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mlynch5187
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Reviews
Seven Kings Must Die (2023)
Trust me, DO NOT WATCH!
This is arguably the worst movie I've ever seen. Really. I loved the TV show and watched it multiple times, so maybe I'm biased. However, the movie made no sense. This movie is literally about a closeted homosexual king who wants to conquer and control everyone because he struggles with his sexuality. Yes, this literally what the movie is about.
The formerly Intelligent and likeable Aethelstan is now a guy who brutally murders everyone around him due to his repressed homosexual tendencies. He has no love or compassion for anyone due to his sexuality. If only people had been more open-minded in Dark Ages England!
C'mon guys, why is this the theme of a Dark Ages movie? I get it, some people are attracted to the same sex. But since when does being attracted to the same sex make you want to brutally murder your most loyal men and women? This ridiculous "movie" ruins the entire show. DO NOT WATCH this. I ignored the reviews saying "do not watch" and now I wish I had heeded their advice.
Tuntematon sotilas (2017)
Amazing
This is the only Finnish movie I've ever watched. One of the best war movies I've ever seen, and I love war movies. There are echoes of The Thin Red Line. Very moving and Powerful. I saw clips of thos on YouTube before watching, and had no idea it would be this good.
Le samouraï (1967)
Sets The Standard
Le Samourai sets the standard for many, if not most of the crime films made since the 60s. Gritty, and realistic. The bad guys have few redeeming qualities. A true classic.
Mafia Inc (2019)
Close To A Masterpiece
I had few expectations for this film since it is rated a 6.9. But wow was I blown away! This has to be one of the best Mafia movies out there, and one of the best Canadian movies ever made. The plot, the script, the acting...everything is excellent!
Mary Magdalene (2018)
Disappointed
This turned out to be a woke secular take on biblical times. Joaquin Phoenix did a terrible job playing Jesus, he should stick to Joker. Lots of heartfelt dramatic music for what are emotionally empty scenes. Production and scenery are the only redeeming factors. If you are going to make a biblical movie, make it right.
Paul, Apostle of Christ (2018)
Moving
A heart wrenching film, I thought it started a bit slow but really enjoyed this!
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
One of the Best
Beautiful, moving, and thought-provoking are some words I would use to describe The Passion Of The Christ. Being a film about Jesus, it is controversial for some, but for me, this one of the best movies ever made. There isn't anything else like it.
Gomorrah (2014)
One of the best of all time
Simply one of the best shows ever. It's on the level of The Sopranos, The Wire, and Breaking Bad. I've watched it twice!
Anime nere (2014)
A Story of Tragedy & Betrayal
What a moving film! Very deep and different from the usual bloofest you see in gangster films. This seemed alot like a great pilot for a top notch miniseries.
Dogman (2018)
Lots of potential
This film was very intriguing for the first 45 minutes. The main character is a loving father and has a soft spot for animals. Then it continues to plod along with the same theme: a little guy who gets pushed around so much that it becomes pathetic. The cinematography is great, and there's no cheesy soundtrack, but this film could've been cut in half and would've been better. The film abruptly wraps up during the last 30 minutes when this little guy finally steps up to the plate. Not a bad film, but not as good as critics say.
Suburra (2015)
Perfect Movie
Not sure how I missed this one! I watched this after watching the series, and am very impressed!
Romulus (2020)
Very Underrated
The use of archaic Latin, the way the story arc comes around full circle in 10 episodes, it's all really well done. They even went out of their way to include the naming of actual and mythological early Latin and Etruscan cities and regions like Gabii and Veii, and they kept the story within the context of Romulus & Remus' foundation legend. I admit it started out a bit slow but really picks up quickly, and things come together in an unexpected way. I am not sure what show people were watching to give this a 6.7 rating. I was ambivalent to watch this due to the rating, but I am glad I listened to the positive reviews and gave this a shot. Romulus is certainly better than something like "Vikings" which is rated much better. For any history-lover Romulus is a must-watch.
Il primo re (2019)
Masterpiece
This movie is a work of art. One of the best films I've ever seen. Frankly, the fact that this is rated a measly 6.5 is just criminal and speaks volumes about why mediocre movies are made en masse. If you prefer to watch "Honey Boo Boo" or "Dude Where's My Car" don't bother watching this - it'll go over your head. If you have awareness of who Romulus and Remus were, if you have read a book outside of school before, or if you have any appreciation for culture, you may find yourself enamored with this film.
Centurion (2010)
Terrible
Giving this a 3/10 for camera work. The film is meandering and boring. There's lots of superhuman battle scenes that really make you lose interest. The insertion of completely ahistorical female warriors who run the show ruins whatever is left.
Julius Caesar (2002)
Decent
I found this better than most of the reviews. I was engaged the entire time! It can feel a bit rushed as they tried to cram decades into a three hour movie, but nonetheless surprisingly decent.
Imperium: Augustus (2003)
Just Terrible
I've never left a one star review, but this was unwatchable. Between the soapy acting, cheesy plot, overbearing music, and massive inaccuracies, it's just insulting.
Rome (2005)
Epic
Simply put, this is one of the most underrated shows of all time. The attention to detail is absolutely astounding. The story arcs are captivating. Although only two seasons long, Rome is like reading a gripping novel!
The King of Staten Island (2020)
Lasted less than half an hour
Basically, this movie is about Pete Davidson being a loser. He's cringy, uninteresting, and entitled. Turned this off in disgust after watching 30 mins of adult children getting high.
Ferry (2021)
Great Crime Movie
This is a great movie, much better than portrayed by the naysayers. The story had enough twists to keep me on the edge of my seat. I loved this so much that I went on to binge watch Undercover, the series on which Ferry is based.
Mid90s (2018)
Average
Not much going on in this movie. It is basically about a boy as he goes downhill. Drugs, alcohol, casual sex, and other vices are offered to him as he practices skateboarding. Mid90s ends abruptly, as there isn't really a conclusion or real story arc. Yeah, the 90s atmosphere is nostalgic, but that's about it.
The Physician (2013)
Great!
Really impressed by this movie! I'm surprised I didn't hear of it before.
Valhalla Rising (2009)
Beautiful Yet Confusing
I didn't understand what was going on in many parts of the movie. Especially during the second half, it got weird. As others mention, Valhalla Rising is indeed slow moving and artsy. The atmosphere is stunning, and it looks like the writers wanted to create a masterpiece, but in the end I wouldn't watch it again.
La catedral del mar (2018)
Well Done Series
This is one of the better medieval series out there. I loved the story arc and thought it was the perfect length. This is similar to Pillars of the Earth but IMO done better.
Ironclad (2011)
Much Better Than A 6.1
Just a decent movie. Sure, it isn't 100% historically accurate, but it's quite entertaining and one of the better medieval movies out there.
Terriers (2010)
Excellent
I have watched Terriers twice, and definitely recommend. It's almost insane that this was cancelled after only one season!