Change Your Image
donkey_dick
Reviews
Nöthin' But A Good Time: The Uncensored Story of '80S Hair Metal (2024)
Only for people who don't know much about this genre of music.
If you lived during the time and are a music person you will probably not learn anything new from this series. Nearly everything covered is well known and common knowledge. It's by no means a bad show it just covers the most popular bands and major events of their careers that most people who follow music know about already. They could've spent a lot more time on the Sunset Strip scene and how it developed into after Van Halen's breakout and how that turned into the Hair / Glam Metal explosion of the mid 80s.
On the other hand If you don't know much about the Glam / Hair Metal scene then it's definitely worth watching but I doubt big fans of this genre will learn anything new.
Cuando acecha la maldad (2023)
I feel bad for the youth.
It's all young people who are raving about this film and giving it a 10 because older more experienced horror fans are not impressed. I feel bad for them because the state of horror films is so piss-poor and rife with lame remakes they see something like this and think it's great because so few solid original horror films are being made now so I really can't blame them. But it's not a very good film. No character development, poor subtitle translation, script and most importantly, not scary at all. Has a few very brief gore scenes that save the movie from being totally boring. It's has decent cinematography though. I believe the director has potential to make a better movie.
All Exclusive (2022)
This is why they say "never meet your idols"
Very boring series and I guess a documentary but also seems partially scripted. Caspar lives alone in an obnoxiously huge house. Yes it's nice but why not buy an old smaller but still large house with more class? I don't understand why one person needs a house this massive. He's an alcoholic and drinks the entire time and it's taking its toll on him as he looks old and tired. It's not funny either. That's probably because I don't know most of these Danish celebrities. Klovn was a hilarious masterpiece and they won't let us Americans see the latest movie. It's been out for a few years but you can't stream it with English subtitles. That's sucks we really wanna see it.
If you're looking for the hilarious Klovn type antics, look elsewhere. This is boring.
Dark Entities (2023)
For Haunted House Fans Only.
Clearly the folks who made this film worked very hard and probably didn't have a lot to work with. It's a classic type Haunted House film and respect them for trying despite the fact that it's basically an rip off of many other films. The score is BAD, ineffective and seems like it's from a different movie. The acting is amateur and at times unintentionally funny (or maybe intentionally it's hard to tell) but this film was better than most other low budget haunting films because you could tell they really tried to make this good and they captured a creepy atmosphere a few times despite all the low budget effects. It takes place in the 70s but they don't really pull it off well because you can see see many modern things around the scenes but after a while it doesn't really matter because it's not really that important to the story. This is Citizen Kane compared to the new Amityville movies so by no means is it bottom of the barrel. If you are a Haunted House movie junkie I suggest giving it a shot. It's an old fashioned good time and not too bad. Don't expect The Changeling or The Conjuring though.
Quasi (2023)
Disappointing
I wanted to like this but it wasn't raunchy or funny enough to live up to Broken Lizard's other films. Probably because they are too scared to do anything funny and god forbid insulting anyone's delicate feelings for fear of getting cancelled. It's not totally horrible, it's mildly entertaining I guess but I didn't laugh out loud once. If you're expecting a raunchy hilarious thrill ride like Club Dread or Super Troopers then you'll be disappointed. There should've been a lot of nudity and a disgusting sex scenes with Quasi and racial jokes and it would've been funny. There is one scene where they nail a guys SCROAT to a stump but it wasn't funny. Also there is not enough toilet humor for me in this. Some of us love that stuff.
It's apparently a low budget production and the set design is poor. It looks like they filmed it on a Ren-Faire site or at a medieval tourist village. If they had taken raunch level really high if wouldn't have mattered. But they didn't.
It's not the worst film I've ever seen but I feel like it was tame, almost like a family comedy in certain parts which is not what most of us want to see from Broken Lizard. I hope they bring back the drugs, inappropriate sex jokes and wild hilarious adventures for their next film. I recommend watching this only if you are desperate to watch something.
The Anarchists (2022)
Douchebaggapolco
Never had a group of such douchers been assembled in Mexico. If anyone did have any interest in Anarcho-capitalism, they sure don't now after seeing this collection of dingleberries. Make sure to note these people aren't regular anarchists. These are like bitcoin losers who still wanna be rich and holding power over others. The story is interesting though and I found it to be a decent true crime story. Recommend for true crime fans. Not recommend if you're into anarchy or punk rock.
You Won't Be Alone (2022)
Vagina Dentata
Long, overdrawn story about a witch with vagina dentata that can jump into peoples bodies. This could've been a great but it full of long and pointless scenes that don't do anything to advance the story. Has some gore but it's not really the good kind. My major gripe is it really fails with the nude scenes. A film like this must have a lot of nudity to pull it off correctly and it really only flirts with nude scenes almost like they were trying not to show the people who were standing there nude. I would recommend to watch on streaming but not to pay to rent it. Not worth the money. Notice I didn't use the trendy word "folk horror" ? To long time horror fans and VHS collectors this is well known and nothing new so let's put that term to bed. You aren't impressing anyone.
Sauna (2008)
A man with such horrible vision
A man with such horrible vision would not be a soldier or any kind of brute in the first place. Makes no sense. He is totally blind without the glasses so he wouldve been killed a long time ago. That really bothered me about the film. The editing wasn't too hot either.
Eyes of Fire (1983)
Worth watching
It's amazing the reviewers on here whom consider themselves film experts because they heard the term "folk horror" once in a documentary fail to mention that Will Hare & Kerry Sherman are in this who played unforgettable parts in Silent Night Deadly Night and Satan's Cheerleaders. Heck, Will Hare playing Grandpa in SNDN is one of the greatest performances in horror film history. Also Fran Ryan is good in this as we all know and love her in Stripes and The Long Riders. Great scenery from The Ozarks as well. A must see for any horror fan.
Famously Haunted: Amityville (2021)
Nothing new.
This film is only recommended for people who know nothing about the case. Amazing how these lame annoying attention seeking gen Zer's podcasters and ticktockers made into this doc as they obviously know very little about the case and made fools of themselves and shouldn't have been included in this doc. Especially that stupid tiktock girl. You are not original. People have been doing what you're doing for years and they're much better at it then you. There's a wealth of information and books written on this case. If you already know the case and aren't a dumbass millennial or gen zer seeking attention then there is nothing new hear and you won't learn anything from it.
The Eyes of Tammy Faye (2021)
Showalter what the hell?
What the hell is this crap? Why do I feel I've seen this biopic movie 100 times?? Because I have. Totally unoriginal style and not funny. If you're looking for W. H. A. S., you're not gonna find any of it here. Same crap you've seen a million times. Just watch the documentary on them instead. It's much more interesting.
Aileen Wuornos: American Boogeywoman (2021)
How can she have buck teeth at the end of her life but not in her youth?
I don't understand how in the opening scene where she is in prison she has big buck teeth and that actually almost resembled her but then the switch to her youth and she's a young attractive blonde with perfect teeth. Anyone who knows this case will know Aileeen didn't look like that in her youth. Plus how do you develop buck teeth? You don't. Did someone step in dog mess?? Because this POC (piece of crap, that's what POC has meant for 100 years) stinks!!
The Death of Dick Long (2019)
Opening scene was lame
Setting "Break It To Me Gently" to guys getting ripped didn't make any sense and shows the directors vision was lame an stupid. Better luck next time, dingleberry.
Confronting a Serial Killer (2021)
Egotistical woman. The most irritating types of people of my generation.
I'm around the same age as her. She's more interested in blowing up herself wanting you to think she has a beautiful life. Her life is not interesting to me. She's a hooker junkie turned writer. Who cares? The way she dresses and does her hair is annoying and egotistical. Go in the internet and you'll see gushing articles about what a saint she is for adopting a black kid. Good for her but I don't care. It all falls into place when you find out she's a burlesque dancer. So lame. True crime fans, I recommend skipping this crap. Watch "Buried" instead. Way more interesting and best of all it's about the story, not the author.
The Shrink Next Door (2021)
Watchable but not funny
I like all the actors in this. This should be hilarious but it's not. Jewish people are funny and this should be a laugh riot. But the laughs are nowhere to be found. Frustrating to watch because it could be great. This happens with most comedians though. They're funny for a while and then their egos get huge and the imbeciles that run Hollywood want them to be dramatic actors. Look at Eddie Murphy. He was hilarious then they threw so much money at him he lost his sense of humor. As a dramatic film it's watchable but not that great. Watch it only if you can't find something else. Hit the tumbs down if you agree.
The Old Ways (2020)
Caca Con Carne
It was just a matter of time before Hollywood weirdos got their hands on a Native American theme horror script in their desperate search for different cultures to exploit. Problem is, this has already been done in the 80s (and done way better). It's just another stinker to their mile high trash heap of lame modern horror films. Unoriginal and boring.
Forbrydelsen (2007)
Disappointing. Overrated
Long. Drawn out. Boring. I never think the remake of anything is better than the original - except in this case. The US version was actually better for the first time ever. After 20 episodes in season 1 I figured season 2 was bound to be better. It wasn't. We waited years to see this in the states. I'm disappointed. A total snooze fest. Rate my review thumbs down if you agree.
Curse of Aurore (2020)
Did somebody step in dog mess? Because it stinks
As soon as you see anyone from Mindseed TV you know what you're watching is gonna stink. If you aren't familiar with them, they are outdated hipster / tough guys who go all their tattooes in one month that make fake paranormal videos on YouTube that idiotic fans think are real. They appeal to youngsters who think creepypasta, lame ass fake dybuuk boxes and haunted dolls are cool. Totally new school and totally sucks. Just like this movie. Avoid it like the plague.
Blackwater Valley Exorcism (2006)
It is bad but it's funny
I disagree with others that said this has no value. It's so bad it's good. Has hilarious dialogue, horrible acting and silly sex scenes. Watch it for laugh. It's more entertaining than the crappy horror that pretends to be serious these days.
The Prince (2021)
I could care less about child "bullying" - it's just not funny
I don't care about making fun of the Royal family or the alleged child bullying it's simply not funny all and seems like you're watching a bad rip off of American Dad. Stinks to high heaven.
The Pursuit of Love (2021)
No bueno
Really cheesy way of looking at the past and makes the past seem cheap. Nearly every scene is at a frantic pace too making it exhausting to watch. Use of modern music was lame. Stinks to high heaven.
Iron Brothers (2018)
Clearly very influenced by 70s Westerns
Good low budget film that is clearly very influenced by 70s Westerns down to the promo poster which is very cool. It may not be McCabe and Mrs. Miller but it sure beats "Dear White People" or most other modern throwaway garbage.
At Home with Amy Sedaris (2017)
Wish this was on Netflix so people could see what real comedy looks like.
Great sketch show that hits because it's got old fashioned talent, something so many shows lack nowadays. Doesn't rely on social issues / woke nonsense like so many Netflix shows, it's just her funny self. I'm not suggesting it would be be offensive to anyone I'm just saying it's funny because Amy is funny and it exists in her own imaginary world and social issues are not part of it. Refreshing and highly recommend. If you like her 90s stuff and Kids In The Hall, Mr. Show etc, you'll like this.
Red Woods (2021)
Nope
Kind of a good idea / premise but they blew it. Boring and not scary. What a bunch of jerks!
Most Haunted (2002)
I don't like Annette Fielding
I don't know if it's because I'm American but there's something I don't like about Annette Fielding. Her annoying hairstyles have something to do with it and the fact that she just seems ingenuine and rather full of crap. Plus the fact that they never find any evidence doesn't help. She just comes across as liar and an annoying person. The show is boring and it sucks. Should be canceled if it isn't already.