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Reviews
The Acolyte (2024)
Had potential, but still surprised by poor quality.
The special effects were surprisingly bad for a production like this. It distracted from the many other shortcomings evident in the first couple of episodes. It tends to be schoolyard story drama, perhaps it should have been called Jedi High Blues. Lesley Headland has penned a promising story, but seems to have lost me at hello. It doesn't help that everyone has turned on Disney, but still, Andor was a strong story which had little to do with the original story arcs, and it was faithful enough to win over the loyal fans across the 47 years of established storytelling and lore, not to mention the Mandalorian, and the best Disney era Star Wars movie in Rogue One. No, Headland is not convincing me that she understands what the paying public want, and her vision for the Star Wars universe is flawed at best. So the potential wasted may simply be a case of another writer/director manifesting the Disney vision.
Argylle (2024)
I started to worry after the first ten minutes.
I found the first half of this movie entertaining enough, it's odd that the weakest element of the plot became the main plot... Watching the trailers and seeing all of the advertisements for this film, I expected a movie with Henry Cavil as the main protagonist. Or at least a movie with the main focus on him. But as the film progresses and the story unfolds, I found myself watching a completely different story with the main characters failing to do anything to make the viewer want to invest in this new direction. It was a long boring, convoluted, and unpleasant experience in the end. I am convinced that something went wrong during the production of this film because as an audience member, it was just below average and I was glad when it was over...
Dark (2017)
Mind bending, and fantastic.
The word 'paradox' takes on a completely different dimension in this story... The characters have been so interwoven and tangled in this complex story, it makes all other time travel stories seem pedestrian. I found myself having to watch several episodes twice with many paused conversations in an attempt to try and understand what we just watched... Each version of the characters are acted very well, and I am kicking myself for taking this long to watch it. The first season takes several episodes to explore the complex world we are thrown into, however by the last episodes the viewer gets the idea of what the theory being presented. Be immersed by this Rubik's cube world of possibilities.
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023)
Hoping not to be disappointed by another Transform movie.
When I rented this movie, I was sure that it was about transforming robots, probably a sort of fun but probably mostly boring action science fiction stuff with the Michael Bay slow panning of the camera and a ridiculous amount of U. S flags in the background. What I got was a racially charged movie which spent most of my time expressing themes of inequality, socioeconomic themes showing the evil nature of humans with a particular white skin tone, and particularly the evils of the male gender. But the strange thing is, I swore that I had sat down to watch another transformer movie!?! Why was so much of the script time dedicated on themes which had nothing to do with the core story? I mean, at one point the O. J Simpson trial could be overheard playing on the radio... I get that the story took place in 1994, but why the choose these agendas? Why cram politics, gender, and race down our throats during a Transformers movie for god's sake! I found that I was repeatedly double checking the title to make sure that I was, you know... Watching a damned TRANSFORMERS MOVIE!!!
And Just Like That... (2021)
From the point of view of the forced husband viewer.
My once girlfriend and now wife exposed me to SATC years ago. I became quiet fond of the show, not so much the movies, (maybe just the first movie).
The other reviews makes the overwhelming sentiments of the poor writing of this latest show pretty standard. The only reason why this show will, no, MUST fail, is because of the disrespect shown to the core characters and the original, established writing... Imagine buying tickets to watch a Star Wars movie only to discover that you're actually watching a woke modern piece on the popular culture of Hollywood... It's garbage writing, garbage additional characters, horrible cram-down-your-throat themes, and stupid gross sex scenes...
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
Disrespectful treatment of Ford.
The movie has a very solid start with the flashback sequence, I felt that this harkening back to the traditional method operandi of the Jones character proves that the producers knew exactly what they were doing moving forward. The flash forward to the storyline of the movie takes place in 1969. IJ is portrayed as a washed up drunk living in a tiny apartment alone, I won't spoil the circumstances which put him in this position, but suffice to say that from this point on, the Jones character is portrayed as a sorry fumbling old man for the rest of the movie. Weller-Bridge should never have been cast, her character is beyond redemption and contempt, she is constantly treating the Jones character with the kind of disrespect one would expect from the antagonist. Her character is so terrible that the actual villain seems tame by comparison... That's saying a lot since the bad guy is Mads Mikkelson!! Looking into the recent awfulness of Disney's treatment of classic movies, I have found that one name keeps popping up in these bad films and characters... Kathleen Kennedy...
Citadel (2023)
Stanley Tucci is the only salvation here.
Storyline lifted from the mission impossible franchise. Production value and polish is sharp so it looks great, but the female lead is pretty awful and hard to digest. The action is kinda cool, although the train sequence at the start was pretty ridiculous! Stan Tucci was criminally underutilised, it's an okay show to watch overall, it is a bit unfortunate that there are so many negative comments on IMDB. If you're a fan of this kind of spy show-espionage drama, you should be pretty entertained if ignore the female lead. It was an odd casting choice and she has zero chemistry with the male lead, and the show suffers because of it.
Longest Third Date (2023)
Cute story, fascinating situation, annoying camera boyfriend!
Having packed up and move to Europe for a year, my wife and I were intrigued to see this story unfold... Becoming stranded on holiday during a pandemic whilst on a third date is a recipe for disaster. But I just couldn't get over the guy in this story, we were all watching this show and just being embarrassed by this guy's tendency to film the most inappropriate things for the sake of his egotistical YouTube channel. The worst was him filming himself while driving a vehicle then putting his car on its side into the water... Then filming the locals helping them right the car up! The man bun, the topples filming of himself jogging, eating, drinking, getting haircuts... I struggled to the end, but my wife sort of liked it, so 4 it is...
Wildcat (2022)
A unique story, and an emotional journey.
Two people and two wild cats come together and support each other whilst trying to survive in the middle of the Peruvian jungle. Through a journey of heartbreak and joy, we as viewers are exposed to this unique experience and often uncomfortable time in these people's lives. It is the first act of this documentary where the hardest part of this story unfolds, the couple who are trying to establish a carnivore conservation program find themselves in possession of a beautiful wild cat who they name Khan. From there the story often becomes pretty confronting at times, the raw emotion and fragility of the main characters often reflects the vulnerability the animals face in their care. The third act falls flat a bit, and could have been 20 minutes shorter and paced a little better, but ultimately a good watch and a worthwhile story.
The Meg (2018)
Suspended disbelief is just not enough.
Deep sea research facility, billionaire backer, all involved in research of the Mariana Trench. Massive shark somehow surviving for around 2.5 million years undetected at a depth of over 11km held in place by a layer of cold underwater gas is interrupted by humans and follows them through cold gas on their way to the surface... The rest of the movie then relies on a series of well established shark movie scenarios lifted from the great monster movies like Jaws, the abyss, Godzilla, Deep Blue Sea, the deep... etc. Statham saves this movie simply because he's just so extra! Bingbing Li is annoying and hilarious all at once, her makeup, her poor acting, her ridiculous dialogue, garbage. Even if you go into this for background noise, the whole thing feels like a Chinese knock off - pun intended.
Willow (2022)
Struggling with the cast, and struggling with the acting.
"Like totally bad ass princes..." And with that piece of dialogue from the main culprit of this farce, my hopes for a well written or perhaps performed story were dashed. The series picks up '200 moons' after the events of the first. The queen has had two children with Mad Mardigan, and Elora Dannen has been placed in witness protection again. After the typical arranged marriage and reluctant princes scenario unfolds in the first act, the palace is attacked by mysterious, but well thought out enemies, and the prince gets himself handsomely kidnapped... Enter quest to rescue... The, by now highly unlikable and clearly gay princes, heads out to save her helpless but handsome brother from the forces of evil. The prince's life long guardian and protector who is part of their group gets killed in an attack and she doesn't even acknowledge his death! Instead opting to run away and later snuggle with her female companion by the campfire. The spirit of family and friendship which helped develop the characters in the original movie have been set aside to tick boxes and ensure that the cold, selfish, narcissistic nature of the new contemporary characters blaze trails... I gave it a 3 for Warwick...
Resident Evil (2022)
Dear Netflix... You suck...
So the two main characters exhibit no form of redeeming qualities, aside from Lance Redick, who is under-utilised, the main characters actually turned me off this whole silly franchise... Now it's a vegan teenager who is responsible for the destruction of mankind, and most of the animal kingdom too LOL! I'll wait for World War Z 2 for a decent zombie verse... The constant flashing back and forth between future and past makes a collection of distasteful characters on two fronts. Every time those little brats open their traps to badly act out another scene I would feel sorry for my precious wasted afternoon... Netflix is on thin ice, they are circling the drain...
The Midnight Club (2022)
It's a confused version of gen Z Twilight Zone & Sweet Valley High.
Horror? Drama? Endearing love story? Elements of all of these and a somewhat distant subplot trying to convince the viewer that it's a relevant part of the show?? The main character is annoying, selfish, and seems to keep reminding people that she is really smart... But then does really dumb things... it's hard to connect with her at all. The orbital cast is much more interesting and is frankly more fun to watch. The scary bits, (the story's horror, not the stories the patients tell each other), is very interesting and draws you in and you just want more! But unfortunately, these fragments, these crumbs of plot development can be measured in minutes and seconds at the start and/or end of each drama filled episode of Sweet Valley High...
The Bling Ring (2022)
Horrible, despicable, delusional humans...
And then there is that mother.... Highly watchable show, it went through the various moving parts of the "bling ring". The MAIN player and ring leader isn't even part of the documentary, but the 2IC, Nick something did an excellent job at being candid about some pretty obnoxious behaviour. As the episodes rolled on you will undoubtedly find yourself needing pain killers from the headaches you will develop from over shaking of your head... These humans are beyond contemptuous... The Nick character is at the very least, honest about being a criminal. But the rest of them, Alexis and that mother of hers stunk up my TV... Hug your kids...
Moonfall (2022)
3 for Patrick Wilson & John Bradley... That's it!
Out of all the inconsistencies and ridiculously substandard storytelling, one thing which really bugged me was how did they insist with that satellite phone throughout the movie!?! I assume that said phone would probably require an orbital satellite?? Visually impressive though, Patrick Wilson carries the movie well and John Bradley is entertaining and believable. I'm can see why Halle Berry seems to be doing les and less these days. She is pretty unconvincing in almost every aspect of this character, she somehow got a bigger role than Donald Sutherland! Overall fun movie to watch when you are sick in bed, or on a long flight and literally have nothing else to do with your time.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
$1b spent and counting... But none left over for actors?
It's a concern when the only thing a television show has to offer is it's price tag, it's almost as if I'm being told to watch it out of obligation to the cost. And that's exactly how I feel three episodes in... The female leads are interesting and strong, in spite of their ability as actors. The almost forgettable and incidental male roles are weak, forced, and seem to be there only as necessary slap on additions to an already weak, (so far), storyline. After almost 3 hours of run time, I hoped to have a better experience than this? Are we to wait until the final two episodes for the show to, "come together?" Why are the gender roles so overtly on display here..? Is a male lead in such a large cast simply too dirty a word these days?? Hmmm, but for $1b, it is clear so far that the true stars of this show are the sets and effects...
Elvis (2022)
10 for Austin Butler, 0 for the movie.
The pace and spot pick style of storytelling of this type only acts to disconnect the storyteller from their audience. Moving from scene to scene, jumping years forward then backwards mid chapter is hard to follow. Even the frenetic pace and scene cutting mid dialogue is difficult to watch. It took me two sittings to finish the whole movie. I'm not a big fan of EP but even I noticed the timeline discrepancies! But, oh boy that Austin Buttler nailed that role!! I wish the movie focused on a period of EP's life in each act and developed the story from there. The attempt to squeeze in as many parts of his life in almost three hours of movie just ended up looking like a mess of cut scenes.
The Terminal List (2022)
Fast paced and engaging.
Well made, very fast paced, can't miss an episode! Pratt seems comfortable playing the brooding lead and he's very comfortable with the violence too! It's actually pretty cool to see some proper action and gore, the graphic nature and sometimes negative nature of some of the themes are surprisingly need that natural violent conclusions. It's refreshing to see the actors/directors embracing their roles in it all. I didn't know how much a show like this was missing from my life until I watched the first three episodes! Excellent work from the whole cast.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (2022)
A solid new trek.
After 2 episodes. It has promise, it has potential, and it has the spirit of OS/Next Gen/Voyger, and Deep space. Ok, it suffers from the usual general pandering and tries to tick every possible gender, colour, creed, and sexuality box out there atm. But it's nowhere near as horrible as Discovery! And the core group of characters are well poised to re-ignite a new trek universe. It reminds me of the hope, (and hype), the Enterprise series had at the start of its run. It was a fantastic show! But it just fell flat and lost that "trek-ness" that this show seems to have. Pyke is solid and this show's writing is solid. Fingers crossed!
The American (2010)
Neo noire set against an unique backdrop.
The beginning of the feature set off at a pretty frantic pace. It had a shock sequence of events, the violence of the event was intensified by the stark white snow and the deep crimson blood you bare witness to. The cold setting also gives the first act an uncomfortable sense of urgency and dread. The movie then turns to Clooney as his character flees to tiny little town which looks amazing btw... It's a very authentic look at life in a typical small any town EU, but the story arc fluctuates and I found myself having to choose which of the subplots I should be following to properly understand the character and what the hell is actually going on. Overall the film is beautifully shot and I've watched it twice just for this. The director has a unique eye for capturing landscape and architecture to draw the viewer in. I felt like I was back in Italy throughout the entire movie. The dialogue is subdued and often melancholic. Clooney's performance is stellar and indeed the whole cast offer that same melancholy in their deliveries. The speedmaster clooney wears on his wrist is 🔥 and indeed his style is pretty cool too. Give this movie two goes and I'm sure it will grow on you... Except maybe the plot itself. That's a bit meh...
Ghostbusters (2016)
Not a very good movie.
I just watched GB Afterlife and I wanted to watch this as well. Ahhh, what was that? Why was it so necessary for a gender reversal to such a classic? Was the OG GB that controversial? How did Afterlife manage multiple strong female leads, and this movie just utterly fail?? I now understand why this movie didn't make the GB box set... I can't even rate it properly because I don't feel that it is a GB movie? It's a stand alone mess with very good special effects... I highly recommend you watch Afterlife and experience a great GB movie with better female leads...
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Reeves and Groff carry this thing.
The story actually had great potential, and some of the action sequences are scary good, (the swarm bombs), but too much time and script is spent trying to get the new kids on the block to look cool and forced relevance, relegating the OG characters to something a kin to sidekicks. The Morphius storyline glossed over. The Smith story, glossed over. Moss is fantastic and given more depth which was great, but why bother with the whole role reversal? 3 movies were spent building the story of Neo why piss that away? Did the New Star Wars movies teach you nothing!?! The humour and piss taking was awful and tone deaf! Overall it was an exercise in ticking boxes, making sure everyone had a painfully equal part to play... What a shame. Stinky end to an generation defining movie...
Bad Vegan: Fame. Fraud. Fugitives. (2022)
Sarma is no victim...
The staff of that restaurant and we, the viewer, are the real victims here.
Im not sure what message the producers of this program were trying to convey here. The main players in this farce seem to have completely relieved themselves of their senses... Manipulative people can only get as far as their audience allows them. This Netflix show only seems to have constructed a fine pile of dung with this one...
Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)
Ok movie let down by it's lead.
Watch it if you're plans for the day fall through...The sequel to an ok concept, these sorts of puppet master thriller quests have been a B grade fave since the Cube. It is fun enough, but I couldn't figure out why I found the Zoe character so hard to like, until I figured that she is a cast member from the new Lost in Space which has been ruined as well. She seems to keep getting work despite that awful, annoying voice she puts on...
Onward (2020)
An adventure through a fantastical world.
The Pixar game has become so strong and visually engaging that every time I watch something new I think, 'no way they can ever get it better than this' but they do, and they have with Onward. Two brothers, one quest, half a dad, what's not to like!!