Learning To Breathe Fire by JC Herz - Excerpt
Learning To Breathe Fire by JC Herz - Excerpt
Learning To Breathe Fire by JC Herz - Excerpt
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Copyright © 2014 by J. C. Herz
All rights reserved.
www.crownpublishing.com
The views of the author are exclusively her own and do not reflect the official views of
CrossFit, Inc. Although the reader may find the practices in this book to be useful or
appealing, content is made available with the understanding that neither the author
nor the publisher is engaged in presenting specific medical, psychological, emotional,
or spiritual advice. Nothing in this book is intended to be a diagnosis, prescription,
recommendation, or cure for emotional, medical, or psychological problems. Each
person should engage in a program of treatment or prevention only in consultation
with a licensed, qualified physician, therapist, or other competent professional.
First Edition
101
looks really dangerous.” Ten feet away guys were punching each other
in the face, which was, apparently, not really dangerous.
The absurdity, and the hassle of it all, was just too much. So in 2007,
Newman rented a 1,000-square-foot place in the Garment District,
“The Black Box,” which refers to CrossFit’s empirical discipline of mea-
suring inputs (the workouts) and outputs (athletic performance) from
the training method. In a lovely stroke of irony, the term is also drama-
world jargon for a small, bare-bones experimental theater.
Newman needed thirty members to cover the rent, and he had
twenty people. “There are not thirty people in New York City who are
going to do this CrossFit thing,” he thought. “This is just going to be
an expensive gym membership for me.” That year, the Black Box grew
from thirty members to over a hundred. Newman got kicked out of his
first Garment District space when, during a WOD, a barbell someone
dropped from overhead crashed straight through the floor into the space
below. It was after hours, but the landlord wasn’t so thrilled. When the
Black Box decamped to a larger space, also in the Garment District,
Newman and his people pulled up the mats to move. They had broken
literally every tile.
The tiles were broken because CrossFitters, left to their own devices,
regularly dump heavily loaded barbells from overhead onto the ground.
There is a legitimate reason for this: safety. If an athlete is going for
maximum effort with a load he’s not sure he can propel all the way up
to his shoulders, or all the way overhead, it’s essential that he be able to
fail safely. And failing safely on a one-rep-max Olympic lift or overhead
squat means dropping the bar.
Also, it’s fun to drop barbells. The ability to instantly jettison a serious
amount of weight gives strength workouts the quality of play, no matter
how strenuous the effort. If you can’t do the lift, you can eject. And
if you do manage to launch a heavily loaded barbell over your head,
and your heart is pounding with the hot-damn-I-did-it victory beat of a
personal record, it is sublime to simply release your fingers from the bar
and have all those bumper plates suddenly not compress your body. The
spine springs back to its full length. Muscles no longer brace. There, I did
it—I’m free. That sense of victory and freedom, the sudden lightness of
releasing a heavy burden, is like getting a cast taken off. It’s like getting
a cast taken off your soul.
When it’s synchronized, the ritual of dropping barbells is even more
intense and satisfying. So for instance, in an every-minute-on-the-minute
set of heavy snatches, every sixty seconds a clock ticks down, and your
coach bellows, “Three, two, one, GO!” The lightning of electrical im-
pulse courses through each athlete’s nerves and muscles at the same mo-
ment. Every barbell flies toward the ceiling. There’s a slight variation in
speed, depending on each athlete’s height and strength. Then, within a
few seconds, all the barbells come crashing down, and the boom of doz-
ens of twenty-five-and forty-five-pound rubber bumper plates hitting
the ground is like war drums. Thunder. It’s beautiful. This is why every
tile in the Black Box was broken. It’s also why CrossFit boxes outside
industrial areas tend to have unhappy neighbors and grouchy landlords.
So Josh Newman was sent packing by his first Garment District
landlord. He was also nearly arrested in Times Square for sprinting up
41st Street wearing a weight vest—t he kind of vest that’s black nylon,
with rows and rows of tiny pockets to hold one-pound lozenge-shaped
weights, and looks exactly like a suicide bomber vest. Seconds into
his full-speed dash into Times Square, Newman was being shouted
down by ten police officers, two of them with guns drawn. “But then,”
he recalls, “they realized I was too small and Jewy looking to be a
threat. They just said, ‘I don’t know what you’re doing, but never do it
here again.’ ”
Around the same time, a police car on Eisenhower Avenue in Alex-
andria, Virginia, slowed to a stop, its red-and-blue lights flashing in the
pre-dawn darkness. Jerry Hill lowered his wheelbarrow and raised his
hands. The wheelbarrow was loaded with two hundred-pound dumb-
bells and an engine block, and he’d been sprinting with it, to build grip
strength, on his way to the jujitsu studio where he trained athletes. Grip
strength is essential when you’re moving a lot of weight with a barbell,
or stringing together dozens of pull-ups, and the best way to build grip
strength for these activities is by holding on to something heavy for as
long as possible, preferably while you’re also winded. Hence the wheel-
barrow, the dumbbells, and the engine block.
“I’m a strength coach,” Jerry projected his voice to the police car.
“These are weights. It’s strength. And conditioning.” The lights kept
flashing. The cop got out of his car.
“I’m a strength coach,” Jerry repeated with conviction. “These are
weights. It’s strength. And. Conditioning.” The cop scrutinized him,
calculating the odds that this wiry little white guy was telling the truth
versus running down Eisenhower Avenue with a stolen engine block in
a wheelbarrow.
“You look suspicious,” the cop growled, got back in his car, and drove
away.
Jerry and his wheelbarrow trundled off to the dojo. Same as in Philly,
here was a jujitsu gym whose owner was happy to earn some extra cash
by time-sharing a facility with CrossFitters. Aside from the cultural kin-
ship between CrossFit and martial arts, they have similar real estate
requirements. Both disciplines tend to occupy marginal space, often
industrial space: warehouses, converted light-manufacturing buildings,
former auto body workshops. Space needs to be cheap, open to accom-
modate sparring, and easy to equip with basic training apparatus: mats,
weights, punching bags, maybe a drinking fountain. Adding some kettle
bells and medicine balls doesn’t screw up this kind of floor plan.
More important, the diurnal rhythms of martial arts and CrossFit
were, at least initially, a perfect counterpoint. Martial arts athletes tend
to work out in the evening. CrossFit’s early adherents were morning
people, rising before dawn to hit an o’dark thirty WOD. Jerry’s classes
started at 5:15 a.m. and ran every forty-five minutes through 8:15 a.m.
Then it would be time for him to go home and be Mr. Mom. But for
three hours in the morning, he was king of the Blue Room, so named for
the color of the jujitsu mats. “It was on the second floor,” he remembers.
“Everyone was asleep. It was like a speakeasy.”2
It wasn’t ideal. Because the jujitsu studio was, in turn, subletting
space from a conventional gym downstairs, there were constraints on
how Jerry’s gang could use the equipment. There weren’t fixed pull-up
bars, only bars hung on chains from the ceiling. So people learned how
to time the kipping motion of their hips, generating momentum in tan-
dem with the pendulum swing of the bar, to get up and over. There was
a knack to it, as with any acrobatic trick.
There weren’t boxes to jump on, so they stacked mats to 24 or 30
inches, to jump on. Shoes weren’t allowed on the mats, so when it was
time to run outside, people had to quickly lace up their shoes, run down-
stairs, do their sprints, then run upstairs and kick off their shoes for the
next WOD.
Worst of all, they couldn’t drop weights on the floor, which meant
that heavy Olympic lifting WODs were out. For a powerlifter like Jerry,
this made every barbell WOD into an unconsummated love affair. Bars
would be loaded with less weight than he knew his athletes could han-
dle with their mightiest one-time efforts. They’d string together barbell
movements from the floor to hips, from hips to shoulders to overhead,
and then, in a controlled sequence, back down to the ground. They
never got to throw their whole selves into one skilled and mighty pull
from the ground.
But there are different ways to build strength, and the early core of
Hill’s CrossFit Oldtown gang built their strength with pull-ups, push-
ups, and tons and tons of air squats. They did muscle-ups on gymnastic
rings. Dan Wilson had trained with Greg Glassman in Santa Cruz and
with the Marines in Pendleton, but he got his first muscle-up in the Blue
Room. “Get up there and fight it, Dan,” Jerry hollered as Wilson swung
from a pull-up to the transition. “You’re there, brother!!!” From the
top of the rings, Wilson, graying, buzz-cut, whooped for joy. “Was that
good?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Jerry laughed, “that was awesome.” They got it on video. It’s
one of the best middle-aged “still got it, baby” moments ever recorded.3
The Blue Room gang did a lot of air-sucking metabolic conditioning,
or metcons, alternating strength efforts with the cardio stress of box
jumps, wall balls, or sprints in the stifling humidity of northern Vir-
ginia. Before long, men’s shirts were off, and the habit of ripping shirts
off during a WOD was well ingrained.
therapeutic, because all of that stuff is set aside. CrossFit people don’t
know anything about my real world, about my work world. They know
my family. They know my back squat, and they know my deadlift. But
they don’t know my nine to five, and I love that.”4
In the Blue Room, the proverbial “What do you do?” was displaced
by “What can you do?” It was a question everyone asked themselves as
they walked through the door to discover what crazy challenge Jerry
was going to throw at them on any given day. No one knew in advance.
If they had, they might have stayed home. It was always a surprise and a
test of mettle and aplomb to discover that today’s WOD was something
you were particularly bad at, or hated.
It was competitive—you can’t put a bunch of type A personalities,
athletes, in a room with a physical challenge, a whiteboard, and a stop-
watch and not get competition. By definition, every movement in a
CrossFit workout is measurable, repeatable, observable, and timed. The
results are all benchmarked. There are thresholds for intermediate and
elite performance, or “Pro” and “Pack,” as Jerry differentiated scale lev-
els for a WOD. For anyone hitting a WOD after the dawn brigade, there
was the implicit gauntlet of whiteboard results, scrawled in dry-erase
marker, to be scrutinized by near-peers. That’s my time to beat.
Competition was fierce but ephemeral, the way it is in rugby. Mike
Hart, a Catholic high school wrestler, had majored in philosophy at
Wheeling Jesuit University and minored in rugby. Or maybe it was
the other way around. But he understood this: when the clock is tick-
ing, your whole purpose in life is to crush your opponents, and the
minute the game is over, you go drinking together. In his college days,
Mike played a rugby tournament in Ohio, called Sevens in the Snow
because the fields were so blanketed with snow that it was hard to
know where the bounds were or if you were over the line to score.
Hurtling through the snow with the ball, he got hit by an opposing
player and kept going. He got hit by a second guy and kept running.
A third player slammed into him, and he pushed the whole straining
pack of three guys five yards to touch the ball down. The drama of
knowing it was all up to him, outnumbered in a last-d itch effort that
Strive on. Pick yourself up. It’s failing that leads to success. CrossFit
Oldtown is a tough lot, a rare breed.
“Now, who’s ready for ‘Murph’?”7
“Murph” may be the hardest workout in CrossFit’s cornucopia of or-
deals. It’s a Hero WOD, named after Michael Murphy, a twenty-nine-
year-old Navy SEAL who died in Afghanistan. As recounted in Marcus
Luttrell’s Lone Survivor and elsewhere, Murph’s four-man reconnaissance
team helicoptered into the mountains to capture or kill a Taliban leader.
Once there, they were discovered by a group of local goat herders and
had to decide whether to kill them. Murphy had been nicknamed “The
Protector” as a teenager for defending a homeless man who’d been
attacked while collecting cans, and for defending a special-needs kid
who’d been shoved into school lockers. Murph looked at the goat herders
and determined that there was nothing especially hostile about them,
so he left them alive. Before long, the SEAL team was surrounded by
armed Taliban, possibly alerted by the goat herders they’d let pass. The
Chinook helicopter Murphy called in for reinforcements was shot down
with a shoulder-fired missile, killing all sixteen people aboard. With no
radio reception to send another distress call, Murphy left his protected
position to relay his team’s location back to base, scrambled back to
cover, and kept fighting until he died from his wounds.
He had a favorite CrossFit workout: a 1-mile run, then 100 pull-ups,
200 push-ups, and 300 squats, then another 1-mile run, all in a ballis-
tic vest. He called it “Body Armor.” That’s “Murph,” with a 20-pound
weight vest substituting for combat Kevlar. A month after he died,
CrossFit.com posted the workout on the main page as a Hero WOD.
Hero WODs are ten times harder than regular CrossFit workouts.
They’re fallen soldiers’ favorite workouts, a sacrifice of human energy
to the glorious fallen dead. What some battle-trained soldier did, to get
tougher, to test himself, is re-enacted push-up by push-up, power clean
by power clean, sprint by sprint. What a fallen warrior did, at the peak
of his physical powers, regular people do, or struggle to do, in his mem-
ory. Hero WODs are meant to take an athlete outside himself. They’re
supposed to put you in the Hurt Locker. They put you on the ground.
You feel like you’re about to die. Then you get up, and remember some
incredibly strong, brave young guy who didn’t.
The first Hero WODs were posted as a gesture of respect to armed
forces doing CrossFit in the field. But they were less of an invention than
a haphazard archaeological discovery, as if some fitness freaks in Santa
Cruz had gone out to drill a well and cracked into some long-forgotten
temple. This kind of ritual barely exists in modern society, aside from
prayer and Civil War re-enactment. Hero WODs are physical action as
a form of remembrance. They commemorate special days: the anniver-
sary of a fallen soldier’s birthday, or an athlete’s own birthday. Septem-
ber 11. “Murph” has become a Memorial Day fund-raiser for military
charities. Jerry put it on the whiteboard the week after Michael Mur-
phy was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor. Josh Newman was
doing “Murph” when he was forced to a halt by New York’s finest with
guns drawn.
Two of the Blue Room boys finished “Murph” in under an hour,
an impressive accomplishment considering that a minute was lost every
time they had to lace up their shoes and run downstairs, or run back
upstairs to do pull-ups, push-ups, and squats. Chriss Smith, an actual
Navy SEAL working out at the Blue Room, did not break an hour and
finished only four minutes ahead of a petite woman named Andrea, who
roasted beans at a local coffeehouse and later became his wife.
After three hundred crushing WODs, Monday through Saturday,
Jerry posted a chokey reflection on the Blue Room’s first year, his
pride in the the pack, and hopes for the future. “I’m sorry,” he wrote,
“but I gotta share a story about my 5 year old Anna. Several months
ago I bought a climbing rope and hung it in our basement (right next
to the rings). Now Anna is pretty talented. She excels at a lot of things
and has done so since an early age. . . . She is also pretty tough on her-
self, tougher than I’ll ever be on her. With her tough self-expectations
I’ve also seen a tendency for her to shy away from things she can’t
initially do, to get frustrated. I want her to experience the unknown,
not to fear the possibility of defeat and then be paralyzed by it—to
persevere through adverse situations, to feel the victory of picking her-
self up off the mat after a fall and have at it one more time. So what’s
a dad to do?”8
In Jerry’s case, it was hang a rope next to his desk, and never sug-
gest that his daughter climb it, or ask her to climb it. There were a few
rules: no swinging on the rope—it was there to climb. No jumping from
stacked-up boxes so she could get near the ceiling rafters and quickly
reach the top (the first thing she’d figured out). While he was doing
grown-up “computer work,” she took a few attempts, got frustrated, and
wanted nothing to do with the rope for a month. That was okay, he re-
assured her. It was good to have a challenge. Then something changed.
She stopped saying “I can’t” and “I’ll never be able to do this.” She
started having fun tackling a lofty but do-able challenge, trying different
things, keeping at it, until she climbed the rope.
“What a look of pure joy on her face. It’s all a Dad or a Coach can
ever hope for.”
And this was the difference between the Blue Room and “fitness boot
camp”: there was a Marine in charge, for sure. But no one was getting
yelled at, or bossed through one more set or three more reps. That sort
of drill sergeant behavior is considered unseemly in CrossFit. It implies
that the person doing the work is too weak-spirited and lazy to push
themselves, that they are so resigned to their own lack of drive that they
pay someone to intimidate or herd them through their discomfort. Most
CrossFit athletes would be insulted if a coach implied they needed to
be bossed through a WOD. Most of them, like Anna, push themselves
harder than their coach ever would. It’s part of the ethos. The challenge
is there—everyone has to seize it for themselves.
It would have been understood without Jerry telling stories like this
on the blog. But by telling these stories, by always commenting on team
performance, not just individual milestones, by articulating his philos-
ophy, he gave the pack an identity and a leader. The blog defined a set
of shared values about what to strive for. It also defined the pack as a
pocket of resistance against a big, dominant, malign Enemy: the fitness
industry itself.
Today’s culture, Jerry argued in the wake of major league baseball’s
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