Connections Communication Guidelines

Barriers to Communication
Interruptions Preoccupation with other matters Thinking of response Timing Phone Call Upsetting use of time pace distance Uncomfortable Thinking in stereotypes Misinterpretation of body language

Mn l e ta

P y ic l hs a

In rc ltu l te u ra

Sn e e dr
Background

R c iv r ee e
Age Education Status Experience Intentions

Unclear Language Pronunciation Unsuitable discourse Style

Message

Misinterpretation
Message Atmosphere Verbal Message Non Verbal Message Low Interest Unwilling To Concentrate Lack of Empathy Negative Feelings Poor Listening Lack of Trust Fear by the status of the Sender

Lack of sympathy Appearance Voice

P rs n l e oa

P rs n l e oa

Motive

Communication Barriers
Inevitably, most businesses (perhaps all) suffer from failures in communication. Poor businesses suffer from persistently poor communications. Perhaps the best way to think about the way in which communication can go wrong is to think about what good communication would be like: It would use appropriate language (e.g. no poor use of jargon; written so that the intended recipient can understand) It would go only to who should receive it not everyone It would use the right medium to communicate the information The information would get to the recipient in good time for it to be used

Taking the above list, it is easy to produce a list of how communications go wrong: Information is omitted or distorted by the sender Information is misunderstood due to the use of inappropriate jargon or lack of clarity Information is presented using an inappropriate medium (e.g. via email rather than in a proper report, or via telephone when face-to-face is better) Information arrives too late, or incomplete

Barriers to good communication Research suggests that, amongst the many reasons why information fails to be communicated, the following are the main barriers: Different status of the sender and the receiver (e.g. a senior manager sends a memo to a production supervisor who is likely to pay close attention to the message. The same information, conveyed in the opposite direction might not get the attention is deserves) Use of jargon employees who arte specialists ,ay fall for the trap of using specialists language for a non-specialist audience (e.g. the IT technician who cannot tries to explain how users should log onto a network, in language that sounds foreign to most users of the network) Selective reporting information that is not immediately relevant (e.g. notice of some deadline that seems a long way off) is not always actioned straightway Conflict where the communicator and recipient are in conflict; information tends to be ignored or distorted

Overcoming Barriers to Communication

Talking
Be honest about your own thoughts, conscious and feelings. When is doubt, ask questions: How is that for you? How do you feel right now? Can you tell me more about that? Am I intruding? What do you need? What are the ways you can take care of yourself?

When you are responding to a person facing crises, rather than use statements such as You should or Thats wrong, say: I feel I believe I would want An example of talking with a sick person: What youre going through sounds awful: and let her know you can listen: I would love to hear how youre really doing. In asking the hard questions, of course, you or family must be willing to hear hard answers. Think about what you will do or say is she responds to your interest by openly confiding her darkest fears and fathomless sorrow. Sometimes what people need most is for someone they love to simply listen. Irs Byock, M.D. [ www.dyingwell.com ], notes that a valuable strategy for discussing these intimate and poignant subjects with your sister or other family members is to use I statements, framing what you say in terms of what you are feeling. In talking with your other siblings or parents, avoid statements that sound as if you are telling others what they should be thinking, feeling or saying (We can all see Sherrie is getting sicker and we need to talk about her dying.). By sticking to I statements you can avoid intruding on your familys emotional space while saying the things that need to be said and that may, inevitable, provoke uncomfortable feelings in others. In talking privately with your other and brother, for instance, you might ay, Sherrie looks weaker to me. I am worried about her. In this way you can open up the discussion without imposing an agenda. Similarly, in talking with you sister, it is almost always OK to tell her how you feel. Sherrie, I love you so much, and Im scared of losing you, is a very direct statement that, nevertheless, respects personal boundaries.

Words To Try
Joanne Lynn, M.D. [ www.medicaring.org ], suggests the following words to try when talking with people who are seriously ill. This table is taken from Lynns The Handbook For Mortals: When you think you want to say: Dad, you are doing to be just fine Dont talk like that! You can beat this! I cant see how anyone can help I just cant talk about this What do the doctors know? You might live forever Please dont give up, I need you here There has to be something more to do Dont we glum. You will get well Try this instead: Dad, are there some things that worry you? It must be hard to come to terms with all this We will be there for you, always I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Can we take this up later tonight? Do you think doctors are right? How does it seem to you? I need you here. I will miss you terribly. But we will get through somehow Lets be sure we get the best of medical treatments, but lets be together once we have done all we can It must be hard. Can I just sit with you for a while?

Listening
Good listening skills air communication. Listening skills can be valuable to you and to your loved ones. By using non-judgmental invitations to talk, you open doors to meaningful conversation. Some good phrases are: Lets discuss it. Would you like to talk about it? Tell me about it. Id like to hear about it. Tell me the whole story. It sounds like youve got something to say about this. This seems important to you. Im interested in your point of view.

As a person talks, you can keep encouraging them with phrases such as: I see. You did? Mm hmm. Oh, really? Interesting.

You dont say.

Listening is giving you full attention to the person talking, and accepting what that person says. Listening is not: 1. ordering of directing 2. warning or threatening 3. moralizing or preaching 4. advising, giving solutions or suggestions 5. lecturing, teaching or giving logical arguments 6. judging, criticizing, disagreeing or blaming 7. praising or agreeing 8. name-calling, ridiculing, shaming 9. interpreting, analyzing or diagnosing 10. reassuring, sympathizing, consoling or supporting 11. probing, questioning or interrogating 12. withdrawing, distracting, humoring or diverting the speaker

Project Management Issues and Considerations

Overcoming Barriers
Some suggestions Be self-aware o What you want, see feel and do Listen actively o And avoid turn-offs Make information readily available o Avoid unnecessary secrecy Establish a regular two-way information flow Provide training o In speaking, listening and writing skills Provide feed back

Communication Barriers
Some barrier examples Optimism: Itll happen the way itll happen! Impatience: Well cross that bridge when we get there! Blindness: Itll never happen to us! Intransigence: Weve always done it this way! Over-confidence Well fix it later! Secrecy: We dont want any interference! Power-play: We know best! Mixed message: Do it because its our policy! Indirect message: You should have know better! Disparagement: Itll never work, the boss wont like it, itll cost a fortune, so lets be realistic!

Avoiding or overcoming barriers to communication

To succeed in your relationships with your o-workers you need effective communication skills. During you like, youve probably learned ome lesson that have actually discouraged communication. As a child, for example, you have been punished for talking back. As an adult now, you may be conditioned to shut off your feelings when you talk to someone, building barriers to communication. At work, this can result in frequent misunderstanding, poor morale and low productivity. Here are some common barriers to communication and some tips for avoiding or overcoming them. Barriers to communication How they result in miscommunication How to avoid or overcome them

Think of someone you are afraid to be honest with and say to her, I have trouble telling you what I really feel and think about this matter. Shell probably be just as relieved as you are to talk about it. Not listening The person who wants to tell you something will not get through to you if youre thinking about something else while shes talking. Use active listening: concentrate on the speakers words and restate them to be sure you heard them correctly. This clarifies communication and shows the speaker that you understand her feelings. Recognize the kind of behavior that makes you defensive. When someone displays that behavior, tell her youre uncomfortable whit her message as youre hearing it. Learn to analyze your feelings during a conversation and then to communicate them, such as, Im feeling annoyed happyafraid.
Contd

Being defensive

Instead of listening you may be thinking of ways you can enhance your image, escape punishment, dominate or win. Refusing the recognize your own feelings during a conversation prevents you from taking proper action in the situation.

Suppressing feelings

Not giving feedback

Refusing to communicate your reaction to what someone is saying to you increases the chances of misunderstanding.

Giving advice

Being excessively repetitive

Being distracted

Using inappropriate language

Offer feedback in a supportive way. Also, provide feedback as soon as possible after the conversation, so both of you can remember details. Confine your feedback to your own feelings, dont try telling her how she feels. Telling someone what Practice active listening, you think she should do give the person your time, makes her defensive, not your advice or reduces her self-esteem. opinion. Repetition pulls the Listen to yourself. Say person into not listening what you want to say because shes heard it once, as clearly as before. possible, and ask for a specific response. Being concerned with Concentrate on using other things prevents you active listening technique. from listening effectively, If you cant concentrate, making you miss or interrupt to deal with misunderstand the other distraction. persons message. Using words unfamiliar or Choose your words offensive to the other carefully and thoughtfully, person prevents her from being aware of the understanding situation youre in and the (sometimes from person youre talking to. accepting) your message.