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Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)
A slow-mo, cringe-fest nightmare. All style, no substance.
It is little wonder that this ended on the most derivative and unoriginal streaming service.
It is even worse than the first part. From the slow motion being over used, even in the harvesting of wheat (!!!), to the feeling that this could have perfectly been the last 15 minutes of a 90 minute movie, and not four bloody hours.
Ed Shrkein is cartoonishly evil, Sofia Boutella seems to have the range of a constipated beetroot, and Zack has seemingly relegated the writing of the script to ChatGpt.
And that ending... Zack obviously wants to keep churning more episodes of this tripe. Let's hope Crapflix sees that it is really not worth it.
3 Body Problem (2024)
It's FANTASTIC. Ignore the book readers and the "anti-diversity"
It's actually pretty brilliant. I would even go as far as to say, flawless. It's clever, well written, the acting is superb, the score is just right, and you can just tell a lot of thought went into it.
The only ones who have a problem with this masterpiece, are usual suspects: book readers who expect a faithful to the T adaptation (they could do it better, obviously), and those against diversity.
Also, the really other bad thing is, THERE IS ONLY ONE SEASON!!!
Hopefully Netflix will renews it very soon, so we don't have to wait too long to find out how this absolutely gripping story continues.
The Tourist (2022)
This is NOT Fargo. Not by a long shot. It is seemingly written and directed by AI
The first season wasn't perfect, but it was enjoyable, and should have kept it as a mini-series, but they just had to do "more".
The second season was written and directed by AI, or so it would seem, as no sane person would come up with such nonsensical plot, ridiculous dialogues and more plot holes than a sieve. You will have to do mental acrobatics and suspend your disbelief like you've never done before.
Also, me and every fan of Fargo are deeply offended by the comparisons. How dare you compare this pile of tripe to that masterpiece?
The high rating is sure the work of friends and family of the production team, no doubt about it.
Andor (2022)
Boring, padded to the max with nothing, usual SW bs side quests included
Since the day Disney bought Lucasfilm, all they have produced has been well below par. Episodes six to nine were beyond ridiculous. The Mandalorian, just a vessel to sell toys, with every episode being a bs side-quest, and never getting anywhere. Then there was the aberration, The Book of Boba Fett. I swore I was done with the SW universe. But they kept saying that this was different, that it was "grown up", "better". Well, it is just more bs, masquerading as a more serious offering. From the overinflated twelve episode season (could have easily been six episodes), filled with non-sense padding, four first episodes just an aimless bunch of nothing, to the most ridiculous of bs side quests (arrest/prison/breakout) The only good episode was six, the rest are just forgettable tripe.
It's obvious that Star Wars fanatics will eat up any old crap, and rate it 10/10. Boring, padded to the max with nothing, usual SW bs side quests included.
Speak No Evil (2022)
Just Cringe-tastic and very awkward to watch
A really uncomfortable watch that will have you rolling your eyes to the back of your head, because no matter how much suspension of disbelief you are capable of mustering, this story and all the behaviour by the parents, is impossible to believe. People with zero abilities to make a good decision, do not get to adulthood.
The movie is NOT creepy. What's creepy is that the director and writers would think the stupid and idiotic behaviours in this movie are believable.
Also the end is incredibly predictable. That is not a twist. You could see it a mile off.
Maybe it was written by an AI... sure feels like that. I refuse to believe that Danish people are that "slow" and stupid.
The Outwaters (2022)
BEYOND AWFUL
Just another "found footage" film (using this word very generously!), but you will spend this one absolutely not knowing what the hell is going on. It's just bad (worse) camera work, to try and disguise how bad it all really is. The acting is so bad, they should be banned from "acting" in any more films. As for the plot... there isn't one. So yeah, lots of noise, flashes, non-sense, and awful workmanship. Everyone involved should feel ashamed. Every other negative review is bang on the money.
Honestly one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and I have seen terrible ones. Don't waste your time, really.
Love in Country (2023)
Wooden, boring, opportunistic
What an honestly dreadful movie. An utter disappointment. The acting is atrocious. These people couldn't act to save their lives. The shoe horned in "gay" part felt gratuitous just not believable at all. The directing was also not up to par, with scenes dragging on for too long and not enough happening to keep my interest. The cgi seems to have been made by a windows 95 PC. All of these could be forgiven, if it didn't reek of hack job. Of course, all the family and friends of people involved in it, would have you believe that their 10/10 reviews are honest!
Don't waste your money or time on this god awful turkey.
Las Consecuencias (2021)
DULL
This movie is a slow and tedious experience. The plot is convoluted and difficult to follow, with wooden acting that fails to engage the audience. The pacing is sluggish, making it difficult to stay engaged with the story. The soundtrack is also forgettable, failing to add any atmosphere or emotion to the scenes.
The characters are also one-dimensional, with no depth or complexity to them. This makes it difficult to relate to them or care about their plight. The dialogue is also cliché and predictable, making it difficult to stay invested in the story.
Overall, the movie is a slow and tedious experience that fails to engage the audience. It has a forgettable soundtrack, wooden acting, and a convoluted plot that is difficult to follow. They should have invested in better sound equipment.
American Horror Story (2011)
AHS, or how to completely ruin and soil a good TV show
The first few seasons were great, then there were a couple of bad ones, then some return to form, then came season eight, which turns it into an unfunny farce, with over the top over-acting worth it of a really bad south american soap opera, trying to force suspense with a very loud and obnoxious score, and pulling shocked faces, that rather than horror, convey how insanely awkward the actors must have felt. I really tried, but by episode five, my eyes hurt of rolling back up so much and I could not take any more of this nonsense.
The problem must be the directing, because all of those actors are normally very good.
American Horror Story: The End (2018)
When did AHS turn into a farce?
All these big actors, have lost any credibility for me. How can they keep a straight face with such a ridiculous story, dialogue and farcical acting?
I felt like I was watching Sharknado all over again.
Evil (2019)
Great series, let down by four children with bad manners and poor writing.
Why, oh why, must be the four girls from hell in every episode, all loudly talking at the same time? Do the writers wish us ill-will and want us to end every episode with a headache?
And talking about the writers, what lazy writing... when they want something to happen, they just write it, without a care for the plot, and leaving a million unanswered questions, that puts the integrity of the series in doubt.
It's a pity. But still very watchable.
Better Call Saul: Breaking Bad (2022)
Nope, not a 10/10, FANBOYS!
And anyone saying this episode is 10/10 is showing themselves as a subjective fanboy. Easily the weakest episode in the whole series. Not bad at all, but pales in comparison, especially with the rest of season 6. Just because Walt & Jesse show up. Even "Nippy" was a lot better than this one. Get a grip people.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Unmitigated mess!
I knew this wasn't going to be a masterpiece, but at least, I was hoping it was mindless fun with dino's.
Nope, it's just a bloated mess of stuff happening without a real storyline. I found myself drifting and grabbing my phone, that's how boring and how little you care for the "story" and characters.
Sam Neil, Laura Dern & Jeff Goldblum must be really regretting, coming back for this husk of a movie.
Aquaman (2018)
DC's worst
First off, your by the numbers super hero movie, hardly groundbreaking. Mediocre fx, total lack of real world physics, etc
Secondly, is Amber Heard the worst actor in DC films?
If not, she is a very strong contender. All of the scenes containing her, are extremely cringy. She couldn't act to save her own life.
Sharknado (2013)
It's so bad, it's... WORSE.
Nope. It is not "so bad it's good". Cannot even be watched to have a laugh at how terrible it is. Atrocious CGI, extremely corny and awkward dialogue, barbaric editing and villainous wooden "acting".
Only watch it, to make you feel like you could have done way better, even if you are blind, deaf, limbless, never have used a computer before, and don't know what a camera is.
The Next Level (2022)
Next Level GARBAGE
Did you ever want to see and hear (ew!) all the craziest conspiratwats (but really, they are just conmen), in one single place?
Your wish is now granted. Many flattards have put together all their working braincells (totalling 3 between the lot), to terrorise the world with the SEQUEL, that absolutely no one wanted or asked for!
Find this "collage of videos" in the bargain bin, behind youtube, next to the garbage on the floor.
Level (2021)
Tripe, Drivel and Garbage are disgusted...
...You people used their good name to describe this... er... "thing", with pictures, a soft spoken idiot... and lots and lots of patently false, unproven, baseless arguments.
Tripe, drivel and garbage are gods, compared to this "long video" (Video is protesting the association too!)
The Staircase (2022)
Time-shifting, slow, boring, bloated mess.
A little misdirection is fine, some flashbacks... but the constant jumping back and forth and the incomplete scenes are dizzying and confusing. The editing is atrocious and the camera work will make your head spin, but not in a good way.
The only positive is the acting. But that alone cannot save this monumental mess.
My Fake Boyfriend (2022)
CRINGE-TASTIC
Every stereotype is here. The acting is so bad, you can tell they are only doing this for the paycheck, and the story is totally predictable.
You're not doing the lgbtq+ community any favours with this kind of garbage.
And as usual, the 10/10 "insurrectionists" are all out in force.
Queer as Folk (2022)
Not as good, but not as bad
This is neither 1/10, nor 10/10, like most of the ratings would want you to believe.
I really wanted to love it, but it is a bit messy, the acting is below par, Brodie is one of the least likeable characters ever, the stories are a bit ridiculous, and "that ending"...
Stop rating things 10/10, no one believes you would think this is PERFECT.
The Flight Attendant (2020)
The Schizo Penny Show (the Mini series that overstayed its welcome)
The first season (sold as a mini series) was good, but they had to be greedy and force a second season. It is just a vehicle for Kaley to showcase all the face expresions she has learned. She is a great actor, but this was beneath her.
Pathetically poor writing, whatever they want to happen, they make it so, without caring for the integrity of the story. What they did with Rosie Perez character was especially bad.
"Suspension of belief" is not something the writers are aware of or practice. Kill it. No more seasons!
The Batman (2022)
Another crap movie propped up by the 10/10 brigade
It is very long, it is boring, it is pointless. Not to mention depressing. And once again, the 10/10 brigade is out in force, trying to (and succeeding) bump the rating for a formidably crap movie.
You can't seriously think this drivel is "perfect" to give it such a score.
House of Gucci (2021)
House of CRINGE
Population: American actors with very awkward Italian accents (that come and go) and dialogues written by a five year old, "neatly" wrapped in an unnecessarily long bow.
I'm kidding, there's nothing neat about this, and it is way too long.
Yellowjackets: Sic Transit Gloria Mundi (2022)
Wow... talk about taking viewers for a ride (well, more of a scam)
This surpasses any other show's finale, more teenager bullcrap, no answers, more lazy writing, non-sensical deaths, more plot holes than a colander. All just to avoid telling the complete story and flog another season.
Yellowjackets (2021)
EXTREMELY BORING, IMPOSSIBLY SLOW, VERY MISLEADING TRAILER, AND LAZY WRITING
The trailer made it out like it would be a fast paced tv series, but it is impossibly slow, and it doesn't make you care for the characters at all, as they constantly do things that are very hard to believe.
Far fetched doesn't even begin to cover it.
For example, SPOILER ALERT, in episode 8, why would they set fire to a girl that had been mauled by a wolf, without checking that she was really dead?
So many plot holes it is literally unbelievable.
The whole show is so preposterous.