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Grotesquerie (2024)
I really did try
Like many reviewers have said, this show has waaay too much going on and little of it makes any sense. This show is like watching someone's dream sequences after they'd binged TRUE DETECTIVES and AMERICAN HORROR STORY.
At times the tone is very somber and brutal, but then it feels lighthearted and comedic, and then it becomes a visceral, phycological horror in the next instant. Too much tonal whiplash to the point that I don't know how I'm supposed to interrupt anything. I feel like this is the same issue that plagued LOVECRAFT COUNTRY.
The characters don't even seem like real people whatsoever. They seem very much like characters taken from other genres and tossed into this murky satanic murder mystery without fully being integrated into the narrative to actually make sense.
The story gets bogged down by all this static of excess subplots that don't really enhance the main story thread.
I tried getting invested, but that requires you to actually form connections with the characters, and I found none of them really compelling. Nicey Nash's character is just a jaded alcoholic detective and the nun is a classic sociopath, and the other characters are just sorta.... there mostly, as caricatures. Ironically, I liked the daughter cause at least her character has some layers (pun interned) to her.
After seeing that the final episode is rated currently at 4 stars, and the criticism of this show is largely objective not influenced by review bombers, I'll just call it quits now at Episode 3.
This show is a chore to watch, and I'm bowing out early.
Time Cut (2024)
Time Meh
Of much to write home about. Probably the most tame teen slasher film in years, so if has that going on. Otherwise, the movie is just so bland and boring. The main lead doesn't have any real presence and her character is pretty bland. She's just some boring, sheltered kid who randomly time travels to 2003 where she meets her decease sister and when she does, she has 0 reaction to any of this stuff.
One good aspect about time travel stories is the cultural shock of being in an era that differs from what travelers are used to. Be it if someone travels to the distant future or distant past. But 2003 isn't a cultural shock whatsoever. A Gen alpha or late Gen Zer will pretty much understand 2003 very much even if they didn't live it. Culturally and technologically there is very minimal difference between then and now.
I will admit this, there are some good moments in this thing like the MC being reluctant on saving her sister after realizing she won't exist if she does. But the killer motives were pretty moot and you ca guess who's behind the mask fairly easily.
All in all, it's a movie you'll have on as background while you do dishes or something.
Come Play (2020)
Behind every monster is a tragedy
This movie is reminder of what horror's about: not everything is what it seems. Not every scary monster is a snarling, a moral entity just out to kill for the sake of it.
It begins like any other horror flick with familiar tropes, however, those tropes are shined in a new light.
The bully kid is upset he's been stood up as a friend rather than the sadistic little psycho just hurting the nonverbal kid for craps and giggles.
The monster is still a monster but he isn't just around to attack people Willy nilly.
The parent characters are actually useful for once.
I liked this flick and it was better than I had initially expected.
Those About to Die (2024)
Nowhere near as bad as the negative reviewers are making it out to be
Does the show have laughable CGI, yes, it really does. Is that a dealbreaker? No, no it's not.
Are the first 4 episodes slow as heck? Yes, yes, they are. Are they a dealbreaker? It depends on your patience. I was about to let it go, but I stuck with it, and yep, I'm glad I did!
The show is well put together, well-acted, and delivered. As others have stated, if you go in expected some HBO level production, you're going to be disappointed. The thing is, I like how this show doesn't go out its way to be anything more than what it set out to be. It's not trying to be grand, thought provoking or epic, its goal is much like its core premise: to entertain the masses, and it does so, regardless of criticism.
With that said, I do have a few complaints. Specifically, the character work. While some characters, like Tenax and Cala are pretty solid, the others are well acted and portrayed by lack definition.
Aura, Cala's eldest daughter makes 0 freakin' sense.
I suppose the creators intended to illustrate Aura as some sort of angsty, spoiled teenager with mommy issues, but it comes off strange. It's like Aura suffers from depression. She winds up enslaved like the rest of her siblings, but when she arrives at Rome, her mother barters her freedom, only for Aura to throw it away again and become a lady gladiator with her girlfriend that she literally just met like a day ago?? I was so confused as to why or how such a decision was even made, but I feel it mostly leans on the fact that there wasn't enough screentime dedicated to exploring it.
We don't really get to know much about Cala's children, besides Kwame, who is forced to fight as a gladiator. His character also felt kind of one note, but apart from most of the on screen friendships, Kwame and Viggo had some great moments. But I feel Tenax and Scorpus had the greatest chemistry out of the entire cast.
The supporting cast was also fantastic.
This show is as pure as any swords and sandals show you're going to get.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians (2023)
I slight step up from 2010 Movie, but not by much
Pretty much everyone is in agreement that the 2010 movie is not a faithful adaption to the source material by a long shot, but one thing those movies capture right is the comedic, adventurous feeling of the novels. I actually had FUN watching them, despite them being incredibly inaccurate to the source.
The 2010 movie version made Groover a standout amongst Percy and Annabeth.
The Lotus Casino depicted in that film was actually more in line with how it was portrayed in the book rather than how it was portrayed in the Disney Adaption.
The 2010 version had a lighthearted, YA adventurous feeling to it, which I feel captured the overall vibe of the novel more so than the Disney one.
The Disney one is... strange. First thing is the vibe. It's not lighthearted at all. It's not adventurous at all. And worse of all, it's just not... funny, or silly or outrageous like the books.
If I had walked in on someone watching this adaptation of PJ, I would think this was a creation of Niel Gaiman or something. In this adaptation, the tone is very serious. There is a lot more drama and not a lot of comedic beats which make the novel iconic.
Percy doesn't have that snarky wit about him; he's much too serious in this adaption and apart from the core three, he lacks a lot of agency and personality. They also parse out his dyslexia. WHAT? This is a HUGE aspect to his character, but they replaced it with him seeing magical creatures and having ADHD. That was a fumble. I also feel like Percy didn't spend a lot of time with Chiron. Chiron here feels much like the supervisor during your first day at work, who's only round for like a second to show you something and then they disappear.
One major detail about Annabeth is that she's lacking the aspect of her overcompensating her abilities to cover up feeling abandoned by her family. And the critical influence that Percy has on her that made her willing to try again with her family. Apart from the core three, I feel like her character aligns the most with the book version, at least. Although it is odd how she doesn't have her blonde hair/grey eyes, which is a marker all of Athena children have. (And was another instance of her insecurity).
I echo another reviewer about Groover being reduced to walking talking infodumper and not the confidant of the group. A lot of what we see out of Groover is TOLD to us. Groover is just there to explain things in the moment, and it got stale after a while. That's one thing I enjoyed about the 2010 adaptation. They really made Groove stand out as a 3-dimensional character who was funny, brave, loyal and memorable character. In this one, Groover has that offbeat quirkiness that is more aligned with the books, and if the writers just toned down him being used as exposition and SHOWED his talents on the screen, he would have been alright.
As for the story, it echos the books nearly beat for beat. I saw one reviewer compare the show to a videogame, citing the lack of tension, characters going from point a to b, etc... and tbh, that's exactly what the books largely feels like. Like videogames. There was never a point where I was worried about Percy or anyone else in the books. It's just lighthearted fun, but it has a core of wit, excellent characters and creativity that makes them stand out all these years.
Overall, I liked this adaption despite its shortcomings. There is room for improvement to be made. Let's see if that happens round S2.
The Acolyte: Night (2024)
The Episode that leaves the review bombers high and dry
The fact that a show that has been relentlessly review bombed by knuckledraggers with way too much time on their hands since before its release managed to score a near 7 out 10 for its episode paints a clear picture.
You can feel it: from the jump the "objective criticism," was just nip picks and bandwagon syndrome to hate.
You see that dissolve immediately when the 1 starers are desperately looking for reason to hate this episode by saying the most arbitrary things like "choppy editing," and "weak dialogue." Or even complaining about how Darth No-Name's helmet can disrupt lightsabers. It's like bruh, is there anything you won't b**ch about at this point without it being obvious that there is no other point beyond just b**ching for the sake of it??
Did these dudes totally miss the corniness of Star Wars writing that has always existed since the OT? Did these dudes forget the character inconsistency that have existed also since the OT? The biggest being Leia never mentioning not ONE TIME how witnessing the destruction of her homeworld had changed her?
The fact of the matter is, this episode delivered, and more, and they know it did. So now it's about saving face. Well that's sucks for them lol. The rest of us will continue to enjoy this entry into the franchise without the need to apply icy-hot to soothe chronic butthurt syndrome.
Dune: Part Two (2024)
Honestly, I found the first one leagues better.
2021 Dune is arguably one of my most favorite movies of the 2020s hand down.
Not only visually stunning but emotionally compelling. The bad guys are menacing and there is an overwhelming hopelessness for the good guys surviving a massive purge of an entire noble society.
But Part II was severely lacking in emotional depth. Nothing feels earned. You never have to worry about Paul or Jessica because they have too much mystical plot armor protecting them from EVERYTHING. Everything just happens in the best ways possible for them and you don't have to worry. They'll make it through like Vin Diesel and his crew in Fast & Furious.
Bruh, what the heck happened to the Haarkonites?? They went from menacing, calculative, cunning to Scooby Doo villains. The youngest Haarkon was just king Joffrey with a bald head but could actually fight lol.
What was up with Chani and Paul's "romance?" These two have almost no chemistry whatsoever and their romantic relationship is as more or less a friends with benefits. Not sure if that's a how it is in the books.
Chani is also boring. She's just very one dimensional throughout the whole thing.
Honestly, not sure why this one is rated above the first.
Baby Reindeer (2024)
A show with no rewatch value
Seriously, someone would need to come and offer me like $1000 to watch this thing again because while the show began as a dark comedy with a lot of promise it devolved into exploring the depths of two mentally broken people who kept making poor decisions because they're both masochists.
This show is difficult to rate because outside of the acting, I don't have much else to say. It's a timely piece that represents all the ills of society from drug abuse, being emotionally distant, rape, sexuality, the abuse that happens behind the scenes in showbiz, and of course stalking.
I'll never watch this show again. And that's the end of this review.
Star Wars: Tales of the Empire (2024)
Morgan's story was eh; Barris' story was the main dish
Honestly, who cares about Morgan Elsbeth.
A one off character of the MANDALORIAN who became a mainstay in AHSOKA, but even then she wasn't all that interesting. Not sure why TOTE wanted to showcase her backstory when we already know it.
The issue with Morgan's three episode arc is that it doesn't tell us anything new about her and it doesn't make any sense.
Morgan states to Thrawn that she "seeks revenge," but revenge against who?? Grievous is dead, Dooku is dead, the CIS has been defeated-everyone responsible for the destruction of her people are dead. Sooo...what vengeance is she seeking? Morgan just becomes some corrupt bureaucrat for the imperials who basically turns a random village into a hard labor camp, but why though? Why is she going out her way to mistreat these people? We don't know. She just winds up running a pyramid scheme and then murders anyone who challenges it, and again, it's never understood why she's doing any of it outside of be generic "I want power," which isn't a goal Morgan states. Again, she's somehow doing this to "get revenge," one day against people who are already dead.
So in the end, we wind up learning nothing new about Morgan and her episodes were largely a waste of time.
I just stuck around for Barris, because we get to see what happened to her post RoTS. Barris' story does what Morgan's should had, which is sbowing us things we don't know, and exploring the depth of Barris herself. It was great seeing the Fourth Sister since we didn't get anything from her out of KENOBI. I won't go into detail about Barris' story because I'd be spoiling, but I do feel that it was better handled than Morgan's.
Fallout (2024)
What the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy attempted to be
Honesty, this show is really, really good. No joke, by far one of the best videogame adaptations to date. I liked it more than The Last of Us and Halo TV adaptations-two game series I'm far more familiar with than Fallout. No, I'm not a fan of Fallout, I played FO 3 back when it came out one time and that was it. So this review isn't coming from a diehard fan of the Fallout series.
I knew from the trailer that this adaptation would be a hit. What I did not expect was how similar in ways FALLOUT would be to the Star Wars ST. Lucy and Max in particular are practically Rey & Finn, their dynamic and core character traits down to the bone. But they're like a more realized versions of those characters.
It's difficult discussing this show without going into spoilers. It does carry on the legacy of those 1950s pulp horror/sci-fi films. You can render the entire show black & white with that fuzzy audio and it'll be right at home.
The characters are strong. The Wasteland shows how quickly motivations flip on a dime. How much influence people in power have over others under their charge, etc... it's all well done.
Road House (2024)
Waffle House: The Movie
Honestly, it was better than I expected.
Feels largely like a movie that came out in the pre-internet days.
There isn't much to write home about this movie. It feels oddly enough like a rated R live action SpongeBob movie without SpongeBob. I guess you can categories this movie into slap-stick action comedy and you've got ROAD HOUSE.
It's a turn your brain off, sit back and watch the explosions type of movie. The fight scenes are great but oh, man, Mcgreger cannot act lmao. I'm not entirely sure what his character was supposed to be outside of being the guy sent to go fight Jake in the final act.
I did like the movie for what it is. Don't go into this movie expecting anything beyond what is written on the tin. You'll enjoy it.
Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV (2024)
Honestly, nothing new
If anyone's worked in showbiz or in proximity to it, or knew people involved in it, you hear the usual stories. Behind the moviemaking magic is the cutthroat world where stars are made and dusted literally overnight.
You hear the same story in the music business: artists plucked from obscurity are brought into the orbit of a big shot producers who hold the keys to the kingdom, and hold power over basically everyone in their orbit. This power dynamic means producers/managers would do a lot of shady, inappropriate things, but since everyone's pretty much stuck in this position where this gig is the only thing paying their bills-they don't want to rock the boat or else they're out of showbiz for good.
This is the reason the "casting couch" and child exploitation has been rampant in the business-even to this day, not much has changed besides people being more aware of what happens behind the scenes-or how the Mob would put it-"how sausage is made."
At this point it's no surprise whenever a former or current Hollywood bigshot comes out with skeletons in his or her closet like it's a requirement for the job. It's a big surprise when there isn't one who doesn't have any lol.
Honestly, the first two episodes felt more like reaches when it came to accusations against Dan. Yep, he's a bit weird, makes sexual references toward children and is bipolar as heck.
Oh, he made two freshmen female writers share a salary, that seems shady. But then again we've got people who work retail who are paid by commission with no base salary whatsoever.
Oh, he sat in a jacuzzi with teenage Amanda Bynes while she's in a bathing suit and he's fully clothed. Umm...okay?? I feel like I was being TOLD That that scene was inappropriate. But it just wasn't. Again, felt like a reach.
Oh he harped on that one girl who brought a huge birthday cake for her cast to share. Mean spirited, no doubt, but not much of a smoking gun.
He received head massages from just female coworkers on set. Odd yeah, but not much else.
This docuseries sets out to make Dan out to be the Winstein of child entertainment when he ...just isn't.
Yes, he was on some weird stuff and difficult to work with but the heinous accusations of pedophilia weren't even directed toward Dan, but toward two underlying producers and Nick's inability to perform background checks on known sexual offenders being hired over and over again for entertainment projects that put them in proximity to children.
Other than that, the bulk of the series focuses on the usual kids being overworked in showbiz. Similar accusations were made against the recent upcoming Star Wars project SKELECTON CREW and there're bound to be more stories of that coming to light in the future.
Kids that work in showbiz have always been a conundrum. Since they're working basically full time jobs at like age 8 on top of being a kid, and that's a recipe for disaster. But just like the docuseries highlighted, most if not ALL of these child actors and actress were the main breadwinners for their families, and thus, they put them at the whims of producers like Dan.
I'm not sure what this docuseries set out to achieve. We don't learn any new information. Shady producers dude doing shady things isn't necessary anything new, and unfortunately, Hollyweird is loaded with these sorts of people and probably always will be.
Avatar: The Last Airbender (2024)
I liked it, but I see why the original creators exited the project.
Honestly, it was better than I thought it would be. In comparison to the 2010 live action take, this adaption at least adheres far closer to the source material while taking the obvious creative liberties.
Pros
Dallas Liu's portrayal of Prince Zuko is spot on. A stand out performance for sure. In fact, I like everything the creators of the live action did with Zuko. They hit the mark every time with this guy.
Joining Dallas Liu in character portrayal and delivery is Ian Ousley, who delivers a pretty good portrayal of Sakka's dry wit humor. Imo, I feel that Sakka is by far the trickiest character to really nail down in a live action adaption. He's largely comedic relief but then he illustrates spurts of brilliance and seriousness here and there. I feel like Ian did an excellent job navigating the nuances of Sakka's character for the most part.
The Bending is fantastic and the fight choreography is pretty good.
The dynamic between Fire Lord Ozai, Azula, Iroh and Zuko was very well done.
Cons
I found the depth between Team Avatar lacking. The actors who play Aang, Katara and Sakka don't have any on screen chemistry, no emotional depth. They feel more like stage actors reading lines at each other than actors owning their characters respected roles.
Oddly enough, Aang and Katara don't have any on screen presence compared to their animated counterparts. Katara's personality is like she's an NPC. She doesn't have any real agency and she feels largely like a background character in her own story. Aang is no different. In this adaptation he doesn't FEEL like the main character and again, his character lacks agency.
Prophetic dreams drive the plot. For some reason Aang's journey is propelled by a random dream sequence of the Fire Nation attacking the Northern Water Tribe... but in the animation, it was a rather very simple reason that triggered Aang, Katara and Sakka to journey up north and that was to find a waterbending master for the BOTH of them to learn from. That's it. That's what started it all. I get for the TV adaption, there is a need to create tension by illustrating certain doom, but this is also a lazy approach. The original animation already laid a simple groundwork that could have easily been lifted into the live action without the need of dream sequences to do most of the legwork.
The Outsider (2018)
Film Noir at its finest
Knew nothing of this movie when I began watching it. Knew it had something to do with the Yakuza but outside of that, nothing else. Tbh, that's all the film is really about. It's a modern film noir set in 1950s Japan. It's dark, gritty and violent. Jared Leto is kind of a hit or miss type of actor. He's like discount Nicholas Cage (because this movie feels like something Cage or Debb would do) in fairness I believe this movie would have been a bigger hit had an actor such as Debb had performed the role. But then again, it may have been redundant since Debb had portrayed gangsters back to back just about recently in his career.
Blue Eye Samurai: The Tale of the Ronin and the Bride (2023)
One Of The Most Beautiful Things I've Ever Seen
I wish I could give this 100/10 because it absolutely deserves it.
No question. I've watched the entire first season and by far this episode stuck with me the most. Other reviewers have already put into words hoe beautiful this one episode is.
Everything about this episode hit the nail square on the head. You will be left numb after seeing this thin. Numb because it's over. Numb because of the gorgeous animation, the genius storytelling--man, this episode had it all.
The show itself is already perfection but it's things like this, the smaller moments between the big fights that really elevate this show through the clouds.
Thats's all I'm going to say.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Oh, Yeah, it mostly sucks All right
This film has the same substance as any B-movie flick you've ever seen. This film is so average it's difficult to write a review about it. The film is so dull and generic it makes you wonder how it even managed to get this far into production. Generic isn't necessarily bad, but a stroke of creativity doesn't hurt right?
There's no amount of originality to the script. Keep in mind, originality in art translates to execution. Of course, this is nothing new under the sun-but execution is what makes or breaks anything in life. In this case, Rebel Moon is a movie that a 12-year-old would come up with. Scratch that, that's an insult to 12 years olds everywhere. Rebel Moon is a movie a lazy person would come up with to pass the time.
The pedestrian storytelling and script are severely lacking. The worldbuilding is uncreative--it's like no effort went into to anything here. The characters are largely forgettable--I cannot recall anyone's name lol. We never get to know any of the characters beside the farmer dude and the MFC. Everyone else *shrug* no clue. Why did they even exist in the movie in the first place?
I can say the only thing the movie had going for it are the SFX, but that's not really saying much in the long run. That's the equivalent of saying you like the font a book was written in and the little illustrations throughout, but the story itself was kinda whatever.
In the end, it's good entertainment if you want to watch something that you could laugh and talk through because you aren't missing out on anything noteworthy in regards to plot.
Leave the World Behind (2023)
Tower Of Babel
It's easy to dismiss this movie as a pointless disaster movie. But in my books , this is the most Orwellian thing to come out in years.
Miscommunication/inability and outright unwillingness to help each other out and or listen to what others have to say carry dire consequences.
The scene where Ethan Hawke's character encounters the woman on the road who could only speak Spanish: she literally tells him EVERYTHING that he needed to know in that moment in regard to what was going on...he just couldn't understand her, and he began freaking out when he mistook her for being hysterical. The truth is the woman told him about the deer acting weird, about the drones dropping leaflets from the sky, the fact that she hasn't seen anyone for days.
But the movie also shows that even when we *do* understand one another, there is an unwillingness to hear each other out, or our right dismissal of what others have to say. In fact that's the entire point of the movie and it's repeatedly virtually every ten minutes.
His Dark Materials: The Botanic Garden (2022)
Can't help but feel that Lyra & Will got screwed over
Bruh... what the heck was that!?
Right away when the angel and witches were "explaining" their "reasons" on why Will and Lyra must separate and rewrite their own worlds, I sensed a lot of nonsense.
I agree %100 that the angles pretty much did not want anyone but themselves to travel the worlds and not the knife bearer. Despite the fact that Will had closed his portals, somehow the issue is that previous knife wielders have left their own portals open, (but I don't get why or how this is issue toward the angles, who admitted that they can close the portals all by themselves and could have been doing that all along anyway, but to do so the knife must be destroyed to make their jobs easier, which doesn't make sense).
Then again, wasn't this the knife bearer's entire POINT. To close the portals of the worlds, but the angles come out of nowhere and go "oh yeah, we could've been doing this all along, but...yeah. That knife's gotta go!"
The truth was that the blade itself was a threat to them and they wanted it out the picture.
So suddenly people who travel to other worlds cannot reside in those worlds, because they're daemons would get sick and die. Okay...somehow this is a rule that's never been mentioned before. And we have little to no evidence to support this being the case.
I can go on but all I've got to say is that this ending felt more like the angles who are in charge after Metatron's defeat are solidifying their own power in the new regime.
His Dark Materials (2019)
Went From Steampunk, gothic otherworld adventure to Stargate-SG 1 CW Edition
I've been aware of the books since they've been published, tried reading through the first one but never quite finished it. Honestly, I never thought twice about the books. I remember the first film THE GOLDEN COMPASS but saw it once and thought nothing of it afterwards. So I gave the HBO show a try, since HBO does have a reputation of capturing the source material in a more accurate way.
Right away, it's easy to tell that this is a faithful adaptation, or the closest you'll get to it. I've seen the entire show. S1-3, and by far S1 is has the best execution.
S2 started out great, but fizzled out with lazy writer decisions that ultimately made powerful, key character useless. I'm not sure how accurate S2 is to the book, but characters like Lee and the Shamon guy were pretty much useless, and the witches were portrayed as incompetent which didn't make sense given their skills and abilities.
Mrs. Coulter and Golden Monkey were by far the only characters I truly enjoyed throughout the series. Lyra was annoying at times, but she reached an unbearable level of stupidness in S3 when she decided to venture to the Land of the Dead just to tell her dead friend Roger sorry. Like... WHAT!? Not only was this decision incredibly selfish on her part, but it made no sense. And of course, conveniently Roger and all the dead people are trapped in sort of WW2 Ghetto or something and of course, Lyra came in the nick of time to rescue these dead people from the afterlife.... Wow, that conveniently made her selfish decision to leave Pan behind less stupid than it actually was.
S3 is the biggest shock, where it feels like you accidently skipped ahead to like S5 of a show. S3 packs in a LOT of content that previous seasons didn't even come close to. At last, we see the denizens of other worlds coming together and its fantastic to see. Yet at the same time, I was a bit confused with the worldbuilding. As a nonbook reader, I was thrown off on how easily Lord Asriel (why is this dude called a "lord" again?) was able to construct an insanely advanced, interdimensional craft in just a few months, and is able to skip between the worlds solely based on your intention alone. So, he basically has the power of angles built into a machine, which again makes you wonder why he had to kill Roger to open a hole in the sky when all he had to do was build this ship in the first place, which can seemingly leave and enter worlds without windows...
But I digress. This show has a lot of weird moments like that, for instance, how Mrs. Coulter was able to not only tame but control the Specters after just one encounter with the beings. Okay... I could suspend my belief that Lyra could read the compass with some innate Dust ability, but for Asriel to MacGyver up a magic UFO in months and for Mrs. Coulter to perform supernatural feats out of thin air, I can't.
Overall, the SFX on this show are immaculate. I haven't seen such clean and polished effects in a while and the cinematography Is crisp and ultrasmooth. But the writing department got worse as the show went on. It's like what one reviewer said, that the show was sort of stuck with an identity crisis. Like it didn't know if it wanted to be a gritty, dark otherworld adventure or remain a kid's quest, fairytale.
This is a show with clear ups and downs, highs and lows, but overall, I'd rate it slightly above average.
His Dark Materials: Æsahættr (2020)
Mrs. Coulter: Current Guinness World Record Holder for Faster Walker
Man, the writers fell asleep on these last two episode. Where to begin...
Okay, so we learn that the Specters attack people soon as adulthood kicks in, so all the adults fled the city and left the kids behind because...um...actually, now that I think about it, why didn't the kids evacuate with the adults? The ones still stuck in the city were old enough to know that getting the heck out of the city was a better move than staying in it...especially when we find out that the two girls wind up going to an encampment that was seemingly just up the hill.
The witches are so dumb it's painful to watch. They have all this deft defying power, yet they laze around and make sophomoric mistakes that make little sense given their supernatural talents. Somehow Mrs. Coulter wipes the floor with them like its nothing. This was infuriating to watch.
So the Shamon dude could conjure up lighting storms and flocks of killer birds that could take down military grade zeppelins, but he can't do the same for like 30 men on the ground? All it took was one guy with a gun to kill him? If it were that simple, why send an army in the first place. Why not send a skilled assassin to do the same job.
Boreal's character was pretty much wasted. What was the point of this dude?
Lee had a superhuman witch on speed dial this whole time and he only uses it when he's about to die. He could have summoned her like...I dunno, before dying? Actually, scratched that, Shamon dude could have killed all those soldiers with his powers (which for reasons that aren't explained) stops using once they're on the ground being pursued by the soldiers.
Lyra knows her mother, specters and everything in between are after her and Will, so she decides to sleep in the middle of the day instead of you know, asking the compass a bunch of questions about their current predicament.
How the heck did Mrs. Coulter catch up to the group from the city?? Lyra and Will's group have been walking for days yet Mrs. Coulter finds them in like a few hours and manages to kidnap Lyra with some much ease it's laughable.
I'm not sure I'll continue this show.
The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)
Would have worked better as a Movie, IMO
I liked it. The performances and cinematography, casting and star power are all topnotch. But on the other side of the spectrum, I feel the storyline itself had been stretched out over the course of 8 hours, whereas the same message, themes and resolution could have occurred in a neat 2 hr, 15 min runtime.
The Usher children's deaths felt completely inconsequential and heavily sensationalized like A THOUSAND WAYS TO DIE. I'm not at all familiar with Poe's work, so I don't know if this was done on purpose, to be thematic in some way, or... what exactly. But when one Usher dies, it's just like... okay, such and such is dead, who cares. Rinse repeat until they all kick the can till you reach the end.
After a while their inevitable deaths was like seeing the same parlor magic trick being performed over and over again, which made me feel like the only crucial episodes were the first and last ones and everything in between was just retreaded filler that can't give the secret away until the very end.
So yeah, that's really all I have to say. This would have done better as a movie rather than a TV show. Pretty much a repetitive narrative till we reach the end, and that was it.
Ahsoka: Part Eight: The Jedi, the Witch and the Warlord (2023)
The Only Episode I Truly Enjoyed.
Overall, yes, AHSOKA had its misses. I criticized this show previous episodes heavily for lack of any meaningful character development, lengthening out characters' motivations and wasting runtime on nostalgia bait and tepid action scenes.
But for once, this episode FINALLY allowed the characters to shine fully. We finally understand what most of the major characters on either side of the conflict motivations and reasonings for doing what they were doing.
Some viewers have taken issue with Sabine's aptitude to the Force, and to an extent, I sorta agree with their feelings. However, I strongly support Sabine being Force-Sensitive because it aligns 100% with Star Wars canon. Despite Sabine showing literally no apparent connection to the Force during her run in REBELS, we also need to remember that there was 10-5 year gap between REBELS, more the enough time for Sabine to awaken her power. Luke didn't grow until his powers fully until he was 19, and largely due to Obi-Wan training him. Finn didn't grow into his until he was in his 20s.
It was interesting finding out that Ahsoka was reluctant to train her out her fear that Sabine will use her powers for revenge. It was interesting to see Morgan Elsbeth's true loyalties were to get her people to the Star Wars galaxy and not solely just to help Thrawn. It was great seeing Anakin acknowledge Sabine through the Force. These are things I cannot beat this episode up on.
Harlan Coben's Shelter (2023)
I Likes it Despite the questionable acting
It's refreshing to watch a show that isn't super popular with a zillion raving reviews and spammed as a meme online.
I am aware of this author and his work and I'm also aware of the Young Adult novel this is based off of. And yes, the novel and show are different. For one, at least the show attempts to portray teenagers as they are. Yes, 16 year olds curse like sailors, talk about and have sex. Rebellious and aloof.
I prefer the show version of Mickey than the book. It's strongly apparent that book Mickey sounds nor
behaves ABSOLUTELY NOTHING like a teenager.
Book Mickey sounds and acts like a former 15 year old FBI agent who stands a freakish 6' 8" tall who retired into high school to play basketball. This is solely because he has been written by a mid age man. This isn't too much of a dealbreaker.
The show has taken some creative liberties of changing up the characters, and including new dynamics that weren't present in the book. Some viewers have taken issue that Mickey isn't portrayed as he was in the books, albeit, he very much is. The only difference is that the actor playing him is mixed race, and I actually lol-ed when one review went something along the lines of "so much for Mickey earning the respect of his fellow pickup ball players in Newark 🙄." Gee, I didn't know being white was a vital trait for this aspect to work.
Other than that, Ema is an overweight goth in the books but that's changed in the show. There're also elements of LGBTQ rep in the show that wasn't present in the books.
As for the show itself, it's good. If you go in expecting SUCCESSION or some other critically acclaimed film, you're going of be disappointed. Adjust your expectations and you'll enjoy this show. It's magical realism with a hefty dose of Scooby Doo. It's corny and wildly unbelievable, just like the books they're based off of.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Ahsoka: Part Seven: Dreams and Madness (2023)
You know it's weird when C3-PO is the standout.
Pretty much the title of the review. I oddly found the opening 10 minutes of this episode far more intriguing and entertaining than everything else that followed.
I have...no idea what this episode's was trying to do. You can miss this episode entirely and you won't miss anything. Nothing of any real plot significance occurs beside slightly confirming an aspect of Sabine's character that has been teased since the first episode.
This episode reminded me of the run-of-the-mill rebel episodes where the crew engage in a bunch of rebel hijinks against the empire and then it's roll credits.
I feel like the episode wasted it's chance to pursue what Baylon is after, instead of continuing to lengthen out the mystery only to cram it in the very last episode.
Turns out the night troopers were just...your typical bad aiming stormtrooper. Nothing special at all.
Thrawn-the great strategist waits to the last possible second to load the nightsisters' mysterious cargo. Why? What was stopping him from doing this years ago? Him sacrificing his already dwindled forces on a "oh, I was just distracting the enemy so they wouldn't stop the cargo transfer-that was my plan all along." Lmao. Man, you can sense the butthurt in Thrawn at this scene, because this obviously isn't was NOT the plan. Not to mention Hmm...let's see, Thrawn, if you hadn't gone out looking for a fight against Ezra-who was just minding his own business in the first place, you wouldn't had lost those forces since literally none of your adversaries are aware of your mystery cargo that you're "distracting" them from.
-_-
And this guy's calls himself a "strategist."
In fact, the more I think about it, what's the deal of wanting Ezra, Sabine and Ahsoka out of the picture? Thrawn said it himself, if he up and leaves with his ship they'll be stranded there forever. After sending Sabine on her way to find Ezra he could have just let her go, no need to send Baylon and Shin to go after her on the off chance they'll find Ezra in time before his ship departs the galaxy. This makes no sense. Ezra could have been ANYWHERE-on the opposite side of the planet, and Sabin manages to find this dude in like a DAY?? Is this planet's the size of the Vatican?
Another thing that doesn't make sense is Baylon. His motives are so obscure they could wind up being anything. Is he on the quest for the best tasting French toast? Who knows?
Its seems his goal was to venture to this other galaxy from the jump, but he's never quite clear on why that is. He's searching for a super powerful force being or something.
I would write more to this review, but there really isn't much else to say.
Ahsoka: Part Five: Shadow Warrior (2023)
Just fan service that doesn't advance the narrative.
Seems like all the 10 stars are purely because Hayden is back as Anakin and we get to see young Ahsoka. Outside of that, what else did this episode do to push the narrative forward?
You can sum up Anakin's lesson to: "if you die/give up, you lose," well duh, Anakin. I see you're still the boy who hates sand because it gets everywhere.
Hera's part of her episode feels like a drag. It's just incompetent politicians being incompetent for the sake of the plot. Hera's a whole general in the New Republic and yet the senators keep treating her rank like it's purely ceremonial and not without powers. In fact, why the heck is she even reporting to a group of Senators to begin with who keep accusing her of being out of order when she's literally doing what she's paid and expected to be doing?
Why is the NR so quick to sweep the threat of the Empire under the rug when the Empire was never truly defeated? They were just reabsorbed into the New Republic. Why is the NR seemingly as weak as the old Republic?
Star Wars-and other Sci fi shows/games what have you always keep up the trend of the "good guys" possessing incompetent leaders/few on resources/ limited support, whereas bad guys (who've already been defeated, multiple times mind you) have super determinate leadership, seemingly infinite resources/manpower. Like how did Morgan Elsbet hire out a small army of mercenaries, ships and supplies seemingly without much effort at all, whereas Hera a whole freaking general with a whole political power at her back, can't field no more than a literal handful of X-Wing pilots and apparently the ONLY New Republic scout pilot in the Outer Rim? Why???
Where tf are Hera's troops? She's a general, yes? LET HER LEAD TROOPS!! You're telling me the NP is so frugal (or so stupid) that they can't spare a garrison of actually soldiers to accompany Hera and Ahsoka on their investigation into Morgan Elsbeth??
I think later on it's explained that the NP demilitarized it's forces-why tf would do this?? A whole galactic society with no standing military force... hmm it's not like that failed before, right guys?
Why the heck did Hera tell Monthma that she had no evidence of imperial activity? They arrested a guy who was running off the book jobs for a known Nightsister imperial supporter, who escaped custody from the NP! Lmao. They have a former inquisitor's body. What else do they need?
Man, if it weren't for the nostalgia bait, this episode would be a 7 on a good day.
Rant over.