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    The Situation in Hell

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    Richard Morris
    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

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    The Situation in Hell

    Uploaded by

    Richard Morris
    35 views2 pages
    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

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    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    35 views2 pages

    The Situation in Hell

    Uploaded by

    Richard Morris
    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
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    The Situation in Hell:

    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington


    chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor
    shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
    pleasure of enjoying it as well.
    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it
    expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
    One student, however, wrote the following:
    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the
    rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think
    that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
    souls are leaving.
    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in
    the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
    religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since
    people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
    increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
    Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
    the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
    This gives two possibilities:
    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
    temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the
    temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
    So which is it?
    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will
    be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went
    out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
    exothermic and has already frozen over.

    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not
    accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby
    proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
    shouting "Oh my God."
    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

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