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KingofCarrotFlowers
Did I say I'm into music? Guess so but here are some of the demi-gods that light up my...path (no way I'm making a Debby Boone pun!): Julian Cope, Robyn Hitchcock, Martin Phillips, Elliott Smith, Andy Partridge, Arthur Lee, Syd Barrett, Paul Westerberg, Dave Faulkner, Bob Mould, Grant Hart, Wayne Coyne, Alex Chilton, Luke Haines, Jeff Mangum, Gruff Rhys and literally a thousand others.
Oh happy day when music and cinema come together as in gems like This is Spinal Tap, High Fidelity, 24Hour Party People, Fearless Freaks or Dig!
Reviews
O Crime do Padre Amaro (2005)
Why oh Why
As you might not know Eça de Queiroz is one of Portugal's most rightfully celebrated writers. He was witty, he spared no one in his critics and must now be rolling in his tomb. And that's not due to this movie being bad, which it is, but as a result of the treatment dispensed to one of his masterworks "O Crime do Padre Amaro". It's treated like cheap, throwaway trash.
When it was publicized that this was to be a "modern and urban" take on the book I feared for the worst, normally modern in these contexts means taking the liberty to take the p**** when doing an adaptation, to half arse it in the shoddiest possible way. And so the moral and social dilemma of a priest having a secret,forbidden affair are substituted by extra-long passages of people dealing drugs and singing hip-hop for no particular or pertinent reason to the plot. It's just there like it might very well not have been.
Oh and there's lots of sex so you can at least be counting on that when you put this on. Remember how every movie in the 80's, no matter the genre or the tone always found a way to sneak in some nudity? If it was a thriller and they had no need for it they simply found a way that when they were capturing a felon he "happened" to be in bed with a woman that would prance around screaming (naked of course) when the cops barged in. Ahem, gratuitous is the word I think. Not that there's anything wrong with nude scenes but here they make the creators of this movie look desperate simply because there's nothing else to the movie, it's totally devoid of what do you call it dramatic content.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
Mind
A fascinating study on mental illness above all else, "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" offers a disturbingly piercing and complex glimpse into one's mind and of what exactly constitutes a psychological disease. Everyone knows about Nicholson's charismatic turn as McMurphy, the supposedly sanest person in the asylum but there's so much more here if one digs beneath the surface and straight into the secondary characters. Where Brad Dourif excels as the impossibly sensitive and introverted youth unable to take a stand on anything. Besides him we get all sorts of disturbed conditions ranging from people who frequent the asylum as refuge from their lives to others who are utterly unable to deal with the world in the most basic of ways. So while taking this as the saga of one man while he struggles to remain sane is affecting enough, couple it with the myriad shades of humanity that surround and interact with him and the end result is a thoroughly envolving experience.
Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo (1966)
Rollicking
Beautifully shot and packed with a wickedly grim sense of humour this is one of the finest westerns this side of John Huston. Starring a stony faced don't-laugh-don't-blink Clint Eastwood and a crafty, weasely Eli Wallach it covers most of the genre's typical themes, albeit in a more gonzoid fashion, ranging from public hangings to duels and back.
Sergio Leone goes to great lengths to create just the right atmosphere, filming even the smallest rolling tumbleweed if it improved on his vision. Consequently this an epic of epic length, which is bound to put some people off.
However, the huge amounts of iconic moments, the sweeping Morricone soundtrack and the sheer wide-eyed sense of adventure it oozes turns it into a great slice of cinema.
I'm Alan Partridge (1997)
Partridge Strikes Again
It's impossible to like the foul beast known as Alan Partridge, yet he's one of the funniest dudes around. The comedy he provides is as painful to watch as Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm", the difference being that Alan NEVER means well, hasn't got a good heart nor tries to help anybody. He doesn't spend a second considering the well-being of anybody and is totally oblivious of what goes around him. He fails in pretty much everything he puts his hands on and deceives all those who approach him, all this while seeing himself as the crown prince of mankind. Yes, he's hopelessly clueless and remorselessly mean but also gives the vibe of not even being aware of what he's doing, so that bit of childish innocent stupidity is what eventually turns him into the quintessential involuntary buffoon.
Diner (1982)
OK-ish End of adolescence tale
I didn't see this one as complete waste of time and some of it was OK, but also lots of it got on my nerves.
First for the good in it: Mickey Rourke gets his career highlight in here, he's also the only character that's developed to some point but that besides the issue. Rourke is the Casanova of the gang but he's also immersed in fear of not seeing the next day, with the impending pressure of having to pay off some gambling debts to a local mob. Still he might be physically near to crying but he tries his utmost not to let down his cocky façade in front of his friends. Really, I can perfectly see why people would see him as a promising actor at his point in time. The soundtrack is OK and some of the banter inside the title's diner does show some chemistry.
And now the bad: I know this is from 82 and meant to mirror the 50's but boy is this film misogynistic. Their objectifying chats are one thing but that football test in order to get married just seems to come out of the stone age, when that girl's mom calls on the phone to check out how her daughter's doing on the test as if it's perfectly normal I kinda zoned out from it. Kevin Bacon's character is supposed to be somewhat crazy but we have no idea why. Is he schizophrenic? Is he depressed and trying to get some attention? We have no idea and his craziness seems to be there only for the sake of some "wacky" moments. Daniel Stern plays a music geek, high on trivia and low on communicating with his wife. As a music brainiac myself I felt disgusted by the way he carries himself and by the whiny, childish tantrum he gets when a record is not in place, literally driving his wife t tears. Geez, I know it's supposed to vent his frustration about not having anything to talk about with his spouse but no one would be that insensitive (telling her not to order the records herself-maybe, making her cry-don't think so). It's the most denigrating music fan image I've ever seen on film.
In the end we're left with a handful of amusing moments marred by lack of character development (which is odd considering this is exactly the right kind of movie for that)and a dated feel to it all in more ways than one.
Misery (1990)
One Room: One Fine Movie
This one manages to milk a potentially limiting situation (bedridden man trapped in crazed fan's house) by getting all sorts of things to happen in such a small set from writing to exercising to book burning to ankle mauling to fighting, they fit an entire film in a cubicle and while it gets claustrophobic it doesn't feel tiresome. Both actors help by putting on quite intense performances with plenty of subtle nuances(Caan struggling and failing at not showing outside signs of the terror Kathy's presence provokes on him). Sad to see poor old Richard Farnsworth shot in such a way but it put across well the point of Kathy going to walk that extra mile to keep Caan by her side. Plus it gets me to think how some writers have, unlike here, metaphorically their creativity hostage to someone else's (public, editors, whoever's) desires and aspirations.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
Worst Ever?
I do like horror and gore has never been a problem (Carpenter's "The Thing" is among my favorite films) but I also come into a theater expecting to be entertained. "The Hills Have Eyes" provide NO entertainment of any sort. It's a movie that apparently, and firmly at that, believes that showing gratuitous violence and scenes straight out of the lowest snuff movie you can find (being burned at the stake anyone?)is somehow going to make it worth our while. In reality it just makes the filmmakers(?)look desperate for not having anything solid in which to cling this lame remake. I don't go into this sort of films expecting very literate plots but I do go under the assumption it at least will have one, not a car-breaks-down-mutants-attack doodle as a screenplay, I don't expect to encounter something written by chimps and that's what this one seems to be.
Forbidden Planet (1956)
Heady Sci Fi
First thing that surprised me was the year this was made-1956, I mean this was the year of Cecil B.de Mille's "10 Commandments"(and how perversely funny it would be that Leslie Nielsen had played a role in the Christian epic)and an adequate year for most films except for such a far reaching sci-fi trailblazer.
Second thing that surprised me was that the movie's leading man is none other than Leslie"Frank Drebin"Nielsen in his usual deadpan delivery, only this time not going for the laughs, playing it all very seriously(even if I never can take him in a totally serious way).
Third thing that surprised me was that for a genre so often derided as lesser here was an adaptation of Shakespeare's "Tempest" that went beyond the surface and into the mind and what its powers can unleash.
Take it as you will "The Forbidden Planet" is a movie that has stood the test of time and presents a good amount of entertainment,some humour, captivating characters and a light dose of intellect thrown in just to make things more interesting.
The King of Queens (1998)
Awful
I can't help but be completely annoyed by this sitcom. It's like they didn't even bothered trying ro write good comedy, just rehash third rate jokes and hope it sticks. The worst of all this is that it's all so damm uninteresting and lacking in every way.
To make things worse leading man Kevin James has a permanent "I'm so funny" smug grin on his face that would be tolerable if only he once delivered in the comedy department, which he doesn't, he just lies there doing nothing like a big unfunny baby. Which takes me to the relationship between the Heffernan's- easily the most insincere and poor representation of a married couple on any TV show, really headache inducingly obnoxious Remini spends the whole show as if it where a violent chore to even be around her own husband. Jerry Stiller yanking the few laughs on the show is doing a 100% repetition of his role as Frank Costanza in Seinfeld only this time his hints mostly tread on water due to the inability of the central duo in recognizing a joke even if it flew by them. The episodes just drift along in a stream of nothingness, their jobs add nothing and their interaction is even worse.
This is not even a waste of talent, there is no talent here, this is a laughless creative desert.
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
Time Waster
This movie was so savagely criticized that I desperately wanted to like it, to prove everybody wrong and to claim that Eddie Murphy was back with a bang and with his funny bones throbbing like they never had. I wanted all that badly...until I got to see the movie and got sourly disappointed at such flagrant waste of resources.
Not that E.Murphy's name is a guarantee of quality cinema anymore but at least he used to have some dignity, usually top notch character actor Joe Pantoliano(just watch"Memento") also sets something close to a career low here. The visual side of the film is occasionally spectacular but nothing can overcome the increasingly frequent hollywoodian syndrome of having scripts and dialogs that look as if they were written by drunken apes, I mean zero intelligence, zero subtlety, zero coherence all amounting to one gigantic mess of half baked concepts that never gel into anything resembling a decent film.
To top it off for an action comedy the action part is feeble at best and the least said about the jokes the better(oh the endless horny robot jokes). It flopped for a reason, nobody in a right frame of mind would want to repeat his dose of Pluto Nash.
Aliens (1986)
Action Packed
"Aliens" is truly one of the best action movies around, it's got all you could possibly demand from the genre and then some.
First off the characters are all given depth and substance, they're not just walking stereotypes but believable in a way that few actioners succeed. Burke is greedy but you can see his hesitance towards what he's doing, Bishop is an android but isn't all statistics over a mechanical voice-they all act like real people.
The character development naturally gives a more personal and affecting tone to the horrible things they go through which brings me to another successful element of the movie: the plot. While not overtly complex the story has a way of slowly unfolding new layers of terror upon these marines until it drowns them in the surrounding horror, leaving them no obvious escape.
The monsters of the title also make for some frightening opposition either slowly climbing through ventilation shafts or going on unstoppable all out assaults, their humanized intelligence and organization only compounding on the unescapable situation of these men and women.
In short here is an action film that never loses its pace, sets an awesomely tense atmosphere, gives you plenty of juicy characters to feast on plus great monsters and action sequences around every corner to keep you more than satisfied. Indeed Cameron never bettered this one.
Neko no ongaeshi (2002)
Kingdom of Cats
Despite Miyazaki's association as a producer this doesn't approach the quality of the films he has actually directed. Still this is a charming little movie with an oblique starting point that follows a girl's journey into the the Kingdom of Cats where everything is run by ,you've guessed it, cats where she stumbles upon conspiracies and potentially hazardous magic spells.
This all goes on a very Disney, though tinged by oriental atmosphere, way with the usual daring escapes, love stories and fights for what's right in a decaying but once glorious realm. One more for the kids but OK to watch.
Jaime (1999)
O King of Chaos
"Jaime" is a soap opera, not the kind of soap opera where nobody works and everybody gets married in beautiful seaside resorts but the kind where tragedies keep on piling until the characters are out of breathing room in their lives for anything besides grievance.
"Jaime" follows the grown up child of the film's title in his quest to improve his life while at the same time reuniting his parents, for this he enters a dodgy underworld of child labor and slight misdemeanours where besides finding some pay he loses what little innocence he still retained.
Worthwhile even if a little heavy on the sentimental side
24 Hour Party People (2002)
Fans of films about music you need to see this one
I'm not gonna lie to you, this movie will be a lot more enjoyable if you're in any way into the post punk and specially Manchester music of the 80's. However it is conducted with such pace and humour that even people not aware of the kind of music being made in the early 80's should find this of very entertaining viewing.
Admiteddly I'm a sucker for movies that circle around music- This is Spinal Tap, Almost Famous, Dig, Fearless Freaks, That Thing you do, High Fidelity they're all films I've watched several times. Of all these 24Hour Party People probably only loses in comparison with the mighty This is Spinal Tap.
The movie follows the life of Tony Wilson and how he somewhat accidentally founded one of the defining record labels of the 80's, signed more bands that he could possibly manage and always stuck his neck out for sake of the music's integrity(even at the cost of his own).All the shenanigans he goes through are made believable by the affecting yet extremely self deprecating way Steve Coogan tackles the role, believe me it is not easy to come across as pathetic and driven in the same frame as Coogan often does here.
Also noteworthy is the insight into some of these bands creative and recording processes, particularly the warm way in which Midas-like producer Martin Hannet and legendarily gloomy Joy Division are faced, the Joy Division moments are indeed where most of the movie's highlights reside(that and the Smiths/Simply Red joke).
Beyond all this we have the added bonus of having loads of cameos by bandmembers of such influential groups as the Stone Roses or the Inspiral Carpets.
One of the best surprises I had in recent years.
Os Imortais (2003)
Good Quality Action Film
"Os Imortais" is indeed a very competently made heist movie that brings together a consistent cast and a captivating story. It deals with the inability of war veterans to resume their old life after they've been trained to discard their emotions and act like killing machines only to be later unable to readapt to their old life. Crime becomes the only thing they can be good at and they reconvene their old group for a robbery. Sadly, despite some very effective scenes near the end, this human aspects take a back seat to the investigational thriller it mostly is. The casting managed to fit in the same movie a wide array of well known Portuguese (and not only since Polanski's wife Emanuelle Seigner also stars) actors and TV personalities ranging from the extremely successful Joaquim de Almeida and Nicolau Breyner to up and coming young comedians like Maria Rueff, Carla Salgueiro and Rui Unas playing against character. Certainly worth a view or two.
Half Light (2006)
Sea of Clichès
It's been as long time since I watched a film that so willingly immersed itself in clichès. It actually was fun to spend the latter part of the film trying to guess which absurdity the writers would pile on next. Not that I expected much but the elements seemed to be there for at least a decent film, they had Demi Moore(no she still hasn't learned to act),an actor from Braveheart and an actress from brit TV show Coupling. But it all amounts to nothing but blandness and a script that doesn't give logic for its progression making it seem outlandish and arbitrary only to have that "surprise effect". It is beautifully shot nonetheless but buying a postcard from Scotland would provide the same effect and would cost considerably less.
The Thing (1982)
Gets under your Skin
John Carpenter's "The Thing" is, most would agree, indeed a very frightening piece of filmaking. But unlike other films which rely on cheap and clichéd scary tactics for all the frights "The Thing" is bloodcurdling in several different ways. First there's the gore which will surely put off many due to its explicitness and inventive grotesqueness. Second there's the scenery with its chilled and chilling feel of isolation and its "no one's getting out alive" vibe. Thirdly the most unsettling aspect is that it lays out a distrustful relationship among these men, they're all together but not once do they, or indeed can they, trust one another which is clearly made out by lines like "Trust is a hard thing to come by these days" or "You'll have to sleep sometime".Paranoia fills the air while the tension seethes inside each character threatening to boil over.
So it's about the natural fear of the unknown but also about being alone in a world you can't by no means control.
"The Thing" while also marking career highpoints for Carpenter, Kurt Russel and Keith David is one of the finest, most terrifying and intelligent horror movies you can get your hands on.
Late Night with Conan O'Brien (1993)
Brutally funny TV
This show is absolutely hilarious from start to finish and Conan is in my opinion the best talk show host around beating even Jon Stewart and WAY ahead of the once funny Jay Leno.The humour is so stupidely original that it shouldn't work in any level but it comes out swinging with such greats as the Texas Ranger lever,Conan Hates My Homeland,the deadpan interplay between Conan and Max,the neverending picking on La Bamba or even the celebrities ending sentences(my favorite-O.J.Simpson"I hate being recognized when...I'm killing people"). The guests are also always more loose with Conan(late night)and not desperate to plug stuff as in Leno.