Nava 1

Hector Nava
Writing 2
De Piero, Zack
Rap: Sex, Drugs, Love, Change
Genres are literally everywhere. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines genre as the
following: a category of artistic, musical, or literary composition characterized by a particular

Commented [1]: This is true, Hector, but can you find

a way to "hook" me a bit more? Your title was really
neat; try to find a similar start to your paper.

style, form, or content. This is a very formal definition, but an even better way to think about
genre would be to, Think about genres as tools to help people get thing done. Devitt writes that:
genres have the power to help or hurt human interaction, to ease communication or to deceive, to
enable someone to speak or to discourage someone from saying something different. (Dirk,
252) To this day most people still associate rap with drugs, sex, gangs, and violence, but that
isnt always the caseespecially now with rappers like Hopsin, Logic and J. Cole. Rappers are
revolutionizing the rap genre and sending positive messages through their lyrics. They do this by
telling stories, keeping a rhyme scheme, and still having some of the negative conventions that
typical rap songs have.

Commented [2]: It's tough for me to tell who is

saying/writing what here.
Whenever the quote (" ") starts, that signals to the
reader a direct (word for word) citation is coming up.
I need you to work on this and clear it up; feel free to
talk with me before/after class on some ways to do this.
Commented [3]: How does this sentence connect with
the previous one? All of a sudden, you were talking
about genres and human interaction, and then -BOOM, rap, sex, drugs...
How are these ideas connected? Whatever the
answer(s) is, you need to build that in more explicitly so
that I (your reader) can see how they're interconnected.
Commented [4]: This thesis statement's not too
shabby, Hector -- nice going. :)

These songs are all considered to be a part of the rap genre and they all have positive
messages, but the way they are delivered are quite different. Hopsin does so by facing the
problem head on and addressing how rap has affected societythe younger populationin a
negative way; J Cole, on the other hand, sends his message through the use of an argument, and
Logic give his message through his own life experience.
Hopsins song may be an older one, but its message is still very relevant to this day. Ill
Mind of Hopsin 5 is the name of Hopsins song. The lyrics of this song talk about how people

Some questions to bump it up to the next level: is there

anything else to it? The rhyme scheme seems pretty
obvious, so what else is there to say? And are they
doing this all the same, or is there any difference in
these rappers and their lyrics? How can you raise the
stakes of this argument?
And what are these negative conventions all about? I
really like the "positive message' yet "negative
conventions" aspect that you mentioned -- that's a nice
built-in tension, and tension typically provides grounds
for an interesting argument.
Commented [5]: What songs? You haven't mentioned
any songs yet.
Commented [6]: See if you can combine these two
sentences and, in the process, shave off a few words.

Nava 2

of this new generation are being consumed by what they hear in songs. When I say the word
fun, what do you envision? Probably drinking and smoking out with your crew and chilling with
clueless women you try and bang, bumping new edition. (Hopsin) The first third of the song is a
wake-up call directed toward the young adultsmillennialswho feel like they are self-entitled
people and must do no work to obtain what they desire. This third also functions as a criticism to
how we have been influenced by other rap songs depict drugs, alcohol, and women as views of a
fun and lavish life. In the second third of the lyrics, Hopsin goes on to discuss the problems with
women, more specifically those that make poor decisions in life and have tendencies to try to get
into relationships only for the possible benefits it appears to have. Even though these lyrics may
seem misogynistic to all women, the listener must reader that they are meant only for women
who fool themselves and that their sole purpose is to get them to realize that they have to change

Commented [7]: This comment is in reference to the

whole paragraph:
When I see thiseven before I start readingI think,
Ahhhhhhh! Attack of the page-long paragraph!
See if you like this metaphor:
Pretend your whole paper is a big, juicy steak. Do you
want your reader to enjoy that steak in easy-to-chew,
digestable bites? Or do you want them to start
gnawing away at whole thing in one piece (think:
zombie).
Paragraphs are like those bites. Give your reader
your argument in little, digestable, one-idea-at-a-time
bits.
Readers need to be able to see the different
parts/pieces/bites of the argument that theyre chewing
on.
Commented [8]: Are you making an argument about
how each rapper constructs his/her songs? Ie,
Hopsin's song/songs is divided into 3 parts?
Commented [9]: Do you mean the 2nd verse here?
How are you separating this tune into 3rds? On what
basis?

if they wish to live better lifes. African Americans are the final kind of people to be
acknowledge in this song. Hopsin refers to African Americans as Neanderthals for being in
gangs and going around killing each other committing crimes. He also asks the question, what a
real ni**a is, referring to how most people think being a ni**a is someone who is a badass, but
Hopsin would define it differentlymore like a person who has his life together and doesnt
need to prove anything to anyone, but himself. Ill Mind of Hopsin 5 is a fighting song trying to
address various problems in our society, trying to get the younger members of society to learn
that they must work hard if they wish to get anything done. Hopsin lyrics address the who

Commented [10]: What's this paragraph ultimately

"about"? Is it about the kinds of people who are
acknowledged in his songs? The way this paragraph
has gone the last handful of sentences, that's what it
seems to be about.
If that's the case, then I'd suggest working that into
your topic sentence -- use your TP to give your readers
an overview of what's coming up. The more they know
about where you're taking them (in the paragraph) the
easier a time they'll have following you b/c they'll know
what to expect.
Commented [11]: This sounds like it's coming right
back to your argument, which is great -- reminding your
reader of this from time to time is a great idea.

cares? which literally asks you to identify a person or group who cares about your
claim (Saying Why It Matters, 93). Upon reading the lyrics its noticeable that the younger
populations s the being targeted. This song is like an assailant to all other rap song that depict
the famous, drug, cool, gangster life. Hopsin wrote it to bring awareness to the influence of the

Commented [12]: I think that this could be a very

strong aspect of your paper -- run with this a little bit
more. Tell me more.
(Also, I think that you're jamming way too much into
this paragraph. Remember: bites.)

Nava 3

rap genre in our society today and to get those have been affected by it in a negative way to get
their life in order and change before its too late.
Life is important, but deciding whether to give it or end it before it begins is just as
important. J. Coles song, Lost Ones, is literally a debate about the topic of abortions. What
makes this rap song unique, besides its message, is its convention of having a back and forth
argumentof course giving from two different point-of-views. The premise of this song is a

Commented [13]: This sentence took me a couple

read-throughs to understand. Can you try to find a way
to re-phrase it and simplify it?
Also, this doesn't really tell me what's coming up in the
paragraph.
Commented [14]: ?

young man gets a young woman pregnant and now they must decide what to do, whether to have
the child or for the woman to get an abortion. The lyrics of this song depict that man as scared
and lost about having a child; these feeling/emotions help the listener to make a connection
between this character and themselves by expressing how most men would actually feel if they
were in his situation. The man in this case sides with getting the abortion because he feels as if

Commented [15]: Does this connect with any of our

other course concepts?

having a child would be to overwhelming. J Coles lyrics, How we gon' raise a kid by ourself?
Handle biz by ourself A nigga barely over twenty, where the hell we gon' live? Where am I gon
get that money I refuse to bring my boy or my girl in this world When I ain't got shit to give 'em
And I'm not with them niggas who be knocking girls up and skate out Girl, you gotta think bout
how the options weigh out. Whats the way out? capture the mans insecurity spot on and make
the listener want to agree with what he is saying. Now on the other side we have the pregnant
woman who is certain that she will have this child because its her child and would not want to

Commented [16]: This is a super-long quote -- is all

this necessary? If so, why?
Whenever you quote over 3 lines, you need to use a
block quote. I uploaded to resources to GSpace (APA,
MLA) that'll tell you how to do that.

take a life. She attacks that man by calling him out saying how she anticipated this would happen
if she ever got pregnant and even comparing him to his dad who left him as child, putting into
question his manhood. The woman even mentions how the man hated that his father left him and
how he stated hed never leave his child. These couple of verses, would get the listener thinking

Commented [17]: Sounds to me like you might be

straying a bit from making an argument about writing
and how this piece was written... to, instead, telling me
about the song itself.

Nava 4

to themselves about who was right, the man or the woman; this is power that the rap genre can
have, it can make people think about a situation and analyze it, give them, the audience, a way
experience something new and poetic. This song is clearly meant for people who are in the same
shoes the couple form this piece or anyone interest in the topic of abortion, a very controversial
topic to this day. It is meant to demonstrate that there can be more than one correct view-point
and that both sides must always be taken into account when making life changing decisions.

Commented [18]: OK, so what's the greater "so what?

who cares?" point to be made here? How/why is this
significant towards your larger argument?

The rap genre can be and effective way to tell a life changing story that has the power to
change peoples lives. Logics Nikki, is great rap song about overcoming an addiction. What
makes this rap song unique is that the song is an analogy to cigarettes and nicotine. Logic does a
beautiful job at personifying nicotine and while keeping the lyrics almost as like a goodbye
letter. This song is the story of how Logic and his Nikki ended. When the song first introduces
Nikki, the listener can assume that Logic might have a really deep passion for someone, but as
soon as he mentions, You the only girl I need I gotta have you back even though you turn my

Commented [19]: Hector, Im wondering if your paper

would benefit from re-structuring the organization.
Instead of
-Source #1
-Source #2
-Source #3
Could your paper/argument unfold a more
integrated/interwoven way if you did something like:
-Idea #1 (and then incorporate sources 1, 2, 3)
-Idea #2 (and then incorporate sources 1, 2, 3)
-Idea #3 (and then incorporate sources 1, 2, 3)?

lungs black, (Logic) the connection can be made that that Nikki represents cigarettes. Through
the lyrics the listener gets a glimpse as to how dependent Logic was to cigarettes and how it was
not easy for him to end a cycle that he has been doing for some-time now. appeal to emotion
is called pathos. (Carroll, 53) and Logic uses his lyrics to appeal with all those who smoke and
are planning to quit. A great example to prove just how weak he was and connect a greater
emotional level with his audience are in his lyric, What will they write upon my grave A free
man born as a king, who died as a slave. (Logic) This lyric demonstrates that even he knew he
was beginning to have to control over his addiction, giving the song an even more relatable
scenario. By referring to cigarettes as a person, Logic manages to appeal to a younger audience

Commented [20]: You've kind of gotten "at this" a few

times in this paper -- worth making it a part of your
main argument?
Whenever you can spot a recurring thread like this, ask
yourself if it's worth making it one of your
goals/purposes for the whole paper.

Nava 5

and also make it possible for others to identify their addiction as someone rather than something,
causing people to be more likely to acknowledge them and take action. This rap song is not only
just a song its also a promise, because upon the release of this song, Logic promised that he
would never smoke ever again, probably inspiring his fans and others to quit too making a big
impact on their lives.
Many people may think that the rap genre is definitely not changing and think it will
continue to focus mainly of those vices mentioned at the beginning. Most rap songs do still
pertain to such group of rap and it is likely that many more similar rap songs will release in the

Commented [21]: This sentence changes directions a

few times. I'd suggest adding in some more
punctuation to help your reader get through it the way
that YOU intended them to, or, to chop it down and
simplify it.
Also, I remember in your thesis that you said the rhyme
scheme was a part of your argument (which didn't
seem too significant to me). Still, what happened to
that? That hasn't really surfaced in your analysis

future. One cannot deny that are changes being made in the genre, especially when one of the
most influential rappers of this generation, Kendrick Lamar, is an advocate of rap with stronger
more positive messages; along with Hopsin, J. Cole, and Logic, the rap genre is surely on its way
to changing.
The three songs rap songs mentioned all had positive messages to be heard, but they were
all told differently. Upon reading the lyrics its clear to notice that Hopsin is very direct with his
message while J. Cole and Logic prefer to tell their messages through a story, either way it is
easy for the listener to identify the main-point. The main difference between each of these three
songs are the topic each one chooses to address. Hopsin talks about society, J. Cole about love
for oneself, and Logic about overcoming obstacles; the main reason for this could be that each of
them sees such problem as having a bigger effect on society or themselvesits like J Coles
song, there are various viewpoints, especially when it comes to social problems.
The rap genre is constantly evolving and adapting to newer styles; rap songs with more
prominent positive messages are starting gain popularity because they keep the same conventions

Commented [22]: OK: now, how does this relate back

to studying genre (and conventions)?

Nava 6

commonly identified with the genrecursing, fast tempo, catchy chorus, misogyny, and drugs
but work with them to point them out and address such troublesome topics.

Works Cited
Carroll, Laura Bolin. Backpacks vs. Briefcases: Steps toward Rhetorical Analysis. Parlor Press,
2010
Dirk, Kerry. Navigating Genres. Parlor Press, 2010

Nava 7
Hopsin. ""Ill Mind Of Hopsin 5" Lyrics." HOPSIN LYRICS. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Apr. 2016.
<http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hopsin/illmindofhopsin5.html>.
J. Cole. "Lost Ones (Explicit Version) - J. Cole." - Google Play Music. Google, n.d. Web. 18 Apr.
2016.
<https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tp77gpuyb6yfouptsv6atcql26i?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&
utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics>.
Logic. "Nikki - Logic." - Google Play Music. Google, n.d. Web. 18 Apr. 2016.
<https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tbg6ernippgar3twvedraxltfy4?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&
utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics>.
Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 18 Apr. 2016. <http://www.merriamwebster.com/dictionary/genre>.
Saying Why It Matters.

Writing 2 Feedback Matrix for WP1

Table of Textual Features

Nava 8
Did Not Meet
Expectations
Thesis Statement

Met Expectations

X+

Use of Textual Evidence

from Genres

X/X-

Use of Course Readings

Analysis

X/X+

Organization/Structure

Attention to
Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors

Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow

X/X-

Other Comments

Exceeded
Expectations

Hector,
Solid work here, brother! This was an interesting piece to
read, and it seemed to me like you got into writing it, which
is always a great thing.
Please check out my feedback on some ways you can get
this to the next level for the portfolio. Youve given yourself
an excellent start, so you should be in good shape.
Z
8/10