Change Your Image
kmichaelpm
Reviews
Bulletproof (2018)
SEASON 2...A COMPLETE FARCE
I rarely bother to review a tv series, but Bulletproof Season 2 is so bad I felt obligated to warn others to protect their mental health and save their time.
The acting is poor with over-acting common throughout. The script is so bad that the writer(s) need professional help. The amount of time the two main actors spend talking in the middle of dangerous situations such as gunfights is just laughable.
This season has done irreperable damage to British police shows, which are usually very good.
Avoid this at all costs.
Another Life (2019)
Do Not Listen to the Negative Reviews
The negative reviews here and on other review sites are hard to fathom.
It seems that every series is now being compared to the blockbusters and not being viewed on their own merits.
No...this is not a blockboster.
No...this is not one of the best series ever.
Then I do not believe it was evr intended to be. It is a very entertaining sci-fi series, which delivers.
Yes, the acting could be better, but that can be said of most stuff released in the last few years.
Yes, there are some bad plot holes, but again, this can be said of most stuff released in the last few years.
As an avid Sci-fi fan, let me tell you that this is definitely a series worth your time.
In particular it is an ideal binge series, as it sucks you in and makes you eager to see the result.
Do yourself a favour and ignore the negative hype and enjoy it on it's own merits.
The Dawnseeker (2018)
SERIOUSLY!!!....The Worst movie Ever
Firstly....I think User ayushkumar222111
should be banned from IMDB for the blantantly misleading review they submitted.
Disgraceful.
Just when you think you have seen the worst movie ever....THIS comes along.
It is by far the worst movie ever made.
The acting...non-existent
The script...Beyond bad
The FX... Could not be worse
The Continuity....What continuity??
There really should be a mental health warning with this movie.
Alien: Covenant (2017)
A Covenant between Bankers and Hollywood to Fleece the Public
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WASTE GOOD MONEY ON THIS UTTER RUBBISH.
Another rip-off designed to make a few richer and steal two hours from movie-goers lives.
The entire movie is shot in the dark...the use of shaky cam is diabolical and the speed at which scenes change is mind boggling.
All this combines to ensure that you will have no clue what is going on.
There is no point in commenting on the acting, as it would be impossible for any actor to perform under this direction and production.
You will not forgive yourself for wasting your precious life on this absolute rubbish.
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)
Most Unwatchable Movie of All Time Award
I have watched every movie in this franchise and loved them. Therefore I really looked forward to this final movie of the series. After my long wait I am presented with this completely Unwatchable rubbish.
I cannot even comment on the acting/story etc...because I have no idea what they were like, due to being unable to make sense of it.
I cannot understand why the director/editor decided to use a format that jumped around scenes at such a pace as to make it impossible to follow. This was not a shaky camera situation but a deliberate decision to to film in the dark....then to jump back and forth in the action scenes at such a pace that it was like watching the scene in fast forward.
I do not know why the bothered to spend so much money to obviously make great sets and action scenes only to then make them unwatchable with this incredibly bad directing/editing.
It is the most disappointing end to a franchise ever. It could have been a classic with the right director/editor.
DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME AND MONEY ON THIS. YOU WILL REGRET IT.
The Perfect Weapon (2016)
Cinematic Equivalent of Malware/Viruses
No danger of any accidental spoilers here....this absolute rubbish so called movie is a spoiler from start to finish.
The most absurd part of it is that the actors seem to be reading from cue cards and are operating under some strange rule that says that they must all speak at the same speed..ie.. so many words per minute.
As for story/plot/directing/dialogue etc....the kindest thing I can do is to make no comment.
Steven Segal made some decent movies in his early days....then disappeared from the scene only to re-emerge and pollute our screens with incredible rubbish. Additionally this self professed health fanatic returned as an obese man just to add insult to injury. Obviously he decided that there are enough gullible cinema goers out there to enable him to simply take their money, by pumping out the worst garbage possible, every chance he gets. There really should be some kind of law protecting the public from this kind of abuse.
Additionally, I think that these so called movies are Segals only chance to get his hands on young vulnerable women in naked and semi-naked states without the risk of being arrested.
Having said all that.....I strongly recommend that you get hold of a free copy of this so called movie (do not spend any money) and pass it along to as many people as possible with the condition that they also pass it on to as many people as possible. That way....having watched it, people will never again run the risk of watching another Segal movie which may have the same effect as antivirus/antimalware software, and prevent the release of any more of this rubbish
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
A Very Sad Disappointment & Proof of the Power of Marketing
As an absolute fan of Star Wars...I had been looking forward to this from the day Disney announced it would produce a further trilogy. I genuinely did not think it would be possible to make a bad Star Wars movie, given the history and endless plot line possibilities.....well....despite the odds they managed to screw it up.
It really is a remake of the first Star Wars movies....the Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader saga was simply reversed for this one....so not much work needed there. The acting was stilted and very sub-par. Harrison Ford (Han Solo) and Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) were like puppets on strings and really showed their age..it was sad to watch.
The story was all over the place and really had a thrown together feel. There was simply nothing to get attached to. In fact it was impossible to figure out who was the main character, as the plot was chaotic.
The action was a mirror of the action in the early movies (which was great),,,,but this time around the abundant use of the shaky cam and light speed scene changes took all the entertainment value away.
This movie will make ton's of money no doubt....because die hard fans will go to see it regardless and the newer generation will be coerced by all the hype.
Sadly, however, it will destroy the legacy of a truly great franchise and also the mega-star status of some of the original actors.
An absolute shame to see a classic die so horribly at the hands of studio butchers.
The Hateful Eight (2015)
Absolute Masterpiece
At a time when American cinema appears to be intent on producing rubbish, Tarantino saves the day, by doing what he does best. Making great movies.
I sincerely hope that this brilliant movie will both embarrass and inspire the rest of the so called Producers/Writers/Directors and Actors, to up their game and follow Tarantino's lead.
With this offering he has once again set the bat very high, but has also shown that American cinema can be saved.
If you do not watch another movie this year or next, be sure that you do not miss this one.
You will be well rewarded for your time and effort.
I will not even comment on the acting/production/story etc... as there just is no way to do it justice. I will simply say that absolutely everything about this movie is beyond brilliant.
It is the must see movie of recent times.....Enjoy!!
Agent X (2015)
There Should Be A Law Against This Sort Of Rubbish
Having watched episode one and finding it hard to forgive myself for wasting my time and probably shortening my lifespan.
I forced myself to endure episode two in order to confirm that it was actually as bad as I expected it to be and that episode one was not a bad nightmare I experienced.
There now seems to be no doubt, that American series makers are either completely brain dead and or simply do not care what rubbish they produce as long as it can be sold to the unsuspecting public and they can take our hard earned cash.
There is absolutely no story/plot.
The acting is beyond atrocious. Sharon Stone has not done herself any favour by being a part of this farce.
As for the other so called actors....better not to comment as the English language does not have the words to describe how bad they are.
This is truly the most pathetic offering I have seen in a very...very long time. The producers should be ashamed.
Please avoid this absolute rubbish at all costs. You will not forgive yourself if you watch it.
Fantastic Four (2015)
Do Not Listen To Negative Critics
I nearly did not look at this movie after listening to the negative critics. However having seen some positive reviews I decided to go with my gut and have a look.
I am very glad that I did. This is a good modern twist on the ever resurrected original, and will definitely appeal to the younger moviegoer. I saw nothing whatsoever wrong with the acting, bearing in mind that they are not mega stars. I really thought they did a fine job.
The script was what was required for this movie, and the cinematography and effects were excellent. The action is continuous and well paced.
If they do make a sequel or a TV series, I for one would be delighted. In fact this is quite a good family movie. The kids will definitely enjoy it.
Do yourself a favour and go watch it. You will not be disappointed.
Checkmate (2015)
WARNING!!...Do Not Touch
This rubbish is so bad that I was not going to write a review, as I did not think I would be able to put how bad it is into words.
However, I felt that it was important to warm my fellow humans, and so decided to try.
If I said that a bunch of schoolchildren could do better, I would be insulting all schoolchildren everywhere.
If you compared this rubbish to the first day of an acting school course, you would expect that the lecturer would have gone out the back and committed suicide half way through, just to avoid the second half. 80% of the dialogue consists of the word f#ck....and all it's derivatives.
Not only is there no story, but what there is is so confusing as to be a health hazard. Do not even look for acting. It simply is non existent. Please, do not be duped by the inclusion of Danny Glover and Vinnie Jones. At this point, moviegoers must accept that if either one or both of them are in a movie that it is a very good reason to avoid it at all costs. They are not even trying to hide the fact anymore that they are simply selling their names to absolute rubbish, and are quite happy to walk away with a fat cheque, and could not give a damn about their fans. It is truly sad.
Please....please...do not be tempted to spend hard earned cash on this tripe, just so these idiots can laugh all the way to the bank. You will never forgive yourself for wasting precious time and money on the worst trash ever to hit the screen.
Spy (2015)
Absolutely Brilliant
Just when I had given up on Hollywood ever producing a decent movie again...they surprise me with this gem.
The negative critics must be devoid of any sense of humour.
It is extremely well directed, with great script and great action.
The acting is brilliant,particularly from Melissa McCarthy.
The stunts and effects are both brilliant and hilarious.
The comedy is superb, especially in the second half of the movie. It has been a long time since I laughed so much at a movie. Do yourself a favour and go see this movie.
You will not be disappointed.
Jurassic World (2015)
How to Turn Gold to Lead
I can understand why this drivel is receiving good reviews. Simply put, the movie company waited until enough time passed and a new generation is the focus of their marketing. Not only is the storyline a complete copy of the original Jurassic Park, but even with all the developments in technology since the original, they still managed to screw it up and present a mediocre offering. All I can say is that I hope the new generation go to the trouble of viewing the original Jurassic Park, so that they can see what an utter load of rubbish this so called movie actually is. It seems the buck reigns supreme in Hollywood and any attempt to improve on the original just simply does not exist. They want your money, and quality or value is not a concern. By all means watch this rubbish, but please do yourself a favour, and watch the original as well, just so you can see how little interest Hollywood has in your enjoyment. Simply put, it is an awful movie, piggybacking on the back of a classic.
Subconscious (2015)
Mental Health WARNING
I really am at the point of despair with regard to the American movie industry. It seems to have decided that anything can now be considered a movie. I fear that unless something changes soon, that it will no longer be a world leader in the movie industry. There is no danger of writing a spoiler for this so called movie, as to do so I would have to force my brain to re-live it, and I am not that brave. No story, no script, no acting, no continuity, no effort to even attempt to honour the laws of physics. If this movie was a medicine, it would be banned in every country of the world. PLEASE...PLEASE...do not waste your time and money on what is without question the worst movie in recent memory.
Taken 3 (2014)
Cruel Torture of the Viewing Public
I cannot express how disappointed I am with Liam Neeson for allowing himself to be involved with this utter garbage. I sincerely hope the money makes it easier for him to sleep at night. The story is so basic as to be laughable. The script would be an insult to any kindergarten drama. The continuity was so bad, that at times it was hard to remember which movie you are watching. He had so many escapes that could have only been achieved by magic. Obviously the director decided that it was not necessary for this movie to make any sense. Even when he (Liam Neeson) cleared his name, he should have still been locked up for life for all the innocent motorists he killed in a major pileup he caused on the motorway while trying to escape, and for blowing up a college campus. How this movie has a 6.3 rating, defies the imagination. If this is a genuine rating from the real viewing public, then maybe they deserve having to watch this rubbish as punishment for encouraging it. If you have any respect for your intelligence and mental health...STAY FAR AWAY FROM THIS SO CALLED MOVIE.
Scorpion (2014)
Mindbogglingy Bad
How this has a 7.4 rating should be a severe warning that all is not well with the ratings system. The creators of this farce must have paid an awful lot of idiots to give it a good rating, because I can guarantee that no normal human being would have given it more than a 1. To say it is an insult to even the mildly sentient people is an understatement. I never imagined that TV producers would become so desperate for a dollar that they would even contemplate something as bad as this. It should never have gotten past the receptionist. I sincerely hope that the victims -(as it would be an insult to everyone to call them actors)- have some other skills, because if ever something was going to destroy an acting career...then this is it. The producers obviously decided that it was not necessary to have even a modicom of fact when it came to technical terms and must have also decided that reality is just a funny word people use and is not actually a real term. Do yourself a favour and stay as far away from this utter rubbish as possible. It will only upset and insult you.
Belle (2013)
Excellent Movie- Hollywood Take Note
What an absolute pleasure it was to watch this movie. A credit to the UK movie industry. Hollywood should take serious note and learn a valuable lesson on real movie making, as opposed to the rubbish they have churned out for the past couple of years. The acting was faultless. The dialogue was perfect. The story was great. The sets were perfect. All this on a small budget. It proves that what is required to make good movies is good actors and a good director, and not big budgets and loads of cgi. I highly recommend this movie. It will be time well spent. I hope that Hollywood will take serious notice and make this movie required watching for their directors.
Katherine of Alexandria (2014)
A Blight on the UK Movie Industry
Katherine of Alexandria also titled Decline of an Empire...is definitely in line for the title of one of the worst movies ever. Do not be drawn in by the big name stars, Peter O'Toole and Edward Fox, as it becomes obvious very quickly that they are there to lure the unsuspecting movie goer into a false sense of expectation. As great as they are as actors, even their abilities cannot save this disgraceful offering. In fact I am surprised that Peter O'Toole did not take his payment and then get his lawyers to obtain an injunction to prevent the release of this so called movie on the grounds that it will be a blot on a distinguished career. The story,-for the want of a better word- is all over the place. It feels as if the director had numerous different versions in his head and got them all mixed up. The way it jumps from scene to scene is mind boggling, be prepared to be very confused. The acting is non-existent,,,the dialogue is atrocious...the use of the shaky cam for the action scenes confirms that this Hollywood disease has arrived in the UK. The little pieces of the action scenes which you can actually see are unbelievably bad. Indeed a bunch of kids playing at war would have done a more realistic job. The props are rubbish and the constant music score in the background will have your teeth on edge. The very sad part of this disaster is that it could have been a great movie with the right director and script writers. I hope that director Michael Redwood will take up a different career for his own sake and for our sakes. The one redeeming factor in this debacle is the exceptional performance by Nicole Keniheart in the title role. She made the part her own and despite all the obstacles gave a really wonderful rendering. I hope we see a lot more of her. Unless you have two hours to spare and feel the need to punish yourself for past sins...I strongly recommend that you stay far away from this offering.
Sabotage (2014)
How This Brutally Awful Movie Was Made
Arnie:"Hey David, I am bored and was wondering if you fancy making a movie David Ayer: "I am kinda busy watching the grass grow, did you try any other directors." Arnie: "Tried them all but their phones were all switched off" David Ayer: "Damn, forgot to do that. OK I will make a movie with you. What have you got in mind." Arnie: "Duh!...I was hoping you would have some ideas." David: "Ok, just round up some actors and I will get Skip Woods to write a story." He should be able to throw something together in about an hour." Arnie: "Great."
A couple of weeks later.
David:" Arnie, I got the footage you sent me. It is almost 3 hours long and I cannot make any sense of it." Arnie: "Oh Yeah!...sorry about that. The Actors seemed to be stoned and drunk most of the time and we kinda lost track of things. I suppose that means the movie is screwed." David: "No problem. I will cut the crap out of it and make some kinda movie from it. All the blood and guts and shooting should help. The story or the acting is irrelevant. The morons who go to movies will watch anything if it has a few star names attached. Anyway, it is no worse than most of the utter crap coming out of Hollywood the past few years. I am sure we will make a bundle before the public realise how bad it is. We can always get some of our buddies to write good reviews. That always seems to work." Arnie: "Thanks.....gotta go....time for my meds." David: "Yeah!...me too."
THE END
Note: Save your sanity, your money and your family, and stay far away from this brutally bad movie. It is seriously bad. Note 2: I had some time off and decided to relax and catch up on some movies. I will never take time off again. I am considering therapy to undo the possible mental damage this so called movie may have done to my poor brain.
Ancient Impossible (2014)
Should Have a (Mental) Health Warning
I do not believe the English language has the words to describe the brain numbing boredom of this program. We have gotten used to documentaries repeating statements/facts....but this offering has taken it to a whole new level. Not satisfied with making the viewer feel like an idiot by repeating everything a couple of times...they decided that people are so dense or forgetful that they repeat EVERYTHING over and over and over and overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... In other words they take about 15 minutes of useful viewing and stretch it out to a soul destroying 60 minutes. Additionally, they show experiments performed by people who should never be allowed near anything more dangerous than a rubber spoon. They show a guy proving whether a steam cannon will work, and the idiot is standing right next to the pressure vessel which is sitting in a blazing fire...and there is absolutely no protection should something go wrong...and that is just one example. They then test the steam cannon on a derelict boat where they declare they are pushing the limits of safety by taking the pressure higher....guess what...yep, he is standing right next to it without even gloves or coveralls. He then fires the cannon manually, and succeeds in moving it all over the place, making it very obvious that the shot would miss the boat...however the scene changes and not only does he hit the boat but the boat explodes...amazing...considering he supposedly fired a five pound metal ball which even though it was magnezium would not explode. Now if you run the sequence in slow motion you can clearly see that the projectile which penetrates the wooden boat hull is in fact a cylinder and not the original ball...I am all for theatrics, but this is blatant bulls**t in a documentary which is supposed to have some scientific/historical value.....WARNING...do not allow your kids to watch this dangerous rubbish. As for the adults....if you watch this documentary, you will probably require resuscitation afterwards...and you will forever regret the missing 60 minutes of your life.
Road to Paloma (2014)
Save Your Time and Money- A New Level of Boring
Seriously...ignore the story line description. It must have been written for some other movie. This movie is incredibly boring. It got a 2 because of the nice scenery....and believe me, it takes up a huge chunk of the movie. It was more akin to a travel documentary than a movie. Jason Somoa would be better off sticking to playing good roles in good movies/TV series. There is almost no dialogue. The entire thing could have been done in 15 minutes, and it may have had some entertainment value. I cannot comment on the acting as there is so little of it. The story is all over the place and has little content. Simply put it is just a very boring dissatisfying piece of cinema.
Season of the Witch (2011)
A Reasonable Movie Unfairly Criticised
Firstly let me stress that I have no connection to the movie industry, which any of my other reviews will show. I was almost convinced by the negative reviews and so put off watching this movie. However, I am glad to say that my belief in Ron Pearlman and to a lesser degree in Nicholas Cage, prompted me to give it a chance. It was a good decision. Now, this movie is not one of the best, but neither is it anywhere near as bad as some of the reviews would have you believe. Compared to the rubbish coming out of Hollywood in recent years, it is definitely in the pretty good category. If you want a good entertaining movie with decent acting, a decent script and a decent plot, then you will enjoy this. Definitely worth a couple of hours in front of the TV, with some popcorn and a drink of choice.
Ironclad: Battle for Blood (2014)
UK Movie Makers Infected with Hollywood Disease
The last hope for the embattled movie-goer has been destroyed with the release of this so-called movie. British movies have up to now not been plagued by the Hollywood disease of bad directors, bad dialogue, bad acting, and use of the shaky camera for action scenes. Sadly, either the makers of this movie imported one of the useless crop of Hollywood directors or else they succumbed to the new Hollywood practices, which have seen the quality of Hollywood movies plunge. This movie is beyond bad. The acting is diabolical. The dialogue is criminally bad. The plot is all over the place. The sets are a joke and the massive overuse of the shaky cam for action scenes would actually make you dizzy. In fact in some scenes the shaky cam continues even when the action has stopped. I wonder if the producers even watched this rubbish before they released it. If they did, then they have no consciences. I strongly advise all sane movie goers to avoid this so called movie at all costs, and I sincerely hope that this is not the future of British movies.
Godzilla (2014)
So Pathetic: Where Have All The Decent Directors Gone
How did this drivel get a 7+ rating. It boggles the mind. Are there no Directors/Producers left in Hollywood, who have enough confidence in their abilities, to make a movie where you can actually see what is happening, rather than staging the movie almost entirely in the dark and relying on the poor paying movie-goers imagination to make the movie work. Also the use of the now apparently obligatory shaky action cam, makes this movie an exercise in guesswork on the part of the misfortunates watching (I use that word loosely) it. Are we to never again be able to go to a movie where we can actually see what is happening....ie..a movie shot in daylight with a steady camera..close-ups of the critical scenes...with actors who actually have to act and a storyline that stands on its own merit, rather than being cloaked in darkness and shaky action cam. Save your cash and avoid this movie like the plague.
Pride of Lions (2014)
Another Hollywood Scam
I am absolutely stunned, that anyone would have the conceit to market this rubbish. It would appear that Hollywood have decided that it is easier to make money running scams than actually producing quality products. I watched this so called movie because of the cast. Sadly it seems all the former great actors (actresses) have decided to forgo their reputations for a quick buck. They obviously care nothing for their fans or for the public at large. There is absolutely nothing positive to be said about this farce. Save yourself the pain and simply send your hard earned money to the producer. At least that way you may lose your money, but will not put yourself through the pain and insult of wasting your time watching the worst rubbish possible. If you feel the urge to watch this, I suggest you play with fire-ants until the urge wears off. It would be more entertaining.