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Cult-Stitch
Reviews
Gotham (2014)
Gotham... Another little series that was instead of a series that could
You can't judge a book by its cover but you can certainly judge a series by its pilot, especially when it has to throw in the lowest common denominator viewer expectations in 45 minutes. This is being touted as batman without batman, or a police drama taking place in batman's world etc. this is fanboy stuff, you are either already loving it or hating it based on your own expectations. The acting is decent and the casting is good, but when you are already teased five of batman's most important villains, possibly six if you count the possible stand up comedian as a potential teaser (all within 45 minutes of the pilot), well at least for me my patience already is lost. This is a ham-fisted way to get started, pandering to both the drooling fanboys and the casual viewer that heard this is about batman. This could have been a nice addition, but "finesse" is a rarity on the big networks. If you are already buying this crap, there is nothing more i could say.
Crossbones (2014)
Great performances, pedestrian idea
I was intrigued, I have to say. The marketing for this seemed quite promising and with John Malkovich as the headliner, this had a lot of potential. What do we have though? A mysterious device (red flag) and the return of a long-dead Blackbeard (red flag)... I could go on, but other than the superb Hannibal, NBC has almost an aesthetic among its new dramatic programming of being preposterous and almost frivolous (this feels like it was made by the same creators of Crisis, a failed NBC experiment) think of this, there are literally three scenes of John Malkovich as Blackbeard (what?) giving an overblown hyperbolic threat of whatever existential threat he could throw at the protagonist within one hour. "You will be begging for death but it will be my duty to make sure that will be the very last thing you receive as you beg for mercy" or "if anything I know how to make legend and your friend will suffer the greatest..."I am not quoting, it is written in a pseudo Shakespearean dialect to make it sound authentic, but ultimately the first episode is completely full of crap from first minute to last. I mean when you have a show about Blackbeard and the show engines about a primitive GPS... For me, please. That's the least of the show's problems as of now. It's stupid fun so far, but I don't hold hope on it. Dumb.
Crisis (2014)
Entertaining failure
This is a new drama by NBC. In no way does it resemble a network thriller but rather silly 90's syndicated television. It's unrealistic, stupid, preposterous and tries to behave as serious primetime. I will just describe it as an entertaining failure. The show has no real characters but rather walking clichés. So much so I don't even remember any of the character names when watching. The FBI woman, the secret service guy, that dude, the character played by Gillian Anderson and the kids. All of the performances are phoned in and the storyline is so unrealistic it's absurd. If you are looking for something to take seriously, look elsewhere.
Dangerous Grounds (2012)
Decent.
For a reality program, this one is quite decent. It is filmed as it should be in a documentary format. Todd Carmichael is already known as a world traveler and videographer, so it's a good fit. The locations are exotic and the dangers, perhaps more so outside of the production, do have their dangers. I think my problem is that each episode's set-up seems awfully scripted and many of the scenes of danger at times feel set up or reenacted. Perhaps I am too cynical of this kind of programming, but Todd doesn't really help as he is constantly playing up the scenario so much that he appears to have a line of b.s. to sell. That being said, as a travelogue there is a organic chemistry that makes the show work.
Barry'd Treasure (2014)
Screwing around.
If you just like Barry Weiss, then I guess this show is for you. I like his personality and all but after watching the pilot I don't even know what this show is. I get the whole flipping idea, but all of these shows are so scripted that its pointless to criticize at this point. What I can gather he plays middle man between collectors, but that's a contrived concept from the start. I suspect this is another Thom Beers production (best buds). Anyway, the pilot is nothing but Barry d**king around. That's it. I am one of those people that wishes a show like Pawn Stars was more like a sleazy Antiques Roadshow. Barry's likable, give him a talkshow or something. This is just outright stupid and confusing, reality show producers need to stop flogging dead horses and be daring. This isn't a shame, it is shameful.
Flipping Vegas (2011)
Horrendous crap
When it comes to reality TV, you have a lot that are bad because there is no entertainment value or you have a series that is so scripted that it defies all logic and reason, with the case of Flipping Vegas you have both. The problems are numerous, one the real estate market is in the toilet so believing the numbers this show presents is a lot to swallow. But it is if each home that is purchased for this show is "themed", the stripper home, the frat home, the chop shop, the marijuana house... I've only caught a handful of episodes, but I would bet $100 that the show already featured a meth lab or will do so in the future. Then add in the cantankerous wife that insists on stepping on her husband's toes, the husband that is constantly whining, then add in regular characters like "the twins". It is absurd on its face and even though the production values are better than anything on TruTV may very well be the worst example of reality television broadcasting today. Of course it's on A&E which has the reality TV golden goose Duck Dynasty, but that's a whole other story in itself. My god.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2013)
Flaws!
Everyone loves Agent Coulson. I love Agent Coulson, but very quickly I am seeing Marvel jumping the shark. Marvel is working under the assumption that EVERYONE loves the Marvel movie series, good stuff. Good stuff. Marvel is also working under the assumption that everyone loves Joss Whedon, Will Wheaton, whoever... Ick. Look, it is glossy and fun, but it only lasts as long as a fan film can go. This pilot passes as a fan film. Coulson is a great PERIPHERAL character, but it is like putting too much salt on your food, add the fact the effects are obviously not as expensive as the films... SHIELD story lines in the comics can be more often than not annoying as heck... The casual viewer trying to tune in to get another Marvel Movie experience is going to get a generic franchise that is shooting itself in he foot. The pilot isn't dreadful, but the pilot is already too much of a good thing and it is tiresome. It needs to either go completely Marvel, or just accept this is NCIS with superheroes, and the fact it is playing at the exact same time as NCIS, well, I already know what to watch.
Hatfields & McCoys: White Lightning (2013)
Insulting.
Every time I think the History Channel couldn't sink any lower, it sooner or later proves me wrong. My brief experience here is a painful one. It is woefully scripted, completely unbelievable, like a sequence when the stereotyped redneck pulls out a knife and says "No McCoy is gonna touch this water!" I am a native West Virginian and lived there most of my life, and I know a bit about the Hatfield & McCoy feud as a result, and what we have here is a completely contrived piece of fiction, scripted to drum up fake drama and once again the Mountain State's name is dragged through the mud. I am ashamed at what the CEO's have done to the History Channel, and anybody who believes b.s. like this should be ashamed of themselves. I mean, heck even the accents are wrong. This is a complete insult. Unbelievable.
Hannibal (2013)
Great pilot, but is it moving too quickly?
Graham is a wonderful character, brilliantly seen and read in Red Dragon. This pilot is interesting because it kind of fits more with what we have seen with Manhunter, and that is perfectly fine with me.
I won't get into the plot, because we all know it. I will just simply say, this is a great pilot with some great familiar themes. My problem is it feels more like an episode of a miniseries rather than a TV show. I really hope Hannibal himself is pulled more into the background to allow for a network series gain some balance, because there is a lot of room for this to become a unique procedural drama. But I get nervous when an alphabet network gets a hold of a series like this because they inevitably begin to go for the cliché. Graham's visions, for example, I see becoming old if overdone. And if there is too much going on with the Lector story, this will burn out too fast.
I give this a six now, it could become a ten, but I see some things to be cautious about. If the show is smart enough to keep Hannibal as the secondary character he is meant to be and focus on Graham and the FBI, it has a good chance. Hannibal is a great antagonist, but the puppet master should not be seen unless need me.
This is NBC, there is a lot to worry about. If they want a Lector-heavy storyline then I hope they have an endgame in mind ala Breaking Bad, otherwise this will just burn out.
Fingers crossed.
The Following (2013)
It is what it is.
An interesting pilot, but I guess I was expecting something more. It's obvious that this is a cop show with a gimmick. I was hoping that the gimmick wouldn't get too much in the way of the plot, but this isn't AMC or whatever, it's network TV. As a result, the gimmick is the plot. One of the writers of Scream was behind this, and it shows. It's one of those horror-film-type- stories-that-makes-itself-out-to-be-more-clever-than-it-is. Still, as fluff entertainment, it works at that level. I guess I was just hoping for something more. A pilot is still a pilot, so maybe we'll see more growth beyond what we just saw. I'll watch it, there's nothing else to watch right now, and does what it does. I didn't want another Dexter-styled set piece type show, but here you go. Like it for what it is.
Comic Book Men (2012)
This is crap!!!!!!!!
I'm a nerd. Used to read comics every day, still love hearing about the characters and the stuff out there. Who the heck thought this was a good format? I didn't come here to see Kevin Smith and whoever the heck is talking on a radio show breaking in every 45 seconds when something interesting comes up. I want to see the crap they find, the crap people bring in and not this The View dork sewing circle crap. Just because Kevin Smith knows about comics and has a comic shop does it justify a format like this. If Smith needs to have a show like this so badly, go and run the store if he needs to justify being on camera. I stopped 20 minutes in and won't come back, it's not worth the time.
The Untitled Star Wars Mockumentary (2003)
CGI Rules! Go digital, go!!!
It's about friggin time this found its way onto IMDb. Damon follows up his epic, Reflections of Evil, with perhaps the most unflattering "fan film" ever made. Damon makes another poke at Hollywood at George Lucas' expense. Much like with Reflections, Damon turns a director we all know and love/hate and turn him into something archetypal. In the case of Reflections it was Spielberg. Damon utilizes footage from the "making of" documentaries for Attack of the Clones, and portrays Lucas as a raving madman who is out of touch with reality.
I know Damon says that the mockumentary was all in good fun, but there's a fair amount of vitriol that is present that makes the piece that much more flabbergasting.
If you like Reflections of Evil, you owe it to yourself to track this down. It contains all the quirks and madness that made Reflections such a great film and moves it along at a brisk 40 minutes or so.