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BeafyBear
Reviews
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Piece of crap movie
Just watched the DVD of Anchorman and thought it was a total waste of time. We laughed exactly once.
To say that the characters and storyline are half-baked would be an overstatement. We were totally in the mood to laugh our asses off and were completely disappointed.
The few good things I can offer:
--Christina Applegate looks marvelous and is a good comedian --PaulRudd delivered some of the funniest moments --Jack Black was a giggle(not a full-on laugh) --Ben Stiller is also funny, but only on for about 1 minute
Ugh. It's so awful, that you'll want the time back. They dropped the ball so many times that it's embarrassing.
A Home at the End of the World (2004)
Beautiful, but flawed...
After reading (and loving) the book, A Home at the End of the World, a few months ago, I was eager to see the movie.
Unlike many other projects, I found that the movie version of this piece came very close to how I had visualized it as I read the book. Settings looked like I imagined they would and for the most part, so did the actors.
I was disappointed, however, that so much had been left out of the movie--not just scenes, but entire characters that I feel would have made the movie better. I'm not sure why the changes were made, but they left many things completely unexplained and under developed. A friend that had not read the book watched the movie with me. I asked him if he had derived several key points from the way the movie was constructed and he had not. I also felt like the movie was rushing to get as much in as it could, but needed another 30 minutes to fully capture the book. From the very start, I felt as though I was seeing the Reader's Digest version of the story.
Colin Farrell gave a beautiful performance as Bobby. I adored him. And Sissy Spacek was excellent, though I wish her role had been as large as it was in the book. Robin Wright Penn was wonderful too.
I can easily imagine myself watching this movie again.
White Chicks (2004)
Dreadful...just plain awful
Just watched this on DVD and while I wasn't expecting much, I was holding out hope that there would be some belly laughs. Not even...
This movie is beyond stupid. It totally insults the intelligence of its audience. And I mean all of it. Even the audience that goes to movies just to talk to the screen or on their cell phones while the movie is playing.
Of course we have to let go of reality to accept that the friends of the girls, oh hell...anyone, for that matter, can't see that these "chicks" aren't real. But what I found more insulting is that we're expected to buy that these guys work for the FBI. The Wayans brothers may be sort of funny and some may think they are handsome. But they ain't bright. Certainly not bright enough to pull off playing FBI agents. Why not make them cops instead? But I'm giving this too much thought.
When your friends look at you and ask when the movie is going to get funny, it's time to turn it off.
Thank Cheeseass I didn't pay real money to see this. It's obvious who the intended audience is, and me and my friends just can't get that low brow.
Black Magic (1944)
Dreadful insult to all Chan fans...
I was laid up in bed for a few days and thought some old favorites would keep me company--Charlie Chan movies sprang to mind. So I rented this one that is out on DVD and available from Netflix. What dreadful crap this is...
Gone is all the allure and fun of the original Chan movies. These are just rip-offs, filmed on the cheesiest of sets (I'm not sure we can even call them sets). What character development there is, is even worse, and relies heavily on the shrug or a roll of the eyes.
And I missed Jimmy Chan. Here we get to see Frances Chan, Charlie's daughter. She's very nice to look at, but she can not act her way out of an egg roll.
The only thing this film did for me is make me want to see the real Chan films that were far superior.
Madigan (1968)
Does not hold up well
I just watched Madigan on Turner Classics. I had never heard of it prior.
While the police/crime genre isn't my favorite, I keep on open mind. This film disappoints on many levels. For starters, it really doesn't hold up well. It's highly melodramatic, and looks and feels about as realistic as a bad episode of Barnaby Jones. And apparently 1968 New York City was about as populated as Mayberry.
Inger Stevens is beautiful to watch, in an idiotic role. We're to believe that Richard Widmark has really got it going on with the women. Um, about as sexy as Bing Crosby, thank you. And about as youthful. Henry Fonda plays Henry Fonda phoning in his performance.
The music is way too loud and overpowering. I guess it's typical of the time, but still it was over the top and intrusive.
Bottom line: Totally unrealistic characters, dialog. Cheesy set design. The film is just all over the place.
Murder on the Orient Express (2001)
this is dreadful
This is an awful adaptation.
It's so obvious that CBS just dragged this out again to maximize the popularity of Alfred Molina these days (Spiderman 2, Fiddler on the Roof).
The only aspect of this production that held my interest was the set design/art direction. The acting was totally "Movie of the Week", as was the script.
This really did not need to be udpated. Who was it updated for? Those that enjoyed the original will be disappointed.
It's just dreadful.
Avoid it.
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
See it on the big screen, but pay matinee price!
Went to see DAT last night and have to say that I'm barely thinking about it the day after.
Yes, almost all of the special effects are good, but we saw almost all of them in the 10-minute preview that was shown on FOX. Anyway...the New York flood special effects are very well done.
The story and dialog are all at 5th grade level and there are several characters/plot lines that are totally not needed and bring nothingto the experience.
I went to this movie not expecting much. I figured I'd just enjoy some popcorn and watch things be destroyed. Even with that mindset, I left the movie feeling...nothing. And for a summer blockbuster, there couldn't have been more than 50 people in the theatre (Chicago).
I have an awesome 60-inch big screen at home and I added DAT to my Netflix list in advance of seeing the movie, thinking that I would have to see the special effects again with a remote control in my hand. Not gonna happen. I don't need to sit through it again.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)
Lighthearted romp
Just watched NL's Van Wilder and liked it a whole lot more than I expected to. Well, actually, after a long week of work, I was interested in something mindless and funny. This movie fit that need. I enjoyed it becasue I didn't ask much of it.
I was pleasantly surprised by Ryan Reynold's performance, which I thought was dead-on. I thought he gave just the right amount of over the top and tongue in cheek delivery.
The thing I liked least about the film was Tara Reid. She looked great in some scenes and in others she looked like she had been on a bender. There must be thousands of beautiful blond actresses that would have been better.
If you're easily offended, it's not for you. But for mindless humor, it's AOK.
Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)
Comfortable as an old shoe...
This movie is definitely on my Top 20 list of all time favorite movies. Whenever I come across it while channel surfing, I end up watching it again-and I hate watching movies that are edited for TV!
As others have pointed out, it showcases so many talented actors. Joan Allen is great here, as is Catherine Hicks. And the amazing Barbara Harris, whom I adore for her work on the stage, is excellent and dead-on as Peggy's mother. Jim Carrey is here as well and surprise, he's overacting in most of his scenes! While I've never completely figured out why Nicholas Cage was encouraged to employ the weird-ass voice that he did, his performance winds up being very likeable. Barry Miller is also great as Richard.
The premise is cool. Who among us wouldn't want to have such and opportunity (OK, maybe not the passing out in public part)? As a person that grew up in the 60s, I'd love to return and see some of the sights and sounds that filled my innocent, pre-Internet world. And the scene when Peggy hears her Grandmother's voice on the phone makes me cry every time.
I likey!
Dark Victory (1939)
Waaaaaaaaaa!
The ultimate Betty Davis tear jerker! Plus, it has some wonderful lines that Davis absolutely throws at the audience, like "I'll have a large order of PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE!"
As a child I saw this movie on the late, late show. When Davis starts wearing that little pixie-ish hat to cover her brain surgery, I always imagined that underneath her entire brain was exposed! What can I say? I guess I was foreshadowing, Hannibal!
A great movie for that rainy day on the couch!
Strait-Jacket (1964)
Fan-freakin-tastic!
This film is a total camp-classic. If you're into camp, Crawford and the 50s it is a must see.
Most memorable moments from this film for me:
Crawford striking a match across a moving record to light her cigarette. To say nothing of the way she stands there clapping her hands are getting into the music. Plus, she has, like, one sip of her cocktail and is suddenly completely drunk!
Notice the spotlight on the Pepsi Cola on the kitchen counter. It's darn hard to miss and is an early, heavy-handed example of product placement for Miss Crawford herself.
Oh, and the scene where she and her daughter go into town to get Joan gussied up and find a Craford-esque hairdo (wig) in a store window just waiting to be plopped on top of Mommie Dearest's head!
But I think the scene I like very best is when Joan (liquored and loose) starts hitting on her daughter's fiance and how completely bothered he gets by it. He plays the scene like she's getting him so hot that he doesn't know if he can calm down or if he's gonna have to get it on with her right then and there! Of course, this was basically written into most of Crawford's later contracts apparently--that every man in the movie will want to have her soooo bad that it hurts--even though she's beyond grandma age!
I adore Crawford and this movie does not disappoint. Sheck it out!
Valley of the Dolls (1967)
What a trip!
I adore this movie and hope that it will be made available on DVD, though I wouldn't expect any commentary from the actors...
I once saw Patty Duke interviewed and she stated the she "needs an airplane sick bag" in order to watch the movie. It may be painful for her to watch/remember, but it's pure entertainment to me! I was around 10 years old when I saw it for the first time, and from that moment forward I have have always eaten my M&Ms like I am eating a handful of "dolls". :-)
And the film includes so many idiotic moments...like when Neely finishes her number in the big TV telethon and then just dances for the camera when she is asked to stay longer.
To this day, I can't ride a train without gazing out the window like Barbara Parkins on her way to Lawrencville. And that's quite a move move, as I am a 275 pound, hairy-azzed male!
A camp classic...
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Underwhelming....
Took in Terminator 3 over the holiday weekend and was totally underwhelmed. Yes, the chase with the crane is very well done...maybe even one of the best I have ever seen. But all the other sequences in the first portion of the film looked so fake...right off the back lot. And going back to the trough for more of the same set up of how Arnold (long in the tooth) got his clothes was insulting and SO summer movie...
Clair Danes in the best thing in the movie.
When it was over, nearly all of the people in the theatre got up and left before the credits had even begun rolling. And there was no cheering or shouting from the audience.
A matinee flick. Don't spend $8+ to go see this prime time.