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4th Issue

APRIL FOOLS ISSUE 2013

Abiqua School is Moving....Again!

by Hayden Cole, Staff Writer

aff W Thank riters s f o r FOOL S ISS reading our UE of A News the Ab PRIL . . . . . i f names s i , or pi ome of the qua Star c s t t u ories, res s untru proba e, or made eem strange b u , puttin ly are - tha p......they ts the g toge issue! ther an Apr fun of il H Ha, H appy readi Fools a....He ng! e, Hee !

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Abiqua Quidditch Match

by Lindsey Williams, Staff Writer
(and Ravenclaw Chaser)

Guess what? The school is moving. again! Our principal has decided she will not tolerate the rain anymore and Oregon is not the place to be if you dislike the rain! Our school is moving to Arizona. Students are locked into attending the school, meaning they must make the journey to Arizona every day; there and back. They cannot leave the school or drop out during the day. All of Abiquas equipment, technology and textbooks will be sent via horseback to the new location. Were going to need a lot of horses! The teachers will be enforcing their rules with an iron fist and rulers and any students who misbehave will be sent to military disciplinary school where they will do elbow push-ups on gravel! Mwahaha! Primary grades (K-2) will be housed in Phoenix, Arizona. Intermediates (3-4) will be sent to the Grand Canyon. MACs (5-6) will be sent to Flagstaff, and the YACs (7-8) will head to Tombstone, where they will meet their doom! Mwahaha!!! Oh, waitIm in that classuh-oh 1

Aha, Quidditch, sport of the greats! This year has been a particularly brutal year for the players, but fans from all over are loving the action. Our four house teams have been on each other's backs for the whole season, fighting viciously for the cup. I, myself try not to favor any team, since commentators have to maintain a neutral outlook on things (GO RAVENCLAW!! YES!! RAVENCLAW PRIDE!), but it is hard not to wish the teams sporting injured players good tidings on the battlefield. See QUIDDITCH, page 5

The Dogs of Abiqua

by Camille Blake, Staff Writer

By the way, my name is Logan, if you don't already know my name. I am a male yellow Labrador that has the best life, for sure. What is your proudest moment? When I learned how to walk and stand. It was scary at first, but then I got the hang of it. I was so proud of myself! What is your favorite food? I absolutely adore Purina Large Dog Puppy Food. It is high in protein and it was made for a growing puppy. Well, thats what it says on the box. Who is your favorite student in Mrs. Drane's class? I think her name is Camille. Yes, it is coming back to me. Her name is Camille Blake and she sits in the spot closest to Mrs. Drane's tech thingamajig. I think it is called a Smart Board, and it connects to her computer. Some dogs like to chew on furniture. You are a guide dog, so you are not supposed to do this. If you could, would you chew on furniture? No way! Thats how a bad dog would act. Plus it makes trouble for my mom, and I don't make want to cause trouble. So other dogs out in the world: refrain from chewing furniture if you want to keep the good belly-rubs coming. How long have you been at Abiqua? Since my mom brought me here in the summer to help move in from the old school. School didn't officially start until September 5th, so I didn't get to see the kids until that day, except for the ones helping out, like my kid trainer, Amanda. What would you say is the best thing that you learn during your stay at Abiqua? The HEART skills! I see the kids using them every day. Any other things you would like to mention? Did I already say that I have the best dog life in the world? Mrs. Drane takes care of me and trains me so that one day I might be able to become a guide dog for the blind. It is a lot of work, but I love every single moment of it!

Just to set the record straight - my name is Luci Liu (at least that's what my birth certificate papers say!) How long have you been at Abiqua? Since my person/mom adopted me, March 1, 2012. What's your favorite part about Abiqua? The kids! The more belly-rubs, the better! I would love to be more visible and hang out in the hallway (the better to be available for petting, ear scratches and belly-rubs), but my mom says there's no dog-loitering in the halls. Sheeesh. . . . What do you like to do when you're not at school? Well, you know, I've developed a real skill with this napping thing and I can pretty much nap anyplace, anytime. I do like to go for walks and I LOVE going for car rides - short or long, it doesn't matter. I like to travel and last Christmas I got to go on a plane to Carlsbad, California for a visit. I met a really cool Bernese Mountain Dog who introduced me to the joys of a leash-free dog park! Do you have a favorite toy or game you like to play? Have I mentioned napping? Other than that, I do like to play tug-of-war. If any other dogs are considering 'attending' Abiqua, what words of advice would you give them? Hmmm. . . .Practice your HEART skills - I think that's the most important thing. Behave and be an honorable dog; always have empathy for pets and people; definitely be accountable when you mess up; be respectful of others; and do your best to be a good team member! Any closing words? I've got the best life ever! I was rescued from an animal shelter in Reedsport and the people that had me before left me outside most of the time. Hello? Do I look like an outside dog to you? Now I live the life of a moderately pampered pet and am one happy dog!

Be sure to read Mays issue of The Star News for more Dogs of Abiqua interviews....including the Day in the Life feature!

Birthday Match-Up
by Abby Fedor, Staff Writer

Match up your birth-month with your birth-day and see what crazy things you come up with!!! For example, if you were born on August 8th, you would (theoretically) sword fight with a unicorn. January - Switch lives with... February - Married to... March - Handcuffed for life to... April - Best friends with... May - Start a band with... June - Stuck on an island with... July - Host a T.V. show with... August - Sword fight with... September - Create clones of... October - Mortal enemies with... November - Trapped in prison with... December - Replace the human population with... 1. Your best friend 2. Mickey Mouse 3. Mario 4. Nyan Cat 5. Mr. Friesen 6. Yoshi 7. Voldemort 8. A Unicorn 9. Thomas Jefferson 10. Pikachu 11. Pac-Man 12. A Teletubby 13. Bowser 14. Mrs. Drane 15. A Ghost 16. A Piece Of Paper 17. Your T.V. 18. A Stuffed Teddy Bear 19. Cookie Monster 20. Kirby 21. Winnie The Pooh 22. Justin Bieber 23. A Ninja 24. Ms. Jo Ann 25. Santa Claus 26. Rapunzel 27. The Little Mermaid 28. SpongeBob 29. Your Mom 30. Wall-E 31. Harry Potter

Funny Quotes
by Allison Hmura, Staff Writer

Snappy Answers to Dumb Questions

by Danielle Green, Staff Writer
Q A

A successful man is one who makes more money then his wife can spend. A successful women is one who can find that great of a man. Lana Turner All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to height. Casey Stengel A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg I couldnt repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Steven Wright

How long until April? Until the end of the month of March. Are you crying? No, Im trying this new thing called sweating from my eyes. Is this a Starbucks? No, this is a private home. Would you like to meet the rest of the Starbucks family? Is awkward even a real word? No, its just a word that people say and its in the dictionary, but it doesnt even exist.

Q A

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Caramel Onion Recipe

by Amanda Rosborough, Staff Writer Ingredients: 2 cups sugar cup light corn syrup cup water cup heavy cream 2 tablespoons unsalted butter 1 teaspoon vanilla extract A whole onion Directions: Mix the sugar, light corn syrup and water in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring just until the sugar dissolves. Cook, swirling the pan carefully (do not stir), until the mixture is light amber and it is 320 degrees (8 to 10 minutes) then remove from heat. Slowly mix in heavy cream, then unsalted butter, vanilla extract and a pinch of salt. Return to low heat and whisk until smooth. Let cool until the caramel is thick enough to coat a spoon. Peel an onion and insert a stick into the bottom and dip into the caramel, letting the excess drip off. Then let cool on parchment-lined baking sheet coated with cooking spray. Yum!!

QUIDDITCH. continued from page 1

The Beaters have been particularly vicious this year, using their clubs in whatever way possible. Not to insinuate anything, but half of the injuries aren't caused by the bludgers . . . not that this commentator has been complaining. I mean, what stable-minded Quidditch fan doesn't enjoy a little ferocity put on the field? Except the Hufflepuffs. No offense. Gryffindors have been playing skillfully this year, favoring their strengths and keeping their weaknesses to a minimum. Their first game of the season, against the Ravenclaws, was a sad defeat, but only because of the new Ravenclaw seeker. After that, pride sparked and they started playing with newfound ferocity, crushing Hufflepuff in their second game and doubling practices. To be sure, they have pulled off some interesting (and perhaps suicidal) moves this season, I remember on their most recent game the chaser pulled a wronski feint on a Ravenclaw chaser . . . poor fellow, it put the chaser in the hospital for a month. But that doesn't mean that they haven't had their share of injuries as well. Chaser Benjamin Whitson spent a week in bed because of a rather nasty collision with a Slytherin. How the heck the Slytherin escaped unscathed is a bit of interest to onlookers, seeing as after said collision, the Gryffindor team proceeded to land their brooms and chase the bloke around the track, wands unleashed and screaming bloody murder. Hufflepuffs, though on the outside appears to be the peaceful and harmless house, turns out to have a lot of anger that they unleash on the pitch. The main player of interest is their beater, who seems to have been put in the wrong house. Beater Jordan Fery has been playing true to the position's name, using his club to the fullest extent. The Hufflepuffs, whose usual appearance is the 'sweet, lovable' house, have been upgraded. Is Fery in the right house, or is the beater simply

playing the game? Hard to say. In other 'Puff news, the team has upgraded from Cleansweep Fives to Comet 180s. Sprout was finally persuaded that the 50 year old Cleansweeps were much too slow for the purpose of winning Slytherin-Hufflepuff game, which will determine one of the teams that plays for the House Cup. Tis being said, it is a matter of dispute for the Hufflepuffs whether or not this switch will be enough to defeat the Nimbus 1001s used by the Slytherins (courtesy of the most vile, disgusting, arrogant, and filthy-rich little seeker that team ever had, a Malfoy no less) and hope that their skill will be enough to cover for the difference in speeds. Ravenclaw has been playing with ruthless strategy this season, and the captain has really laid on the moves. It seems like every member of the team just swallowed the playbook. The most interesting occasion was in their first win against Griffindor, in which they used the infamous Parkin's Pincer move. This move is particularly dangerous (it involves two chasers surrounding an opposing one and the third flying in front or back), because all attention is focused towards that sector of the pitch. Therefore, the chaser is pinned and the beaters will not be in a position to do much, for fear of hitting their own chaser. Another is the famous Hawkshead Formation, in which three players bond together. This is very intimidating. The chasers this year seem to be in sync completely, and have a real shot at both beating Gryffindor and whomever wins the Slytherin-Hufflepuff match. Ravenclaw also has a new Seeker, fresh player Camille Blake, winning seeker of the first game of the season. Ravenclaws have been putting up a good fight this year, and are not a force to be reckoned with. See QUIDDITCH, page 9

Guess The Teacher

by Abby Fedor & Allison Hmura, Staff Writers

Hint: This teacher leads an after school activity. Hint: This teacher is originally from Canada. Hint: This is one of Abiqua's select male teachers. Hint: This teacher teaches three classes. One K-2 only class, one all school class, and one MAC only class. Hint: This teacher teaches two grades, but one class. Hint: This teacher teaches either Kindergarten, 1st grade, or 2nd grade. Answers on page 7
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Mad Libs Recipe for Making a Mud Pie

by Josie Carstensen, Staff Writer

Fun(ny) Things To Do
by Josie Carstensen, Staff Writer

Ingredients: ___ (Number) 4x5 inch pan 4 cups of a/an _______ (something in the jungle) 2 tbs. of hot sauce 3 big rocks Some _______ ( your favorite food ) ___ (number) gallons of mud How to make step-by step: Start by______ (action ending in ing) the hot sauce. Do not forget to check the mush every 5 minutes and _______ (something a dog does) in or on it. When the hot sauce is done, _____ (verb) it in the pan. Next mix the hot sauce, rocks and ______ (the thing in the jungle from above) together. Take the pan and spread _____ (some fatty food) all over the pan. After it is fully covered, fill the pan with the _______ (adjective) mud. Wait for ____ (number) day(s) and then put the mixture with hot sauce on top of the dried mud. Good job, you are almost at the end of making your _____ (adjective) mud pie.

1. Make a treasure hunt for your family and have the treasure hunt end at a big box of confetti. T.A.P. 2. Have a picnic with your friends at a local park or in your backyard. T.A.P. 3. Make up a synchronized swimming routine and perform it at a local pool or in your backyard. T.A.P. 4. Give your dog a bath, then style their hair in the theme of 80s rock. T.A.P. 5. Put on a fake mustache and wear sunglasses for a day. T.A.P. 6. Have a movie marathon/sleepover with your friends and each friend eats three bowls of popcorn. T.A.P. 7. Make a mini solar system out of candy and eat it while yelling I AM A BOSS!!! T.A.P. 8. (With your parents permission) Go down the stairs in your sleeping bag. T.A.P T.A.P. ~ Take A Picture

Some of My Favorite Entertaining Artists

by Danielle Green, Staff Writer

Music Review

Little Criminals by Randy Newman Randy Newman is a very funny and sarcastic musician. He is also a singer and songwriter and often plays songs for movies or television shows. He is always so amusing with his lyrics and can cause you to really think about what he is saying. One of my favorite songs is Short People because it is really rude and funny at the same time (and maybe because Im on the tall side). Not part of an album, he wrote and sang the theme song for a funny detective show called Monk. You can always count on Randy Newman to make you smile. Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo by Devo Devo is always so enthusiastic in their songs and on stage. This band, started in the 70s, can always fill you with laughter with their silly beats and voices. All of the songs are named something funny or ironic. I saw Devo in concert and they were just as entertaining on stage as in their music. Devo is a great band to listen to if you would like a blast from the past. Alpocalypse by Weird Al Yankovic Weird Al has always been known for his hilarious parodies of famous songs and this album is no let down. In this collection of songs there are music videos if you get the deluxe version and many other cool features. What I love about Weird Al is that although he changes songs so that they are funnier, they still sound very close to the original songs. Weird Al has always been able to make me chuckle and that is the greatest thing in the world because laughter is the best medicine. Check out Weird Al Yankovic - for all you know, he could have covered one of your favorite songs. Music review coming soon: Bach with his newest album just released from 1713 Hot Chocolate with Miss Jo Ann Rory Lampe Miss Piggy Olivia Curry Kaz Hirasaki George Washington Abby Blackburn Cinderella Aerin Haro Taylor Swift Noah Brooks
! Matheny 6. Ms. Runkle Schreiner 3. Ms. Phelan 1. Mr. Friesen 2. Ms. Answers: 4. Mr. Dittman 5. Ms.
(for March 2013)

Hannah Blubaugh Duncan Everson

Daisy Gordon!

Family Time During March

by Amanda Rosborough, Staff Writer On March we got to kick off the week with an exciting and special Family Time. We had a guest come and teach the students and teachers very fun hip-hop dances. Everyone was having fun dancing to the music; even the teachers were enjoying the dancing! On March 11th, Family Time was by the YAC math groups. 4th,

Each group did a presentation on what they were learning in their math classes. One of the groups taught the audience how to plot a point on a graph and one group taught us about combining variables. Another group taught us how to find a present and the last group explained triangles and their rules. On March 18th, we enjoyed a presentation by both of the intermediate classes. The classes explained the route and timeline of Lewis and Clark. Each student shared a part of

their expedition to Oregon. Each student also displayed a drawing to go with their explanation. On March 21st, we had a very entertaining presentation. The YAC class is trying to raise money by bringing in ants for an ant race. The whole school took a field trip to a football stadium to watch the ant race. Each ant had a name and the winning ant was Mildred. The owner of Mildred was Amanda Rosborough - she earned the most money!

April Calendar of Events

by Amanda Rosborough, Staff Writer

Friday, April 19th: MACs Into the Woods drama performance @ Chemeketa Community College, 6pm. Saturday, April 20th: YACs Once Upon a Mattress drama rehearsal at Abiqua gym, 9am-4pm; Intermediates volleyball. Monday, April 22nd: Family Time by Art classes; Earth Day activities. Tuesday, April 23rd: Ms. Schreiners class field trip to the Bush House; Grandparents Day, 2pm; Celebration of the Arts, 6:30pm. Wednesday, April 24th: Track & Field Meet @ Regis, 3pm. Thursday, April 25th: Ms. Youngs class field trip to the Bush House. Friday, April 26th: Middle School masquerade dance @ Abiqua, 6pm-8pm. Saturday, April 27th: Intermediates volleyball. Monday, April 29th: Family Time by Spanish classes; YACs Boston and NYC Trip, 8pm. Tuesday, April 30th Sunday, May 5th: YACs Boston and NYC Trip. Wednesday, May 1st: Track & Field Meet @ Gervais, 3pm.

Monday, April 8 : School resumes after Spring Break; Family Time by MACs. Tuesday, April 9th: Intermediates field trip to Philip Foster Farms. Wednesday, April 10th: Intermediates guest speaker - Lewis and Clark. Friday, April 12th: Middle School skating party @ The Hoop, 6pm-9:30pm. Saturday, April 13th: Intermediates volleyball; Danielle Greens Lucky 13th Birthday. Sunday, April 14th: MACs Into the Woods drama rehearsal @ Chemeketa Community College, 9am-4pm. Monday, April 15th: Family Time by Ms. Runkles Choir; Abby Fedors 11th Birthday. Wednesday, April 17th: Intermediates field trip to Mission Mill Museum. Thursday, April 18th: Kindergarten field trip to Paris, France.

th

QUIDDITCH, continued from page 5

Slytherin. Those dirty, deceiving, double-crossing oh, um, never mind. Point being, the Slytherins have not always been consistent; this year their playing scheme seems to have been upgraded somewhat from 'foul, cheating little cockroaches' to 'somewhat bearable and decent players'. With a new captain, the Slytherins seem to have been thinking about - thinking about, mind you - their honor and have seemed to have updated the honesty code. There have been a couple of fouls here and there; but it's Quidditch, and it wouldn't be the same sport without fouls. Truth be told, some devoted fans say they haven't seen Slytherin play this fair in years. That doesn't mean that they're going soft, though; newcomer Scorpius Malfoy is as dirty a little team member as his rotten father was. How a Malfoy got on the team is anybody's guess, because the Slytherin's don't seem to have any new brooms lately. Sadly, Abiqua failed to come up with much of a Slytherin team this year, so we had to improvise. A couple of foreign exchange students from the U.K. are coming to join us this year, so keep an eye out for the Slytherins. Perhaps some of you know a couple of these players, as they come directly from a - er - distinct region of Scotland and England. In exchange sadly, some of our home students will be headed off to Hog- er, I mean, a distinct region of Scotland and England. Yeah. That's it. For your reference, I have taken the liberty of jotting down all the various teams. Griffindor: Chasers: Danielle Green, Amanda Rosborough, Benjamin Whitson Beaters: Colton Bonnett, Gage Redding Keeper: Chloe Blake Seeker: Abby Fedor Hufflepuff: Chasers: Isaac Cotlar, Emma Tiffany, Anja Kramer Beaters: Jordan Fery, Jaden Jackman Keeper: Austin Tomson Seeker: Max Bauer Ravenclaw: Chasers: Hayden Cole, Lindsey Williams, Josie Carstensen Beaters: Alistair Heringer, Anthony Chan Keeper: Madison Hadden Seeker: Camille Blake Slytherin: Chasers: Hannah Zabini, Ella Nott, Jackson Rookwood Beaters: Dean Crabbe, Thomas Goyle Keeper: Lee Bulstrode Seeker: Scorpius Malfoy Captains: Griffindor: Danielle Green Hufflepuff: Jaden Jackman Ravenclaw: Hayden Cole Slytherin: Scorpius (Ferret) Malfoy

Ghost Story
by Josie Carstensen, Staff Writer

Once there was a little girl named Jessica. One day she was playing in her room with her dollies, when her dog JackJack burst in through the door. He had just gotten home and was very excited because he had been forgotten in the car for a long time. This often happened - the family was so busy and always had things on their mind so when the time came to get out of the car they

forgot about poor little JackJack. Anyway, when the dog had charged in Jessicas room he stepped on her dolly and broke it. When she found out what her favorite pet had done she cried until her parents took her to the store and let her pick out a new doll. Jessica looked carefully about the shelf of dolls when she screamed with happy joy. THIS ONE THIS ONE THIS ONE!!! This is JUST like what the older girls have - I want this ONE! The doll Jessica was holding up was a blonde

skinny doll. She had red nails and mechanical arms that waved back and forth. The strange thing was she was holding up six fingers. The reluctant parents bought the expensive doll. When they got to the check-out stand the cashier stopped them before they left. Wait, he called. Little girl, before you go to sleep and you are done playing with her, tie her up to a tree outside! Ok? Promise? Jessica nodded and said she would. See GHOST STORY, page 10 9

Your Horoscope
by Sophia Wilson Pelton, Staff Writer

Aries (March 21-April 19): Looks like you may stumble into a lot of money this month! Literallywatch your step. Taurus (April 20-May 20): The stars are telling me youre going to make some new friends this month! Now they wont stop talking. Gemini (May 21-June 20): Looks like youre going to have a great week! Wait, not you. This was meant for Scorpio. Cancer (June 21-July 22): I sure hope you saved some of that luck from St. Pattys Day for that math test! I have a feeling youre going to need it. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): You may have a Hot Chocolate Award coming your way! Just make sure there are plenty of napkins near bywe all know how clumsy you can be. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): There may be some exciting news coming your way. Catch it before it passes you!
GHOST STORY, continued from page 9

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The school year is almost coming to a closelets just hope you have better luck over the summer than you did during this school year. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Read Gemini. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): All your dreams are going to come true this month! Literally watch out for those clowns you dreamt about last night. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): See Libra. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Though you may have an embarrassing week ahead, keep your head up. But dont forget to occasionally look at the ground - remember what happened last time you didnt? Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Your friends may be planning a surprise for you. I didnt say it was going to be a happy surprise.

That night after bringing home her new doll she followed the mans instructions. But Jessica loved the doll so much she could not bear to tie it up, so she nicely set the doll by the tree and even covered it with a blanket so the doll would not get cold. Jessica went back inside and skipped up to bed. A few hours later Jessica woke up startled. SLAM! Somewhere in the house a door closed, but it did not close lightly. Since Jessica was afraid of the dark, she hid under her blanket and was just about to get out of bed and go to her parents when she heard Im coming up your stairs, Im coming up your stairs. Fear-stricken Jessica held still, afraid to move a muscle. Im walking up your stairs, Im walking
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up your stairs. Jessica screamed, wishing she had listened to the cashier and tied up the doll. Im coming in your room, I coming in your room. Why are my parents not coming to help me? Jessica thought. Then slowly, a small hand with painted red fingernails, reached up to grab the bedspread. A small pretty face pulled itself on to the bed. Silly girl, was the last thing Jessica ever heard. The next day the police came to the house to investigate. The newspaper article read, When the police came to the house in Turner, OR, Monday night, Mr. and Mrs. Bauner along with their two children, Jessica and Mike Bauner, were missing. This was an unusual missing persons case since nothing

else was missing or out of place in the house. The only remaining family member was their dog, Jack-Jack. There were, however, six scratch marks on the wall. The scratches had no hand prints and are similar to the six previous missing persons cases last week. About a week after the Bauner family went missing, a little girl named Lilly went to the store and yelled, THIS ONE THIS ONE THIS ONE!!! This is JUST like what the older girls have - I want this ONE! It was a blonde skinny doll. She had red nails and mechanical arms that waved back and forth. But this time she was holding up seven fingers

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Dear 5-Star Advice Column

by Lindsey Williams & Abby Fedor, Staff Writers

Dear 5-Star Advice, There is a group of friends that are super, super funny but they barely talk to me. I want to be friends with them, but I don't even have the nerve to say hi. It will be awkward if I say anything. What should I do? - From Shy Dear Shy, Sometimes it's hard to talk to the "popular kids". If you want to make friends with people that don't interact with you that much, you can start small, and go from there. For example, find the guy/girl in this group who you think you would be great friends with and start to have simple conversations with him/her (daily). You can start sitting next to him/her in class (as long as you aren't talking while the teacher is talking). Gradually, this one person will introduce you to all of his/her friends. WARNING: Before you become friends with this group, make sure that they will be good friends to you. They should accept you for who you are. Look to see if they are the right group of people you want to be around. WARNING (again): Make sure that if you decide to take my advice and become friends with this group, to be on the look out for others who appear to be in the same situation that you were in. You can invite them to hang out with you and your friends at recess or lunch. About not having the courage to speak to them - sometimes, even saying hi, makes a difference. I know it's hard to overcome your shyness, but it's going to have to happen sooner or later. In this case, you should probably make it sooner. Sometimes, even only having 20 seconds of courage can make a friend for life. I remember when I was in kindergarten and so many of my classmates knew each other from pre-school. Eventually, I said hi to one girl and ever since then we have been friends. I hope that this advice helps. Good luck! - Yours Truly, 5-Star Advice Dear 5-Star News,
tar to 5-S s n io t s ny que Email a at Advice om or gmail.c @ s w e vice tarn the Ad abiquas in n io st per our que newspa e place y h t y can b Column stand

Ive been wanting to write a question to the Star News but I have no idea what question to write. Can you help me come up with one? - Question-less Asker Dear Question-less Asker, Yes. - Regards, 5-Star Advice

Be sure to check out our Star News webpage www.abiquastarnews.weebly.com password: Stars

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Classified Ads
by Danielle Green, Staff Writer

Someone is wanted to accompany Mrs. Drane as she time-travels. Please acknowledge that there is no guaranteed safety. She has only done this once before. Attention!! Mr. Gordon has lost his gorilla suit. If found please return to the office. No questions asked.

School Doctor Needed A school doctor is needed for Abiqua School. No experience needed. Please bring your own tools.

If you would like to join the fastskipping team, please sign up at the front desk by April 15th.

The Star News Staff Writers Hard At Work in the Newsroom

Star News Advisors: Karen & Mark Green Teacher Advisor: Ms. Drane

Aprils Star News Editor: Skeleton

Thank you for your continued support (and thats no joke)

Do you have a question (Advice Column or other), comment or suggestion for the Star News Staff Writers for future issues?

West Salem

Write to them at: [email protected]

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