Change Your Image
JannetS
Reviews
Dune World (2021)
I don't understand how someone could release this.
Like, was it a joke? Did the director just need a tax right off?... Or was this an actual attempt at making a movie... If so, it really saddens me that there are people on this planet with this little self awareness. I have seen bad movies before... this is not one of them, because it should not even be considered a movie.
Riders on the Storm (2020)
What even happened?
This movie was almost unwatchable, but I pulled through because I like supporting local cinema... but this movie is utter trash. The editing is repetitive, cutting to the same exact shots again, and again, and again. There is no momentum in the story it just drags along at iceberg pace. The dialog seems like it was written by a high school student. There is hardly a story to speak of. And it's overall just an ugly movie to look at. It's de-saturated to the point that it looks like it was unintentional and happened at the very last moment before it was uploaded. SKIP THIS MOVIE
Coup de Cinema (2011)
A perfect debut
I feel it's a almost right of passage for a filmmaker to stumble a bit with their first feature film. But every so often you get ones who nail it right out of the gate. Coup d Cinema is one of those times. Even more so impressively is that the director was just 21 years old with a budget of only $15,000. How he managed to pull that off is a testament to his talent.
The cast is great. The stand outs being he two leads Austin Hillebrecht (Who also co-wrote/directed it) and Dennis Fitzpatrick. But throughout the film all the characters have great chemistry. The dialog is snappy and well written. Almost Tarantino-esuqe, but without all the unnecessary fluff. The production value is also incredibly solid, specially for how low of a budget they had. Sound is clean, visuals are on point, and the whole film just glistens with professionalism.
Overall I highly recommend this one. You can catch it on Amazon Prime!
Crimson and Clover (2014)
One of the worst films I've ever seen
I had a chance to watch this when it played in Portland Hollywood Theater. I only went because I like to support local cinema. Crimson and Clover, however it's hardly what I even slightly classify cinema".
It was a plot less movie thrown together by a teenager who had no idea what the 60s felt or looked like. Every single character felt like a cardboard cut out, specially the dad - who was like a psychopath they hired on the spot to fill the role, but later realized he was insane and decided to leave him out the rest of the movie.
The main character (who was also the director, I might add), literally thinks he is the next Tom Cruise. He tried in every aspect of his performance to mixed a strange and dysfunctional hybrid with every actor he thought was cool. In the end he just looked ridiculous. He wrote a scene where he made out with the main actress for 5 minutes. It was PAINFUL.
The whole movie screamed of his pretentiousness, like the director knew it was going to be a modern classic. Even at the premier, he was so sure of himself. But every single person left feeling like they just wasted their time. I even spoke to people outside, and everyone was pretty much in shock and not sure how to break it to Isaac.
This movie is bad on every single level. The cinematography looks like it was shot on an iPhone3, the editing was like they just threw the footage on the timeline and called it good, the acting is wooden, and most of all the story is as thin as it gets. It's a guy getting a girl to smoke weed, and then a day later she rebels against society... right. Because that's exactly how it all works.
My biggest complaint is is the setting. If you're going to make a movie set in the 60s.... MAKE A MOVIE SET IN THE 60S. They clearly had a low budget, which I understand. But nothing looked period in anyway. If you're going make your first feature, do something that you don't have to go low-budget about. Why choose a period piece when you clearly don't have the means to replicate it?
I give this movie a 2. I know harsh, and I understand a kid made this, and it was his first film. But I'm treating it like I would any other movie. And this one is bottom of the barrel.
Deet N Bax Save Th' World (2015)
One of the worst films I've ever seen
Where to begin. I managed to find a free copy of it on youtube so thankfully I never paid for it. Nor should anyone. There is literally nothing good about this "film".
Let's starts with the script: It was as if a lazy 14 year old highschool student scrambled to slapt together at the last moment his assignment that was due for his writing 101 class.
Story: There was no story. Just two guys masturbating and crapping all over the screen. The entire "plot" of "saving the world" took place in the last act over a span of about 4-minutes. And it wasn't even the main characters who saved the world, it was some random goon. Then the plot shifted to an abysmally boring "sub"-plot with Wes Cage and how they stole his seeds... Why not just call the movie Deet n Bax steel seeds is beyond me. That's what the overall plot was about anyway. I think. But over all, the writer/director I don't think had a clue what he was doing.
Acting: ... None. Just a bunch of people rambling at the camera for a good hour. About nothing. I'm not kidding, there is no dialog in this movie. It's just the director having no idea how to write dialog so he asked his actors to just spit stuff out and use ALL of it in the final cut... Which brings me to...
The Editing:.... Holy ****. I haven't seen such poor editing in a "budgeted" film outside of a middleschool film project. For a movie with clearly money attached to it, you'd think they could have hired an actual editor and not just some guy who can use "cool effects on the puter". No, this has got to be some of the worst I've ever seen. Audio that clipped, horrible pacing, a terrible product placement that I don't think is actually a product showing up literally ever 2 minutes. Did the producers not know how product placement work? Did they think they needed to create one in order to have one? How is that helping them!? Product placement is meant for the producer to get money for the product!
The Humor: Hah! The funniest part of the movie was that they thought they were being funny. The jokes were like a 50 year old was trying to cater to a younger audience. It was painful.
The best part of all of this... It was so confident in itself. It knew it was going to succeed. And now all that "420k" budget is going to never be returned again.
This honestly belongs on the IMDb bottom 100.
The Falls (2012)
To be 100% honest, this was nearly unwatchable.
I know this is a low rating... But I really had no choice and honest is the best way.
Right off the bat, the low-budget became apparent by the sub-par visual and sound design. The sound was scratchy and echoey, mostly in interior locations and at times the actor's voices were not even audible. But visually, it just flat out ugly. The entire film had a thick layer of digital grain accompanied by blank white walls and out-of-focus close ups that made the entire picture look like it was shot by a 1st year cinematography student.
But then came the acting and writing, both of which left much to be desired as many of the actors were stiff and unrealistic when reading lines. Most of the dialog meandered and the actors just sort of kept talking, but about nothing interesting in particular. And then the characters and "story" came into play. The story was two men falling in love, and in the midst they... walk and talk... and, walk and talk some more for over an hour. Then visit a war vet and sit and talk for 20 minutes with him. A character who served nothing to the story what so ever other than provide the two weed and... stories. That's IT.
I didn't care for a single character in the whole movie. The two leads had zero chemistry with each other. I could tell that neither of them were actually gay because their kisses with each other felt forced and sometimes even straight up awkward. The part that shocked me the most was in the woods, after they had just got done peeing... They decide to blow each other.... So they literally blew each other RIGHT after peeing. The rest of the day they were talking around with pee/man gravy breath. Did no one see how unintentionally hilarious that was!?
I congratulate the filmmakers for making an entire feature. But still, this was an entire waste of time. I hope their next movie will be better.