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Halloween Ends (2022)
Welcome to a Change
Bound to be a future cult classic, Halloween Ends amps up the ante by going completely out of the box in the best way possible. While the other two films in this trilogy are far more focused on Michael, this film seems to pick up the pieces thereafter and become more of a focused character study that I just found to be far more fascinating. The writing is phenomenal, heartbreaking, and incredibly personal. Every performer puts their absolute all into every single scene and it's truly a spectacle unlike any before, and I praise it for taking a chance to be so unique. It's so tempting to stick to the same formula for so many times, especially when it's been so much easier to do so for so long, but i'm honestly so glad to see something so different like this film stand out. It may piss some people off, just even solely for the fact that it's a different type of film, and was not quite marketed the way it turned out to be. But for people willing to give this one a chance, you are in for such an amazing ride- and I really hope you enjoy it. The film is incredibly brutal and violent, but also so personal. It's so much different than what we have seen from these films before and allows us to delve into the mind of a killer rather than just watching violent act after violent act. There is a slow crawl to insanity that we see linger inside their mind, and it's just utterly fascinating to watch, and I hope its attention to detail and gripping resolution will eventually be appreciated in days to come. In many ways, this film reminds me of Halloween III Season of the Witch. A very different film from the previous ones, one that sticks out, and was frowned upon for the most part on release, but I hope like that film it will earn the cult status it so deserves and earn the attention of people who look for quality in a horror film like this rather than just mindless entertainment.
My Rating: 9.5/10.
Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (2022)
Mind-numbingly awful
Lazy and incredibly incompetent, Hotel Transylvania 4 is at most a rather lacking sequel, and at its worse, one of the worst animated films i've ever seen. Although very different and very spread out in time, both Hotel Transylvania and Ice Age played a part in my upbringing and were both films I really enjoyed. Now to see both franchises turn over in their grave with a straight to streaming sequel with half done animation and lacking original stars is quite an odd coincidence- especially for a single year in animation- but nevertheless, somehow, 2022 was able to make this mistake twice. Although Hotel Transylvania 4 may not have been quite as horrible as the most recent Ice Age installment- it still bares its head as an absolutely shameful piece of filmmaking. Its animation is crude and under finished, its voice acting is incredibly forced- with no one seeming to have a decent time, and its story is repetitive and lacking any heart or charm like the last films. Heck, I didn't even like 2 or 3, but I would take them anyday over this trainwreck- at least they kinda tried, but this one was officially the nail on the head of the coffin- pun intended. From the fact we are repeating plotlines like Johnny not being accepted, even though that was cleared up literally in the FIRST FILM, just proves they have completely ran out of ideas- and the fact that even Sandler didn't even wanna star in this one in honestly saying something. That guy never backs down a shitty movie. In the end, Hotel Transylvania 4 is at best a waste of time, and at its worst- a total loss of human comprehension and brain cells that i'm honestly even surprised exists.
My Rating: 1/10.
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018)
Bummer Summer
Finally digging its own grave, Hotel Transylvania 3 never quite finds its stride and manages to be nothing more than yet another forgettable and unnecessary sequel. Honestly, I don't understand what prompted Sony to make 4 of these for any reason other than sweet sweet Money. There is absolutely nothing left to milk this franchise for, and it's disheartening to see that 6 years after the original- which in the world of animation is far too much for their to already be 3 feature length films. This one adds nothing to the plot, adding more unnecessary characters and plot lines only to provide some sort of new idea to carry along this films plot- for which otherwise is truly nonexistent. There are a few mildly funny moments throughout, I enjoyed the fact that the wolf parents were overjoyed to not deal with children and the dog that says one phrase for no apparent reason- but outside of that, most of the jokes just prove to be rather stale and it hurts to see these characters so strained and actors try so hard to give their characters anything they have left. Everything about this film just feels like its so forced with absolutely no payoff, like they were giving their all to nothing, and it just feels so shallow it's a bit hard to sit through at times. The animation is fine, but again it's overly cartoons nature feels repetitive and bland and seems to contradict the style of the first film entirely- not to mention the tone of the film itself- just like the last film. Its entertaining enough and it has a few sweet moments, but it's ending had me rolling my eyes and waiting desperately for the credits to roll. In the end, Hotel Transylvania 3 is a disappointment at best. A shallow and meaningless sequel with no purpose. It has its moments, but you would be better watching nearly any other 3rd franchise installment of a competing company rather than what Sony has had to offer here.
My Rating: 3.1/10.
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
Hocus Pocus yet again
Not being a huge fan of the original, i was very apprehensive about going into this one, but found it to be surprisingly pleasant. Now, Hocus Pocus 2 doesn't break any new ground- nor does it provide as much rich atmosphere or spooky vibes like the original- but it does have its moments. What Hocus Pocus relies on and ultimately succeeds act, is the chemistry of the Sanderson sisters on screen. They alone make the film worth watching, as well as the rest of the cast who are more than up to the challenge. Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najiy all step back into their roles with no sign of change or wear whatsoever- it's incredibly fitting to see these gals not only back in place as their infamous characters but to do it so nonchalantly. The script isn't anything great, certainly nothing to write home about. Its heroes are about as forgettable and predictable as the last time around, with a few minor improvements. However, the film does still manage to be pretty dang entertaining given its somewhat short subject matter, and it even managed to earn a few chuckles out of me here and there. In the end, Hocus Pocus 2 may not be anything we haven't seen before but it does manage to be a solid ride and well earned return for the Sanderson sisters.
My Rating: 5.6/10.
Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015)
An Average Animated Sequel
A mess in many regards, but still charming at times, Hotel Transylvania 2 may try too hard to live up to the original films premise- but it does prove to be an entertaining flick nevertheless. I wasn't a huge fan of this one to be fair, which is a shame because given its potential it could have easily been as much fun as the original. The writing just feels so much lazier this time around, from the constant attempts to remain relevant to modern audiences with modern music and pop culture references- it feels so much more dated than the last film. The animation feels really well done in some aspects, but in others it feels overly cartoonish- which is hard to say given it is animated, but it doesn't fit the style or tone carried throughout certain moments, and certainly not of the last film. The voice acting was all well done, a few jokes were bad but some were pretty funny. Hell even some moments were a bit sweet and cute, although hardly as touching as the last film. In the end, Hotel Transylvania is a subpar sequel that has its decent moments. Its entertaining enough to be enjoyable but if you are in need of an animated monster fix I would suggest films like Paranorman or even the original for better enjoyment.
My Rating: 5.2/10.
Goosebumps (2015)
Coulda been better, coulda been worse
Although its hardly as groundbreaking or intriguing as the books it may be based on, Goosebumps does just enough to please audience members and fans of the series alike. Goosebumps (2015) is a very entertaining film, I had no problem sitting down shutting off my brain and enjoying it until the end, but it can also play it a little too safe. So much about this film just feels like it has been done before, from its main character, its apocalypse kind of events, and the mistake that causes it all. It truly is just the most simple baseline product of a script this film could have been. The visuals are nice, but never speak out too much. I of course enjoyed Jack Black as the infamous R. L. Stein and i found the rest of the actors to do a decent job as well. The CGI can be a bit overdone at times, but some of the effects are pretty neat to look at- specifically Slappy, the giant Mantis, and a few other fun ones. Thankfully the film never takes itself too seriously, it could have easily been one of those films where it was so bad it was funny, but there is enough cheeky humor going on to know that the camp was intended and it feels justified and amusing enough to squeak by. In the end, Goosebumps is a bit bland, but hardly a bad little kids flick, and a fun getaway horror film for younger audiences alike.
My Rating: 5.8/10.
The Munsters (2022)
An amusing little treat for the Halloween season
Although it can be rather messy at times, The Munsters (2022) is just campy and upbeat enough to make for a fun flick. I love everything about the look of thi film, it just screams late 50's/ early 60's matinee. From its gorgeous gothic imagery, incredible costume and set design, to cheeky camera angles and gorgeous cinematography- The Munsters best quality is definitely its incredible sense of style and atmosphere. Where the film lacks can be in a few different areas, but mostly editing. The film does feel sloppily put together, which is a shame because everything else seems so well put together. Sure the script is pretty basic and even quite corny, but it's done in a way that feels endearing- like catching an old sitcom on satellite television. The jokes are cheesy and there is just so much camp to be had with it, so I can understand some distaste for the film for that, but not nearly enough for it to be as hated upon as it seems to be right now. I for one have always despised Rob Zombie as a director, finding his remakes of the first two Halloween films to be disgraceful and his infamous films like House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects to be in incredibly poor taste as well. This film feels much more in the spirit of films Zombie has done like 31, which I actually had an okay time watching, and found it entertaining enough to be amused. It's hardly perfect entertainment, and in terms of content it's certainly different, but they both have an endearing slapstick nature to them that just works if you turn your brain off for a bit. Sure this films a mess, but it does have charm, something many horror films continue to forget about today in the wake of remakes, reboots, and rebootquels. The cast is fun for this one as well, with Sheri Moon Zombie actually providing a decent lead performance, along with Jeff Daniel Phillips as Herman Munster who does an excellent job and some fun casting in smaller parts as well. In the end, The Munsters doesn't nearly deserve the hate it has received. It's far from a good movie, but manages to be fun in all the right places, and with it being a film based upon a classic sitcom, I feel it hits all the notes it needs to.
My Rating: 6.7/10.
Hotel Transylvania (2012)
Cute little flick
Starting out rather generic, but soon turning into a rather sweet and goofy little romp- Hotel Transylvania is a pleasant enough little animated flick that may not get everything right, but does just enough to satisfy. Of course I remember enjoying this film as a kid, but I had no idea why. I hardly remembered anything about this one in particular, rather the lazy sequels that are and were far more advertised than this one. But thankfully, only a little bit of that can be seen here, and it's mostly within the films setup- a rather bland and predictable little set of events which eventually lead into our plot and a much better film altogether. Of course the film has some predictable moments, its script is still a bit formulaic, but it's entertaining enough to be enjoyable- not to mention it's often funny nature and fun animation style. I'm even surprised to say that this film tugged at my heartstrings a little, providing some rather sweet and touching moments that had me tearing up a bit- which is a little shameful to say- but true nevertheless. It just feels like a really fun time, from its stacked voice cast and exuberant animation style- and its constant tongue and cheek humor that more often than not really works. Hell, even Sandler actually gave a good performance as Dracula this time around, not to mention Selena Gomez as Mavis, and my personal favorite- Andy Samberg as Johnny. In the end, Hotel Transylvania may not be the best animated flick to come out of Sony Pictures animation but it is a charming and fun little flick that does just enough to stand out among the many monster themed exploits for kids this Halloween season.
My Rating: 7.3/10.
Pearl (2022)
An X-cellent sequel
With absolutely stunning cinematography and a powerhouse performance from Mia Goth- director Ti West continues to improve upon his formula in the X trilogy with his latest and so far best installment. I have to say I was running late to see this one, so I did miss about a minute at the very beginning. Nevertheless, what I did see impressed me just enough to leave a mark. Pearl is a very different film than X and a very different film than the trailer led to believe. It's a slow descent into madness that allows you to emphasize with the character in extraordinary new ways- not to mention the level of depth we are able to take into the mind of the titular character herself. Goth's performance is electric, and without it I feel the whole film would quite nearly fall apart. Everything in this film is relying on her, and yet Goth does so flawlessly it's hard to even notice. Between the extended monologue, the racing complexities, and he violent and sometimes rather unflattering scenes- Goth delivers on all fronts- especially through West and his tight woven script. The cinematography is absolutely outstanding, carrying a very retro vibe as the last film, but with a much different tone and a very different style. This time we are treated to more of a roaring 20's aesthetic- fit with a classic film vibe that is just so gorgeous to look at- it's hard to even take your eyes off the screen. Of course there are a few flaws here and there, there are a few familiar elements to this story, and a lot of predictable ones. If you are willing to shut off your brain and just enjoy though I think it's certainly worth the trip to the theater and is certainly an enjoying ride.
My Rating: 8.3/10.
The Flintstones (1994)
Entertaining but quite shallow
The start of many live action adaptations of infamous cartoons from many peoples childhood- The Flintstones never proves to be as much as a success as it thinks it is- but does prove to be worth some campy enjoyment. Now let's get this straight, The Flintstones (1994) is an absolute mess. Between its cliche ridden script, and it following about a dozen different generic formulas at once- its overcrowded and generic nature can unfortunately get the best of it. However, there are still moments to salvage from this flick- despite its often rough interior. Visually, this film is a marvel, and perhaps one of the best visual adaptations of a cartoon i've seen in recent memory. The look of Bedrock is so well done, not to mention the costumes, the casting, and the effects from Jim Henson's creature shop. Of course I could do without the dated CGI, which to be fair was probably great for its time- but dreadfully obvious now, and Ms. O'Donnell as Betty Rubble who is sheepishly the worst actor on screen at any given moment (yeah sorry, you don't get any defense Rosie). I enjoyed seeing John Goodman and Rick Moranis take the lead as the iconic best friend duo we have come to love, and although it's far from perfect, I thought they were both solid fun choices for the roles at hand. We also have Twin Peaks star Kyle MacLachlan as the films antagonist- who did give it his all, but the character was in all honesty the most forgettable villain i've seen in a while- not to mention the incredibly dated overlysexual character of Sharon Stone- played by Halle Berry- who does give it some charm but oh my god has that not aged well. In the end, The Flintstones is a watchable effort, despite what some may say. It has good moments throughout and a clever way of bringing the cartoon to life, but it's script is too lacking to stand out amongst so many other great Family films which would be far better to watch instead.
My Rating: 4.8/10.
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
Sadly the worst of the Thor series
Having been a fan of all the Thor films prior- it really hurt to see how muddled, messy, and just completely useless this film ended up to be. What was the point of fridging Jane Foster? You took the effort and brought her back, just for her to be killed? Seriously? This film also just had so much going on it was hard to keep track, between Thor, Valkyrie, Korg, Zeus, Gorr, we are expected to be excited about so many little things showing up on screen and yet almost every single one of them feel incredibly underwhelming. The visuals prove to be nice at times, but that can also come and go- with the scenery being a visual marvel and some other CGI looking like it came out of 2007 or earlier. As someone who gave Marvel a pass for their lacking CGI in so many projects lately, it's frustrating to see them keep making the same mistakes over and over and now attributing far lazier stories as well. The script for this film is just a mess, none of the jokes really land, and it really only serves as filler for yet another continuation of Marvels next great lineup. There is no heart, despite how much it tries, and even the actors at hand seem to be putting far less into their iconic characters. The only one I can really shine light on is Bale, who always brings his most to every role he portrays. His character can be undermined by the lacking script , but the first few minutes of the movie with Bale is far better than anything else the film sadly has to offer. In the end, Thor Love and Thunder misses the mark. It's just a tired and sorry excuse for a film, especially when there is so much content produced just like it. It's not all hopeless, but for the most part-it's a forgettable blunder that only offers some visual and light remarks- and is far better left for dead.
My Rating: 4.4/10.
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2002)
Horse: The Movie
With an original and unique idea, but very little follow through, Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron sadly ends up being a waste of potential. Early Dreamworks Animation is something a lot of people don't talk about, especially when it comes to films like Spirit. Most younger audiences today will have no recognition of the film and even for those it was made for in its time, it never quite managed to pick up the audience that films like Shrek, Madagascar, or even Shark Tale did around the same time. Spirit mirrors Sinbad Legend of the Seven Seas as yet another forgettable Dreamworks movie, not necessarily bad but largely forgotten. I really wanted to like this movie, I tried very hard to do so. To be fair, there are a lot of elements I did like- the animation is gorgeous, the relationship between Spirit and Little Creek was very well done, and the score was pretty solid. On the flip side of things though, there is sadly far more to complain about. I love the premise for a film like this being that we have main characters who don't talk, but the narration of the character story just feels so intrusive of that premise, and incredibly awkward and corny to say the least. Speaking of corny, let's talk about the horrible original songs from Bryan Adams, because oh my god do they take you out of the film and into the sad and lonely basement of a middle aged dad. What were they thinking with those songs? They aren't even fun to listen to ironically. The pacing for the film is also pretty scattered, it does manage to have some interesting moments, and I like how honest and vulnerable it is showing the abuse and mistreatment of animals at this time- especially from all the old west folks, but nearly every one of those scenes ends up in a forced action sequence which is as corny as you could expect. I don't know, I like the central ideas of this film, but like its pacing, the movie just feels all over the place. You can tell they put their heart into it, but given the ideas at hand, I feel it would have been much better executed if ii were reshaped and reformatted a little bit. Instead, this feels more like a first draft. In the end, Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron never overcomes its mediocrity enough to stand out even after its failed initial start and sadly becomes yet another mostly forgettable animated blunder from the early 2000's.
My Rating: 4.4/10.
Chicken Run (2000)
Circus birds and chicken pot pies
Entertaining and well animated, Chicken Run never strays too far from the farm but does nage to be yet another enjoyable flick from Aardman. I feel the biggest problem of this film is, ironically, playing it safe. Everything just feels very tame, nothing ever reaches outside casual animated film limits and there is never a true uniqueness that lets this film stand on its own. Of course the stop motion animation is impressive, but of course never near as colorful or unique as Nightmare Before Christmas, it voice cast does a great job- but none ever truly remark as a certain character. Nevertheless I was never bored throughout, its plot although predictable, was rather entertaining and there was a few chuckles to be had here and there. It truly does feel like a product of its time, an early but important work for both Dreamworks and Aardman animation- with much bigger things on the horizon. There is nothing wrong with this film necessarily, but it never quite flies as high as it potentially could- not nearly as high as its later films, even with Wallace and Gromit only 5 years later. In the end, Chicken Run is a tame but fun little ride that gets its job done. It isn't one I would rewatch or watch as often as other films, but it is a solid little flick and certainly earns its mark among other stop motion classics.
My Rating: 6.5/10.
The Road to El Dorado (2000)
Underrated Delight
With a sensational animation style and brilliant performances, The Road to El Dorado charms its way into glory by easily being one of the most fun movies i've seen in quite awhile. First off, any company challenging Disney at their own game let alone their signature 2D animation style has usually had no luck at ever capturing that same Disney magic- but with El Dorado I say it succeeds tenfold. Not only is the animation breathtaking and colorful, but every single frame is just so well done. You can see the heart and soul put into creating this film, and not even just in the animated sense. The characters of Miguel and Tulio are about one of the most charismatic duos i've seen in a film like this in a long time, and I couldn't take my eyes off the screen due to their incredible charm and fun personalities. Not only that, but they were also brilliantly voiced by Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh who just give so much spirit to the role it's hard not to admire it. Rosie Perez also does a fantastic job in her role voicing Chel, who is just about the most gorgeous female character i've ever seen in an animated film. I'm not simping, you are. The music is also quite good, with a soundtrack composed by the great Elton John. It may not have as many familiar songs as The Lion King, but it stands strong in its own right. The pacing is just so well done, you can admire how entertaining it is even if some flaws feel rather predictable and formulaic along the way. We have familiar tropes here and there, but in the end, The Road to El Dorado is as charming as a film can be- and easily deserves more praise than it received on release. Its colorful and imaginative and completely earns its spot among fellow 2D animated films.
My Rating: 8.6/10.
The Bad Guys (2022)
Surprisingly clever
Although it does have a few familiar and or lacking moments, The Bad Guys surprised the hell out of me through its incredible charm and swagger- not to mention its gorgeous animation style and highly entertaining antics. To be honest, when I first saw the trailer for this film all that time ago- I thought it would be nothing but another miss for Dreamworks Animation- which saddened me because the iconic company known for Shrek, Madagascar, Kung Fu Panda, and How to Train Your Dragon has hardly had the same luck it used to with its animated properties in terms of film quality- with mediocre turns coming right and left with films like The Boss Baby, Trolls, and Abominable. What I love most about this company though is its diversity- not only in storytelling, but also in animation style, humor, and characters- and thankfully- The Bad Guys hits all 3 notes perfectly. First off, the casting for this film is just impeccable. Sam Rockwell as Wolf and Marc Maron as Snake are just some of the most perfect casting for an animated film i've seen since Dreamworks own Kung Fu Panda. Not only do Rockwell and Maron carry the script to a sly and charming success- but their performances cement the film in its finest moments. The other performers also do a fabulous job, including Zazie Beetz, Alex Borstein, Awkwafina, and Richard Ayoade- finishing off a rather stacked cast for an animated film with many other superstars and thankfully not just for the heck of it. The animation style is fantastic, and I was a bit hesitant from the trailers as well, but as I got to see it in full form rather than just clips- it was shockingly sooth and oddly fit the style and atmosphere of the film itself. It's so incredibly entertaining and fun that you will be willing to forgive some predictable plot points here and there and just soak in the fun times. It also proves to be rather sweet towards the end, which I always enjoy- and I never felt like one moment of its emotion was forced or unjustified which is shamefully present in too many films today obviously attempting to copy Pixar. In the end, The Bad Guys is a terrific time that definitely deserved better treatment than what it got at the box office. It's the most vibrant and clever animated flick in a long time and is easily one of the best animated films of the year so far.
My Rating: 8.6/10.
Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil (2011)
This time, we were Hoodwinked
Almost as stupid as its title suggests, Hoodwinked Too is a disappointing and sloppy sequel made far too late and still far too cheaply. Although the animation industry has changed and blossomed throughout the last decade with stunning and gorgeous artwork- there are still films even released today that struggle to find quality animated artists. This continues to be the case with this film, as it was with the first one thanks to Kanbar animation and the Weinstein company's overly cheap production proceedings. The original Hoodwinked was far from perfect, and had some truly hideous animation, though thankfully it was able to entertain many people and audiences everywhere thanks to its subversive humor, wonderful performances, and well crafted story. Hoodwinked Too has all the flaws of the original, without any of the payoff. The animation, although better than the original, is so distractingly bad that it hurts to watch at times. I can understand the failure of animation for the first film- considering CGI was still a relatively new process in 2005, but in 2011? Seriously, it looks like a sloppy 2006 animated film at best. It has a few chuckles here and there, but the plot is horrendously tedious and all over the place. Besides the incredibly forced references to the previous films and pop culture, the film just doesn't have any charm whatsoever. Every little bit feels so forced, so juvenile, and so predictable it's discouraging to see what was done to these characters just for a buck. Not to mention Anne Hathaway and Jim Belushi not even returning to their roles, in an odd and obvious fashion they are replaced by the likes of Hayden Panettiere and Martin Short. Peneterrie does a mediocre job at best, and Martin Short is dreadfully overdone as the Woodsman character- and i'm honestly ashamed to mention how much I missed hearing Belushi's voice in this one. The film stars some new voices in addition to a few returning characters, including Bill Hader and Amy Poehler who do put their all into their performances but also give it WAY too much- and their characters are [possibly the most dreadfully annoying antagonists i've seen in some time. Patrick Warburton returning as the Wolf seems to be the only saving grace about the film, and his iconic voice and performance does actually add up to some entertaining and even humorous moments, but sadly nothing to save this film in the long run. In the end, Hoodwinked Too is a sloppy and forgettable sequel that is as painfully drab as its animation. It's sad to see a fun underrated film like Hoodwinked be squandered by its sequel, and I truly wish they would have left this poor film alone.
My Rating: 2.7/10.
Men (2022)
A Haunting demise into the mind of the troubled and abused
Although it definitely has a slower start, Men unleashes terror in a way few films ever dare to try- and thankfully- succeeds at it. I am honestly surprised by all the negative reviews surrounding this film, as it is honestly one of the most unique, heartbreaking, disgusting, and terrifying films of the year. A lot of other reviewers comment on writer and director Garland's overly-direct symbolism and its attempts of complying to women as an excuse to say it knows what it is doing. But I never felt any of that watching this film, not really. Sure, men in the film can be portrayed in a way that is perceived as a harmful threat to women but I never felt it was trying to poke at being sympathetic nor the opposite. Nor was it trying to say look how terrible men are because i'm a man and I understand women. Instead, it feels far more human. Instead to me, it feels much more like an inner battle between our lead character, played brilliantly by Jessie Buckley, and her own inner demons personified by the entity played by Rory Kinnear. Both do a fantastic job, and it feels messy in just the best way possible. Never mixing up themes, but rather conveying thoughts, worries, and fears in a way that feels not only relatable but traumatizing. Like we are deeply inside of someones head. The special effects are phenomenal, and the cinematography is absolutely gorgeous. Definitely one of the best looking films i've seen all year. Its score is haunting and mesorizing, and every moment of the film as it carries on feels like its sucking you deeper in a whole of its own self loathing. Its pacing can be a bit slow in the beginning, and it may take some time to pick up some traction- but once it gets rolling it never stops- and it's honestly one of the creepiest films i've seen in a while- an atmosphere and vision that is just perfectly crafted by Garland. In the end, Men never felt too abrasive nor obvious to me. Instead it develops its themes in a way that is obviously terrifying and escalates on the anxieties and fears of another to build upon the growing trauma in our characters mind. I can understand why it may not be for everyone, but with someone who has had to overcome and still deals with trauma from past abuse- i can't imagine a better way to capture a story like this.
My Rating: 9.4/10.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
it really was everything everywhere all at once
I'm gonna be honest here and say I was disappointed that I didn't absolutely LOVE this movie like so many other reviewers- but I hope through my explanation you can see why. Is this a bad film? Oh, absolutely not. It's incredibly charming and delightful at times, and even very meaningful- and made me cry towards the end. Where my problem lies with this film though is through its messaging. There are some basic flaws to be had with this one, it can be predictable at times, its pacing can kinda drag, and there are quite a few cliche moments here and there- but most of them feel insignificant enough to ignore and enjoy the incredibly bizarre atmosphere and story this film is trying to tell. Its overall meaning though feels a bit squired, and feels very mixed in my mind. I know it means well, but I can't help but feel it doesn't do enough to satisfy me. All this time they are dealing between the relationship of the mother and the daughter, and still as the film comes to an end we see the mother nitpicking and not changing. She seems willing to change, but then does nothing in the end to resolve these facts and it just feels a bit too messy to ignore. Not only that, but the fact that just because the mom loves the daughter is an excuse for her to keep hurting her- is not okay, and I feel kind of hurt that a lot of that goes unresolved and the tone seems to pick up where the story has no right to let off. If you can get past that, the film is enjoyable. It definitely feels otherworldly, and has a very unique feel. It's easily a very originally made film, with some familiar elements, and visually it is also quite beautiful to watch and see unfold. The acting is incredible and I love how detailed and full of life each little character is, never shining away from darker elements, even if it means not fully settling things. It has some missteps here and there for me, and I can't ignore certain aspects of it- but in the end, Everything Everywhere All at Once does deliver on its promise enough to be enjoyable and is certainly a memorable watch.
My Rating: 7.3/10.
They/Them (2022)
Don't listen to all the hate, watch it yourself
I am so glad to see more and more mainstream queer horror flicks make the rounds in the last few years. The whole concept of this fil intrigued me, not just from a queer perspective, or a queer horror perspective- but the fact that we can see something like this as big as it was advertised so thoroughly and with such a great cast. Not to mention, more and more people get to understand and experience the threat, misogyny, and bigotry brought on with these conversion camps- as its something that still unfortunately plagues our youth today. As a film, this film could honestly be quite a mess. I was disappointed in the fact that it never was really able to find and stick with a consistent tone- and its plot was kind of all over the place. I can definitely see with so many main characters how hard it would be to balance the few out- and on some level I can see why director and writer Logan chose the direction he did go with this- but something just feels so incredibly clunky about it- especially in certain scenes. Oddly enough, I don't feel like this film needed a slasher character. Sure, I love and enjoy slashers as much as the next person- but it just feels rather out of place at times in contrast to what else is going on- and honestly none of those moments are ever as intimating, thrilling, or even interesting as the horror brought on with the camp itself and the characters initiating it. The actors do a pretty good job, I enjoyed lead Theo Germaine but honestly found myself much more interested with other plotlines throughout- as we never really get any depth into Germain's character and they are really just a mysterious sort of archetype that's never truly developed. Quei Tann was by far my favorite of the performers, doing an excellent job in both terms of representation and just pure range of acting ability shown with her supporting character status on screen. Austin Crute seemed a little out of his element in terms of acting, which was honestly a shame because his personality can speak through in his performance and I truly wish he could have found a better perspective in his role. The film itself was honestly very entertaining to watch, I never felt bored and was always interested in what would happen next, even if it could be unstable at times. In the end, They/Them is a mediocre horror film with some excellent ideas. It succeeds in entertainment value, but not much else, and although can be quite of a mess- does prove to be enjoyable more often than not.
My Rating: 6.2/10.
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)
Painful
A shallow and irritating experience all the way through, Aliens vs. Predator Requiem somehow doubles down on the terrible moments of the last film to make for the worst entry in either franchise and easily one of the worst films i've ever seen. I'm honestly trying to think of a single salvageable moment throughout this disaster, but i'm honestly coming up short. Just nothing works in this movie whatsoever, whether it's the shotty action, the lame special effects, the horrendous cinematography, the often unbearable acting, or the incredibly messy script. The dialogue is so forced and generic, it almost feels like it was written by a bot, and the film is just so hard to look at at times- not just for how ugly and boring it all is- but also because it's just hard to see. How can you take two of the coolest characters in all of film- and make them fight each other in the dark? They might as well have been eating spaghetti! The story is also just all over the place, with tons of random characters that end up serving no purpose whatsoever until much later on- and even then they prove to be still pointless, or incredibly filler and uninteresting. In the end, Alien vs. Predator Requiem is a frustrating film at best. It puts no effort into delivering a decent story for its characters and gives me too many things to gripe about to even ironically enjoy.
My Rating: 1/10.
Prey (2022)
Predator or Prey
An ambitious and incredibly well made little flick- Prey picks the Predator franchise off its feet with this delightfully original prequel. First off, the action in this film was phenomenal. Not only was the kills so incredibly well choreographed, but none of it was choppy whatsoever and it was just so fun to watch. The cinematography is incredibly unique and absolutely fantastic- fit with a beautiful nature landscape that takes the franchise back to its roots. The cast is also phenomenal- with Amber Midthunder (an awesome name by the way) absolutely killing it as the lead- and easily becoming one of my favorite female leads in an action flick. Supporting actors Dakota Beaver as the leads brother, and of course Dane DiLiegro playing the Predator himself both do a fantastic job as well with Beaver serving as a strong mentor figure for our lead throughout and DiLiegro easily being the best fit actor to play the Predator since the original. And speaking of that, the look of the predator in this one is just so disturbing in the best way possible- fit with overly gratuitous features but not all gross and slimy like the alien vs. Predator films. Not to mention the weapons and the mask, the ladder of which took a more skull design this time and I was all for it. The pacing does start off a little slow, and the story takes a while to kick in, but once it does man is it a fun and exciting ride. Everything is so well crafted and so detailed, it truly has no business being as good as it was. There is also a small easter egg nod to Predator 2 which I was anticipating because of the time but did not expect they would actually go through with. In the end, Prey does a fantastic job of rebooting the Predator franchise. It may have not needed to be made, but it's easily the best film in the franchise since the original and I am very fortunate we were able to see a film like this still today.
My Rating: 8.6/10.
AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Not as bad as I remember, but still quite a stinker
Lacking any intelligence or tension held from previous entries, Alien vs. Predator is mostly a full on dud, with a handful of interesting moments. There are a lot of problems I have with this film, starting with of course the fact that the aliens are somehow on Earth despite not being discovered for like another 100 years or so. Like I get that they could have been here before, but it just feels so forced and illogical- it's hard to ignore. The action scenes are cut down tremendously in this entry as well, because for whatever reason Fox thought it would be a good idea to give a PG-13 rating to a spinoff of 2 R-rated franchises. Never before was there a PG-13 entry, and never thereafter- so the only question that prompts me is why? It's not worth it either, less violence just led them to try and gross out the film as much as possible. I don't think anyone in existence ever thought these films needed more slime or watching the birthing process for the aliens- I mean seriously? You took all the charm out of these ideas! That all being said, the beginning wasn't half bad- ironically though neither the alien or the predator play a part in that. Sure the setup is generic and predictable but at least it was entertaining and it provided enough to prove to be more than just filler- although ultimately that's what these characters became anyway. The special effects are really well done for the most part, and i'm honestly impressed at the technical achievements this film could manage in 2004- when things come out today that don't look half as good. It has some interesting concepts and worldbuilding here and there, but ultimately it just seems rather forgettable and a rather jagged missed opportunity. In the end, Alien vs. Predator suffers from poor execution and lack of what made these films great in the first place. The magic is lost, please let these poor creatures rest.
My Rating: 3.3/10.
The Predator (2018)
Could of been better, could of been worse
Stupid and juvenile but also rather entertaining and quite fun- The Predator is not a very good movie- nor a solid starting point to reboot a franchise- but it is a fun popcorn flick. There's nothing really significant I can say this film does, the visuals are really nice- I enjoyed the cinematography but the CGI Predator interactions can feel a bit fake at times and prove to be noticeable. I wasn't a huge fan of all the military praise but the cast did a really good job regardless and did prove to have some fun on-screen chemistry. Olivia Munn's character was literally useless, which is a shame because that girl really does not get a break. First X-Men Apocalypse then this, she truly became the queen of unnecessary female characters in Fox films. I enjoy the storyline even if it was rather thin. The dynamics between the characters, the predators, and the government make for some rather entertaining antics- and Black's directing style seems to fit perfectly with the films rather sadistic sense of humor. The last 20 minutes or so did kinda seem to drag on, but all the other fight scenes were really well done and gave us some of the coolest predator moments in the franchise- especially the lab fight and school scenes. In the end, The Predator doesn't do much to make it stand out- but is a solid watch nevertheless and more often than not was a fun watch.
My Rating: 6.2/10.
Predators (2010)
Solid action sequel- much better than 2
A violent and bold return to form for the franchise- Predators takes many elements from the original along with Alien vs. Predator to make for quite an enjoyable if uneven little ride. Sadly there are several flaws and problems I had with this film, but thankfully I did really enjoy it nevertheless. The pacing can be an issue at times, and at others the film can be rather predictable or just plain silly. What makes up for these scenes you ask? Well besides the incredible and often graphic fight scenes throughout- the look of this film is just so hauntingly beautiful to watch. It takes the vibes from the first film and scenery and escalate it to an extraordinary amount. I love the look of the new predator costumes, weapons, and other foes- as well as the alien ships we see and several nods as well to the Alien franchise. There's an overall feeling of claustrophobia at times, which certainly isn't as present as it was within the original- but you certainly can feel it at times throughout and it certainly is charming. The actors all give it their all, but none really stuck out among the others for me. The characters all feel like rather average archetypes and though it was enjoyable enough to watch on screen- it certainly doesn't provide anything memorable like Schwarzenegger once did for the franchise. In the end, Predators may be inferior when compared to the original, but it easily knocks 2 out of the water. It has its problems here and there but for the most part makes for a solid action romp that gives us some of the best moments of this characters world.
My Rating: 7.1/10.
Predator 2 (1990)
Okay, but still disappointing compared to the original
A much different change of pace and tone from its predecessor- Predator 2 tries to do something more original than simply taking working elements from beforehand into an unnecessary sequel- but still seems to fall somewhat short of the first ones quality. Although Predator has never been as close to my heart as films like Terminator 2 or Die Hard- it was still a very solid sci-fi action flick and is easily one of the biggest films of the 1980's. I've always found it to be very enjoyable, from its all star cast, its jungle setting, and amazing practical effects- it felt like something we hadn't quite seen before. Fast forward 3 years to Predator 2 an obvious cash grab that does anything but the obvious. I have to say, I enjoyed this one much more than I was anticipating- and it certainly wasn't anything I expected. The film completely ditches its military plotline from the first film in favor of the L. A. police squad and their run-ins with gangs and how they mysteriously end up getting killed. It is certainly an interesting concept, and really does have its moments. Danny Glover was an entertaining lead, and I enjoyed the likes of Bill Paxton (Aliens, Apollo 13) as well. The script kinda seemed all over the place, never finding a certain task to focus on and instead rummaging through ideas in rather haphazard fashion. The special effects are really good, even better than the first perhaps, and I really enjoyed the set design as well. As for the tension and atmosphere, thats the films biggest flaw- as the last 40 minutes or so does seem to be a bit of a snooze. The pacing can just slow to a crawl at times, which is disappointing because watching it I certainly felt I should be a lot more excited than I was. In the end, Predator 2 is a fine sequel that tries to do something different. It doesn't do much for me, and has many flaws, but certainly is an improvement over a lot of other sequels in this time period and certainly could have been a whole lot worse.
My Rating: 6.1/10.