Change Your Image
Cobra_77
Reviews
Ink Master: Divide Of The Decade (2024)
Watered down
The season has more real people than last season. The OG (Old Guns) versus the Young Guns. The cast of contestants has a lot of offbeat characters just like last season. Unlike last season, this cast has a few real working class artists.
Some of the folks this season are nice people, and make the show interesting. The original series used to have mostly working class tattoo artists that were easy to relate to.
Once they got rid of the original Judges (Dave Navarro, Elmer Fudd, Chris Nunez) and replaced them with Ryan Ashley as the Judge boss, DJ Tambe as her sidekick, and Joel Madden (husband of Nicole Richie), the show changed drastically.
The only judge that always talks about the tattoos from a working class perspective is Nikki Hurtado. He keeps it real, like Oliver Peck used to do.
Joel Madden on a band called Growing Chowder. A far cry from Dave Navarro. Unlike Navarro, who had a lot of charisma, Joel Madden sounds very dull and speaks in a monotone voice.
The best thing that could happen to this show is to get a total re-vamp and go back go the early days with working class local tattoo artists from different regions.
Tracker: Noble Rot (2024)
Rotten
So attorney Reenie is living and working with the big Velma in the sticks, but she is also everywhere that Colter Shaw is working. It is kind of ridiculous that a full time big city attorney drops everything any time Colter calls.
This time she is at a retreat where the wife of her friend disappears. The two gals are madly in love, so Colter is called to track down Gray, the missing wife.
In the mix of oddballs is a guru who gave Gray some drugs and then let her run loose on a construction site. Colter finds some dead bodies at the construction site.
A couple of members of the spiritual retreat's janitorial crew may have been dumping dead workers into the pits that were going to be filled up for construction.
Perhaps some construction companies kill their workers instead of getting Workers Compensation Insurance, but it seems like a big reach. The explanation was that since the murdered workers were illegals, nobody would miss them.
Colter and his lawyer then say, "Now their families will have closure" which is ridiculous since the victims were illegals, they had no identification, and there is no way of knowing who their families are.
Kitchen Nightmares: Handlebar (2008)
Crybaby Owner
This episode starts out with the owner's wife all over a biker dude. I thought he was the owner.
Then they introduce whiny Billy, with the handlebar mustache to match the name of the restaurant. Billy is a mega victim. Nothing is his fault.
The restaurant is a disaster. As often happens, when Ramsay checks the kitchen and the freezers, the lack of hygiene is horrifying. Nobody is trying very hard, and most of the time Billy is drinking at the bar during dinner service.
His wife looks like she is not banking much on Billy or the restaurant. At some point Billy flakes out on Ramsay, and wants to close it down. Sadly for him, it would soon be out of business, and Billy would pass on also, in 2015.
FBI: Détente (2024)
Nothing new or interesting
Episode starts out with a bang. It seems headed in a good direction but then all the bogus connections to the wrong groups are made.
The FBI people are all at their computers looking up facebook profiles and googling crime lords and they come up with Paul Calderon, a 72 year old criminal kingpin with lot of powerful connections.
Director Castille warns the team, "Be careful, he has a lot of powerful friends." Apparently all the most evil people in New York City are connected. Sisto immediately checks his phone to make sure Calderon is not one of his former drug dealers.
Like usual, Maggie (Missy Peragrim) blows off her boss and does whatever she wants. Scola is adjusting to his next new partner, and whining about missing Tiffany.
Zeeko is involved with a new sub-plot about his former army buddy who is now a private security agent for powerful people. Is Zeeko going to be the next agent to leave? That would be sad, since he is the only one that has any credibility.
Eventually the team discovers that Paul Calderon's teenage son is the terrorist bomber. Like usually happens, they turn the son against the father, and get a confession.
The final scene has a predictable twist involving one of the victims. Like every episode, Missy talks the bad guy out of killing himself because she is such an amazing agent. These stories are just the same rehash of previous episodes. The writers are awful.
FBI: Trusted (2024)
Clear out this cast
Wow, so we get a new agent for Scola to wimper to, and Maggie (Missy Permagrim) immediately starts talking down to her and reprimanding her for being too cheerful on her first day with the team. What a drag Missy Maggie is. I wish she would get cut from this show.
Scola, who is the official apologist for everyone, immediately starts trying to make the new agent, Sofia Otero, feel better. She immediately tells him she asked for a transfer, too many jerks on the team.
Scola, Maggie, and Sisto need to go. Scola and his marital problems are annoying. His wife is another boring drag. Nobody cares that she hates her father and is miserable with Scola (the girl in the relationship). Sisto and his sick kid are another drag. Who cares? All these characters are boring and depressing.
FBI: Abandoned (2024)
Loser Agents Never Win
So we get some of Scola and his family life, which I could care less about. We find out Tifanny is leaving, thank God! Four years of her miserable personality were way too much. If only she could take wimpy Scola and his bossy wife with her, the show would be a lot better.
So like usual, bad guys shoot at the FBI, and the FBI never shoots back. Tiffany and Scola are interviewing a witness and he gets shot in the head. This is not the first time Scola or Tiffany have been standing next to a witness that got murdered as they stood and watched.
So Scola runs out and never takes a shot at the guys that are shooting at him. Thanks to the other loser, Jubal, running the cheerleader room, flabby guy Moran finds a clue on the internet as he is looking for Starbucks coupons.
So a few minutes later they have the assassins cornered and everyone at the FBI blows it like usual. As Scola is on an escalator one of the villains creeps up on him and cuts his leg. Sadly, Scola survived.
Eventually they get the villains and Tiffany announces that she is leaving. No farewell party for her. Nobody cares.
Right before that when Maggie Bell (Missy Peregrine) is talking to her partner, Horsey, she admits that she was the girlfriend of a female teacher in college. So we have that to look forward to in future episodes.
Tracker: Ontological Shock (2024)
Lots of Fun
I was very happy to see Jensen Ackles again. He is a much more charismatic actor than Colter. He made this episode a lot of fun, even though the story was ridiculous.
Plot holes: 1) Ackles finds his brother immediately; 2) There were no surveilance cameras that spotted anyone entering the top secret compound; 3) the first guy the Gov was searching for had already snuck in the camp; 4) The nice lady professor, who was just compiling info for a UFO internet group, was murdered! She had the least amount of info; 5) Everyone got away 6) Renee sent a guy with a truck who also found the top secret compound; 7) Ackles and Colter just drop the first guy off at his home, like there is nothing to worry about; 8) the little X-Files tracker that was put into Colter's neck; 9) the ridiculous stops to throw away phones; 10) How the main bad guy that killed the poor lady was nice to Ackles and Colter. 11) Where did all the trucks go? Everyone had their own truck at the beginning. 12) Why did Renee go to California to find Colter in Pennsylvania? 13) where did the aliens come from, and where did they go?
In spite of the story gaps, it was fun because it was obviously a big goof episode. It was just Ackles back in town to do his Supernatural brother thing, and that was more than enough.
It would have been nice if this was a well-written story that made sense, but it was fun, and that is enough for me.
Scream (2022)
Officer Doofy Bites It
It was not a bad way to waste a couple of hours. You know what is coming, so there is not much suspense or scares. Just waiting for the next death scene.
David Arquette is back as Officer Doofy, and he is retired because he was too slow. Sam and her boyfriend talk him into getting back into the investigation.
Officer Doofy tells Sam that the killer is probably one of her friends and looks at the spazzo from The Boys (Jack Quaid, often pegged by everyone). I knew it was him from that moment.
Neve Campbell and Courtney Cox come back too. Neve Campbell is hotter than ever. She looks great. Jena Ortega looks like a baby Chihuahua and the focus is always on her cute puppy dog face. She is the target victim, along with her sister.
About 6-7 people get killed. The kills are bloody, and that is a plus. It is entertaining fun, not scary. Good for a Friday night watch.
Brilliant Minds (2024)
Done before
Robin Williams tackled the same exact character in Awakenings. The TV series House was basically the same lunatic doctor character too. All of the craziness originally (and in reality) happened in the 1960s.
Taking patients' drugs, so he could know what they were seeing, etc. Was probably a bad idea 60 years ago, and it is even more likely to be fatal in modern times. Drugs are a lot more lethal now, so showing that kind of moronic crud on a TV show is just irresponsible.
Watching some pampered diva doctor ranting, raving, having hissy fits, emotional breakdowns, and all that is boring. Just cut to the scene where he starts eating suppositories.
Scrubs: My Old Friend's New Friend (2004)
Heather Graham blows everyone away
Heather Graham joins the show for a few episodes as Dr. Molly Clark. She does an amazing job of totally fitting in. Her quirky therapist character does some great dialogue with J. D. (Zach Braff) and Elliot (Sarah Chalke).
Graham's introduction to J. D. is hilarious. She just shoots some funny lines at him, like it was her show. Next she manages to drive Elliot nuts while trying to be her friend, and also informing her about J. D.'s motorcycle club.
There are a lot of new things going on in this episode, and I think it is one of the most creative episodes of Season 3 and 4.
One incredibly funny scene is when frustrated Elliot sees what she thinks is J. D.'s moped parked by the back entrance to the hospital, and she kicks it over. The Italian patient that pops up to complain is hysterical, and Heather Graham enters the scene to make it even funnier.
Great episode!
My Old Ass (2024)
Just another teen movie
Grubby Aubrey Plaza never been able to emote like a human being on screen. She has the acting talents of Lassie when she is trying to play a nice character, and an angry character from any of the Planet of the Apes movies most of the rest of the time.
Fortunately, she does not have much screen time here. The movie poster is bait and switch. Grubby is not the co-star. She is just a minor player.
The real star is a bland actress who really could be anybody. This is like a formula movie, and anyone could play the leading role. Maisy Stella could be anyone at the local mall or shopping center. Just a face in the crowd. Her acting is on the same level.
This is just another average teen movie about a teenager finding herself.
Orphan Black: Echoes (2023)
Brutal
What story? Who knows? The original Orphan Black was off the rails. This spin-off tries to pull off the same convoluted lack of coherence but fails.
Krystin Ritter is no Tatiana Maslany. Watching Ritter's dreary mouse look is depressing. Maslany had the natural charm and wit to pull off the insanity. Ritter just hasn't got it.
Looking at her weird airplane shaped nose with the sides open so you can look up into her nasal cavity is odd. Kind of hoped she would be in the Marvel Comics movie about the Lizard. That should be her next role.
As with most new TV shows, the other two main characters were given a modern orientation. You can meet more modern family folks on TV than you will ever meet in person, thanks to the people writing the stories.
Bizarre Worlds with Andrew Zimmern: Florida (2009)
Bizzarre by a mile
This episode is mostly about South Florida, and about half of it is food.
Andrew Zimmern decides he wants to be a cultural diva, and goes to Fort Lauderdale drag queen clubs to dress up like a drag queen and sing songs with the other queens. None of this had anything to do with any food. It was just Zimmern showing his true colors.
Next he becomes a mermaid in the Weeki Wachee Mermaid Show at Weeki Wachee Springs State Park. A mermaid actress helps him dress up like a giganti manatee / mermaid. Then she tries to teach him to swim around in the mermaid outfit. A very sad and disturbing thing to watch.
Overall this episode was some kind of creepy coming out party for Andrew Zimmern, and it had very little to do with food.
Orphan Black: The Antisocialism of Sex (2016)
Peaches Bodyline live performance
I never watched this show. The seventeen clones or split personalities of Tatiany Maslany are ridiculous and boring. I never liked all the Eddie Murphy movies where he plays eight characters that are very similar, but you have to pretend it is great and inspired acting.
The only reason I watched this is that I was channel surfing and saw a couple of seconds of Peaches singing Bodyline! Wow, she can perform the hell out of anything. This was a great song, I had never heard it before.
Unfortunately, there is only one minute of the performance in the episode, so I tracked it down on YouTube. Thanks Tatiana, for including Peaches.
The Deliverance (2024)
Funny
A possessed little boy says "I can smell your nappy p****" to Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor when she is trying to exorcise the demon possessing the little boy. Andra Day also gets verbally abused by her demonic mother (Glenn Close) who wishes that she had never been born, in a very graphic way.
The crazy remarks by the possessed characters end up being so over the top that they are funny. Even more funny when invisible forces pull characters by the hair and they get the "Don King" look with the hair going straight up, not like it was in the hand of some ghost or demon.
Glenn Close after she becomes a demon is awesomely hilarious. Close has awfully silly threats, like angry Grandma. Close also has really pointy teeth, but then in close-ups the black spaces between her teeth shine and mirror the camera, so you can see it is a mouthpiece. Is that bad lighting, bad on the camera-person, bad on the editor? They just let that through.
This movie had a lot of good moments, but the horror-demonic ending was a trainwreck of unintended comedy, bad dialogue, and really bad special effects.
Zatôichi monogatari: The Kannon Statue That Was Tied (1974)
Good combination of swordplay and kindness
Zatoichi meets a Geisha on the road who happens to be an ex-convict. She wears the tattoo that is marked on all convicted felons and is generally shunned.
She is looking for her daughter, who was born when she was in prison and taken away. Her search is for a retired guard who took the child to raise it as his own.
In the local town there is trouble brewing over the location of the annual festival, which is the major source of income for everyone. As often happens, there are two yakuza clans in that town who both want to control the festival and the shrine.
Naturally, there is also a corrupt official who is taking bribes from both clans, and egging them on to fight, so he can bring his own gang into town to wipe out the winning clan.
Zathoichi is naturally dragged into the mess, and it all connects together eventually. Zatoichi is very nice and thoughtful to everyone, which is nice to see. Like always, when the villains come to harm his friends, Zatoichi ends up being the one that cleans up the town. This is a very fun episode. Happy moments, and swift justice too.
Kojak: Caper on a Quiet Street (1977)
Great Cast
Armand Assante when he was 28 years old (but looked younger) is the leader of the gang. Candice Azzara was 32, and she plays the prostitute with a heart of gold who is in love with Assante. Does he love her? He tells her he does.
Meanwhile she is also playing Kojak for a sap by telling him that she wants to help him catch the gang. Candice convincingly flip flops a few times, and makes the story interesting. Candice had a very sincere acting style, so she made her changes of heart very credible.
Kojak and his team are after six million dollars that were stolen a year earlier by Assante and his gang. They come across the guy that hid the money, but he dies before talking.
Assante knows what building the money is hidden in, but not what apartment. Kind of an interesting mystery, and both Kojak and Assante are trying to figure it out.
The main problem with the story is that six million dollars is a lot of money. Tearing open a wall to hide it in an apartment is a lot of work that requires tools, cement, drywall, etc. Gene Davis is one of the bad guy phone repair men. His claim to fame came in 1983 when Charles Bronson hunts him down in "10 to Midnight."
This was a building with a doorman, so people could not just walk in with construction gear. On the other hand, the doorman was not too bright, so a year later a whole gang got into the building claiming they were electricians, exterminators, phone company repair, etc.
When the six million is found, it pops out of a briefcase that looks like maybe $25,000 could have fit into it. So there were some props that could have been better.
Grizzly Man (2005)
Interesting & Sad
I watched the story of Timothy Treadwell and it made me believe that there was a God or Nature that protected him for over thirteen years. Treadwell would spend every summer in Katmai National Park in Alaska. He would camp out in a tent for about four months, and walk around among the bears, and literally play with the bears.
It is nothing short of a miracle that he was not killed earlier. However, the summer months are the tourist season, because the bears are usually well fed and not too aggressive. Once summer ends, the bears are facing winter and less available food, so they get more aggressive.
Treadwell knew this, but he believed that he had created a magical relationship with the bears, and that the bond he had with the bears would protect him and his girlfriend. Treadwell loved the bears, and he worked to raise money for the bears protection. Unfortunately, he thought the bears knew him personally, and that they loved him too.
When you see Treadwell talk about his relationship with the bears you have to wonder why none of his friends had him committed to a mental hospital. It is very clear Treadwell had the best intentions, but he was insane when it came to dealing with bears.
That he managed to get himself killed was expected by everyone that knew him. Several people that were interviewed had thought for many years that he was not only a danger to himself, but also caused the bears to lose fear and respect of humans, which would cause them danger too.
The saddest part of this documentary is that Treadwell had a girlfriend who adored him. She was also a nature lover, and wanted to protect bears too. Treadwell persuaded her to go out and live with him and the bears for a few summers.
He also persuaded her to stay with him when the summer season was over. Both of them had to know that it was much more dangerous and irresponsible to do that. They were both killed and eaten by a bear in October 2003, so they had stayed at least a month into the danger zone.
Watching this movie is like watching a horrible trainwreck that you know will happen. It is very interesting story, and also very sad.
Firecreek (1968)
Great Cast led by Henry Fonda
James Stewart, who was a sixty year old senior citizen at the time this film was made, is married to Inger Stevens in this film. Inger Stevens was only thirty-four years old in 1968.
Even more ridiculous was that she had three young elementary school age children with James Stewart, and was pregnant with another baby in this movie.
James Stewart plays a peace-loving townie who just wants everyone to get along. He is willing to tolerate any level of abuse, until the mentally challenged Arthur (Robert Porter) is murdered after he saves Meli (Babara Luna) from being attacked by one of the bad guys.
The bad guys are the best characters in this movie. Henry Fonda is their leader, and he is not playing any milksop here. He is standard tough guy Henry Fonda. The rest of the crew consists of Gary Lockwood, Jack Elam, Morgan Woodward, and James Best, who were all tough villains on their own. Together they were a formidable team. You can see why James Stewart kept backing down.
James Stewart versus Henry Fonda was no match at all. Fonda would win 99 out of 100 times.
Dead Boy Detectives (2024)
Wake up & go back to sleep
Another TV Series by Neil Gaiman that died very quickly. For those who live in the world of awoken afterlife, all these shows were every character is more out there than the last one is probably Heavenly. For the rest of us it is a bit too much.
I enjoyed this TV series. The actors were fun to watch and entertaining. For some TV shows it is necessary to export an agenda. Apparently that affected the ratings.
Briana Cuoco as the tough butcher was fun. Kassius Nelson had a lot of personality. As a fan of Supernatural, seeing Ruth Connell as a recurring character was a big plus. This show had a lot going for it, too bad it was canceled after one season.
Alien: Romulus (2024)
Not as boring as Prometheus & Covenant
Finally after all the Prometheus garbage, we get an Aliens film about sociopathic killing machines that want to incubate your face and have babies in your guts.
Nothing like a space mission where all the astronauts are teenagers.
The first thing Isabel Merced does is throw up, because she got pregnant during the Mission Orientation!
The characters were pretty worthless. The only actors that were good people were the girl and her Forest Gump android. He was a pretty good android, for a change. The rest of the characters were extremely expendable.
Next up is Aileen Wu and one of the guys (they both look and act the same) who is trying to hijack the ship and leave everyone behind.
Just a cast of characters that make the local McDonald's or Taco Bell look like NASA.
A Quiet Place (2018)
OK
The best scene of this movie is when the annoying little kid takes the spaceship toy and puts that batteries in and it starts making sounds as the kid is pretending to fly and a monster runs by and takes him out. Annoying kids should die in more movies.
Second best scene is when the "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood" Dad gets offed. Why didn't he try to take a shot at the monster with his axe? Just standing there shouting was pretty lame.
The house has a pretty air-tight basement, and they could have put rocks and cement over the windows there. Instead, they live in a gigantic mansion full of windows, where every sound travels out. That did not make sense.
The ugly deaf girl has no clue how much noise she is making, because her hearing aid does not work. How did she never get killed?
The end when they discover that the girl's hearing aid annoys the monsters was fun. It ended on a positive note.
The Crow (2024)
Pretty... Lame
The original was great, and it was turned into multiple sequels and reboots what were generally horrible. The legend of Brandon Lee's death gave life to a story that should have died with Brandon Lee.
The Crow is a very limited story about one act of vengeance. Just a one shot. The first Crow was the best, and he should have stayed as the only one. He died to be The Crow. Brandon Lee's memory was never respected, because of greed.
The new Crow looks great in a leather outfit. His girl, FKA Twigs is beyond bizarre. Bald headed and ugly is not a great combination. She can play Olive Oyl when they do the remake for Popeye. Her love chemistry with The Crow is less than zero.
The Crow blows. Watch something else, like the original Crow, the best one.
IMDb on the Scene - Interviews: The Crow (2024)
Uglier than Hell
Who really cares about this garbage? The Crow is a very limited and lame story about one revenge. There is no sequel to this, no second act. Just a one shot.
The original was great, and it was turned into multiple sequels and reboots what were generally horrible. This one manages to be worse. The legend of Brandon Lee's death gave life to a dumb story and bad productions.
FKA Twigs is beyond bizarre. Bald headed and ugly is not a great combination. What is FKA stand for? I can hardly wait to find out. She could also play Olive Oyl when the do the remake for Popeye as soon as Ben Affeck is available to ruin another famous character.
The rest of it is nothing but lame. I.
Blood Ties (2007)
Too generic
This show had promise, but almost immediately it becomes all about everyone flirting with each other. Even the massive sidekick detective (Keith Dallas) is constantly gossiping, and you have to wonder if someone who was still in high school wrote the screenplay.
Cristina Cox is not bad as a lead, but she is thirteen years older than the vampire guy Kyle Schmid and is pretty quickly hitting on him and vice-versa. Once again, the whole occult mystery / suspense theme gets diluted by the constant flirting.
Cristina Cox has an old boyfriend who she worked with when she was a detective on the police department. They have a lot of hot moments and friction too. Between the vampire, the detective, Cristina Cox, and the various other characters, it feels like it is Gilmore Girls or Buffy the Vampire Slayer and there is too much personal drama.
Overall, this show had some good bits but it could not tie things together as either suspense, romance, or comedy. It ends up being a little bit of everything, and not much of anything.