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The Linguini Incident (1991)
How does this movie have a rating this high?
I thought I had seen bad movies with bad scripts and bad screenplay and bad directing and bad music before but I didn't realize that this movie is near the top of the worst I've ever seen.
It's a comedy/crime movie that completely fails at comedy and crime because it is fantastically stupid with actors who have zero charisma and is chock full of nonsensical scenes and interludes that have zero relevance to the supposed plot. It appears to have been written while filming with literally everyone in the cast offering ad libs that were eagerly accepted by the 'director' and resulted in a complete catastrophe. It was so awful and painful to watch that I put the DVD on the slowest fast forward speed so I can watch it twice as fast and still hear the dialogue.
The scene near the end with Cecil and Dante on stage where Dante, in an attempt to stall the audience waiting on a Houdini stunt by a waitress named Lucy, dances maniacally and sings in a bizarre falsetto until he just stops.
I find it impossible to believe that anyone who has watched this genuinely believes it's a good movie. Of course when it was released in 1991 the usual suspects among the critics praised it, in part, for its "avant-garde surrealism". In other words, just like most of "modern art" it is complete trash. I had the misfortune of seeing the director's cut, at least for free, that was released in May, 2024 - if that was supposed to be superior then I shudder to think what the original was like.
But hey, don't listen to me, see for yourself but be sure, PLEASE, to get this for free like I did from my local library on DVD.
There Is a Monster (2024)
Horrific all right - horrifically incompetent doctors!
As other reviewers have mentioned, the movie sucked. Less than halfway through this movie I correctly guessed the main character had a medical problem causing his hallucinations though I guessed it was either a brain tumor or strokes, both of which can cause that as well as his other symptoms. I will say I thought the lead actor did a good job at making me feel for him.
What was absolutely unbelievable was the fact that not one but TWO doctors (the second a shrink as well as an M. D.) never once referred him for an MRI and a full neurological assessment and did nothing that a real doctor would do when faced with this list of complaints:
Severe headaches
Slowness and slurring of speech
Vivid hallucinations during the night AND day
Numbness in his extremities including his right hand
Tripping
This was a complete cheat by the director and writer Mike Taylor - he HAD to make doctors act completely opposite of real life or else they would have found out he had Lou Gehrig's disease which is Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as motor neuron disease (MND) and the movie would have ended with the diagnosis. And the movie ending was so obnoxious - they jump to '8 months later' and you see him all screwed up in a reclining medical chair at home, being waited on by his ex-wife. Slow fade to black and only in the credits do they say what he was suffering from.
I knew it was low budget when there was little or no music and scene after scene of some idiot in Spandex hiding behind trees and walls playing the 'monster'. I was going to bail on it but I wanted confirmation that this indeed was not a horror movie but a disguised medical drama. They should have written a disclaimer for the end credits stating that if your doctor ever treats you the way those doctors treated the protagonist you should run from them and get a second opinion.
Terrible waste of my time.
Juleblod (2017)
Absolutely atrocious attempt
Exceptionally un-horrific 'horror' movie.
Plot - Some lunatic with an ax dresses up as Santa Claus and kills people on a very long list he has (found in a victim's mouth) on Christmas Eve but supposedly only if they are evil. 5 or 6 years prior to the main action he was shot multiple times, was captured and somehow survived, only to break out on Christmas Eve. Will he kill again?
Yes. In essentially the same way - with the ax, either the blunt or sharp end over the head or in the guts. Filmed in the dark so it's hard to see a whole lot. Plus it's at night.
End - after wading through more bodies, we see the same disturbed ex-cop who'd shot the lunatic previously shoot him again, multiple times, at close range and presumably in the head (again). Naturally the lunatic later gets up, standing in the middle of the street with his beloved ax, and the movie ends.
Ho Ho Ho! What originality! Essentially we've got Jason or Michael Myers, just in a Santa costume. No explanation given as to how he derived the list of those supposedly evil, no explanation of why he killed innocents that got in his way, no explanation of why someone who had killed over 120 people before he was caught was not put to death or at least locked up in a Supermax prison, no explanation of how unbelievably dumb the people were in this movie. It is hard to stay awake during the interminable scenes of people walking in dimly lit rooms and hallways, looking this way and that, only to finally end up on the ax end again.
You've seen it all before except far better. Don't waste an hour and a half of your time like I did.
Superstore (2015)
Made it half-way through Season 2 and then WHAM!
We liked the show even it it was a bit preachy and obvious, not Dumb and Dumber level of comedy but still funny - until we saw the show on voting when it was made plainly obvious the writers hated people who aren't on the left. WHY do they do this??? I waited until the end of the episode to confirm that they were not also skewering the left and that was it - we're not watching any more. Oh, and Trump was mentioned in an off-hand way so we knew it was filmed during his campaign, or close enough. I came to IMDB today and say we're not alone in thinking this show is slanted. Too bad, so sad, the writers just couldn't leave well enough alone.
Do you want non-political comedy? Try a Canadian series called "Corner Gas".
Les Gouttes de Dieu (2023)
Extraordinarily entertaining, intelligent and gripping storytelling!!!
Just a masterpiece in how to tell you a story that you cannot let go off once you've seen the first 2 (of 8) episodes. I marveled at how this got made because of all the trash and unoriginality that spews from the bowels of the once great Hollywood in these days of churning out any and all kinds of content to feed the Streaming Beasts.
I think this is the second authentic '10 star' rating I've ever given on this site. Be patient when watching because you need to sink down into their world, their pacing, in order to let the story flow over you. Lol - sounds like I'm some kind of poet but I'm not. This is a very adult series and it has a lot of surprises waiting for you. I will give zero spoilers and DO NOT READ any reviews with spoilers or it'll ruin the series for you.
I cannot highly recommend this enough. Also, it doesn't matter whether you like, dislike or couldn't care less about wine - it's about the people, what motivates them. Their relationships and especially the competition itself. And OMG, the authentic locations and their beauty! And the soundtrack keeps you engaged at every turn. And the characters - wow!
DON'T MISS THIS ONE!
Dying to Sleep (2023)
This movie is way overrated
This movie moves slowly, so slowly that you find yourself fighting to maintain interest and keep from sleeping yourself. I was willing to give it a chance because Eric Roberts was supposedly the star but he has only 2 cameos without real substance.
Look, I'll get straight to the point - this was an LGBTQ movie in which the mother of the female protagonist comes to terms with her daughter Mary being a dyke (the daughter's words, not mine), Mary is seeing and communicating with dead people as in "The Sixth Sense" and is having trouble sleeping, and she leads the dead spirit of the religious holistic doctor (who you think is alive) into forgiving himself for initially rejected his son when he came out of the closet as gay and then killed himself by running into the street a year ago whereupon Mary runs into him driving home from her birthday party. His ghost constantly is running around in the movie saying cryptic stuff to her. The same night his son died this doctor killed himself by cutting his own throat, unable to bear the guilt of rejecting his son for not being straight.
But it's all just fine in the end, you see, because Mary convinces the father's ghost to forgive himself and at the end at her next birthday party sees their ghosts in the garden sitting on a bench and smiling and laughing. BTW, the 'big reveal' in the movie is that the holistic doctor was dead all along when Mary was seeing him for help, once Eric Robert's drug-prescribing doctor couldn't help her.
This movie is not a thriller, it's an LGBTQ vehicle which is fine if that's what you wanted to watch but it's totally not fine to not be honest on the description on the DVD cover nor in the IMDB write-up.
I'm giving it a '2' because it dragged, it was full of soap opera standard fare and it was derivative of far better movies AND it was NOT a thriller. Plus Eric Roberts was used as a lure to get you to watch it when he was really not that important to the movie.
Conned (2023)
The Internet is not your friend
Just finished this today. Excellent. There are 4 peoples' stories presented here by the real people, not actors, 3 of them got caught to one extent or another in a book-to-movie scam while the other had her life savings taken by a 'friend' she trusted (no relation to the other scam). The 5th person in the movie was unknowingly involved in the book-to-movie scam and she actually wrote and helped produce the movie. If you think you can't be scammed, well, an MIT graduate was - it isn't about intelligence, it's about being manipulated little by little until you've taken the bait. It's a great warning to all of us out there to, as Fox Muldaur's de fact motto says, 'trust no one'. You have to be aware that anyone can get conned if they are not aware of how it can be done. And yes, it CAN happen to YOU. These people made the movie to warn all of us what happened to them and what can happen, and I applaud them as not many people would want to go public with this. To them I say THANK YOU.
The Merciful (2022)
Finally, a low budget movie does it right!
My history of reviews here at IMDB are probably 80% negative so it's a very welcome relief to finally give praise to a movie that is well deserved.
I am not going to give any spoilers. However, you have to be willing to let the story unfold at its own pace as the dialogue and interaction between the main characters fleshes out they as people and not caricatures. The key to any memorable movie is the characterizations - it wasn't CGI that made Star Wars so long-lived as a franchise - and that's what this movie gets right. But you do have to be willing to spend the time to get to the point where you care and I am glad I did.
Be sure to watch the end credits too. I am really wanting to give more info here but I have found that knowing too much about a movie takes away from your surprise and/or anticipation of what might happen which is why I will not watch trailers. I came in expecting a completely different movie and I am reallu happy I was wrong.
The Victim (1972)
Probably a 2 star but trying to counter the 10s
With apologies, I have no idea what other reviewers highly rating this movie saw - perhaps a different movie? Much more likely they saw it when they were young and impressionable, it scared them, and they now recall it fondly. I'm a big fan of this genre and time period but this was an agonizingly slow, boring and dumb movie with an abrupt and disappointing ending.
I think Montgomery did some excellent acting in other movies of the time but she was given very little to work with here, other than wandering about a house calling 'Susan? Where are you?' umpteen times, while her sister Susan is already dead in the basement. There's a raging storm, it's dark, the power goes out briefly and the phone line has been cut - whatever will she do?
If your idea of a fast-paced, fun watch is an episode of "Murder, She Wrote" then you might actually enjoy this made-for-TV movie, seriously. It is mercifully short at 1 hour 13 minutes since they had to pack in over 45 minutes of commercials during the initial airing.
I grew so bored with her poking around that I turned the subtitles on and fast-forwarded the movie until some event happened. There is one unintentionally funny gaffe - near the end of the movie as she is heading up the stairs making a lot of noise she stops and the noise continues for almost 2 seconds - apparently made by the film crew. At least fast-forward to that scene!
Ugetsu monogatari (1953)
I just guess I find old Japanese movies dull
I officially quit! I am 66 years old and I cannot recall the last old Japanese movie I liked other than Rashomon. Whether they are overacting or not it simply appears to me that the acting is way over the top, the physical movements exaggerated like Jerry Lewis and so I simply cannot take these movies seriously.
"Ugetsu" is billed as some sort of great ghost story - that's an absolute joke. Perhaps in their culture this movie would be perceived that way but I just can't fathom why. Just boring.
I now understand that the incredible ratings this movie got is not restricted to Japanese movies - almost ANY non-American movie that is boring will become acclaimed because of all the posers out there who think because something is loved by the America-hating critics that it must be good, so they eagerly rate it highly even if it bored them or escaped their understanding as they wish to be part of the 'in' crowd. See the recent "Mother" as an example of gutter trash posing as 'art'.
Like modern art, which for the most part is absolute garbage - Banksy the artist is brilliant at pointing this out in his parodies. Fellini leaps to mind as another 'director' sure to bore an audience to sleep.
I go so bored I fast-forwarded to the laughable end of this snooze-fest and discovered the 'payoff' was as expected - bereft of surprise and expected. The End.
Oh, I forgot the original "Godzilla" which I did enjoy but even those movies quickly degenerated into scenes of incredibly annoying children screaming for the monsters to survive. Acting is a non-existent qualification for most Japanese movies so you can have them.
MK Ultra (2022)
I stopped watching after 20 minutes or so
By the time I stopped watching my brother had already fallen asleep.
This movie was slow with a weird music soundtrack that particularly aggravated me. Every male had thick 1960s glasses like Woody Allen (Anson Mount's were different) and everyone was smoking - that was the most entertaining aspect of the whatever this film was. Since I knew this was only based on true events I knew some aspects and characters would be fictional but after seeing (1) a CIA agent having sex with an apparent prostitute in a bathroom while almost fully dressed, (2) Anson tied up and gagged on his own bed while his wife was giving him oral sex (unsuccessfully) and then (3) the same CIA agent beating a nude man hanging from something in some perverted sado-masochistic act I bailed on the movie. What in the devil does graphic depictions of sexual acts have to do with what we all expected to see, a depiction of what the U. S. government did (and surely still does) to unsuspecting innocent citizens???
After 10 minutes I KNEW the rating over 6 at IMDB was a lie but after seeing all of this within the first 20 minutes or so I knew I had to rate it a 1 star. It is a tribute to how bad this movie was that I could not even finish it which I often will if the movie is cheesy bad in a good way. This was awful and everyone in it looked like they had awakened with a hangover and had been constipated for 4 days.
My advice - this movie was a bad trip, avoid it!
A Fire in the Cold Season (2019)
It had good scenery, that's it
Nice scenery in Canada thought I was wondering why the trapper never bothered to fish in that trout river - lol.
As someone else mentioned, this is slow. At first it works as you get to follow the trapper on his rounds and it was a nice touch that they used actual dead animals, I suppose from an actual trapper.
But the pace never changes, very few words are spoken by anyone until about 15 minutes in a frenetic ending and the entire movie felt dragged out to cover the run time. It never was exactly clear to me why the criminals were so inept and why so much violence erupted AFTER the trapper turns the backpack full of drugs he'd found a week or so later where he had discovered the body of Keith. And as far as the reclusive trapper turning into Captain Save-a-Ho that was ridiculous. The lady was pregnant with Keith's child and Keith was a drug dealing criminal - so that's who you're going to fall in love with WITHOUT EVEN KISSING HER or knowing a thing about her???
He deserved to die at the end for her, both idiots, both losers, and she takes off leaving him dying because why not? The movie didn't interfere with me getting stuff done around the house since you didn't miss anything important because there wasn't anything important to miss except the movie, which I highly recommend you avoid like a fresh cow patty - I stepped in it so you don't have to.
All Eyes (2022)
A surprising pleasure of a movie
I've been posting reviews for over 5 and a half years here and most have been written with the purpose to warn people away from bad movies with ballot-box-stuffed ratings or just simply bad, usually with detailed reasons and spoilers.
But this movie is different - take your time with it, it relies on a pretty good plot, good acting for the few main characters and clever writing. One of the characters is a real piece of work and quirky - I loved that actor! The setup is slow but important and gives you time to soak in the background story before the pacing heats up so pay attention to the details in the setup as it pays off later. I just really enjoyed it, only 87 minutes long, and it was good entertainment. I refuse to spoil it by being more specific so I really recommend this.
P.s. When the credits roll it appears the film was a family affair, I counted at least 5 different Greenlees involved with it. They did a great job!
Tethered (2022)
A slow and painful way to waste time
First, let me state that as I am typing this around 3pm CDT on August 30, 2022, there are undeniable signs of vote packing - 14.8% of the total are for a 10 star rating, more than all of the 7, 8 and 9 star combined (13%). This is not possible unless bad actors are inflating the rating as we see often, and STILL the overall rating is 4.5 stars - people like me are down-voting it on purpose to get it closer to the real rating which IMHO should be around 2.
As for the movie, this is one of those that had a decent concept and decent acting but it was way, way too slow. Almost nothing of any note happens until near the end and I had guessed within the first 2 minutes of the movie that the creature lurking near the tree in the background where the blind son (Solomon) was looking is the mother (Nydia), for some reason mutated - this is never made clear but you could tell she 'evolved' because of the clues they put in the movie (a hunter named Hank near the end of the movie finds a journal addressed to the son with the first pages legible but later filled with increasingly unreadable gibberish addressed to the son, and it's in some kind of huge, tree-limb covered nest).
Anyway, Solomon is abandoned by Nydia with no clear explanation given to the kid as to why she left, in a house without utilities close to woods. The reason she split was that she was turning gradually into a creature of some kind (her with some makeup and contact lenses as it turns out) and she's chained up out in the woods. Before she left she taught the boy some rules, never to go out without the rope around his waist attached to the house and to always split the game and fish he caught in two and throw half into the woods. She herself is chained to prevent her from attacking him and I guessed that immediately as well when he found the chain (but then couldn't she have attacked him then???). A plot hole. And of course she's eating whatever he does throw into the woods as we see animal bones in one scene in a pile, otherwise she'd starve.
Anyway, Hank kills a deer and after defending himself against the kid who panics he eventually befriends him, obviously concerned since the kid looks like a hillbilly, is blind, lives on his own and is running out of canned food. Sounds promising, right?
WRONG - we see almost every stinking movement of this kid, so boring and slow as he manages his way to and fro. And the hunter speaks to the kid as if he is a little child. So aggravating. Obviously a very low budget though the camera work was okay.
At the end of the movie Hank, having several times heard this weird screaming, goes out with his rifle to set a bear trap and gets killed by Nydia, and of course the budget doesn't allow for a kill scene to be shown, all we ever see are some fake scratches on his dead face. Apparently Hank gets off a shot and Solomon, hearing it, makes his slow, slow way to investigate, finds the dead hunter, then his mother rushes out to get him but the chain stops her short. So the kid starts humming their favorite song, something she told him always to do when he felt bad, and she recognizes it and starts humming it too. He comes closer with tears in his eyes, close enough for her to rush him and she hugs him, recognizing her son. At this moment Solomon (the kid) naturally takes the opportunity to stab her to death. Sorry, ma! Shortly thereafter his white eyes develop the same eerie, reptile-like retinas his mother had and the movie ends. There was a father involved but he was out of the picture when the movie started and I am only guessing Nydia killed HIM, perhaps in some kind of ritual that these creatures go through. That clue was dropped when the hunter found and read a different journal in the house to Solomon but stopped reading it when he came to a page where Nydia wrote angry words about the husband trying to take Solomon and there's a drawing of the chain she was tethered to.
Never answered: what kind of creatures were they? What was their story? How did the mother get chained in the first place? I have to assume she did it when she was still mostly normal (before she left we hear her cough a few times, I suppose that was signaling the change). What happened to the father? Why didn't the hunter the morning after he left the kid go to his vehicle if he had one (it was never shown) and get the authorities to rescue the kid? Here's something odd - he apparently doesn't possess a cell phone since there was no standard scene of 'I can't get a signal!'. There was no boat shown and there was no lake or river ever shown that he could have used it on, only a rocky and turbulent stream too small to navigate on, so how did he get to the woods??? Before the mother mutated her vision was perfect (and though her eyes are different her vision is still fine) so why did Solomon have completely white eyes that ended up matching hers? What was the point then of him being blind??? And what is the point of mutating and living like an animal chained in the woods? If I knew that was happening to me I'd kill myself but only after taking the kid somewhere to drop him off with someone. But seriously, what was the end game for the creature? I don't get it.
WHY did I watch this movie (for free thank goodness!) without checking out the honest 1 star reviews on IMDB? I almost always do, dang it, but at least I hope you profit from my review and avoid this movie like the plague it is, unless you suffer from insomnia.
Ride (2018)
Garbage for people with short attention spans
Convoluted plot with a migraine-inducing combination of loud music, GoPro camera visuals at high speed, strobing effects and just stuff that makes no sense. The ending is inexplicable and I only wish I hadn't wasted my time on this drek. Laughable that there are 10 point ratings on this - they are lying.
The Shop at Sly Corner (1946)
I really enjoyed this old-style mystery
The characters carried this off - the shop proprietor and the sleazy shop assistant/ I won't give this away but I really did enjoy it especially considering how old this movie is (1947). Conventional and stagey but still a good story told well.
Expresso Bongo (1959)
Someone has to say that the Emperor Has No Clothes
Fine. A 'time capsule' some reviewers say. I say you should rebury this as it has not aged at all and is way, way over the top and a complete joke.
If you think bongos are cool then this is your movie. Overacting hipsters? Check. Outdated music and lyrics? Check. Irony to the nth degree? CHECK CHECK CHECK.
You have to be in your mid-seventies at least to think this is watchable and actually enjoyable. For me, at age 65, it was like fingernails down a chalkboard.
Vacancy (2007)
Some spoilers other reviewers haven't mentioned
If you haven't already please read some of the 1 star reviews with spoilers - they do a great job of telling you why you shouldn't be watching this drek. I hope to give you a more complete summary of why this is a very bad 'horror' movie.
1 - (already mentioned) - How did that shady mechanic disable the couple's car when the husband David was standing next to him while he 'fixed' it? Also, why show David later bashing his wrapped hand into the mirror to fashion a crude mirror knife when he never uses it later? And yes, as others mentioned, later David is stabbed and supposedly lasts for hours unconscious and doesn't bleed out - that is total BS. However, if you follow this #1 Rule of Horror Movies you will almost never be surprised - "They are never dead UNTIL they are dead!".
2 - Let's for a moment accept that some run-down, flea-bitten motel is kept open as a trap to spring on lost couples who ventured off the interstate and make snuff films. Based on the number of snuff films we see one would think these bad guys would have it down to a science, both in terrorizing the victims and in preventing them from fighting back. Part of that science would be the following:
a. Don't leave snuff tape VHS tapes in the honeymoon suite for the couple to see and alert them that the room they're in was used to make them.
B. Don't make a few childish hang-up calls to the room phone - that's annoying, not scary.
C. Don't bang on the doors and run away, you're just putting them into a defensive posture.
D. Once they're inside, completely lock down the room so that only the bad guys can get in. All the snuff films take place inside the room with cameras strategically located, they don't include the victims running around outside and you chasing them.
E. Disable ALL telephone connections (turns out the cell phones don't get reception out there of course anyway!). (This would have prevented the wife Amy from calling 911 later).
F. Don't leave guns that are loaded in the open where anyone can get to them in the motel office. (This would have prevented Amy from killing the motel manager).
3 - By examining the snuff films David is able to figure out that a figure usually appears from the direction of the bathroom and uncovers a trap door under the bath mat that leads down into a WWII prisoner camp-style warren of tunnels lit by incandescent light bulbs strung along the tunnels that lead all over, including into the motel office and under the other rooms' bathrooms.
A. If you're going to all that trouble to dig all those tunnels why wouldn't you as the bad guys install locks on the INSIDE of each trap door to prevent the victims from opening it from the OUTSIDE and escaping down into the tunnels???
B. The motel was located in a desert area and yet we see a pack of racks milling around in one area - why? What were they eating to be down there? And if they were eating previous victims WHY didn't the filmmakers show that for the shock effect??? Btw, wild rats don't mill around you, they RUN unless they are starving and these rats weren't.
4. The worst of course was already mentioned - the original lone cop that showed up to a situation that obviously called for multiple cars gets killed early in the morning and it's not until daylight that Amy gets a 911 call off - what were those goobers back at the station thinking when the cop never called back in to check in for hours??? That was an insanely stupid plot point. But they could have accounted for it by making everyone at the police station EXCEPT that cop part of the snuff film operation which would then explain how they got away with killing so many people and getting rid of their cars, bodies and evidence! And the ending would have been great where they show up, load Amy and David in the police car and then drive off with a knowing look in the rear view mirror at Amy cradling David en route to some desert dump site.
I literally could have written a really good script for this, at least 'what not to do'!
Urban Horror Series (2021)
Shocking all right - shockingly bad!
A series of short films by incompetent directors with forgettable actors and actresses in completely un-scary segments with mind-numbingly stupid endings. This is what people self-finance when they cannot get others to fund them.
This is not REMOTELY in the horror genre. I don't actually know what genre this is.
The first segment, though, you HAVE to see to understand just how awful this 'series' is - you would think they would put their best foot forward to hook you but it is shockingly bad, makes no sense and hasn't the slightest whiff of horror about it - I just laughed at it.
You've been warned - I watched it because no one else had reviewed it and I wanted to be the first, I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised and post a decent review for some unknowns. I'm sorry to say that I can't.
P.s. It looks like it was filmed in and about Los Angeles - shocking, right?
Little Joe (2019)
Forget Body Snatchers, this is old Star Trek episode
"This Side of Paradise" - they ripped this episode off, they didn't even need to rip off "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" as this episode had the plants spewing pollen just as the plants in this movie do.
This should have been a 45 minute episode of some sci-fi series, not 1 hours and 45 minutes. The soundtrack as mentioned elsewhere is laughably out of place and horrible to the ear drums and the plot moves at a snail's pace when it moves at all.
DON'T WATCH THIS.
Instead, watch the old Star Trek episode that is so much better:
"The Enterprise is ordered to clean up the aftermath of a doomed colony on Omicron Ceti III, a planet under constant irradiation from deadly Berthold Rays. Upon arrival, however, the colonists aren't only alive but in perfect health, with no desire to leave their new world. They are in fact under the influence of plant spores which not only keep them in good and improved health but simultaneously keep them in a placid state of happiness and contentment. Mr Spock reacquaints with Leila Kalomi, an old friend who had been (and still is) in love with him. She leads Spock into being affected by the spores, and he is thereafter, for the first time, able to express love for her in return. Eventually the entire ship's crew is affected, leaving Kirk alone to wonder how he can possibly rescue them from perpetual bliss. -Clive Wilson"
Land (2021)
I loved it and I almost never love any movies any more
And for a change I am not posting a single spoiler. Check out my other reviews to also verify how few I really thought well of.
What cinematography (filmed in Alberta, Canada, not in Wyoming)!
And the acting was top-notch, the plot minimalist but to me perfect and everything just came together in a way that deeply affected me. Very little dialogue in some stretches but it works.
For her first try at directing a movie she hit it out of the park. IMHO this should have been nominated for Oscars but on the other hand since they are so woke now who cares??? Just a very moving movie - well done, Robin!
Hellblazers (2022)
As usual, the overall rating has been manipulated
Note - this movie was a Tubi production.
I'm a huge horror fan and enjoyed seeing Dern, Zane, Barbeau, Foster and Todd in the movie but only the first three had any real roles (which were too small) which was a real waste. I thought the other actors and actresses were okay and I really liked the small town setting. I also liked the cinematography.
But what the movie failed to do was what a movie like "Lake Placid" did - deliver a well-crafted script with funny moments (they tried but there wasn't enough 'hits') and a real punch in the death scenes. Except for a few brief moments with the monster, the special effects were so lacking that almost all of the death scenes were implied and the killing blows took place off camera. And note to the writers of this - Claymore mines don't simply explode in a big plume of dark smoke. The action scenes involving guns were a joke. This movie was rated R only due to some scattered obscenities, there was no nudity or gore. Also, the pacing for a good part of the movie was just too slow and some of the scenes were simply not believable - for example, why did Candyman (Tony Todd) simply sacrifice himself when he had no need to nor the motivation to do so?
I actually at first thought that the 5 veteran horror movie actors and actresses had pooled their own money together to produce this movie but after seeing the credits I realized they didn't. Smart move.
Look, if you're bored late at night and you really have nothing better to do then give it a look. Adrienne, you really kept yourself fit. But Meg Foster looks like Darth Vader when they removed his helmet at the end of "The Return of the Jedi" which is a darn shame.
I thought Dern's monologue at the beginning was funny but Tubi, if you're going to make a movie with people of this quality for the love of all that's holy GIVE THEM A SCRIPT!!! Hire some competent writers! And spend some money on special effects! You suck out most of the horror in a horror movie when all the gore is implied because it takes place off screen!
P.s. I am so tired of seeing movies like this initially with high ratings (6.5 stars as of my review) obviously not real. Cast, people who worked on the movie and their friends are obviously skewing these reviews - don't fall for it. Read the most negative reviews first as they have no financial motive to post them, as I don't.
Lady Buds (2021)
Wokeness and Dope
Pretty much spells it out. One of those docs which makes you wonder who the heck is the target audience as the vast majority of people wouldn't watch this for free.
The Blockhouse (1973)
A fine cure for insomnia
I suckered myself into watching this funeral procession because Peter Sellers was in it. Anyone could have played his character, there was nothing in the character that allowed Sellers' acting to shine whatsoever. The premise was interesting but then, unavoidably, it became dark, repressive and unendingly boring because what else could it possibly be? It was based on a true story and the only 2 survivors were found in 1951 by a crew clearing German fortifications and they had survived 4 years in total darkness. Sellers' character killed himself near the movie's end so he didn't make it.
If you are having problems sleeping just fast forward to about the 30 minute mark and you'll soon be in sweet dreamland.
The Convincer (2011)
I loved it
No spoilers for me. Loved the acting, the characters and especially the plot. And no, the ending did not feel rushed at all to me. It's a great movie to just let yourself be entertained by.