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thebumswillalwayslose
Reviews
Shoot 'Em Up (2007)
Shut 'em up!!!
Where do I begin with this film? To say that this has got to be one of the worst films I have ever seen would be too simplistic and it would be letting this film off lightly. Yes, it is one of the worst films I have ever seen, however how bad it is exactly cannot be measured by a mere passing remark.
I am a huge fan of Paul Giamatti & Clive Owen, their combined body of work is impressive to say the least, with works such as Sideways, The Illusionist and American Splendour (Giamatti) with Croupier, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead and Children of Men (Owen) to their name, this is a pedigree of some standard and to bring them together on a project has gave this film some much needed gravitas that has allowed it to have a cinema release, because believe me if this film didn't have these actors in it, it would have never seen the light of day.
I am not adverse to films of a mindless nature, believe me I have sat through films such as Deep Blue Sea and Transformers and been thoroughly entertained, they are what they are, however when you have a mindless action film that have bad set pieces terrible dialogue, even worse scripting and woeful special effects all you are left with is Shoot 'em Up.
From babies being delivered in the middle of gunfights, people having sex in the middle of gunfights, people parachuting in the middle of gunfights, gunfights in the middle of gunfights, this film is loud, clichéd, stupid and just basically a mess.
The dialogue sounds like it has been written by a 1st year film student who has been watching Lock, Stock and two Smoking Barrels on a continuous loop. The action sequences are terribly handled, feeling unrealistic, stilted and just plain rubbish. The special effects make this already bad film just feel even worse, I am aware what this film is trying to do with its tongue in cheek take on the action flick, however not to throw any money into the budget of this film (£23,000,000) has meant it doesn't even have its special effects to rely on, they make it look cheap and quite unremarkable.
Ultimately what is unfortunate about this film is that it has been able to attract two of Hollywood's brightest talents and shoe-horn them into one of the biggest piles of sh*t I have ever seen. I am sure that their careers will not suffer too much, however I feel that the paying audience have suffered enough. You watch this film at your own peril...don't say I didn't warn you.
The Prestige (2006)
Did you watch it closely?
After some of the reviews this film was receiving from the popular press i was quite reticent in going to see it, my major motivation for going was namely the direction of Christopher Nolan and the extremely accomplished acting of Christian Bale, however after i finished watching this film i was nothing but shocked, amazed and truly humbled by one of the greatest pieces of film-making i have seen in rather a long time.
I would like to start my review by saying this film is NOT and i repeat NOT about the revelation of the trick and how it was achieved. I have read some rather snooty and sniping comments levelled at this film and how they state that they saw the twist coming from a mile off....that is the point, there are enough clues throughout the film to show the spectator what is going to happen and Nolan does not hide these facts, they are there for a reason and i will not give the true reason away, all i will say is that if you know what makes Psycho and the Usual Suspects such masterpieces then you will know why The Prestige is a film of such ilk.
Not only does this film have such a strong story it also sets itself in such a believable period of time, no expense is spared on the set design, the cinematography and editing has all the hallmarks and contemporary feel of a Nolan film, however it adds a haunting and almost tangible feel of impending dread throughout. The immediacy of the film meant as a spectator i was never left flagging and i was shocked to realise that this film was 2 hours and 20 plus minutes long as it felt i had barely sat in my seat before the credits rolled at the end, such the power of this film is that it felt that i had been on a journey with the main protagonists and came out of it a different person.
My one concern of this film was the performance of Scarlett Johannsen. I am aware that she is in the film as part of the exposition, however she is that bad and her abilities are that wooden that i still sit here in amazement in how she can still get work in Hollywood, however that is just a small point and thankfully her part is limited.
In conclusion i feel that this film will be misinterpreted a lot and if you you like your twists in the Saw or Seven vein (good films that they are) then i feel that you will be left disappointed, however if you want to see a masterpiece of film technique and true grandiose themes then The Prestige will be for you, I watched it closely and i got the point...so the question is did you?
Legend of the Champions (1983)
Championing the Champions
Having watched re-runs of the champions in the early 90's i was somewhat new to the show. It has been recently revived on ITV4 in the UK, much to my unbridled pleasure!! If you have never seen this programme before it is an absolute must to see, predating programmes such as the six million dollar man/woman/dog/gerbil/etc, it was based around a trio of spies who had special powers (super strength, super speed/agility, esp) using them for the good of the world. They would get into a whole world of scrapes, battling super villains and basically looking super cool in only a way you could in the late 60's.
I have always been a champion for the TV programme's that get remade for the big screen, however with possible exceptions such as the Fugitive and the first Charlies Angels (hey it wasn't that bad!) the remake has fallen well and truly flat on its anus! what on earth did they do to the Avengers, i cried myself to sleep after seeing that pile of excrement, and don't get me started on Starsky and Hutch, face it Snoop Dogg since Suge Knight stopped producing your records it's been the road to middle class mediocrity for you with you less than average music career and your truly tragic foray into acting.
With some of these classic shows being remade in less than average toilet paper holders, i feel that it is my duty to throw The Champions hat in the ring, so come on film makers if you can cast Uma Thurman as Emma Peel and Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke (Eye Candy oh yes!!! Actress No,No,No,No,No) Why not Sienna Miller as Sharon Mcready or Keanu Reeves as Craig Stirling, they're pleasing on the eye and they can't act, so give them a chance lets remake the Champions!!!!!!! Who's with me, lets get the ball rolling!!!!!
Freeze Frame (2004)
post reality TV dystopia
I was initially drawn to this title purely to see Lee Evans in a serious role, (for those not that familiar with him, he is well known in the UK, for his hyperactive/sweaty comedy acts)and what i got was certainly not what i expected.
The story of the film revolves around Evans character, initially tried for a triple murder, the prosecution cannot convict him due to a technicality, he is subsequently released, however due to the trial and tribulations during his ordeal, he is convinced unknown forces are persecuting him, this leads him to withdraw into an extremely paranoid cycle of self analysis and suspicion. To stop a replay of being accused, he monitors himself 24 hours a day 7 days a week on digital video, keeping a vast archive of tapes monitoring his every move, however when there is a new murder connecting himself and the victim the tapes in his archive that can exonerate him have mysteriously vanished.
Evans' acting in a serious Psycho Thriller was good, very good. He gave depth to an extremely traumatised character, whereas a less physical actor would not have been able to portray what mental and physical trauma his character had gone through Evans executes the necessary actions with ease. However whilst Evans role is a sight to behold, the film itself is quite visually distinctive and asks questions rather than just relaying a story.
The post reality TV dystopia that programmes such as Big Brother and Pop Idol has littered our screens with is responsible for demonization and propaganda character assassination of the unfortunate individuals that appear on them. A well constructed edit or a sympathetic strategically placed piece of music has turned for or against the people that inhabit these programmes, without trying to paint a unbiased view of them, this is something that is continuously echoed throughout freeze frame. The crux of the story centres on the missing tapes, which can exonerate him, these are just a few hours long in context to the amount of footage he has on himself, with this important information missing it basically 'edits' an alternative story to what could be a completely different set of events.
The film does however have certain flaws to it, the actual plot and subsequent outcome of the film do stretch the imagination and at times whilst the film is visually stunning, it can overwhelm at the same time, the other actors merely operate as plot devices adding little to the whole of the film, this is Evans film and his alone, i wait in anticipation for his next serious role.
Jake and the Fatman (1987)
Strange things in the early hours
Hailing from the UK i am not that familiar with niche 80's US detective shows, so imagine my surprise whilst flicking through the various cable channels at 4am (dont ask) that i came across Jake and the Fatman.
although other people might disagree i found myself hooked on this show which for an 80's programme (reaganite politics aside) is extremely groundbreaking in a cheesy sort of way. episodes that dealt with vigilante husbands punishing random muggers due to his wife being gang-raped (something he was made to watch)years previously to an avenging cops wife shooting her husband and his partner for the miscarriage he rather violently inflicted on her in the past.
i am aware of the censorship issues that are in operation in network American TV so it is all the more refreshing and intelligent that such a programme could have dealt with these issues in (i am assuming) its prime-time slot.
if you happen to read my rather general review on Jake and the Fatman and i have piqued your interest you would not be wasting your time if you were to give it a go, so search the stations on those cold dark nights and be entertained.