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Wild Eye Raw and Extreme
Feature-Length Amityville Movies
Reviews
Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning (1987)
A Parody in Name Only
This movie opens with a guy sitting in Hell wearing a hockey mask. After a few seconds, he removes the mask to reveal a completely normal looking dude. The woman he's been hanging out in Hell with proceeds to call him Jason about thirty-seven times. It may also be named after my personal favorite Friday the 13th entry, but this is where any and all similarities with the popular horror franchise end.
Obviously, if you're looking for a slasher porn parody you will be very disappointed with this movie. I was fine that it wasn't, and knew that going in, but my main issue is that there's really no horror aspect to be found here at all. Why name it that then not even give it a little bit of a horror twist, ya know? (Marketing gimmick, I know, but still.)
The man and woman in Hell keep daring one another to go back to Earth and corrupt the innocent. This is our weak wraparound tale to piece together these clumsily shot sex scenes. There really is no narrative, although a couple of the scenes involve the same characters. The one involving the televangelist at least gave me a couple laughs because of how offensive it was at times.
Other than that, this is very run of the mill late 80's pornography, and not a very good one at that. If you're looking for horror porn, stay away, and if you're looking for Jason Voorhees slasher porn, forget about this title entirely and go check out the Official Friday the 13th Parody from Zero Tolerance instead.
Eastbound & Down: Chapter 15 (2012)
Worst episode of an otherwise near-perfect series.
I am a huge fan of this show, but will always consider this episode the absolute low point. The first half of it is extremely funny, with Kenny carrying around his baby in a backpack, and the usual crude humor. While this show has ventured off and placed Kenny into some wild situations, it has still retained a sense of believability. This is where this episode fails.
The second half of the episode that takes place at Ashley Schaeffer's plantation is so far fetched, it loses that believability. It feels like they threw these characters into Looney Tunes and it doesn't work at all. It is very out of place when looking at the rest of this series. You can't create situations this stupid and expect the audience to still take the serious moments seriously. Luckily, the show gets back on track and never dips this low again.
13 Fanboy (2021)
If Making "The Room" of Slasher Movies Was Their Intention, They Succeeded
I'm not sure where to begin with this one. I caught this film at it's premiere last night and only a couple minutes in I knew this was going to be real bad. It reminded me of something a child would have written.
There is no pacing in this film whatsoever. It seems like scenes are cut and pasted together with absolutely no sense of tone. It is very jarring how it jumps from one scene to the next. By the time Kane Hodder was giving his unnecessarily long monologue as he died in someone's arms, I was cracking up. It was then that I realized I had to treat this movie like I was watching The Room. It truly is unbelievable how flawed it was at times, but it makes for some great unintentional comedy. The bad dialogue, editing, poor soundtrack choices, and performances are cringe-worthy. I even felt embarrassed for the dogs that were involved in this production (though I will admit there were several cute dogs in this film, and those were probably my favorite parts).
If I absolutely *had* to give one positive note, I would say that it was shot decently. It did look like a "real movie". But in order to make a good movie, you need more than a good camera and a bunch of horror veteran actors involved.
As the film ended, I turned to my girlfriend and paraphrased Billy Madison to her. "Everyone in this theater is dumber for having to sit through that. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." We laughed, and no more than thirty seconds after, the man seated next to us rose up with a microphone and announced that he was the producer. I then realized I was sharing the theater with mostly people who worked on this film. How embarrassing! I assume they're the ones currently giving this a 10/10 rating as well. Avoid unless you're looking for a slasher film that seems to have had Tommy Wiseau as a ghostwriter!
Fantaghirò: Fantaghirò (1991)
Not for me.
I seem to be in the minority here, so let me give some brief background information about myself. I am in my 30's and have been an avid horror fan for most of my life. I know Lamberto Bava from his films such as Demons, Demons 2, Blade in the Dark, Macabre, etc. It wasn't until a couple days ago that I found out he directed a bunch of fantasy films for Italian television throughout the 90's. Luckily, I found the first eight chapters (four films) of Cave of the Golden Rose on YouTube in their English dubbed versions.
I also grew up with a bit of the fantasy genre, ranging from everything like the old Sinbad films, Labyrinth, Dark Crystal, and TV shows like Hercules The Legendary Journeys. So Lamberto Bava taking on the fantasy genre had lots of potential for me.
Unfortunately, this is not the type of fantasy I really enjoy. I get the most enjoyment out of the imaginitive sets and creature designs in fantasy worlds, which I felt this film was severely lacking. The one scene I liked the most was near the very beginning when the princess wanders into the forest and realizes the trees, rocks and fish can all talk. This was the most creature design I saw in the film's 3+ hour runtime (aside from a giant mouth). It was also lacking in action, in my opinion.
That isn't to say that the story wasn't engaging. I did somewhat enjoy the first chapter of this film, it was mostly fun, so I was hoping it'd end with a more thrilling climax. If I had to rate just the first chapter alone it'd probably be a 4 or 5 out of ten. I absolutely hated the second chapter though, which explains why I ended up gaving this a 2 instead. It turns into nothing but a love story. Love stories are not my thing, and I almost completely tuned out at this point.
I will still continue on with this series, in hopes that maybe they get a bigger budget to create more interesting creatures with, and stray from the romance stuff. I see the user ratings drop every time a sequel was released, which is a good sign for me, seeing as how I usually end up liking the stuff that's generally disliked. No offense to fans of this series! It's just not for this horror buff (so far).
Doll Syndrome (2014)
Very grotesque and disturbing arthouse horror.
This film is 95 minutes long and contains no dialogue. There is also very graphic and very real sex scenes complete with bodily fluids. Needless to say, this film is not for everyone.
The plot is simple. We follow a nameless, disturbed man around and watch his mental state deteriorate further and further. He stalks a couple then goes home and indulges in his fantasies and sexual perversions. We are treated to a very strange and short stop-motion segment, but other than that, this basic set up repeats itself over and over for the first hour or so. I was never bored, but I do feel some of this could have been cut to make the movie flow a little faster. But it gets truly tense by the end, and a good payoff for the slow burn.
There are some truly gross and disturbing scenes in this film. If you don't have a strong stomach, I advise you not to watch this. There was one scene in particular that made me start feeling sick to my stomach (which is quite a feat). Also another scene that freaked me out a bit to the point where it made me utter "oh what the f---" out loud.
It's hard to get into much detail about this movie without spoiling it. I enjoyed getting grossed out and shocked by it. There's not many movies that'll do that to me anymore. I would probably rate it closer to 7, but just for that alone I bumped it up to an 8. If you're a fan of extreme cinema, I definitely recommend a watch. If not, stay far far away.
***** I re-watched this movie on March 20th, 2023 and bumped it down to a 7/10. I still felt about the same; that the first hour drags a tiny bit, but there is an intense and shocking payoff at the end that more than makes up for that. Some of the initial shock wore off on a second watch since I knew what I was getting into, I guess, which is why I originally bumped it up to an 8 in the first place. I still consider this one of the better entries in modern extreme cinema.
Blood Beat (1983)
This one was SO. WEIRD.
Where to begin with a movie like Blood Beat? I had never even heard of this until Vinegar Syndrome gave it a Blu-ray restoration a couple years back. It sounded odd enough that I decided to give it a chance. Odd is an understatement.
You are never given any explanations for anything that happens in this movie. It's not one of those experiences where the end credits begin to roll and you're angry because you feel like you wasted your time though. They never lead you on like you're going to get an explanation at any point, you're just along for the ride.
The film itself has slasher tendencies, but it's definitely not a full-on slasher flick. But for a slasher villain, the Japanese samurai is super cool and original. Not to mention that a girl keeps having orgasms every time it kills! Why? Who knows?! But it's a cool effect!
It also seems like the majority of the cast has phychic powers. How? Beats me! What does it all have to do with the mother's paintings? Don't ask me! But it adds an unusual supernatural angle to everything.
The film itself is actually shot rather well with some memorable cinematography. This combined with the editing, and in certain scenes the lighting, add to the trippiness of everything. Blood Beat almost plays out like a nightmare. There are many dream-like qualities to it.
I just finished the film as I'm writing this, and I'm so intrigued by this oddity that I feel compelled to research it a little further. This will be one I'll try to introduce to as many people as possible. Highly recommended to lovers of strange cinema, and those who know how to have fun with a "bad movie".
Chrome Hearts (1989)
The best thing about this film is it's title.
I expected there to be a fair amount of slapstick humor in this given the film's title, but it is actually quite reserved in almost all aspects. It may be a Troma flick, but do not expect Lloyd Kaufman-directed levels of absurdity. The humor is bland. I only managed to laugh at two gags throughout the movie's entirety.
For a zombie flick, it is also very lacking in blood and gore. There is some (barely), but those looking for a gut-ripping gorefest will be very disappointed. Like on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being Dead Alive, this would maybe be a 2. 2.5 at best.
For a flick with "chicks" in the title, it is also severely lacking in showing any skin! There's some sex scenes but absolutely no nudity. ...actually, I take that back. You do see Don Calfa's butt, but was anyone really hoping for that?
So you have a biker/zombie exploitation film that's not gonna make you laugh, won't please gorehounds, and won't please the pervs hoping for some nude scenes. So what are we left with? Well, not much at all really. The title is cool. You get to see Billy Bob Thornton in one of his first roles, and get to see him take a knee to the groin. Um... There's a midget? (I'm sorry, dwarf). It's watchable, just boring, or at least not nearly exploitative enough to my liking.
This film does seem to have some sort of cult following given a few of the reviews here, but it wasn't my thing. There's way better (but also way worse) Troma movies out there.
Fraternity Vacation (1985)
Worth a watch for the cast alone.
When I found this movie at a local pawn shop for a buck, I was really surprised I had never heard of an 80's sex comedy that had the likes of Tim Robbins, Stephen Geoffreys, Amanda Bearse, Barbara Crampton, Kathleen Kinmont and John Vernon in it.
While it has a great cast, I found the film to be mediocre in general. I got a few good laughs out of it, but I have seen many other sex comedies from this era which were way funnier and memorable. Though I will say the shared topless scene between Kinmont and Crampton is worth the price of admission alone.
If you're a fan of dumb 80's comedies loaded with beers and babes, you could do much worse than this, but you could also do a little better.
Mom and Dad (2017)
Most people who didn't enjoy this are overthinking it.
I see a lot of people getting upset that this movie "didn't have an ending". Yes, the movie does end with Nic Cage in mid-sentence, but I completely disagree with that. I'll get back to that though (which this does contain major spoilers, I advise not to read anymore of this review until you've watched the film).
I also see people upset that there's never any explanation given as to why everything is happening. That is true, but I don't think there needed to be one. This is the type of film where you're just kind of going along for the ride. As some other reviewers stated, it almost felt like a throwback to some exploitation films of the 70's or 80's, though shot in a more modern style.
While it is fairly lacking in gore, there are a handful of shocking scenes throughout. If you're squeamish about violence towards children, you may want to skip this one. Though the film never takes itself *TOO* seriously, so it never becomes over-the-top disturbing. There were quite a few times I got a good laugh.
Now, the ending. If you weren't paying attention, these parents were longing for their youth again. They had grown tired of their lives as adults. The scene after Nic Cage smashes the pool table is an important one to pay attention to, but there are also nods throughout the entire film which lead you to this theme. They are almost jealous of their children's youth.
So what makes the ending funny, is that the parents have now been captured and tied up. The kids are in the position of power and acting like parents. "We want to believe you, but...". The mom and dad get their wish in a darkly comedic fashion and are getting treated like teenagers. It ends with Nic Cage stuttering and trying to explain himself, much like a kid would be trying to talk himself out of the situation.
It makes sense, right? That's what I took from it because I never tried overthinking the plot. The ending was great!
Stirring (2018)
Boring modern slasher.
The main problem I had with this film was that it took itself a little too seriously, and none of the actors are good enough to carry a film of that nature. When it tried to be funny, it wasn't funny at all, because again the acting is not up to snuff. The writing was also nothing to write home about.
The bulk of this film was a bunch of unlikeable "party bro and their girlfriend" characters hanging out and talking at one lame Christmas party. In fact, with about fifteen minutes left in the movie, these characters are STILL sitting around having boring conversations in this room when, you would think, the film had created some sort of tension at this point. Nope. You also get to read all their texts that'll pop up on the screen randomly, which I thought was rather dumb. It gets to be quite a chore to sit through, with a gore murder happening every fifteen minutes or so to liven things up.
I do admire the fact they chose to use all practical effects for this film and not any CG garbage. The kills are basic slasher stabbings and slit throats, with none of them standing out in particular. But the blood does flow rather nicely. It still definitely wasn't enough to save the movie for me though.
There's some brief topless nudity, and Brinke Stevens shows up as a cop. I will also say the shots right before the opening credits were well done and genuinely creepy. It gave me hope as the movie started up, but unfortunately, it did not get any better than that.
Not the worst thing I've ever sat through, but still just another forgettable slasher flick.
Night of Terror (1986)
If you love your films bad, boring, and confusing, by all means!
I'll also add for the fans of cheesy 80's horror, absolutely nudity or gore (save for the final five minutes) either! The only enjoyable part of this film is a two minute scene towards the end that's slightly trippy and features the film's only gore/effects moment. That could work out totally fine if this film was an enjoyable slow burn, but that it is far from. With everything you had to suffer through just to get that one cool scene, who cares?!
Where to begin on this one... There seems to be about seven or eight subplots going at once, none of them interesting. It mainly follows around a woman who's trying to decide whether or not she's still crazy. And man, does she like to talk! The movie is compromised mainly of endless dialogue scenes, occasionally jumping into a random 80's dance party featuring a live band for several minutes. We're also treated to random cuts into stock footage (with a MAJOR jump in quality) of another film featuring the same lead actress. I originally thought this footage was going to pan out and it would be playing on a TV or something. Nope. Supposedly it's the character's "visions". Cool.
About the only thing that saved this movie from being a total dud was that scene mentioned before, and the fact I got a kick out of all the bad acting and dialogue; the teenagers in particular. I normally love everything Massacre Video puts out, but you can definitely skip this one. You know, unless you're like me and have to seek out every single bad horror movie ever made.
Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)
I can't say this is a "good" film, but I feel the need to defend it.
I am writing this as I have binge watched the entire Hellraiser franchise front to back. This film being the only one I had never seen before. Having only heard terrible things, I prepared myself for the worst. Honestly... while I can't say I truly liked it, it was definitely my favorite since Inferno. The big complaint seems to be "no Doug Bradley", but who cares? Did anyone of you even watch Hellworld?!
To backtrack a little, Inferno, Hellseeker, Deader and Hellworld, were all non-Pinhead related scripts originally. You can absolutely notice this when you watch them. I am a fan of Inferno, I think it was cleverly re-written to feature the Cenobites, but you can definitely tell it was something else before that.
Hellseeker and Deader, seem to suffer from the leads constantly waking up from nothing but "bad dreams" (*cue stinger sound*!). It gets rather repetitive and annoying. These two also suffer from some glaringly bad CGI, something the earlier films shied away from.
Now Hellworld... Where do I begin on Hellworld? This was some awful post-2000 slasher script that was rewritten into a Hellraiser movie. The Cenobites are treated as jokes and nothing but an online game (like a bad mixture of New Nightmare and Halloween Resurrection almost). The dialogue is some of the most frustrating stuff I've ever had to sit through. They even pull out the cliché, "this is like something out of a bad horror movie". The characters suck, the acting sucks, the story sucks, the writing sucks, the pop-rock soundtrack sucks. It is a painful experience. I can't believe Doug Bradley agreed to this garbage, yet turned down Revelations.
Now finally, Revelations. I prepared myself for the worst. I will say that the guy playing Pinhead is nowhere near as good, but oh well. I'd rather rate based on content of the film.
A script written actually intended to be a Hellraiser film? Yes, finally! And it shows! This is honestly much more closer in nature to the first two Hellraiser films than any other in the series (with maybe the exception of the newest Judgment).
CGI? Practically none! All the delightful blood and gore (and chains) are back to being practical. Thank you!
There were honestly a couple scenes that made me slightly uncomfortable and shocked me a tiny bit. Something that hadn't happened in this franchise for a very long time. I basically rolled my eyes through the last three before this.
The downside is you can definitely tell this production is rushed, and the acting isn't all that great. But you know what? They tried. It's dark, the subject matter is disturbing, and the Cenobites act as close as they did to their source material since Hellbound.
I rated this film a 4/10, though I feel it will rise upon a future rewatch.
Just because Doug Bradley isn't in this movie doesn't mean it's total garbage. If you truly think that way, I urge you to rewatch this and Hellworld back to back. If that doesn't change your mind, I don't know what else to say. Maybe you just enjoy CGI gore and Pinhead being reduced to a slasher who spouts one-liners. But I sure don't.
Duck! The Carbine High Massacre (1999)
A disturbing and darkly comedic look at America and it's wave of school shootings.
I guess I'm in the minority here, but I loved this movie. I'm familiar with William Hellfire and Factory 2000's early output, so I knew what I was in for. That may have helped. Still, I was initially put off by the first twenty or so minutes. I expected this content to be taken a little more seriously. Once I understood the tone they were going for, I got it, and loved it.
There are some disturbing moments in this, but tongue is firmly in cheek through the entire film. It pokes fun at the cliques in high school, the clueless parents (which are ALL played by the same two people, I found this to be a funny gag), American media's obsession with violence. The massacre at the end gets fairly graphic and uncomfortable to watch at times, but the black humor still shines through.
If you're looking for an offensive but intelligently done low (LOW) budget flick, I can't recommend this one enough. One of Factory 2000's best films.
Gothkill (2008)
Painfully unfunny and dull horror "comedy".
Satanism, goofy humor, naked goth babes... This premise had a lot of potential and sounded right up my alley but wow, I have not been this disappointed and outright annoyed with a movie like this in a while.
It was a bad sign when the movie started and the lead actor immediately got on my nerves. He disappears after the opening scene and we're introduced to the two leading ladies. But don't worry! That annoying lead keeps popping back up to make a bunch of unfunny quips or just randomly narrates things.
After a dress-up montage, the two lead girls end up walking around a goth club for about ten minutes where nothing happens. Did I mention the sound design on this is terrible? Well, it is. We're treated to some occasional topless women but when a movie is this bad, that doesn't even matter.
This film has a 70 minutes runtime. It hit 50 minutes and they are STILL TRYING TO SET UP THE PLOT. Talk about excruciatingly boring. I had the impression there would be some decent gore in this, but there is none. There is some blood that gets splashed around but even that is very minimal. You would think they could've taken the time to make some innovative kills with the body count this film has.
This film is very cheaply made but that's not the issue here. I watch stuff that looks like it was shot in someone's backyard and have a great time with it. This movie is just boring, unfunny, and never takes off. Completely got on my nerves. Oh, and if you're drawn in by the fact that Mistress Juliya is in this? She shows up for maybe a whole minute of screen time. Don't bother.
I rarely give out a 1 rating on here but this is one film that I really feel deserves it. Don't waste your time.
La morte vivante (1982)
Sad, gory, beautiful French film.
I believe I've seen five films from Jean Rollin at this point in my life, and this one is still my favorite after all these years. The acting may be hammy at times, but at it's core, this movie is quite depressing as it touches on themes of not being able to come to terms with the death of a loved one and doing whatever possible to not lose them again.
There's a bit of skin on display here from a few good-looking women and lots of the red stuff spraying about with multiple scenes of flesh ripping and eating. Though it may not be as exploitative as some viewers may be hoping for, as it still retains some of Rollin's trademark dreamlike/arthouse qualities (though not as much as usual). A particular favorite scene of mine is when Helene is trying to drown out the horrific screams of woman being murdered with the sound of doves.
A very good example of early French horror. Recommended.
American Guinea Pig: The Song of Solomon (2017)
Some good gore, nothing else going for it.
I think my biggest issue with this movie is that it tries way too hard to be serious, but none of the acting is good enough to be taken even remotely seriously. If it had even taken a couple brief moments to make a light joke here and there, so we know not to take it so serious, it could've helped it a tad. The bad actors overacting resulted in a lot of unintentional comedy.
The fact we did not see the possessed girl before the possession, in an innocent state, also lessened the effect in my opinion. Not like I wanted this film to be any longer than it already was, but I felt like I kept getting introduced to more and more new characters that I just didn't care about or know enough about to care, when I didn't even know anything about the lead girl in the first place. That makes for a pretty big chore to sit through this one.
But I don't believe they were concerned much with character development anyway, they were much more concerned with the splatter. Which is totally fine! I love gore flicks. There are a few fine displays of effect work in this film. The finale was rather impressive in that aspect. But when there's nothing else going for it, and the film just isn't good enough to believable, I feel the impact of the gore is also lessened.
With some better actors, maybe this movie would have succeeded for me. But as is, it should've known to keep it's tongue firmly in cheek so the viewer could've had a more enjoyable time with it.
Cutting Class (1989)
An okay late 80's slasher, but nothing special.
I have a real soft spot for 80's slasher films, even when they started to go downhill towards the end of the decade. This one is watchable if nothing else.
Jill Schoelen is always nice to watch and it's funny seeing Brad Pitt in a movie of this nature. Roddy McDowall plays an odd role as the perverted principal. Come to think of it, the entire school staff seems to have been hired in off the local sex offenders registry. This makes for a few more red herrings, but with the writing not being overly clever, the killer should be fairly easy to spot for those familiar with the genre.
There is some very brief female nudity on display here. The kills are fairly tame, even in it's uncut form. The one kill that stands out takes place on a trampoline.
Speaking of the uncut version, the original region 1 DVD which claimed it as the "unrated version", was still cut. If you watch this film, make sure to check out either the region 2 DVD or the new Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray release. It's almost bloodless in it's edited form, making for a very disappointing slasher. Uncut still isn't overly bloody or gory, but it's much more satisfying.
Nothing I highly recommend, but if you're looking for a slightly more obscure slasher flick, you could do worse than this one.
Amazon Hot Box (2018)
A wasted attempt at revitalizing an old genre.
This was filmed in some beautiful locations and it was also shot real well. That's about where my positive comments end though.
If you're trying to pay homage to a genre from the 70's and 80's, why would you throw in so much horrendous CGI? The movie starts with an awful CG headshot. If you're making me groan out loud within the first minute, that is never a good sign. Lots of really bad CG blood splatter in this, with a few moments of okay practical gore.
If you're paying homage to the WIP genre, where was all the nudity? Why are women showering with their underwear on? Why are they in sexual situations and still have it on? The sheer stupidity was making me laugh. This does not deliver on the sleaze factor.
Most of the performances felt forced and overacted. The guy who played the doctor did not convince me as a villain whatsoever.
This film seemed like a bunch of ideas and characters all throw together with none of them being fully fleshed out. I didn't really care about any of these characters. I was struggling to figure out the point of several of them in the first place. The humor was out of place and none of it was funny.
To add to the positives I mentioned in the first sentence here, I did enjoy aspects of the final act; a montage where most of the characters met their fate. I mainly enjoyed Ellie Church's performance in this part. This was the only portion of the movie that really grabbed my attention (finally). Too little too late.
I was really looking forward to this movie because I love the WIP genre, but I ultimately felt really disappointed after watching. It just didn't deliver for me, but at least it was short at an 80 minute runtime.
Ghoulies (1984)
The 80's: When Bad Movies Were Still Good!
I'll admit I have some nostalgia attached to this film since I used to rent it from the video store as a kid. I also have a soft spot for any Gremlins-type knock off films, and I also really enjoy most of the output from Empire Pictures (those Richard Band scores were great). All that aside, I do recognize that this isn't necessarily a "good" movie. But you know what? It's still fun and you could do a lot worse.
I see complaints about there not being enough action with the Ghoulies themselves. This is true, most of the focus is on the rituals and spells the main character is performing, while the creatures are almost an afterthought at times. We're also treated to a couple of midget servants who don't really add too much to the story. We also have an evil clown doll (which sorta creeped me out as a kid). It's a weird hodgepodge of stuff.
I like how the film is more or less a slow burn, with all hell breaking loose in the final twenty minutes or so. It could've used more Ghoulie mayhem (a problem remedied in the far superior sequels), but I still think it's a fun enough flick for lovers of dumb 80's horror and little rubber monster movies (RIP John Buechler).
Teratomorph (2019)
Very impressive micro-budget flick.
This film was a sequel to South Mill District. While I really enjoyed SMD, it almost felt like a tease. I wanted more after I watched it. Teratomorph completely satisfied everything SMD kept me yearning for.
The effects work in this is insane for a micro budget flick. Monsters, gore, goo, stop-motion, transformations, melting. It's really impressive stuff and there's occasionally some pretty frightening imagery.
The thing I may enjoy the most out of these films is when you put them on, you're completely taken out of reality and enter this unique universe the filmmaker has created. It's like you're watching something that's similar to Earth but ultimately takes place in a different dimension. In this way, it's similar to the works of James Bell, though James and Joe both have completely different styles.
If you're into underground films and have been sleeping on Joe Meredith's stuff, I highly recommend you change that.
South Mill District - 7/10
Teratomorph - 9/10
The Geek (1971)
I at least have to give some credit for originality.
I really enjoy horror/porn hybrids from the golden age of adult cinema. This particular movie was missing a plot and lacked any kill scenes, which was a big letdown for me. Six people venture into the woods, set up camp, all this over narration, two couples have sex, Bigfoot finally shows up and rapes a couple of the women and throws the men around. Bigfoot runs away, the six people stagger off, the end.
There just wasn't much to it, and the Bigfoot creature only shows up in the final ten minutes. I would have enjoyed this much more if there was at least some blood or gore flying around to spice things up at the end. But at least it's short (the Vinegar Syndrome release seems to be the most complete to date, clocking in at 56 minutes, including cumshots which seemed to missing from previous versions that others were reviewing), and I also give it credit for being the first (and only?) Bigfoot porno ever made.
Worth a watch as a curiosity piece, but it's nothing special.
Ghastlies (2016)
Dumb and lazy, but not the worst thing I've ever sat through.
I picked this up because I'm a huge fan of Critters, Ghoulies, Troll, Gremlins, and films of that nature. This could've been a fun little throwback but it lacks creativity and tries too hard to be intentionally bad on purpose.
The "Ghastlies" themselves are awful looking puppets that barely move. They even make the Hobgoblins look like a godly effects job. But I could look past that if they had any sort of character. There's no backstory to them, they never talk or really interact with one another. It's just shots of them giggling most of the time. *mild spoiler* After the movie has ended, an animated short starts up involving the Ghastlies. In the cartoon, it plays out like a Looney Tunes type thing where the creatures are pranking one another. Okay... so where was stuff like that in the actual movie?!
The characters and actors are nothing to write about. Intentional bad acting and dialogue, didn't laugh once at them. All cardboard cutouts and cliches. There is some brief topless nudity in the beginning and that's it.
I will say the film finally does pick up in the final ten minutes after dragging on and on for the first hour. There were a couple goofy gore gags at the end that got a little chuckle out of me, which was the only bit of enjoyment I got out of this. Too little too late though.
Not the worst thing I've ever seen, but still far from my cup of tea. I'd recommend it only to lovers of truly bad movies, and to try and rent it first before purchasing like I did.
Deep Dark (2015)
I really felt like I wasted my time.
I was drawn into this because the description and some reviews made it sound like it would be a visual trip and very experimental. It's actually just a pretty straightforward story about a struggling artist. The only twist being he talks to a hole in the wall and it grants him parts to make his art. It also gets jealous of any woman he tries talking to. That's about it.
Don't expect a horror film. Or David Lynch-lite (which is what I kind of had in my head). Or any comedy. I'm honestly not sure who the intended audience of this film was. I kept waiting and waiting for something off the wall to happen and grew increasingly bored when it never did.
The one positive thing I will say, is that the plot was fairly original. It had lots of potential, I just wish it was more entertaining.
Grindhouse Nightmares (2017)
Unwatchable
This is the first review I've ever written on here, as a warning to you all. I watch all kinds of bad low-budget movies and I'm a pretty big fan of underground stuff. Even if it's a bad movie I'm not feeling, I will almost always suffer through it until the very end. I was only able to make it twenty minutes into this before I started skipping forward. Turned it off after forty. I know a lot of people are quick to jump and say "worst movie I've ever seen", but this definitely scrapes the bottom five for me. And believe me, I have suffered through a lot of garbage. Stuff like Hip Hop Locos and Nightmare Museum!
How Michael Madsen found himself in this mess (in a very unfunny Tarantino parody trailer), I will never understand. It's sad that filmmakers have the money to hire people like him, Linnea Quigley and Bill Moseley just to stick them in completely worthless and unoriginal trash like this (the first segment is nothing but an unwatchable Saw ripoff that just keeps dragging on and on and on). Take my word and avoid this at all costs. I was lured in by the fact Linnea was in it, and that it was only $1.50 at Family Video. I could've done so much more with that money, just like this director could have done with his. A financial waste all around.
R.I.P. My $1.50