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Gladiator II (2024)
He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
It's but a scatch
Crucifixion? One cross each line up on the left
Ok this wasn't a Monty Python film but there moments when it felt like one
Ok was it good ?
Yes , but not as good as I'd liked it to have been
The story was there but although based on actual historical people it felt implausible for a lot of the time , even the dual emperors who reminded me of the annoying Irish pop twin duo Jedward looked more pantomime than realistic but there was also some great casting too & Denzil Washington was on top form but in the fight scenes you can't but help think of the Tyson v Paul boxing mismatch fight on later tonight. The inclusion of Jacobi gave it some credibility but Captain Darling & Matt Lucas brought the unintended comic back in again.
CGi was great & the recreation of Ancient Rome looked amazing but there were too many unintended comic moments to make the film enjoyable
Acting , costume & sets were all great - you just didn't walk out of the film wanting to tell everyone they must go and see this , from a business point of view it's achieved what is needed & that is to get bums on seats & it should recoup it $250 million budget
I'm in no hurry to see it again but I'm not at all surprised that there will be a Gladiator 3 it'll be a sure fire hit.
Instantly forgettable not as good as it ought to have been
Pad. A 6/10.
Paddington in Peru (2024)
3rd time not so lucky
Number 3 in the franchise looked amazing in the trailer
My favourite part was Hugh Grant's cameo piece don't miss it
Both Paddington 1 & 2 were brilliant so this had a lot to live up to , sadly it's not as good as the other 2 but it's not either
The theme was family & growing up and leaving the nest wherever that nest was , it was nice to see 75% of the actors reprise their role & the loss of the original mother to Emily Mortimer didn't affect the story in any way
The search for El Dorado was a great inclusion. It added tension with the goodies & the baddies with high grants character safely locked away
It was good but it wasn't brilliant let's hope part 4 is better
Pad. A 6/10.
Piece by Piece (2024)
Absorbing, uplifting & emotional
For all grandmothers out there who inspire their grandchildren
I knew nothing about this film until last night when I read an article saying that it had avoided addressing the the copyright controversy over blurred lines that almost everyone agrees should never been won , pharrel & thicke's song did not plagiarise if so then every film we watch is a plagiarism !
What surprised me that wasn't included was the first time I'd heard of pharell with the N. E. R. D song lap dance. I had no idea of how he started or who else he worked with so the film was a huge educational journey for me and wow isn't he talented & he's literally collaborated with everyone
The story was told through Lego characters & to be honest that worked & it made sense too. It was a very emotional ride watching his humble beginnings and his go get them attitude & never give up , when you think back to Justin Timerlake's first solo album you can hear pharells influence throughout & I hadn't realised that Timberland was his cousin
This film made me laugh , cry & smile and those ingredients go together to make it surprising 10/10 the only fault I could find with it was some of the titles didn't fit the screen which might've been a fault of cinema
But go see it with no knowledge & low expectations & you'll enjoy like I did :)
Pad. A 10/10.
Small Things Like These (2024)
Harrowing history
The trailer was really good
The fact that Eileen Walsh was also in the brilliant & moving 10/10 The Magdalene Sisters from 2002 was a great omen & should have had the makings of a great piece of drama albeit sadly based on real events
Likewise Cillan Murphy never fails to deliver
But it ended with me feeling cheated by what ought to have been an exceptional piece of drama
Having returned from Wexford in Ireland yesterday I was looking forward to seeing this although knowing it was a dark subject
The story was told through flashbacks & Cillan's character Billy Furlong a coal merchant in 1980s Ireland struggling with his inner demons & childhood upbringing, the problem however was that it slowed the pace down too much to the point that you didn't become as engrossed as you ought to have been
I never give spoilers as you know so won't reveal the plot but most of the story is confined by the workings of what's going on in Billy's mind & it doesn't involve the audience enough , this should have & could have been a lot better
It didn't feel like the 1980s it felt older & he looked a lot older than his character was & then I started to notice small things ( ironic as it's the title ) like the basin he washed his hands in had plastic pipe connectors of a much later era! Then his lorry looked like it came from the era of his childhood
At the end of the day what let it down was poor storytelling
The material was there it was just badly executed
Pad. A 4/10.
Red One (2024)
Santa Bores
Ok I'm expecting the backlash this review will get no likes but for usd 250 million I expected better and it's going to have to work hard to recuperate the investment
Dwayne Johnson fee was reportedly usd 50m & he cost another usd 50m for constantly being late turning up to set
So not the best start
But this is the movie business a throw together The Rock , Fast & Furious , Jamanji , Polar express ,grinch , Harry Potter , captain America , Lord of the rings , Icelandic & east European folklore and you've got your film
Did the mix work ?
Yes a bit bit not enough , if you like the fast & furious franchise I think you'll enjoy this , I don't & I didn't
It wasn't truly awful it just wasn't exceptional I can't see it being enjoyed 20 years later like Polar Express but apparently it's number one in a franchise , I just hope the next one is better
Any redeeming qualities?
Yes a father realising he needs to prioritise his son
But the film on the whole felt as disposable as a bad rehash of an old film & that's not a good start for a piece with an original screenplay albeit leaning on Norse & other European myth
Like the one election result yesterday I'm probably 100% wrong & it'll be a box office smash even though it was supposed to straight to amazon prime last Christmas with its Mariah Carey Santa's coming to town outro
Be warned
Pad. A 5/10.
Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story (2024)
You'll believe a man can cry
You'll believe a man can cry
I grew up watching the superman movies, Christopher Reeve.
Have to admit I was a bit shocked when both he & Michael Caine took on the brave roles in Deathtrap but I had no idea about Reeves beginning in the theatre
I learned a lot watching this I had no idea he was so close to Glen Close & a lifelong friend of Robin Williams
Although you could very easily look up the story on Wikipedia I advise you don't , I knew he had died but I wasn't aware of everything he did after the accident for everyone else , the man was remarkable & watching how he affected others & his family truly made this film
But take a box of tissues you'll need one I don't think I've ever cried so much in a movie.
As I was watching it I suddenly remembered meeting him in 2000 when he came to london the company I was working for had him as their special guest at a motivational evening , seeing him & his young children and knowing what happened next really opened the floodgates , I didn't know all the story and I'm glad u didn't as it made the revelations all that more emotional
A true 10/10 must see
We have one life make the most of it.
The Wedding Ringer (2015)
Promising start
It started well and had its funny moments but then it completely lost its steam half way through & was unwatchable and unengaging
Have a feeling that this film might be somewhat related to get hard from the same year as it followed the same pattern & similar story line of kevin hart playing kevin hart
I gave up halfway though and now have to write 300 more characters about how bad it was & it was bad but the first 1/2 is worth a watch to see if you like it
I don't even know how it got above 6/10 on IMDb not even sure I should give it 4/10 but it didn't start well and was a perennially interesting story but then at the stag do it just died and became a stereotypical mediocre American comedy from there onwards and I don't feel I have the stamina to waste my time to see the end!
Don't bother 4/10.
Terrifier 3 (2024)
The clue as usual is in the title
Not even sure this deserves 3/10
Not sure if it's supposed to be comedy or horror
I haven't seen 1 or 2 & after seeing this have no desire to do so
Basically if you want to see a film that Mary Whitehouse and her viewers & listeners association would have campaigned to be banned & then you'll know it's an I spit on your grave type video nasty
I found it deeply disturbing the way the killer played to the camera in pantomime style and wonder what disturbed mind could have come up with this as material worth digitising
Looking at the other reviews some people I enjoyed it I'm sorry to say I'm not one of them
Pad. A 3/10.
Anora (2024)
A different kind of RomCom
Without giving spoilers as usual I think I've just seen the kindest Russian mafia thugs on the planet no one was hurt during the making of this film ( except them ! ) and no one accidentally fell off a balcony which gave it quite a comic twist & there were no guns in the land of the gun !
This was a take on the Cinderella / Pretty woman story where money & wealth is supposed to bring you happiness but it's not till the final scene that Ani really reveals how happy she actually is and its clear she has a low regard for men no doubt from the career path shes chosen but we don't learn too much about her background and can only guess what caused this - she puts men into two camps those who want sex with her & those who are gay and cannot accept that someone might not fit into those stereotypes & actually care for her
It's a story about fast love , romance & love botj overtly & covertly. Plus the realism that the one who really cares for you & is looking after you is closer to you than you really realise and quite often it's the person you're more likely to hurt.
As per the brief synopsis it's a film about a sex worker so expect nudity but it didn't feel it was done in an exploitative way. Think more about Hustlers with Jlo but don't go if you think nudity will offend you as there's quite a bit of simulated sex. Also worth mentioning is the language is quite raw & quite a lot if drug use
The film had the feel of an independent production along the lines of Kevin Smith's Clerks particularly in the sweet shop.
For me the star of the show was Karren Karagulian as Toros who played an Armenian orthodox priest doubling as a mafia type character that reminded me of Robert De Niro tough guy roles. But the scariest character by far was Darya Ekamasova the wife of oligarch you didn't want to cross her at all!
It's hard to tell if it's set in modern time or in the past but it features Take That 2008 Greatest Day more than once ,which I don't believe ever charted in the US & the iphones used all looked like older models
I'm about to see it for the second time, having seen it again now the score remains the same & i did notice a few plot holes
So it's score might go up but it didn't
Pad. A 7/10.
Juror #2 (2024)
About a man
Superb casting with Nicholas Hoult & Toni Collett reunited 22 years after the Nick Hornby adaptation of About a Boy while Hugh Grant was in the screen next door in Heretic!
Nicholas Hoult's acting deserves an oscar nomination as he struggles with his internal demons to do the right thing
It's a great story and along the lines of 12 angry men it focuses on the jury, the American selection process leaves a lot to be desired but this also focuses on the importance of good detective work & not to find your culprit then concentrate on evidence to convict that person without any proper investigation of any other possibilities
Juror #4 is key to the plot , I never give spoilers as you know but perhaps it could been better written if the reveal & twist was withheld from the audience until the final quarter rather than it being in the first quarter that took away the suspense & mystery angle which would have made this a 10/10 must see and you leave feeling there were a plot holes there
It's a story about turning a new leaf , it's about life & death and loss and the pursuit of justice regardless of evidence and jury peer pressure.
Thought provoking with symbolic blind justice emblems throughout
Bravo Clint 8/10 Pad. A.
Heretic (2024)
Superb Acting & so well written
The more you know, the less you know
The trailer for this was amazing, actual film in many ways is better than the trailer
All three main protagonist were incredibly well acted, the mis en scene made you feel suitably claustrophobic & it would make a great stage play
Religion & faith are the centre of the story and the filmmakers have crafted an incredible journey where you the audience feel you know more than the missionaries at times but there are many dead end in this mouse trap & you'll never fully understand what you're seeing. In one outing
As you know I don't do spoilers but there's so much symbolism in this film , gameplay of board games being the most obvious
Because you have a preconceived idea of the roles that Hugh Grant plays & the English accent make him sound so trusting but like the leaking roof you're being drip fed information as the film progresses
Well worth seeing if you like hitchcockian mystery thrillers
The music score was so fitting , it's all about belief
Pad. A 8/10.
The Front Room (2024)
Much better than I expected
The trailer made me feel it would be something like Get Out (2017) but I feared it would be as bad as Us (2019) thankfully it wasn't bad at all , it's nowhere near as good as Get out either
The genre here a mix of dark comedy , a touch of mystery / thriller with Hitchcockian themes & music and a touch of horror but not too much
It will keep you guessing and its twist and cloak and dagger mean you never know who to believe & it wasn't the ending I was expecting either which at first puzzled me but since thinking about it without any spoilers it's really clever
Don't go with high expectations as I think you'll be disappointed read all the bad reviews without spoilers and see if you agree that it's better than you expected
Pad. A 7/10.
The Wild Robot (2024)
Best animated film in years
Enjoyable from start to finish
If you added , wall:e , finding nemo , shrek & avatar you'd be close
Great to hear Matt Berry's voice , Mark Hamil's voice was unrecognisable
It was a story about humanity & nature - introspection & with what's going on in the Middle East a big & not very subtle message to say stop fighting and sit down and have peace - the dome being an emulation of the ark not being missed
This is a film that can be enjoyed by the whole family , it'll be huge in the toy shops at Christmas too
The soundtrack was really good without ruining it by turning it into a musical which some animation films do
A loveable classic & id love to see it again in 3d
It's not 10/10 as it didn't make me cry
Pad. A 9/10.
The Apprentice (2024)
Tony Montana the making of a monster
There's something very inspiring about watching someone rise to the top
Just seen it for the second time
In a dog eat dog world no one rises to the top by being the nice guy
In the way Tony Montana rose to become the kingpin with the gorgeous blond trophy wife by stabbing everyone in the back even his best friend you've got a very similar story here
The music was uncannily similar too , and the location - Miami, great 80s soundtrack too
I had no idea what to expect , I don't like Trump , I don't like narcissistic megalomaniacs who lie , cheat & run roughshot over everything we hold decent but I was prepared to watch this with an open mind
I suggest you do the same , in the early years you find yourself having sympathy for the character as he is the apprentice learning his trade with a father that doesn't fully respect him but as soon as he meets his kingmaker everything changes , there are hints of his sexuality being more fluid than we know of although nothing is seen his love for his lawyer Cohen may not have been purely platonic once again nothing s said or seen just you feel there's a hint
Cohen is the star of the show and his rise & fall that sets the plot of the film as the new emperor in his new clothes finds his confidence to act alone no longer needing any of his father figures be it Roy , his father or his sympathetic & sadly pathetic brother
Your sympathy is well and truly with Ivanah she's far more astute than you're led to believe , it ends setting itself up for more than one sequel and next month will probably help the production team decide what path that will take
This wasn't scarface but it had all the hallmarks of a person determined to succeed by not playing by the rules
Worth seeing don't let the person called Donald Trump put you off seeing it which ever side of the marmite jar you sit on
Absolute power corrupts absolutely
Pad. A 8/10.
Transformers One (2024)
The clue is in the title
Ok a film like this is all about symbolism but the symbolism is similar to that you see in the Star Wars franchise , but whereas on the whole it was done well there this wasn't done well but I wasn't the audience this was aimed at what I would guess is young male children , I'm not even sure I would have liked it back then , I was just glad when it was over but would have preferred if it had ended 1/2 hour earlier , the story you've seen before you knew something wasn't quite right at the top , it requires you to detach yourself from reality although obviously this was symbolic of the human race - it was just awful
Pad. A 1/10.
Smile 2 (2024)
The girl who cried wolf
Some film have a great structure, this isn't one of them, there were so many false endings that when it is actually ended you thought is that it!?
The british actress in the staring role. Naomi Scott as a Gaga ( bizarrely lady gaga is in her contact list & Interscope was her both their record label giving credibility to the role ) & and as a pop star she was very believable & if it was her singing voice it was impressive
Some of her acting in some scenes seemed sketchy but that may have been part of the mystery as you never know if anything you're seeing is real or imaginary
Drew Barrymore also added credibility in her cameo role as Oprah type talk show host.
The chinese owned Norwegian Water brand VOSS ( with its iconic glass bottle ) had what is probably the biggest product placement this side of a James Bond movie & a search of their social media will show that was no accident!
At the end of the day a film like this is there to do two things one to to make you jump & two to make it's loyal audience want to see smile 3 , judging by what others have said in their reviews it's hit those marks so expect to see smile 3 in 2026 I just hope it's better than this one I don't remember the first one being this bad
2/10 Pad. A.
Speak No Evil (2024)
Perfect edge of your seat shout at the screen thriller
I'm so glad I went to see this , thrillers are one of my favourite genres & it's been ages since I've seen one as good as this if you're not shouting at the screen then you're watching the wrong film!
Acting was top notch - full stars go to the child stars who totally make this film , but James McAvoy hot on the hills of his M Knight Shaylam monster is the perfect menace here , a character you would not want to meet anywhere & some of us will be able to relate to this scenario where you know you're in too deep & need to escape but can't . No spoilers as always as the trailers tell far more of the story than I ever will
It's a story about trust , deceit , family , loyalty, honesty & danger hidden in plain sight . Be careful who you invite into your circle without doing any background research
If you enjoy a thriller or if you're not sure about what to see - go see this it's worth it
Pad. A 10/10.
A Different Man (2024)
Captivating mystery
The fact that this and the substance should be put at the same time is interesting both at times seem to pay homage to David Kronenberg & have a character with the audience sympathy of John Merrick The elephant man
This story or stories with its sliding doors , pygmalion , Frankenstein, face off , deadringers so many influences here.
Adam Pearson has to be nominated for an oscar in this his acting was superb & it's his character Oswald that really tells us that beauty is skin deep & it's what's underneath that counts & it's what you do with your life matters more than relying on your looks
Be careful what you wish for , make the most of what you've got
Pad. A 9/10.
The Substance (2024)
Where limitless meets its match
I do find it annoying when you spend ages writing a review then it disappears into the ether & isn't published particularly when you put so much effort into it
I get that this will probably outlive both Demi Moore & Dennis Quaid & probably get a remake in 20 years with all the actors played by AI & Margaret Qualley making a cameo appearance
For the most part 75% of this film from start till 90 minutes it was brilliant, exceptional even. But its final quarter let it down badly it pushed the envelope too far bit we've seen this recently with Saltburn & Poor Things so it's not a bad thing it's just not my thing
The film is a great piece of art , it achieves what Tarantino has never been able to do & that is to properly parody violence & gore, he came close when Oliver Stone directed Natural Born Killers the satire worked well there
If I was to describe this film I'd say imagine the intermission film in Monty pythons meaning if life & Terry Gillingham's auteur style of Brazil with limitless starting Bradley cooper , a touch of Logan's run , a huge dollop of Mary Shelly's Frankenstein then add Quasimodo , Shrek , Cinderella , showgirls , John Merrick from elephant man , the Sid vicious surreal version of My way in The sex pistols great rock & roll swindle and you've got most of the influences
This will be the most talked about film since Saltburn and that's no bad thing
Using prosthetics in nude scenes is a first but perhaps that's what will happen more in the future instead of body doubles ?
More of this but maybe less gore !
Pad. A 7/10 it could have been 9/10.
My Old Ass (2024)
Nothing bad about Chad
An emotional well crafted & written drama that you can watch again & again
No spoilers here as always so I won't be revealing the plot or the nuances that give this film its originality
There are only 6 stories & every script is a variation on a theme .
This is a love story with a twist , a coming of age story with a twist .
As we get older we all reflect & wish we could advise our younger self of the pits & falls
What was beautiful about this was that the teacher became the taught , it's a film that can make you smile , laugh & cry .
The main protagonist Elliot stole the show in her debut film role , it should have got 10/10 I should have cried but I'm sure I will do next time I see it
Pad. A 8/10.
Hellboy: The Crooked Man (2024)
Truly awful
If you're in need of a headache go and see this film, the sound is dreadful , there is nothing good I can say about this film at all except maybe the Irish actress who played effie put in a really believable southern accent
I think I'd rather spend eternity in hell than have to watch this film again , it was dreadful, I don't know what else to say except it didn't live up to the original film at all , these reboots might get bums on seats but I can't believe this one will spurn a sequel
Save your money and go see something else anything else has to be better than this , if anyone enjoys this I think they probably need help!
Pad. A 0/10.
Blink Twice (2024)
I didn't know what to expect
And i didn't expect that .
I never give spoilers or the plot bit rather concentrate on the the craft & mention a few film that may have influenced it.
If you add GET OUT , wicker man, memento, barbie, the island , Epstein, Frankenstein , the #meToo campaign you're on the right road
As a horror / thriller with a psychological twist it was well executed and did its job admirably.
It's a film about strangers who become unlikely friends & how that friendship becomes their survival as they put together the pieces of the puzzle , it's a story about women supporting women even in the most unlikeliest of places
It's a film that poses questions & leaves you thinking what did I just see as it's almost as if the plot was well hidden & by that it achieved mystery
It ends with a perfect chance to play the kelis song trick me
Pad. A 6/10.
The Fall Guy (2024)
Even better than the trailer
I honestly didn't expect to like this as much as I did but it over delivered
It's a great homage to Hollywood & a great nod to all the people that never get a mention at the Oscars, without whom no film 🎥 would be made .
For anyone who's studied film as a degree like me there are so many references there from the obvious like the script font throughout all the credits before & after to the 100s of film references from Tom Cruise to Momento to Raiders , Star Wars , Love actually , Bond movies . Like La la land this was a beautiful pastiche & a nod to Hollywood . It was cheesy at times but in a good way but it set its track along a beautiful romance with plenty of comedy along the way & skulduggery all around , it didn't quite bring me to tears but brought so much happiness that it deserves a 10/10 .
No spoilers as always
I wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as I did , it overdelivered & it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if Alien v Cowboys Metal Storm actually gets made !
Go see & enjoy
Pad. A 10/10.
Boy Kills World (2023)
Kill Bill vol 3
I'm not a huge fan of violence & gore and Tarantino films are not my thing , although this had nothing to do with Quentin , you could see the influence
The fact that this was an original story straight to film was impressive , it had the feeling of a well established game or comic but the influences are definitely there and I can see this being spun into a franchise with sequels, games & comics
With it dystopian theme it had hallmarks of films like The Hunger games & running man and to an extent Total Recall . There were also hints of Rollerball , Westworld & Logan's Run with a touch of Pythonesque humour around the violence & gore
All in all it wasn't a bad film , it was above average & it worth watching if this is your genre , it's not mine but I didn't dislike it , I thought it was ok
Pad. A 6/10.
Ordinary Angels (2024)
Tears will flow
Be prepared for an emotional roller coaster, this will play on your heart strings
An amazing piece of storytelling based on true life
A story about retribution, community & faith.
The casting & acting was top notch , in particular the father as he struggled with his own internal demons being unable to show emotion but you knew his heat was in the right place despite being dealt such a terrible hand & his character's reluctance to accept help was incredibly believable & the plots within a plot were great
As usual I don't give spoilers so I just concentrate on the craft and in this case it was perfect
Go see it you won't regret it , but I can guarantee you'll end up in tears , I cried through the whole film
Pad. A 10/10.