Why Suffering? Why me?

How I cope with and understand suffering

By Randall Dean West

Why Suffering? Why me?

Table of Contents
Why Suffering? Why me?...................................................................... 1 How I cope with and understand suffering ............................................ 1
Introduction ........................................................................................................ 1

Understanding Suffering ..................................................................... 3

Who? ................................................................................................................. 3 What? ................................................................................................................ 3 When? ............................................................................................................... 3

Why? ............................................................................................... 4 How?................................................................................................ 5

Why Suffering? Why me?

Why Suffering? Why me?

How I cope with and understand suffering
Introduction My mother grew up on a ranch in northern Arizona. In fact, I come from a long line of ranchers; tough cowboys who knew how to work hard and what it meant to be American. These were true cowboys that wore boots, jeans, and a Stetson, not as a fashion statement, but because they were needed to get the job done. As the oldest child in the family, my mother learned through experience how to pull more than her Branding on the ranch share of the workload. She is one tough cookie. As she grew up she became a very accomplished and refined woman. Throughout high school, she studied piano from her mother and my grandma, Gigi. She was a beautiful and talented young girl. In her senior year, she competed in the Junior Miss pageant in her town. For the talent portion of the competition, she rode her horse onto the stage and played a difficult piano piece. Even though the horse pooped on the stage while she was playing and garnered laughter from the judges and crowd, she was still crowned Miss Lehi Arizona. In college, she double majored in Music and Humanities. She made many friends and everyone loved her contagious humor and caring spirit. She became a great servant to her friends and family. She served as the student body president of the university. She served a two-year ecclesiastical mission in Switzerland, learning Swiss German in the process and helping people come to know Christ. Later, she served in the community promoting education. She organized church parties with hilarious programs that lifted spirits and helped
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create lasting bonds of friendship in the church. She has served as a local chapter president of the largest womens organization in the world, called The Relief Society. She has helped the poor, cleaned their homes, prepared meals for those in need, and organized community service projects. On top of all of this, she raised seven children. I could go on. However, the amazing thing to me is that she has done all of this, often while facing considerable physical pain. Though most people could never tell, she has been plagued by chronic migraines. It started out as a few migraines a month, but today her migraines are almost constant or every other day. Anyone that has experienced one migraine can only imagine the suffering that comes with chronic migraines. It has become routine for the pain to cause vomiting. My dad has taken her to the hospital numerous times when the pain gets so bad that she needs a shot of medication. On top of all that, she has recently undergone painful knee replacement surgery on both of her knees and struggles with excruciating nerve damage as she tries to heal. You probably know someone like my mom: someone so good that, in your mind, deserves neither pain nor suffering of any amount. So, why does it happen? Why does God allow it? Maybe you yourself have gone through some difficult trial that caused you to ask, Why me? Why is there so much suffering around the world to people that have done nothing to deserve their pain? Why does oppression, sickness, and death, seem to overpower us and seem to stomp out the fire of hope in our hearts? While I hardly confess to know the answer to each of these questions, I have often pondered them myself, especially with regards to my mother and other loved ones. I believe that there are some universal answers to these questions as well as personal answers specific to each individual. While I can share with you some of the universal truths that I know, you must also seek to answer these questions for yourself as you try to understand and cope with the suffering you and those around you are facing.

Why Suffering? Why me?

Understanding Suffering
Who? The first universal truth of suffering on earth is that it affects all of us. Every human being will have trials small and large. Each one of us will have family and friends that will go through difficult experiences. No one can escape it, though we might think others do. We might look at others and think that they dont have any pain because they have the perfect life. However, Christ taught us that we cannot compare crosses. No one is exempt from suffering. Not even Him. Even though he lived perfectly, he did not have the perfect life. In fact, He was persecuted and spit upon. At the end of His life, Christ suffered infinitely as He paid the price for our sins. Truly, if He suffered so much for us, being perfect, we can at least be grateful that our trials pale in comparison. By comparing our trials to His, this is at least one way that He is able to succor us. Yes, each one of us will have times of heartache and times of pain, but we should remember that we are not alone. What? The second truth is that there are different types of suffering and that each of us has our own combination to deal with. Although we all experience pain, it comes in different forms for each person. It can be physical or emotional, innocent or resulting from our choices, small or overwhelming, and internal or external. An important thing to remember is that suffering means different things to different people. What some would consider insurmountable suffering, others would consider a mere pebble in their shoe. Luckily, we will never face more pain than we can bear. If we truly believe that and have faith in this promise, we can overcome any hardship. When? Another truth about suffering is that it will happen to us throughout our lives. There will be times of happiness and joy along with times of heartache and pain. In this life, we cannot escape trials. Contrary to what we think when we are young, it doesnt get any easier. In fact, many of us will experience an increase in physical pain as we approach the final years of our life. When we can recognize suffering as part of life, we can be better prepared mentally to face upcoming challenges.
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Why?

Note: The concepts of this section can be better understood by first having an understanding of Gods Plan of Happiness. This plan answers some of the deepest and most important questions of life. (Who are we? Where did we come from? Why are we here? Where are we going?) As you read each paragraph of this section, think about how these concepts fit into this plan.

Each of us will have our own unique type of suffering to face. In order to understand why we have the suffering and trials that are specific to us, we must first have the Spirit of God. The Spirit of God will help us understand and answer the question, Why? We can't have the Spirit if we are bitter, have self-pity, pride or anger. We need to be humble, meek, and submissive to whatever trials we may face. One reason that we suffer is so that we will remember God. An example of this was the tragedy of 9/11/2001. As a people, we began to remember our God and began to pray together and mourn together. We were humbled and were reminded of the things that really matter in life. Sadly, we are already beginning to forget. Hopefully, we can hold on to those feelings and wont need to be reminded again. Another reason people suffer is because of sin. This reason is probably the easiest to understand. Even children can understand that if we are disobedient, we must suffer the consequences. Still, many people will try to persuade us that we will not suffer no matter what we do. But the reality is that we can bring a lot of suffering upon ourselves by our actions. For example, those who drink or smoke heavily can develop various painful diseases. If we are rude and unkind to others, we can suffer from loneliness and often receive unkindness in return. However, most of the suffering in the world does not come as a punishment. Sometimes suffering comes upon us directly from others. Although we may ask in faith, in some cases our pain cannot be taken from us even though we might feel that it should be. In this case, it is because our suffering will stand as a witness against those who harm us. We can take comfort in the fact that even Jesus Christ experienced this type of suffering on the cross when he said, Father, if

Why Suffering? Why me?

thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. (Luke 22:42) Even with this understanding of why we face trials in our lives, we might still wonder what purpose it has. Why cant God just make everything enjoyable for us? Do we really need to suffer so much? From my experience, I know that our trials are for our own benefit and that God would never give us any law, punishment, or trial if its whole purpose wasnt to help us. In the great plan that God has for us, He gave us this time to be tested and to prove ourselves. When we truly understand our purpose on this earth, we realize that suffering is actually necessary: The people of the Most High God must be tried. It is written that they will be tried in all things, even as Abraham was tried [see D&C 101:1 4]. If we are called to go upon mount Moriah to sacrifice a few of our Isaacs, it is no matter; we may just as well do that as anything else. I think there is a prospect for the Saints to have all the trials they wish for or can desire. Now if you possess the light of the Holy Spirit, you can see clearly that trials in the flesh are actually necessary. (source)

How?
Hopefully, by understanding suffering more fully we can have hope in the future. My mother has been a great example to me of how to overcome trials. She shows patience, determination, and humility. She is not bitter. She understands that if we are able to look past the moment of pain, we can even be grateful for our trials: "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." (Romans 8:18) Each of us copes with trials in a different way. After we have endured the sufferings of this life and if we have endured them well, we will be rescued and never suffer again. We can and must support each other through the difficult times that we face. I know from experience that if we are faithful, we will overcome any opposition. We will get through any trail. I know that it will all work out.
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