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NYPD Blue: The Backboard Jungle (1996)
Awful episode. A cringe fest through and through.
I usually enjoy cop shows, but NYPD Blue is not doing it for me. The character are obnoxious and act unprofessional throughout, the side stories are like they were taken from a daytime soap, and very few of the cases caught my attention so far. But now that I've seen this episode, I can officially say this show is clearly not for me. I've sensed the preachiness all along, but boy, this time they just went for it head on. And what's most ironic, is that they just conveyed the wrong message with it. This episode, alongside others tackling the « racial issues » in American shows, only add grist to the mill of people reluctant to living amongst « different people », if you can't use certain words (in response to someone else's provocative remarks) without causing a public outrage. The failure of western society, right there in front of us. Don't bother.
Oz (1997)
What an incredible show...
I mean, even the bad was good. Even the things I find off-putting in other series, had redeeming qualities there. Of course it still isn't enough for me to give it a 10, or a 9 even, but I've had a great time (re)discovering this show. I was literally immersed in the lives of all the prisoners, who are despicable people, doing awful things to each other. Even in the confines of a high security prison, so imagine what they would be capable of doing, out there in the « real » world? Well we did see what they were capable of, each time a prisoner was introduced by the narrator, Augustus Hill. And regardless of that, I was taken by their stories, and those characters I didn't like or thought had no redeeming qualities got offed at one point, which I appreciated. Of course there's the big bad, Schillinger, but he was fascinating, both in the way he was written and portrayed onscreen. And the most ironic thing about him, was that he was one of the few inmates who went to prison trying to protect the lives of someone else's. Of course there are other characters I liked, like Hill (who was the first of many « inner thoughts » characters in a TV drama), Saïd (even though I hated him at first, and we never actually knew why he got arrested), and the irresistible duo, Busmalis and Rebadow, or the O'Reilly brothers, whose love for each other, was one of the most compelling relationships in the show. Or Beecher and Keller, who were my « days of our lives » moments between all the killings and violence. And then there's Alvarez, who was probably the only one who truly grew from his experience in Em City. I know that he did awful things, unspeakable things even, but he's still the character whose arc throughout the series felt like a true spiritual journey. And helped him learn his lesson. I was bummed when Glynn was written out and Querns took over, but he also learned his lesson, and left his racial biases behind apparently... I have nothing against the « teachers » but some of them preachiness, political correctness even, really got on my nerves sometimes. The more they were trying to do « the right thing » the worst it got for everyone involved. And the way dr. Nathan began to have a crush on Ryan O'Reilly, was just too weird (even for me). I also thought the last couple of episodes felt rushed, but for all that, the way the series ended didn't feel unfulfilling. I wished I saw how the relationship between Alvarez and Alonzo developed, only it's clear it wasn't the writers priority. Speaking of which, the writing could get soapy sometimes, but nothing too extreme. The actors however... I have absolutely nothing bad to say about either one of them. They were all outstanding, and those characters that would look cartoonish in other shows (I'm looking at you « Orange Is the New Black »...) were perfectly brought to life by those brilliant performances. I had a pit in the stomach knowing the end was approaching, but like I said, the final was worth it and didn't make me regret anything (except Chris's death maybe). More than twenty years later, the analysis is clear: as entertainment as « Oz » was, the questions it raised throughout the episodes, still remain and nothing has really changed since. In fact prison was stripped of its deterrent image, and some even take pride in staying there, when it should be the opposite. At least when they do, because opposing to what is described in the series, the law became more lenient depending which background criminals come from. So how would the show look like today? Personally I'm glad it « didn't age well », because it also helped assessing how things went wrong with this particular topic, and society in general. And now that I've seen all the HBO series I wanted, I'm putting this one at the top of my list, and highly recommend it to anyone who's reading my review, hoping it didn't spoil too much for them.
Faking It (2014)
Destroyed by years of woke propaganda on TV.
I used to think that the show was bold and original. And loved it until the end, I was even disappointed when it got cancelled. Only ten years later, I couldn't bring myself to go past the pilot episode, thanks to decades of far left lobbying on TV and cinema. This bludgeoning of biases and closed minded speeches resistant to nuanced opinions, ceased to destroy the appeal these special and unconventional topics, used to justify for me. Today shows like « Faking It » are commonly and the dialogue and humor make you cringe with its lack of vision. They criticize everything that doesn't float their boat and turn into nasty political score settling, simplistic interactions between stereotypical characters you only see in cartoons. I guess they just got the opposite effect of what they wanted.
The Cell (2000)
All style and a lot of substance too.
I remember this movie not being a huge success back in 2000, and seeing it only once on rented DVDS and never again since. Well I just did, and I loved it. Some of the casting choices like Jennifer Lopez and Vince Vaughn can be off putting to some, but they would be wrong brushing off the movie because of that. Not only were they good, but so were their characters. D'Onofrio could look weird as well in the role of the serial killer, considering he's playing a cop in a popular TV show later, but he pulls it off nicely. Now the futuristic device to enter people's subconscious and dream sequences makes the story stand out the most, but the killer's motive also has some originality to it, and the way he is handled by the heroine is perfectly in line with his psyche (not sure what the horse was doing there, though). There are tiny plot holes, like when the cop figures out where the last victim is held captive, but maybe it's just me not paying attention enough... I was personally impressed by the directing sometimes, the movie has a very thorough aesthetic and beautiful costumes. It still remains another psychological thriller amongst all the other psychological thrillers made, but the uniqueness is such that you can still have a good time watching it and probably find new things each time you do. There's also graphic violence, especially one scene in particular, but unlike some current movies, it is done with taste and has a purpose to the main plot. It feels a little blockbusters-ish around the edges too, but nothing too bad. And the soundtrack includes no Jlo tracks...
Wonderfalls (2004)
You can also see it as a mini-series.
So many good shows were canceled after one season back in the day. If I'm not mistaken, Wonderfalls was cancelled the same year North Shore, Tru Calling and Point Pleasant were, which goes to show how inconstant Fox was, and still is by the way. I know another show did the same thing at the same time, but Joan of Arcadia didn't have Wonderfalls unique tone and snappy humor. Both shows were about a young woman who helped people through God's advices, but unlike Joan, these requests manifested in the mouths of animals shaped objects for Jaye, not people. Which made her mission all the more comical and original. The show could also tackle important issues, but never in the dramatic, borderline preachy way JOA did. I like both shows, but Wonderfalls is the one that aged the best I think, and the whole cast is a treat to watch onscreen. Apart from the pilot episode, which I find a little slow to settle, I loved all the episodes, especially the one with Rue McClanahan, which is my favorite of the series. It ends with Jaye getting her (maybe) happy ending with Eric, but I still wished there was at least one more season to carry on the adventures with her. The DVD version didn't change a lot of songs and the ones that were, don't sound too bad. So in that sense, it also has my preference over the other show mentioned earlier. Try to catch it somewhere, it is really worth it and Caroline Dhavernas is great in that role. All her roles actually, but in this one, she gets to show her comedic skills more.
Grey's Anatomy: This One's for the Girls (2024)
Like watching paint dry...
I was curious to check this episode, because someone posted it online, and I wanted to see how the show was doing after all this time. All I can say is, end it. Don't think, just do it, because this isn't Grey's anatomy anymore. It feels like a weird spinoff series with cheap production and old cast members who are still in the show for god knows what... In each of the Teddy/Owen scenes I kept wondering what was the point of having them around. All of the « old » cast members feel ill-timed actually. And after reading some users complaining about the stupid dialogue lately, after the out of left field « feminist » rant midway the episode, I feel their pain... The new interns are still as dull as I left them years ago. I can't think of one I liked or thought had an interesting thing going. Or good medical case to solve. The medical cases in this show became so anecdotal you wonder why it even takes place in a hospital, or if this completely different looking building wasn't moved to LA. The doctors in charge are inexistant and seem to be working at a different place even. And when it comes to the romance and sleeping around, the couples are like watching two cousins kissing. Even gay sex got boring and conventional in « dems anatomy » apparently. And none of the music placements felt inspired. So they think Sophia Bush can save this train wreck? Good luck with that...
I don't know how I went from 1 out of 7 to 0 out of 6. But maybe the website has an explanation for that? I'm kidding, of course they don't. This website is rigged and ran by trolls anyway...
Veronica Mars: Years, Continents, Bloodshed (2019)
How to destroy the Veronica Mars brand for good.
There's only one explanation to how dismal this fourth season is: the creator and everyone else involved in the project, wanted out of the project. And they've succeeded at making it as unpleasant as possible, it was so unwatchable, I was hoping for the show to be put down quickly. And it was, oh how bad it was... First the characters, including our beloved lead (anti) heroine, got obnoxious and cynical in the most pathetic and unfunny way. Or simply boring when they weren't. Their dialogues were trying to be edgy, using foul language in a very obvious and falsely unapologetic manner, and to top it all off, each of the situations they were put through throughout the episodes, were written according to Hollywood's « modern » standards. You know, This far away world where everything and everyone is WOKE, and female characters acting crass all the time, expect to be treated with respect by male characters who are clearly too stupid to control their urges (violent or otherwise) to get the memo fast enough?... So after episodes of this, bad camerawork (I hate the TV movie format they went with) topped with useless characterizations of fictional people I wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with (and a bunch of random callbacks to the worst season the show's ever had), I had to endure the painfully convoluted and slow investigation of a series of weirdly timed bombings. Obviously, the bomber couldn't be the men hating bartender, because that would be against this revival's crew of talentless writers religion(s)... No, it was actually the hobbit looking guy, I thought since the first episode, would make the perfect cop out for a satisfying and not too problematic conclusion. But at the same time, he got rid of Logan, so he still has my vote. The series end with Veronica listening to a silly tape of her lost love (wait, didn't she fantasized about Leo, and almost kissed him a couple of episodes ago?) kissing the ground she walks on (during one of his therapy sessions...), her father finding her replacement in a lovely young lady, who enjoys seeing people getting butchered in front of her, apparently. And the rest of the morale less citizens of Neptune, back to living in this city of more or less acceptable degrees of corruption. Worst spring break ever... By the way, what happened to the chino gang who beheads people for fun? Didn't they also deserved to pay for their crimes? Of course not, they don't own real estates...
Thanksgiving (2023)
Old school slasher of modern times.
This is my kind of slasher. The story is compelling, the characters are well written and the killer's motives make sense. I found he was a little harsh with some, like Yulia (who was also trampled during the Thanksgiving riot), but I think the killer had a grudge against her father too. It's the first time in a long time I got into the death scenes (which brought me back to classics like My Bloody Valentine, I know what you did Last Summer or Valentine) and even found some of them to be suspenseful. I'm so glad of how reminiscent to those post Halloween/Scream slashers this one was, which is something the genre is missing a lot these days. Granted the gore is tacky, but it's not just gore for the sake of gore, there's tension and the acting is good. Now there's also the weak links like Addison Rae (but her character isn't so central to the story) but this ensemble cast worked wonders, and seeing Patrick Dempsey play the killer after we suspected him to be it in Scream 3, was as rewarding as we would've imagined back then. I was a little disappointed by that final jump scare/dream sequence, which I thought would be the killer axing the heroine's boyfriend in half, but I guess the studio preferred this version... The opening scene was crazy and too realistic as well. That's another thing I loved about Thanksgiving, it really captured today's mentalities and poked fun at it in a subtle and relatable way. So after seeing all of Roth's movies (including Green Inferno (yikes...), I think this one is my favorite of his and I can't wait to see the sequel, hoping it will be as effective.
V (2009)
The ending felt like a slap on the face...
It completely destroyed the little appeal the show had for me. I'm usually not a fan of sci-fi, but I've heard about the original series for ages, and liked the actors, so I settled for this version. All I can say is that it was a so so series, until that terribly written series finale. Didn't creators knew the show wouldn't have a third season, after the mediocre ratings the show got throughout its run on ABC? Or did they do this out of spite to the network? Whichever way you put it, it was a low blow to viewers who've been patient all this time, expecting that a satisfying conclusion would come out of these last few episodes. At one point I even thought it would, when the original series « vilain » tried to dethrone her overzealous daughter and the crowd bowed to her. But they just killed her off, and had the evil daughter exact her plan to colonize earth, with the help of the halfbreed she stole from her parents, who'd just killed her biological father minutes earlier. I won't lie, I was glad Tyler was killed off (because I hated him) but the fact that his mother joined the ultimate anti V force, minutes before the « final bliss » ruined the little satisfaction it brought... And why did the show become so gory all of a sudden? I'm so mad I only give the series one star instead of the average rating, I planned on giving it. That'll teach them for stringing us along like that...
Salem's Lot (2024)
V for vapid, not vampires...
I wished I saw the original version or the 2004 remake with Rob Lowe, even. Instead of this rehashed and terribly written modernization, which is the new trendy word for useless remakes nobody, except the woke fanatics who want to remake everything to suit their own style, even asked for. This one is just as awful, shallow and predictable as the previous modernized versions of old titles we've seen so far. Really, was it a parody of the 1979 original? The script looks as if it was written by a ten year old, the characters are uninteresting and poorly developed, or portrayed even. And the horror is just not there and looks silly most of the time (the monster looked scarier in the TV movies), with a watered down tone you only find in things targeted to kids and teenagers. I even thought I was watching another « Fright Night » remake at one point... Why pick a black kid to play Mark Petrie, instead of the Glick brothers? Why can't Americans stop pushing those stupid agendas in everything they do?! And what was Alfre Woodard doing in this mess? I'm not talking about the other actors, because they were either bad or not utilized enough. I did not even need to know it was made by the same guy who wrote those dreadful IT movies, to know it was. Also, when was the story taking place? Nothing about what was shown onscreen, looked remotely seventies. In fact it could fit to any today's small town setting, where you have hipsters and vegans roaming around, pretending they live in « retro city ». All of this is just so banal and overdone, I wonder if I'll ever enjoy another streaming movie again. Or maybe streaming is just not good at producing stuffs? Either way, I doubt anyone would've paid a movie ticket to see this in cinema, which is the saddest part, because the film was produced by « New Line Cinema ». It's definitely a flop, just as bad as Pet Cemetery prequel and Hellraiser reboot and probably a big disappointment to fans of the novel too.
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (1993)
The leads chemistry saves the show for me...
I was surprised to hear it was on prime time TV. From the looks of it, I thought this cartoonish tone fitted more a morning show mainly targeted to kids. Even the most ridiculous episodes of the Smallville series had a certain degree of seriousness. Lois and Clark though, is corny and why shows like Charmed became less appealing trying to copy this format... Some might like it, but I've always had a hard time enjoying this show because of it, however since the series was on streaming, I've decided to give it another chance. My conclusion is, season one had the best ensemble cast, season 2 the best episodes (especially during the first half), season 3 is the worst (half of it is barely watchable) and season 4 is the best, because the show was finally bringing interesting goals to the heroes lives and ended the way Superman's story on earth began... Unfortunately, no revival has been made since, and we're still yet to know by whom and why this mysterious baby was sent to The Clark's. Like my title suggests, most of the show's appeal lies in the cast (and guest appearances) and the soft parody of superheroes shows approach it took throughout its run. The writing isn't so great either, but it's just so silly sometimes you don't even mind. It's fluffy, sometimes entertaining and very 90s with those popular TV actors and actresses making their way into some of the episodes. See if you like.
Terrifier (2016)
Obviously not my horror sensation...
But amongst all the dull and self indulgent duds they call horror these days, I find myself more and more intrigued by this franchise. So as I don't do things in order, I've watched part 2 first, and hated it so much, I hesitated a long time before watching part 1. And now that I finally did, I would give it two things: better acting and great tension during some of the key moments. Apart from that, I still thought that the characters acted stupidly throughout and the chase scenes got tedious near the end. Also, I honestly regretted Victoria didn't survive the way all final girls do, but instead was turned into a freak show who takes as much pleasure as Art killing and dismembering people. She really put a fair fight and deserved to come out on top of it. Fortunately for us, we'll have her replacement in the next movies, but the feeling of having an interesting character thrown under a bus for the sake of shock, remains... The gore isn't as heavy handed and shocking as part. 2 as well, which I appreciated more, because it helped make those scenes more believable and be invested in what was shown onscreen. Of course the movie is still a bad exemple on how to make a good slasher movie, with the aforementioned flaws, but at least it's one of the rarest current horror movies that did not make me feel like I was wasting my time watching it. And obviously, the guy who plays Art does a great job portraying it. I think it's a movie everyone (who isn't too squeamish) should watch just to make up their own mind about it and the hype it got over the years.
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)
People who preferred the first movie...
Hated this one, and from where I stand, it's not a guarantee of pertinence. I can't stand the original movie, with its annoying characters and stupid script, it is one of the most overrated horror films in cinema history. « Book of shadows » has more appeal, a story in which events of the first installment are established in a « movie inside a movie » kind of way, which I thought got you into the plot right away. The characters are also far less irritating, because they clearly have issues and it helped sympathize with them and ease into the whodunnit aspect more. The acting wasn't too over the top either, and the way hillbillies were portrayed fitted the narrative. The ending, which I found frustrating when I was seventeen, is in fact very satisfying in a creepy and ironic way. She really got them good... The soundtrack compilation is better than the first movie's as well. It has decent tracks but is missing other bests like « disposable teens », « dirge », « I'm your doggy » and « haunted ». Also, how old are they supposed to be? I always wondered... It's a decent flick, a product of its time but also original enough to be enjoyed years later, without making you cringe like the original and reboot does.
Lost (2004)
The show that redefined « must-see-TV »?
It's my first time watching the whole series, and it took me a month to do so. Back when it was airing on TV, my heart wasn't completely in it, I thought it was boring and I had other things to do, and more pressing shows to watch anyway. So I caught a couple of episodes here and there, and watched most of season 1, 2A and 3 on borrowed DVDS. I won't lie, it's more of a sophisticated nighttime soap than the thought provoking show about the mysteries of life (and death) it wants to be. And I struggled through most of season 4, which is probably my least favorite, and was often bored during the flashbacks in those early seasons episodes. But I stuck around, and I'm glad I did because it isn't as obscure as some (whom I suspect half of them to be Kate & Sawyer shippers, who probably had a stroke watching the series finale) made it out to be... The island is clearly an in-between world LOST in time and space, where the living and the dead can interact, I get that. But I still wished the series showed glimpses of the survivors lives, after they left the island for good... That being said, like most fans apparently, I enjoyed season 5 the most and the fact that the leads became some kind of fallen angels, having unfinished business on « earth » in season 6, before going to the other side, the moment the true hero of the story, Jack, was finally ready to move on (now I understand the striking resemblance between him and his « son »), led to a satisfying conclusion. The series has a very beautiful and logical ending (though a little too similar to the « Sixth Sense » twist?), but I can't say I liked all of it characters either, and was surprised some of them even got to Heaven at the end. But I guess they had their own fan base too... Also, how come everyone could see Jacob at one point, if they weren't dead yet? Maybe they had an explanation for that too, but it probably got lost somewhere when I was trying to follow some of those tedious episodes, that are unfortunately the most off putting trait of the Lost series. All in all it's a decent show, only one that must be watched continuously (and with an open mind) to be enjoyed and understood. Good binge watching everyone.
How to Get Away with Murder: Stay (2020)
Who falls for that third rate sentimentalism?
Oh yeah, Americans do apparently... Where do I start? They've already lost me after the whole incest nonsense, which proved to be pointless in this episode in particular, because Frank could've killed the governor for simply giving the order to murder his estranged mother. Why all the schlock, to have us pity Sam? Even that was for nothing, because he can't be forgiven for things his own wife did... And as far as Annalise winning her trial with that piss poor closing argument, I think writers were simply too busy playing the victim card on her to acknowledge that she was indeed guilty of all charges. On different degrees of course, because it's her little lap dogs who's done the deeds each time. But she was the one who gave the orders, so she alongside the students, should've gone to jail. Or have spent the rest of her life being charged in court. I know she probably wouldn't be the heroine of a show called « How to Get Away with Murder » otherwise, but what does being all those things, have to do with her being an accessory to murder(s)? And why did everyone got on Gabriel's case at one point this season? Each time it gave me an impression of pots calling the kettle black, especially when Olivier accused him of lying and creating drama. Oliver is the most annoying HTGAWM character, and he as well should've been prosecuted for all the things the FBI agent had against him, so him accusing Gabriel of things he does himself on a regular basis, made me despise that little whiny wimp even more. The only sense of justice we'd get out of this final, is seeing some of these awful characters getting shot to death (Frank especially, what a waste of space that guy is...). And others being sent to prison for snitching on each other. But even that wasn't satisfying enough, because it was done in an emotionally manipulative way. And that the overall course of the trial, leading to that particular part of the story, shed a light on the amateurism of all parties involved. To be perfectly honest, I hated the closing scene. The way current shows use last minute flash forwards to end their final episodes with now, is lazy. « Six Feet Under » did it first, and back then it made sense because of its premise, and overall atmosphere. In shows like HTGAWM it simply tells the audience creators were stuck and couldn't find a creative way to please everyone at the same time. But is it really the best way to go, in one in which bad writing made us hate all the characters?
Series ranking: 1, 2, 3, skip the rest, you'll thank me later.
Rachel Getting Married (2008)
The kind of movie that gives me hysterical laughter.
I regret ever liking this movie (youthful mistake I guess...). As far as indie movie goes, it's good. But if you hate indie movies, stay away from this. Bad reviews here are right, it's too self-indulgent and boring, with characters you honestly don't feel sympathy for. Everything in this movie is a joke to me now, the shaky cam, the bad singing and dancing, the outpouring of pathos, the weird facial expressions and overreacted dramatic scenes (the part where Kym's mother punched her always made me laugh, but the one at the hair salon is now my favorite unintentionally funny moment). The wedding in itself, was an ode to globalization of bad taste, which made me hate every second of it. The dishwasher loading contest was also a very weird, random and cringeworthy moment, that was trying to toy with our emotions and failed at it. Frankly, the whole movie did. The only time I got into a « tissue moment » was the part where Rachel was helping Kym dress up. It was sweet, but even that was done in a pretentious way. Watch at your own risk.
How to Get Away with Murder: Do You Think I'm a Bad Man? (2019)
This show really isn't good at all...
Scripted or not, these stories and cases are unbelievable. I promised myself never to watch this infuriatingly stupid show again, but I still needed to know how it ends, before Netflix took it down. And I know, it's a show called « how to get away with murder », but it's always the same party that's winning. I can't honestly recall an episode where those awful human beings payed for their crimes. Case in point in this episode, Tegan abuses her power to free a bunch of illegals, and a thief's wife gets rewarded helping him escape a crime scene. The latter was clearly another example of cop bashing on TV, but in reality, what does that say about our society? Are we so disconnected these days we are expected to feel sympathy for low lives criminals? I know Americans put one in the WH a year later, but still... You did « what was needed to survive », you say? How about work several lousy jobs, like most people do to make ends meet, instead of stealing the fruits of their labor, with your loser husband? And what kind of a judge leaves an accused unpunished after she threatened a lawyer in court? Lol.... These shows really are written by snowflakes, for snowflakes... This amount of hypocrisy sickens me. I hope Connor dies (but I know he won't), he's useless and his husband is such a weenie... Asher too, what kind of man says things like « man's » something anyway?? I'm going to beat a pillow with a poker now...
Grey's Anatomy: Crash Into Me: Part 1 (2007)
It's episodes like these that make me like season 4 less.
It was all fine, until the ambulance crash actually. From this moment on, the episode was trying to be too spectacular and dramatic, and it just didn't work. None of it did, especially the end scene, where Lexi's patient's carotid artery ruptured, in a very stupid manner. And the part where the paramedic happened to be cut in half (and was still alive), and his girlfriend happened to work in the hospital, and the tearful goodbye that ensued (it was pushing it, because we barely know anything about them). When everyone pretended they would act professionally around the other paramedic with a Svastika tattooed on his stomach, yet kept whining about it and looked disgusted throughout, like they've never had to heal people with questionable morals before. It was also unnecessarily over the top and dragged the story, in both parts of the episode(s)... Hahn don't do it for me anymore either, she just come off as preachy and rude, and I can't wait for her to leave next season honestly. It's a good thing the second part (minus George's outburst to that patient, which would have normally costs him his job) is a little better, but it's clear the show was already unable to distance itself from that first degree, that made it unwatchable overtime. Soundtrack was ok (much better in part. 2), some musical moments like the opening stays with you, while others like the last surgery (where the svastika guy is crashing) barely leaves an impression. I think it's Ava's return (because her arc this season is more interesting) and guest stars like Seth Green and Gale Harold that saved it mostly.
P. S: I can't stand Rose.
Gossip Girl: New York, I Love You XOXO (2012)
OMG, fangirl writing at its cringiest...
I wonder which one of the two GG fan girls wrote the script (and had a tantrum for this episode to include baby « Chair » somewhere). Shortest season or not, everything collapses around the Thanksgiving episode, but this series finale is so lazy it's like a school kid botching one's homework. Bart was once again taken out of the equation (which always makes me wonder why he returned in the first place...) and the whole first half of the episode was about Chuck and Blair fleeing the scene of the crime, only to come back and be picked up by the police. Because they couldn't resist getting married first... I known it helped not incriminating each other, but married or not, are we really led to believe the cops would have let them go with incriminating proofs? It's obvious they had nothing on them, so this shotgun wedding was a ridiculous fan service moment. And what is the deal with Lily? After all the lies and deceit, she still went back to her former husband (Serena's father)? I guess Rufus is with Lisa Loeb now, and Georgina with Jack. But honestly, none of the endgames during the pre-closing scene, sounded genuine. I sort of like the idea of Dan and Serena marrying each other, but even that felt too easy and rushed in some way. As for Dan being Gossip Girl, they should've left more room for interpretations, because the more they were trying to rationalize it, the less it made sense... Honestly the only thing I liked about that episode (and most of season 6), were those callbacks to older seasons and episodes. Not that awkward flashback, where the actors looked ridiculous pretending to be fifteen, but all the cameos from everyone involved in the series these past six years. Especially that little meta bit with Rachel Bilson (auditioning for the movie adaptation of « Inside ») and gossip girl's voiceover actress herself, Kristen Bell. Hats off to her for making the part as important as the rest, by the way. Then again, Nate is just there, and I had absolutely no interest in anything he did or didn't do there either. I'm glad Sage was tossed somewhere never to be seen again, the last time we saw him, running for mayor of New York apparently? (Lol, yeah right...) But I wished he would've ended up with one of those returning cast members. The introduction of the new « lonely boy » can only suggest that history will repeat itself, but who wants to see that anyway? And as both shows are somewhat tonally similar, featuring « You've Got the Love » during the last minutes, was another cool nod to SATC.
Series ranking: 1, 2, 4, toss up between 3 and 5, and 6.
Gossip Girl: Where the Vile Things Are (2012)
Getting a free pass for being the last and shortest season.
Season 6 isn't so bad after all, in fact it is better than I remembered. The only thing that really plummets it, is Bart Bass becoming the big great villain of the show. It's decisions like these that takes away the emotional impact of classics like 2x13: « O Brother, Where Bart Thou? ». Not that his death was particularly sad, but the way it translated through the leads was, and to me personally, it remains one of the best episodes of the whole series. After dealing with Ben and his insufferable daughter, writers clearly decided to get the story (and characters) moving forwards, in « Where the Vile Things Are ». Lily and Rufus are at each other's throats, using Ivy as their buffer, only she herself has an hidden agenda of her own. And this is where writers went too far as well. As manipulative as she was, Ivy never backstabbed anyone in a gratuitous manner. So turning her into a ruthless social climber, when her feelings for CeCe were genuine (she even confessed not being Charlie to her, before her passing), was a new way to create another cartoon villain character out of nowhere, this season. The life lesson given to Blair, was what I liked the most about that episode. This part (and the feud at the auction), after a feeling of having to endure her « petty mean girl » shenanigans to the dregs, made this episode one of my favorite of season 6. Dropping Blair's minions and bringing back Nelly Yuki, was also a good idea. Blair's new clothing line, inspired by her Constance uniform (!?) not so much. Eleanor must really love her daughter to allow that, especially since Serena rocked that style already last season in 5x15... Rekindling Serena and Dan's romance made sense as well because, as their « salvation » came from a place where both screwed up royally, it helped redeem both characters. So why don't I feel the same about Chuck and Blair? Simply because they think the only thing standing in the way of their love, is not having achieved their goals yet... Once again, Nate is there to play referee, and even if it happens episodes ago, I was shocked to see Sage's father give her the go to date such a « boy of easy virtue »... Matt Camden really came a long way, hasn't he?... No Georgina this time, but too much of a good thing is never a good thing. And since when Vanessa became Dan's worst nightmare?... This line always feels so weird to me. It's obviously a flawed season, but so far I'm enjoying it more than previously.
Gossip Girl: The Return of the Ring (2012)
Just as uneventful as season 3 finale...
But Serena going back to her old ways, makes it far more entertaining. Season 5 was putting everyone's eggs in one basket. The back and forth between Ivy and Lola, Blair's love square, the mysterious Diana Payne, and introduction of « The Spectator » leading to the quest of unmasking gossip girl (which past episodes made it more obvious is Dan, due to her voiceovers strangely sounding more and more like him talking) as well as the feeling of an overcharged script, makes it rewatch-ability level suffer. Killing off CeCe seems to be its most cohesive part, because it led to the big changes that were teased since last season. And a whole lot of enjoyable family drama, for once. But it is where all the improvement stops. In « The Return of the Ring » Bart (who had faked his own death...) claims his empire (including Lily) back, only why couldn't Jack be Chuck's biological father, and Diana a decoy mother, to protect Elisabeth's secret? They had the perfect opportunity to sort out all this mess, and they simply created more complications, bringing Bart back on a whim. Creating new drama between Blair and Serena was also proof of writers taking the « the more things change, the more they stay the same » quote to the letter. Granted it made for a good callback to past events of season one, only it still felt as if the show was back to square one, after giving us one of its busiest season. Even though I still believe she's secretly in love with Serena, and find it frustrating writers never addressed that, Georgina's return (after her failed attempt at impersonating gossip girl) always makes any GG episode worth watching more, in my book. Seeing Lily tearing up those divorce papers, was the part I hated the most I think, because it also shows her character is back to being incapable of owning up to her mistakes. Chuck rejecting Blair for the 100th time though, is so repetitive it's becoming comical. How they were reunited at the very end of the episode, in spite of all the awful things he told her in that roof, makes it even funnier. Are we actually supposed to root for such a destructive relationship? Any relationship in that snake pit, for that matter? Lucky those who managed to escape. And now Serena is one of them, for the time being at least. See how I still have nothing to say about Nate? Yeah, me too...
The Great Gatsby (2013)
Anyone over twenty, will hate this movie...
As someone who was a teenager when Moulin Rouge was released, I still have a vivid image of what a festival of sounds and colors it was at the theater. I remember its lyricism, humor and violence. The Great Gatsby is just trying to recapture those feelings and failing at it miserably, leaving us unamused and unimpressed. The tone is so naive, it felt like a Disney movie, with actors acting and talking like cartoon characters. The flashy aesthetic is also that of an animated film, like Moulin Rouge was, but in Moulin Rouge's case, it was still fresh and revolutionary back in 2001. And done better with special effects looked great onscreen. Twelve years later, it just all feels rehashed, and impossible to get behind the overdone eccentric soundtrack and rough editing Luhrmann is too known for. Not even the beautiful storybook ending could salvage this big hit and miss. Skip it.
Veronica Mars (2014)
The movie I never thought I needed.
I remember loving it the first time I saw it, and in a way, I still do. True there are things I don't like about the ending, but it's still a great way to pull you back into the world of Neptune's mysteries. All movie long you get that nostalgia factor, that can be so exhilarating when it is done properly. The movie feels like a long episode of the Veronica Mars TV series, an introduction to it (to viewers who never saw any episodes) and a Hollywood production all at once. The main investigation still gets you, like some of it did in the TV series, and the returning cast members, cameos and such, are mostly everything a long time VM fan would want to see in the « big screen ». The only complaint I have, is the fact that Leighton Meester couldn't reprise her role (or how Duncan was not even mentioned once). This movie definitely redeems everything that was so wrong about season 3, by filling in the blanks left at the end of it, and more importantly making the characters sympathetic again and giving them a real reason to get back on the horse (the corrupt cop thing, was a tad redundant). And the soundtrack is just as good and « modern » as you'd expect, all the while staying true to the spirit of the show as well. But like I said, I didn't get behind some of the writing choices near the end (and the whole addiction metaphor...). Looking back though, it clearly meant creators planned another comeback series soon. But maybe they shouldn't have pushed their luck...
Gossip Girl: The Wrong Goodbye (2011)
Much better than last season.
After a third season that strayed too many times, season 4 was back to the show's roots. The thing I love the most about it, is all the revenge plot involving something (and someone) from Serena's past, during her stay in boarding school. It was a big part of the original premise for the show, and I thought it was a great callback. How it all went out perfectly, with the storyline ending in a very satisfying and redeeming way to those involved, was exactly like I had hoped. Even the whole « crazy » Charlie plot wasn't too bad (and to those who remember the short lived series « The Mountain » it worked as a mini reunion between two former co-stars of the show, Penn Badgley and Kaylee Defer. Whose characters happened to date each other there as well), and I liked the Thorpe's family drama, and Louis coming back to give him and Blair another chance. Even though the last one is a little far fetched and too heavy on the symbolic (going from Twilight to Beauty & The Beast, regarding Blair and Chuck's love story, was an upgrade somehow...) it found ways to defuse the situation and give the star crossed lovers, time to breathe and maybe reunite later (I'm kidding, I know they will, but I'm still looking forward to those « Dair » moments...). Choosing the high school reunion (and Georgina's next appearance) as the setting to those last minute dramas, was a nice way to wrap it all up as well. Season 4 has all the attributes of a penultimate season, and its finale would've been perfect as such. Of course, season finale means cliffhanger ending. First, Charlie was hired to pass as Lily's daughter (why? I guess we'll know next season), and a pregnancy test reads « positive » in the trash can (whose was it? Stay turned for more on that as well). We also witnessed Vanessa's ultimate departure during those closing scenes (she's decided to move to Barcelona, and good for her, because it was painful to see writers destroying her character like that) and Eric going away to college (or the Hamptons under false identity, maybe?...). So far, this is my third favorite season after one and two, and if it wasn't for the heavy handed soap (and assassination of character) it would've probably ranked higher. Good soundtrack all over too, more in line with my own musical tastes.
Gossip Girl: Gaslit (2010)
Such a disappointing episode...
I suspect writers created all this inextricable situation, to leave a door open for those three actresses departures. But at the same time, when I see how everything was handled in the previous episodes, I just think they ran out of ideas, and want to create drama for the sake of drama now. As much as I enjoy season 4 more (especially those first episodes) it still has that old habit of introducing new interesting plots, and changing gears every two episodes. Even the college experience was put aside to go back to more extravagant stories, where everyone gets betrayed and seeks revenge on each other. Take a number I say, because the next in line is Blair (who just needs to get a life) who wants retribution for what Juliette did to Serena, with the help of Dan (how more opportunistic can you get?). The only problem is, Juliette is far more likable than those two snobs (Serena is the queen of vain, since her trip to Paris. And every episodes so far, made me want to see Blair get punched in the teeth) and the show needs to go back to more thoughtful writing, that would redeem the lead characters, if they want to keep viewers who feel the same way I do, interested in their lives again.