Catching God's Heart and Design
Catching God's Heart and Design
Catching God's Heart and Design
Throughout this material is Scripture that challenges us to broad view of the kingdom and the fact that Gods grace is the lifeblood for our parti cipation in that kingdom and is foundational for our marriage and parenting. A few notes I would recommend first going through the material under Scripture with Comments reading Scripture only, then coming back and reading the Scriptures with the comments. Through the comments we can benefit from the insights of others, but we need to be sure to hear Gods word first. It is especially important to see this sweep of Scripture, the repetition of certain themes, and the way they connect in Gods heart and design. I intentionally use the word household rather than family (household is inclusive of family). I believe this biblical term (see Scriptures to follow) points to a entity that connects us with Gods broader concerns of redemption and the establishment of His kingdom. I wish to avoid a traditional family/family values agenda that can, at times, tend toward selfishness and inwardness and work against seeing, and being involved in, Gods bigger purposes in our lives, families, church, and world. Those in Biblically functioning households will have open arms to widows, orphans, and to a lost world, and will be integrally related to the community of Gods people and in submission to the officers of a local church. I believe this material has great relevance for all of Gods people - single and married, with and without children, old and young. May God teach and stretch us as we prayerfully consider it so that we can be more effective in accomplishing His goals in and through our lives. Stewart Jordan, Pastor, Redeemer Presbyterian Church Madison, Alabama (205-604-9307)
GENESIS 1:1-4 . . . Revelation 21:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Then God said, Let there be light; and there was light. And saw the light, that it was good . . . [Rev 21:1] Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away.
Imagine you promised someone with no familiarity with that Bible that you would give them a large amount of money if they could, in five minutes, give you a good answer to the question, What is this book about? When the clock began ticking, they would most likely do a quick survey of the beginning and end of the book. What would they see? In Genesis 1 they would read about a God making all things then acting to bring order and beauty to this world, calling it good at every stage, and then also making man and woman to populate, rule over, and further order and beautify the world God made. The whole account would speak of this Gods great love and commitment to this creation and the exciting project ahead of completing the work. Then when they flipped to Revelation 21-22 at the end of the book they would read a description of a new heaven and new earth the descriptions would include all kinds of ideas and images temple, Jerusalem, living waters, judgment, a Lamb through whom a curse is removed, etc. The reader would not know what those meant but he would surmise that somehow there were problems in Gods original project but that he did not abandon it but somehow renewed and completed it. The reader would also see that humanity still played a prominent role with God and His work and that were now designated as sons to God (21:3,7). He would see that the thrust of the passage is not us going but is God coming. He would probably say something like this: This book is about the Creator committing to a good and orderly creation and placing humanity in charge of completing it, and it shows that the Creator expressed that commitment by completing the project even though a curse and other problems got in the way. Once he got that right he would be ready to read Genesis 2 Revelation 20 and put it in its proper context, as should we. We would also be ready to see the amazing role that we, who have faith and allegiance to Jesus, are granted in witnessing to, and spreading the creational and new creational work God is doing. The consistent biblical hope, from Genesis to Revelation is that God should do something with the earth so that we can once again dwell upon it in rest, in Sabbath peace, with him. The Bible speaks predominantly of the need for God to come here, not of the wish for us to go somewhere else. This earth is to be the place of Gods judgment, and also the place of Gods saving power (Christopher Wright, OT Ethics and the People of God, 154).
GENESIS 1:27-28 So created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Image is not a substance in man or some particular part of him. Rather it is Gods royal calling to represent Him in His creation and to spread His heavenly rule; to be his royal priesthood. Kingship and divine image go hand in hand . . . to be made in the image of God is to be given regal status (Alexander, 77). A question we often ask and answer at Redeemer goes like this: What is the Bible and history about? God makes all things, then through Jesus, the seed of Abraham and David, and through the Holy Spirit, defeats sin and death and brings creation to rest as he (1) claims, cleanses, and blesses his people as a holy nation and royal priesthood; (2) brings his heavenly glory and rule to earth by making the world his holy temple-city; (3) and judges all that stands against him. Our God reigns! Consider what Jesus taught us to pray: Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. And consider the testimony of Isaiah that the heart of the gospel good news is, Your God reigns! (Isaiah 52:7) and the angels report that this gospel reign of God is fulfilled in the one born in the city of David, Christ the Lord (Luke 2:10-11; also see Romans 10:12-15). To see this will help us understand all the rest of the Bible and all aspects of our lives, including all aspects of household life and generational
3 commitments. It will also open up for us the glories of Jesus being the fullness of that Image and the expression of Gods gospel reign and how all the responsibilities and callings that follow in this material can only be grasped through faith in Christ Jesus and a living relationship with Him.
GENESIS 1:28-29 God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful and increase in n umber; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.
This first statement of mankinds purpose stresses the image application of having and rearing of descendants through which to spread Gods wise and good rule through the earth. This is basic and foundational to everything we will see in this material: God wants His people to have and raise godly descendants in order to spread His glory and rule throughout the earth. We will see this as Gods design and heart through every phase of creation and redemption. We need to constantly say to our children, You are Gods. You are His so that you can, through the strength we have in Jesus, live for Him and spread His glory. What a privilege! If Christian couples come to understand that the ultimate purpose of their marriage is to glorify God, they have taken an important first step. (Wilson, Reforming, 19) A father and husband should always be bringing purpose and hope into his home. Purpose: We are here for God, to subdue and redeem everything we touch and everything that is His which is everything! Hope: In Gods life-giving blessing, all things are possible. Yes, God can bring fruit and joy out of every difficult challenge and situation we face. A wife and mother is responsible to bring this into the home and to the children as well, whether her husband does or not . . . but it sure helps when it emanates from Dad!
GENESIS 2:15 Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.
Greg Beale (along with other writers) builds a case that the Garden is to be seen as a sanctuary, a temple, from which Gods presence was to spread throughout the earth and that Adam was the first priest-king over that temple. For instance, tend and keep in 2:15 are words that later denote the role of the priest in Israel serving in the temple. Adam was to be Gods obedient servant in maintaining both the physical and the spiritual welfare of the garden abode, which included dutifully keeping evil influences from invading the sanctuary (NT Theology, 32). He was to do this through knowing Gods word and faithfully teaching it to his wife and children and doing all he could to guard them from forces that went against this truth. We will soon see that Adam failed in this role. Such failure, then and now, brings harm to the family and leads to failure in the spread of Gods kingship. While riding in the car, Beau, my 16 year old son, asked me if we could go rent a certain video game. I said, You know, Id rather not; something about that kind of game just make me uncomfortable; when you are out on your own, it will certainly be up to you, but Im just a little uncomfortable with it. He respectfully pushed back a little, but I held my position. A week later, my ten year old daughter, who had been in the back seat, said to me, Dad, I really appreciate that you love us. Thanks, I said, what made you say that? Well, I was thinking about how the other day you decided not to get that video game; I know you did that because you were wanting to protect us. That makes me know you love God and that you love us.
GENESIS 2:18 The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. . . But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
About 80% of effective parenting is having a joyful, godly marriage. And such a marriage starts with a husband who, through the strength Christ provides, joyfully receives his helper from God through all the days and years of their marriage. As a result of the creation order, men and women are oriented to one another differently. They need one another, but they need one another differently. The man needs the help; the woman needs to help. Marriage was created by God to provide companionship in the labor of dominion. The cultural mandate, the requirement to fill and subdue the earth, is still in force, and a husband cannot fulfill this portion of the task in isolation. He needs a companion suitable for him in the work to which God has called him. He is called to the work and must receive help from her. She is called to the work through ministering to him. He is oriented to the task, and she is oriented to him . . . Another way of saying this is that the mans orientation is to do the job with her help, while the womans orientation is to help him do the job. He is oriented to the task, and she is oriented to him. (Wilson, Reforming, 17, 63) Gods will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (Genesis 2:18). After a wifes personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. . . Whether her husband is a faithful Christian man or an unbeliever [see I Peter 3:1-6 and comments], God wants every Christian woman to be a godly wife - an excellent wife. (Peace, 4) We need to see that the later commandments for a wife to submit, obey, and respect her husband are all applications of this more basic creational fact that a wife is to find her very place in ministry and usefulness alongside her husband. This place is a place of freedom from stress about whether she is doing her job, from bearing burdens God called her husband to bear, and from comparison with other women. It is incumbent upon and a privilege for husbands to consistently and specifically see and communicate to their wives their love and appreciation for all they bring to their lives and home. This includes the unique and wonderful way they can help a husband see his failings.
GENESIS 2:19-25 Now the Lord God formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the mans ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lor d God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave hi s father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and felt no shame.
Adam rejoices in, and esteems Eve as the helper suitable for him. Her unique gifts, perspectives, and abilities are vital in their carrying out Gods will. This is the way every husband should relate to his wife. God has made a wifes heart such that every day, good ones and not so good ones, she is seeking to know that her husband is still rejoicing that she is the one God brought to him, that she is indeed his glory (see I Corinthians 11:7). (This is especially important on the not so good days.) To not do so is to hate your own body according to the Apostle Paul (Ephesians 5:28-29). In the Bible, differentiated roles for men and women are never traced back to the fall of man and woman into sin. Rather, the foundation of this differentiation is traced back to the way things were in Eden before
sin warped our relationships. Differentiated roles were corrupted, not created, by the fall. They were created by God. (Piper, pg. 35) Elisabeth Elliot traces distinct relational patterns in the garden account which illuminate where woman stands in relation to man: 1. She was made for the man. According to specifications, she was divinely designed to fit his needs exactly - an adapter, a responder. 2. She was made from the man, quite literally, constructed out of one of his own bones. If you miss the point in Genesis 2, you can pick it up in I Corinthians 11: For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man (I Corinthians 11:8 -9, RSV). 3. She was brought to the man. God made a present of Eve to Adam, not of Adam to Eve. 4. She was named by the man. The Old Testament authority to name was of immense importance. It signified the acceptance of responsibility. (Weber, 90-91) Originally, Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed, completely open with each other. As a result of the fall, they became ashamed, hiding from God and embarrassed to be seen by each other. Christ is the only One who could have reconciled them to a restored, intimate, unashamed relationship with God and each other. Certainly, the deep unity and intimacy that God intended between husband and wife has been marred by the fall of man. This is but one area that God intends to set right through His plan of redemption. (Peace, 52) If you were to ask my children whether their Dad loves them or their Mother more, they would say, Mom. I taught them this in the earliest years of their lives, and affirm it constantly (it serves as somewhat of a household joke I know, I know, you love me, but you love MOOOOOOM more!) I work to live up to this on a daily basis, as I believe it teaches my children the biblical order that they should strive for and it helps establish a foundation for deep security in their lives.
GENESIS 3:6B; 9; 17A She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. . .Then God called to Adam and said, Where are you?. . .To Adam he said, Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you. . .
Adam feared Eve more than he feared God. The result is that he could no longer protect her. Adam, then, was a silent man, a passive man. Like many men in history, he was physically present but emotionally absent. . . But silence is not golden - it is deadly. Adams silence was lethal. It brought the severing of relationship. And ultimately it brought death. (Crabb, 91, 98) Why doesnt God summon both Adam and Eve to account together [referring to Gen. 3:9]? Because, as the God-appointed head, Adam bore primary responsibility to lead their partnership in a God-glorifying direction. (Ortlund, 108) The man was the leader from Day One. He was the head. He was the responsible one, and God holds him responsible. No wiggling out from under it. In the garden of Eden the man is personally brought to account for the couples sin. The New Testament affirms Adams culpability as a critical po int of doctrine. Just as through one man sin entered in the world, and death through sin. . .the judgment arose from one transgression. . .(Romans 5:12,16). Eve ate the fruit first. Adam followed. But it is for Adams sin the race is condemned. (Weber, 90) A mans responsibilities in his home have nothing to do with his personality, his strengths or weaknesses, or his inclinations. It is based on Gods calling alone. To back away or run away from these responsibilities is to walk in rebellious unbelief and will leave your wife and children unprotected.
In the communities of Reformation Europe. . .it was believed that marriage, family, and society could not long survive if the fathers of the house lost their nerve. The consequences of men dou bting their abilities and fearing their responsibilities were all too clear in fragile premodern society. In their strength and selfrespect lay also the well-being of all around them. (Ozment, 70)
GENESIS 3:15 (God speaking to the serpent . . . ) And I will put enmity Between you and the woman, And between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, And you shall bruise His heel." (Later Scripture makes clear that this is fulfilled through Christ, the seed of the woman, gaining victory over Satan see Romans 16:20)
In the midst of sin and its destructive consequences to mans relationship to God, his wife, and his world (see Gen 3:8-24), God promises to bring a sovereign victory and deliverance. Through Jesus God will realize this victory and deliverance (see Romans 16:20). Families should be full of this victory and deliverance with a joyful awareness that it is brought about through Father, Son, and Spirit and the death, resurrection, and exaltation of Jesus.
GENESIS 3:16 To the woman he said, I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.
In these words, God is indicating that as a result of sin, rather than exercising caring headship and leadership, men will seek to rule in an autocratic, unloving way. And He is indicating with reference to women that rather than being submissive helpers, they will desire to have mastery over their husbands. (We are understanding the word desire here in the same sense as that of its next occurrence [Genesis 4:7], where sin has the desire to master Cain.) . . . Thus, God has forewarned that sin will make the role relationship of man and woman a place beset by struggle that only Gods grace can help us overcome. . . Since Christians, like others, are affected by the spirit of the age, these sinful tendencies within men and women will be compounded by the feminist push of our age as well by a chauvinistic and macho backlash. . . Because people in authority, as a result of sin, often seek to rule and dominate with selfish or cruel attitudes, men are instructed not to be embittered against their wives (Colossians 3:19) but to love them and give themselves to them (Colossians 3:19; Ephesians 5:25), to nourish and cherish them (Ephesians 5:29) and to honor them as fellow-heirs (I Peter 3:7). Because people under authority, as a result of sin, often resent their role and seek to minimize or escape it, or to take the leadership, women are repeatedly urged to submit (I Peter 3:1; Ephesians 5:24; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:5) because it is Gods will and should be done as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:27; Colossians 3:18) and with respect (Ephesians 5:33) and a gentle and quiet spirit (I Peter 3:4). . . Thus we must constantly reiterate the roles of headship and submission and also constantly call for attitudes and actions that enable these roles to be fulfilled, by Gods grace, in a world where sin works from within and without against those rol es and against those attitudes and actions. (Knight, 346)
GENESIS 7:1 The Lord said to Noah, Go into the ark, you and your whole family, because I have found you righteous in this generation.
7 In Gods sight the family is regarded as a unity, with the father as head and representative. Parents and children are one, and it is on this principle that God will deal with the families of His people. . . You must accept by faith the assurance that [your child] can be saved, and act in obedience to the command that you are to bring him in! (Murray, 21, 23) Gods covenants are made with heads of households. The heads of households act as representatives of their entire household. (Ptacek, 7) This household/descendant connection is an application of Gods creation design and purposes (see Gen 1:28-29). This connection and design does not start with Israel; it does not start with Abraham; it does not start with Noah. It starts in creation, and then is affirmed in every phase of Gods redemption.
GENESIS 9:1 So God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.
After the flood, God affirms his original mandate given to Adam and Eve: Noah was to stay committed to this earth, and to having and raising godly children to fill it. Carrying and having children is a joyful calling, but also a hard one. Men should be profoundly grateful to their wives for this! God blessed . . . as you read this material you might get discouraged Im not doing that; I cant do that; I tried that and failed, etc. Know now, and remind yourself again and again as you read and struggle with this material, that it is God who blesses and enabled you in all of this.
GENESIS 12:1-3 Now the Lord had said to Abram: "Get out of your country, From your family And from your father's house, To a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you And make your name great; And you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, And I will curse him who curses you; And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed."
After sinful humanity had given their best shot at ordering a sinful world in Gen 4-11 (particularly see the building of the Tower of Babel in 11:1-9), God moves to bring order and righteousness through Abram, later to be named Abraham. These promises shape the whole of Genesis and the whole of the OT; the promise to Abraham is recalled in the first verse of the NT as well (The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the Son of David, the Son of Abraham, Matthew 1:1). Paul would later show that the true descendants of Abraham are those of the Jew plus Gentile church who have faith in Christ (Romans 4) and that the inheritance God would give him through those descendants would be not just the land but the world (Romans 4:13). Paul also would write that God preached the gospel to Abraham beforehand, saying In you all the families of the earth shall be blessed (Galatians 3:8). We should raise our children with a great vision of their connection to father Abraham and to their call to bless all the families of the earth. There is thus a continuity and consistency in the total biblical story. Genesis 1-11 shows humanity in Gods earth, but living in a state of alienation from it and longing for restoration and the removal of the curse from the land. The concluding vision of Scripture in Revelation 21-22 looks to a new creation in which God will once again dwell with redeemed humanity. The foundational redemptive covenant of grace with Abraham, therefore, includes land in order to make particular and local what will ultimately be universal blessing not only to all nations but also to the whole earth itself (Wright, OT Ethics, 155)
GENESIS 16:1-2 Now Sarai, Abrams wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her. Abram agreed to what Sarai said. (Note the problems that resulted.)
But becoming the kind of husband Sally wants you to become may not necessarily be the kind of husband God wants you to become. . . A marriage exists to glorify God through evangelical obedience on the part of both husband and wife. Neither spouse is to submit to the others standards for marriage; they both are to submit to Christs. (Hagopian, 56, 192) A godly wife will do all she can to avoid pushing her husband toward actions that dont hit Gods bullseye. A godly husband will be wise and God-fearing enough not to give in when she does.
GENESIS 17:7 I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you.
It is the will of God, clearly revealed in Scripture, to count the children of believers amongst the members of the covenant which He freely established in Scripture . . . (Marcel, 107) So the first and simplest thought our faith must take in and fill with spiritual meaning is this: our children belong to God. (Murray, 266) The certainty of the promise is the same. It rests on Gods free mercy, on His almighty power and His covenant faithfulness. Gods faithfulness to His purpose is the foundation of which the promise rests. It is the reason its fulfillment can be expected. . . I find my foundation of hope on behalf of my child in that very definite promise with which God, Himself, is linked. The first half, I will be your God, is the divine pledge of the second, a God of your descendants after you. . . Let us look upon our children, let us love them and train them as children of the covenant and children of the promise - these are the children of God. (Murray, 31,33,34)
GENESIS 17:9,10 God said further to Abraham, "Now as for you, you shall keep My covenant, you and your descendants after you throughout their generations. This is My covenant, which you shall keep, between Me and you and your descendants after you: every male among you shall be circumcised.
God does not work with individuals primarily, but with families. . . Why did God command the circumcision of Israels infants? Abraham believed and was justified when he could make a responsible decision, and yet God commanded the patriarch to institute the rite, beginning with his own children. Why didnt God simply wait until Abrahams son, Isaac, was old enough to make his own decision? It is because salvation is God-centered, not human-centered. The focus is not on our choosing, but on Gods. God comes to us and to our children in love and grace, placing his mark of ownership on his covenant people. Circumcision was not something a convert did to show he meant business, but was something God did to show he meant business! (Horten, 223,224) The emphasis on descendants within Gods work with Abraham, and subsequently, with Israel, is not a nationalistic emphasis, but is one that flows naturally from creation. Later in this material we will see that this emphasis is emphatically affirmed in the New Testament within the context of the Jew and Gentile church.
Now the Scriptures are equally clear that the heart of covenant-keeping is promise-believing. This is why the Bible, from beginning to end, teaches the centrality of faith. But as it was with Abraham, promisebelieving, or faith, without works is dead. Nowhere is this more important to understand than in the arduous task of bringing up our children in the Lord. To keep us from being overwhelmed by our responsibilities as parents, we must turn first to the promises that apply to us as parents. It is a tragedy of monumental proportions that most modern Christian parents are not aware of the wonderful promises that God has made in His Word on the subject of child-rearing. But as we come to understand these promises, we will then rest in them, and that evangelical rest will result in godly, trusting, faithful parental work. (Wilson, Standing, 21-22)
GENESIS 18:16-19 Then the men rose from there and looked toward Sodom, and Abraham went with them to send them on the way. And the LORD said,"Shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing, since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I have chosen [Abraham], so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.
God says that at the heart of his calling to Abraham is Abrahams godly leadership of his household. This calling is to become a great and mighty nation through which all the nations of the earth shall be blessed (as we saw earlier, the Apostle Paul calls this the gospel see Galatians 3:8). Here is a continuation of the creational wisdom of God of how home, church (the ultimate referent of the great and mighty nation), and mission to the nations fit together and complement one another. And all of this coheres in the Person and work of Christ. We must be able to hold home, church, and mission together for each to work properly. Much of the rest of this material will be designed to help us do this. Families do not automatically become spiritual entities. Someone has to orchestrate the activities. In Puritan thinking, the father was that person. (Rykens book on Puritan life, 86) Abraham is on Gods errand. He is performing a task on Gods agenda. God has called him to these things. He is not freelancing. Abraham does not write his own job description. God defines the task. Abraham acts on Gods behalf . . .If you are Gods agent in this task of providing essential training and instruction in the Lord, then you, too, are a person under authority. (Tripp, 47) How fascinating is the recognition of the ingredient of Gods sovereignty here. The blessing does not proceed from our endeavors, but clearly God looks for the performance of those endeavors as an ingredient for the fulfillment of His purposes. (Kirkby, 148) It was the husbands responsibility to channel the family into religion; to take them to church on the Lords Day, to catechise the children, and teach them the faith; to examine the whole family after each sermon, to see how much had been retained and understood, and to fill any gaps in understanding that might remain; to lead the family in worship daily, ideally twice a day; and to set an example of sober godliness at all times and in all matters. To this end he must be willing to take time out to learn the faith that he is charged to teach. (J. I. Packer in A Quest for Godliness: The Puritan Vision of the Christian Life, as quoted in Ptacek, pg. 47) As the expectations for men in the evangelical world have gotten lower, men have not objected - they have breathed a sigh of relief. (Wilson, Reforming, 37)
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GENESIS 13:11-13; 19 So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company: Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. Now the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the Lord. . .
See the sordid and tragic end of the story in chapter 19 - Lot had pagan sons-in-law who mocked him, a wife who just had to look back, and daughters who seduced him so they could have children. Lot chose the lush Jordan Valley and Abram went to Canaan. Lots story is well known. He lost the hearts of his wife and daughters to the carnality of Sodom. (Wallace, 56) Each family is designed to be a culture - with a language, customs, traditions, and countless unspoken assumptions. God has made the world in such a way that children who grow up in the culture of the family are to be shaped and molded by it. It is the duty of the husband and father to ensure that the shaping is according to the standards of the Word of God . . . When the biblical cultural mandate is abandoned in the home, the vacuum will not be there for long. And because this is a fallen world, those who take over the process of shaping the children, those who rush to fill the void left by derelict husbands and fathers, will always be scoundrels and fools. It is moral idiocy to leave children alone in order to let them learn alone or make decisions for themselves. The fact that they are left alone by their father at h ome does not mean they will be left alone. By nature children are malleable. They will either be shaped lawfully, by those commanded by God to perform the task, or they will be shaped unlawfully, by outsiders. But they will be shaped. (Wilson, Culture) The household is the outgrowth and the expression of the parents lives; t he mirror in which their hidden failures are revealed. (Murray, 284)
GENESIS 22:15-18 The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.
Note a few things here. First, Gods blessing involves fruitfulness and effectiveness through descendants, most of which will come long after Abraham is dead. Do we see, rejoice in, and invest ourselves in blessings and fruit that will come after we are dead? If we are in line with Gods design and purpose and are thinking like our father Abraham, we will. Second, note that the descendants are to be a blessing to all nations on earth. This should always be the goal of our having and raising children to be a blessing to all nations on earth! Third, though, note that there is a militant aspect of this blessing taking possession of the cities of their enemies. Our children are to be raised as warriors for Christ and should be taught the weapons of our warfare (see Eph 6:10-20), beginning with them being taught to walk in the fruits of the Spirit in day to day life. Finally, this calling is an all creation calling. It involves our children taking possession of all of life family life, vocations, art, dance, sports, academics, law, medicine, homemaking, economics, and every other aspect of life. As the seed of Abraham, Jesus now has authority over heaven and earth and he wants our children (and us) to pursue his glory and rule in every corner of heaven and earth (Matthew 28:18-20). Abrahams descendants were to be a renewed humanity. They were to bear Gods image and fill the earth with children who also bore that image, bring beacons of light to others living in spiritual darkness. They were to be Gods instruments through whom God caused the light of his presence to shine in the dark hearts of people in order that they too might become part of the increasing expansion of Gods glorious
11 presence and of the kingdom. This is none other than performing the role of witness to God throughout the earth (Beale, 53).
GENESIS 35:2-4 So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, Get rid of the foreign gods you have with you, and purify yourselves and change your clothes. Then come, let us go up to Bethel, where I will build an altar to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone. So they gave Jacob all the foreign gods they had and the rings in their ears, and Jacob buried them under the oak of Shechem.
[The father] must hate sin with a perfect hatred and seek above everything to remove and keep it out of his home. (Murray, 21) Being faithful to God and a blessing to your family means that a man might, at times, have to make some hard and unpopular decisions. When I gave the charge to my future son-in-law at he and our oldest daughters wedding, I reminded him how much my wife and I love Julie, and then urged him to be sure to love God more than he loved Julie. I said, If you love God more than you love Julie, then we are confident you will protect her, guide her, and shepherd her in ways that will make her more godly and that will build deeper unity in your marriage.
GENESIS 47:10 So Jacob blessed Pharaoh [not the Pharaoh of Moses day, but the on e who raised up Joseph], and went out from before Pharaoh.
Our children should be raised with a deep conviction that as they walk with God in faith and obedience, and are prepared and committed to speaking to others about the true God, that they will become a blessing to the world. This conviction runs contrary to what we often see and feel, but it is true we and our children, through Jesus our Lord, are the way the world will be blessed. Pharaohs and other rulers and all the people of the earth must find blessing in the one true God and through his church. This should not make us proud but should instead humble us and cause us to cry out to God for the grace to be faithful. (Jacobs journey from fleshly self -will and false confidence to humble confidence in Gods grace and calling illustrates this for us.)
EXODUS 10:1-2 Then the Lord said to Moses, Go to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart and the hearts of his officials so that I may perform these miraculous signs of mine among them that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I dealt harshly with the Egyptians and how I performed my signs among them, and that you may know that I am the Lord.
So one of the reasons God works certain ways is to give us signs to tell to our children and grandchildren so that they will know that He is the Lord. We must be faithful as parents and grandparents to communicate this heritage, both from Scripture and from our own lives. Every new day, every new experience, and every new challenge presents us with new ways to teach our children of Gods faithfulness. The Bible stresses the direct connection between faithful nurture, instruction of the children of the church, and the awakening and growth of spiritual life within them. We as parents are the divine instrumentality by which the promises of God to be the God of our children is fulfilled. (Skogan, 11)
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EXODUS 10:7-9 Then Pharaoh's servants said to him, "How long shall this man be a snare to us? Let the men go, that they may serve the LORD their God. Do you not yet know that Egypt is destroyed?" So Moses and Aaron were brought again to Pharaoh, and he said to them, "Go, serve the LORD your God. Who are the ones that are going?" And Moses said, "We will go with our young and our old; with our sons and our daughters, with our flocks and our herds we will go, for we must hold a feast to the LORD."
Moses understood that Gods people could not properly hold a feast to the Lord without the presence and participation of the children.
EXODUS 12:24-27 "And you shall observe this thing as an ordinance for you and your sons forever. It will come to pass when you come to the land which the LORD will give you, just as He promised, that you shall keep this service. And it shall be, when your children say to you, 'What do you mean by this service?' that you shall say, 'It is the Passover sacrifice of the LORD, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt when He struck the Egyptians and delivered our households.'"
Every new situation was a chance to build memories into the hearts and minds of the children in order that they would grow up knowing who they were and Whose they were, and that all of this was by the grace and might of Yahweh, their covenant God.
EXODUS 12:47 All the congregation of Israel shall keep [the Passover].
This would imply the children as well. As noted above in Exodus 10:7-9, it would have been inconceivable to hold a covenant feast to God without the presence and participation of the children. It was vital that they grow up with an established identity as one of Gods people, saved by grace, and saved for service.
EXODUS 15:1-4A Then Moses and the children of Israel sang this song to the Lord, and spoke, saying: "I will sing to the Lord, For He has triumphed gloriously! The horse and its rider He has thrown into the sea! The Lord is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation; He is my God, and I will praise Him; My father's God, and I will exalt Him. The Lord is a man of war; The Lord is His name. Pharaoh's chariots and his army He has cast into the sea;
My (quite feminine) nine year old daughter said to me one day, I like thinking about the fact that God smashes all those who stand against him. I was encouraged to hear her say that for a number of reasons: 1) this will strengthen her against the fear of man and will strengthen her for godly ambition; 2) she will be more prepared to see God as a warrior who can overcome the pharaoh like oppressions of her sin and the sin of others; 3) it prepares her to want to be married to a man who will be a fighter for God and for his family. Dads and Moms should be leading their children in hearty songs of deliverance and victory. This will prepare them to know that God confronts all the false gods and arrogant rulers of this world and will day vanquish all that do not bow the knee to King Jesus.
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EXODUS 19:5-6 Now therefore, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be a special treasure to Me above all people; for all the earth is Mine. And you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.' These are the words which you shall speak to the children of Israel."
Peter, alluding to these verses, tells the New Testament believers that now, through Christ, that You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people (I Pete r 2:9). Peter wants to be sure that those believers understand what God, through Moses, wanted Israel to understand: that He owns the earth (the earth is Mine) but that we are the called of God to bring Gods royal presence (kingdom of priests or royal priesthood) to all the nations. Speak such words to your children every day of their life and in every sphere of activity and influence; be sure to show them that this is the way you think and how you invest your own life and resources. Once again, What is the Bible and history about? Answer: God makes all things, then through Jesus, the seed of Abraham and David, and through the Holy Spirit, defeats sin and death and brings creation to rest as he (1) claims, cleanses, and blesses his people as a holy nation and royal priesthood; (2) brings his heavenly glory and rule to earth by making the world his holy temple-city; (3) and judges all that stands against him. Our God reigns! One day my son, Beau, told me about an incident in school in which one of the other boys had quit a touch football game during break because the other boys were ridiculing him. As the boy walked off Beau decided to go over and encourage him. The other boys starting telling Beau to forget it about and come back to the game. But Beau told me, Even as they yelled at me I knew God wanted me to ignore them and go talk to the other kid, even if the other guys thought I was being silly. I told him that by doing this he was becoming a young man who really understood his calling as a Christian to be an example to others of living his life for God and it would enable him to be a true blessing to others.
EXODUS 20:5-6 You shall not bow down to [idols] or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
For the sake of the next generation, we must learn to uncover and hate the idols in our life ones of money, reputation, the approval of others, pleasure, entertainment, ease of life, our social life, etc. Gods desire is to bless future generations and not curse since He punishes for three and four generations, but he shows love to a thousand!
EXODUS 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. (See Ephesians 6:2-3)
The fifth commandment is foundational for the commandments that follow and is thus the basis for a ordered and God-honoring community and society. In the broader context of Exodus, it is foundational for the establishment of Gods kingdom of priests and holy nation through which His name will be exalted among the nations and His light will be seen. Honoring others is one of the foundation stones of a noble character and holy life. Parents should study how they can train their children to fulfill this commandment. . . The responsibility of training the child to obey is given to the parent. All memories of happiness and love in the childs home life must be linked with
14 obedience. The parents can do this working these principles into the childs mind and heart, not so much by instruction or reasoning, as by training and securing the habit of obedience . . . (Murray, 80-82) We, as parents, most emphatically, do not deserve honor (if you think you do, you need to be quickly and deeply reminded your sin and of Gods mercy and grace). Nonetheless, we call our children to honor us, and train them to do it, because it is crucial, negatively, for protection of their heart and positively, to grow in freedom to obey God.
EXODUS 21:15,17 Anyone who attacks his father or mother must be put to death. . .Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death. (Also see Dt 21:18-21; 27:16; Prov. 30:17; Matt 15:4.)
God obviously considered such behavior and attitudes deeply destructive to these children and to Gods people as a whole.
LEVITICUS 19:32 Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere the Lord your God. I am the Lord your God.
Respect for the elderly is explicitly linked to revering God. If we want our children to revere God, we must battle their tendency (ours as well!) to make their generation the one that matters, the one that is really special and unique, the one that has the real answers. By Gods grace, and through our example and teaching, they should learn respect.
NUMBERS 16:26-32 He warned the assembly, "Move back from the tents of these wicked men! Do not touch anything belonging to them, or you will be swept away because of all their sins." So they moved away from the tents of Korah, Dathan and Abiram. Dathan and Abiram had come out and were standing with their wives, children and little ones at the entrances to their tents. Then Moses said, "This is how you will know that the LORD has sent me to do all these things and that it was not my idea: If these men die a natural death and experience only what usually happens to men, then the LORD has not sent me. But if the LORD brings about something totally new, and the earth opens its mouth and swallows them, with everything that belongs to them, and they go down alive into the grave, then you will know that these men have treated the LORD with contempt." As soon as he finished saying all this, the ground under them split apart and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them, with their households and all Korah's men and all their possessions.
So these men, through their rebellious attitude, brought judgment upon all in their household.
NUMBER 30 Then Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes of the sons of Israel, saying, "This is the word which the LORD has commanded. If a man makes a vow to the LORD, or takes an oath to bind himself with a binding obligation, he shall not violate his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. Also if a woman makes a vow to the LORD, and binds herself by an obligation in her father's house in her youth, and her father hears her vow and her obligation by which she has bound herself, and her father says nothing to her, then all her vows shall stand, and every obligation by which she has bound herself shall stand.
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But if her father should forbid her on the day he hears of it, none of her vows or her obligations by which she has bound herself shall stand; and the LORD will forgive her because her father had forbidden her. However, if she should marry while under her vows or the rash statement of her lips by which she has bound herself, and her husband hears of it and says nothing to her on the day he hears it, then her vows shall stand and her obligations by which she has bound herself shall stand. But if on the day her husband hears of it, he forbids her, then he shall annul her vow which she is under and the rash statement of her lips by which she has bound herself; and the LORD will forgive her. But the vow of a widow or of a divorced woman, everything by which she has bound herself, shall stand against her. However, if she vowed in her husband's house, or bound herself by an obligation with an oath, and her husband heard it, but said nothing to her and did not forbid her, then all her vows shall stand, and every obligation by which she bound herself shall stand. But if her husband indeed annuls them on the day he hears them, then whatever proceeds out of her lips concerning her vows or concerning the obligation of herself, shall not stand; her husband has annulled them, and the LORD will forgive her. Every vow and every binding oath to humble herself, her husband may confirm it or her husband may annul it. But if her husband indeed says nothing to her from day to day, then he confirms all her vows or all her obligations which are on her; he has confirmed them, because he said nothing to her on the day he heard them. But if he indeed annuls them after he has heard them, then he shall bear her guilt. These are the statutes which the LORD commanded Moses, as between a man and his wife, and as between a father and his daughter, while she is in her youth in her father's house.
A Christian husband must, then, before the Lord, renew and make some basic covenantal commitments . . .He will not place any responsibility for the spiritual, emotional, physical and financial condition of his household on his parents, wife, children, church, or society. He will assume, before the Lord, all responsibility for the home he represents before God, and he will pray for the grace to stand. ( Douglas Wilson, from Embarrassed Men, in Credenda, Volume 6, Number 1)
NUMBERS 26:52-56 Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: "To these the land shall be divided as an inheritance, according to the number of names. To a large tribe you shall give a larger inheritance, and to a small tribe you shall give a smaller inheritance. Each shall be given its inheritance according to those who were numbered of them. But the land shall be divided by lot; they shall inherit according to the names of the tribes of their fathers. According to the lot their inheritance shall be divided between the larger and the smaller."
As far as we know, under the Canaanite system, all land was owned by the local kings or lords in each city. The rest of the population lived as peasant-tenants on land not their own, paying taxes and serving in the kings army. Israel was to be different . . . the purpose [of this division] seems clear: that each tribe, clan and family should have sufficient land according to its size and needs. Land tenure was to be fair and distributed not concentrated in the hands of a king or a wealth few (Wright, OT Ethics, 157). So the economic structure of Israel was set up to promote household identity, stability, and responsibility within the broader identity as Gods covenant people. This is Gods wisdom that helps us see the tragedy of community and government programs especially ones that spurn private property and force redistribution in a top-down manner - that destroy family identity, stability, and responsibility, even if those who implement them are well-meaning. We must also factor into this the Christian responsibility of those households to voluntarily and sacrificially care for those around them (and not selfishly insist on their rights to their stuff). These are exciting and challenging creational and redemptive issues that, in view of our responsibility to be a blessing to our community and nation, should be discussed and applied regularly in the church and home.
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DEUTERONOMY 4:9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
Teaching our children Gods ways starts with Dad and Mom keeping Gods ways before their own eyes and heart on a daily basis. Are you doing that? The devil hath a great spite at the kingdom of Christ, and he knoweth no such compendious way to crush it in the egg, as by the perversion of youth, and supplanting family-duties. . . A family is the seminary of the Church and State; and if children be not well principled there, all miscarrieth: a fault in the first concoction is not mended in the second; if youth be bred ill in the family, they prove ill at Church and Commonwealth; there is the first making or marring, and the presage of their future lives to be thence taken. (Manton, 7)
DEUTERONOMY 4:40 Keep his decrees and commands, which I am giving you today, so that it may go well with you and your children after you and that you may live long in the land your God gives you for all time.
So one motive for obedience to God is a desire for it to go well with our children and their children. Think of the strength the body of Christ would have if she had only kept her children, and they grew to become seasoned warriors for the King as the Scripture says ought to be the case! (Skogan, 2)
DEUTERONOMY 6:1-9 These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Also 11:16-21 for diligent teaching so as to avoid being enticed to other gods; Eph. 6:4 for NT echo.)
We all know that instruction has little influence on the children when given by an apathetic teacher. It is only the heart that captures the heart of another . . . When the work of instructing the children becomes a burden, you may be sure it is an indication of something wrong with your own heart. (Murray, 87,88) The picture is of a parent who with remarkable diligence and great affection teaches the truth of God to his children until they understand it. It is a pouring out of our lives in the nurturing of our children until they can stand on their own, and be counted as warriors in the kingdom of God. It is night and day, day and night, questions, prayer, love and concern for spiritual vitality in the life of our children. (Skogan, 40)
17 Gods Plan is accomplished over generations through heart-level relationships that are nurtured in everyday life. . . ministry confined to church buildings is too restrictive. The limitless opportunities afforded by everyday life are the best venue for ministry. The home is the primary place where real-life ministry exists. (Wallace, 102) Spiritual equipping in the home helps to prevent one of the greatest curses of the modern American church; namely, the compartmentalization of our faith. Children who encounter Christianity only a couple of hours out of the week and only within the four walls of a church building will likely grow up to believe that their faith is only one segment of their lives that need not (or cannot) permeate all aspects of their lives. Such children may well make Jesus Lord of their Sunday mornings - while he desires to be Lord of their entire lives. Spiritual equipping in the home allows your children to meet Jesus where they live and in what they do. (Ken Canfield from 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers, as quoted in Ptacek, 70) Parents who walk along the road teaching Gods decrees will have discussions in the car, at the dinner table, and in the normal flow of life about things like forgiving others, about turning from gossip, being honest in business dealings, respecting bosses who frustrate you, using your money wisely, not being greedy, caring for the poor, having grateful attitudes, how to overcome pride, and averting your eyes from impurity. You will naturally and normally discuss Gods wisdom in politics, entrepreneurshi p, music, dance, sports, marriage, parenting, urban development, race relations, false religions, and every other aspect of life. You are to teach your children to love the Lord their God with all their heart and all their souls and all their strength. God is quite clear that this is made easier if you love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and strength. And act like you do. (Lucas, 64) In Deuteronomy 6:2, we read that God specifically tells parents that their responsibility extends to the third generation. . . Having a long term perspective is crucial to raising children for at least two reasons. First, without it many parents surely give up. Second, to produce faithful generations requires us to be oriented to the future anticipating ho w our lives can benefit Gods work in the future. It will be difficult to expect our children to have a hopeful vision for the future if we dont ourselves. Short term thinking is a perfect set up for failure. God continually reminds us to have our eyes on the future. (Wallace, 62)
DEUTERONOMY 6:20-25 "When your son asks you in time to come, saying, 'What is the meaning of the testimonies, the statutes, and the judgments which the LORD our God has commanded you?' then you shall say to your son: 'We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, and the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand; and the LORD showed signs and wonders before our eyes, great and severe, against Egypt, Pharaoh, and all his household. Then He brought us out from there, that He might bring us in, to give us the land of which He swore to our fathers. 'And the LORD commanded us to observe all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that He might preserve us alive, as it is this day. Then it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to observe all these commandments before the LORD our God, as He has commanded us.'
Gods people were to constantly be attentive to the ways that every aspect of the life and law God had given them was to be taught to the children. This life and law was always to be taught as a response to Gods gracious deliverance and claiming of His people. And our children should be taught that they are part of the we and us of Gods people. One of my favorite moments in talking with my children is when they ask me how they can escape some sin. Dad, how can I not get angry at my sister? Dad, how can I walk away from a conversation when I know the person will be offended? How can I not give into impurity? How can I avoid pride? The sharper they feel the tension, the better, as this opens their heart to hear that God delivers them from
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slavery from sin through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ in order to make them slaves of His (read Romans 6 with this in mind!).
DEUTERONOMY 7:9 Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments.
Because God does not change over generations, He can sustain the descendants of His servants. But this is not merely a statement about Gods abilities; it is a promise concerning His intentions. (Wilson, Standing, 22) Dad and Mom must start and end every day deeply moved by how faithful and merciful God is. This should be woven deeply into the fabric of their relationship with each other, with the children, and with others. It should lead to deep repentance, openness about, and no excuses for sin, and great hope and joy in Gods strength to enable us to bounce back from failure and move ahead with confidence and service.
DEUTERONOMY 8:11 . . . 18-19 When you have eaten and are full, then you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land which He has given you . . . And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day. Then it shall be, if you by any means forget the Lord your God, and follow other gods, and serve them and worship them, I testify against you this day that you shall surely perish.
We and our children have been given the good land of responsibility for Gods world through the authority and glory of the risen Lord Jesus Christ. We should raise our children to possess this inheritance in all walks of life, which always brings dangers of becoming prideful and worldly. The crucial factor in avoiding that is gratefulness and thankfulness which receives all opportunities as gifts from God to be received as stewards for him, just as Israel was to do with the land. If our children do well in school, or sports, or the arts, or socially, or ministry, or in any other realm of life we must lovingly, patiently, and prayerfully teach them, again and again, to bless the Lord your God for all of this and know that it is God who grants these abilities and opportunities for His sake.
DEUTERONOMY 12:5-7, 17-18 "But you shall seek the place where the LORD your God chooses, out of all your tribes, to put His name for His dwelling place; and there you shall go. There you shall take your burnt offerings, your sacrifices, your tithes, the heave offerings of your hand, your vowed offerings, your freewill offerings, and the firstborn of your herds and flocks. And there you shall eat before the LORD your God, and you shall rejoice in all to which you have put your hand, you and your households, in which the LORD your God has blessed you. . . . You may not eat within your gates the tithe of your grain or your new wine or your oil, of the firstlings of your herd or your flock, of any of your offerings which you vow, of your freewill offerings, or of the heave offering of your hand. But you must eat them before the LORD your God in the place which the LORD your God chooses, you and your son and your daughter, your male servant and your female servant, and the Levite who is within your gates; and you shall rejoice before the LORD your God in all to which you put your hands.
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DEUTERONOMY 14:26 "And you shall spend that money for whatever your heart desires: for oxen or sheep, for wine or similar drink, for whatever your heart desires; you shall eat there before the LORD your God, and you shall rejoice, you and your household. DEUTERONOMY 15:19-20 All the firstborn males that come from your herd and your flock you shall sanctify to the LORD your God; you shall do no work with the firstborn of your herd, nor shear the firstborn of your flock. You and your household shall eat it before the LORD your God year by year in the place which the LORD chooses. DEUTERONOMY 16:10-11 "Then you shall keep the Feast of Weeks to the LORD your God with the tribute of a freewill offering from your hand, which you shall give as the LORD your God blesses you. You shall rejoice before the LORD your God, you and your son and your daughter, your male servant and your female servant, the Levite who is within your gates, the stranger and the fatherless and the widow who are among you, at the place where the LORD your God chooses to make His name abide.
Those who were in your household were always invited to be a part of the great feasts and celebrations of Gods provision and mercy. After all, so much of the thrust of these feast s was the heritage, promises, and calling being passed down to future generations. It is unfortunate that so much of contemporary church life and worship divides generations within the household.
DEUTERONOMY 22:5 A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.
God makes clear distinctions between men and women and wants that reflected in day to day life in such things as clothing. To defy these distinctions is to defy God. We must train our children to humbly but firmly know and pursue Gods wisdom on these issues as gender confusion and rebellion explodes all around them and us.
DEUTERONOMY 29:9-15, 29 Carefully follow the terms of this covenant, so that you may prosper in everything you do. All of you are standing today in the presence of the Lord your God - your leaders and chief men, your elders and officials, and all the other men of Israel, together with your children and your wives, and the aliens living in your camps who chop your wood and carry your water. You are standing here in order to enter into a covenant with the Lord your God, a covenant the Lord is making with you this day and sealing with an oath, to confirm you this day as his people, that he may be your God as he promised you and as he swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I am making this covenant, with its oath, not only with you who are standing here with us today in the presence of the Lord our God but also with those who are not here today. . .The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children, that we may follow all the words of this law.
In the Mosaic administration of the covenant of grace, Gods redemptive purpose included individual men and their households (including the little ones) . . . (Booth, 41) A cursory reading of Scripture shows that when God calls His people together, He includes the men, women, and children. (Pullen, 9)
20 Those who are not here today the reference is not to those who could not be present for some reason such as ill health. The reference to future generations impressed even more firmly the responsibility incumbent on those who were present on the plains of Moab, for not only their own future, but also the future of their posterity would be contingent upon their obedience to the law of the covenant. (P.C. Craigie, Deuteronomy, NICOT, p. 357-58) This Old Testament assembly is the background for the New Testament church coming together (I Corinthians 5:4, 11:17, 20; 14:26) and assembly (Heb 10:25). So when we do come together in weekly assembly we should be acutely aware of the those who are not here today and how our wo rship, faith, and repentance will effect them.
DEUTERONOMY 30:6 (Moses describes what God will do in salvation in the days after He has brought judgment on Israel for their anticipated rebellion) The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live.
As we will see when we come to the OT prophets, this passage would be foundational for the prophets when they would later speak about Gods restoration and transformation of His people on the other side of the judgment that Moses here speaks about. In those later anticipations the prophets would often speak about how Gods transformation would include, indeed would especially include, blessings upon the descendants. Also note that Paul refers to Deut 30:6 as being fulfilled in the new covenant brought about through Jesus death and resurrection: For he is not a Jew who is one outwardly, nor is circumcision that which is outward in the flesh; but he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the Spirit, not in the letter; whose praise is not from men but from God. (Romans 2:28-29) God shows His commitment to raising up godly descendants at every point and in every phase of His work in raising up a holy people. It is vital that we have this same commitment and, taking hold of Gods provision and promises, act on it with all diligence and faithfulness. I recall numerous occasions where one of my children would say to me, Dad, I know you want me to be kind [or forgiving, or generous] to my [brother or sister], but somehow I just cant do it. We would then talk about how this kind of radical love and faithfulness is truly a gift from God, granted through Jesus.
DEUTERONOMY 31:12-13 (Moses telling told the Israelite leaders what they must do when they get in the Promised Land) Assemble the people - men, women and children, and the aliens living in your towns - so they can listen and learn to fear the Lord your God and follow carefully all the words of this law. Their children, who do not know this law, must hear it and learn to fear the Lord your God as long as you live in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess.
Simply stated, I believe that God invites the covenantal community, which is composed of believing families, to worship Him. To encourage parents to be separate, in any form, from their children during corporate worship is a violation of Gods Word . . . To have childrens church, even if it is voluntary, easily implies that the children are not members of Christs Church. (Pullen, 8) We should not shy away from calling our children (and ourselves) to fear the Lord. This is a gift of gospel grace and is crucial for our calling to live in the land. A good deal of contemporary church, both mainline churches and even increasingly in evangelical circles, embrace a truncated and unbiblical view of grace that has no place for fear us fearing God (see Jer 32:38-39; Phil 2:12; Heb 12:28-29; I Peter 1:16-19), our children learning to fear God from our example, or the world fearing us as we fear God (see Ex 15:15-16; 23:27; Deut 2:25; 11:25; Josh 2:9-11; Acts 2:42; 5:11; 19:17). A true and full
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doctrine of biblical grace leads to us fearing God for our sake, for the sake of our children, and for the sake of the world learning where true blessing is found (see Egyptians that feared the God of Israel and joined Israel in leaving; or Rahab who was terrorized by Israel and their God and found salvation in turning to them for blessing Josh 2:9-11). The fear of the Lord flows from grace and points the way to blessing! (Beale, 58).
DEUTERONOMY 32:45-46 When Moses finished reciting all these words to all Israel, he said to them, Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law.
The worldview of our culture often leads us to be uncomfortable with commanding our children. We should receive Gods Word and resist this unbiblical worldview. To command our children is rooted in us being humble subjects to Gods command and is crucial for protecting our children and helping them be wise. A father should always lead his family in being gathered with the visible community of Gods people and help them see that He is accountable himself to visible men imperfect though they are. Plus, parental teaching in the home should be, first of all, the application and continuation of the presentation of Gods word that is heard and grasped in the visible assembly. Fathers who distance themselves from church authority sow seeds of pride and rebellion in the hearts of their children.
JOSHUA 4:5-7 (Joshuas instructions to the people to build a memorial, as God had commanded, to commemorate the crossing of the Jordan River) Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of Israelites, to serve as sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, What do these stones mean? tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.
God never lets Israel miss a chance to communicate His mighty works down through the generations. We should, every day, be creatively looking for opportunities to memorialize Gods faithfulness to claim us, cleanse us, provide for us, and empower us in His purposes.
JOSHUA 7:15, 22-25 (After Israels defeat at Ai, God reveals to Joshua that someone had violated Gods command and had taken plunder from Jericho. Joshua now leads the people in dealing with this sin) He who is caught with the devoted things shall be destroyed by fire, along with all that belongs to him. He has violated the covenant of the LORD and has done a disgraceful thing in Israel!. . .(After they have discovered that the violator was Achan) Joshua sent messengers, and they ran to the tent, and there it was, hidden in his tent, with the silver underneath. They took the things from the tent, brought them to Joshua and all the Israelites and spread them out before the LORD. Then Joshua, together with all Israel, took Achan son of Zerah, the silver, the robe, the gold wedge, his sons and daughters, his cattle, donkeys and sheep, his tent and all that he had, to the Valley of Achor. Joshua said, "Why have you brought this trouble on us? The LORD will bring trouble on you today." Then all Israel stoned him, and after they had stoned the rest, they burned them.
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Achan brings judgment upon his whole household by his disobedience. Remember this, fathers, when you consider sin that you think can be done in secret.
JOSHUA 8:34-35 Afterward, Joshua read all the words of the law - the blessings and the curses - just as it is written in the Book of the Law. There was not a word of all that Moses had commanded that Joshua did not read to the whole assembly of Israel, including the women and children, and the aliens who lived among them. (This was done in obedience to what had been commanded in Deut 31:12-13, above.)
The assembly included the woman and children. Since the family, as ordained by God, is the basic institution in society, and God in the Covenant graciously deals with us, not just as individuals but also as families, it is important and desirable that families worship together. (Section 49-4 of the Book of Church Order of the Presbyterian Church in America)
JOSHUA 24:15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.
If men become men, the world will change. (Crabb, 36) Here is a man who understands Gods structuring of households, of church life, and of life in general. His commitment is not just sentimental or inspiring. Rather, it is eminently appropriate and shows his grasp of Gods purposes and responsibilities. Let each believing parent take Joshuas words - first in the depth of his own soul, then in fellowship with spouse and children. The more we speak it out in prayer and conversation - our house is and must be holy to the Lord, and our children must be trained first of all for God and His service - the more mightily will the power of the principle assert itself and help us so to guide the household that it, too, serve the Lord. (Murray, 91-92) In the home, one of the most important ways a man can sacrifice his own interests is through providing the leadership which the family needs from him. In this context, a servants h eart does not drift about, saying, Gosh, I dont know. What do you want to do? (Wilson, Hard and Soft, in Credenda/Agenda, Vol. 7, No. 2) Masculinity means initiation. To be masculine is to take initiate. To provide direction, security, stability, and order. To lead. To head. To husband. Masculinity means initiation. (Nowhere does it mean bossy. . .) (Weber, 45) The measure of a man is the spiritual and emotional health of his family. A real provider has a vision for a marriage that bonds deeply, for sons with character as strong as trees, and for daughters with confidence and deep inner beauty. Without that vision and leadership, a family struggles, gropes, and may lose its way. (Weber, 26) But harmony in the home depends upon a biblical masculinity, which provides the strength of that covenant commitment. At the center of each home should be a dependable man, a godly husband to the wife, and an immovable rock of a father for the children. (Hagopian, 197)
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JUDGES 4:8-9 [After the word of the Lord came through Deborah to Barak, telling him to defeat Jabins army which oppressed the Israelites and kill Jabins commander, Sisera] Barak said to her, If you go with me, I will go; but if you dont go with me, I wont go. Very well, D eborah said, I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, the honor will not be yours, for the Lord will hand Sisera over to a woman.
I am convinced that the primary cause of this national crisis is the feminization of the American male. When I say feminization, I am not talking about sexual preference. Im trying to describe a misunderstanding of manhood that has produced a nation of sissified men who abdicate their role as spiritually pure leaders, thus forcing women to fill the vacuum. (Tony Evans, as quoted in Hagopian, 51) The need of the hour is masculine confidence; we need men with backbone. And what do we have? We have men off in the corner, moaning and whining about their childhoods, keening over long-remembered hurts, snuffling about aimlessly, and getting in touch with their own personal selves. Modern man is off looking for a mommy. . . (Hagopian, 59) The church must recapture the biblical gospel which engages the whole of a man to the whole of life in the warrior like pursuit of the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. We were watching a Disney movie when a standard Disney villain came on the screen. My second son, then four years old, picked up a plastic sword and moved to the screen as if to protect his Mom and sisters. Joy, my wife, said, Hunter, you are so strong! Thank you for protecting us! Im so glad that was his instinct and her instinct. We should diligently teach our sons that they are to be protectors of their mothers and sisters. The flip side is that we must utterly reject the notion that it is ok for brothers to pick on sisters. Yes, it is normal, but it is wrong and ungodly and Gods people should aspire to a higher standard through Christ our King and Protector.
1 SAMUEL 1:27-28 "For this child I [Hannah] prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. Therefore I also have lent him to the LORD; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the LORD." So they worshiped the LORD there.
Because I am naturally inclined to forget [that the child is Gods to begin with], to love a nd treat the child as if he were mine alone, I count it a precious privilege, a distinct act of surrender, to give him to the Lord all the days of his life . . . It is not only for Gods sake that I give my child to the Lord, it is for his sake too. The more I love him, the more eagerly I give him to God . . . The child I give to God becomes doubly my own. I can love him with a more intense and holy love. I can hold him without fear of losing him . . . Even if we dont often say it in words, [the child] should know by our relationship with him that he has been given to God. Let him know that this is the reason we cannot give in to his will or allow sin to take control - we have a charge from God to train him for the kingdom . . . By our life and prayer and education make the child know that he is the Lords. (Murray, 100-102)
1 SAMUEL 3:13 (See 2:12-17, 29 for background) For I told [Eli] that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them.
Our culture does not like authority. It is not just that we dont like to be under authority, we dont like being authorities. One of the places where this is most clearly seen is in our discomfort with authority in the home. (Tripp, 46)
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Let me now therefore, once more, before I finally cease to speak to this congregation, repeat, and earnestly press the counsel which I have often urged on the heads of families, while I was their pastor, to great painfulness in teaching, warning, and directing their children; bringing them up in the training and admonition of the Lord; beginning early, where there is yet opportunity, and maintaining constant diligence in labours of this kind. Remember that, as you would not have all your instructions and counsels ineffectual, there must be government as well as instructions, which must be maintained with an even hand, and steady resolution, as a guard to the religion and morals of the family, and the support of its good order. Take heed that it be not with any of you as it was with Eli of old, who reproved his children, but restrained them not; and that, by this means, you do not bring the life curse on your families as he did on his. (Jonathon Edwards in his Farewell sermon at Northampton, as quoted in Ptacek, 55) Families are societies that must be sanctified to God as well as Churches; and the governors of them have as truly a charge of the souls that are therein, as pastors have of the Churches. But, alas, how little is this considered or regarded! But while negligent ministers are (deservedly) cast out of their places, the negligent masters of families take themselves to be almost blameless. (Manton, 8)
1 SAMUEL 8:1-9 And it came about when Samuel was old that he appointed his sons judges over Israel. Now the name of his first-born was Joel, and the name of his second, Abijah; they were judging in Beersheba. His sons, however, did not walk in his ways, but turned aside after dishonest gain and took bribes and perverted justice. Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah; and they said to him, "Behold, you have grown old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now appoint a king for us to judge us like all the nations." But the thing was displeasing in the sight of Samuel when they said, "Give us a king to judge us." And Samuel prayed to the LORD. And the LORD said to Samuel, "Listen to the voice of the people in regard to all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me from being king over them. Like all the deeds which they have done since the day that I brought them up from Egypt even to this day-- in that they have forsaken Me and served other gods-- so they are doing to you also. Now then, listen to their voice; however, you shall solemnly warn them and tell them of the procedure of the king who will reign over them."
Throughout his life, Samuel wandered hither and yon, weaving a social and political fabric impervious to the rending attacks of lawlessness, godlessness, and truthlessness. He poured himself into this work to the exclusion of all else - only to discover late in life that his sorely neglected family was unraveling his every stitch. He was chagrined to discover that the important things in life were overtaken by the trivial and, subsequently, tragically subdued. Matters of great consequence were subverted by matters of little consequence. Samuel learned too late that families are the primary agents of stability in society. Not judges, not constitutions, not manifestos, not prophets, not bureaucrats, not kings, not First Ladies and their imagined villages - but families. When the family fails to undertakes its task, the entire social and political system suffers. (Grant, 6).
2 SAMUEL 7:12-14 [Nathan said to King David] "When your days are fulfilled and you rest with your fathers, I will set up your seed after you, who will come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom. 13 He shall build a house for My name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. 14 I will be his Father, and he shall be My son. If he commits iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men and with the blows of the sons of men.
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As we saw from Genesis 1, the Bible is about God creating heaven and earth and then bringing heaven and earth together in redeeming love and power. His promises/relationships with Adam, Noah, Abraham, and Moses were all steps forward in this sovereign commitment. Now he lays the next building block with his covenant with King David, a covenant that will shape and drive the rest of the OT work and expectations. Gods promise to David explodes into the NT through Jesus, Israels true and faithful King and now the King of the nations: The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the Son of David (Matthew 1:1) And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call his name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will no end (Luke 1:31-33) And that He raised him from the dead, no more to return to corruption. He has spoken thus: I will give you the sure mercies of David [Isaiah 55:3]. Therefore He also says in another Psalm: You will not allow Your holy One to see corruption [Psalm 16:10; a Psalm expressing Davids confidence in resurrection life]. For David, after he had served his own generation by the will of God, fell asleep, was buried with his fathers, and saw corruption; but He whom God raised up saw no corruption. (Acts 13:34-37) Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated to the gospel of God which He promised before through His prophets in the Holy Scriptures, concerning His Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who was born of the seed of David according to the flesh, and declared to the be the Son of God with power according to the Spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead. Through Him we have received grace and apostleship for obedience to the faith among all nations for His name (Romans 1:1-5) When my oldest child was about eight, I had an oh, wow moment at the dinner table as we talked about their relationships with each other (stop accusing, be humble, dont threaten to take your siblings life, etc). I had been thinking about Jesus as the Davidic King and how we are people called to display that Kingship, so I told them, You know, its really simple. Jesus is our King and the world needs to see what order, love, justice, and goodness is brought about through His reign. The way you love, forgive, and care for each other, the way you respect Mom and me, all of that is a way of saying, Jesus is King! We are giving the world hope by showing that He is loving and powerful enough to change us so that they can believe that He can change them as well as being warned that he will, in judgment, enforce submission on those who refuse his will.
2 SAMUEL 12:11A (Nathan confronting King David about his sins of adultery and murder) This is what the Lord says: Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. (See the results Amnon rapes Tamar, Absalom kills Amnon then rebels against David, etc.)
There are few things more tragic than the grief of a parent recognizing the way their own bad choices have effected their children in destructive ways. God can certainly forgive, but many consequences remain. [Speaking of life in Reformation Europe] The man of the house was expected to be steady, a model of selfcontrol, and able to moderate his own appetites and drives; otherwise he could not successfully command those around him to moderate theirs. (Ozment, 50)
1 KINGS 1:5-6 (This takes place in the last days of King Davids life) Now Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, put himself forward and said, "I will be king." So he got chariots and horses
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ready, with fifty men to run ahead of him. (His father had never interfered with him by asking, "Why do you behave as you do?" He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom.)
Adonijah wanted to be king. But why? His father David had failed him; he had not said no to his son at any time. Adonijah eventually lost his life because of David s negligence. We see this same sort of indulgence with Absalom. After Davids death, Solomon, Davids successor, had to put Adonijah to death because he was still scheming for the throne. David will be in heaven; he was a man after Gods heart. But he was not the kind of father he should have been, and some of his children will not be there with him. (Wilson, Standing, 70) How tragic; David was used mightily by God in doing the big things like winning wars and running the nation. But he neglected his children. How many men and women have made this same choice, and had to live with regrets too deep for words? How many have even done this through devoting themselves to ministry and church work while they neglected to know, address, and gain their childrens hearts? Since the home was the nursery of nation and church, the parent (notably the father) who permitted children to do as they pleased brutalizes human nature, dishonors God, subverts the principles of constitutional society. . . and overthrows both church and state. (McDannell, Christian Home, 113; The quote is from James Wood, Household Religion)
I KINGS 8:41-43 (Solomons prayer at the dedication of the temple) "Moreover, concerning a foreigner, who is not of Your people Israel, but has come from a far country for Your name's sake (for they will hear of Your great name and Your strong hand and Your outstretched arm), when he comes and prays toward this temple, hear in heaven Your dwelling place, and do according to all for which the foreigner calls to You, that all peoples of the earth may know Your name and fear You, as do Your people Israel, and that they may know that this temple which I have built is called by Your name.
The temple is the place where heaven comes to earth, where God comes to cleanse and rule his people so that all peoples of the earth may know your name and fear you. Jesus is the temple (John 1:49 -51; 2:1318) and we are the temple through our relationship with him (I Cor 3:16-18; 6:19; 2 Cor 6:16-18; Eph 2:19-22; I Peter 2:4-5). Solomons prayer should move us to humility and a desire to know Gods cleansing and rule so that others will know Gods name (recognize his power, love, and faithfulness) and fear him (joyfully and reverently receive his grace to obey and honor him).
1 KINGS 21:1-7 And it came to pass after these things that Naboth the Jezreelite had a vineyard which was in Jezreel, next to the palace of Ahab king of Samaria. So Ahab spoke to Naboth, saying, "Give me your vineyard, that I may have it for a vegetable garden, because it is near, next to my house; and for it I will give you a vineyard better than it. Or, if it seems good to you, I will give you its worth in money." But Naboth said to Ahab, "The Lord forbid that I should give the inheritance of my fathers to you!" So Ahab went into his house sullen and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him; for he had said, "I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers." And he lay down on his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no food. But Jezebel his wife came to him, and said to him, "Why is your spirit so sullen that you eat no food?" He said to her, "Because I spoke to Naboth the Jezreelite, and said to him, 'Give me your vineyard for money; or else, if it pleases you, I will give you another vineyard for it.' And he answered, 'I will not give you my vineyard.' " Then Jezebel his wife said to him, "You now exercise authority over Israel!
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Arise, eat food, and let your heart be cheerful; I will give you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite."
Naboths response to Ahabs request for his family land was based on Israelite law which was rooted in the land being Gods and in the importance of household stability through private property rights. Jezebel, though, was a Canaanite from the tradition in which the government controlled the land and property. Yahweh was the God who had given Israel their land to be a place where peasant farmers like Naboth could live in security. Ahab and Jezebel in trampling on Naboth had trampled on that principle and replaced with a Canaanite ethos in which a monarch could take what he or she want ed (Christopher Wright, OT Ethics for the People of God, pg 90). Tyrants and elitists, of whatever stripe, always work to destroy families and men as household leaders to open the door for the accumulation of power and the free exercise of their wisdom. The church, when it sees the society around it deemphasizing household identity and stability, must not follow that lead but should firmly resist and stay committed to household life and household leadership. When the church does follow rather than lead on this issue we will end up being deservedly trampled underfoot by tyrants.
2 KINGS 2:23-24 Then [Elisha] went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the Lord. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.
Our children should know, and should warn other youths, that mocking God and mocking his representatives is dangerous business. This is especially important when the culture around us is moving away from the fear of the Lord, as it clearly was in Elishas day.
2 KINGS 17:40-41 They would not listen, however, but persisted in their former practices. Even while these people were worshiping the LORD, they were serving their idols. To this day their children and grandchildren continue to do as their fathers did.
What a sobering assessment! We must learn to hate and turn from our idolatries since we can be assured that they will damage our children and cause problems in their lives. I have often found myself at the check out line with one of my sons when my eye wandered toward one of magazine covers featuring a woman immodestly dressed (to say the least). Im always convicted that not only do I need to not do that when with them, but I also need to not do not with them. That idol and others like it need to be dug up by the very root.
2 CHRONICLES 20:13 All the men of Judah, with their wives and children and little ones, stood there before the Lord.
Chronicles thus teaches us that when Gods people gathered together to worship Him, infants and toddlers gathered with the adults . . .Building upon this Old Testament pattern, the authors of the New Testament expected children to be present in worship. The epistles, for example, were written, in part, to be read during worship. Often, the epistles themselves specifically address children (e.g., Eph. 6:1; Col. 3:20) who were obviously expected to be participating in the worship when these passages were read. (Hagopian, 222-223)
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EZRA 10:1 Now while Ezra was praying and making confession, weeping and prostrating himself before the house of God, a very large assembly, men, women, and children, gathered to him from Israel; for the people wept bitterly.
The children were always included in the life of Gods people.
NEHEMIAH 4:13-14 Therefore I [Nehemiah when faced with threats from Sanballat and the other enemies] stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the o fficials and the rest of the people, Dont be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.
The heart of a warrior is a protective heart. The warrior shields, defends, stands between, and guards. . . Men stand tallest when they are protecting and defending. (Weber, 41) A great need in our day is men who will be angry at the forces that threaten the well-being of their wives and children and who will sacrificially and aggressively take action to protect them. This starts with using the sword of the Spirit against his own sin and patterns that threaten his families well being and weaken his ability to protect from outside attacks. Once about 10 years ago there was a story--you might have read it in your local tabloid, or a supermarket tabloid like the National Enquirer--about an American man and woman who were on their honeymoon in Australia or New Zealand. They were swimming in the ocean, the water chest-high. From nowhere came a shark. The shark went straight for the woman, opened its jaws. Do you know what the man did? He punched the shark in the head. He punched it and punched it again. He did not do brilliant commentary on the shark, he did not share his sensitive feelings about the shark, he did not make wry observations about the shark, he punched the shark in the head. So the shark let go of his wife and went straight for him. And it killed him. The wife survived to tell the story of what her husband had done. He had tried to deck the shark. I told my friends: That's what a wonderful man is, a man who will try to deck the shark. (From Welcome Back, Duke by Peggy Noonan found on www.opinionjournal.com on Oct 12 th, 2002, discussing the reemergence of some aspects of respect for manhood following the Sept 11 terrorist attacks.)
NEHEMIAH 8:13 On the second day of the month, the heads of all the families, along with the priests and the Levites, gathered around Ezra the scribe to give attention to the words of the Law. (See that they came to understand the Feast of Tabernacles and then the men went to the towns and families to organize this celebration according to the instruction they had received.)
A man may not be a vocational theologian, but in his home he must be the resident theologian. (Wilson, 38) There is a tendency for men to either neglect biblical truth and doctrine, or to study it for personal interest or to even impress others. The solution to all of these aberrations is for men to regain an understanding and commitment to their responsibility to teach and lead their families in biblical doctrine and practice. Here we see a great picture of a biblical truth: that households are not independent entities, but instead are to be accountable to, and in submission to, the leaders of a local body. Indeed, men should minister to those in their households first as members of Gods people then as members of a specific household. In
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other words, we shepherd, lead, and love our wives, children, and any others in our household as stewards of, and in accountability to, Gods church. Without this understanding there is a tendency for those with a newly found biblical passion for household life to become independent, and even separatist in their mentality and practice.
JOB 1:5 When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would send and have them [his sons] purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts. This was Jobs regular custom.
The man from Uz [Job] carried his family in his heart. . . Deep in his soul. (Weber, 52) In Gods eyes parents and their children are one. By divine right parents are authorized representatives of their children; they act for them; they engage in spiritual obligations because of them and for them, and also in their name. (Marcel, 117) As the context makes clear, Job was righteous in what he was doing. Not only did Job pray for his children, he did so as their representative. Our modern mentality is that the home is simply a traditional cultural system for organizing roommates. But Job did not pray for his children because he liked them, or because he was close to them. He prayed because he was responsible. (Wilson, Standing, 36)
JOB 29:11-16 Whoever heard me spoke well of me, and those who saw me commended me, because I rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him. The man who was dying blessed me; I made the widow's heart sing. I put on righteousness as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban. I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was a father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger. (Also see Job 31:16-23)
Job was also actively involved in the care and guidance of children beyond the walls of his own home . . . To him, helping the poor and fatherless was part of what it meant to be a man . . . How many of the single mothers of America could use the help of a Job today? And how many of the millions of fatherless children under the age of eighteen could be saved from great harm if there were more men like Job around? (Hardenbrook, 258) God requires you to be a leader in your home. And He demands that you reach out in love to your brothers and the sick and decaying world around you. (From Covenant Household Ministry, an article by Brian Abshire) Here is a true grass roots model of social justice. If followed faithfully in the church, we could say to the governmental and societal leaders who pursue a social justice model of forced redistribution built on provoking envy: Its okay; we are already addressing those issues through our church families in our local communities; we dont need your help. Those who pursue those models would do so anyway (their motives, with occasional exceptions, are more about power than meetings needs anyway), but it would give us credibility for resisting their policies.
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PSALM 8 O Lord, our Lord, How excellent is Your name in all the earth, Who have set Your glory above the heavens! Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength, Because of Your enemies, That You may silence the enemy and the avenger. When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained, What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, And You have crowned him with glory and honor. You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet, All sheep and oxen-- Even the beasts of the field, The birds of the air, And the fish of the sea That pass through the paths of the seas. O Lord, our Lord, How excellent is Your name in all the earth!
Psalm 8 shows David reflecting on Gods call to Adam and mankind from Genesis 1:28-31 and being amazed that humanity would have such a privilege to rule over Gods creation. In Hebrews 2:5-12 we see that Jesus, the Son of David, is the truly righteous one through whom God is fulfilling Psalm 8 and Genesis 1 through the world to come (Hebrews 2:5) that is established now through Jesus suffering and exaltation and will one day be completed. (Paul also alludes to this Psalm in his presentation of Jesus as the Second Adam see I Cor 15:20-28 and the mention of Psalm 8:6 in vv 27). A few things to note in regards to our children: 1. Babes and nursing infants are included in this great work we should teach our children that God will use them to establish Gods righteous rule as a righteous humanity (righteous in Christ), and in particular to silence the enemy and the avenger as they trust in Jesus, suffer joyfully for his name, worship God, and live in obedience to him. We should work and pray to develop in our children a great vision of God using them to establish and reestablish godliness in all areas of life in the art world, various vocations and industries, community relations, ministry to the poor, education, athletics, cultural issues, decorating, fashion, medicine, etc. There are certainly potential snares when we move into the areas of life that the enemy has established a foothold. We and our children should be wise to these snares of pride and worldliness and should be sure our activities and pursuits begin and end in true worship to the Creator and Redeemer who is excellent and glorious (vv 1,8) and who has called us to this holy task.
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All four of my daughters have been ballet dancers, and my wife and I have been involved in supporting the ballet studios and even helped start one. This has given us a great chance to pursue godliness in an area of life often dominated by prima donna attitudes and ballet mom pride. We have struggled and failed at times (I have at times fallen into ballet Dad pride!), but it has been a joy to teach our girls to work hard, be humble, cheer for the success of others, enjoy dance, and give God thanks. As Christians, we should be humble but bold in moving into all areas and arenas of life with a commitment to spreading Gods glory.
PSALM 22:9-10 But You are He who took Me out of the womb; you made Me trust while on My mother's breasts. I was cast upon You from birth. From My mother's womb you have been My God.
We must grasp Gods purpose to include our children in true, though young and still maturing, faith, worship, and usefulness to Him. Gods claims them at the very beginni ng of their lives and our desire should be that their testimony should be that they have always known that our God, Savior, and Master is their God, Savior, and Master.
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PSALM 34:11-14 Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Who is the man who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
Parents need not be afraid of promising their children that all will be well with them if they fear God . . . A very clear testimony is needed to show our children that to do Gods will and serve Him is in itself pure blessing and enjoyment . . . Our personal relationship to God carried out in all our conduct constitutes the fear of the Lord . . . How can the fear of the Lord be taught? Christian parents know the answer: by walking in the fear of the Lord yourself each and every day. (Murray, 115, 116, 117) One of the most important to teach our children the fear of the Lord is through confessing sin when you lose your temper with your children or with your spouse. The fear of the Lord means not saying, Well I should not have gotten angry (irritable, sarcastic, manipulative), but it would have helped if you had not _____ (their provoking behavior or attitude). Rather the fear of the Lord is to say, and mean, My anger and irritation was wrong I turned away from God and sinned against you and there is no excuse for it; please forgive me. You may need to address your spouses or childs sin later; but the fear of the Lord means you first take full responsibility for your sin (read Psalm 51 to get the spirit of such a confession).
PSALM 44:1 We have heard with our ears, O God; our fathers have told us what you did in their days, in days long ago. (See Ex. 10:1-2; 12:24-27; 13:8, 14-16; 31:12-13; Isa. 38:19.)
In his own way, my father helped me begin scanning the horizon when I was just a little boy. If I saw a lot of little bitty print on the pages of the Bible, Dad saw mountain tops. When he prayed out loud, he always thanked God for so great a salvation and for His glorious Plan of the Ages. Now I didnt have an inkling what the Plan of the Ages was all about, but I didnt doubt that there was one, and that it came from the heart of God, . . .and that it was glorious. It made me stand on my tip-toes to peer a little farther and deeper into spiritual mysteries. It brought security to my heart to realize what kind of God I had, this great heavenly Planner who could look down the long ages and bring things to pass. (Weber, 31)
On Fathers Day of 2013 my daughter, Emily, who was a junior in college, wrote a kind tookind post to her Facebook about the things she appreciated about me. One of the things that I most valued in the post was this: You have such a vision for all of life. I love it when you get fired up about the gospel, economics, art, masculinity, the Kingdom of Heaven, etc. You set an example for men and women a like; declaring that is its not only expectable but outstanding to be passionate about all of life.
PSALM 48:12-13 Walk about Zion, go around her, count her towers, consider well her ramparts, view her citadels, that you may tell of them to the next generation.
It is truly amazing to see how much Scripture emphasizes the motive of seeing, receiving, and walking in Gods glory and blessings so that we may bestow them upon the next generation. If we are in sync with Gods sympathies, we will find that this is a constant and consistent motive and desire.
32 In the OT, Zion can refer to the temple, Jerusalem, or even the whole land granted to Abraham and Israel. The reality and movement always being pointed to is the place where heaven meets earth and God testifies to his rule and glory and from which it spreads to the nations. As noted under I Kings 8:41-43, The NT shows us that Jesus is the fulfillment of Zion (see John 1:51; 2:12-22) and all of those united to Christ are temples, little Zions, both collectively and individually (see Eph 2:18-22; I Cor 6:19-20; 2 Cor 6:16-18; I Peter 2:4-8). Our children should be taught to think and act with faith, vision, and courage as little temples who demonstrate Gods kingship and his commitment to bringing heaven to earth. The glory of Zion was a gift of Gods grace and calling as is the glory we now possess in Christ and through the Holy Spirit (see, for instance, 2 Corinthians 3-4). Parents should constantly communicate to the next generation that the glory we possess in Christ is all by grace and all about Gods calling.
PSALM 67 God be merciful to us and bless us, And cause His face to shine upon us. That Your way may be known on earth, Your salvation among all nations. Let the peoples praise You, O God; Let all the peoples praise You. Oh, let the nations be glad and sing for joy! For You shall judge the people righteously, And govern the nations on earth. Let the peoples praise You, O God; Let all the peoples praise You. Then the earth shall yield her increase; God, our own God, shall bless us. God shall bless us, And all the ends of the earth shall fear Him.
The blessing spoken of applies what we saw in Genesis 12:1-3 and Exodus 19:4-6 when Gods people are blessed as a royal priesthood then the world receives blessing and learns of Gods ways. Blessing, in this context, is not a life full of ease, possessions, love, and respect, but is rather the mercy to confess and repent of sin, worship God with a whole heart, and embrace the path of obedience and sacrifice to God and service to others. It is this blessing that should we yearn to have fill our homes and to be poured out upon our children. How clear is it to your children that you yearn for Gods way to be known on earth, his salvation among all nations? Do they see this in your use of time and resources? Do they hear that in your prayers and easily pick it up in your conversation? Do they know that your great passion for them is that they are fruitful solders in this great cause?
PSALM 68:5-6 A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families; he brings out those who are bound into prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.
As families see Gods strategy described here of setting the solitary in families, they should take active and sacrificial steps toward ministering to, and including the solitary. Heads of Household should especially take responsibility for this. See Job 29:11-16 (above) for a great model of this.
PSALM 71:17-18 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.
Here is a man who grasps and submits his heart and mind to Gods heart and design.
33 Gods great works were to be spoken of from generation to generation. These veritable stories were to pave a bridge to link the generations; a bridge that would inspire future generations to faith in God and His provision. Now more than ever, future generations need to be encouraged and challenged to stay faithful to God when the world is trusting in themselves. . . The church today is hurting because its wisdom is either forcefully segregated by a program or it is separated by the miles. We must redeem this tear in the fabric of generations. (Wallace, 105, 106)
PSALM 78:1-8 O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, things from of old - what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done. He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. They would not be like their forefathers - a stubborn and rebellious generation, whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to him. (Also see Ps. 90:16; Prov. 6:2021.)
One of the joys of Christian parenthood is the prospect that your principles and values and goals can be carried through many generations by your descendants. . . parenting isnt just another job on the long list of jobs that youve been assigned; not simply a good work to finish then set aside. This is how you will be remembered in the real world for generations. This is a way to effect countless people to at least the third and fourth generations. And not just your descendants, but all people who come into contact with your descendants! (Lucas, 23-24) I believe that the vast majority of parents would go to any extreme to see that their children are well-cared for. They want the best education, best medical care, best clothes, best friends for their children and this is right. However, not many parents look at their children as future leaders who will carry Gods covenant on to future generations. When parents, in particular fathers, understand the gravity of their responsibility in these terms a significant disconnect is discovered in the life of the family. How well are they prepared to live their faith? Are they knowledgeable about basic doctrine and theology? Do they have well-developed convictions? Do they have a well-developed vision for their families that they can communicate to their children? Do they know what God specifically wants them to accomplish? (Wallace, 55) A father has two options: either he teaches his children about Gods dealings with His people or he hides them from his children. There is no neutral ground for the believing father. . .Failure to teach the children in such a way that they in the future also will teach their children is in itself a violation of the covenant and an expression of generational failure. (Ptacek, 15)
PSALM 100:5 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.
One of the primary features of the covenant the Lord established with his people is that it embraces families and has always in view the continuation of its saving blessing for generations to come. (Rayburn, 15) Gods love and faithfulness should be the fragrance of our home, the lifeblood of ou r teaching and training and the foundation of our childrens future.
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PSALM 102:28 (The Psalmist here worships in the historical context of judgment upon Israel) The children of your servants will live in your presence; their descendants will be established before you.
So even during times of distress and judgment upon our culture and upon the church as a whole, we can take great hope in Gods promises to our descendants, and we can invest our lives in the next generation so that godliness will prosper on the other side of the current distress. We normally measure the impact we can make, and establish goals accordingly, in terms of years two, five, maybe ten at the most. When we do this in a culture that is rapidly moving away from godliness we are tempted to either compromise or to become discouraged or even despairing. But God wants us to think in terms of generations! This is vital if we are going to impact our culture while staying faithful to Gods call to holiness. Of course, the challenge for each of us is this: Am I willing to be diligent and sacrificial in giving myself to a mission knowing that much of the fruit from it will be seen only after I am dead?
PSALM 103:17-18 But from everlasting to everlasting the Lords love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their childrens children - with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.
The higher the faith of the parent rises, the more the family will come under its power and be permeated by the spirit of godliness. Parental faith in Gods promise will always be known by parental faithfulness to Gods will. . . God establishes His covenant with parents not only to assure them of what He will do, but also to strengthen them for what they must do. (Murray, 36,38) Johnny, said a father once to a child, who was hesitating about obeying his fathers will, whose will must you do, your own or Papas? Papas will, was the reluctant answer. But the child immediately asked, But whose will must Papa do, then? The father was able at once to answer, Gods will. He could explain how he considered obedience to a wiser and better will than his own his greatest privilege. He could at once take his place by the side of his child as also having to give up his own will. (Murray, 261)
PSALM 110 The Lord said to my Lord, "Sit at My right hand, Till I make Your enemies Your footstool." The Lord shall send the rod of Your strength out of Zion. Rule in the midst of Your enemies! Your people shall be volunteers In the day of Your power; In the beauties of holiness, from the womb of the morning, You have the dew of Your youth. The Lord has sworn And will not relent, "You are a priest forever According to the order of Melchizedek." The Lord is at Your right hand; He shall execute kings in the day of His wrath. He shall judge among the nations, He shall fill the places with dead bodies, He shall execute the heads of many countries. He shall drink of the brook by the wayside; Therefore He shall lift up the head.
A sometimes neglected truth in the church is the ascension or exaltation of Christ. The ascension tells us that Jesus is Lord and King, has completed his service as our Great High Priest, that God has been, and is being faithful to establish his kingdom, and that the Holy Spirit has been poured out upon the church to make them a holy nation and royal priesthood. All of this provides a yes to Gods promises to Israel and the nations. One of the passages most used in the NT that highlights the ascension is Psalm 110. Jesus
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refers to Psalm 110 to describe his own Davidic Lordship (Mark 12:35-37); Peter refers to Psalm 110 to show that Jesus is both Lord and Christ (Acts 2: 34-36; also see Hebrews 1:13); Stephen is strengthened in martyrdom as God shows him Jesus at his right hand (Acts 7:55-56), and Paul prays that the believers in Ephesus will have the eyes of their heart opened to see all things under his feet of Jesus the Lord (Ephesians 1:22-23). One of the benefits for us and our children learning of the whole of Christ through the whole of Scripture, and learning to read the NT in the light of Gods promises to Israel, is a renewed understanding of the glories of the ascension and the present encouragement and strength we should receive through Psalms like this one. Because of the Jesus the Lord, and through the faithfulness of God to his promises, our service to God should refresh him as dew in the morning as we daily respond to his mercy as volunteers ready for service.
PSALM 112:1-2 Praise the Lord. Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.
Let our children learn early that, if they will see good, it will be found with God. Let them learn it from us, not as a doctrine, but as a personal testimony. (Murray, 127) What a promise! Please note that its not a promise that his children will be mighty in heaven (which they, of course, will be), but that they will be mighty in the land! Right here and right now, you can leave a legacy of power that will continue to change the world long after youve made the voyage to your home country. . .How do you get in on this promise?. . .First, you have to fear the Lo rd. Its quite interesting that the promise is based on your fear of the Lord, not on your childrens fear of the Lord. The reason is very simple: The best way for your children to learn the fear of the Lord is through being discipled by you as you become a God-fearing man or woman. . .The second condition for the promise is that you find great delight in his commands. God has, in a single verse, given both the beginning and ending methods of successful parenting. It starts with the fear of the Lord and ends with finding His commands delightful. (Lucas, 17) When our children and wives sense that the head of their home is more concerned about pleasing or impressing other Christian men than they are about pleasing God, they rightly conclude that we do not fear God. This is never a valid reason to not respect the man, but it tells us a lot about why they might be reluctant to open their heart to our influence.
PSALM 127:3-5 Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in ones youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
Our children are designed by their Creator to make an impact on the world. To live for a reason. To speed toward a goal. To accomplish a purpose. To count for something in Gods great scheme of things. Ultimately, of course, they are responsible as individuals before their Heavenly Father for the flight they take and the mark they make. Yet parents - and fathers in particular - are also accountable before God. Tender warriors are responsible for releasing those few precious arrows with all the sureness of eye and strength of arm that we can borrow from our God and Father. (Weber, 157) [Speaking of the dominant assumptions and practices in modern evangelical churches on training young people] To reverse our present course, we must first realign the objective we have in mind for our kids. How do we want them to turn out? Building on our foundation, our childrens greatness should far
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outweigh our own, and our grandchildren should be raised even better than our children. They should have a deeper understanding of Gods word, their Christian worldview should be more sharply refined, and their fear of God should be more profound than ours. The biblical standard is nothing short of godly offspring (Mal 2:15): descendants of whom we will not be ashamed, sharp arrows who rise up and contend with our enemies at the gate (Psalm 127:5). (Schlect, 12) To contend with their enemies in the gate means to fight, to protect, to war. Our parenting should and must include training our children in how to fight the enemies of God as they contend for Gods righteousness. Note that Pauls well known instructions on fighting spiritual warfare (Eph 6:10-18) follow instruction about family relationships (Eph 5:22 6:4).
PSALM 128:3-6 Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine. In the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you out of Zion, and may you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life. Yes, may you see your childrens children. Peace be upon Israel!
Note here the profound joy a man is to take in Gods blessing upon his faithful commitment to his wife and children. And see that this is central to Gods blessing upon His people as a whole - Peace be upon Israel! (Commenting on the changes that took place in the American social and religious world in the latter half of the 19th century) As men looked to the world outside of their families for fulfillment, challenge, and edification, their role as domestic patriarch became shallow. (McDannell, Christian Home, 123)
PSALM 138:13-20 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You. Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God! Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men. For they speak against You wickedly; Your enemies take Your name in vain.
There are few truths more important to teach our children than that all they are, all they do, and all that happens to them, is in the hands of a sovereign and faithful God. When a friend hurts their feelings, when your spouse gets on them, when they dont make the team or have to sit on the bench, when they have a nightmare about a robber coming into their bedroom, when a tragedy occurs, when their beloved grandparent dies in all these times you must lovingly teach them that our loving God is in utter control, just as he was when they were formed in the womb. His thoughts are never not with them! This will prepare them for an adult walk with God founded on Gods goodness and control. It will also prepare them to be strong if and when they encounter wicked or bloodthirsty men.
Note: Most of us look to the Proverbs as a great source for parenting instruction and wisdom, which it is. But to properly appreciate this great wisdom we need to approach this in the context of the other things that God has taught us about children, descendants, and the significance of
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household life through all of the Scripture already presented. We must also read and apply these instructions and wisdom through the One who is wisdom personified, Jesus our Lord.
PROVERBS 1:7-9 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.
So the foundation of knowledge is fearing the Lord, and the first step in gaining such knowledge is in listening and not forsaking your parents teaching.
PROVERBS 2:1-5 My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.
Our culture is chock-full of ideas on parenting. Many are very bad, some are weird, and a few beyond incredible. Perhaps the worst of the lot is the idea that you as parent dont have the right to impose your values on your child. When some people start telling us about the reasons behind this - the dignity of each child, the faultiness in our own character - it can start to sound logical, even right. But whats the end of it? You dont impose your values. The enemy imposes his. Your children die - spiritually, emotionally, even physically. You lose. (Lucas, 27) One of the central problems in bringing up children in our day is the constant temptation to underestimate their capacities. We teach them profane and irreverent little ditties, not psalms and hymns. We give them moralistic little stories, not biblical doctrine and ethics. We expect them to act as though they have no brains or souls until they have graduated from college. We aim at nothing, and we hit it every time. (Wilson, Standing, 13) Parents should not call their children to listen to them based on their own wisdom, knowledge, smarts, or character. Rather, they call them to obedience based on Gods chain of command and on Gods design in how the child will learn to die to self and live unto God.
PROVERBS 4:1-4 Listen, my sons, to a fathers instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. When I was a boy in my fathers house, still tender, and an only child of my mother, he taught me and said, Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them.
The wise continue the tradition of wisdom by passing on to succeeding generations the wisdom they learned from their parents. Age and experience are not absolute authorities, but they are important and must be highly regarded (Lev. 19:32). (Geneva Study Bible note) One of the most important ways a child honors their parents is by having a clear and consistent desire to hear their wisdom and perspectives and learn from them. To lay hold of your fathers words is to labor at hearing and understanding your fathers point of view, and to, comparatively speaking, have low regard for the views and standards of peers.
38 We all give our children gifts, but we should note this: A child cant receive anything greater than wisdom. Its a simple fact and one which should lead us to make their getting of wisdom a major priority. You should want nothing less than a little Solomon. . . The cost of getting wisdom, to you as a parent, is your time. You must talk and live these constantly, so that your children will accept this manner of life as normal. They must be immersed in wisdom, so that their manner of thinking and speaking flows in these deep channels. In short, they must stop speaking English and start speaking wisdom. (Lucas, 47)
PROVERBS 5:18-20 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?
The sexual bond between husband and wife is a gift from God for the enjoyment of physical intimacy and the procreation of life. All that God created is good, and physical intimacy between husband and wife is no exception. (Peace, 119) In saying no to sinful sexual indulgence, we must say yes to Gods plan for sexual joy between a husband and wife. We must help our children see and love this yes as we train them to say and live the proper nos. Otherwise, they become sitting ducks for the false yes of the worlds perverted sexuality.
PROVERBS 6:20-21 My son, keep your fathers commands and do not forsake your mothers teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. (Also see 1:8-9; 3:1-2; 4:10,20-22; 5:1-2.)
God has ordained family relationships to be His primary structure through which the work of redemption is accomplished over generations. (Wallace, 66) The fact is, the church and state cannot succeed if the family fails to fulfill its tasks. In that regard, the family is indeed the primary agent of stability in a society. It is the family that is charged with the responsibility of infusing children with the principles of Gods Word (Deuteronomy 6:6 -7). It is the family that is charged with the responsibility of upbraiding, restraining, and rebuking behavior (Proverbs 23:1314). It is the family that is charged with the responsibility of being cultures basic building block (Genesis 9:1-7). It is the family that is charged with the responsibility of balancing liberty with justice, freedom with responsibility, and license with restriction (Deuteronomy 11:18-21). It is the family that is charged with the responsibility of relieving want and destitution within their own ranks (I Timothy 5:8). Thus, when the family fails, the entire social order is jeopardized. When family worship, family discipleship, family solidarity, and family responsibility are surrendered to the expediency of the moment, freedom is surrendered as well. Tyranny is the direct result of the failure of families. (Grant, 5,6)
PROVERBS 7:1-3 My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.
The spiritual culture of their children, their instruction in the works and will of God, their preparation for a life of faith is made the direct responsibility of the churchs parents. . . (Rayburn, 19)
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Children should view the home as something more than the place where they eat and sleep. It is where they are taught and shaped. They should view it as the center of their world. They should see it as their primary culture - and always view the larger culture in the light of what they have learned at home. (Wilson, Culture) Parents, and especially fathers, must learn to train their children to be aggressive in listening to, and pleasing their parents. Out of this will come their understanding of how to be aggressive in listening to, and pleasing God.
PROVERBS 10:1 A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.
Your mission is to build godly wisdom and character into your children. Its absolutely crucial that you help them see the stunning victory that awaits a life of faith, and the smashing defeat that awaits the life of self. (Lucas, 41)
PROVERBS 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him . (Also note Hebrews 12:5-11; Rev. 3:19.)
Hate seems like a very strong word, but the point is that God knows what is best for our childrens learning, what it is that makes impressions upon them, and if we refuse to do what is best for them, then our love for them must be called into question. (Skogan, 34) A man who does not spank his son hates his son. This does not mean that he is filled with emotional revulsion for his son. It means that that lack of discipline has a destructive impact on the future course of that sons life. A parents refusal to discipline is therefore an act of hatred. (Wilson, Standing, 39) The rod is a responsibility. It is not the parent determining to punish. It is the parent determining to obey. . .The parent obeys, not because he perfectly understands how it works, but because God has commanded it. (Tripp, 132, 131)
PROVERBS 17:6 Childrens children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father.
One reason for the loss of family life today, I believe, is the incessant emphasis on dividing ages into tight categories. There are the kindergarten group, the juniors, the intermediates, the seniors, the young business people, the young married ones, the older married couples, and the senior citizens. There are the high school groups, college groups, university groups, and professional groups; everyone segregated from everyone else who is not the same age, and often of the same occupation! This seeps into the family unit, too, so that people just do not expect to enjoy each other or really communicate unless they are exactly the same age. The family should be the place where an opposite trend is begun. . . (From Hidden Art, by Edith Schaeffer, pg. 203)
PROVERBS 17:21 To have a fool for a son brings grief; there is no joy for the father of a fool.
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PROVERBS 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope, do not be a willing party to his death.
This parental discipline mirrors Gods loving relationship to His people. (Ptacek, 16) The longer a child is allowed to grow up unrestrained, the more he becomes enslaved to the self-indulgence of his desires. (Fugate, 52) Remember children are born with a decided bias toward evil, and therefore if you let them choose for themselves, they are certain to choose wrong. The mother cannot tell what her tender infant may grow up to be - tall or short, weak or strong, wise or foolish; he may or may not be any of these; it is all uncertain. But one thing the parents can say with certainty: he will have a corrupt and sinful heart. It is natural for us to do wrong. Foolishness, says Solomon, is bound up in the heart of a child. A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Our hearts are like the earth on which we tread; let it alone, and it is sure to bear weeds. (J.C. Ryle, as quoted in Ray, 31) [Quote from the Puritan Richard Mater as he imagines the scene on Judgment Day as children address the parents who neglected their duties] All this that we suffer is through you: you should have taught us the things of God, and did not; you should have restrained us from sin and corrected us, and you did not; you were the means of our original corruption and guiltiness, and yet you never showed any competent care that we be delivered from it. . . Woe unto us that we had such carnal and careless parents, and woe unto you that had no more compassion and pity to prevent the everlasting misery of your children. (Ryken, 79)
PROVERBS 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
The meaning of this verse is often disputed and many interpretations presented that would seem to go against the natural meaning of the words. But this natural meaning is easy to grasp and appreciate when we consider it within the context of the rest of the Bible. In other words, Proverbs 22:6 does not tell us anything new and different from what is emphasized and stated in many different Scriptures, both by teaching and illustration that our parenting has a huge and deep effect on our children and their walk with God. Even if this verse did not say that, plenty of other Scriptures do. The Scripture repeatedly and emphatically connects the facts and the quality of the nurture of covenant children with the spiritual outcome of their lives. . .over and again the Scriptures declares the nurture of covenant children in knowledge, faith, and love, and obedience will issue in a life of covenantal faithfulness. Faithful parenting will result, by covenanted grace, in believing children. Immediately upon the definitive revelation of the promise of covenant succession in Gen. 17:7, covenantal nurture is identified as the instrumentality of its fulfillment. The straightforward connection established between the meeting of this condition and the fulfillment of this promise neither be ignored nor minimized. That the faith and the salvation of the covenants children is suspended on the faithfulness of their nurture is a biblical commonplace. The point is made repeatedly and emphatically [See Gen. 18:19; Deut 4:40, 5:29; Ps. 102:28; 103:17-18; 112:1-2; Isa. 59:20-21]. (Rayburn, 20) The Scriptures teach a direct connection between how children are brought up and how they turn out. When God-fearing parents are confronted with a God-defying child, shame is an entirely appropriate response. In this shame the parents are acknowledging that they are responsible for what has happened. . . When Christians encourage parents with a false comfort [But this could happen to anyone. You were good parents. Dont blame yourself like that, pg. 42], the shame is not really removed. It does, however, put a whitewash over it, which causes a good deal of confusion. As a result, the grieving parents are given the worst of both worlds. On the one hand, they still feel the guilt and responsibility that result from their parental failure. But because they are taught and encouraged to deny their responsibility for how their children have turned out, they do not experience the forgiveness that is available to them in Christ. Sin can be forgiven, and the parents can begin the task of interceding for their children, seeking to be used by the
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Lord in recovering them. But parents who deny responsibility can never experience the relief and joy of forgiveness - as long as they continue to deny what the Bible identifies as sin. (Wilson, Standing, 44) No mind has yet understood the wonderful interaction of Gods working and our working in the matter of the salvation of our children. However, we do not need to understand it to be sure of it. We can count on Gods faithfulness. (Murray, 136)
PROVERBS 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
The root is evil is within (Gen. 8:21). It is not in the environment. It is within the heart of man. (Ray, 27) Our children are not born pure or innocent; they are born sinful and completely self-centered, with all the inclinations to chase after the flesh. We do not have to teach our kids to life, to hit, to be cruel, or to buck authority; they do this all by themselves. It is totally consistent with their nature, their fallen nature. (Skogan, 6) The heart determines behavior. What you say and do expresses the orientation of your heart. . .The point of confrontation is what is occurring in the heart. Your concern is to unmask your childs sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed. That leads to the cross of Christ. It underscores the need for a Savior. It provides opportunities to show the glories of God who sent His Son to change hearts and free people enslaved to sin. . .You must learn to work back from the behavior you see to the heart, exposing heart issues for your children. (Tripp, 19, 22) To work back from behavior (see above) requires time, gentleness, and patient instruction. It also requires wisdom into your own heart and how the glories of God in his Son free your heart for obedience. Such wisdom helps a parent remember that they are taking the log out of their eye to help their children with the speck in theirs (Matthew 7:1-5). Discipline must be confident . . . God attaches promises to discipline when the discipline is applied in the way He instructs. To apply discipline without believing His promises is impudence. The impudence can take various forms - anxiety, overt unbelief, etc. Many parents will say, We tried that, but it didnt work. First, what does this mean, We tried obedience? And secondly, it did not work because the form of religion without the substance of religion never works. The word confident literally means with faith. Your children must be disciplined in faith, through faith, and from faith. (Wilson, Federal, 97)
PROVERBS 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with a rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.
[From the Puritan John Eliot] The gentle rod of the mother is a gentle thing, it will break neither the bone nor skin: yet by the blessing of God with it, and upon the wise application of it, it would break the bond that bindeth up corruption in the heart. (Ryken, 80) The issue is not a parental insistence on being obeyed. The issue is the childs need to be rescued from death - the death that results from rebellion left unchallenged in the heart. . . The rod of correction brings wisdom to the child. It provides an immediate tactile demonstration of the foolishness of rebellion. (Tripp, 129)
PROVERBS 23:24-25 The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!
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It is vital that fathers and mothers absorb and believe these anticipated joys when their children are young so they can begin investing in ways that, by Gods grace and promise, will lead to these joys and delights! And it is vital that the church leadership regularly sets this before them and organizes church life and ministry in a way that affirms its importance.
PROVERBS 23:26 My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways
Note the boldness of this father as He acts as a man under Gods authority. Are we bold enough to look into our childrens eyes and say this? Does our life and character give credence to this command? Are we prepared to make the investment necessary to follow through? Father are responsible for directly overseeing their children in spiritual matters - a responsibility which cannot be delegated to a youth pastor. . .Responsible youth ministry in the church, though perhaps difficult to execute, is simple to understand: it involves teaching and exhorting parents to raise their children biblically. (Schlect, 14, 13)
PROVERBS 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
Biblical discipline can in some ways be likened to preaching a sermon. It is a message revealing the nature of God, the sin of man, and the consequences that necessarily follow. (Ray, 87) God has commanded the use of the rod in discipline and correction of children. It is not the only thing you do, but it must be used. He has told you that there are needs within your children that require the use of the rod. If you are going to rescue your children from death, if you are going to root out the folly that is bound up in their hearts, if you are going to impart wisdom, you must use the rod. . . The use of the rod is an act of faith. God has mandated its use. The parent obeys, not because he perfectly understands how it works, but because God has commanded it. (Tripp, 130, 131) As long as the parent uses the rod in faith, love, and humility (see Matthew 7:1-5; Gal 6:1-4) then the frequency of spankings is not an issue; a spanking done in the right spirit is always a blessing. But one spanking done in anger and self-righteousness is too many.
PROVERBS 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.
PROVERBS 30:11-17 "There are those who curse their fathers and do not bless their mothers; those who are pure in their own eyes and yet are not cleansed of their filth; those whose eyes are ever so haughty, whose glances are so disdainful; those whose teeth are swords and whose jaws are set with knives to devour the poor from the earth, the needy from among mankind. "The leech has two daughters. 'Give! Give!' they cry. "There are three things that are never satisfied, four that never say, 'Enough!': the grave, the barren womb, land, which is never satisfied with water, and fire, which never says, 'Enough!'
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"The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.
This description of evil men begins and ends with their scorn to their father and mother. Every other evil flows from this most basic form of rebellion against God.
PROVERBS 31:10-31 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Please notice that nothing in this passage suggests a contrast between the wife and mother whose chief concern is her family and the wife and mother who uses her gifts and intelligence to their fullest potential. This passage does not demand a choice between a humdrum, thankless existence as a woman who cares for the home and children and an exciting, stimulating environment in which a woman is able to be creative and able to exhibit skills of administration. If you read this passage and fail to discern the elements of skillful administration and masterful creativity, then you need to read it again. (Bordwine, 285) While the Bible teaches that a womans priority is the home (Titus 2:11), the Bible most emphatically does not teach that a womans place is limited to the home. Her place is in the home (I Tim. 5:14), real estate (Prov. 31:16), agriculture (31:16), evangelism (Phil. 4:3), philanthropy (Prov. 31:20), logistical support for ministry (Rom. 16:1,6), explaining theology (Acts 18:26), and more. In all of this, the central responsibility is of course the home. This priority on the home is not threatened by geographical location; it is threatened by sin and disobedience. (Wilson, Feminist Traditionalism, in Credenda/Agenda, Vol 7, No. 3) (Feminist scholar Ann Douglas comments on the important shifts that took place for many middle and upper-class women in the 19th century as they moved from production and diligence centered around the family to being focused more on consuming) Domesticity itself is altered beyond recognition; women no longer marry to help husbands get a living, but to help them spend their income. . .Expensively educated, well-treated, and well-dressed, they could both advertise male earnings and compensate themselves for their own lost productivity. . . She is a shopper rather than a worker. . . (Douglas, 52, 61, 66)
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SONG OF SOLOMON 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth - for your love is more delightful than wine. (Read the rest of the book to see a beautiful description of sexual delight within the bonds of marriage.)
The sexual relationship between the husband and the wife is not sexual immorality. . . Tragically, there are many children who can easily imagine their parents sitting in front of the television set laughing at dirty jokes, while they cannot comprehend that their mother and father have a sexual relationship. They cannot comprehend their parents involved in moral sexual behavior, but they can see them involved in immorality. This is a profound tragedy. . . Christian men ought not refrain from the sexual pollutions that surround us because they object to lovemaking; they refrain because they object to the wanton vandalism of it. Our culture is doing to sex what people who chew with their mouths open do to food. The Bible teaches us that lovemaking is to honored among Christians; to honor something means to esteem it highly. (Wilson, Reforming, 107, 116) As pictures were being taken after Julies, my oldest daughters wedding, my Mother asked me, Why does it say THE KISS in the wedding order? I told her that this was Julie and Malcolms first kiss. Are you kidding! No, mam, Im not. Now, even though my wife and I had suggested this to our children as a wise approach, this was ultimately Julies conviction that Malcolm had also embraced. I dont, and we never have taught our children, that this is a thus saith the Lord kind of thing, but I do believe it saved them from potential mistakes and regrets, helped build self-control in both their lives, and made THE KISS an especially beautiful, God-honoring moment.
ISAIAH 3:5 People will oppress each other-- man against man, neighbor against neighbor. The young will rise up against the old, the base against the honorable.
The latter stages of a cultures collapse into anarchy and rebellion is reached when the youth determine the core commitments and values of the culture. As the rebellion spreads, the church, in order stay relevant, will often feel the need to avoid the biblical truths that cut against this rebellious grain. This is a great and serious mistake and will only hasten the collapse. Instead we must humbly (not self-righteously) and confidently (not angrily) assert and live the wisdom of God
ISAIAH 39:5-8 Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, Hear the word of the Lord Almighty: The time will surely come when everything in your palace, and all that your fathers have stored up until this day, will be carried off to Babylon. Nothing will be left, says the Lord. And some of your descendants, your own flesh and blood who will be born to you, will be taken away, and they will become eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon. The word of the Lord you have spoken is good, Hezekiah replied. For he thought, There will be peace and security in my lifetime.
This response has a negative note, as the king shows little concern for his own descendants or for his people. (Geneva Study Bible, 1090) Is this not, at times, our attitude? And is this not the prevailing attitude of our contemporaries in society and even in the church?
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Note on Isaiah 40-66 These chapters profoundly shape Jesus and the writers of the New Testament. Consider: The ministry of John the Baptist is described as that which was spoken of by the prophet Isaiah from Isaiah 40:2-3: The voice of one crying in the wilderness: Prepare the way of the Lord; make his paths straight Gospel in the New Testament comes from good news of Isaiah 40:9; 52:7; 61:1 which all deal with the coming and proclaiming of Gods kingship New creation (Gal 6:15; 2 Cor 5:17), New Heavens and New Earth (see Revelation 21-22), and a renewed Jerusalem (Gal 4:21-31) all come from descriptions in Isaiah of the day God will forgive and transform Israel and through them bring blessings to the nations.
Isaiah 40-66, second only to Revelation 21-22, confirms what the Bible and history is all about: God makes all things, then through Jesus, the seed of Abraham and David, and through the Holy Spirit, defeats sin and death and brings creation to rest as he (1) claims, cleanses, and blesses his people as a holy nation and royal priesthood; (2) brings his heavenly glory and rule to earth by making the world his holy temple-city; (3) and judges all that stands against him. Our God reigns!
ISAIAH 44:3-4 For I will pour out water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit in your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.
The prophets said that spiritual fruitfulness would increase under the New Covenant. . .! Generations, 122) (Wilson,
As noted earlier in this material, such promises as this one are based on such earlier prophecies as Deut 30:6. There Moses said that after judgment on Israel that God would circumcise the hearts of the Israelites and their descendants for a new day of obedience and spiritual prosperity and life. Hope, faith, a deep confidence in Gods power to cleanse and enable us: these are the influences a man must bring into his home everyday. His wife needs this after a hard day with sinful children and with new awareness of her own sin; his children need it as they smack into the concrete wall of their own fleshly nature and face vexing temptations. As we soak in the prophetic promises over these next pages, we will be strengthened in hope, faith, and confidence.
ISAIAH 52:7-10 How beautiful upon the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who proclaims peace, Who brings glad tidings of good things, Who proclaims salvation, Who says to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Your watchmen shall lift up their voices, With their voices they shall sing together; For they shall see eye to eye When the Lord brings back Zion. Break forth into joy, sing together, You waste places of Jerusalem! For the Lord has comforted His people, He has redeemed Jerusalem. The Lord has made bare His holy arm In the eyes of all the nations; And all the ends of the earth shall see The salvation of our God.
The New Testament gospel comes from the good news described here in Isaiah. This good news is the proclamation of Gods reign in Zion/Jerusalem which is the way God bares his holy arm in the eyes of all
46 the nations. We see in Isaiah 53 that this great work comes through the Suffering Servant who will take upon himself the iniquity of Israel, a portrait and prophecy that the NT confirms is realized in Jesus.
ISAIAH 54:13 All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children's peace.
No promise of Gods blessing is complete unless it reaches into our childrens lives and hearts. This is a fact that is built on creation and all of Gods workings in the Old Testament, and is emphatically affirmed in the New Testament (see Gal 4:27 where Paul applies Isaiah 54:1 as the day that has arrived through Christ; see John 6:45 where Jesus reveals that Isaiah 54:13 is fulfilled through his ministry). It is an expression of His purpose for and through our descendants to exalt His name and establish His greatness.
ISAIAH 59:21 As for me, this is my covenant with them, says the Lord. My Spirit, who is on you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will not depart from your mouth, or from the mouths of your children, or from the mouths of their descendants from this time on and forever, says the Lord.
The modern individualistic mindset does not comprehend the critical scriptural importance of faithful covenantal children, and faithful covenantal descendants. (Wilson, Generations, 121) Gods Spirit and my children belong to each other. I may in faith claim the Spirits dwelling and working in them. (Murray, 149) The outworking of such glorious promises requires faith. Not faith in myself, in my parenting, in my perseverance or character, but faith in Gods power, grace, and promises! Such faith also flies in the face of the modern mind-set that our children are supposed to go through some period of rebellion before they are ready to come back to Christian fruitfulness.
ISAIAH 61:8-9 "For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity. In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them. Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the LORD has blessed."
Parenting effort that starts with our commitments, goals, and works is stressful and frustrating. Parenting effort that starts with Gods promises, grace, and purposes is energizing.
ISAIAH 65:22-23 No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat. For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy the works of their hands. They will not toil in vain or bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the LORD, they and their descendants with them.
When shall this be? It will not be after the final resurrection of the dead - at that time we will no longer marry or be given in marriage. We will not rear children in heaven. This is a prophecy that will be fulfilled during the era of the gospel. In other words, these are promises that apply to us, and as the Christian [age] progresses, the fulfillment of these promises will become more and more manifest. (Wilson, Standing, 26)
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JEREMIAH 32:38-39 They will be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me for their own good and the good of their children after them.
It is tempting to try to find some parenting techniques and methods that will be the magic pill for raising godly children. But God never wants us to forget that the much more crucial factor in raising such children is the integrity of our life with God, and this integrity cannot be faked. It is also an integrity - a singleness of heart and action that is granted by God. The first thing on the part of the parent is a life devoted to God and His service. It is this that creates the spiritual atmosphere the children are to breathe. (Murray, 93) This is one of the things that makes discipling future generations so difficult at times. The weaknesses we see in our children are often ones that we see in ourselves. We must humble ourselves and first be teachable so that God can then use us to teach our children. (Wallace, 75) These words are in the context of the new covenant that God will establish (see Jer 31:31-34; and see Luke 22:20, I Cor 11:25, 2 Cor 3:6; Heb 8 for the fact that it is established in Christ). This means that this new covenant, this gospel, this kingdom established in and through Christ, will include the grace to fear God (see Heb 12:28) in a way that will bring blessing to my children! My 16 year old son, Beau, my 10 year old daughter, Jennifer, and I were in the car. Beau was asking me about renting a video game that he and I both were familiar with. I told him I would rather not there was something about that game, and ones similar to it, that made me uncomfortable. He respectfully pushed back a little, but I said, No, I just dont feel good about that. About a week later I was in the car with just Jennifer, and out of blue she said, Dad, I really appreciate you loving God. I asked her why that had come to mind. She said, well, when we were in the car last week, I really appreciate you following what you thought was right when Beau wanted to get that game. I didnt even know she had listened to all that I am always amazed at the things our kids pick up on and the ways they see love to God, or a lack of love for God.
JEREMIAH 35:16-19 Surely the sons of Jonadab the son of Rechab have performed the commandment of their father, which he commanded them, but this people has not obeyed Me. Therefore thus says the LORD God of hosts, the God of Israel: Behold, I will bring on Judah and on all the inhabitants of Jerusalem all the doom that I have pronounced against them; because I have spoken to them but they have not heard, and I have called to them but they have not answered. And Jeremiah said to the house of the Rechabites, "Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: 'Because you have obeyed the commandment of Jonadab your father, and kept all his precepts and done according to all that he commanded you, 'therefore thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: "Jonadab the son of Rechab shall not lack a man to stand before Me forever.
God uses the example of the sons of Jonadab honor toward their father as a illustration of how Israel should obey and honor God. This underlines the importance of teaching our children to honor their fathers as training for honoring God.
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EZEKIEL 22:7 In you they have treated father and mother with contempt; in you they have oppressed the alien and mistreated the fatherless and the widow.
As God describes the sin of Judah, he puts treating father and mother with contempt high on His list. This illustrates the fact that social breakdown begins with breakdown in honoring parents.
EZEKIEL 37:24-26 "And My servant David will be king over them, and they will all have one shepherd; and they will walk in My ordinances, and keep My statutes, and observe them. And they shall live on the land that I gave to Jacob My servant, in which your fathers lived; and they will live on it, they, and their sons, and their sons' sons, forever; and David My servant shall be their prince forever. And I will make a covenant of peace with them; it will be an everlasting covenant with them. And I will place them and multiply them, and will set My sanctuary in their midst forever.
When is David My servant made the one shepherd over Gods people? When Jesus Christ, the descendant of David, came, died, and was exalted to Gods right hand as Lord and Christ. See Matth ew 2:6, 9:36, 16:31, John 10, Heb 13:20-21, I Peter 2:25, 5:4. The land inherited would be the nations as well as heaven, which was always the thrust the Gods promises to Abraham, of which the physical land was but a token (see Romans 4:13, Hebrews 11:8-16). The fact that our sons and sons sons are right in the middle of this work is the next step in Gods design that we first see in Genesis 1:28. . . .one of the most precious doctrines of Scripture for believing parents is the teaching of covenantal succession from one generation to the next (Ps. 102:28). Faithful parents are promised that their children will follow the Lord (Dt. 7:9). Moreover, the blessings of this covenantal succession were prophesied as coming into a glorious fulfillment under the New Covenant (Ez. 37:24-26; Isa. 59:21; 65:23; Jer. 32:3840). . . Under the New Covenant, our childrens children are truly included. (Ps. 103; Luke 1:48-50). (Wilson, Generations, 123)
JOEL 2:15-16 Blow a trumpet in Zion, consecrate a fast, proclaim a solemn assembly, Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children and the nursing infants.
[The children and nursing infants] were commanded by God to be present. It may be that they were receiving some benefit themselves. It may additionally be, as [John] Calvin suggested in his comment on this passage, that the reason we have our children present in our worship services is to remind us of our need to repent and believe for the benefit of future generations of believers. (Bacon, 30, 31)
JOEL 2:28-32 'And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days. I will show wonders in the heavens and on the earth, blood and fire and billows of smoke. The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD. And everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved; for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there will be deliverance, as the LORD has said, among the survivors whom the LORD calls.
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MALACHI 2:14-16 (In Malachis day, Israelite men were divorcing their Isra elite wives to marry foreign women who worshipped other gods) You ask, Why? It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel, and I hate a mans covering himself with violence as well as with his garment, says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
A mans greatest strength is his capacity to stay by the stuff. To make a nd keep promises. . . The curse of our day is men who dont know what a man is and who cut and run from their wives and families. . .Promise making and keeping is at the heart of godliness. At the heart of God - at the very core of His nature - is the making and keeping of promises. (Weber, 57, 60) Real masculinity involves a willingness to remain committed to loved ones no matter what circumstances arises. The collapse of adequate models of Christian manhood is producing self-absorbed and often cowardly men who bail out when the going gets tough. These men are demolishing their children by their absence. (Hardenbrook, 84) [Commenting on the fact that God is seeking godly offspring] Marriage is a covenantal union, designed by God with a set purpose in mind - and that purpose is a fruitful covenantal union. God designed biblical marriage with the intention of bringing godly offspring into the world. (Wilson, Standing, 21)
MALACHI 4:5-6 See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse. (See Luke 1:17 below for the fulfillment of this.)
This verse is not so much an expression of sentimental attachment, but is rather a summary of all that God has taught up to this point about the centrality of households, of generational commitment, and of the way vibrant faith is transmitted. Consider that God ordered events to make these the last words in the Old Testament canon. The biblical faith understands that healing between fathers and children is not simply a psychological exercise to bring greater peace of mind; instead, it is the essential prerequisite to fulfilling Gods purposes on earth. When fathers are reconciled with sons and daughters, Gods saving power is released among us; conversely, when fathers and children remain at odds with one another, powers of destruction are beckoned. (Gorden Dalby from Healing the Masculine Soul, as quoted in Weber, 134) Church leadership should constantly ask themselves: Does our life and ministry honor this truth? Does our approach to church life show that we believe that this father-child heart connection is a non-negotiable when it comes to true success in Gods work and kingdom? (Here noting the movement toward matriarchy in the home and away from the biblical role of the man that was taking place in the 19th century) Likewise, even illustrations from the 1840s and 1850s, children are always being read to from the Bible by their mothers. T.S. Arthur, who tried to include men in religion, revealed deeper sentiments in his frontispiece illustration for The Home Mission. Titled Our Father, it shows a heavenly angel looking down over individual children at prayer. The mother dominates the illustration with her hand upraised in a teaching gesture. The father looks on benignly, almost hidden behind the mother. His involvement is one of passive admiration. (McDannell, Christian Home, 114)
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As we move into the New Testament, we should pause and reflect on the fact that we have seen a strong and constant emphasis on Gods heart and design for households and future gene rations. It began in creation, was emphasized in the Patriarchal period, the law under Moses, the Psalms and Proverbs, and throughout the Prophets. Do these claims and commitments of God continue in the New Testament? How do they apply to us through the coming of Jesus? What relevance do they have on the other side of his death, resurrection, and exaltation?
MATTHEW 6:10-11 In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
In this Lords Prayer Jesus trains us to pray and yearn for a few central matters that should shape our lives, including our home life. After asking for Gods name to be hallowed, he tells us to pray for Gods kingdom to come, which is further described as Gods will being done on earth as it is in heaven. This desire is related to Gods call to Adam and Eve and to Israels call to be a light to the world and a city (Zion) set on a hill (see Matthew 5:14). It was manifested in the temple where heaven came to earth, and was anticipated in the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, who was to bring order an d righteousness to Gods people and through them to the nations. The disciples, from the Old Testament, had a idea what this would mean, but would learn in the years to come how it would come through Jesus and would be seen and spread through the church. We should pray and labor for our children to learn to make this prayer theirs and to become the kind of Christians whose life helps bring about the answer to this prayer.
MATTHEW 7:1-5 "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Jesus teaches us to confront and admonish with humble and loving spirits as we reckon first with our own sin and failure before confronting others. We should take this to heart in the way we confront our childrens sin; otherwise, we might discipline and admonish our children in ways that align ourselves with Satan. He is the great accuser (Job 1:9, 2:5; Zech 3:1-2; Rev 12:10), and he is happy when we, out of a condemning spirit, say things like, What is wrong with you! Why are so stubborn! Will you ever change! Your sister (or brother) does not do that! I never would have done that when I was your age! My day would be so much easier if you were not so difficult! You have ruined this whole trip! Always take the plank out of your own eye first so that you will see clearly and know deep humility, love, and gentleness as you carry out your God-given responsibility to remove the speck from your childs eye.
MATTHEW 9:18-19, 25 While [Jesus] was saying this, a ruler came and knelt before him and said, My daughter has just died. But come and put your hand on her, and she will live. Jesus got up and went with him, and so did his disciples. . . After the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took the girl by the hand, and she got up. (Also see Matt. 8:5-13; 17:14-18; Luke 7:1115.)
51 Through the whole course of Gods dealing with parents, from Noah onward, we have seen that God gives the parent the right to act on behalf of the child. All the influence a parent is to exert depends on his being clear on this point: I am the steward of Gods grace to the child, and I am heard on his behalf. (Murray, 123)
MATTHEW 10:12-13 And when you go into a household, greet it. If a household is worthy, let your peace come upon it. But if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you.
As we come into the New Testament, it is clear that Jesus embraced and reflected the Old Testament emphasis on households.
MATTHEW 15:22, 28 And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying, "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed." . . . Then Jesus answered and said to her, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.
As we study carefully, we will be surprised to find how many of the most precious and encouraging words of Christ have been spoken to parents in reference to their children: Fear not, only believe; All things are possible to him that believes; O woman, great is your faith: be it unto you even as you will. Such words, which have countless times been the strength and comfort of the penitent seeking pardon or the believer pleading some spiritual blessing, are in the first place the parents property, the blessed assurance that there is no case in which a child now in Satans power is beyond the reach of the Saviors love and a parents faith . . . You who are pleading for your prodigal child have [this womans] example. And not only this, but a thousand words of promise, a revelation of the Fathers will, and the Saviors power and love such as she never had. (Murray, 156, 158)
MATTHEW 18:6-10 But if anyone causes one of these little on es who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! If your hand or your foot causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.
Of whom is [Jesus] speaking? Although Christ is speaking generally, to whom do these words primarily apply? The answer is parents. R.L. Dabney, in an essay on parental responsibilities, makes the observation that, under Gods providence, when a man and a woman have a child, they have kindled a spark that can never be put out. That child, blessed or cursed, will exist forever and ever. . . How serious, then, should we as parents be in the assumption of these responsibilities? [These verses] tell us - they are the familiar ones about what we should do if our hand, foot, or eye causes us to sin. We should sacrifice them - better to enter life maimed than to be thrown into Hell whole and entire. . . In other words, the Lord is teaching us that it is better to maim ourselves than to stumble our children - a very serious warning indeed. (Wilson, Standing, 12)
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MARK 3:31-35 Then His brothers and His mother came, and standing outside they sent to Him, calling Him. And a multitude was sitting around Him; and they said to Him, "Look, Your mother and Your brothers are outside seeking You." But He answered them, saying, "Who is My mother, or My brothers?" And He looked around in a circle at those who sat about Him, and said, "Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of God is My brother and My sister and mother."
The question Who are my mother and my brothers? was a shocking response to their summons; it must have sounded like he was virtually disowning his own kin. We know that of course Jesus did not do that, but in this stark way he presented the reality of kinship with himself in the kingdom of God as a higher priority than human kinship obligations (Wright, OT Ethics, 357). Be careful to keep all the household emphasis of this material in its proper place. We can easily make idols of our children, of family loyalty and cohesiveness, of our family name, family standards and goals.
MARK 8:34 When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it.
It is undeniable: faithfulness as a parent, and as a godly spouse, requires denying yourself, taking up the cross, and following Jesus. I find increasingly that in counseling people about challenges in marriage that I zero in on whether the spouses want to follow Jesus or not and are willing to pursue Gods resources to do so. If they dont, we dont need to waste much time with communication techniques, conflict management tools, etc. The great challenges and discouragements in marriage and parenting are usually opportunities to face the question of whether we are really serious about following Jesus. This is the question that must be asked when: A mother, worn out with the challenges of little ones, starts thinking, Ive lost my life all I do is take care of these kids. A parent is hurt because their teen is ungrateful toward them Our spouse does not give us the love or respect we want or believe we deserve A husband is struggling with self-pity because he works hard with during the day and handles all types of stresses, yet finds his wife needs his full engagement when he comes home.
Be sure, in the midst of demands, the failures of others, and our tendency to make excuses, that you hear this call of Jesus. Jesus said that those who live for themselves will actually have an unfulfilling life, but those who lose their lives for his sake will really experience life. As parents, our self-death for Christs sake not only produces fruit in our own hearts, but produces fruit in the hearts of our children, fruit that grows by the power of God. Let us, then, choose to joyfully give of ourselves for our children (The Everyday Question of Motherhood by Christine Hoover, from John Pipers Website, Apri l 24, 2012) As we embrace Jesus call to take up our cross and follow him we will be prepared to help our children embrace this call. When our child is treated unkindly by someone at school, or on the ball team or in the neighborhood, we should not only be compassionate but should also start to help them to rejoice at the chance to die to self and follow Christ. When a coach or teacher is harsh and hurts their feelings we should gently guide our child to be joyful at the opportunity to learn more about what Jesus endured and to understand that Gods kingdom comes through suffering (avoiding the typical, How dare they treat my
53 child that way kind of reaction). If we have a child with characteristics that could cause them to be considered odd in the cruel world of peer acceptance a disability, a learning problem, a unusual physical feature, a speech impediment we should embrace Gods sovereign chance for that child to learn at deeper levels than most of how to turn to Jesus for their identity in picking up this cross and following him (and becoming more sensitive to others than most children and adults might be). As our child senses our commitment to, and joy in these truths, they will open their hearts to Gods path of life both for themselves and for others.
MARK 9:20-24 Then they brought him to Him. And when he saw Him, immediately the spirit convulsed him, and he fell on the ground and wallowed, foaming at the mouth. So He asked his father, "How long has this been happening to him?" And he said, "From childhood. And often he has thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"
Just as the man who brought his son with a demon to Jesus, the royal official who brought his son sick unto death, the woman who summoned Jesus when her daughter had died, the centurion who took responsibility for his sick servant, and the Syrophoenician woman who sought Jesus when her daughter was possessed of an evil spirit - as well as the thousands of parents who have asked for help and wholeness for their children - we have proof that while they thought only of obtaining what their children needed, their prayers led to experiences of the power and love of the Savior, closer and more intimate fellowship with Him, and personal blessing they never found praying only for themselves. They saw Him with whom they were pleading descend, and say, I am Jesus; they saw Him embrace their loved one. Jesus was never so gloriously revealed as when they were pleading as parents and guardians for their children and those in their care. (Murray, 50) When our children have sin and darkness we often face a crisis in our faith do I believe God can overcome this? Can he free this child from this destruction? This then should drive us to dependence Help my unbelief! Strengthen my faith! Energize my prayers!
LUKE 1:16-17 [The angel speaking to Zecharias about the son, John, God will give him and Elizabeth] "And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous - to make ready a people prepared for the Lord. [Note that this citation of Malachi 4:6, which is the last verse of the Old Testament, comes within the first incident recorded for us within the New Testament time frame, thus stressing its importance in Gods redemptive work]
This citation of Malachi 4:6 comes within the context of the announcement of the glad tidings of the gospel (see Luke 1:19) when God would turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God (see hundreds of verses in the prophets describing this great day). These glad tidings were announced in Isaiah (40:9, 51:7, 61:1), described in Isaiah and other prophets and included a complex of blessings, not least of which was Gods might being displayed through raising up godly descendants through His people. The Bible teaches that one of the features of the New Covenant was to be the restoration of the covenantal parent/child relationship, not the dissolution of the covenantal parent/child relationship [See Mal. 4:5-6 which is quoted by the angel; also see Isa. 44:3-4; 59:21; Jer. 32:38-39]. . . But if such glorious generational and covenantal promises are ascribed to the Old Covenant, and are abandoned by the New, then how are the promises better? (Wilson, Generations, 15)
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Johns ministry confirmed the faithful covenant household as essential in preparing the way for the Lord and avoiding Gods curse. (Booth, 55)
LUKE 1:38 I am the Lords servant, Mary answered. May it be to me as you have said.
Over all the impulses of human love and instincts of a God-given maternity, there hovers a divine purpose using them for the carrying out of His plan. The life of the wife and mother will take on a new meaning when she realizes herself to the Lords bondwoman from whom may be born a gen eration to serve the Lord. Then human love receives divine consecration. . . If the mother is indeed to receive grace for the successful fulfillment of this new responsibility, she must give herself to be the Lords willing, loving slave for this holy work. She must realize that there may be much that has to be put away, much that she will have to struggle against and overcome, to be the holy mother of a holy child. (Murray, 206, 214) A godly mother must be the Lords servant when she is tired of middle of the night feedings, of little ones fussing with each other, of constant training and discipline, of teens who dont know how to show gratitude. The Lords servant does not say, well, Id be okay with this role IF I didnt have to face [the really hard parts]. Rather, the Lords servant embraces the hardest parts as a chance to grow in faith and humility and the greatest opportunities to become a blessing to her children.
LUKE 1:50, 54-55 [The pregnant virgin Mary rejoicing as she greets her cousin Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist] His mercy extends to those who fear Him, from generation to generation. . . He has helped His servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and His descendants forever, even as he said to our fathers.
Notice also how Mary uses the term generation. She does not believe that the Messiah to be born of her is coming to earth to introduce some new approach to the generations of Gods people. It is not as though God were somehow concerned for the preservation of generations in the Old Testament, but now, in the New Testament He begins to say, Every man for himself! The arrival of the Messiah is a demonstration of Gods faithfulness to the generations of His people; it is not the point at which He abandons them. The mother of the Messiah knows this, and affirms it. (Wilson, Standing, 28) A mark of how little we understand the Bible is that modern Christians have come to understand the New Testament era as that time when God abrogated His earlier promises, and started over from scratch, rather than the time when God fulfilled His promises in a glorious way. (Wilson, Standing, 25)
LUKE 2:46-47 (Joseph and Mary are looking for Jesus, who is twelve years old at the time) After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers.
Even though Jesus is God Incarnate, He grows in wisdom from the teachers of the temple court. If such generational connectedness was important for Him, how much more important is it for us! The Scriptures contain directives which promote cross-generational interaction, and we must avoid cultural patters that encumber our obedience to them [author notes Lev. 19:32; Titus 2:3-6 here]. Regress in maturity happens in the church when we ignore the mandates in Scripture which implore the young and the old to interact with one another. With age comes wisdom - wisdom that must be passed on to young
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people. Older people must be eager to share it, and younger people must be eager to receive it. The socalled generation gap (a twentieth-century invention) has been used as an excuse for age segregation, but Scripture speaks of no such thing. Our Lord prohibits our perpetuating immaturity in His church by leaving the younger generation to itself. (Schlect, 10-11)
LUKE 18:15-17 People were bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. B ut Jesus called the children to him and said, Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. (Also see Mark 10:13-16 and Matt. 21:16 where Jesus welcomes praise from children, quoting Ps. 8:2.)
[From this passage] we recognize our Lords awareness of the fact that even babes were capable of receiving divine blessing. (Kirkby, 82) Indeed, our children are not merely incidentally included; much more they epitomize the new covenant [or kingdom of God established in and through Christ]. (Gallant, 29) We should often touch our children on the head or shoulders and say things like, God loves you. Jesus is your King He has His hand on you. God has given you His Spirit for strength and blessing. Jesus is with you so that You can be great for Him. This is especially important to do during times of discipline or rebuke. Doing this in faith will help prepare our children for a life lived in confident response through Gods grace.
LUKE 19:8-10 But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount. Jesus said to him, Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.
Why would Jesus say salvation has come to this house rather than just to this man? Because He understood and fully subscribed to the Old Testament connection between a man and his household within the context of defining Gods visible people. Salvation coming to Zacchaeus house would be seen in actions of obedience to Gods laws of caring for the poor and of restitution for theft (see, for instance, Deut 15 on the former and Exodus 21 for the latter). Since the new covenant includes Gods law being written in our hearts along with the grace to obey (Jer 31:33; see Romans 8:1-4), then our homes should demonstrate salvation through actions of fulfillment of Gods law.
ACTS 2:16-17 (The Apostle Peter speaks to the gathered crowd of Jews who a re wondering, What does this mean? as they see the manifestations of the outpoured Holy Spirit at Pentecost) No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel: In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, . . .
First, note that the context and Peters application of the prophecy from Joel shows that the last days referred to here are the days of Christ, already inaugurated. Second, note that one of the first applications that Peter draws from these last days is the increase in spiritual blessings on and through the sons and daughters of Gods People. He could have chosen many other prophetic passages that spoke of these last days of glad tidings and of the coming of Gods kingdom, but he specifically chose one that spoke of the
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blessings that would come upon the descendants. And, of course, this prophecy in Joel flows from, and is interconnected with, all that God had already taught His people about their descendants from creation all the way through the Old Testament. The work of redemption is not simply an adult matter, it specifically involves members of the family unit. (Wallace, 52)
ACTS 2:38-39 Peter replied, Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Je sus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off - for all whom the Lord your God will call.
Notice that the orientation here is not on God sitting around waiting for our children to make an individual choice, but on his calling. He calls us and then calls our children through baptism and the Word. He is actively pursuing us and our household. (Horten, 225) The appropriation by faith of this divine promise and summons is the means appointed to furnish the church with generation after generation of great multitudes of Christian servants and soldiers who reach manhood and womanhood well taught, sturdy in faith, animated by love for God and man, sophisticated in the ways of the world and the Devil, polished in the manners of genuine Christian brotherhood, overshadowed by the specter of the Last Day, nerved to deny themselves and take up their cross so as to be counted worthy of greater exploits for Christ and His Kingdom. Presently the church not only suffers a terrible shortage of such other-worldly and resolute Christians, superbly prepared for spiritual warfare, but, in fact, is hemorrhaging its children into the world. Christian evangelism will never make a decisive difference in our culture when it amounts merely to an effort to replace losses due to widespread desertion from our own camp. (Rayburn, 23) . . .parents, who are the masters of their childrens thoughts in the formative ye ars, are responsible to ensure that the children of the covenant grow up fully aware and appreciative of the promises which have been made to them by name and the summons which was issued to them at the headwaters of their lives. (Rayburn, 19) This baptism of the Holy Spirit, which was symbolized by water baptism, is the promised outpouring from above that the prophets had spoken about (see Isa 44:3, Ezek 36:25, Isa 52:15). This baptism comes in the context of the glad tidings announced by Isaiah (40:9, 52:7, 61:1) when God would visit His people to restore them through forgiveness and repentance. At the center of this great day the children were always front and center as recipients and objects of these great blessings, as Joel predicted and as Peter clearly affirms here. It would have been inconceivable to Peters Jewish audience if he had not put the children at the center of these blessings and of Gods claiming of them for usefulness in this new day, as the whole of the Old Testament had prepared them for this. They knew all the Scripture we presented in the OT portion of this material and were fully expecting Gods claim and commitment to their households and children not just to continue to be strengthened.
ACTS 2:46B-47 They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Unless we open the doors of our homes to one another, the reality of the local church as a close-knit family of loving brothers and sisters is only a theory. A cold unfriendly church contradicts the gospel message. Yet unfriendliness stands out as one of the most common criticisms people have of local churches. It
57 doesnt take people long to figure out that there is a churchy love among Christians that ends at the back door of the sanctuary or in the parking lot. It is a superficial, Sunday-morning kind of love that is unwilling to venture beyond the walls of the church building. Brotherly love, however entails intimate relationship, care for one another, knowledge of one another, belonging together, and sharing life together. We cannot know or grow close to brothers or sisters by meeting for an hour and fifteen minutes a week with a large group in a church sanctuary. The home is the ideal place in which to build relationships and closeness. (Strauch, 17)
ACTS 5:42 And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they kept right on teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ. (Also see Acts 20:20 for Pauls going from house to house; see Mark 2:16; Luke 5:29; 15:1,2; 19:1-10; Acts 10:24 for examples of evangelism taking place in homes.)
In the early expansion of Christianity, hospitality played a key role. . . the home was a natural, grass-roots base for spreading the gospel message. . . One of the most important methods of spreading the gospel in antiquity was by the use of homes. . .It is often forgotten that the Christianity which conquered the Roman Empire was essentially a home-centered movement. . .For the early Christians, the home was the most natural setting for proclaiming Christ to their families, neighbors, and friends . . . If we would only open our eyes, we would see that opportunities abound for using our homes to reach friends and neighbors with the gospel. (Strauch, 21, 22 - the second two parts of this are quotes that Strauch cites from Michael Green and Robert Banks, respectively)
ACTS 11:12-14 [Peters report to the brothers in Jerusalem after he had gone to preach the gospel to Cornelius and his household] Then the Spirit told me to go with them, doubting nothing. Moreover these six brethren accompanied me, and we entered the mans house. And he told us how he had seen an angel standing in his house, who said to him, Send men to Joppa, and call for Simon whose surname is Peter, who will tell you words by which you and your household will be saved.
Peter, the Jew, enters the home of a Gentile and preaches to Christ to him. At the center of that mission is household. This is important affirmation that the claiming of households and generations is not Jewish, but is creational.
ACTS 16:31 [Paul and Silas] replied, Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved - you and your household. (Also Acts 16:14-15; I Cor. 1:16.)
Have you ever said what Paul and Silas said to this man? Would we ever tell a neighbor or co-worker who wanted to know Christ that you must believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved you and your household? Why would we not say this? Because we have a long ways to go in thinking biblically about Gods claiming of households. We have a long ways to go in thinking as a first -century Jew would (which is what Paul and Silas were) about the significance of Gods commitment to constitute his holy assembly along household lines. And this is Christ-centered fulfillment of the patterns God established at creation and then affirmed through Noah and all of his dealings with Israel. Though God purposed to redeem individuals, his plan included much more. He also laid claim to their households. . .The more narrow old administrations [speaking of OT patterns - see many of the verses in this handout from OT] included the children of believers in the covenant of grace. They should therefore
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be included under the new and broader administration of the covenant of grace, barring an explicit statement by God to the contrary. (Booth, 35, 65) Though they did have some powerful evangelists, mostly the [early] Church evangelized through individual households. One family told another family, who told another family, who told another family, etc. (From Covenant Household Ministry, an article by Brian Abshire)
ACTS 17:2-3 . . . 7 [In Thessalonica] Then Paul, as his custom was, went in to them, and for three Sabbaths reasoned with them from the Scriptures, 3 explaining and demonstrating that the Christ had to suffer and rise again from the dead, and saying, "This Jesus whom I preach to you is the Christ." 4 And some of them were persuaded; and a great multitude of the devout Greeks, and not a few of the leading women, joined Paul and Silas . . . Jason has harbored [the Christians and these are all acting contrary to the decrees of Caesar, saying there is another king--Jesus."
Through Pauls preaching - Jesus is the Christ, and the Christians testimony: there is another king, Jesus - we see the core message of fulfillment of OT themes as well as the heart of the gospel message. This reminds us that the gospel: 1) is all about fulfillment, and 2) is confrontational, both to Caesar and all others who would dare to claim rule in heaven or earth. The latter truth will be crucial for our children to know as the Caesars in our nation in government, media, and entertainment seem increasingly oriented toward decrees of policy and political correctness that challenge Gods rule. Our children (us as well) will be equipped to respond with humble courage as we are taught daily, and nourished on all of Scripture to sustain the truth, that because Jesus is Israels King (Christ) , that he is now King of heaven and earth and all that is within the earth, and that we are the people who are called to proclaim and live this, even if it means persecution.
ROMANS 1:1-5 . . . 16:25-27 [1:1-5] Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated to the gospel of God which He promised before through His prophets in the Holy Scriptures, concerning His Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who was born of the seed of David according to the flesh, and declared to be the Son of God with power according to the Spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead. Through Him we have received grace and apostleship for obedience to the faith among all nations for His name . . . [16:25-27] Now to Him who is able to establish you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery kept secret since the world began but now has been made manifest, and by the prophetic Scriptures has been made known to all nations, according to the commandment of the everlasting God, for obedience to the faith-- to God, alone wise, be glory through Jesus Christ forever. Amen.
1:1-5 are the opening verses of Romans and 16:25-27 are the closing verses. These bookmarks tell us that Pauls great burden in Romans is a gospel of God that, just like we saw above in Acts 17, is about how Jesus is now Israels King and the King of the nations and that the goal is obedience to the faith among the nations. Since this is clearly Pauls message, we and our children should expect to interpret and apply everything else in the book of Romans in line with that message and with the priorities of God reflected in that message.
ROMANS 1:29-30 They [those who have been given over to depraved minds] have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit
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and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents. . . (Also see II Timothy 3:2 for how evil men in the last days will be characterized by disobeying parents.)
So disobeying parents goes hand in hand with every other evil. The teaching of Proverbs 30:11-17 and the illustration of Ezekiel 22:7 would suggest that such scorn for parents is the foundational act of disobedience for these other evils.
ROMANS 12:9-13 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.
[Noting here that the word practicing is actually much stronger - could be rendered pursuing with vigorous effort] Thus we are to actively pursue, promote, and aspire to hospitality. We are to think about it, plan for it, prepare for it, pray about it, and seek opportunities to do it. . . Brothers and sisters, allow me to ask you the following questions. Do you eagerly pursue opportunities to practice hospitality, or is it something you do only on holidays and during special events? Do you understand the important role that hospitality has within the Christian community? Do you see the relationship between brotherly love and hospitality? Beloved, only when we understand that the Spirit of God commands us to practice hospitality will we be adequately motivated to sacrificially open our homes to others. (Strauch, 35)
1 CORINTHIANS 7:3-5 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Here is an important truth a wifes, and husbands, sexual desires and pleasures should be brought under the self-control needed so that they can be seen and used as gifts to their spouse. This is also an important help in training our children keep your sexual desires under Gods control so that you can save them for your future spouse.
I CORINTHIANS 7:14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
As soon as the Church entered the Christian era, and the believing Gentiles were by faith added to it, the children of those believing Gentiles are declared to be federally holy (I Cor 7:14). The reference to being unclean or holy is, as we know, not to their spiritual standing but their federal [covenantal] standing; in other words, it means that the children of believing parents, due solely to their being their children (even if only one of the two parents is a believer) are constituted holy in this federal sense, or rather, they are reckoned within the Covenant, and so in the Church. (Kirkby, 62-63) Here is great hope and comfort for parents who have unbelieving and unfaithful spouses.
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1 CORINTHIANS 10:1-4 Moreover, brethren, I do not want you to be unaware that all our fathers were under the cloud, all passed through the sea, all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, all ate the same spiritual food, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that Rock was Christ.
The fact that the children were included in this baptism and in this eating and drinking provides further evidence of how the children are included in the life and blessings of the visible people of God. The fact that many would later become idolaters (see 10:5-10) does not change that God included them. This challenges our way of thinking, but from Pauls testimony here and the testimony of the rest of Scripture, it appears to be Gods way of identifying his visible people.
1 CORINTHIANS 11:1-16 Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings, just as I passed them on to you. Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head-- it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head. In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice-- nor do the churches of God.
The principle of male headship, grounded as it is in the created order, is to be recognized and upheld particularly as Gods people gather in His holy presence for worship. (Bordwine, 56) Paul says the woman is the glory of man (probably building on the picture of Adam joyfully receiving Eve from God see Gen 2:19-24). A mans wife should know in her heart that she is her husbands glory, even on days where her behavior is not all he might hope for.
I CORINTHIANS 14:33B-35 As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church. (In view of I Corinthians 11:5 above, it is probable that the Apostle Paul is not here giving an absolute prohibition against women speaking in church. He seems to be prohibiting them from speaking in leadership or teaching capacities where men and women are present [also see I Timothy 2:11-15]. See D.A. Carson in Piper, Recovering, chapter 6 for a well-reasoned discussion of these verses.)
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[The husband] must instruct [his wife] in the word of God, and direct her in particular duties, and help her to subdue her own corruptions, and labour to confirm her against temptations; if she doubt of any thing that he can resolve her in, she is to ask his resolution, and he is to open to her at home the things which she understood not in the congregation, I Cor. 14:35. (Richard Baxter, as quoted in Ptacek, 52) Many contemporary women might wonder at [this instruction in I Cor 14:35]: Why should I ask him? He doesnt know! This is because men have neglected the charge which Scripture gives to all husbands. Men believe they do not have to know because they believe they have no responsibilities of instruction. (Wilson, Federal, 24)
GALATIANS 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
If you take seriously the callings presented in this material, you will appreciate that they can only be carried out faithfully and fruitfully through the power of the crucified and Risen Son of God.
GALATIANS 6:1-2 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. 2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Spiritual means one under the control of Gods Spirit (see 5:16-26). A helpful picture of this type of spiritual restoring is to imagine the one overtaken with a heavy burden of his sin and failure. The believer controlled by Gods Spirit will get up under that burden with him with gentleness and love. The one who is not spiritual will act so as to lecture and condemn and will only make the burden greater. Which of those two ways would your children say you relate to them when they are overtaken by sin?
Note for Ephesians 5:22 6:4 These exhortations for the relationship of husband of wife (5:22 33) and parents and children (6:1-4) follow Pauls exhortation for the church to be filled with the Spirit (5:18). In Ephesians filled recalls the temple/city being filled with Gods glory that will spread to the nations (see, for instance, Psalm 48, Psalm 87; Isa 2:1-5; Isa 60-66; Ezekial 4048) since the Jew and Gentile church is now the temple (Ephesians 2:18-22; also see 3:19 for another exhortation to be filled in the manner the temple was filled). All of this suggests that Paul sees husband wife and parent child relationships as one central way the church shows it is the new covenant temple, filled with Gods glory as a means of Gods glory and rule being seen and spread. It is also how spiritual powers that oppose God know they are defeated (see Eph 6:10-18)! All of this illustrates what the Bible and history is about: God makes all things, then through Jesus, the seed of Abraham and David, and through the Holy Spirit, defeats sin and death and brings creation to rest as he (1) claims, cleanses, and blesses his people as a holy nation and royal priesthood; (2) brings his heavenly glory and rule to earth by making the world his holy temple-city; (3) and judges all that stands against him. Our God reigns! EPHESIANS 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
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In the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction. (Ortlund, 99) He who is the Ultimate Authority chose to describe a mans role in the home as head. Those were His choice of words, not mine. It is Gods Word. The order have already been delivered, once for all, to husbands and fathers. We are commanded to lead; it isnt optional. (Weber, 85) Paul most emphatically does not say that husbands ought to be the heads of their wives. He says that they are. . .Because the husband is the head of the wife, he finds himself in a position of inescapable leadership. (Wilson, Reforming, 22) It could be that a wifes understanding of true biblical submission has been greatly distorted. Distrust and hostility towards biblical submission in our society is rampant. And because of the lack of clear faithful teaching, that same distrust and hostility often exists within the Christian community. One common misunderstanding is that submission of a wife to her husband is a burden, a cross that the wife must bear. However, this is counter to the Bibles true teaching. The submission of a godly wife is more than a duty, it should be her hearts delight. (Peace, 131) The shadow of [the husbands] authority falls with no chill upon [his wifes] heart, when she views it only as the grateful shade from the scorching heats of life. Her subjection to it takes on a religious character. It is of the nature of submission to the Divine sovereignty, of resignation to the Divine will, of obedience to the Divine authority, of rest upon the Divine support, of enjoyment in the Divine fellowship. (Palmer, 71)
EPHESIANS 5:25-33 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery-- but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Again and again, week after week, day after day, a man needs to ask himself, Am I loving my wife as Christ loves the church? When he sees his failure he must cry out to God for more grace. There is vast significance in the fact that with him love is a primary duty, binding upon the conscience, and not simply a blind instinct, operating mechanically, like that of a brute. It is a force which he originates, and for the perpetuation of which he is made therefore responsible. It is to be henceforth the law of his life, and the spring of all his actions towards her who by that love has been won to his embrace. He is constituted the guardian of that which all true marriage has its life and being. (Palmer, 28-29) In this passage of Ephesians, Paul does not require that husbands imitate the Lord in His sentiment toward His Church; they are to imitate Him in His actions toward her. . .A man must love his wife sacrificially, and he must not expect anything but weeds unless he tends the garden with extraordinary care. (Wilson, Reforming, 52, 42) (Speaking about the man who comes home and watches TV, reads the paper, etc, with no interest in ministering to his wife) To this man, a wife exists to care for his needs, the house, the children, the pets - in that order. Instead of viewing his home as a place to love, serve, and lead, he sees it as a place to rest himself, refresh himself, and amuse himself. (Hardenbrook, 86)
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EPHESIANS 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother - which is the first commandment with a promise - that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. (Also see Colossians 3:20.)
Gods Word has more than once taught that obedience is the childs first virtue. He is to obey, not because he understands or approves, but because the parent commands. In this he is to become the master of his own will by voluntarily submitting to a higher authority. Obedience from this principle will secure a double blessing for the child. While guiding the will for forming right habits, it strengthens the control the child has over his will. When this has been attained, a sure foundation has been laid for the exercise of the childs free will choosing what appears to him to be the best. (Murray, 139) The most important lesson for the child to learn [from the period of birth to age four or five] is that HE IS AN INDIVIDUAL UNDER AUTHORITY. . .It means doing what he is told; Without challenge, without excuse, and without delay. (Tripp, 155) A child who is controlled and knows the boundaries, knows that his little will is not going to rule the roost, that arguing, temper tantrums and disobedience will not be allowed, is a happy, content and secure child. (Skogan, 26)
EPHESIANS 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Also see Col. 3:21.)
The nurture of the Lord is to bring up the child that he may be a vessel equipped for the Masters use, with every ability of spirit, soul, and body prepared for doing His will. (Murray, 279) It is interesting that when the New Testament command is given to bring our children up in the training and instruction of the Lord, it is not given to mothers (though it certainly applies). It is not even given to parents (though it also applies to the team). Fathers are the ones who are singled out in Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21. The implication is that when the Lord one day inquires about your children, he will ask you, their father, first. (Ken Canfield in 7 Secrets of an Effective Father, as quoted in Ptacek, 70) The family unit has within itself an authority structure wherein the father is the head authority. I submit that this principle of authority while it is so crucial to a leaders development, is ironically one that is continually overlooked in current [church] ministry planning. This oversight is taking the emphasis away from fathers and in effect, neutering them, leading them to be dependent upon church programs to lead their households. . . The current ministry approach wars against the father developing a common ministry vision for his household. (Wallace, 37) Leadership necessarily involves initiative. Many men have blurred the (admittedly fine) distinction between being the head of the home and being a queen bee. A slug on the sofa may be waited on, but he is not exercising godly leadership. In Ephesians 5:25, and 6:4, the verbs love and bring up are active verbs. . . So masculine initiative means watching over the family without prompting, and it means seeking information about the children from the wife at his instigation. (Wilson, Standing, 15) Seeking information (see above) means that when Dad hits the front door he should be mentally and spiritually ready to know about the children and his wifes perception of how they are doing and where there needs to be teaching, encouragement, rejoicing, confronting, and discipline. He should be happy and thankful in doing this; otherwise, his wife might feel like a nag and his children will feel discouraged.
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COLOSSIANS 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Harshness with wives often reflects a husbands distancing himself from his wifes sin and struggles Boy, she has problems! But a biblical understanding of the covenant of marriage and the husbands responsibility would show him that this is never legitimate and is deeply hurtful and discouraging for his wife. His wifes sin and struggles is his responsibility. He can never detach himself from it in Gods eyes, even if he tries to in his own eyes. There is many a pug who is convinced he would not be a real man, if once in many weeks he spoke a kind word to his wife. He stalks about the house and sits at table like one who is mute, speaking to his wife only when he decides to rattle her ears and sink her heart by reprimanding whatever she has said or done, even when her actions are well-intentioned and blameless. Such monsters should have become monks and hermits rather than husbands, for they are more at home in the forest with wild animals than in a house at the side of a rational wife. (Taken from a sermon by a seventeenth century Lutheran pastor, as quoted in Ozment, 54) When the husband humbles himself before God to overcome a harsh or irritable spirit, it provides hope to his wife that she can overcome harshness with the children.
COLOSSIANS 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
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COLOSSIANS 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Possible ways to embitter your children: Fail to demonstrate biblical love by being impatient, unkind, etc. (See I Cor. 13:4-7) Fail to live as an example of the believer Seek to become the ultimate authority in the life of your child instead of showing him you are under Gods authority Act in an inconsistent manner in front of, or toward, your child Neglect your child by not spending time with him, failing to listen, etc. (From Self-Confrontation Manual, 10-13) The calm, quiet assertion of authority by the parent helps the child to acknowledge the justice of his punishment. However, instead of calmly disciplining the child, the parent gives way to anger and passion with a sharp reproof or hasty punishment. When this happens, the child also becomes angry and upset about an infliction which he does not understand. (Murray, 274) Suddenly we blow up and grab little Johnny. We throw him across our knee and then really let him have it, giving him a spanking like he has never had before in his life. Somehow we think that this spanking is going to make up for all the little irritating things Johnny has done throughout the day. But it just doesnt work that way. We have administered the rod, yes, but not any kind of correction. Johnny doesnt remember half of those little things he did. He cant relate the spanking to any of those things except, perhaps, the last. If weve been letting him get away with a lot of things during the day and suddenly we release all the pressure that has built up in us upon him, thats punishment. The spanking is a release for us, not correction for him. Were taking out our frustrations upon his bottom, thats all. . . A good spanking at the end of the day can never make up for the spankings that ought to have been administered throughout the day. (Ray, 106) Note the context of Colossians 3:18-21. These instructions come within the context of teaching about the life of the church. So household life should first be carried out as church life! This understanding is affirmed by the whole teaching of Scripture and is vital for maintaining a right balance between stressing household life but always carrying it out in accountability and obligation to, and fellowship with, the body of Christ.
I TIMOTHY 2:9-15 I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be saved through childbearing - if they continue in faith, love, and holiness with propriety.
We think I Tim. 2:8-15 imposes two restrictions on the ministry of women: they are not to teach Christian doctrine to men and they are not to exercise authority directly over men in the church. These restrictions are permanent, authoritative for the church at all times and places and circumstances as long as men and women are descended from Adam and Eve. (Moo, 180) Although Pauls words could be interpreted as implying that Adam would not have succumbed to Satans temptation, we see no need to engage in such speculation. The fact is that Satan attacked Eve who, according to the order of creation, was under the protective authority of Adam. Satans tactic was shrewd. He did not confront the leader of the relationship, he came to the follower. He did not tempt the one with authority, he tempted the one under authority. Eve, the one under authority, was deceived because she did
66 not let Adam, the one with authority, respond to the temptation. She independently weighed Satans remarks and, contrary to what God intended, she acted. The point, once again, is the consequence of disregarding Gods order of authority. (Bordwine, 187) It is our conviction that even when the Bible teaches a doctrine that we find difficult to accept, even when the Bible teaches a doctrine that our society refuses to acknowledge, what the Bible teaches is, nonetheless, the only legitimate position on the subject. Every field of knowledge, every institution and every philosophy is subject to the teaching of the Bible. (Bordwine, 13)
I TIMOTHY 3:4-5, 12 [The overseer or elder] must manage his own family well and see that children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of Gods church?). . . A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well.
In I Timothy 3:1-3, Paul uses one to five words (New King James translation) in describing various qualifications for church elders in verses 1-3. But then he devotes thirty-eight words to describing this qualification related to family management. Paul in effect presents an argument: good family leadership must be one of the criteria for appointment to a position of overseer because the very same skills and competencies are required for overseeing ones own house and the Christian house. [see I Tim. 3:14-15]. (Poythress, 236) Upon this rock [I Timothy 3:4-5,12 and Titus 1:6] must finally shatter every attempt to argue that parents are not directly accountable for the spiritual issue of their childrens lives. (Rayburn, 21)
TITUS 1:6 An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.
Why do we resist openly homosexual pastors and elders? Because the Scriptures prohibit it. Why do we tolerate pastors with poorly managed homes? The Scriptures prohibit that just as clearly. . . if we were to obey the requirement of Scripture, how many pulpits in our country would be empty next Sunday? (Wilson, Standing, 45) [Speaking of the effects of seeing the church as an organization rather than a household - see I Tim. 3:14-15 below] Perhaps most tragic, leaders of the church are seen as professionally trained ministers, not fathers who have their households in order. (Wallace, 35) Furthermore, when young people are given to sin, they are not the only parties covenantally responsible before God. So are their parents (I Sam. 3:13; Prov 22:6; Titus 1:6). (Hagopian, 103)
I TIMOTHY 3:14-15 I am writing these things to you, hoping to come to you before long; but in case I am delayed, I write so that you may know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth.
The order of the church is analogous to the order of a human household. Members of the church are to treat one another as they would members of their own family (I Timothy 5:1-2). They are to care for one another in need (I Tim. 5:5,16). The overseers are to be men skillful at managing the household of God, as demonstrated by their earlier skill with their own immediate families (I Tim. 3:1-7). (Poythress, 236)
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When the skills and experiences required in our modern church organization and management seems to have little or no overlap with household management/shepherding skills, then we need to stop and take stock. Is our church organization and approach to ministry and impact out of whack? Or is this whole household emphasis and connection for church leadership out of whack? The Scripture would seem to clearly indicate that our soul searching and possible adjustments in thinking and practice should be focused on the former question.
1 TIMOTHY 5:3-8 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
I TIMOTHY 5:9,10 No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds. II TIMOTHY 1:5; 3:14-15 I have been reminded of your [writing to Timothy] sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. . .But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
Quote from Puritan Cotton Mather - The great care of my godly parents was to bring me up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; whence I was kept from many visible outbreakings of sin which else I had been guilty of; and whence it was that I had many good impressions of the Spirit of God upon me, even from my infancy. (Ryken, 84) The most important habit a parent can cultivate in a child is that of a trustful acceptance of all that God has said. (Murray, 291) So Timothys mother and grandmother understood that Gods design is to raise our Christian children as Christian children from infancy, teaching them the Scriptures as we would any other saint. What should we think about our children? . . . They are raised in the faith: Genesis 18:19; Deut 6:4-9; Psalm 71:5-6; 2 Timothy 3:15 . . . Discipling, not evangelism, is the pattern that is, we constantly assure them of Gods love and call on them to live out what they profess (as we do with adults). (Dr. Jack Collins, Children and Communion, page 1. Internet source, 2002. Access at: http://www.prpc-stl.org)
TITUS 2:3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women
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to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
In the Church of Jesus Christ, women who are living the faith consistently and who understand Gods intentions concerning male-female role relationships are given a ministry of mentoring other women so that Gods institutions (in this case, home and church) operate regularly. The pa ttern taught by Paul in these verses ensures peace in the local church, as women do what God intends women to do in the way of ministry, and in the home, as women are what God intends women to be in terms of role relationships. This model ensures a sense of purposefulness and fulfillment for all women as they learn what constitutes Christian womanhood and then pass along that knowledge to others. (Bordwine, 275) Two things to note here: First, the best training grounds for this ministry is godly house holds, godly marriages, and wives who are actively being what they are trying to help the younger wives be. Second, husbands should take leadership in giving their wives the vision and encouragement to minister to other wives through natural contacts and as an extension of their household life. The tendency to use these verses as a mandate for separated womens ministries tends to undercut all of the above and can actually lead to Titus 2 ministry that undercuts the very curriculum described in these verses. Instead of women who are busy at home it can lead to women who are busy outside the home in womens ministry, and instead of women subject to their husbands and finding their place alongside them it can lead to women who are subject to the leaders of the womens ministry and who find their place under their leadership. So here is an aspect of the biblical household emphasis that should have direct bearing on the way we think about and organize church ministry. Homemaking. . . is not a destructive drought of usefulness but an overflowing oasis of opportunity; it is not a dreary cell to contain ones talents and skills but a brilliant catalyst to channel creativity and energies into meaningful work; it is not a rope for binding ones productivi ty in the marketplace, but reins for guiding ones posterity in the home; it is not oppressive restraint of intellectual prowess for the community, but a release of wise instruction to your own household; it is not the bitter assignment of inferiority to your person, but the bright assurance of the ingenuity of Gods plan for complementarily of the sexes, especially as worked out in Gods plan for marriage; it is neither limitation of gifts available nor stinginess in distributing the benefits of those gifts, but rather the multiplication of a mothers legacy to the generations to come and the generous bestowal of all God meant a mother to give to those He entrusted to her care. (Patterson, 377)
HEBREWS 12:5-11 And you have forgotten that word of encoura gement that addresses you as sons: My son, do not make light of the Lords discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produced a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
To bring up my children under Gods authority means that parental guidance and correction is intended to be a reflection of Gods dealings with his spiritual offspring. Not only should the child see the authority of God behind the authority of the parent, but the child should also see the manner and attitude of God reflected in the parent as he administers discipline and correction in His name. Gods goodness, Gods justice, Gods mercy, Gods loving concern, and Gods care for his people should all be identifiable in the
69 parents approach to discipline. In effect, through administering biblical correction the parent is preaching a sermon to his child. (Ray, 60) Could it be that the failure of many churches to practice discipline within the body (Matthew 18:15-20) is a reflection of fathers not disciplining their sons and daughters in the home? Discipline within the family is to be carried out with the purest love. It is not to be done with rancor. Just as our Heavenly Father disciplines us with love, so are we to discipline our children in love and the church is to discipline unrepentant believers in love. Perhaps the vindictive-dearth-of-love view of discipline that pervades many churches today is a result of parents not disciplining their children according to our Heavenly Fathers loving example. (Wallace, 28)
HEBREWS 12:28 Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.
Throughout this material, we have seen that God says that the fear of the Lord is essential for blessing to us and our children. Here we see clearly that the such godly fear is a gift of grace. One of the clearest demonstrations of the fear of the Lord is parents who take responsibility for their sin and confess it to their spouse and children with no excuse.
HEBREWS 13:1,2 Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.
If love does not issue in a hospitable home, it has scarcely begun to work it all. (Brown)
HEBREWS 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
[As an application of the idea that the church, in addressing homosexual sin, has to take responsibility by living Gods righteousness in heterosexual purity] . . . Second, we should reestablish explicit moral instruction, especially regarding sexual ethics, in church membership classes. Prospective church members should recognize that joining Christs body requires the death of their sexual immorality, the crucifixion of the old man with his passions and desires. Such instruction must be coupled with enforcement of church discipline for unrepentant sexual immorality. We cant offer healing to the world, if we are sick and unwilling to take the medicine ourselves. (Rigney) Christians should have no involvement with practices that reflect the worlds recreational view of sex. The marriage bed should be kept pure which means the pleasure found there should reflect the Christ-filled unity of husband and wife and not the worlds cheap tricks that only create external unity and often mask spiritual disunity.
1 PETER 3:1-6 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead,
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it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Quiet confidence in God produces in a woman the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, but it also enables her to submit to her husbands authority without fear that it will ultimately be harmful to her well-being or her personhood. (Grudem, 201) In an age when submission to authority is frequently denigrated and thought to be degrading and dehumanizing,, Peters words remind us that submission to rightful authority is beautiful and right in Gods world. (Grudem, 205) The unbelieving husband sees this behavior and deep within perceives the beauty of it. Within his heart there is a witness that this is right, this is how God intended men and women to relate as husband and wife. He concludes, therefore, that the gospel that his wife believes must be true as well. Perhaps, indeed, he sees his wifes submission to him in contrast with his o wn refusal to submit to God, who is infinitely more worthy of his submission, and is convicted of his own sinfulness by it. (Grudem, 203) Women in the position described here presents a shepherding opportunity for church leadership and for Titus 2 older women. Unfortunately, the frequent approach is to build various ministries in the church that can keep these women busy in ministry and give them a sense of spiritual place since their husbands are not providing it. But this is exactly opposite of what Peter would seem to imply is needed. The real emphasis should be to lovingly but clearly help them see that their place is in Christ a nd in obedience to God and then alongside their husband, imperfect as he is. (How many unbelieving husbands have been driven farther from Christ and His church when the church allows, and even encourages, their wives to find their spiritual and emotional fulfillment in church work and relationships?) Their primary ministry in life is precisely and clearly described in these verses. Is this a challenge to help a woman see and seize this? Absolutely. Will many women go find another church down the road that will give them what they want? Surely. But this is Gods path to blessing for her, the example of hope, unity, and submission that she needs in order to teach and reach the hearts of her children, the path of redemption for her husband and the path of obedience and true compassion for church leadership and older women who are fulfilling true Titus 2 ministry.
I PETER 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
The immediate context (see 2:12 3:13) suggests that considerate and respect are especially given when faced with sin in the wife that inconveniences or frustrates her husband. When a husband shows this consideration through the strength that Christ provides (2:21-25), he creates an atmosphere in which his wife feels the security and confidence to open her heart to him so he can shepherd her. This is a great privilege for a man! Peters telling husbands that their wives are joint heirs of the grace of life reminds them that, even though they have been given greater authority within marriage, their wives are still equal to them in spiritual privilege and eternal importance. (Grudem, 207) Let me ask you a question: What would your business look like if you applied the same amount of mental and emotional energy to it that you do to understanding your wife? Am I far off the mark when I say most of America would be bankrupt? Use your head, men. Think it through. Work hard at it. Dont give up. Understand. Become a student of your wife and live in light of that knowledge. (Weber, 121)
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So a Christian husband should respect the weakness of his wife, treating her as Christ does the church, protecting and watching over her without being condescending. The weakness Pete r mentions is Gods design, not her fault. It is not a fault at all. Weakness is only a fault if it falls short of the design. A china cup is weaker than the five-pound sledge. . .but a hammer is no good at all for drinking purposes. (Wilson, Reforming, 35) Well, my wife knows that I esteem her, many a husband would say. But what would she say? Men should learn to esteem women in general, and in particular, the woman God has given them. When we hear men complaining, I just cant understand my wife! we should say something like this: I cant understand mine either, but Im glad I cant. The complexities of her mind and emotions are wonderful and beautiful, and it opens up a whole new world for me and provides different and fascinating perspectives that help me in every part of my life, especially in parenting our children. It would be a great loss to me if I could understand her since that would mean she would be like me, like a man. So concerned is God that Christian husbands live in an understanding and loving way with their wives that He interrupts His relationship with them [so that nothing will hinder your prayers] when they do not do so! (Grudem, 208)
I PETER 3:8-12 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.
This is radical stuff, especially the part about returning a blessing when someone reviles you. Jesus set the benchmark for such behavior (2:21-23), is the Shepherd who strengthens to do it (2:24-25), and is the exalted Lord who points to such behavior of evidence of his glory (3:21-22; 3:14-15). The context (see 2:10 3:22) suggests this is to be done in relation to unbelievers, believers, and in marriage. We should yearn and pray for our children to be radical enough to return blessings for revilings by instructing them, setting an example for them in our marriage and relationships with others, and giving them a vision of how this will show good works that help unbelievers glorify God (2:12).
I PETER 4:8-10 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
As Christians, therefore, we should press ourselves to the full extent in loving one another. One very practical way to exert our love is to show hospitality. Hospitality fuels the flames of love. It promotes and preserves love. It enriches and deepens agape love. It renews love. Hence, Peter naturally follows his exhortation to love fervently with the command to practice hospitality gladly. . . The main emphasis of Peters exhortation is on the phrase in verse 9, without complaint (without murmuring or grumbling). Complaining does not promote love; it promotes disharmony, discouragement, and discontentment. The opposite of complaining is gladness - the willingness to cheerfully accept the inconvenience, labor, and cost of hospitality. Hospitality is a form of giving, and God loves a cheerful giver (2 Cor. 9:7). So let us ask God to give us a cheerful spirit as we practice hospitality . . . Hospitality is a vehicle through which a number of spirituals gifts [in reference to verse 10 above] are practically displayed - mercy, serving, giving, evangelizing, helps, etc. (Strauch, 37-39)
REVELATION 2:4
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"Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.
In these verses we see that the Christians at Ephesus, though faithful in many areas of doctrine and life, had lost their first love. This included their love for Christ and their love for each other that flows from our life with Christ. Such supernatural love is the best sign of whether we are truly Gods and are partaking of the gospel life. Now I recognize that these verses do not focus directly on household issues or life. But it provides a good opportunity to make an observation: a biblical emphasis on household life helps bring men, women, and children back to these most basic issues. Consider the fact that so much of church ministry involvement can be done without having to deal deeply with issues of our character, with the call to dying to self, to love, forgiveness, honoring our authorities. We can normally manage to keep our superficial Christian veneer together when it only requires a few hours a week of worship attendance and ministry involvement. But we cant pull this one off in our home! So when the church leadership honors Gods household and generational emphasis in its approach to church life and ministry, shepherding the sheep toward the daily manifestations of the fruits of the Spirit and the Lordship of Christ in home life, we see a renewed openness to deeper confession, repentance, and transformation. In other words, we see a renewed interest in the gospel in all its glorious applications, the prime one which is love.
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Marcel, Pierre Ch., The Biblical Doctrine of Infant Baptism McDannell, Coleen, The Christian Home in Victorian American, 1840-1900, Indiana University Press Moo, Douglas, What Does It Mean Not to Teach or Have Authority Over Men? in Piper and Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Crossway Books Murray, Andrew, How to Bring Your Children to Christ, Whitaker House Ortlund, Raymond C., Male-Female Equality and Male Headship: Genesis 1-3, in Piper and Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Crossway Books Ozment, Steven, When Fathers Ruled: Family Life in Reformation Europe, Harvard University Press Palmer, B.M., The Family, in its Civil and Churchly Aspects, Sprinkle Publications, Harrisonburg, Virginia, 1981 Ptacek, Kerry, Family Worship, Greenville Presbyterian Seminary Patterson, Dorothy, The High Calling of Wife and Mother in Biblical Perspective, in Piper and Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Crossway Books Peace, Martha, The Excellent Wife, Focus Publishing Piper, John, A Vision of Biblical Complementarity: Manhood and Womanhood Defined, in Piper and Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Crossway Books Poythress, Vern, The Church as Family, in Piper and Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Crossway Books Pullen, Barksdale, Children in Worship: A Covenantal Approach, in Equip, May/June, 2000 Ray, Bruce, Withhold Not Correction, Pres. And Reformed Publishing Rayburn, Robert S., The Presbyterian Doctrines of Covenant Children, Covenant Nurture, and Covenant Succession, Unpublished Paper Rigney, Joe, Turning Babel into a Beast, www.trinityhouseinstitute.com Ryken, Leland, Worldly Saints: The Puritans as They Were, Zondervan Schlect, Christopher R, A Critique of Modern Youth Ministry, Canon Press Schreiner, Thomas R., Head Coverings, Prophecies and the Trinity, in Piper and Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Crossway Books Skogan, Kevin, Unpublished notes from Sunday School class
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