Reviews
Dark Cove (2016)
Blah, blah, blah...skip to the pay off ending
Okay, so I rated this film a 5 after weighing the pros and cons (My initial number was 3-4). The first maybe hour (at least it seemed that long) is incredibly boring. The dialogue is cringe worthy and not funny. Yes, maybe it is an accurate portrayal of teens and how awful their conversations are but that doesn't mean you need to film an hour of it. This is labeled as a HORROR so I naturally expected some horror. Half way through my boyfriend asked me "are you sure this isn't a teen romance?". I looked at the description again: Horror, Thriller. So I sat through hoping for some epic turn. That turn happened thankfully and I loved what they did with the end. The acting was pretty subpar in the beginning but a few stood out above and a few got better in time. The australians were all decent actors. I especially like the big guy and even said "I like this guy". Just after I spoke his acting went crazily over the top but I honestly got a good laugh at it so I can't complain. All of the acting went pretty over the top and was fun, thrilling, and amusing.
Overall, boring annoying beginning with a surprising pay day at the end. Don't expect anything to put in your collection but definitely worth a rainy day watch.
Reeker (2005)
Watch Identity instead?
This movie starts off looking promising. It looks like it's trying to be a throwback but instead it turns out to be a mixed up mess where you can't even figure out when it takes place. Not sure why they tried to go for such a dated feel but then had newer technology like automatic flushing toilets, so out of place.
The acting was mostly terrible. The inclusion of a blind teen was interesting and I thought it had great potential for a new idea. It fell flat on it's face from the very beginning. I'm pretty sure they were counting on the fact that a blind person wouldn't see this movie and come down on them for this awful and embarrassing portrayal of the blind. The actor is horrible and the constant mention of the fact that he's blind is annoying. The hand shake scene was completely unnecessary and stupid. The rest of the cast is equally as bad, minus the guy that drives the RV, I enjoyed his performance.
A few of the kill scenes were entertaining but I still often found myself wondering why the heck they had characters doing certain things. Like the girl in the outhouse, why is she grabbing the toilet paper? Like that's going to do anything for her or makes sense in any way? She could have grabbed for something else. If it was supposed to be funny, clearly I missed it. It seems some people think this was supposed to be a satire of sorts. Let me tell you, I love a good satire even if it's subtle. This one isn't funny. Bad actors, typecasting, and dumb cliché dialogue/script doesn't automatically equal funny, just saying. It seems like it's trying way too hard to go in so many directions and honestly they should have picked one and stuck to it.
As for the ending: dull and cliché. This ending has been done before: Hello Sixth Sense, The Others, Silent Hill, I could go on... This is no longer a twist but a possible ending because of how many times it's been used even with their "stinky addition".
Overall if you're bored and want to see some people killed in a remote hotel setting watch Identity from 2003 which is a much better movie with way better acting, writing, kill scenes, and ending.
But if you still insist this movie can be enjoyed if you like movies where you are constantly saying "what the heck is going on" or "I can't wait for these people to die" which aren't necessarily always bad things. Just don't expect a lot. The reviews mislead into thinking this is a cinematic masterpiece and it is far from.
Bridgend (2015)
Awkward, confusing, and a disrespectful depiction of tragic events
I'm not sure why this movie has such a high rating. It attempts to be "artsy" but just ends up being awkward and confusing. The movie basically just consists of a group of punk degenerates partying, drinking excessively, committing crimes, and doing bizarre things. Oh and there's some suicides. Random shots thrown in that have nothing to do with the story. The plot makes no sense. There's a few suggestions as to why these kids are committing suicide like cult-like activity, parent blaming, and mental illness (or supernatural depending on your view) but nothing is ever really explained or shown. It's purposefully vague, I get that, but what's the point of the film other than to show that continuous suicides are scary? There is a detective but he is pretty pointless since he never actually really does anything of use.
The biggest problem with this movie is that it's supposedly based on true events but it does no justice to those events. The only truth is the fact of how many suicides there were which is written in text. The real story didn't involve a cult or even an exclusive group of friends. At most one of the teens who committed suicide knew like 3 others that did. Most knew one other person and it was a sort of chain that passed through not only bridgend but the entire County, so not exclusively bridgend. But the worst part is the portrayal that these kids were all degenerates who partied constantly and had no individuality. It is a disservice to show them in the way they did. The actual people were normal every day people. Some were happy with future aspirations for college and careers who made people laugh and contributed to society. Others did drink and have issues with the law. But the point is that they were individuals and not in any way like they were portrayed. On top of that it is insinuated that the parents of the kids are abusive or neglectful. The real parents that have given public interviews are clearly shown to be loving parents that were close with their children. I just can't imagine why a filmmaker would make the decision to portray victims of a real tragedy in such a negative and untrue way. It's completely disrespectful. If they wanted to create such a fictional story then they should have just called it something else and not used the notoriety of this tragedy just to profit from it. There is really no truth to this interpretation other than that there are suicides in a place called Bridgend. There is also no hope given in the movie at all. And what I mean is that many hoped this film would shed light on the issue of suicide and help the crisis. All this film does is make it look like it's inevitable, people are committing suicide and there's nothing anyone can do. How is that helping the cause? There is a documentary also called Bridgend that is much more enlightening and interesting. It brings to light real issues in the community like poor mental health services that could be fixed and prevent suicides instead of what this film shows: that it's a crazy cult-like group and there's nothing they can do in their depressing town but kill themselves.
Outlaws and Angels (2016)
Fantastic homage to classic westerns
I absolutely loved this movie. Initially I wasn't so sure about it because the way it's filmed at first glance makes it look low budget but as it progresses it's apparent that they were attempting to make it look older like a classic western. The movie is funny, thrilling, shocking, gritty, and gory, all things I love. The script and acting were brilliant. I loved most all of the characters even the ones you are supposed to hate just because they were so well portrayed. The scenery is really beautiful as well. This movie reminds me of the old westerns I used to watch with my dad but at the same time feels up to date with the advances in acting, plot, and originality.
I saw someone else comparing this to The Hateful Eight. I have to completely disagree with them. This is so much better than that movie. The Hateful Eight was highly disappointing: too long and drawn out, mostly boring, and not really funny. This movie is not in any way boring, it is clever, funny, and entertainingly shocking.
The two issues I did have with this movie are:
1. Luke Wilson--he sucks as an actor and I was annoyed when they switched to the scenes with him. Luckily he isn't a major player in the picture. 2. While the turn of events at the end did have some entertainment value, part of me feels it would have better had they ended it just before the last bit. It just seemed like maybe they were trying a bit too hard. Plus taking that part out seems to fit more with the traditional ending to a western. But still it's good as is.
8 out of 10. Would have easily given it a 9 without Luke Wilson.
All Girls Weekend (2016)
This is probably the worst movie I've ever watched
This movie is so bad that I honestly cannot believe it was released. It's also shocking how the budget could possibly have been 1 million dollars. The acting, the script, the directing, everything about this movie is absolute trash. A girl gets frost bite on her fingers so bad that they appear gangrene yet the actress just casually makes a joke like "who's going to date me now?" or something stupid like that. No surprise, no crying, just a simple joke and laugh. It's supposedly so cold she gets frost bite instantly out of nowhere but yet you can't see their breath in any of the filming. If it was that cold then you should not only be able to see the actors breath but their faces should be rosy and look cold as well. One girl dies from being covered in leaves. Yes, leaves. That's it. And whenever someone dies the other girls just act like nothing happened. Like "oh, Sarah's dead now? OK. La-de-da". The only thing that makes this not look like it was done entirely by high schoolers is the actual filming. It's not atrocious. That is, as long as you don't count the scene with the bear that looks like it was a shot from national geographics and pasted in.
I have seen probably millions of movies at this point. I'm a movie junkie. Horror movies being my favorite. This is the worst piece of trash I've ever seen. The only reason I watched the entire thing was because I stupidly ordered it On Demand without looking it up beforehand and felt obligated to get my money's worth. I had half a mind to call my cable company to demand my money back for such trash. As I said before everything except the camera work (which was still not great) seemed as if it was done by high schoolers, maybe even middle schoolers. And it's not even funny to make fun of. I mean, my boyfriend and I did make fun of it, but it was so pathetic that it wasn't funny.
And I just have to say: whoever did the positive reviews here must know the actors or be a part of the movie production or something. I don't believe any person could actually think this movie was good in any way. I normally would never say that because I know people have different tastes in movies but this shouldn't even exist as a movie.
Summer Camp (2015)
Dark shaky filming with lots of grunting
First of all the synopsis is inaccurate. The film is about camp counselors that attack each other, the children are only in like 2 minutes of the film.
The camera shooting: The film is mostly in the dark so you can't really see what's happening. On top of that the filming is incredibly shaky. Most of the film was just a blur of "what the heck is going on" because you can't see.
The acting: The acting isn't the worst but it also isn't good, at all. I would say that the way it was filmed was so distracting that you can barely pay attention to the acting.
The plot: Stupid. The reason for the counselors going nuts and attacking each other makes no sense at all especially considering they miraculously go from crazy to normal back to crazy with little reasoning. They also seem to sometimes remember what they did when "crazy" but other times they don't which doesn't make sense. Characters seem to disappear from scenes with no explanation. Overall it just doesn't make sense.
The gore: Since the filming is terribly done you can't really see much in terms of gore. There's some blood and a few "gore" shots but nothing to write home about. A lot of kills that could have been good aren't shown, the camera cuts out. It was overall disappointing considering the whole film is focused around crazy people trying to kill each other.
Basically this is a dark shaky camera movie with lots of annoying grunting and a stupid plot and script with tons of holes in it. The whole movie could have been done in 15 minutes but its stupidly drawn out. Don't waste your time. It's not entertaining on any level, not even to sit and make fun of.
Charlie's Farm (2014)
Almost perfect slasher film for fans of the genre
I joined IMDb just to write this review. I am a big fan of the horror genre, especially slashers. I am shocked that this movie has such a low rating. I assume people who don't appreciate slasher movies are the reason. The story line is pretty typical for a slasher film (it's not a copycat by any means) but that isn't a bad thing in my book. The kill scenes are amazing with believable gore and effects. The acting is surprisingly good for this genre as you really don't expect much from slasher films since character development isn't the point. The only downside to this movie for me was Tara Reid. Her acting is AWFUL. Like I said, I don't expect much in the acting department but her atrocious performance really took away from the movie. I expected more considering she is experienced in acting. Overall I was very pleased with this movie as was my boyfriend, also a fan of the genre. We were laughing, cheering, and had a great time watching. If you are a fan of the slasher genre, definitely watch! If not, don't bother. Sometimes I really feel like ratings should be grouped into two categories: fans of the genre, and non fans. This movie deserves way more than the 4.6 it currently has.