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Supernatural (2005)
Supergood naturally
Supernatural is gonna draw the obvious X Files comparisons so we might as well get them out of the way now. Its stars are an intrepid duo who travel across America encountering all manner of paranormal phenomena and mythological creatures. It has a lot of ex-files staff too which is apparent if you have watch both shows pretty closely.
Supernatural isn't as smart as The X Files , nor is it as cleverly written. The X Files was ahead of the time in many ways and is still unique in others, in that it was a mature drama which took its subject matter very seriously. It managed to blend sci fi and the paranormal skillfully so that you almost didn't notice the seams. Supernatural in a way is like The X Files - lite. It knows what it is and I think is a more focused show then its predecessor. From the get go it lays it out to you that it is situated in a world where ghosts, demons and witches really do exist. Once that is established its on with the show and there is no looking back whereas the X Files constantly had the viewer questioning and thinking about what he was seeing and hearing. Where The X Files was the thinking mans science paper, Supernatural is a camp fire ghost story.
Which is more then fine by me. As a lover of ghost stories myself Supernatural makes for fantastic viewing. Its strongest points are its atmosphere and visual imagery. The storyline surrounding the brothers relationship to their father and to each other is in its fledgling stages and will no doubt become stronger over time. Already though it is fun to watch the interplay between Dean and Sam. being the older brother in a family of two myself I find myself sympathising with Dean. Not just because of that but also because I find his personality something I can relate to. His is very Mulder-like in his often whimsical approach to situations. The other brother Sam I find downright annoying at times with the overplayed teen angst.
As for the story lines themselves this is Supernaturals weakest point. So far in the first series Supernatural has a basic structure which rarely changes - brothers drive into town, weird things (usually deaths) happen, brothers use fake ID's to find out about the demon / witch / ghost just in time to save the Hot Chick of the Week(tm) wash, rinse, repeat. If it continues Supernatural is in danger of burning out real fast. However in latter episodes there looks to be some sort of mythology developing which should hopefully complicate things. The fathers connection to their mothers death, Sams visions, the Meg demon etc.
Having just criticised the story lines I have to admit I love their themes. Each week focuses on a different legend such as the woman in white, bloody mary, vampires etc. Each handled very well and with a surprising amount of knowledge. You can tell that ghost story telling is a real labour of love for the creators. It also introduces a lot of lesser known legends such as the wendigo, shrika etc. Someone is doing their homework and I cant wait to see what creatures appear in later episodes. The references to other supernatural shows such as the x files and ghostbusters is an added treat for fans of the genre. As is the classic rock soundtrack. My god someone has taste. Its like they reached into my mind and put down all my favourite past times on celluloid. Well the ones that can be viewed by under 18's anyway. I wouldn't say Supernatural has "made scary sexy". I would say its made scary cool again. If only I could be cool again too. Maybe I would be if I had a Chevy Impala too.
All in all an excellent new series dripping with humour, atmosphere and chills. Here's to series two!
Pumpkinhead (1988)
"Day-dai what did you do?"
I don't think anyone knows just how evil old women can be. I do, and they terrify me. I dread the day my mother officially becomes "old". I don't know what I might do.
The star of this movie from a horror point of view therefore isn't the redneck father, the kid or even the pumpkinheaded creature but the creepy old bint in the hut. I don't know why Stan Winston hasn't done more directing. He has managed to create the freakiest of old freaks in the hag (appropriately called "Haggis") who has the reputation around inbred town of having "powers", and no they aren't talking about electricity.
The story surrounds the death of a little boy run over by Evil City Folk(tm). After the boy dies the father seeks out the aforementioned abomination to conjure up a demon to avenge his family. Cue lots of running around the woods by scared teenagers, blood. screams and no nudity. Which was unfortunate for all involved.
Visually the movie is stunning. It almost looks like a pastel drawing and moves like a comic book. The contrast between the eery blues and warm orange and reds is striking. The overall effect is to produce an atmosphere which is the strongest part of the film. The story isn't the most original, but does contain some nice twists. Lance Henricson of course is the man, although his facial expressions while holding his dead son are bizarre and confusing to put it mildly. The supporting cast aren't much cop and are just fodder for the creature as par the course for films like this. The creature itself is pretty neat. Its not mindblowing and can look incredibly awkward at times. If remade today I think this is one instance that CGI could make a huge improvement, although I would still keep the suit for close up shots. It would be criminal not too.
These may sounds like criticisms but the whole film comes together to create something which is greater then the sum of its parts. Its as charming as a horror film can be, creepy and beautifully shot. The ultimate halloween film and deserving of cult classic status without a doubt.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Dracula : dead and loving this.
For me this is simply an amazing film. Having been a big fan of the novel it was refreshing to see someone go back to basics and create a film that sticks as closely to the book as possible. In much the same way Peter Jackson nailed the look and feel of the Lord of the Rings books (even if you do have doubts about his storytelling) Coppola has, for me, nailed the mood and atmosphere of the Bram Stoker classic.
The story needs no elaborating on. What is worth mentioning is the stunning performance by Gary Oldman as the man himself. Bringing an element to the character seldom scene (except maybe in the Nosferatu films) you begin to almost sympathise with this evil creature. Thats quite a feat! Anthony Hopkins is one of my favourite actors and his casting as Van Helsing was inspired. What wasn't quite so clever in my opinion was the bizarre decision to cast Keanu Reeves as Harker. The guy is so wooden that two more of him should be planted if he is ever chopped down.
A lot of people complained that the horror took a back seat in this film. True maybe, but it still contains a lot of creepy and downright horrifying scenes. The wolf on board The Demeter, the "rape" scene in the garden, the Lucy scene in the tomb, the bat creature and the crucifix etc. More then a lot of other balls out horror films. Not only is it creepy it also looks incredibly lush and boasts a Gothic atmosphere not matched in many films, in part thanks to the fantastic music.
A must see for fans of the book and horror / Gothic fans everywhere. Its also a film so good anyone can enjoy it. Except those of course who support the notion that Keanu Reeves is a good actor.
The Thing (1982)
A Thing of Beauty
I never realised it before but I'm a bit of a John Carpenter fan. I still don't like Halloween though, I find it an ordeal to sit through.
This on the other hand is pure brilliance. The story revolves around a group of American researchers on an Antartic research station. After rescuing a dog from a seemingly crazy bunch of Norwegians (or were they swedes? ;)) they start falling host to an alien being that can imitate anything it assimilates. Cue plenty of suspense, paranoia and gore.
This film wouldn't have worked anywhere else. The sense of isolation and hopelessness adds to the claustrophobic horror of the film. The characters, especially Carpenter veteran Kurt Russell are fantastic. It may seem on the surface a simple horror film but its so open at the same time that you can read anything into a particular scene or conversation. You feel just as paranoid as the characters on screen. Its wonderfully done. Its a testament to the film that it is being so hotly debated 23 years after it was released. I'm still not quite sure who was who, even right at the end. Whether this was intentional on the filmmakers part or arose simply because of the nature of the story I really cant say but its a major part of the films appeal.
The film is also well known for its gore and creature effects which are still fantastic even today. In fact in the wake of CGI snoozefests they can be appreciated even more. Some scenes such as the defibrillator scene are simply shocking upon first viewing.
A lot of films seem to focus on one aspect of horror, whether it be gore, suspense or psychological. The Thing defies convention and masters all of them effortlessly. One of the greatest horror films of all time and one of my personal favourites from any genre.
Pet Sematary (1989)
Some times dead really is better
The Creed family have just moved to a new home beside a busy road. A path leads from their house to a pet cemetery housing all the animals killed under the wheels of the speeding trucks. But just beyond the pet cemetery is an Indian burial ground with the power to raise the dead. Only what you bury isn't always what comes back.......
Its not a terrible film, its slightly above average. In fact it starts off great with plenty of suspense provided by the unseen cemetery and what it could possibly do. Unfortunately it starts to roll ever more quickly downhill when you see what actually does come back. Problem is it simply isn't scary. Cats with attitude problems and pale kids just don't do it for me. The wives bizarre sister Zelda was the creepiest thing is this film and should possibly have been used over the little kid or the cat.
I agree with whoever said it had a kind of Tales From The Crypt schlocky ending. The potential for a truly horrifying film was sadly missed.
The Skeleton Key (2005)
Skeleton Key has some flesh on its bones
This is actually quite a clever little movie which I think will be criminally overlooked. Its a supernatural thriller in the spirit (ha!) of films like The Others. Old houses, creepy noises and plot twists are the order of the day, but The Skeleton Key still has enough charm to stand out from the crowd.
The film revolves around a young nurse played by Kate Hudson who, disillusioned with the uncaring nature of the home that she works in, takes a job caring for a paralysed guy in a creepy old house in New Orleans alongside his wife. Pretty soon strange noises in the attic, and talk of ghosts and hoodoo (which "isnt like voodoo at all") set Kate out on a journey to investigate the secret of the house using her skeleton key.
Like a lot of films it seems pretty straightforward until the 3rd act, where the Big Revelation(tm) will get you analysing everything you've seen earlier on in the film. Unlike a lot of other films The Skeleton Key makes a lot of sense, its very neat, and once you properly figure it out, everything in it falls into place. What's really wrong with Ben? What happened to the slaves? Whats the deal with the mirrors - was Micheal Jackson a former owner? All will have you smiling slyly to yourself as the pieces of the jigsaw neatly align.
A very satisfying and creepy little film, worth watching for the gorgeous Kate Hudson alone.
Almost Famous (2000)
Beautiful
I have to admit the first time I saw this film I was less then impressed. Misleading advertising led me to think it was some sort of Spinal Tap alike. As a result I completely missed the point. Almost Famous is a mix of different film types but its mixed so brilliantly that the sum becomes greater then its parts.
Its funny, tragic and heartwarming all at once. You could tell it was a real labour of love for all involved. The love triangle between Penny Lane, William and Russell was brilliantly done, especially the part she learns she has been "sold" to another band for beer. "What kind of beer?" she smiles with tears streaming down her face. The film is full of fantastic scenes like that, brought to life by the fantastic performances especially Kate Hudson's.
Its also very funny and contains a lot more laughs then so called dedicated "comedies" but such is the excellence of the drama and relationships its often overlooked. The speech Russell is giving to the drunk kid at the party, the drummers revelation on the plane, not only funny but impeccably timed to raise the spirits just when things may start getting too heavy.
And thats why its so great I think. Its just a film that makes you feel good. Its a film that leaves you thinking about the characters and what lies in store for them long after the story is over. Thats when I know a film has touched me.
Darkness Falls (2003)
Better then you've heard
I don't understand the hate for Darkness Falls. Its not a classic but still a pretty entertaining horror film.
The opening sequence is fantastic and genuinely creepy. The rest of the film doesn't match it which is a shame. Its starts as a voice over explaining how an old woman in the town used to give children treats in return for their teeth earning her the nickname of the tooth fairy. Two kids disappear and the town lynch the tooth fairy in retaliation. The two kids turn up safe and sound but thats not much consolation for the now dead tooth fairy who has understandably cursed the town.
A unique twist is provided by the fact that the tooth fairy, being horribly scarred in a fire, can only come out at night wearing a porcelain mask. Sounds pretty stupid but it actually works and provides an excuse for the hiding in darkness routine monsters tend to love.
Some parts are clichéd, such as the rugged handsome hero helping his old girlfriend,the inevitable shoot out in the cop shop, and the grand CGI unveiling of the monster at the end, but Darkness Falls still has a great atmosphere and some dense and suspenseful scenes - the opening, and also the kids "therapy" session...
Nowhere near as bad as people would have you believe.
Shadow Builder (1998)
Bram Stokers The Mumm - sorry Shadowbuilder
As a direct to video release this isn't half bad.
Shadowbuilder is loosely based on a Bram Stoker short story. The first shadow created when God flooded the world with light is out to plunge it back into eternal darkness. I think.
This film reminded me very much of The Mummy in structure. Evil dude comes back to life drawing powers from souls he devours in the midst of an avalanche of CGI. The film relies a lot on CGI which I didn't like at first. But if you accept it as more of a fantasy film then horror you will recognise its actually pretty well done. The demon also isn't that bad. The garish pink monstrosity (yes it was pink) on the DVD cover led me to believe it would be a yawn inducing man mincing around in a horned rubber suit but I was pleasantly surprised. Good use too of shadow and darkness so what you see of the creature leaves most to your imagination. Just the way it should be.
Some parts of the film drag a lot and there aren't that many great moments. But that isn't to say there aren't any at all. Overrall though Shadowbuilder remains pretty average but still very enjoyable if you aren't looking for something that will blow you away. Unlike the Matrix wannabe priest with the twin 9mm's. The film needed a lot more of Neo shooting vainly at the afro toting bad guy.
The Ring Two (2005)
Breaks the ring
Being a big fan of the original Ring this film was incredibly disappointing. The story follows Rachel and her son from the previous film as they move to Oregon to try and start a new life. What they don't know its that the tape still exists and is currently embarking on a tour of impressionable teens that Britney Spears would be proud of.
The first half of the film is good and I found myself wondering what everyone was complaining about. It was creepy in the subtle way the original was. I was however a bit concerned that it was heading in a bizarre Nightmare on Elm Street direction. Unfortunately it ended that way too. People talking in their dreams? People getting sucked into TV's? Urgggh.
There were some interesting parts to it. It was hinted that Samara's father wasn't human, something which was an integral part of the Japanese series. Also the part where people kept visiting Samara's birth mother from time to time could have been elaborated on as it was one of the few intriguing parts of the film. It was hinted also that Samara is part of a larger entity or one of several demon children born every now and again. At least thats what I got from it. And thats the problem. The most interesting parts of the film were too vague and never led anywhere. Instead they decided to focus and cheap visual thrills such as the horribly over the top TV confrontation at the end which did its best to ruin the entire film. A lot of the comments I heard about that was that it was just plain "stupid". I grudgingly agree.
A bit of an opportunity wasted then. I didn't have a problem with Samara popping up everywhere without the aid of the video as it was explained why that is. Its degeneration into a cheap Elm Street / Exorcist rip off is more what angers me especially when the producers had a more tantalising and creepy option right in front of them.
Hopefully the rumoured prequel will address these issues. In fact I heard it does and that several scenes were cut from this film in order that they be integrated into the next. It certainly would explain the slapdash nature of this one as Ring Two really suffers for it. Not bad overall but could have been so much better.
Resident Evil (2002)
A nice deviation from the games
I'm a fan of the Resident Evil vodkas. Because of that I was really looking forward to the movie. I hear Romero wanted to do something which stuck more faithfully to the plot of the games. That would have been preferable to Andersons film but thats not to say this isn't still enjoyable.
The plot revolves around a virus which has the ability to reanimate dead corpses and was used to develop hideous bioweapons. When the virus escapes, the underground complex known as the Hive is sealed and a special team is sent in to investigate.
Andersons film is at first nothing like the game. The original took place in a Mansion and there was no character called Alice at all who is the principal character here. However there are enjoyable references to the games such as the Licker creature which appeared in Resident Evil 2 (VG) and stalks the cast throughout the film. There is also a nice reference at the end to the Nemesis program which takes centre stage in the second film and third game.
Its not a startlingly original horror film, or a film which takes the baton and refines a formula beyond what existed originally. But for fans of the games it is an interesting and enjoyable film, and that was what was intended more or less.
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
He's back.
Probably the greatest science fiction / action film ever Terminator 2 is almost the greatest sequel ever. That goes to Camerons other opus Aliens. In fact Cameron is so good at sequels Titanic 2 would probably be something to look forward too rather then fear. Unlike another Amityville Horror film.
T2 takes place several years after the original. Sarah Connor has had her child - the young John Connor. Unfortunately she also came off as slightly nuts while raving about robots taking over the world and so she is locked up in a mental hospital. While this is happening another Terminator has been dispatched, this time to kill John himself. The T 1000 is a liquid metal Terminator capable of reforming into different shapes. Thankfully to combat our meltable foe Arnie returns, this time as the good guy to protect John and his mother.
Its hard to review Terminator 2. Its just far too good for words. The villain played by Robert Patrick is probably the most villainous of all villains, the action is probably the most action packed of all action sequences. Plus it will also make you cry at the end. An action film. Seriously. OK just me then. Still a kind of bizarre situation where you find yourself close to shedding tears for a toaster with legs. But Terminator 2 manages it. In fact you feel Terminator 2 could do anything and get away with it. A bit like a woman in that respect.
I don't know how Cameron created my two favourite films of all time. I'm sure God had something to do with it. Id like to thank him but I'm far too bust watching this film to pray.
The Terminator (1984)
A merciless killing machine of a movie
There are classics and then there are classics. The Terminator has become a phenomenon, an embodiment of a ruthless killer and certainly the best robot murdering device from the future I've ever seen.
Sarah Conner is understandably upset to learn that a killer cyborg from the future has been sent back to the past (which WAS the present...I think) to kill her so she cannot give birth to the future leader of man against machine. But help is at hand in the form of Kyle Reese, a soldier also sent back to protect her from the terminator.
Thinking about it could make your head spin and it probably wont win many awards with Steven Hawkings but as an action film it delivers the goods. Arnold in his best ever role as an unthinking, unfeeling machine - just like in real life - is superb. It was the role he was artificially created to play. He wastes humans with reckless abandon, including a scene where he wipes out an entire police station to get to Connor. A scene so good it was even referenced in the second film.
The soundtrack is a huge contributer to the mood of the film and it's the darkest of the three Terminator flicks. Even if the formula was perfected in T2 : Judgement Day the first is still a cinema classic. It will make you paranoid towards all form of machinery for weeks to the extent you'll want to live in the woods in a house made from stones and parts of animals. Remember to keep your DVD though so you can watch this over and over again.
The Grudge (2004)
Some people seem to have a grudge
Against this film. I liked it. The reason why is because it succeeded as a horror film in that it really creeped me out in certain parts. That hasn't happened to me in a while.
Maybe its because I have a weakness for freaky looking Japanese girls and little kids in general. You can tell children are evil, you never know what they're thinking. Scenes in the Grudge creeped me out no matter how many times I watched them and I pride myself on being immune to scares nowadays. Many have complained the already slim plot meanders all over the place to the extent the film becomes too disjointed and hard to follow. I didn't find that myself. It was a simple story and was told very well and very effectively.
The story being that a house in which a double murder and a suicide took place now carries a curse which is fatal to all who come across it. It stars Sarah Michelle Gellar who has been weaned of the stakes and has taken up nursing when she moves to Japan to be with her boyfriend. Her first assignment is to take care of an old lady living in the cursed house. The rest is film history.
Because there is very little plot and back story the film relies on its set pieces to deliver. And thankfully they do. Shiver as you hear the choked gargling sound of the mother ghost, squirm at the high pitched cat meowing of the little boy, laugh as a stupid blonde American woman tries to hide from the ghost IN HER BED. That bit was brilliant.
One for scary movie fans who just want to be scared plain and simple. Just don't watch while in bed. You'll know what I mean.
The Ring (2002)
Confirming what we all knew - VHS is evil
The Ring follows the story of a journalist ,who, while investigating the death of her niece stumbles across a cursed video which kills its viewers in seven days.
The Ring is based on a series of Japanese books which in turn were translated to film in Hideo Nakata's original film "Ring". Sometimes its impossible to talk about either film - the Japanese version or the US remake without comparing them such is the division of opinion. Taking The Ring on its own merits though it is a chilling and seriously creepy film.
However if you have watched the Japanese version then some parts of the Ring will frustrate you. Such as the insistence US film makers have you holding your hand and explaining everything to you every step of the way. What ever happened to less is more? A big reason why Ring was so scary is that you knew next to nothing about the female apparition Sadako and this lent her an air of mystery. Here in The Ring we see her as a little girl sitting up and talking in bed. Not very scary. Also the main part - the video itself is just too well done in the US Ring. It looks more like a student art house film then a manifestation of evil. The Japanese version was darker, dirtier and plain freakier. As was the music.
Don't get me wrong. The US Ring is still a fantastic horror film which improves on the Japanese version is some areas - just not overall. because of that its kind of impossible to say which was actually better. I personally prefer the original for the reasons I listed, but each to their own.
After promising myself I wouldn't spend this comment comparing the two its obvious I need to go punish myself in some way. Perhaps I'll rent Halloween 3 again.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Nightmarish - at the time
The first and best of the Nightmare on Elm Street series.
The children of Elm Street are being murdered in their dreams by serial child killer Fred Kreuger. Nightmare is quite a surreal film. When I first watched it years ago it was hard to tell what was real and what wasn't. This added to the terror. Its not so frightening today but it still holds up very well especially against its dire clones and sequels.
The reason why the first Nightmare is far superior to its sequels is that it plays to its strenghts. Freddy is a horror character not a comedian. Here he plays the classic bogeyman - a symbol of terror and not the lovable wish cracking anti hero of subsequent films. Not just in the way he acts but also in the way he looks. Freddys makeup in this film is pretty horrible - but in a good way. We can see he has been badly burnt and can see strips of flesh hanging from his face if you look hard enough. Its dirty, slimy and unpleasant. In other films its obvious its a mask. And a pretty clean one at that.
This one also has all the classic scenes. The claw appearing above the bed, the teenager being slashed in mid air, Johnny Depp getting sucked into his bed and turned into a fountain of blood. Its nice to know a set back like that didn't stop him from furthering a successful movie career. The ending falls a bit flat with Freddy being bashed with hammers and set on fire like in a Tom and Gerry cartoon but its easy to look past it, especially to the final scene where again you don't know if its real or not.
Speaking of that final scene I'm almost sure I seen a different ending again where it WAS a dream. Or maybe I was dreaming myself.
Amityville 1992: It's About Time (1992)
Its about time this series died
1992 : Its About Time - and it concerns a clock. Do you see? Its clever. In a way.
What wasn't clever was basing a whole film around it. This has to be the worst film ever. Name one bad film and I guarantee you this is worse. Except maybe Halloween 3. I sometimes have nightmares about being battered to death by the extra heavy deluxe editions of these two movies tag teaming me until I'm a bloody pulp.
The film concerns a clock / lamp ....thing which was removed from the Amityville house. But , get this, its possessed! As was the toaster, the oven mitts, and the TV remote. Fortunetly for their new owners they were successfully exorcised. Unfortunately for us we have to watch the evil lampstand kill people in the attic.
This comment was meant as a warning not to watch this film or your DVD player will literally be possessed by an evil you wish you never borough into your house.
The Amityville Horror (1979)
Horrifyingly bad
From what I hear The Amityville Horror seems like the definition of a marmite film. Opinion is neatly divided into those that love it and those that hate it. I side with the latter.
Its about a haunting but at the same time isn't really about anything at all. There is no structure, no real beginning middle and end - no POINT to it basically. Its boils down to a series of set pieces which are meant to be scary. Maybe the film is so subdued because its supposedly based on true events. I say supposedly because its obvious to anyone who has read into it that it was an obvious hoax. If the Lutz's story had any more holes in it you could use it as a soup strainer. And if you are in the habit of making stuff up then at least go whole hog and make something remotely scary. Beardy men chopping wood and evil pigs (yes pig) are not scary. Neither is someone tampering with your front door. That just makes you want to install a burglar alarm not consult your bible.
However the most annoying thing about it is that it had such great potential. That was one seriously creepy house. The shot of it standing there in the dark with those quarter moon shaped windows looking like eyes alone demanded a better film. Thankfully this years remake sounds like it is a far better film and does the haunted house justice.
Don't even get me started on that sequel with the lamp stand....
Event Horizon (1997)
Irony
The irony being that Paul Anderson having done so many video game to movie translations (Resident Evil, Alien vs Predator) has probably delivered the best movie of Doom that will ever be made. And it isn't even Doom.
Doom is a classic video game about man using super technology to meddle with things best left alone. Portals are opened which spew satanic hordes creating an interesting mix of the technological and the arcane. The Doom movie out this summer looks to have dropped that bit entirely, instead relying on a run of the mill "people infected by virus" excuse for all the killing. The essence of that clash though is still here in the criminally underrated Event Horizon.
In Event Horizon a spaceship (of the same name) is finally found after having disappeared for several years. It seems it was conducting experiments in faster then light travel - using wormholes to travel huge distances instantly. However it may have traveled to a place no one us would dare to go. And brought back something with it...
Event Horizon is a creepy horror film that doesn't rely on a CGI monster revelation at the end to get it scares. The ship itself is shaped like a cross and is itself a Gothic labyrinth. I have to confess I didn't know much about this film until I watched it thinking it was a run of the mill sci fi movie. The tension builds slowly and effectively and it has a terrific ending. The mix of hellish imagery and futuristic sci fi is a fascinating clash for me personally which is why I found myself loving this film.
Paul Anderson gets a lot of stick, but don't let that put you off watching this. I've even liked Resident Evil (because I loved the videogames) and Alien vs Predator. So you can see I have a penchant for liking films which have been critically raped. Event Horizon hasn't been put through the grinder as much as the previous films but I feel it still gets unnecessary criticism, a lot of it needless "I don't need to watch it! Its Paul Anderson!" type stuff.
I still hate Soldier mind you.
Alien (1979)
Absolutely shocking
When watching this for the first time I think was the most scared I have ever been in my life.
Alien is just beyond masterpiece. It drips with homicidal genius from each cell. It intrigues you and scares you in equal measure. You want to find out more about this thing which haunts space yet at the same time you're too scared to venture that far.
Like a lot of the old classics Alien takes a while to set its scene. Its about half way through the film that the alien finally starts its attack. But its not boring. The atmosphere cuts through the your bone. The lighting and music lull you into a constant state of dread. Even when the coast seems clear you know that something isn't quite right.
Purists will rate Alien as the best of the series. Personally I prefer Camerons Aliens but there isn't much in it. The reason I like Aliens is the all out war between the marines and the aliens. Its fine bumping off a bunch of mechanics but lets see what this species can really do....
Alien is a haunted house film in space. If I'd known there were haunted houses like that on earth Id never sleep again.
Wrong Turn (2003)
Typical redneck documentary
Wrong Turn is a fun but not outstanding addition to the redneck eats people genre. A guy is stuck in a traffic jam and decides to take a short cut through some woods were he crashes into a bunch of sexy young teens. Why these guys are so lucky to ALWAYS run into sexy young teens when all I ever crash into are ugly old bints in Fiat Puntos I don't know.
From then on its run through the forest and get picked off by Billy Joe's bow time. Like I said its nothing ground breaking but at the same time it still manages to be fun and highly watchable. Maybe its just because of Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Some of the deaths are quite good too. Strangled with barbed wire, getting half your head chopped off while in the tree top and your body falls to the ground with the top half of your head still nestled on the axe? Don't mind if I do.
I haven't seen Deliverance yet but apparently the cast of this film have (there is always a film buff among the sexy young teens in these films). If you liked that I assume you'll like this too, even if it was made with the MTV generation in mind. Sexy young teens and all.
Blood from the Mummy's Tomb (1971)
This mummy should have stayed buried
Dire.
I don't know why Hammer horror films are regarded in such great esteem. Sure some were great but the majority, of which this is one, were rubbish. In todays light they are more cartons then horrifying. You have to give credit though for trying.
Blood from the Mummies Tomb is about a "Queen of Darkness" who was killed (?) by some priests in ancient Egypt by slicing off her hand containing a Magic Ring (tm). Cut to present and she has been reincarnated in the body of the daughter of the archaeologist who excavated her tomb. Its another tale of ancient evil guy / gal come to life when the planets align and its a clichéd as you can get.
My major gripe with it (aside from not being remotely scary or even interesting) is the behaviour of the lead girl. One minute she is good "Yes father we must stop the princess" then she talks to another guy "No don't listen to him! lets be evil instead!"...."Oh alright then". She keeps yo yoing back and forth you never know what the hell is going on.
Blood does have some redeeming qualities though. This film should be watched for Valerie Leon's cleavage alone.
From Hell (2001)
Real life Ripped off
From Hell takes a genuine theory about the identity of Jack the Ripper and dramatises it. We follow opium addicted inspector Abberline played by Johnny Depp as he tried to discover exactly who is stalking Londons East End. It had better not be Phil Mitchell again.
The film is stylishly shot and really brings grimy victorian London to life. The story is interesting and well known. However the film is just far too long. I felt it would be far better and more gripping had it been a good half an hour shorter. It was littered with useless scenes which dragged on leaving you bored as much as you tried to get into the story. It was like the director just couldn't make up his mind what to cut and said to hell with it.
The character of Jack the Ripper needing a carriage driver to get around London (with no one noticing a huge black carriage at every murder scene) reduced the impact of the character. He just didn't feel as evil or as vile when you knew without his lackey he'd be waiting for the bus like the rest of us.
Just a few niggles like this prevents me from giving it my highest scores. It had potential to be a fantastic murder mystery but instead ends up too long winded for its own good. As a result is not a film you would like to see too many times.
Don't Look Down (1998)
They should ALL have jumped
Don't Look Down starts off with two sisters being photographed on the edge of a huge drop. You know what will happen next, and the same can be said for the rest of the film.
Some parts were eerie when you felt if might have a supernatural cause to it but the big finale was a complete cop out. A Saturday evening "thriller" in the vein of Murder She Wrote disguised as a Wes Craven horror film. Don't be fooled. I was bored throughout most of it and even a little bit angry at the end.
The guy from Beverly Hills 90210 is in this for crying out loud.
This is a terrible film which makes you wish the entire production team had fallen off that cliff.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
"Dude, that goalie was ******* about something"
I wasn't expecting much from FvJ. I haven't watched that many of the previous Elm St or Friday films but I still expected a entertaining hour and a half's viewing. And thats exactly what I got. No more, no less.
The plot starts off suitably ridiculous. Freddy is trapped in hell because the residents of Elm Street have covered up his very existence. All those kids with knowledge of Freddy are locked up in a mental home and drugged to stop them dreaming. As a consequence Freddy has lost his power to instill fear in sexy young teenagers. Now free to do whatever they like without being slashed for the first time in four years (is that all it takes to forget about someone who murdered half the town?) they have taken to pass the time with sex, drugs, sex, skinny dipping in lakes in the middle of the night and more sex. So Freddy devises a plan to release Jason to kill a few people who will mistake to murders for Freddy to raise the fear level a notch or two allowing him to return. Why he has to power to raise other people but not himself is never explained. But Jason starts killing everyone in his path and soon there will be none left for the Fredster. And he isn't happy about it.........
You've heard the acting is terrible, the duologue atrocious and the CGI laughable. Its all true. Katherine Isabelle (from Ginger Snaps) is here, she doesn't last very long but she was still a highlight, in a typical stupid teenager in a horror film way. "My boyfriend has just been killed by a maniac last night who is still on the lose but sure I'll go to a party tonight". Did she not watch Scream? How the group put together the laughably outlandish (but true of course) theory that Freddy brought back Jason to kill people raised a giggle. A guy who killed people in their dreams brought back an immortal serial killer who drowned to kill people to give him back his power! Of course! And don't even get me started on the fight sequences which looked like they were ripped from a Playstation game.
But for all its faults FvJ brought out the 7 year old Saturday morning cartoon fan in me. This isn't a horror film. Its a gift to fans and novelty, not something to be taken seriously. FvJ knows this from the start and plays to it perfectly.