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The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Slumber Party Masterpiece
"So you thought it was going to be another BORING weekend?..." A slumber party to end all slumber parties! A bunch of high school teenage girls organise a slumber party when the parents of one of them - Trish - go away for the weekend. A couple of guys invite themselves, so too does escaped maniac Russ Thorn, armed with a very long power drill! Within 2 minutes we have topless female nudity (and there is plenty more of that to come!) and this is swiftly followed by the first kill. Some people call this a horror/comedy, sure, it has its tongue in cheek moments from time to time, many people also go on about it being directed by a woman. Does that really matter? It is the end product that counts and in my opinion this is an excellent example of an early 1980's slasher movie. It is one of my top ten slashers for sure. The movie has plenty of gory kills, lots of gratuitous t & a, a very good musical score and an impressive killer. Thorn is very well played by method actor Michael Villela. We are introduced to him early on, his identity is no mystery, he just gets on with his drilling killing spree. Scream Queen Brinke Stevens appears here in one of her early roles and has acted in many horror movies since. With a modest running time of 76 minutes (Blu-ray) there is never a dull moment. A famous still from the movie has Thorn standing over one of his female victims, his legs spread and is long drill hanging between them, the symbolism being pretty obvious! Thorn is later attacked by a fire poker then a knife, both of which can be seen to wobble, that's the only goof that I picked up on but reading IMDb there are plenty of others. I own Slumber Party Massacre on VHS, DVD and now Blu-ray. I bought the British VHS tape in 1990, it had been re-titled as "Slumber Party Murders" and had suffered censorship cuts. I have many fond memories of watching that tape over and over, and it still has a special place in my collection.
Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch (1985)
Howl if you like this movie - Me: "HOOOWLL"
Howling 2 is a direct follow up to the original film and is the only sequel in the series that relates to it. Many may disagree with me but I think that it's the best sequel (though the bar isn't exactly set very high!) in the series, which one again seems to have succumbed to a silver bullet. The plot carries on from the death of TV reporter Karen White, though they had to re-shoot her demise due to copyright. It kicks off in LA but the action soon moves to "The Dark Country", aka Transylvania. Horror legend Christopher Lee plays Stefan, a Van Helsing type expert on the occult, he and two Americans travel to Romania to find and kill evil werewolf queen Stirby (played by the scorching hot Sybil Danning). The country formerly known as Czechoslovakia stands in for Transylvania, most of the movie was shot here. An early scene has Stefan hilariously go undercover to a LA punk gig, the actual location used was a real Czech punk venue that was made to look like London's legendary Batcave club. Jimmy Nail, a very familiar face on British TV who also had a successful musical carrier, plays a punk sporting a terrible fake American accent, though he's not the only one. Lee plays his role straight, he was to later say that he was embarrassed by this movie but hey, at least it's not "Meatcleaver Massacre!" The rural villagers near Stirba hold a street fair for the Full Moon, the traditional music, dancing, costumes, masks and puppet shows are delightful. Howling 2 features a lot of werewolves and compared to most of the other entries the make up is quite good, There is also plenty of gory violence to enjoy, plus werewolves engaging in threesomes and sexual orgies! Sybil looks fan(g)tastic and the infamous closing credits shows her expose her boobs repeatedly! The shooting locations used, both interior and exterior, are very good. I am very surprised by the current IMDb score of 3.7/10, I am not going to state that Howling 2 is a great movie but I for one certainly enjoyed re-watching it and no doubt will do so again one future Full Moon!
Housebound (2014)
Slow first half but things improve a lot in the second
Motgana O'Reilly plays Kylie, a wayward and troubled young woman who is confined to house arrest after robbing an ATM machine. She goes to her mother's old house, which may or may not be haunted. When Kylie's ankle tag goes off the security/parole guy called Amos turns up at the house and he just happens to dabble in paranormal investigations. Now I assumed that this was going to be a haunted house horror movie, my TV guide said nothing about comedy so when silly or humorous things started happening I was a bit perplexed. I wish that I had known about the comical aspect beforehand! I found the first half to be a bit slow and the occasional jump scare didn't scare me, it wasn't looking very promising. Thankfully things improve a great deal in the second part with several plot twists and turns, the end result was rather pleasing. Things do get very violent and there are some good gore scenes, a man being stabbed in his stomach with a pair of garden sheers being one of them. I liked Kylie, she did look like a 30 year old woman acting like a teenager and was constantly scowling but when she did drop the hard face she looked quite hot. New Zealand to the best of my knowledge hasn't produced a great deal of horror movies but all of the ones that I have seen to date have been pretty good, this one being no exception. I did feel that the 106 minutes running time was unnecessarily too long and that might put me off watching it again, they could have cut say 10 minutes off with harming the plot.
Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense: Black Carrion (1984)
Slow burn, great ending
"Whatever happened to The Twist huh?" Black Carrion is an episode of the series of TV movies called "The Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense" from 1984. I watched them many years ago but thanks to the wonderful Talking Pictures TV (UK) I am getting to revisit them, and am probably enjoying them more so second time around. This one concerns two British rock and roll stars - the Verne brothers - from the 1960's who made it big then simply vanished without trace. Roll on twenty years and a music producer wants them tracked down so that he can make a ton of money, he enlists a journalist and a young woman with a wealth of music knowledge to find them down. Their search takes them to what appears to be an abandoned village and the huge Gothic mansion (actually Knebworth House) that the brothers bought. I'm not going to expand anymore about the plot, all I will say that it's a slow but rewarding burn that culminates in a deranged ending featuring madness, an audience of corpses and pure horror. The actors that played the brothers were also real musicians and they wrote much of the score, HOWEVER they did not write "Shakin' All Over" (by Johnny Kidd), a track that they keep performing throughout. Good use is made of the rural Hertfordshire locations. I enjoyed seeing British actor Norman Bird appear as a car driver being hounded by a large American GMC truck. When he gets out of his battered car there is a creepy looking scarecrow nearby - Bird previously appeared as Farmer Braithwaite in the long running children's TV series "Worzel Gummidge" about a talking scarecrow. Not my favourite episode of the series but not the worst either, certainly worth watching.
Deadly Games (1982)
Bloodless slasher with a poor ending but it's not all bad
Journalist Keegan (Jo Ann Harris) returns to her small Californian hometown only to find that her sister has been murdered. She soon starts a relationship with divorced cop Roger, who is investigating the case. He is good friends with a creepy looking guy called Billy who works as a projectionist at an old looking cinema/theatre. Soon more young woman fall victim to a black leather gloves and ski mask wearing psycho (a touch of Italian Giallo there). I first watched Deadly Games online for free, it was a poor quality VHS download so I did not bother to review it at the time. I have since purchased the Arrow 2K Blu-ray and it does look very nice, visually at least this is a good watch. This is a slasher movie with no blood or gore and a fairly low body count too. However all of the kill scenes are executed with genuine suspense, this film may not be gory but it is certainly creepy. Add to that a few good lashing of Gothic Horror (one murder takes place at night in an old cemetery, also in the cinema there are some wonderful posters of old classic black and white horror movies on the walls), plus several soft sex scenes with female topless nudity, and the end result really isn't too bad. Talking of end though the finale of this one is sadly poor, it just suddenly stops. I doubt if it's because they ran out of film but it's one of those annoying open ended ends that means the viewer doesn't know for sure what finally happens. Keegan talks a lot, her constant wise cracking does becoming rather tiresome and she seems remarkably upbeat despite having just lost her sister but I did quite like her strong character. The ever reliable Steve Railsback plays socially awkward Billy. As I have said the horror scenes are quite good but in between these the pace can get a little boring at times. I am surprised by the current IMDb rating of 4/10. Please don't be put off by that. I score it 6/10 meaning that it slots in between being average and good.
The Caller (1987)
The Caller with an unconvincing accent
A mysterious man simply known as The Caller (Malcolm McDowell) calls on a young woman - simply known as The Girl ((Madolyn Smith) to ask if he can use the telephone in her isolated woodland cabin, his car having broken down. Reluctant at first she lets him in, things then get progressively strange! At the start of the film we see an axe swing, a broken child's doll, a night time thunderstorm, a woman being watched by a prowler as she takes a shower, etc. All slasher movie tropes but slasher movie this is not. I would describe it as a suspenseful psychological mystery thriller with a bizarre dose of science fiction. There are no other characters in the film, most of the running time is taken up by them talking to each other. After so long I began to get bored, perhaps this would have worked better as a short. And talking of talking The Girl says to The Caller "You have an unusual accent", "London" he replies. Not for the first time McDowell adopts a very unconvincing accent, the English part is clearly his natural Yorkshire accent, nothing like a London one, then when he attempts to be American this too fails. Other than that he is very good. The story is set in the USA but filmed in Italy, a scene on a high mountain road looks clearly Mediterranean. Not much for gore fans here though late on we see a severed hand in a fridge and a melting cyborg, very impressive. Not giving away any spoilers but to say that the ending is bizarre is an understatement. Sadly it just did not work for me. A re-watch might make things clearer but quite frankly I have far better things to do with my time than sit through this little know oddity again. Credit for originality, pity it was not executed better.
Significant Other (2022)
Significant Other (From Another World)
Harry and Ruth have been dating for six years, he takes her hiking and camping on the Red Ridge Trail in a forest on the Pacific North West coast. The first night she is spooked by something outside of their tent. The next day Harry proposes to her on top of a coastal cliff, she declines though she still loves him. Out walking by herself she discovers some blue gooey substance.in a cave. If you have not yet watched the movie then pay close attention to what else she sees in there, it is important and crucially explains the second half of the film. The experience changes her, she asks Harry to propose to her again, in the same place. He does, I guessed correctly what was going going to happen next, it is a major change in plot direction. Jake Lacy is fine as Harry but Maika Monroe as Ruth is the best thing about this movie, a very good actress. The film was nicely shot in the very scenic Oregon wilderness. No sex or nudity but plenty of bad language and violence. Gore highlights include a man having his hand cut off and his head split in half. There are alien special effects that reminded me of Terminator 2 but the CGI is not very good. A shark looks like it could have swum over from one of the Sharknado films! My TV guide described this as an eerie science fiction horror, add romance and drama to that. Shades of Invasion of the Body Snatchers plus a bit of Predator here. Relatively short running time passes quickly. Fairly good movie, might benefit from a repeat viewing.
The Oblong Box (1969)
The start of a wonderful friendship between two titans of terror
British Gothic horror loosely based on Edgar Allan Poe's "The Premature Burial" and set just outside of Victorian London. Things start off in Africa, Sir Julian Markham (Vincent Price) witnesses his brother Sir Edward being strung up during a Voodoo ceremony, presumably intended as a human sacrifice. Back in England at the family mansion Julian has the now mad Edward shackled and locked away but Ed hatches a plan to escape. It does not go quite to plan, he is buried alive but fortunately for him he is dug up by grave robbers and sold to one Dr. Neuhartt (Christopher Lee) for his illegal research. Wearing a crimson hood Edward goes on a killing spree. I first watched The Oblong Box many years ago on late night TV (happy memories), I recall very little of that experience other than that I quite enjoyed it. I have recently bought the BFI Blu-ray release and last night watched it. Upon its initial release, then on VHS, the movie did suffer censorship cuts, there are several bloody slashings plus several scenes of brief female topless nudity. Reasonably strong for 1969 but tame by later horror movies (now rated BBFC 15). The Victorian sets and costumes are excellent. Although they only share one brief scene together this movie was the first time that Price and Lee worked together and was the start of a life long friendship. Price hams it up as usual but is a joy to watch. Lee sports grey hair, either a wig or colouring, and I thought that he looked silly. He is credited as having a guest appearance but in fact his role is quite substantial. "Tell me, have you seen a face like mine?" Edward asks but when his disfigured face is finally revealed it is a bit of a disappointment, I was expecting him to look worse. Poe adaptations were popular during this time, this may not be one of the better ones but it is still a worthwhile watch and may benefit from a repeat viewing. I'll certainly be watching the man in the crimson mask again before too long.
Fantasy Island (2020)
Another dud from Blumhouse
Five "lucky" (read unlucky) contestants win the trip of a lifetime to Fantasy Island, a magical place where their fantasies really do come true, but at a cost. Hands up, I didn't know that this was based on the old TV series by the same name. Indeed my TV guide described it as a horror movie, in reality it is a combination of fantasy, horror and comedy, the latter aspect being an utter failure. The "comedy" comes mainly in the form of two step-brothers, one White, one Asian, they keep saying words like "dude" and are far more irritating than funny. As I said I didn't realise this was a fantasy movie so when all of these really weird and impossible things start to happen I was shaking my head with disbelief, in retrospect it now makes sense (to a degree). I couldn't care for any of the characters. Michael Rooker, a good actor, just looks out of place in this mess. There is a lot of dialogue, much of it unnecessary, and this drags the pace down. Some of the action and horror scenes are OK but overall I did not enjoy this movie, as is often the case with Blumhouse Productions sadly.
The Lodge (2019)
Bleak Xmas movie, bah humbug!
"We wouldn't know if we died." Richard tells his estranged wife Laura that he wants a quick divorce so that he can marry Grace. Laura goes home and blows her brains out, right before our very eyes! Quite a shocking moment, one of the few highlights of the entire film. Six months later at Thanksgiving Rich tells his two young children Mia and Aiden that they along with Grace will be spending Xmas together at a mountain lodge. The kids aren't exactly enthusiastic. Xmas comes and they drive through the snowy landscape to the rather nice looking lodge, however when they get there Rich drives off because he has to work for a couple of days leaving his new love with the kids, it's pretty obvious that they aren't going to get along. Now here's the thing, when Grace was a child she was the sole survivor of a religious suicide cult led by her father. Needless to say she bears mental scars. Strange things start to happen. Grace's dog vanishes, so do the Xmas decorations and her belongings, and the calendar keeps showing 9 January. Are the kids trying to drive her mad, or is she behind these things? I honestly could not figure it out. A bit of both perhaps? Things go from bad to worse when they lose power and her dog is found frozen to death, then Richard returns but there's no festive cheer waiting for him. The plot started off alright but it is a very slow burn and despite a few good moments it goes downhill. Don't be fooled by the fact that this is a Hammer production, it's Hammer in name only and their glory days ended decades ago. If you fancy a bleak slow burn on a cold Winter's night this might be for you but overall I found it to be humbug!
The Substance (2024)
Sensational!
When fading TV star Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore) turns 50 she is told by her agent Harvey (brilliantly played by Dennis Quaid) that she's too old and he looks for a new younger star to replace her on a TV aerobics show (which features a lot of groin and bum close ups!). Elisabeth obtains a black market drug called The Substance, not to make her younger but to make a new, younger version of herself (called Sue, played by Margaret Qualley). Sounds confusing but watch it and it all makes sense. I avoided all reviews before going to see this at the cinema last night and I am glad that I did, the incredibly crazy and over the top brilliant finale caught me totally by surprise. Demi Moore was 61 whilst making this movie but looks fantastic, well until things start going wrong that is! Both she and Qualley spend a lot of time naked, which is very nice. They also get to beat the crap out of each other. This film is awesome! It is horrific, shocking, funny, sexy and extremely gory. It is easily one of the best body horror movies ever made, period! The running time clocks in at 141 minutes but I was never once bored, quite the opposite. I absolutely loved The Substance and look forward to its future Blu-ray release.
Smile (2022)
A modern horror movie that made me Smile (for a change)
Traumatised therapist Dr Rose Carter (Sosie Bacon, daughter of Kevin) is haunted by an evil presence after she sees one of her patients kill herself. The suicidal curse then passes to Rose, can she break it before it's too late? (shades of "Ring" here perhaps?). Sosie gives an excellent performance, she is one of Smile's strongest points. It is also a very impressive feature length debut from director Parker Finn. There are plenty of jump scares, none of them got me but perhaps had I watched this at the cinema instead of on my TV they may well have. There are some good gory scenes, these include a woman cutting her face and throat with a sharp piece of china; Rose imagines stabbing a man multiple times in his body; a man rips off his own face, etc. The special effects are well done. The cinematography is good and the musical score is creepy. I was impressed by Smile though I felt that the ending could have been better. Horror is an incredibly popular 21st Century movie genre, most of the movies getting churned out are insipid but every now and then one gets released that stands head and shoulders above the rest, Smile is one of those.
Cuckoo (2024)
Weird
Seventeen year old American girl Gretchen starts a new life with her father and his new family in the German Alps but the owner of a hotel also turns out to be a mad German scientist and is trying to create a race of super humans (or something like that). Towards the end I pretty much gave up trying to understand what was going on. In addition to being a bird the word "cuckoo" can also mean mad/crazy and that is certainly an apt title for this confusing mess. Gretchen is well played by model/actress Hunter Schafer - apart from the fact that she was 25 and looks too old to be convincing as a 17 year old. There are a few half decent scares but there are also weird time lapses and lots of close ups of trembling throats! A guy is shot at point blank range, assumed to be dead but somehow gets up, makes a miraculous recovery and goes on to have one of the most ludicrous shoot outs with another guy inside a building, groan inducing. I presume that it was set in the modern day as people have smart 'phones yet they are driving around in old retro cars (the 1970's red Triumph estate was very cool). A local says that Germany borders Italy - No it does Not! Nice mountain scenery though. Saw this last night at the cinema, the film felt longer than it actually was and I came out feeling slightly "cuckoo!" Some movies make more sense after a repeat viewing but I could not sit through this again.
The Terror of Hallow's Eve (2017)
Timmy and The Trickster, worth a watch at Halloween
"It's Tim. It's not Timmy, it's Tim!" October 30th 1981, 15 year old Timmy - oops, sorry, Tim - is a monster nerd (a bit like me) and has a crush on the girl who works at the local shop. Her jock boyfriend and his two dumb pals beat him up, walking home Tim comes across a red pumpkin. He carves it and wishes that he could scare the bullies to death. Suddenly a small jester called The Trickster appears and says to Tim "You made the wish so let's play the game!" Tim lures the bullies back to his house where they are in for the fright of their lives. Caleb Thomas plays Tim, he is good fun but looks far older than 15, closer to 30. No doubt he was chosen for his height of 5ft 3" but nobody in their right mind are going to be convinced that he's 15! Some of the dialogue is clearly not 1981 and I am sure that I saw a car (Mazda?) in the background that was far too new. On the plus side Trickster is fun and I'd like to see him again, and there were plenty of nods to horror movies from the era (I saw Puppet Master, House, Evil Dead, Pumpkinhead, Alien, Salem's Lot, etc). Some of the special effects looked cheap but when the bullies get what they deserve it's enjoyable. John Carpenter provided some of the soundtrack which makes watching this for that alone worthwhile. The final part of the plot shifts to the modern day - at Haddonfield Mental Institution no less - but this feels hacked on to the main story and doesn't provided a terribly good ending. I like watching Halloween movies around Halloween and quite enjoyed this one, trust me there are far worse ones out there!
The Grudge (2019)
Don't let the poor reviews put you off, it's really not too shabby
"Once you step into the place where they died it never lets you go." Reboot and fourth movie in the American "Grudge" franchise, itself based on the 2002 Japanese original. Female detective and single mother Detective Muldoon investigates a series of grisly deaths that are all linked to a house, 44 Reyburn Drive. The plot does flip back and forth between different years but I had no problem what so ever keeping up with it. A supernatural horror movie there are plenty of jump scares, I could see most coming but a few did get me! There are also a few very gory scenes - a man shoots himself in the head, a woman cuts off her own fingers, a woman falls to her death and a man taking a shower suddenly has grotty looking fingers come out of the back of his head. Muldoon is played by Andrea Riseborough, her character is quite plain but if anything it makes her come across as quite normal, and I liked that. Scream Queen Lin Shaye is in the cast and her part is very good though it's only a relatively small one. The pace is never boring, I didn't expect much from this film but I actually found it to be a very satisfactory watch.
Tenebre (1982)
Tenebrae is quite simply terrific
"Tenebrae... Terror Beyond Belief" American author Peter Neal travels to Rome to promote his new novel "Tenebrae" but as soon as he arrives attractive young women start being viciously murdered by an unknown and taunting maniac. Tenebrae was my introduction to the movies of Italian director Dario Argento when a friend lent me his VHS tape (it was banned in Britain at the time under the farcical Video Nasties period). I was very impressed, about 12 years later is was one of the first DVDs that I bought - now passed uncut by the BBFC! Since then I have built up a small Tenebrae collection consisting of two VHS release, two DVD releases and Arrow's excellent special edition Blu-ray. And last night I went to see it on the big screen at a local independent cinema - it looked and sounded fantastic! The plot has a great twist as to the identity of the killer, needless to say that this no longer comes as a surprise on repeat viewing. The cinematography is incredible, the soundtrack is fantastic, the acting is good (the late great John Saxon is among the cast) and the bloody kills are almost shot like works of art. This is one of my favourite Giallo movies and unlike some the plot is easy to follow. It's not without faults mind you - for example a past killing of a young woman apparently took place in New York at an outside swimming pool that is surrounded with mature palm trees (which would not survive there). Of all the Video Nasties this is by far one of the better ones. Enough blood and violence for most splatter fans but this is so much more than just a gore movie. It's a masterpiece.
Prey (2022)
Comanche Girl versus Predator
"If it bleeds we can kill it!" It is 1719 in the Northern Great Plains of North America, Native American hunters are hunting a mountain lion but encounter an invisible alien creature that kills humans and animals alike. It boils down to young female hunter Naru to save the day. I heard good things about Prey upon its release, no question that it would look great on the big screen of a cinema/theatre but I opted to watch it at home on my 32" TV. A science fiction action/horror movie Prey does also have slasher elements - an unknown killer is stalking its victims, the wilderness setting was often used in slasher movies plus we have a Final Girl. The special effects on the whole are good and the scenery (shot in Canada) looks stunning. There is a great deal of action but for me this did gradually become somewhat tiresome. One of my biggest issues with the film is that much of the dialogue is very 21st Century instead of early 18th. Prey is a decent entry in the Predator franchise and well worth a watch but it is nowhere near as good as the 1987 Arnie original classic "Predator". To be honest I preferred Alien Vs Predator to Prey.
Daughters of Satan (1972)
Silly tale of witches' revenge
Museum curator James Roberson (Tom Sellack) buys an old painting of three witches being burnt at the stake, the one in the middle bears an uncanny resemblance to his wife Chris. When he takes it home strange things start to happen, including the sudden arrival of an odd housekeeper plus a big black Rottweiler dog. The far fetched plot has Chris as a descendant of the middle witch and by some incredible coincidence James is the descendant of the man about to light the fatal fire! The other two witches are the housekeeper and Kitty, High Priestess of the local Satanic coven. They plot their revenge, to kill James! First scene has a topless woman, strung up and being whipped during a Satanic Ceremony (an unconvincing one at that!). Later on the well endowed Chris suffers the same fate. These two scenes and a couple of stabbings are the only notable "shocking" parts, the rest of the movie is rather tame. Shot in the Philippines it often looks more like an exotic soap opera. Films that featured Satan and Black Magic were popular from the late 1960's and through the 70's but in the realms of Satanic cinema this is a very minor entry. The only real thing of interest being an early role for Tom Sellack, wearing a moustache, chest hair on show and driving around in a red open top sports car (looks like a British one to me but can't be certain) you can see Magnum, the TV character that was to make him a global star. He was only 27 at the time, Kitty the lead witch tries to seduce him (she was played by attractive looking 44 year old Tani Guthrie). I first watched this film on a small black and white portable TV back in the 1980's, I did a written review for it in my "horror notebook", I scored it a C and summed it up as a "good chilling story". Forty years or so on and I have watched it for a second time, it was nice seeing it in colour but I'll substitute "good" with "average".
Rosso sangue (1981)
"Kilometres huh?"
"It's absurd, completely absurd! Recuperative powers like that simply don't exist!" Well doc they do here, or more specifically for Greek madman Mikos they do,he is on a murder spree in the style of Halloween (but much gorier) in the USA. Absurd is the follow up to fellow Video Nasty "Anthropophagous: the Beast" (1980), both directed by Joe D'Amato (real name Aristide Massaccesi) though under the alternative name of Peter Newton for this one. George Eastman (real name Luigi Montefiori) is back as the beast, looking incredibly menacing, though minus his cannibalistic eating habits. As mentioned Absurd is set in the USA but was obviously shot in Europe (Italy), this lets it down as does a very obvious day for night scene that takes place in a woodland. There is more than a nod to the classic "Halloween" (1978) - Mikos is being pursued by a Sam Loomis type character, he is referred to as "the Bogeyman", the plot sees him terrorise a house at the end, the parents are out, the two children and baby sitter (Final Girl) being in grave danger. The soundtrack is quite menacing but too often it apes "Halloween". The Final Girl manages to blind Mikos but she makes a dumb decision alone with him in a large room - he can't see her and she has plenty of space but instead opts to get within arms reach of him. However I will forgive this as her final act is very memorable. Banned as a Video Nasty in the UK in 1984 it has now thankfully been passed uncut. I opted to watch the English language version, this runs 6 minutes longer than the Italian one though I don't know what the differences are. No female nudity but expect plenty of gore - a nurse has a medical drill put through her head, a man has his head put under a band saw, a girl has a pick impaled in her head, another has her head thrust inside a hot oven and so on. Gore fans will not be disappointed! Plenty here for fans of slasher/Italian /gore movies to enjoy.
Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense: Paint Me a Murder (1984)
"Worth more dead than alive"
Artist and heavy drinker Luke (James Laurenson) fakes his own death (at sea) in order to increase his sales but things don't go as planned. Not only does rich art dealer Vincent (David Robb) want more of his paintings (that are wonderfully morbid) but he also starts a romantic relationship with Luke's wife Sandra (Michelle Phillips, one time member of American band The Mamas & The Papas - she proved to be a good actress as well as a fine singer). "I won't go on sharing you with a ghost" Vince tells her. However Luke is living in Sandra's attic, only she knows that he is still alive but the police smell a rat. Needless to say that this is a thriller with twists and turns, fairly well executed. Alan Lake stars as a pretty typical Alan Lake character, he was to tragically die the same year that this TV movie was released (1984). Good use is made of filming locations that include derelict parts of London at one end and the steep white cliffs of England's south coast at the other. Also cool seeing all those 1970's and '80's vehicles. This is not the best entry in the TV series "Hammer House of Mystery & Suspense" but it is a dark twisty thriller that is worth a watch.
Dead & Buried (1981)
One of the better "Video Nasties"
"Welcome to Potter's Bluff - A New Way of Life" - which should really read Death/Life. The film is set in a small coastal town called Potter's Bluff, when the mist rolls in it did remind me somewhat of John Carpenter's classic "The Fog" (1980), and like that movie it does feature re-animated corpses. A number of visitors are photographed and killed by the locals, and the town's undertaker seems to be harbouring a dark secret. Sheriff Gills investigates and gets more than he bargained for in a truly shocking twist ending (no spoilers). Uncut for cinema release in the UK the film found itself banned on cassette as a Video Nasty. Dick Smith does provide some excellent gruesome special effects and make-up but in terms of nastiness it can't be compared to other movies that also got banned, e.g "Cannibal Holocaust", "I Spit on Your Grave" etc. At the same time in terms of quality Dead & Buried is far more superior than many of the other so-called nasties and this just shows what a travesty the whole affair was. Thankfully the movie has been legally available uncut in the UK for some time now. I do own it on the once banned Thorn EMI VHS and my review is based on that - needless to say that the picture and sound quality was relatively poor plus I watched it in the 4:3 ratio. My 7/10 score is reflected in this, I may well have scored it higher had I watched it on say Blu-ray. The beginning of the movie sees a photographer lured to a grisly demise by an attractive young blonde woman on a beach, a very promising start if that sort of thing rocks your boat! In addition to some effective gore the movie also manages to pack in a fair amount of atmosphere and suspense. Back in 1981 the slasher movie was king so credit must be given here for producing something very different - and doing a fine job of it too. Technically this is a zombie film but these walking corpses look and talk like normal alive people, which helps make it quite scary. Future "Freddy Krueger" actor Robert Englund plays one of the not so friendly locals. D&B is well worth watching.
Dug Up (2013)
Best left in the ground
"It's rednecks versus zombies and it's not a match of wits!" Horror "comedy" about a zombie outbreak in a small rural town. Three young grave robbers looking for buried treasure instead find a curious looking contraption that has a dial on it. We later fine out that this device is in fact a Necrometer - can't say that I've ever heard of one before - and it is used to raise the dead, which our dimwits have already done. I like seeing decaying zombies rise from their graves and to the film's credit we get to see this. And the ghouls' makeup is half decent too, though the CGI used for bloody gunshots etc looks very cheap. I also liked the fact that the lead guy explains that these are undead zombies as opposed to viral ones, therefore being bitten by one will not turn that person into a zombie. What lets this movie down big time for me is firstly the juvenile humour, farting and sex gags are only funny for so long until they become repetitive and boring. For me this happened very early on in the plot. Secondly there is the acting, it ranges from bad to abysmal. The zombie-comedy sub genre has been done to death, most are mediocre or below, this is by no means the worst that I have seen but I certainly won't be digging it up again.
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Theatrical version, not quite as good as I remember but still a classic
"When there's no more room in Hell the dead will walk the Earth." Continuing on from director George Romero's seminal "Night of the Living Dead" (1968) America is in the grip of a zombie apocalypse. Four survivors (two SWAT guys, a helicopter pilot and his pregnant girlfriend) take shelter in a shopping mall. Apart from a few gormless looking zombies on the lower floor this seems to be the perfect place to hole up. That is until one of them is bitten by a zombie, things get even worse when a biker gang force their way in. Many people say that this is the best zombie movie ever made. That is debatable but it is certainly up there with the best, personally I would call it the best action zombie film. As well as being a horror movie there is a ton of action, there is also a lot of humour too. Fun and grim in equal amounts. I have watched "Dawn of the Dead", aka "Zombies: Dawn of the Dead" numerous times on VHS and DVD but this was my first time on Blu-ray. In terms of quality BR is obviously far better, however it can also show more grain and faults with effects etc. Special effects maestro Tom Savini opted for grey skin for the zombies but patches of body paint missed by the make-up artists are more obvious, the blood looks like bright red paint and some of the flesh chomps look fake. VHS and DVD helped mask these things. However some of Savini's effects on show - such as head explosions - are superb. One of the most famous scenes has a zombie lose the top of his head by a helicopter blade. The actor has obviously had his head built up and he looks like Oddbod from the classic comedy "Carry on Screaming", I found that more funny than shocking. In addition to being an action/zombie film it is also a satire on the American obsession with consumerism, which is does very well. To sum it up in one sentence Dawn has lots of action and gore, the acting is good, there are some suspenseful moments, great musical score and the scenes shot both inside and outside of the mall are superb. On previous viewings I probably would have scored this 10/10 but tonight I'm going with a still impressive 9. The 2004 remake is also very good.
The Lords of Salem (2012)
Losers of Salem
Radio DJ and recovering drug addict Heidi (Sheri Moon Zombie) receives a mysterious vinyl record sent by an unknown band called The Lords. She becomes plagued with horrific visions and starts re-using drugs. I have been a fan of Rob Zombie musically since the mid 1990's and always seek out his movies. These are a mixed bag in terms of quality but I always admire his love of the horror genre. I have waited 12 years to finally watch Salem. Unfortunately it is the worst film of his that I have so far seen (which is all but two) and I am glad that I didn't waste money buying it on DVD. It is set in Salem in the Fall, I liked that plus the musical score is good. Sadly I found the film slow, some of the acting was poor and the plot is a confusing mess. Rob's wife Sheri appears in nearly every scene, I don't dislike her as an actress but wasn't impressed with her here. Nice to see Ken Foree, Dee Wallace and Judy Geeson in the cast, however I failed to recognise genre favourites Sid Haig or Michael Berryman. And I won't be watching it again to seek them out! There are some bizarre vision sequences, possibly inspired by Ken Russell's "Lair of the White Worm" but not in the same league. Being a Rob Z film expect nudity, strong language and graphic violence. Jason Blum of Blumhouse acted as a producer so he can take some of the blame for this crap.
Carnifex (2022)
Beast in the Bush
Aspiring documentary maker Bailey and two conservationists - Grace and Ben - travel deep into the great Australian Bush to track and record wildlife after a bush fire. However when night falls they are the ones that are being tracked - by a creature thought extinct, the carnivorous marsupial Thylacoleo Carnifex! Incidentally the word "carnifex" is Latin for butcher or executioner. Bailey is a film maker but thankfully this is not a found footage movie, they could have gone to the route but perhaps wisely didn't. The film successfully generates fear and suspense but gore fans will not have much to cheer about. The first human victim is a hunter killed early on, very little is seen, then it takes a while for the next death. This didn't bother me because I liked the three main characters, plus a delightful dog called Goose (credited as Holly), and the Bush with its fauna and animals (kangaroos, koala, dingo, etc) was nicely shot. The creature itself isn't seen a great deal, just as well because it looks like a weird cross of koala and ape. I do like Aussie TV and films so I am always interested when I come across one, strewth, Carnifex is hardly bonza but it's worth a look mate!