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Slingshot (2024)
In space nobody can hear you yawn!
I managed to get 2 out of the 3 plot twists from the trailer before I even got to see the film.
A gripping tale of 3 astronauts risking life and limb to bring Earth some of Titan's chemical bounty to help clean our air.
I kid it was as above but without any gripping at all.
It was mind numbingly dull from start to finish..
Swiping ideas from Moon, 2001 and films like Event Horizon and making them really boring.
Who could have imagined that space travel would drive you bonkers.
It had a good principal cast but lacked any real tension as like I said it was so blindingly obvious what was happening.
Just from the trailer.
The Watchers (2024)
nice but impossible
I've read the book a couple of times and this movie does a decent job in telling the story.
The actors are good and the cinematography is really good. The setting is spot on and it really gives you a feeling of menace.
BUT as a construction engineer for 40 years the one gaping plot hole is a chasm that makes any of this not even slightly possible.
13 men are found in and around the area to come there and construct a hugely complex bit of civil, electrical & mechanical engineering.
Each night they are killed off to be replaced by another 13 next day.
Working with no mechanical tools they hand dig a huge pit to house an equally huge bunker that has the viewing platform on top.
This would take months to complete and need steel fixers, joiners, electricians, mechanical and someone like me to supervise the construction.
Add to that the huge amount of steel reinforcing for the beams, floor, roof and columns.
Plywood for shutters, timber for backing the shutters.
Scaffolding and supports for the ceiling.
Concrete would need to be batched and poured by hand and would need several days each time to allow it to harden for the next lift.
So cement by the ton plus sand and aggregates would need to be brought there and stored.
As vehicles stop working there would be dozens of vehicles just stopped in the forest and delivery drivers who would be no longer in contact with their employers.
13 blokes found at random by the History Professor no way on earth could carry out this work and skilled labourers once they found out what was involved would tell him to go to Hell.
So hundreds of men would now be missing and not all of them without people who wondered where they were.
Also every delivery would have to be given a map how to get there so it would be simple to travel there and find the place.
The more these vehicles were missing and those who travelled to find them would be added to the list. It would not be long before the Garde turned up and wondered why the place looked like a car park.
The more cops who vanished would bring in all manner of people to search for them.
Eventually the army would step in and the whole thing discovered.
This is not even getting in to how the Professor avoided death when it would take a long time to get to him having anywhere to hide.
AND how did he contact the next 13 victims as his phone would be useless and his car not working.
Good enjoyable movie but...............
Masters of the Air (2024)
2 episodes of absolute nonsense
I'm English and had an uncle I never met who died piloting a Mosquito in WW2.
His sister, my mum, was a radar operator during the Battle Of Britain. They were born into a working class family whose father was a miner in the Northumberland coalfields.
The vast majority of the RAF during 1939-1945 were ordinary Middle or Working Class men & women not Lords & Ladies all related to the Royal Family..
So It was offensive to see the RAF portrayed as cowardly toffs who dropped their bombs on helpless civilians whilst the noble USAAF destroyed their targets in a wave of accurate bombing as shown in E2 where they destroyed the Kiel U Boat pens.
The reality was that in over 2000 sorties against U Boat pens in France & Germany the USAAF inflicted next to no damage
for the loss of 119 bombers and 1190 men.
Also the famed Norden bombsight was not much different to RAF raids generally scoring about 30% within 300 yards of the target and the other 70 percent blew the crap out of the surrounding area which included German/French civilians.
We adopted area bombing because even with our newest bombsights we could not accurately destroy a target.
This seemed to be frowned upon by our new USAAF friends in Ep2 but shortly after General LeMay did exactly the same thing to Japan.
Of course every American was good looking and a wow with the ladies whilst our lads bumbling idiots.
Why this sort of nonsense was thought of as good TV I don't know.
In reality Brits & Yanks got on well enough with each other although some of our boys (they were mostly kids) resented these 'Johnny Come Lately's after 3 years of fighting Hitler's best in the air. WE destroyed the German's best pilots in the Battle Of Britain and and lets not forget our brave Commonwealth friends who had fought and died with us well before the Americans turned up. AND yes it included some very brave Americans who came here when the war began and joined the RAF some even fighting in the BOB.
So we weren't just a bunch of toffee nosed cowards as we had already experimented with Daylight Raids and been slaughtered so with the tech we had decided Night Bombing helped save our brave bomber crews.
So that scene where US & British pilots had a stupid fist fight after a discussion on Daylight v Night time pretty much summed up this pitiful drama.
We lost 56000 of our bomber crews and 1000s of our ground crews.
This not counting fighter pilots who died.
And so did many a brave lad from the States who lived some place nobody had ever heard of which now has a plaque somewhere commemorating his sacrifice.
So setting the US against the British is shallow and nasty.
The rest isn't up to much either. Cardboard cut out characters nobody remembers once the credits roll. Poor CGI rendered bombing raids. Lazy writing using cliché after cliché.
This maybe tried to be Band of Brothers but it is not BOB. Even as an Englishman, who had many relatives who fought in WW1 & WW2, that series is probably the best WW2 TV drama ever. The real men portrayed in the series were brought to life brilliantly and watching you shared the loss when they lost friends killed or maimed.
This lot ....nothing.
Napoleon (2023)
An insult to History.
I'm not stupid enough to expect completely accurate depictions of battles in a movie but this was ridiculous.
Non of the battles depicted were in any way accurate.
But the thing that annoyed me was the Waterloo one.
It was a fascinating encounter between the 2 most brilliant commanders of the Napoleonic War.
None of his Marshalls got a mention let alone a backstory but they were central to this story.
Davout, Ney & Soult to name 3.
Some of his best raised up from the ranks on merit which was unlike any other army in Europe. Especially the British who moved up by 'purchase' buying their promotions.
All this was just a period drama about some small bloke with a big hat and his missus.
Wellington proved he was the Master of defence by making use of the reverse slope at Waterloo.
Napoleon made some crucial mistakes.
Which by the way Napoleon knew nothing about Waterloo before the actual battle. Wellington had the ground in mind years before the actual battle there.
The French advanced in columns whilst we fought in line.
The advancing columns could not see the British until they stood up and devastated the infantry column.
Napoleon did not lead a charge against British troops as the Prussians arrived.
Nothing of the battle depicted on film happened except it was raining.
See Rod Stieger as Napoleon in Waterloo for the reality.
Ridley Scott has made some exceptional films since his Alien masterpiece but this was absolute drivel with awful acting and useless dialogue.
This must go down as the worst film he has ever made.
Lore (2023)
very good horror compendium
Saw this last night at the Tees Valley International Film Festival at the Arc in Stockton on Tees.
No huge budget but they were able to tell the four stories really well.
The acting was pretty decent and the effects were well done.
Set around a campfire with four campers each telling a tale with the Night King, Richard Brake holding court as the very creepy Darwin.
I particular like the opener 'In The Shadows' which had a very good monster. A bit of a nod to Alien set in a poorly lit warehouse and a guy trying to escape a couple of gangsters and finding they were the least of his worries.
The ending to this was quite clever.
The other three each had their moments and overall it was nicely shot.
Rufus Hound as a swinger and Bill Fellows as the night watchman in #1 were well known names but the rest of the cast not so.
But everyone did a good solid job.
The TVIFF has been showcasing new talent all week and this a very good example of what can be achieved even without Hollywood style funding.
Well done to all involved.
Haunted Mansion (2023)
Laughless comedy
Considering the quality of the cast you would imagine more than the couple of laughs we got that, ironically, were not even in the haunted mansion.....
The only time I laughed was during Winona Ryder's short cameo as tour guide 'Pat'.
When they were searching for one of the evil ghosts possessions...
'did that belong to Crump?'....Winona's deadpan response 'no'.
It was the only part of the whole sorry mess that was even near comedy.....
It wasn't even that good special effects wise and the 1996 Frighteners did better ghosts.
Jamie Lee Curtis, Jared Lito, Danny De Vito and Owen Wilson were wasted here struggling to squeeze a laugh or a scare out of a threadbare script.
The worst part of it was that it was so boring and that is a kiss of death for any movie
I gave it 2 for Winona Ryders bit.
The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch: Who's Your Data (2023)
I miss Dragon!
No I don't really.
This episode is remarkable for two things.
#1 We finally have some visual evidence that something really strange is happening.
Whether it is a wormhole as Travis posited or something like the 'stack' they found we really need to find out.
#2 They finally shut Dragon up.
Caleb did 95% of the talking for the security team and Dragon, who did not appear until the end, looked forlorn and pouted at the table during the final debrief.
And guess what. He was not missed in the slightest.
Get digging and let Dragon look after the sandwich detail :)
Get digging and let Dragon look after the sandwich detail :)
House of the Dragon (2022)
If Asylum did GOT it would look like this.
GOT succeeded because it had great characters and equally great stories as to why they were there. Brilliantly sharp dialogue for even minor characters showed how much effort went into that show.
Over the opening series #1 you became invested in these characters because they were interesting and you wanted to know more about them.
HOTD has none of this. 4 episodes in it is a dull as dishwater amateur night wannabee which should not be mentioned in the same breath as GOT.
They use the same music but the opening sequence looks a cheap and nasty Asylum knockoff.
It is not as well filmed and has none of the panoramic scope GOT had.
We have seen a couple of locations mainly Kings Landing but nothing like the breadth the first series of GOT had.
The main characters are uninteresting and bland whilst the dialogue is about as incisive as a feather duster.
It only has two characters anything remotely interesting in Daemon and Rhaenyra and they are nothing to brag about.
GOT had people who appeared for one or two episodes that were fuller rounded characters than any of this lot.
The plot is pretty sparse and is jumping forward at a pace without any sense to it.
The biggest crime it is guilty of is that after 4 episodes it is as boring as hell.
I will stick with it for a bit more but if this is the best they can come up with I doubt I will make it to the end.
Prey (2022)
Not a bad way to spend 90 minutes
Was expecting a catastrophe along the lines of The Predator which was a load of garbage. But I was pleasantly surprised by this.
A nice scenario putting it in the West before the Wild West. Also telling it from the point of view Native Americans who have a tradition of legends such as skin-walkers and such. So why not a Predator.
The acting is nothing to write home about but the Native scenes were OK as we got a sense of how things worked in Comanche society.
The action scenes however are well done and pretty exciting.
The main story is about Nara, a young girl, who wants to be a hunter rather than a gatherer, and her dog Spot. I can't remember the mutts name so that will do.
The two see strange lights in the sky and no one believes them.
Then taking off in the huff to try and find whatever 'bear' made a large footprint her and her brother discovered earlier (she probably wished, in hindsight she had picked berries like the rest of the women). Her and Spot annoy a bear and trying to escape its clutches she meets the 'bear' that made the earlier said footprint.
The actual Predator is rather interesting and some serious thought went into our antagonist alien who has to take on the Comanche and a bunch of French trappers who somehow drift into the story.
Our alien has some interesting weaponry and cloaking reveals although less advanced that we are used to, which is good.
So now Nara and Spot have to fight both alien and the French to survive and that fight is bloody good.
There is a nice nod to Predator 2 which could go somewhere if we get a Prey 2 which I would like to see.
The best stand alone Predator film since 2. ( I have to admit I love Alien v Predator but AVP2 was excrement)
Gone in the Night (2022)
Decent because of Winona
Gone In The Nights tells the tale of Kath who has a bit of a pillock of a boyfriend who then dumps her overnight when having a weekend cabin retreat.
They get there and find another couple are booked as well so both have to hunker down.
Kath's fella sneaks off with the younger woman leaving her there with the woman's very strange boyfriend Al.
She takes it on the chin at first then decides to find that woman by contacting the owner.
Cue Kath being attracted to Dermot Mulroney who says he will help her with her search.
The story is told via flashbacks which give us important background and 'seem' to tell a story that 'seems' to be a conspiracy but all is not as it 'seems'.
The ending is decent enough even if it was telegraphed a bit.
I got it slightly wrong but in the right area.
We find out why it was/is called The Cow which is interesting.
The end scene with Winona is rather well done.
Acting from Winona and Mulroney is as you would expect, pretty good. The rest of the cast so-so but not too bad.
90 minutes probably about right as the script is not exactly Alfred Hitchcock.
It's something worth watching if you have time to kill but nothing to worry about if you miss it.
I gave it 5 but added 1 for Winona who played her part well.
The Black Phone (2021)
Hopeless rubbish.
I've been waiting over a year to see this. The trailers made it look well worth a watch.
It wasn't.
It made no sense that Ethan Hawke snatched kids in a black van with black balloons and nobody noticed.
He lived in the area of his victims and even parked the van outside and nobody reported it. He could have written PEADO in large letters on the side and still nobody would have figured it out.
Even more ridiculous was his brother lived in the same house and was investigating the case with the help of lots of coke (not the drink).
The pair of useless detectives even visited the house to talk to said coked up brother and left thinking him a nut.
The basement had a phone on the wall for our ghosts to give the victim hints and point to lots of useful stuff to escape with. Our victim scaled carpets and dug holes but when a perfect opportunity to escape came by virtue of killing his kidnapper, who was asleep, he instead tried to open a bike lock, a ghost told him the combination of, as noisily as he could. He then actually escaped but instead of running screaming to the nearest house he ran silently then fell over and was kidnapped again. Something that went unnoticed once again.
No thrills, no shocks, no horror of any kind. Ethan Hawke may as well have not been in it for all the menace 'The Grabber' had. The rest of the cast weren't up to much either.
Another massive disappointment.
Severance: The We We Are (2022)
Mind meltingly brilliant
This show is the most infuriatingly brilliant show I have ever seen.
Numbers and melons and weird guy nursing goats, innies and outies, Mrs Selwig, Harmony and Mr Milchick. Gay Christopher Walken and a hatful of other weird folk.
What the hell are they doing?
There have been 8 episodes already that drove me mental hoping for a clue. 5 numbers then what happens to them. This final episode was so completely bonkers and I was screaming at the screen for Dylan to hold on as Hellie, Mark and Irv discovered pretty disturbing revelations as to who they were.
The last five minutes was some of the most suspenseful TV ever.
Now we have to wait for 2 aaaaaaaaghhhh!
Death Valley (2021)
Bad Doom rip off
We start in an underground facility in 'Bosvania' and begin a blatant rip off of Doom which itself wasn't brilliant but far more entertaining and acted than this nonsense.
The worlds most useless mercenaries are attached to an elite squad and wander around in enemy territory with non stop talking and not even looking where they were going.
This results in disaster for their comrades and they then rip off an iconic scene from Butch Cassidy pretty much word for word and action for action.
The idiots then get inside and rescue the beautiful doctor.
The rest if you have seen Doom is exactly what you expect only with worse acting and smaller weaponry.
The ending is so obvious and if you haven't figured it you have probably fallen asleep and who can blame you.
1883 (2021)
A western masterpiece.
After 10 wonderful episodes we draw to a close arguably the best TV show since the start of GOT.
The writing was sublime and the performances out of this world. Even those with bit parts rose to the occasion.
A special mention for Sam Elliot who at 77 could easily have trundled along for the pay check but instead gave a stellar performance as the grumpy but always caring Shea.
The other outstanding performer has to be Isabel May who was brilliant as our guide Elsa.
OK there was a little bit of cheese at the end which was out of place with the grinding reality of what it was like crossing the US in wagons. But I can let that pass and say I have not enjoyed a TV series as much as this for a long time.
Hopefully when they start giving awards out this show will take the lot. It was that good.
Doctor Who: Eve of the Daleks (2022)
Spoon stick Slapstick even Daleks could not save
Having Aisling Bea there was a plus and the new look Dalek was very impressive. 50 odd years later they are still a great antagonist.
There that's my 3* taken care of now the rest.
The story is pathetic and even a Dalek could not save it.
Whittaker was her usual self running around whilst babbling utter drivel. Her waving the spoon stick around like a drunken Dervish made a mockery of what The Doctor had one for in the first place.
She keeps reading the stick which has no screen on it to read anything but she can say they are in Manchester somehow and tell where people and Daleks are. I'm surprised she did not lick the floor and discover Manchester after all eating soil told her they were in Norway.
I may have mentioned it before but she can't act and has not a clue what the hell she is doing. She is not the Doctor and never will be. She is a clown driving a clown car over a cliff.
John Bishop is part of her 'team' now, probably brought in to offset the 'Idiot who could not out act a lettuce'. I don't know her name or what her character is called but she is the worst sidekick to ever take part in Who and there have been some clowns.
I laughed every time she tried to be authoritative as she looks a total pillock way out of her depth and who would take that seriously. On the other hand Bishops character was an old style companion and did quite well with the threadbare script.
This episode about a time loop exploited by the Daleks to assassinate the clown was heavy on running. Actually most of the episode had people running somewhere which made it look like a Benny Hill sketch.
Obviously she out wits the Daleks, who were not very good shots with their new guns, with some bonkers nonsense that blew the building up. I thought the Dalek had force shields around them so a falling building would not trouble them. Obviously they did not bring them.
Having destroyed 50 years of Who History this crew of morons have one series left to do as much harm as they can.
It's the Sea Devils turn next God knows what a mockery they will make of them.
Nisser (2021)
Entertaining enough!
Interesting idea but the plot holes were a bit like chasms.
If you are guarding such a secret it seems silly to encourage tourists.
The biggest plot hole was what exactly were the Elves doing whilst the humans were constructing an electric fence around their wood?
The ending was predictable as were the actions of Josephine our 12 year old protagonist. But in reality no 12 year old girl anywhere is that stupid.
Invasion: First Day (2021)
Pathetic nonsense
The majority of this episode is taken up by celebrations of our victory over the aliens who were unable to withstand our patriotic missiles or the schoolkid telling them to stop.
American Shouty does the impossible and manages to find a second red telephone box in London and staring off into space Japanese Lesbian tears down her girlfriends Bowie poster.
Caspar may well be a 'friendly' ghost and the woman and her family do some stuff in the woods.
The alien craft is visited by humans in Brazil and seems more alive than they'd hoped. This seems to be preparing us for the climax as something is not right here.
Shouty gets home and takes his family to the beach.
Then horror of horror we discover an even bigger alien craft is hovering over the Earth that nobody had noticed until the end credits.
That's it 58 minutes of complete crap and about 30 seconds of sci fi.
So we will have to wait until series 2 to discover what happened to Sam Neill.
I think I'll give it a miss. At least The Expanse is back.
Invasion: Contact (2021)
Not remotely grounded in reality
Shouty American lands in London and starts screaming at people to get him on a plane so he can go home. English soldiers politely try to explain to him that there are no planes. So he shouts louder and threatens an officer who after being called a mofo decides to allow Shouty off the base and wishes him well in his quest to go home. (Of course he would.)
I would have shot him just to shut him up. The fact that probably all the soldiers there have families they haven't seen since this drivel began and are as worried for their loved ones safety as he is does not register with American Shouty.
He then wanders off and finds a phone box (yeah sure) and makes a ridiculously long phone call leaving an impossibly long message on his wife's landline answering machine. (yeah sure 2)
Then minutes later he abandons his quest to get home, which was so important at the start, and finds a pub and presumably starts to get wasted. Unfortunately for him Caspar and his missus turn up and demand help using some nonsensical drawings to infuse Shouty with a new quest now his family had been forgotten.
Staring into space Japanese lesbian is put in charge again (again) and WAJO reappears so she sends it pixs of her and her possibly dead girlfriend. Which gets a reaction after everybody else fails.
We see a blurred alien crawling up an office block just to remind us this is an 'Invasion'. Some soldiers shoot at it and it scuttles off. Then it is back to the bunch of dullards that make up the cast.
The woman and her boring family do some stuff and Dragon Glass once again is important to the plot.
And that 's it really. An incredibly boring 50 minutes which seemed like 50 hours even if I used the FFW liberally.
I think the question on the minds of the audience is where is Sam Neill and why does he get out in Episode 1 whilst we are still watching in the hope he returns.
Invasion: Hope (2021)
Extras protest by acting badly at Kabul Airport.
The scene at Kabul with shouty American was laughable. At the end of the scene the extras seemed to be holding themselves back from getting onto the plane.
They were probably ensuring none of them were in episode 8 of this crock.
The woman and her annoying family finally found safety although the man seems to be infected with alien muck.
The most ridiculous part of this rubbish is the English school kid drama.
We are expected to believe that one schoolteacher can take a bunch of kids hundreds of miles from London on a trip nobody knows about with a pupil that has epilepsy. There is nothing remotely like the ravine they drove through anywhere near London.
Then after driving over a cliff of a quarry hundreds of feet high crashing nose first and exiting without any injuries (except for teacher) they climb the sheer face of the quarry to get out of it.
It was a quarry so you would expect a road out for those working there but no lets climb a sheer cliff.
Then some random dishevelled woman trying to escape the aliens, turns round and drives them the hundreds of miles in the opposite direction she was going, back to London so they can go home.
She tells them of the alien invasion and the American President saying something as we here in Britain won't do anything until the POTUS tells us to.
We see another alien looking dolefully at a wall, probably lamenting it's signing up for this garbage, before hopping over a fence.
They look even worse than last week.
The nonsensical drama that is staring out into space Japanese Lesbian culminated in her being arrested moments before she could find the space station as obviously that would be the first thing they did turn everything off rather than wait a bit and see what she found as it might be important.
I might have missed something as Casper the kid said something probably vital but I FFW most of his scenes.
This is worse than the Fox one with its humans from the future and robot dogs.
Invasion: Home Invasion (2021)
Is THAT it?
After 5 really dull episodes, which are getting shorter in length as we go, we finally see an 'alien'.
Cutting edge technology renders a frightening antagonist alien.
I kid of course this SE was rubbish for games 10 years ago and the 'alien' is a joke after all this time..
The Malik family were the focus of this 35 minute episode as we see the woman decide she does not want to be a doctor and must fly back to her family.
How she knew where she was let alone where she was going is a mystery?
Getting back just in time for a dramatic home invasion by a couple of 'aliens' who for no sensible reason seem to find a nondescript house vitally important to their invasion.
Cue some kind of homage to A Quiet Place but without the comedy.
Yes it was too dark but considering the effects it was probably a blessing.
We had already discovered that the US military wasn't the best in the Universe but some old bloke with a shotgun seemed to be keeping them at bay. Until she turned up and all hell broke loose.
We also had a quick nod to WOTW with the insane religious woman predicting the end of days.
I have been hoping this family die horribly since EP1 but they are really hard to damage unlike a couple of dozen heavily armed soldiers in an earlier scene.
It was a bit of a revelation that 'dragonglass' is important to this show as well as GOT.
I gave it #1 because those idiot English schoolkids were not in it nor shouty American lost soldier.
Staring off into space Japanese lesbian would have been a plus which showed how bad this drivel is.
I will keep watching as the FFW button is a useful tool to avoid the boring 99%. But the way this is going by Ep10 it may be just 5 minutes which will probably be another blessing..
Invasion (2021)
5 hours in and still no aliens
Once again something based on or inspired by the Legendary book by HG Wells turns out to be a boring trudge through a tick-box melodrama with no aliens.
Been looking forward to this for a while now but 5 hours in and we have been introduced to a wealth of dull characters and apart from a glimpse of tripodial alien or mode of transport we have not had any real invasion.
There is nothing remotely interesting about these people that warrants the first 5 hour long episodes.
5 minutes each would be too long.
We get the usual woke boxes ticked off. Strong taking charge women, gay characters. Minorities sorted, not very nice men dominated by the strong woman characters.
Sam Neill's religiously driven deluded retiring sheriff among the best character but he is either dead or has been kidnapped by aliens in E1.
The Iraq scenes were mildly interesting and afford us some sense of something not quite right.
The Japanese have become a little more interesting but the lead characters spend a lot of times just staring meaningfully into space , probably because the writers are trying to fill out the episode.
The Iranian family melodrama is among the worst bit with a dastardly husband cheating on his boring wife and his dull kids. After what seems a tornado has wiped out their street on Long Island NY and the neighbours start treating them as if it is their fault, as their house is untouched, the wife decides it is time to get the hell out.
The English school trip was utter nonsense. So one teacher can jump into a bus with his class and drive hundreds of miles (as there is nothing like that ravine anywhere near the UK Capital.) Then drive at speed on a dirt road hitting a pot hole that makes the class jerk then over a cliff after looking behind him still driving at speed down a dirt road. Nobody could possibly survive such a fall but amazingly everybody did and uninjured except for teacher. A trip like that would require 2 teachers at least and parental consent but we find one kid says his mum does not know where he is. What sort of school trip is that. Sounds more like a kidnapping.
Then we see TV telling us of a worldwide terrorist attack claiming the lives of thousands. But no aliens as yet.
I will keep watching as I did with the Fox WOTW garbage, the BBC garbage and several other recent awful attempts to invade Earth. But when will we get an adaptation of WOTW that actually shows the War. If this turns out to be humans from the future then that's it for me.
I gave it 2# but if it picks up I will rethink my rating.
I did after EP4 and gave it 1# as it was pitiful to watch.
Alien Conquest (2021)
Who finances this garbage?
This is just Alien Conquest with the same CGI but different actors who come from the same 'Could not out act a lettuce' Academy.
There seems to be a competition among film makers as to who can make the worst WOTW movie.
We had the ones with C Thomas Howell which were bad but not as bad as.... the one with Tom Cruise which had -plus side good effects. Negative side -laughable aliens, rubbish script and Tom Cruise in it.
The BBC pitched in with a woke saga of two really boring unrealistic lovers for 3 hours but only 5 minutes of Martian activity.
Then a Fox Anglo/French TV one with robot dogs that had nothing whatsoever to do with WOTW and had no aliens.
WOTW from the 50s and its TV 80s spin off were Shakespearian compared to all the above garbage
It is the greatest Sci-Fi tale ever but nobody has had the brains to just do the book.
A Quiet Place Part II (2020)
Decent start....that's it
What was the point of this? It's the same film as the last one with a decent opening segment.
Monsters crash to Earth on a burning meteor and are not injured let alone incinerated.
.
The US Army/Navy/Airforce can't deal with this in a weekend?
They have tanks, planes, helicopters, flame throwers, machine guns and highly motivated people to use them.
The whole idea of a blind alien antagonist defeating any well armed country let alone the USA, which has more guns than the ROTW combined, is beyond laughable.
A baby that never cries except when needed to add tension.
US civilians not armed to the teeth.
Where was the ROTW as surely we are not expected to believe these things defeated Earth?
Their Achilles Heel(s) (they have 2) is/are ridiculous and are both a rip off from better movies.
The first one was garbage and this was even worse. The idea that a 3rd one may happen is the most terrifying thing about this whole mess.
Black Easter (2021)
Biggest plot hole ever
How did they know when to go as nobody knows when these events happened. Easter is just a made up holiday stolen by Christians to bring so called pagans on board.
They would have looked pretty silly turning up on Xmas day to kill baby Jesus only to find that events were again made up.
The bad acting, writing, directing aside the time line falls apart from the outset.
Jupiter's Legacy (2021)
Rather dull
It started off OK and went downhill from there.
Another superhero TV series that echoes other superhero film/series such as Watchmen and The Boys.
Difference being they were good and this isn't.
The Union, a superhero version of the knights of The Round table, were living by a code that the bad superhero's were not.
This led to a lot of hand wringing as the Union was fracturing after the leaders son killed someone/thing.
The kids were not on board with the Code and felt that as they were dying then the bad guys should too.
Then cue some back and forth with the present and the ubiquitous Origin story until the whole thing jumps on its head for the big reveal.
This was very lazy writing and made an ordinary TV show pretty dull.
What Jupiter has to do with this in not revealed and must be part of the Series 2 that will never happen.
PS. Vikings never wore horned helmets because they weren't idiots.