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xnrat
Reviews
Le premier cercle (2009)
What the hell...
...where the other reviewers watching? I don't write reviews very often. Most of the time I do it to do justice. To set all those reviews from a parallel dimension straight.
Inner Ring is not a good movie. It is not resourceful, the ending is not surprising and neither Reno, nor Ulliel have delivered their best performances here.
The character development in this movie is so bad, it will make you cringe. As is the storytelling. I am beginning to suspect that this is a French thing, as I have seen it before. Scenes are cut together, seemingly at random. No segways, no connection to other scenes. There are apparently huge leaps in time that the viewer is completely unaware of, until a scene just doesn't make any sense. You will think "Oh, I guess some months went by" and maybe even shrug your shoulders. And slowly you will begin to lose interest in this movie. The characters apparently develop off-screen. Which is a bad thing, because this is a friggin' movie! You are supposed to see what is going on. So the audience can build a relationship with the characters. This movie fails in doing so.
I conclude with the plead to look at the overall rating, which is not very good. Please, don't believe any review that rates this movie higher than 5.
Oldeuboi (2003)
Why?
Why? That is the main question about this movie. When I watched this movie it didn't yet have its devoted followers. I just wanted to enjoy an Asian movie a friend had recommended. And as I like many Asian movies I had fairly high hopes. As you can tell by my rating of it they were disappointed.
Why does this movie have such a high rating? What is there that I am not seeing?
It starts with a nice enough premise. A guy imprisoned for 15 years with no idea to the Why? and then, after suddenly being released, trying to find out what he did to deserve it. Well, that could be something! And it could have been. But, at least to me, it seemed the script didn't quite know where to go. Instead the lack of a coherent script is covered up in lots and lots of violence. And it is quite obvious that the violence is only used for shock and awe, which doesn't make a good movie.
The two big twists are utter letdowns. The reason for his imprisonment is a joke. They should've gone with complete lack of reason, like in Cube. But as it is, it is just dumb. And then there is this incest theme which also seems to serve no other purpose than to shock people.
Maybe I am too old to just watch a movie because it is shocking. I certainly don't think a movie is good just because it is trying very hard to break as many taboos as possible.
There is absolutely nothing that sets this movie apart from many other movies. No great achievements in acting, story, script, music, cinematography. Absolutely none. Yet it receives very high ratings. I really don't understand why.
Joeun nom, napun nom, esanghan nom (2008)
Not a good movie
I have honestly no idea why Korean movies are so popular and get such high ratings. This is no exception. Don't get me wrong, it isn't really a bad movie. But it is also not a good movie. I was pondering a while between giving it a 5 or a 6 and then decided on a 5.
This movie didn't make me laugh, it didn't have me on the edge of my seat and there really is nothing to think about. Overall it is a very bland experience.
The acting is meh. The Bad made me cringe because Asians in general have a problem to be bad and cool at the same time. Instead of just being bad he reminded me of Goofy's evil twin, if Goofy would've been in a boy band. The story is laughable, no time went into writing the script. And the action scenes are so-so.
I can't recommend this movie.
Shutter Island (2010)
What a let down
I didn't like this movie. Not one bit.
It started with the music, which was way too intrusive. Not moody, intrusive. You don't notice a good score, it just is there, blends in with the pictures and sets the mood. Here the score comes over to your table, insults your lady and spills its drink unto your lap.
But the biggest disappointment was the conclusion. I will spoil it now, so bugger off if you haven't seen the movie. It was all in his mind. Great, I have never heard that one before. Mental institutions have become such a movie cliché that whenever I see one I know the big question will be whether what we see is all in somebody's mind.
My tip: watch the first hour, the acting is really good, the sets are fine. When DiCaprio has his breakdown in Kingsley's office, skip to the end in the lighthouse and finish it from there. Although if you like hallucinations or take drugs on a regular basis you might enjoy the crap that happens between those two scenes.
Dragon Hunter (2009)
No surprise
If you take a look at the rating the experience of watching this movie will offer you no surprises. It is not a good movie. I will go even so far as to call it a bad movie.
Now, as to what makes this movie so bad, I would say "the characters". Oh, I might even exclaim "The characters!". For they possess absolutely no depth. They are shallow husks, waiting to be filled with life and back story. And the the other thing is the really bad camera work. Whenever there is a fight scene the camera starts shaking so you can't make out anything. I am not yet sure if the camera operator got a seizure from excitement or if he got bored and started polishing Lord Vader's helmet, if you catch my meaning. I hope it was the latter, so at least one person got some fun out of this whole mess.
Cargo (2009)
Flawed
Cargo is quite nice, especially considering it counts as an indie movie. And it is from Switzerland, a country not known for its professional movie industry.
I was trying to enjoy it and that was working really well for a while, but after about an hour the movie lost me. Especially in the second half there are too many scenes that just drag on and on. I think you could easily cut 30 minutes out and get a more gripping movie. Because, quite frankly, I was bored by Cargo. Bored to the point that I skipped through the last half hour. The fact that I know when I started skipping tells enough, because it means I got so bored I went to see how much longer the movie was going to run.
The big plot idea is pretty obvious after the big find they make. And yet the movie goes on another hour.
Also, I read this in another review, the sound is messed up. It is not only noticeable, but quite annoying. Too much on the surround speakers, not enough on the center.
I only give it 5 out of 10 for its many flaws. But go and see for yourself. Maybe you can enjoy it. It is obvious that a lot of work went into this movie and it would be a shame if people don't see it.
District 9 (2009)
Very good, but...
This is easily the best science fiction movie of the last few years. But if you haven't seen this, try to avoid the hype. It is hard, I know. I tried and failed and left the cinema a bit disappointed.
As I said, it is a really good movie. No doubt about that. But it is not a movie deserving 10 points. 8 definitely, 9 if you wanna get nasty.
What I liked was how the aliens were portrayed. What I didn't like was the overall feel. I thought it felt like a franchise. So many questions were left unanswered, which nowadays usually means there is a television show up around the corner. And the ending was screaming "District 10" right into my face. In my eyes that cheapened the entire experience considerably.
Knowing (2009)
Listen to the critics.
This movie is really bad. It starts off OK enough, but it doesn't go anywhere from there. The first time it got really ridiculous I checked and it was only half-way through the movie.
You kinda get the feeling the author himself didn't know what to do with the story, so he snorted the ground-up works of L. Ron Hubbard with a few chapters from the Bible before writing the end. If you read other comments that said "the end sucks a golf ball through a garden hose": trust them, they are right.
"Knowing" could have been nice, but the second half completely ruins it.
The Last Templar (2009)
Really bad
The book "The Last Templar" is a cheap ride, just like Dan Brown's books, which it was coat-tailing. But apparently the makers of this two-part movie felt it wasn't cheap enough.
Especially the writing and the acting are quite appalling. The characters are annoying and they are portrayed without any sensibility. My guess is this was the fault of the director, as I have seen Mira Sorvino do a lot better.
You can see that this movies was thrown quickly together to cash in on the hype created by Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons. Buy some license, fold in a metric sithload of clichés and wrap it up in two weeks.
Disclaimer: I have only seen the first part. It was so bad I really didn't wanna waste my time with the rest. My suggestion for you is to not even bother with the first part.
Transporter 3 (2008)
Fun romp
Jason Statham is the king of contemporary action B movies. With both the Transporter and the Crank franchise he delivers fun action that is under no circumstances to be taken seriously. I mean, the tag line for Crank 2 is "He was dead... he got better". If you can read this and still complain about the movie not being realistic and having to suspend disbelief... wow, you are on the wrong planet.
Coming back to Transporter 3. It's fun. The action is fine. Even lakes and trains can't stop Jason. The girl is a bit annoying at times, but, hey, nobody's perfect.
If you liked the first two Transporters and Crank, go watch this movie. You will be entertained.
If, however, you are more into action that is hyper-realistic and a re-enactment of actual events... stop posting on the internet.
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune (2007)
Very repetitive
I can't understand how this game gets rated so good. You just fight against one wave of enemies after another. At least to me this kind of game play is *really* boring.
Of course you get great atmosphere and graphics. But, alas, those count for nothing when all you have to do is fight and fight and fight. Sure, it is labeled as an Action-Adventure. Unfortunately the emphasis is on Action rather than Adventure. If that is what you seek, Uncharted is great, I guess. However, if you are like me and you enjoy a good story over a good fight, stay away from this game. It is not worth your time and money.
Æon Flux (2005)
Better than expected
I watched the original comic series this movie is based on and really liked that one. But this was back in the days, I was younger, of course, and so I had mixed feelings when I went to see the adaptation on the big screen. To my surprise the movie wasn't that bad at all. It was far from being great, granted. But it entertains for the most part, which can't be said about many other films, which are broadly praised.
The acting is good, the effects are good and the sets are really good. And they really made Charlize Theron wear some of Aeon Flux' silly outfits.
The major weakness in my opinion is the level of seriousness the movie tries to keep. It just doesn't work. They either should have thrown in a little humor or deviate more from the comic. But being as it is, the movie got a bit slow at times. At least it is not expected for you to know the comic series.
Go and give this movie a try. Honestly, it's not as bad as many people say. If you like SF you will at least be entertained for 90 minutes.
Conspiracy (2008)
Seagalesque
This movie sucked. I mean... wow. I surely didn't expect a masterpiece. But the actual level of suckitude left me speechless and almost breathless, as if my body was trying to rescue itself into sweet unconsciousness. It reminded me, and heavily at that, of Steven Seagal. But not the Seagal of "Under Siege" or "On Deadly Ground", who we all came to love. No, I mean the Steven Seagal who brought us straight-to-video suckfests like "Black Dawn".
Val Kilmer, like Seagal, is just a blimp, floating through the foggy remains of a story, while it rains wooden puppets. Who of course are the other actors in my weird little analogy.
Every little thing in this movie is bad and sucks in ways where there are no more words to articulate a warning. So let me just say this: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE! Thank you for your attention.
Meet the Spartans (2008)
Huge pile of crap
Avoid this movie at all costs. Its humor is unimaginative, childish and, this is the worst offense for comedy, really boring.
I avoided this whole genre after Scary Movie 4 was such an utter disappointment. But then Walk Hard gave me back the faith and I tried Meet the Spartans. But unfortunately it was even worse than Scary Movie 4.
This movie works apparently well for females under the age of 18. I never knew a girl who would have laughed at such sith. But hey, times change and maybe this demographic has actually devolved.
So, to repeat myself, avoid this movie! Don't waste time or money on this.
Babel (2006)
Tedious to watch
I avoided this movie for a long time, after a friend told me that it was one of the worst movies she ever saw. But finally I gave into the curiousness and watched Babel. And I have to say that it was really as bad as I was told.
The actors were good, for the most part. Unfortunately that can't be said for the script. Some movies have a habit of throwing bits and pieces at the audience and expect them to make up their own story. That can be good, if it is done well. Of course my point is that in Babel it is not done well at all. Some characters desperately needed at least some back story, so we actually would give a sith about them.
On the other hand the writer had no problem shoving horribly constructed failures of communication unto our laps. I wouldn't have minded to think a bit more on my own there or see a more subtle approach at an otherwise interesting subject. And it wasn't really necessary to stretch the quite thin story way over two hours. 30 to 45 minutes would have been quite enough for this basic idea.
To sum it up, I would say that the writer made some poor choices at where the audience should think for themselves and where not. As did the director when he decided to drag out a story that would easily fit on a coaster over 143 minutes.
Watch this only when you have a remote control at hand to skip or fast forward.
Dante 01 (2008)
Disappointing
The movie starts off OK with very nice visuals. But then the story sets in and it all goes downhill. It's not the fault of the actors, they deliver good performances. But the story is pretty bad and while the dark space station sets a claustrophobic mood at first, it starts to get annoying at some point. If you read other comments someone probably wrote "a movie for the thinking man", as some moron always does. Don't let that fool you. This movie is not very good and there is not much to think about. The basic idea, a space station for secret research, is not exactly new and neither is "homo homini lupus", man is a wolf to man. If that is actually new to you, I recommend the book "The Shock Doctrine" by Naomi Klein and not a crappy science fiction movie.
What this movie sums up to is the washed up back story of House on Haunted Hill, wrapped in a messianic blanket IN SPACE. If you like that, fine, suit yourself. But any thinking man should go watch something else.
Ultraviolet (2006)
Quite entertaining...
...if you don't expect too much. After all this movie is based on a comic book and this genre traditionally falls short on some things like story and characters. But Ultraviolet is not that bad. Granted, there is no character development and the story is as dull and uninspired as in Equilibrium. I think the main reason why the hate of all the Equilibrium fan boys burns with the heat of a thousand suns is because this is not Equilibrium 2. But Ultraviolet succeeds with its own set of imagery and nice ideas, like for example zero-point storage. If you really want to compare Equilibrium and Ultraviolet I'd have to say that I liked U better, because I could watch it from beginning to end, without skipping chapters out of boredom like in E. Though I have to say my mind was set on extremely low expectations after watching the Segal suck-fest "Black Dawn" right before.
Anyway, don't let the negative comments fool you. Ultraviolet is quite enjoyable when all you want is mindless action with nice images.
Danny the Dog (2005)
Mediocre fighting movie
I like Jet Li. I like Luc Besson. I like Morgan Freeman. But I don't like "Unleashed".
The actors weren't bad, when looking at them separately. It is the big picture where this movie fails. It seems Besson couldn't manage to assemble the different parts in a way that doesn't seem incoherent at times.
For example, the fighting and the story don't quite fit together. They tried to please both audiences. Those who are looking for a good story and good acting and the action crowd. Though in my opinion one should have been put out more prominent than the other, be it either one.
And then there are the plot holes. Of which there are quite some. Who was the bald guy in white? What happened to the armed thugs Bart had to wait outside when he confronted Danny in the end? What happened to the jeweler? Maybe a director's cut with more scenes added could change my opinion if this movie. Being as it is, I'm only giving it 4 out of 10.
Wing Commander (1999)
You might reconsider
I liked the acting. There were no top class actors and I really missed Mark Hamill and Malcom McDowell. But there were a lot of actors I like.
As a fan of the original games, especially part 3, this movie could've been a bit more than the games, casting the original actors and such. And instead of the fighting more story development would've been quite nice. I remember the ending of WC3 as being gloomy, with the Kilrathi home world being destroyed by mankind. A story like that... ah, this movie would be great. Instead we have a cheesy standard action plot. We are at war, the enemy stole a plot device and is threatening our whole race. Yawn.
Well, the potential was out there, the movie didn't catch it. Sad, sad. But they still managed to make a decent SF movie. There are definitely worse movies than WC.
Heat (1995)
Why?
Why do the characters I like always have to die? Heat is such a great movie. Excellent acting, good story. But the ending... It's like flirting with a really hot member of the opposite sex, making you all excited and then receiving a punch to the face.
Hanna was such an unsympathetic guy, while the gangster Neil was so nice. These two characters just stood on the opposite sides of the law by accident. It could've easily been the other way round. So far so good. You have two main characters portrayed by excellent actors, supported by good actors. I'm sure other comments point out how the good guy is shown as a driven, lonely man, while the antagonist is intelligent and reserved.
I for my part can more identify with the latter. He kills people, sure. But Hanna is no different. Both are men who do what they have to do in order to reach their goals.
When I watch this movie I turn the DVD player off when Neil is on his way to the airport. I just can't stand the ending.
The Jackal (1997)
Willis good, Gere bad
Let's face it - except for Bruce Willis' excellent performance as the amoral killer this movie sucks. Big time.
The story had a few holes I could put my arm through. Like at the horrible, disgusting ending. He could control the gun from virtually any point in the world - but he chooses to sit 10 feet away from it. Christ. I nearly walked out of the theater when I saw this. Up until to that point I really liked the movie. Bruce was great, Gere's character sucked. But I could live with that. But from then on it went downhill. Oh boy. They literally drove it into the ground.
Coming to think about it.. it was Gere's character that ruined an otherwise good movie. He was way too good. His dark past as an IRA terrorist is mentioned in two sentences. From there he is the hero. The good guy. A role Gere plays with a disgusting nice guy attitude and a horrible Irish accent.
And then there is the finale. The big shootout. I could've lived with all the aforementioned would've been there another ending. My god. The jackal, near death, ready to shoot Mulqueen but then Isabella pops out of nowhere and takes vengeance. Bah.
So, 7 out of 10 until Bruce appears in the police uniform.
Before Sunset (2004)
Better than their first one
This is one of the rare cases where a film based on another movie is better than the original. Way better. I watched "Before Sunrise" after I saw this one and was quite disappointed. The actors and the story are more mature in the sequel. Maybe I am too old to identify with the mid-twenty Jesse and Celine and feel more comfortable with the mid-thirties you see in "Before Sunset". If you watched "Before Sunrise" you can see what difference nine years make. They both have their lives, they both are less adventurous then they were back then. But as they wander through the beautiful set of Paris, talking about anything, the two remember and regret what they had back then and what decisions they made. What could've been? And what could be? The movie follows a slow pace, Celine and Jesse just walk through Paris, talking. But the movie is far from being boring. After it was over I couldn't believe over an hour had passed. I don't know if you have to be of a certain age to really like this movie. If you don't need action to enjoy a movie give this one a try.
Agents secrets (2004)
Well, that was boring
I wonder what this movie was all about. I failed at grasping the story - assuming there was one. The characters just showed up on some locations, doing hell knows what. The whole movie is so damn incoherent. At the beginning they explain what will happen next. I don't know if the director wanted the following scenes to be as mysterious as the secret agent business is to normal people. Despite from being as unrealistic as I'd expect from a movie like this, it's painfully incoherent. Did I mention this? At one scene the characters are doing their job for whomever at the next they are doing something else. I never knew why they did all this. The only thing I got was the revenge George took in Madrid. Everything else remains a mystery to me. And while I was still looking out for a conclusion that would've given the story any sense the credits started rolling by, leaving me very disappointed.