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Reviews
Degrassi Goes Hollywood (2009)
Great!
I loved this movie. Hey, it's not Gone With The Wind, but it's good old fashion entertainment with lots of music and romance. I just love a good soap opera, and trust me, Degrassi is the best soap around. Must admit with some others here that Cassie Steele and Mike Lobel steal the film. These two are raising new stars and I'm sure Hollywood will be seeing a lot of them in the future. There are sparks between the two and they sure do fly. Lots of the shows favorites pop up for this one: Marco (excellent as usual), Paige, Emma, Spinner, Holly-J, Mia, Elie, and Craig just to name a few. Flimsy storyline, but lots of great one-liners, great singing (Cassie can really sing!), and enjoyable characters; even some surprise guest stars. I rate Cassie Steele and this film a 10!
Doctors' Wives (1971)
What More Could You Ask For?
Doctors' Wives turned out to be a fun evening at the movies. I mean what more could you ask for? A murder. An affair. An inter-racial relationship. A brain operation. A sex-pot who beds down 32 medical doctor interns! A sex-pot who not only beds down here husband's friends, but some of their wives as well! Drug addiction. Drunks. Sluts. Black-Mail. You name it, this movie has it. And what an all-star cast! There's even Archie Bunker running around after his ex-wife...ha..ha! For it's time it must of been shocking. People must have fainted or been delighted at all the wild going-ons. Of course by today's standards it's pretty tame, and a bit lame. But, Great fun!
Carne bollente (1987)
On The Road To Doom
John C. Holmes was no doubt a legend. He was and always will be the "King of Porn". He had it all; height (6 feet 2 inches), a slim build, a pleasant personality, and of course, his God-given physical attribute! This was one of the "King's" final films. He looked surprising fit, and did a fairly good acting performance. He had an air about him, and he seemed so relaxed and natural on the screen. However, looking back now, Holmes it seems, knew that he had AIDS and had a total lack of human feeling in the fact that he had unprotected sex with his female co-stars. According to the recent documentary on Holmes, he couldn't pass up the money for making this movie, plus he felt everyone in porn was on a road to doom anyhow. Truthfully, I was a fan of John Holmes, and wanted to like the guy. However, knowing now, what I know, it's clear that John Holmes was not a nice guy.
Elephant (2003)
Dismal and Almost a Failure
There was so much potential to have made a really great and insightful film about the causes and effects of one of the bloodiest moments in U.S. history. Yet, the film maker is nothing more then a resident in the cheap seats; watching and doing nothing else. The film avoids feeling, character development, and action. It moves in slow motion, with characters stone-faced, walking about like zombies, with no life to them. Maybe it's suppose to be symbolism, who knows. The first part of the movie is dull, listless, uninteresting, and boring. The viewer feels like they are watching a stone for almost an hour. The second half is haunting, shocking, disturbing, and very well done. Only thing, since the characters haven't been developed, the end is nothing more then a cheap thrill as one gets in watching the aftermath of a train wreck. Scenes are repeated for no reason what-so-ever: a student developing film, a nerdy girl changing during gym class, and the future gunman drinking milk. What is suppose to be artsy is nothing more then boring. It's a shame because there was so much more possible. The cast of unknowns tries their best, and the two actors playing the killers steal the show. However, this film is a major failure.
The Young Philadelphians (1959)
Out-Dated, But Great Rainy Night Entertainment
The Young Philadelpians which was made in 1959 is tame by today's standards; out-dated for sure. Yet, when it was made it was not only controversial, but very daring for it's time; dealing with homosexuality, child-birth out of wed-lock, mental illness, adultery, suicide and alcohol abuse.
Paul Newman was out-standing in the role of Anthony Judson Lawrence, a career driven lawyer, whose mother is hiding a deep dark secret. Newman is at his physical prime; handsome and lean. Everyone in this classic black and white soap opera was great. Just a really entertaining rainy night movie.
Assignment to Kill (1968)
Over-Looked Gem
Saw this 1968 Spy-Thriller with my dad in 1968 at the old Boulevard Theater on Biscayne Blvd. in Miami, Florida. One of Patrick O'Neal's better films. Made during the era of such cold war classic's as Ipcress File, Funeral in Berlin, The Spy Who Came in From the Cold, and Kremlin Letter; for some unexplained reason however, this film never really caught on. It moved at a fast pace, was well acted and well scripted, had adventure, action, romance, humor, and a stunning surprise. Patrick O'Neal did his best work in the late 1960s with Kremlin Letter, Chamber of Horrors, Castle Keep, and Assignment to Kill. Joan Hacket was a shinning light. This rates as her second best on screen performance behind the group. Her death at 49 from cancer was a shock to her fans. Yet, she and Patrick O'Neal are forever caught in time; in their prime, in Assignment to Kill. Can't wait for the DVD to come out one day.
House of Cards (1968)
Outstanding!
I saw this movie with my dad when it first came out at the now long-gone Cinema Theater on Miami Beach.
What I recall most about it was the rare beauty of Inger Stevens. What a beautiful, lovely, sexy, talented actress. It is really a sad state of affairs that her personal demons ended her life so young. I recall hearing about her death on the t.v. news and how I cried a few tears; even though I was a young child of 9.
The movie is fast-paced, exciting, well-acted, and the Paris of the 1960s is in all it's glory.
Unless this movie comes out on DVD, it will be lost to the ages. Most likely it's about forgotten, except for those lucky enough to have seen it. I even have the original movie poster of this film hanging on the wall of my apartment.
Joy in the Morning (1965)
A Joy to Watch
I saw this movie in 1965 when I was 7 years old with my dad at the Cameo Movie Theater on South Beach. I remember the beautiful theme song of this wonderfully romantic movie; "Joy....Joy...Joy in the Morning"...sent shivers down my spine. The cast is outstanding and Yvette Mimieux is beautiful. It is her finest role. Maybe some scenes are slightly out-dated in this day and age, and most likely younger film-goers might laugh slightly at some of the interactions, but the theme of falling-in-love is never out-dated.
Great acting. Great sound. Great scenery. Joy in the Morning is a timeless tale of young love. Excellent.
Where It's At (1969)
Where it's At Man!
I saw this movie in 1969 when it was first released at the Cameo Theater on South Beach, now the famous Crowbar Night-club. It was the last year of the wild 60s and this movie really hit home. It's got everything; the generation gap, the sexual revolution, the quest for success, and the conflict between following one's family "traditions" to those of seeking ones own way through life.
It was a fast paced, highly enjoyable movie. Vegas was at it's hippiest peak, Sin City in all it's glory. Beautiful women, famous cameos, laughs, conflict, romance, and even a happy ending. A very enjoyable time over all.
The poster from this film rests on my bedroom wall. I look at it and I go back in time; a time of my youth and my times with my dad, a great time in my life.
The Walls Have Eyes (1969)
You've Got To Be Kidding!!!!!
I'm a fan of cult-actor Steve Hawkes. Felt bad for him when he was burned-up in a film and his movie career ended. And even felt worse when his prize-tiger was shot and killed. However, this movie rates as his worst! It is the major pits. A stinker among stinkers. Not as classically bad as Plan 9 from Outer Space, but it gives Ed Wood's film a run for its money.
Veteran bit-actor William "Wild Bill" Henry, who acted in minor parts in over 100 or more films, looks embarrassed to be seen in this mess. At least the-majority of his other roles were in first rate movies with top flight stars. But, Henry is most remembered being associated with this complete bomb.
Sexy Jody Baby, famous for her role in Hot Pearl Snatch, looks sexy and beautiful, but the poor girl can't act a lick. She seems to be a stripper or something, and quickly vanished from the "B" movie scene in the mid-1960s; most likely married a millionaire and is living in Palm Beach.
I think that viewers should be paid to see this mess. Better yet, let them keep their money and rent a decent film.
Tarzán en la gruta del oro (1969)
Tarzan speaks Spanish!
I'm a big Tarzan fan and use to like to see all the "B" Tarzan films made during the 1960s. My two favorite actors were Mike Henry and Ron Ely. This film is the Spanish version of the King of the Jungle and stars fan-favorite Steve Hawkes. Hawkes has a nice screen personality and is built well, however, it's not enough to save this second rate or make it 3rd rate rip-off of the typical Tarzan adventure movies.
There are some nice views of the local area, and a few attractive women in supporting roles, but aside from that, the film is a bore. The dubbed version is at least bearable, yet laughable. The Spanish version is lousy, as the acting is campy and the dialog childish. I'd skip this mess and rent a vintage Tarzan film from the 1940s.
Tracks (1976)
A train ride to Hell!
I was slightly perplexed that most of the other people who commented on this classic Dennis Hopper film either didn't understand the ending, or thought the ending was stupid. It's very clear to me.
This whole film is nothing more than a symbolic train ride to hell. The 1940s World War II-era soundtrack is a backdrop for a "popular" war. A war where the entire nation banded together to serve and defend their country. Dennis Hopper's character is a baby-boomer brought up with the backdrop of World War II, a war of honor. His "war" is the complete opposite; shunned and protested. He keeps constantly playing the old time music to help him reinforce his beliefs that his service in Viet-Nam was the good and decent thing to do. The people on the train are symbols of our nation; wrapped up in every their everyday lives, totally unconcerned or pre-occupied with the war which was so far away. The ending is a brutal statement that the only way the public could come to grips with the experiences with the combat veterans was to bring the horrors of the war back home. Tracks is an out-standing, yet controversial, and highly symbolic view on the horrors of the Viet-Nam War. Seems to me that this movie couldn't be re-made today; only updating it to the war in Iraq. How sad that some 30 years later, Tracks is still not an out-dated film about the horrors of war, and the public's indifference to the suffering of the soldiers fighting over there.
The Hooked Generation (1968)
I'm Hooked!
The Hooked Generation turns out to be a surprisingly well-done "B" movie. Steve Alaimo gives a solid performance and it's really amazing that this vastly talented actor never achieved mainstream popularity in motion pictures.
Alaimo is supported by his two real-life friends former world light-heavyweight boxing champion Willie Pastrano and the legendary radio D.J. Milton "Butterball" Smith. Pastrano goes slightly over-the-top in his role here, and it doesn't rate with his solid performance as Banjo in The Wild Rebels, but he is enjoyable to watch. The scene stealer is the always pleasant Milton "Butterball" Smith. Unless you're a native of South Florida and over 40, Alaimo, Pastrano, and Smith has no meaning. However, during the 60s, the trio were among the most-famous personality on the South Florida acting, music, and boxing scenes.
The Hooked Generation is far from a masterpiece or even a good-film. However, it is entertaining enough to hold your interest. If you're from South Florida it's even more so.
Safe at Home! (1962)
Amazing! Joe Morrison's Best Film!
"Miami" Joe Morrison was Miami's number 1 leading man during the 1960s. Sadly, "Miami" Joe starred in one stinker after another. Amazingly this film, which I only rate a 5, was Joe's best. Of course, he had an uncredited role as Hank, so maybe that's why this film was his best.
The movie really is a stinker, but it is kind of neat to see a legend like Micky Mantell. The movie is just a mindless and enjoyable trip down memory lane, capturing a more innocent time for the sport of baseball as well as the local Miami, Florida landscape.
Safe at home is a safe bet for some minor entertainment and a chance to see "Miami" Joe Morrison in his best movie.
Sting of Death (1966)
Yet Another Joe Morrison Stinker!
"Miami" Joe Morrison reminds me of the old gag line, " I just can't get any respect." A good-looking guy, with a pleasant on-screen personality, yet he was saddled with one bomb after another. Locally in Miami he was a fairly popular guy in the South Beach kind of popularity. However, his films aren't much better than Ed Woods. So, if anything "Miami" Joe will always have a place in South Florida film history for starring in the worst movies ever made in Miami.
This film has a few cheesy scenes, and even a few minor laughes. I recall seeing it when it first came out at the long-gone Rio theater in downtown Miami City. I remember my dad and I laughing at all the snoring which was going on during the running of this film.
It's not "Miami" Joe's worst film, but it's far from his best either. I'd pass on the jellyfish and go out and eat a whaler at Burger King instead.
The Checkered Flag (1963)
Don't Check out, The Checkered Flag!
Yet another Joe Morrision special. Poor "Miami" Joe. He was rugged and good-looking in the mold of a Steve Alaimo, but the guy acted in the worst movies of all times. In this 10th rate stink-pot, Joe gives one of his "better" performances. Maybe, even his best, and that's not saying much.
Another "cult" actor to be seen is Charles G. Martin. Martin is best remembered as the bartender in John Wayne's final film, The Shootist. Martin has the "distinction" of shooting the Duke in the back in the movie's ending moments, thus becoming the last actor in screen history to have "Killed" the Duke on-screen.
So, if you're a fan of Martin or Morrision(sounds like a Miami Law Firm!), if that's possible, than you should see this all-time trashy film.
Racing Fever (1964)
Race away from this sinking stinker!
Racing Fever is yet another low-budget 60s stinker which was filmed in Miami-Dade County. The 60s decade marked some of the worst produced and acted films in South Florida history.
The star of this movie was south Florida "cult" acting legend Joe Morrison. Poor Joe couldn't find a winner to work in. And the fact of the matter, he was far from a Brando. However, he had rugged good looks and a boyish charm which made him a minor celebrity on the local jet-set scene.
Filmed around Miami with the racing scenes taking place at the boat-race stadium in Key Biscayne, Race Fever was nothing more than a second-rate rip-off of some of the drag race films which achieved some minor popularity among the drive-in crowd. The cast consisted of a host of unknowns, never-weres, never-to-bes, and local "Z" Miami actors.
There are only three reasons to see this film; you or a family member acted in it, you're a native of South Florida, or a fan of Joe Morrision. Aside from that, I'd forget about this one.
Hell on Wheels (1967)
Hell is Right!
This has to be the most boring, uninteresting, and stupid race car movie ever made. I mean usually in these really junky "B" films you can generally get a laugh or two out of the stupid dialog. However, in this case, there is nothing even to chuckle at.
Marty Robbins is a nice enough guy and a decent singer and from what I gather a good racer. However, his abilities are wasted and lost in this boring stinker. I was passing out from the long, drawn-out, races. I mean it's slightly "neat" in the beginning to see the old style 60s stock cars, but there's just nothing to get excited about.
Hell on Wheels is a hell to watch!
Cycle Psycho (1973)
Watching this movie will make you Psycho!
Please. You've got to be kidding. How in blue blazes did anyone put up money to produce this worthless piece of heaping, smelly, trash-bag, garbage.
I love the "B" films as much as the next person, but I'm sorry to say I couldn't find one nice thing to say about anyone or anything associated with this movie.
Between the Psycho killer and the Psycho motorcycle gang and the Psycho chicks, this whole thing is one big psycho stinker.
It's just plain boring. Not even entertaining at all. The acting was horrible. Where did they get these people, off the street corner. They aren't even up to par with a grade-school production. They stink. Can't believe that they are not ashamed to be in this "psycho" production.
I'm sorry. This film is not fun. It's not cheesy. It's not a "cult" classic. All it is I'm sorry to say, is a big waste of time. If you want to throw about 2 hours in the garbage, you're better off enjoying nature and sit under a tree and look up at the sky.
Werewolves on Wheels (1971)
Say it isn't so Billy boy!
How the mighty have fallen. I was shocked to see t.v.'s Father Knows Best, Billy Gray in this grade "Z" motorcycle gang/ horror film. Seems that the T.V. kids of the 1950s and early 60s grew up in the early 70s to become "far-out" hippie freaks. I mean this biker gang looks like it's been dropping acid for a year. They are so spaced out that they transform themselves into werewolves. This seems to be the symbolic "theme" of this film; a monster is hiding just below man's persona. Leave it to a grade "Z", "B", schlock movie to bring up just a deep meaning. Hello! I'm just joking. This movie is a howling mess. Only the camera work is out-standing, as is the "Cool" music soundtrack.
I wonder if Billy Gray even remembers making this movie. I read somewhere that a number of the hooded monks in this movie were some of Hollywoods top actors; uncredited and unseen, but laughing their heads off.
She-Devils on Wheels (1968)
She-Stinks Out the Place on Wheels
This 1960s she-gang biker flick is one word.......STINKS! This must rate as the worst acted and worst written of the long line of 1960s biker movies which packed the drive-in theaters. The cast looks like a bunch of "second-string" strippers and that includes the male cast as well.
Filmed on a shoe-string budget, any junior-high film student could do a more professional job. The special effects are terrible. The camera work is terrible. The script is terrible. The musical score is terrible. The acting is terrible. In other words, the film is terrible.
However, if you are having trouble sleeping, you can rent this movie and in a matter of minutes you will be snoozing away.
Hell's Bloody Devils (1970)
Hell is the word for it!
Hell's Bloody Devils is a real "Hell" to watch. It's really sad to see academy-award winning actor Broderick Crawford is a small role in this stink-bomb.
With a surprising cast of veteran actors such as Crawford, Kent Taylor, Scott Brady and John Carradine, you'd think that at least this movie would be watchable; it's not.
The texture of the film is terrible. The sound-track is messed up and in some scenes the actors are talking and nothing is coming out; maybe that's a good thing because the lines are so stupid and childish. I think I would only see this piece of worthless garbage if I was a fan of Broderick Crawford. Than again, I think I'd rather remember him in his hey-day in All The King's Men; how the mighty have fallen!
She-Man: A Story of Fixation (1967)
She-Man is a Freak-Man!
Bring a bottle of no-dose with you because this worthless, trashy, horrible, piece of junk, will have you snoring at the opening credits.
One of the worst Miami-filmed and produced films ever made. A hissy, gross-looking, cross-dressing weirdo forced a member of the U.S. Army to dress-up in women's underwear and act like a sissy in heat! The cast of this film looks liked it was dug up from a local "Drag-Queen" skid-row strip-club.
This film is so bad that they should pay people to sit through it! I thought I was going to pull-my-teeth-out (Brando's line!) with the lousy, stiff, wooden, acting of the actors. The transvestite was so over the top that you can't help but start laughing.
Aside from a few demented chuckles, there is nothing else to praise about this movie. Seriously, the cast is so unattractive in their roles that it makes you feel like you're viewing a carnival "Freak-Show". Once the film is over, you have to brush your teeth to get the "bad taste" out of your mouth.
She-Man is a Freak-Man! The worst movie ever-made....in Miami that is!
Devil Rider! (1970)
Trip Down Memory Lane
Devil Rider is a real stinker, unless you're a "native-born" south Floridian. Filmed around Dade County Florida in 1970, it is nothing-more than a "Z" biker flick. If you were old enough to remember, the motorcycle gang films were decent money makers in the last 1960s and this film was made in the hopes of "cashing-in" on this popularity. My guess is it didn't. I remember seeing this "turkey" at the Thunderbird Drive-in in 1970, and the only reason I saw it was because my karate instructor the legendary Johnny Pacivas had a part in the film. The weird part however, was that a local Florida girl did vanish a few-years later, never to be found again, and it was said she was abducted by an out-law biker gang. There are some decent shots of the local south Florida community during that time, and it's a big shock to see how Dade County has developed in the past 30 years. The acting is fair, the fight scenes "funky", and the over-all feel of the film is out-dated. However, if you're a native-born Floridian it's a fun trip down memory lane. If you're not, I'd skip this stinker.
The Lawyer (1970)
A Must-see for Mary Wilcox fans
The 1970 movie, The Lawyer starring cult-favorite Barry Newman is a forgotten gem. Based on the real-life Dr. Sam Sheppard murder trail, Newman plays an F.Lee Bailey type lawyer hired to defend a medical doctor convicted of murdering his beautiful wife. The wife is played by blond-bombshell Mary Wilcox. Ms.Wilcox is out-standing as the sexy-flirty spouse who winds up beaten to death by a blunt object. Her nude scene in which she lays in bed with her shirt lifted above her breasts is one of the sexiest in film-history. It's really amazing that this beautiful and talented actress never achieved stardom and was reduced to bit parts in numerous films and t.v. shows. This also rates as Barry Newman's best role, and as in the case of Ms. Wilcox, it's a shame that he never really achieved the fame he so richly deserved.