Reviews
Morris Men (2022)
What was that?
Truely an awful film. Everyone involve wasted their time. No film has been ever taken itself so seriously. You have a funny premise about morris dancing based martial arts, but what you get is a film taking itself so seriously about people killing drug dealers. Not a single joke or moment of mirth.
The sound was too quiet. The camera work looks like it was done on a phone. Every conversation was shot as close to people's faces as possible while shaking like crazy. The "action" sequences were terrible. The dialogue was bad to the point of not being able to understand how it could be so bad without anyone questioning it. You get to see lots of Clacton, Jaywick and Walton pier, which holds entertainment.
There are biggger problems in Clacton, like Farage and the rascists who voted for him.
Avoid at all costs.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
What utter tosh
What is Zack Snyder thinking? This is complete nonsense. The story makes no sense. It's a mix of sci-fi, fantasy and western, but in the worst way.
The special effects are some of the worst I've seen in a while. It looks more like it's from the late 80s in places than what many films get right now. At the start, a space ship uses some kind of worm hole to travel through space. When this appears, it looks like a giant vagina. I'm assuming this is deliberate, I just don't know why.
All the scenes on alien worlds, look so much like they are in a studio, with big paintings in the back ground.
The dialogue is laboured and hilariously bad. The acting is slow and over the top. I can only assume Zack was very exacting with what he wanted from the actors.
Lastly the action is tame. It's full of slow mo, that shows up how shonky the fight sequences are.
If you are looking for great sci-fi from recent times then watch Dunes, The Creator or Andor, these are all far superior, and their existence makes this even worse.
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
A Whale Has A Flash Back. Utter Tosh
This film was utter tosh. Pretty to look at, but no story. Way too long as well.
The starts with a load of exposition dumps to try and set up some kind of story. We are no longer looking for Unobtainium, but something that make humans live longer and oh yeah Earth is dying some we want to move to their planet. There is a lot of pretty swimming underwater, a whale thing has a flash back, one of the blue people has Mother Earth super powers and the son is total screw up all the way through, without redemption. The action at the end is OK, but very forgettable.
This cost obscene amount of money to make. Please start with a good story then make it pretty.
I Came By (2022)
I don't understand the glowing reviews
This film is utter tosh. The plot makes no sense at all. Plot threads are opened, never to be followed up. Ideas are planted, to just completely ignored. Why is the white lad from streets so angry, when he's got a nice mother, money and a nice house? What happened to his father? What was the point of the clever detective (who is introduced and then left out)? In a thriller like this, you expect a clever twist or ending. The twist here is there is no twist, things just kind of happen, the end.
The actors are all doing good work and are not to blamed for this terribly directed, edited and scripted nonsense.
Bloodshot (2020)
Just Silly
This film would be would better if they had not been so hilariously careless with the location details. Most of the time they are in "London, England", but it's clearly LA and looks nothing like anywhere in the England. There is a chase on foot, through streets, alleyways and house, none of which look like anything you would find in England. In this scene Vin Diesel grabs a machine gun out of the beak of police pick up truck, which contains 2 policemen eating donuts! 😂😂😂. The policemen even look like American cops!
The driving off into the sun set scene at the end, again supposed to be in England, again clearly in California. If you're going say you're in England, make it look and feel like England!
As for the rest of this film, Vin Diesel is the same emotionless plank of wood character he is in every film. The best roles he's ever played are Groot and the voice of the Iron Giant. He should just stick to voice work, with as few lines as possible. That's where he shines. Guy Pearce is too good for this film, the female characters are classically 2 dimensional and wearing tight or slightly see through clothing. The plot and action as are instantly forgettable and the "twist" is obvious from the first few seconds.
Watch if you don't want to think and there really is absolutely nothing else to do. I mean nothing!