Love Story: I Can't Live Without You

Lauren Kelly
Down Draft
March 25th 2015
URWT-1102-017
Love Story: Down Draft Version

To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in
sickness and health, until death do us part.
Imagine that you married the love of your life. You have been married for 63 years and
have seen your kids and grandkids grow up. You have been through a lot about have managed to
survive anything that life has thrown at you both. Expect for the moment when you know that
you spouse is about to pass. Now, you are sitting by the bedside of your spouse who isnt doing
great. Remembering all the good and bad times. Watching your wedding in your head, wishing
that you didnt have to say goodbye. The doctor comes in and says it is time to say goodbye. You
give them one last kissed and hold their hand til their body is cold. You cry, you go home and
sleep in a bed with just one person in it, you go out to eat and sit at a table for two. You can feel
your health decreasing and you dont know what to do. Either you tell your doctor and live on, or
you dont and you will be with your loved one in heaven shortly. What do you do?
Love story: I cant live without you
The famous movie The Notebook, by Nicholas Sparks, gives us the chance to explore a
relationship between two characters, Ally and Noah. Ali and Noah were in love as teenagers and
then as time went on they went spate directions. But they didnt stop them from loving each
other. They came back together, got married, and had children. Then in one of the last scenes,
they die together holding hands. Some people believe that this can happen and others dont. You
usually dont see couples dying together in the news unless it was a murder or a car accident.
However, in California last year the last scene of the Notebook came true. According to Nate
Jones, there once was a couple in California, named Don and Maxine Simpson. Don was a Civil
Engineer stationed in Bakersfield and one night he went to the local bowling alley and found the
love of his life Maxine. Don and Maxine were together for over 6 decades. They traveled the
world together, adopted two sons and watched their sons and grandchildren grow up. Maxine
was diagnosed with cancer and Don never left her side. Then when Don broke his hip, Maxine
never left his side. They were together forever. When there health started decreasing the family
decided to keep them at home in a relatives home. Maxine dead firsts, then when they were
taking her out of the room Don died. They both died holding each others hand, just like Ally and
Noah did in the Notebook.
Love Story: the Facts and Statistics
There is so much research and information about spouse death and the morality rate after
a spouse dies. A lot of psychologist and scientist have made experiments with the participants as
the elders. They have watched them remaining spouse and tried to figure out what really happens
once the spouse dies. Is there a time limit till they die? Is it more common to die in the first six
months of grieving? Is it common to die together like Don and Maxine did? In reality it is hard to
say when you are going to pass after your spouse dies. I personally feel that it depends on what
role you had in the relationship, if you have a good social life, and if your health is good for your
age. What I mean by what role do you have in the relationship is basically were you the one
cooking and cleaning or were you the one who went to work came up and didnt really help out
around the house. Therefore, when your spouse passes do you know how to take care of the
house and yourself? Having a good social life and social circle is great, for when you are sad and
grieving it is nice to know that you have someone to talk to. Plus, if you start feeling a lone one
afternoon you have someone to talk to for hours. As for health, if you truly cant take care of
yourself for maybe you were in a wheel chair or you dont have the ability to clean yourself the
correct way. With that it will be difficult to keep living without your spouse for they helped you
and now you have to change the way you live to help yourself, rather than be going to an
assistant living or a nursing home. However, even with my personally opinions on what will help
you survive when you spouse dies. It still doesnt justify the fact that you never know. Therefore,
that brings me to what the researchers are saying.
Some people may think that women are more likely to pass after their spouse. I can kind
of agree to that for the older generation the wife is just the caretaker, she doesnt usually have or
had a job in the past. However, according to Grieving Men at Increased Risk of Mortality after
Spouse Death, men who grieve after their wifes death are at a 30 per cent increased risk of
mortality within two years of the wives death. Now, you may be wondering why that is? Well,
according to Professor Javier Espinosa, When a wife dies, men are often unprepared. They
have often lost their caregiver, someone who cares for them physically and emotionally, and the
loss directly impacts the husbands health. Therefore, if males are more likely to die within the
first two years what happens to the females? Usually when the husband dies the wife knows how
to treat herself. She was the caregiver in the relationship. Usually what happens to the females is
that there health can decrease. However, we women can speak of for ourselves when we feel
depressed therefore, we can get cured and live on. Now, I am not saying that males are the only
ones who die after a spouse dies. It can happen to the females as well. It is most common that the
spouse dies within six years of the death. Some research says that the survival rate after a spouse
dies only goes to 13.5 years. According to Cecil Adams, the mortality risk is higher for
widows/widowers under age 55 when the bereavement was sudden, as from accident. For
widows/widowers in the 50-to-65-year range, the highest risk is when the spouse has died of
chronic illness. Several studies indicate the risk is lower when the widow/widower has family or
other social support and higher when the bereaved is socially isolated. Within, the research that I
have read there is real answer on to why the spouses die. A lot of research says that it may be due
to the role the spouse plays in the relationship, it depends on the spouses health before the death,
or it depends on if they had a live outside of the relationship. To me, I think that the cause of
death of a spouse after the spouse dies is determined by two factors, stress and grief. I like how
Cecil Adams talked about stress and grief and how those two things cause the deaths of spouses.
She states that, grief can lead to depression and its consequences. Stress can impair the immune
system, increasing susceptibility to disease, and trigger dangerous behavioral changes such as
higher cigarette and alcohol use.
Questions that I have
Does this make sense? What should I add? Is my work cited correct?
Works Cited
Adams, Cecil. "When One Spouse Dies Does the Surviving Spouse Tend to Follow Soon
Afterwards?" The Straight Dope:. 4 May 2007. Web. 29 Mar. 2015.
<http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2705/when-one-spouse-dies-does-the-survivingspouse-tend-to-follow-soon-afterwards>.
"Grieving Men at Increased Risk of Mortality after Spouse Death." Free Press Journal. 24
Oct. 2012. Web. 29 Mar. 2015.
Jones, Nate. "Couple Married for 62 Years Die on Same Day Holding Hands."
PEOPLE.com. 4 Aug. 2014. Web. 29 Mar. 2015. <http://www.people.com/article/marriedcouple-dies-hours-apart>.

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Lauren Kelly

Love Story: Down Draft Version

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