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Reviews
Dog Eat Dog (2016)
A fun pulp sketch that hits the spot for something wack
As I laid eyes on this new release and saw Cage and Defoe, I immediately checked out the synopsis; 5 minutes later I was watching it and soon chuckling. The funky characters, trippy edits and that classic lowlife-lane vibe kept me entertained throughout – you know that one of their hits and heists is not gonna go down well, but you wanna see how it pans out for these three strange but dangerous goofs. Cage is Hollywood's biggest laughing stock, but undeservedly so; he does pop in all sorts of mediocre movies, from low- to big budget ones, but he does project a persona and at times cracks out prime performances in great tales: see "Joe" (2013), for example. Defoe has his usual solid charisma, jacked up for a wild "Mad Dog" character. 3rd guy is good too. They're all interesting and funny. This is something Tarantino used to know how to do – or could have done – if he weren't preoccupied in stylistically redundant pantomimes.
Edge of Winter (2016)
Likely textbook story with a very good portrayal
I picked this one to watch because I like a lot of snow and snowbound adventures/misadventures; while not being wildly original and despite that gorgeous Lefevre being shown too little, it does feature Kinnaman's acting chops in quite a genuine portrayal. Having seen him in other stuff here and there, I was impressed. The story could be run on Lifetime's night lineup, but it's not reducible to that – the series of worsening events snowball inexorably without steering too hard toward this or that direction, holding on to a steady thread of realism. It's something to check out for a late chill-out, especially if curious about Kinnaman's role and work.
Under sandet (2015)
Great film – just a great film about life, the cancer of war, and death
My dear friend Ilario, a cultured movie buff, had warmly suggested this film these past days, among the many he mentions and those we get to talk about, and I could perceive that he had figured how this "Land of Mine" would strike many chords with me. And it did; I watched it in original German/Danish with English subs (shaky at times, but OK), and the immersion was immediate from the impactful start. I'm sensitive to war scenarios and characters – especially lesser told ones – as this story tactfully paints a very sad, cruel and almost hopeless reality. The Sergeant is a great figure, the kids are true to life, the skies and beaches cold and lonely too. And full of death. "Under Sandet", instead, is full of cinematographic art.
Before I Wake (2016)
Nice setup but same old tired tricks (watched half only)
It starts off as hundreds of others of the genre do, it has predictable turns and stock screenplay, but Bosworth is pretty to look at and Jane is a honest role-player. If it weren't for the musical 'oohs' and 'aahs' of the soundtrack and the conventionally set atmosphere, the story would have a better grip as the main theme takes shape. But that would be too much to ask for, of course; they have to resort to the usual, trite audio dips and scream scares, flash obvious digital puppetry and so on. I stuck with it for a while to see if it'd shed the banality and become more grotesque, or actually creepy, or even interesting: it didn't, I so stopped halfway.
Ashby (2015)
Standard fare pseudo-clever comedy with a hideous Rourke
I don't know what Rourke did to his f****** face and hands, but he's plainly grotesque now – from a distance and in some scenes, like when he's next to that sweet '67 Cutlass, he could pass for an eccentric older dude who's up for the role, but up close, he looks like a Neanderthal with Botox injections who wears Sapiens Sapiens clothes. It's disturbing and impossible to ignore as he gets his paycheck. Anyway, the kid fills his position as per usual, same for the nerdy chick and the school football team. The only things that piqued my interest were the scene where the girl opens her shirt and the Cutlass, with that straight body and nice paint. Going by the online reviews I'd seen, I was expecting something funny or worthwhile, but nah.
Where to Invade Next (2015)
Moore at it again with a bare boned and eye-opening report for Americans
I'm from Italy and have lived a bit around the world, with the longest stay in the USA for more than 15 years; I'll soon move back to Italy and will miss the States. 'Murrica is great for a lot of things, like its beautiful, vast geography and its large, varied population, but it's not "the greatest country in the history of the Universe forever" as many cretins like to repeat for their political platforms or due to gleeful ignorance – like almost any other nation, it has its ugly truths, deep issues and serious responsibilities, which actually prevent it from being potentially the greatest; it's a work in progress. Moore shows, in a simple point-camera report, that the USA should go back to its founding principles and offer all its people a truly accessible American Dream, rather than wrapping itself in a flag and calcifying around the Almighty Dollar. Better ideas make for a better society, not just better GDP.
Race (2016)
Good recount of History, an Olympic hero and the Human race itself
It's always worth producing and telling stories like these to remind some and educate others about what happened 60, 80 or 100 years ago in our small sliver of human history. It's good to present people with recorded facts, inspiring challenges and obvious injustice – it's how pop culture can make a dent in ignorance and prejudice, if it's well done. The main actor does a good job and the actress who plays Ruth is pretty as hell, while seeing Van Houten as Riefenstahl was a nice surprise. The coach role should have gone to someone else, I think; Sudeikis is a hammy sketch performer from forced and stilted comedy setups, despite his effort. The glide over of the nitty-gritty and the stark realities of racial murders also stands out, but you can't have everything all the time. This is not just about a moment of pride in American history and a man's grace under pressure, but hopefully one more way to reinforce the truth that there's only one race of people: the human kind.
Criminal (2016)
Run-of-the-mill setup but Costner delivers it well
I'm a longtime fan of Costner's and have always enjoyed his works, including "Waterworld" (1995) that everyone shits upon – a flop doesn't mean that the movie didn't have good stuff and vision in it, no matter how campy it might be. His sensibility and gravitas make for interesting characters, like in this crime drama; the story gets right into it as Oldman does what he used to better do in "Léon: The Professional" (1994). Costner visibly jars up his act to embody a careless and violent son of a bitch with no moral restraints, but it gets to be more believable as things develop. And you wind up rooting for him too, since you see him as a redeemable victim of bad circumstances. It's really in Costner's balanced portrayal, since fancy biotech stuff is common movie fare.
The Boy (2016)
In the 'Creepy Doll' category: nothing great, but sufficiently entertaining
Lauren Cohan is a hottie, first of all. She's famous as 'Maggie' in "The Walking Dead" and it's a pleasure to see her in a full feature that doesn't completely suck. As a horror it ain't much, since it's more of the usual, but it does measure its movements to not be as corny as many other genre examples. As a creepy thriller it's not that bad, but it'll just scare impressionable viewers. The way the story turns, in the end, is half predictable and not too lazy, but still nothing original or effectively haunting. For a way better watch, I strongly suggest "The Orphanage" (2007) which is a much better story and has everything this does not.
The Trust (2016)
Not terrible but not satisfying either
Nicolas Cage is both the butt of movie jokes and a respectable multirole meme, since he's played everything from cult films to shitty flicks (including ridiculous evangelist ones). Lately, he's been very good in stuff like "Bad Lieutenant: Port of New Orleans" (2009) and "Joe" (2014) which was a great modern example of cinéma vérité. In this wonky production, his smarmy opportunist character is even likable, but unsuccessfully flanked by Wood's reluctant partner in crime; while the small-time heist scheme is enjoyable, the succession of events turns out as anti-climactic and disappointing, without much fun or any sort of accomplishment. There's a lack of a third party and a good female lead, besides a heavier dose of irony. The Jerry Lewis cameo was a random surprise, but good for him: I thought he was dead.
Triple 9 (2016)
A well-layered chili of cops' cat and mouse games
Heist flicks are some of the most fun, when it comes to police/crime dramas. There have been more clever and eclectic examples, as far as I've seen, but this one's got the right ingredients and the proper time to set them in a good mix; the straight cops, the dirty cops, the hit, the car chase, the shootouts, the plans and the B-plans, with a bunch of misery and lowlifes in between. All the main women are hot, and I've never seen Winslet as sexy as in this role. Ejiofor is great as usual and the best here, along with Casey Affleck who should always be the one cast in movies containing his brother Ben instead, for the sake of Cinema. Paul plays the usual punk-ass loser and Hollywood keeps squeezing Harrelson's gritty detective with mouth marbles. Perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Cassidy Way (2016)
What afjmf from Wichita said; fracking is already awful in itself
Someone actually put together a thriller-gore about hydraulic fracturing, aka 'fracking'. As an obvious B-movie/film school project with some sort of budget, it apparently tries to be something worthwhile or even original, like a cult first or something. The base premise does make sense: fracking is dangerous and destructive and comes with an array of negative environmental impacts, like water pollution, random earthquakes and abuse of land, but having people go Dahmer because they drink their shitty tap water is ridiculous. Had they cast the great Gary Busey as the patriarch, it WOULD have become an immediate B cult. The family nymphet is yummy, while the girl who "has trouble getting close to people" by sleeping with both a guy and his friend is to Acting what Trump is to Subtlety.
The Truth Commissioner (2016)
The truth is that this film is boring AF (review includes a recipe)
The inner workings of a fact-finding commission are not exciting stuff to write a film around, but that's where good screen writing and dramatization can make for an enlightening and compelling story, like the dutiful "Spotlight" (2015). None of that here; it's a boring process of boring boredom as it dries on a drab wall. But here's the recipe for my signature Apple Pigs: you need an apple, bacon strips and cream cheese. Peel, core and slice up the apple into small cubes/rectangles, then place one apple cube at one end of a laid bacon strip and roll it up to the middle – apply a dab of cream cheese on the spot, then place another apple cube and roll the rest of the strip around it. Secure all the portions with toothpicks and pan-fry them on a preheated greased pan. Once cooked to the desired degree, top them with spices or sauces and enjoy some delicious Apple Pigs. You can also find the "how to" video on YouTube. You're welcome.
Who's Driving Doug (2016)
Predictable setup and sequence – Mitte could get better parts
With this you know how it's starting and where it'll wind up going, without surprises or deeper exploration. The characters go by profiled expectations as the story somewhat evolves for the protagonist, so I didn't find the ensemble engaging. The mother especially is a Lifetime sketch waiting in line for casting. Mitte is good; we've seen him in the great series "Breaking Bad" (2008), so he should get better parts where he's not just the kid with Palsy who needs crutches or a wheelchair. This take simply revolves around that handicap right from the title, not shifting the story in any interesting or creative direction. Even the ending seems to cut short, since an applause should be heard, no matter how cliché the scene is.
The Forest (2016)
Another cliché and unimaginative "horror" slop
Wasn't expecting much, so I wasn't much surprised that it sucked. I like Dormer from "Game of Scones" and I figured that the Suicide Forest setting could have been interesting; it was at first, in fact, for how dank and earthy the forest was pictured – plus Japan, of course. Too bad that everything is so immediately predictable; I could foresee how events would 'unfold' before the first half. Really unimaginative. Besides the see-through plot and the dumb twin's bumbling, there's the usual B-roll of bad digital masking, unconvincing makeup and lame jump scares with the screeching sound effect. All the terrible clichés that should be killed, burned and buried once and for all. Watch "The Witch" (2016) instead, which is art compared to this heap of compost.
The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)
A beautifully set horror tale that stands out among genre garbage
This piece is close to art form when it comes to the genre of fantasy horror; the casting is perfect and the parlance accurately immersive, while the setting and the atmosphere are well crafted by light and sound. There's the lonely picture of a small colonial family holding on to their meager patch of turf and the all-consuming gospel of an indifferent ancient god, as they face a wild web of trees and shadows in the preying woods at their doorstep – while a wolf is blamed as the lurking danger and cause of sorrow, it's the very Christian witch hunt and devil-chasing within the settlers that will yield self-fulfilling rituals of rapture and sacrifice.
London Has Fallen (2016)
A good follow-up to "Olympus..." with solid grit and tempo
The first movie was good and this one is very good also, for the premise it repeats and the delivery it provides. The characters are likable, the action well paced and the destruction massive, while the camera-work properly adapts to the changing scenarios. There isn't too much gung ho yahooery as the dialogue sticks to likable patterns, so the settings and motions are vividly tied to the kind of times we live on the global war front, with sophisticated defense technology and granular, insidious terrorist plots. While it's true that you gotta punch harder and cut deeper onto those who disseminate chaos and death, it's also true that you reap what you sow and the cycle of violence always takes the shape of a spiral.
Yip Man 3 (2015)
Setting-based kung fu flick for a simple but rounded story
I haven't seen the first two titles, but I will after watching this one; I like Donnie Yen's presence and steely grace displayed in his kung fu moves, which are seemingly based on defense and canceling counterattack. The small town framing and bad guy problem are painted with a broad brush, but the inner family story has a beautiful center in Ip Man's wife and there's good value in the late '50s setting. Just like the British guy with the affected accent, the Mike Tyson cameo is sort of random and goofy; I've heard the famous ex boxer speak and he's not a complete idiot, but he's gotta be a little punched up if he thought that his was a cool performance – though he'd also thought that a tribal face tattoo was a good idea, so why split hairs?
Wo hu cang long: Qing ming bao jian (2016)
Bearing the legacy name but an almost altogether different movie
I had enjoyed "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (2000) for its traditional Wushu style infused with poetic drama and elegant sword fighting – to our western eyes, the flying and soaring might look silly and obviously showing the ropes (as in harness cables), though the creative use of beautiful landscapes, costumes and feudal settings makes for an always inviting immersion. This following take has two major flaws in naming itself a sequel; the choice of going with an English-spoken version will open up better internationally, but it significantly detracts from the carefully crafted scenarios, culture and period – I only seek original versions with subs, so this was disappointing. Secondly, it simply aims to be more of a generic action and dagger flick with roughly cut dynamics, despite interesting characters and fighting scenes, like the original one on an iced lake. For me it reaches the sufficiency for the production value, but I'd have expected much more and much better.
Sinister 2 (2015)
Just some good gore and torture porn, otherwise same old fuff
Watched it after a friend told me she was gonna see it after having enjoyed "Sinister" (2012), but this one didn't work for me. I remember seeing the first movie, though I don't recall if and how much I liked it, so it probably wasn't that memorable. Besides the beautiful Sossamon, there's little else worth bothering with; while they have done a good job with torture death setups and convincing gory clips, the creep windup is spoiled by the usual cheap scares, goofy makeup and cheesy jump apparitions. 'Never work with animals or kids' – true here, since the ghost gang is neither spooky nor well acting. Skip this and watch the haunting "The Ring" (2002) instead, or "The Babadook" (2014), which was pretty creative.
I Smile Back (2015)
Well played by Silverman, well told as a family story
What you've heard is correct: Silverman shows proof of talent for dramatic roles as well. I like her comedic style and goofy standoffish stage persona, which got me curious about this film. The story rings true for the likeliness of family environments and the related social issues of prescription drug abuse, street drug use and so on. What I appreciated are both the inevitable scenario that comes to fore once the lifesavers of love and detox aren't enough to keep the protagonist from drowning in her own misery and the limited sympathy that's allowed for said protagonist, who's unwilling to reach for said lifesavers thrown at her, sliding instead into her lonely abyss.
Room (2015)
The first steps of two prisoners at the end of their odyssey
I got curious about this after I heard about Larson's Oscar for the role. The story is well told and intimately enveloped – both inside the room, as they cope and survive, and outside, as they adjust to a normalized life – and it has its moment of prisoner poetry, but it keeps it light on the drama strings as it filters the heaviness of psychological anguish through the prism of a 5-yr old boy. This could be seen as properly measured, of course, and preferable to most viewers, but I'd expect a more incisive and explorative recount, with all the squalor and darkness such abuse and rehabilitation would entail, before the opening to a new life. One also wonders about the missed chances of making enough noise to be noticed, and I spotted an obvious stylistic error in the camera vehicle's shadow as it follows the captor's truck. The kid was pretty good.
Forsaken (2015)
Run-of-the-mill Western with a single unusual deviation
It's a scene much seen before in the Western genre – or rather, done better – as Eastwood would shoot it or Duvall play it. A dusty frontierville in the grip of a gunmen gang can only mean one thing; that a renegade outsider is passing through (or coming back) to rectify the situation and bring justice to the folk. By no surprise, it's exactly what happens here. The draw for me was to see the two Sutherlands in combined action, though while I like the father's roles and charisma, I'm not much impressed or familiar with his son's work. One thing only sticks out as unforeseen, or otherwise mediated, at the end of the inevitable shootout that wraps it up; albeit anticlimactic, it's a respectable choice of events. Watch it or not, it's pretty much the same.
Deadpool (2016)
Actually cool and intentionally funny, like the first "Spider-Man" (2002)
I enjoy cool and witty masked heroes/antiheroes; as the summary line suggests, it's why I've liked Spider-Man since childhood – of course they had to increasingly fudge it up with the franchise's sequels. Clowns like Batman or the X-Dorks don't do it for me: they either take the stuff too seriously or just make them for serious nerds ["The Dark Knight" (2008) was neat, though, because non-campy and with Ledger's Joker]. Anyway, Deadpool; I was vaguely aware of the comics and got intrigued by the recent promos, also due to Reynolds' good showing in "Self/less" (2015). Costume and character are great, so the premise of a mutant goof thrown against the usual fantasy action mash-up works just fine. While the comedy is sometimes forced or just silly, it is mostly funny and entertaining throughout, despite the mandatory X-Whocares (how could a metal hulk be choked?) and T.J. Miller, who shouldn't appear or be heard in anything. If they shoot a "Deadpool 2" I hope they make it even better.
Zoolander 2 (2016)
As most sequels are; just a terrible idea
"Zoolander" (2001) was fun because ridiculous on its face(s) and set in an absurdist scenario between the vapid fashion world and a Pennsylvania mining town, so it worked for what it was – like "Pootie Tang" (2001). This reprise is just a tick above awful and only bearable to the half point. I don't know what Stiller's thinking; after coming to his own with the high-spirited remake of "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" (2013), he's gone back to stupid shyte shoveled ad nauseam. Greenbacks, I guess. I got to see Neil deGrasse Tyson's cameo (?), but listening to Chihuahua Cruz trying to be an actress and speak English at the same time was too much. I avoided seeing Ferrell in his idiotic role, since I find him as more of a hack than a funny-man. Only funny thing was Armisen's character. "Zoolander" reruns for the win.