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Craving (2023)
Trust me, the monster IS COMING
Full disclosure, I worked on this film. This is my honest review: Craving is an indie horror flick about a group of people trapped in a rural bar. Half are the regulars: bartenders and patrons, the other half are a "family" of junkies who've been followed by a group of hunters in flesh masks. The hunters barricade everyone inside, dead set on killing one of them who they claim is a monster. Not just in practice, like a literal monster. Directed by J. Horton and written by Horton and Gregory Blair, Craving is a slow burn unraveling of a deeper, sad story of family and love. Horton does a great job at capturing the characters emotions and relationships with each other despite the size of the cast.
The main story focuses on telling the history of the "family", five junkies who were gathered by Carl (Michael Turner Tucker), a mysterious father figure who is in charge of scoring heroin for the addicts. Gail (Holly Rockwell) and her adoptive son Will (Xavier Roe) bring the most emotionally charged performances, while Frenzy (Ashley Undercuffler) acts as a foil to just about everyone, delivering a chaotic yet playful performance that keeps you on your toes. Mac (Kevin Caliber) and Lo (Likun Jing) deliver more nuanced performances as the less talkative yet more threatening members of the group, and once they jump to action you know something Brad's about to go down.
Filling out the bar cast are sweet bartender Shiloh (Rachel Amanda Bryant), lovestruck conspiracy theorist Rudy (Frankie Guzman), con artist and manipulator CeCe (Toya Morman), dorky cowboy Travis (Gregory Blair), local DJ with RBF Rylee (Miranda Bourke), and shady businessman Jared (Scott Alan Ward). We are also treated to a small performance from horror mainstay Felissa Rose as Les the bartender, who brings warmth and humor to the group before things go awry. While we go get to enjoy these characters, they become more akin to cannon fodder once the family becomes introduced in the story. We get just enough to know who they are and understand them, but by the end you'd be forgiven for not remembering all their details brought up early on.
The cast is rounded out with Hunter (Al Gomez) who works alongside the hunter group consisting of Red (Greg Tally), Lori (Zera Lynd), and Gerry (Robert C. Pullman). Hunter has been pursing the monster for decades, and Gomez delivers a great performance throughout multiple moments in time showing his obsession and resilience, and just how he's turned into a monster himself in his pursuit
It's worth mentioning here that we get to see different sides to several characters throughout the flashbacks. And while it's cool to put the pieces together with this method it does slow the pace of the film during the second act. This is a low-budget film, so you have to consider that when judging it against multi-million dollar horror films. But if you enjoy cult horror or B-films this will be right up your alley. With impressive monster and gore effects from Robert Bravo, the film delivers an impactful third act when the monster itself is revealed. That may be a complaint for those expecting a monster movie, that it isn't really one until the end, but the way it pays off will likely win you ever in the end.
The monster itself is something unlike anything I've seen before. It's violent and terrifying, but you feel sad for it at the same time. One of the greatest strengths of the film is that just about every character is in love or has familial love to someone else in the film, causing the relationships between everyone to heighten the emotions through the worst violence. This highlighted by Everett Young's score and Sophia Cacciola's cinematography. So if you're a fan on low budget horror this will deliver the goods, even if there's a bit of delayed gratification. I would love to see a sequel to this.
Paranormal Attraction (2020)
Great looking film with effective jump scares
This was a fun watch. Single-location horror/romance film with a good premise that keeps you intrigued the whole time. The cinematography is beautiful, the music is effective, and a lot of the acting is great. Some of the highlights were the flashback scene and the first possession. This film presents a cute love story as well as a horror plot, but sometimes struggles to blend the two, typically resulting in the characters acting like they're in a romcom when there is a demon lurking about. Some of the performances were a bit wooden, but overall the direction was great and it was fun experience.
Accepted (2006)
I love Kiki
Diora Baird is absolutely hot as hell in this movie. But really all the characters are amazingly fun to watch.
(MINOR SPOILERS) As per usual, the main character, B, is the sane one of the bunch. B has this crazy idea to make up his own college when he's rejected from all colleges he applies to. He's known for making fake IDs. so an acceptance letter is no problem.
Because B's dad is a hard @$$ and suspicious of this university he's never heard of, B gets his friend Sherman to design a website for the university. Sherman has been accepted to a great college and is in fear of being arrested for fraud. He's very quick with witty lines but his flaw is he wants to be accepted socially too much.
Glen, Hands, and Rory are the three stooges that follow B along. Glen got a zero on his SATs and has no thought process. He's constantly proposing battle royals, but he's very good at making smoothies, which gets him a lot of hot girls, somehow. Hands was a great football player who didn't receive the scholarship he was counting on, and turns to crafts to cover his lack of athletics. Rory was preparing to go to Yale since the 1st grade, and was not accepted. She spends her time meditating.
Uncle Ben was my favorite character. Picture Lewis Black playing himself. If you have no reason to see this movie, then see it for Lewis Black and Jonah Hill. They're amazing.
Monica is a B's love interest. As most of these stories go, she's more popular than him and doesn't even notice him until half way through the movie. Unlike many other stories though, B actually gets her and keeps her until the end. Monica is actually a good character on her own, but of course she's primarily there for B to adore.
There are more supporting students at the made-up college who are fun to watch. A.D.D.'s name is self explanatory, and funny enough he ends up in the meditation class. Kiki is a hot ex-stripper who falls head over heels for a chance to go to school and eventually gets a crush on Glen. Maurice is an ex-military idiot who got his G.I. bill and wants to study rock n' roll in college. The final guy is only known as Freaky Student, who thinks he can blow things up with his mind. Ye who have little faith in him wait until the end of the movie.
Of course the villains are the Dean of an opposing university, his university's student body president, the president's girlfriend, and their circle of friends.
Every character is lovable. I believe this movie has a good plot and is well done, despite what a lot of people say. Even thought the overall story is predictable, the characters keep you guessing and make the movie great. Go see this film. I give it 9 out of 10.
Drawn Together (2004)
Adam Carolla Rocks
No one can beat Adam Carolla, or his character Spanky. Spanky no doubt is the best character in "Drawn Together". Whether Spanky is deficating on a cantaloupe, or pondering the possibility of being swallowed by a giant vagina, the laughs never end.
The other characters are pretty good as well. The weird duck thing is stupid though. Ling Ling is awesome, though I wish he were more involved in the cartoon, and not with the dishes. Toot is really annoying, and practically useless. The Link-like character was pretty funny at first, and I hope he comes around in the next few episodes. The Princess is annoying, yet adds cartoon boobs to the picture, so let's not complain. Same with Foxy. Captain Hero is a complete idiot, yet knows just how to work out some of the bad situations (such as squeezing the tits of two chicks as they b**** at each other).
My Hero (2000)
Very Entertaining
I find this show to be most funny, mostly because of the characters.
George is an idiot amongst Humans, yet, being a superhero, is from another planet where his level of knowledge is acceptable.
Janet is the only normal one, caught up in the middle of a superhero husband, two always problemed parents, and the crazy health clinic she works at.
Arnie is George's cousin, who has become more Human like since he lost his powers for charging people to be rescued. He's a complete slob.
Tyler is George's neighbor, who believes he's from another planet, and that he visits planets and aliens all the time, most friequently, Gandalf the wizard.
Janet's Mother is a pain in Janets side, and Janet's Father is always dumbfounded by the situations he gets caught up in.
Mrs. Raven is the health clinic receptionist, who is pure evil.
And then there's Dr. Crispin, who is so amazed by himself, he never really understands what people actually think of him.
It's a great show, so go watch it.
Raptor Island (2004)
If Jurassic Park were made with a bunch of 12 year olds with toy guns, you'd have this movie.
I mean, come on! The CG is terrible. An amateur on his home computer could make better dinosaurs. The actors are horrible as well.
First off, I'd like to give some reasons as to why the story sucked.
(SPOILERS!!!!!)
First off, two forces from different nations, caught up in a fight next to the island was a poor way to get a few people killed by dinosaurs. It lacked creativity.
Second, a plane crashes, causing radiation to spill on to the island, turning the creatures on the island into these raptor creatures. I would like to inform the makers of this film, that nuclear radiation in 40 years will not turn back time. Lizards will not become Raptors of the dinosaur age. Therefore one of two things has happened here. A) The idea behind the story defies evolution, or B) These aren't real Raptors.
Whoever told the actors where to shoot, obviously didn't speak before hand with the FX guys, because the actors shoot all over the place, and never hit the raptors. I saw a shot, where 5 raptors were directly in front of a guy, and he shot the tree to the side. He constantly shot the tree, and never the raptors. Also, whenever a raptor is shot, red gas comes out of the hole, then a bit of blood drips out. What are these things, balloons?
One more thing. Whenever the raptors bite or slash someone before eating them, the person disappears, and there's only a few drops of blood. Not bodies, and gushes. Totally un-realistic. Bodies don't disappear.
I hated this film. I went into it hoping to see a movie with dinosaurs that did not steal from Jurassic Park. I was very disappointed. The raptors looked like the Jurassic Park raptors, and the big raptor looked like the Carnotaur from Disney's Dinosaur.
I would not recommend this movie to anyone. It down right stank.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
People are coming down on this way too much.
I mean, really? What's the big deal. Dinosaurs chasing people on an island is what Jurassic Park is all about.
I loved Jurassic Park 3. The dinosaurs were incredible. The RAptors were smarter, faster, and had feathers! They actually appeared as villains in this film rather than monsters. Sure Spinosaurus took T-Rex's place, but who can look at a twenty five foot tall, fifty foot long monster, running around eating people, as a bad thing in the Jurassic Park franchise? I missed the T-Rex, and hope that it gets more screen time in Jurassic Park 4. However, the Rex/Spino fight was incredible. Also, I loved the Pteranodons. I for one have been wanting to see them in each film since I left the theater in 1993, having just seen Jurassic Park.
Sure, the actors could have been a bit better, and the storyline could have used some work. But hey, it's hard to come up with ways of getting people on the island. I personally would have rather seen Spielberg directing the movie though.
That's my thoughts.