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The Douchebag's Guide to Zombie Films
The Douchebag's Guide to Your Crappy Horror Film Collection
The Douchebag's Guide to Your Crappy Comedy Film Collection
The Douchebag's Guide to the Cinema of Stephen King
Reviews
Death Race 2 (2010)
The Race is On!
Directed by Netherlander Roel Reiné and scripted by Tony Giglio, with a story by Paul W.S. Anderson, Death Race 2 serves as a prequel rather than a sequel, despite the "2″ designation. Not only does this installment introduce viewers to the beginnings of the Death Race but also the origin of one of Roger Corman's coolest characters, Frankenstein. Originally played by David Carradine in '75′s Death Race 2000 and Jason Statham in the 'o8 remake, Luke Goss delivers a fun, though entirely too short, sequence or two as the legendary bad ass. His primary character Carl Lucas on the other hand was a lackluster anti-hero with a great face but very little charisma. Surrounded by the likes of cult actor Danny Trejo, Ving Rhames and Sean Bean though, one barely takes notice of any shortcomings Goss (or the script) might have had.
Death Race 2 offers a bit more than the average direct-to-DVD sequel, delivering massive explosions, bloody violence, beautiful women, colorful villains and, naturally, a thrilling race. Surprisingly entertaining, this prequel disguised as a sequel comes clean with everything you see on the DVD cover plus a few shocking extras to boot. Nothing worthy of purchasing but a rental should be in order for fans of the previous films.
Wasteland Tales (2010)
Post-Nuke for a New Generation!
Awhile back I came across mention of this short film anthology and found myself incredibly intrigued as I'm a huge fan of post-nuke cinema, specifically the Italian variety. With a name like Shaky González attached to this project I was certain it would be entertaining at the very least but could a group of Danish filmmakers really craft their own distinct interpretations of the sub-genre while still maintaining a certain amount of respect for the source material? In my opinion the filmmakers and distro company behind Wasteland Tales have done a damn good job of doing just that! The first three selections on this anthology were definitely the best; González's "The Last Warrior" was outrageously cool and undoubtedly the most commercial of the lot but Christensen's "Connected" was nothing short of visually-stunning. Both shorts are begging for feature-length treatments. "Eastern Army" was decent as well though it suffered from weak fight sequences and a few predictable story elements.
The remaining three shorts we all good as well in their own way but each had issues I found hard to overlook, like the absurdity of Sakurai's "I Barbari Dei CPH" (reminded me of Mungia's Six-String Samurai) and the lack of even remotely convincing "zombies & mutants" in Jensen's "Max Fury." Concerning The Sun King's "Tutorial – How to Kill a Racist," well it sort of came across more like an anti-racism infomercial; like preachy propaganda mixed with some brutal, video game violence. There was certainly a point being made that I agree with but I wanted post-nuke action and it didn't satisfy that craving at all.
Bottom line, wonderful! Wasteland Tales kicks all kinds of ass with well-produced and entertaining shorts and is a must-see release for post-nuke fans and a must-have addition to cult cinema collections. Not only was this packed with cool shorts for our viewing pleasure but there were quite a few extras as well including trailers, Another World DVD trailers, bios, a intro on Movie Battle 2010 and some stills and artwork. Very fun and informative stuff. Let's hope the success of this release warrants future anthology releases or even a release of the last Movie Battle 2007: Grindhouse shorts.
Proie (2010)
Far From "Boaring"
I know this film has received quite a bit of press and discussion on the Wildside forums but for some reason I was at a loss for what this film was about when I first rented it. As it progressed, I got the picture rather quick as Prey doesn't take long at all to jump into the thick of things. It's no surprise (or spoiler) that Prey's killer pigs aren't normal but I probably should warn creature feature fans that these particular piggies aren't of the deformed variety. They do, however, appear to be real deal FX creations (which they reveal sparingly) instead of CG though and that really helped me remain within the film.
The actors all performed admirably but their characters were, in my opinion, rather bland and lacked personality. Not only did they come off flat but their motivations will be disappointingly apparent to astute viewers, leading to a predictability that siphons away some of the impact of the finale. I found myself losing interest in the fates of the characters, even the remotely likable ones, of which there weren't many. There's certainly more than enough tension to hold your attention though and it never lets up, not even for a minute.
Prey is a decent thriller with some gruesome sequences of woodland carnage but it's nothing I could see myself watching again or even purchasing for my personal collection. When it comes to killer pig flicks, it is infinitely superior exercise in suspense than a film like Pig Hunt, which was completely gonzo, but the ecological disaster concept is stale and the entire film lacks replay value for me. Still
not a bad film so give it a shot, you may enjoy it.
The Peace Killers (1971)
Filthy Biker Scum!
Every now and then one must set aside the horror and Kung Fu in order to watch a little sleazy Bikersploitation and, to my surprise, Comcast's Action On Demand channel 'Impact' not only offered this film but featured it in HD! It still looked crap. That's not the point though, right? What we want from a film called The Peace Killers is a violent, sleazy biker flick and that's just what we get here. Mixing equal parts Hicksploitation and Blaxploitation, "Thunder in Paradise" and "Baywatch" creator Douglas Schwartz created a nasty little steamer of a film worth checking out, if you're a fan of exploitation.
The Peace Killers isn't a great film by any means; the acting was acceptable for low budget acting, the fight sequences were poorly choreographed and the deaths were completely unconvincing. In other words, it's the type of exploitation we've all come to know and love with just the right amount of nudity, rape and hot hippie ass to keep viewer's from setting down the remote and walking away or turning the channel. While all of this may sound negative, it isn't. I found myself slightly entertained despite this film's shortcomings. I can't recommend this film to those unfamiliar with Bikersploitation, or exploitation in general, but those "in the know" will probably want to check it out. Cowboy's crazy eye commands you!
Death of a Snowman (1976)
They Made Blaxploitation in Africa?!!
I know exploitation cinema isn't exclusive to America, many countries around the world have made and continue to make exploitation, but I have to say that I'm rather surprised to see a Blaxploitation film hailing from South Africa. I suppose when you think about it though, considering all of the political and racial strife South Africa has seen, Blaxploitation cinema definitely makes sense. Naturally this isn't the first time this particular film has seen release here in the states, a company called EastWest (likely a bootleg outfit) is still currently selling the "Soul Patrol" version of Death of a Snowman which runs one minute shorter than Synapse's. I know BCI also owned the rights to this a few years back though I can't seem to find any indication that it was indeed actually released.
Anyhow, the film itself was quite entertaining; there were a few sequences that seemed to drag along here and there but actors Davenport (lovin' his Sean Connery beard!) and Gampu were likable characters with a laid back, believable relationship. Seeing Gampu portray a respectable Blaxploitation hero with a strong moral compass was also a refreshing change-up from the usual pimps, pushers, hustlers, gangsters and vigilantes that typified the sub-genre.
Basically the action was right on point, violence over-the-top and the score was wonderful as it was filled with dark grooves and fast-paced action funk so, for me, everything about Death of a Snowman just felt right. As I said, there were a few lulls but this is exploitation
not Fellini. If there weren't some dull moments and missed opportunities for nudity, I'm not sure I would have enjoyed this so thoroughly. Yeah right!
I quattro dell'Apocalisse (1975)
Fulci's Not-So-Finest
Filmed with a sleepy haze, creating an almost dream-like atmosphere similar to Fulci's Conquest, it was obvious (outside of the title) that Fulci and writer Ennio De Concini (Salon Kitty) were drawing religious parallels with some sequences and imagery. Each of the four survivors also seemed to represent unfavorable aspects of the pioneering West including gambling (Stubby), sex (Bunny), alcoholism (Clem) and insanity (Bud). Is it a straight-up Spaghetti Western or an allegory? Tomas Milian is chilling as the diabolical Chaco and Fabio Testi delivers a surprisingly touching performance as the seasoned gambler Stubby. Lynne Frederick was absolutely gorgeous as Bunny, Pollard does a solid job as comedic relief and Harry Baird lends the film a child-like innocence, despite his insanity. There's really not much I can say about the acting or the locations but I did have a problem or two with Four of the Apocalypse. For starters it was boring as all hell, it just seemed to go on and on without any real focus, the journey seemed to be about the characters themselves and not where they were going or where they might end up. Another issue I had was the score, UGH! I found myself loathing the hippie, folksy score by Frizzi, Bixio and Tempera with an indescribable intensity. There was nothing even remotely western about the music, not one thing.
Aside from pacing and score, I had an issue with the editing, it seemed to jump about from sequence to sequence with little to no explanation or resolution. One minute Stubby is discovering Bud's grisly secret, the next they're shouting goodbye to him. Perhaps it was the print I was viewing but where was the confrontation between Stubby and Bud? Was one ever filmed? It just felt disjointed.
Four of the Apocalypse was a cool Spaghetti Western but it was a bit of a chore to get through, it seemed to never end as the four wander aimlessly, constantly bumping into new people to the tune of shitty, inappropriate music. In other words, if you're not a patient person, I guarantee this will tax whatever patience you do possess. I enjoyed this film on a different level from films like The Great Silence, Django or The Good, The Bad & The Ugly because I liked the characters more than the actual story but this is a rough film to recommend to anybody not familiar with Fulci's work or Spaghetti Westerns in general. I'd recommend renting first.
Il grande silenzio (1968)
A Spaghetti Masterpiece!
When asked what my favorite Spaghetti Western is I usually place Corbucci's Django at the top of my list but truth be told The Great Silence is far superior; it's a mesmerizing masterpiece overflowing with Roman violence and French nihilism. Corbucci isn't interested in presenting us with "good" or "bad," instead he introduces characters with very real human flaws such as greed, lust and the thirst for revenge. These men with their deep emotional scars, and monetary motivations, use the laws of the land to oppress religious freedom and justify murder. There's obviously more lying beneath the surface of this film for those interested in sharpening their analytical chops.
If Django's theme was mired in the muck and mud, The Great Silence's theme was buried beneath the frozen snow. Perhaps I'm looking too hard but it would appear to me that Corbucci's film portrays the snow almost as a living entity, as if it were a character witnessing the atrocities of Snowhill. The film's locations combined with the snow (actually shaving cream) and fog created a sense of isolation and an atmosphere of dread-inducing stillness.
French actor Jean-Louis Trintignant (Questi's Death Laid an Egg) is perfect as the infamous Silence, a character that mocks the "silent anti-hero" stereotype of Spaghetti Westerns by being mute! Speech isn't the only thing Trintignant resists, he also carries a Mauser pistol with detachable wooden stock instead of the traditional six-shooters or repeater rifles used in pretty much all Westerns. To say he was different from other Spaghetti Western bad asses would be a slight understatement.
I won't say much about the finale but it was incredibly dark and depressing; I was angry and saddened as the film ended on a reflection so powerful it'll remain with you long after the film is over. Forget hand-holding, Corbucci lops hands off at the wrist. I cannot recommend this film enough, seek it out and add it to your collection.
Killjoy 3 (2010)
Demons, Clowns and College Girls...Oh My!
When Band first announced that a third entry into the Killjoy franchise would be going into production I was a bit dumbstruck, why make Killjoy 3 when a new Trancers or Subspecies would have been guaranteed money in the bank? A new Puppet Master or Demonic Toys I can see as puppets have always been Full Moon's true cash cow but Killjoy? Boy was I wrong! Killjoy 3 was no masterpiece of horror, that's for sure, but I'll be damned if it wasn't creepy, sexy fun! Not only was Trent Haaga's Killjoy in rare form but the additional demonic clowns created by writer/director John Lechago (Blood Gnome & Bio-Slime) were genius! This time around we get a lumbering Emmett Kelly style clown dubbed "Punchy the clown," a scary mime and his parasitic sibling dubbed "Freakshow" and, last but certainly not least, a scorching hot succubus clown covered head to toe in body paint named "Batty Boop." Each clown brings its own distinctive look and abilities to the film but the most impressive power wielded by any of them was Batty Boop's amazing ability to cause my pants to spontaneously tent.
It's obvious Lechago was working on a low budget which is no surprise but he still managed to do a damn good job creating a wickedly entertaining sequel. The way Killjoy 3 is written one needn't watch the first two films in order to get their bearings as everything you really need to know about the character is made available to you in this installment. The dialog, outside of a few flat performances, was believable, the CG was fun and appropriate and the special effects make-up and gore were gruesome; this was an enjoyable B-movie romp with more positive than negative to look forward to.
If you're a fan of the first two Killjoy films, you'll want to grab this as it's the best of the series. If you've never seen a Killjoy film but you're interested in checking this out, be sure to rent.
The Bunny Game (2011)
When At First You Don't Succeed...
Presented in beautiful B&W, Adam Rehmeier's The Bunny Game features breathtaking imagery, creative editing and outrageous performances by lead actors Getsic and Renfro as The Bunny and Hog. Very few low budget endeavors that cross my desk these days look this good or feature actors so thoroughly convincing. Though the film features very little dialog, it's not at all difficult to understand what's transpiring so long as you pay close attention.
I was greatly impressed with this film on a technical level and there's no doubt in my mind that Rehmeier will have a bright future in filmmaking. That said, I did have a few issues with the film that I would like to mention, the first being that this film, like Lucifer Valentine's gag-inducing Vomit Gore Trilogy, may have had a story behind it but what you actually see ends up feeling more like an experimental BDSM slave training video for Masters. I think that's why I had such a hard time losing myself within the film. To those unfamiliar with BDSM Master/Slave relationships, much of the "atrocities" you see playing out in The Bunny Game are pretty commonplace activities, including head-shaving and erotic asphyxiation.
If experimental cinema with all of its exaggerated noise, nauseating camera effects, avant garde lighting, rapid-fire edits, slow-motion sequences and monotonous scoring is your forte, I can't help but think this film was made for you because I just can't see the average horror or exploitation fan looking for a few chills deriving much replay value from it. In my opinion it's an impressive piece of Artsploitation certainly worth checking out, if you're into this kind of cinema, but be sure to do so before purchasing.
El caballero del dragón (1985)
This Bad is Just Plain Bad.
What a steamer! I have to admit that I was seriously Gung-ho for this flick because it sounded intriguing and I figured, at the very least, it would be a quality film with Keitel and Kinski involved. Silly me. Star Knight (aka The Knight of the Dragon) comes off like a cheesy mash-up of Starman, Dune and Black Knight, it combines elegant, unearthly production design with ineffective, bumbling comedy and unlikable characters. The alien, his "suit of armor" and his ship were gorgeous, they deserved a film worthy of their design, not this goofy meandering crap.
I wanted to like Kinski, his ice-cold blue eyes and dazzling smile but the vibe his character gives off is decidedly sinister and therefor hard to connect with. Keitel's "brave knight" is idiotic and it only gets worse when the Brooklyn accent spills forth during his poorly delivered Olde English dialog. Honestly, this was a real forehead-slapper. I suppose the alien "IX" (Miguel Bosé) was okay but he doesn't get lines and his acting consisted of wide eyes and head nods.
Star Knight was about as basic as they come, "Alien comes to Earth to study our world and he falls in love." Big whoop, right? Well as simple as it is it really could have succeed (in its own way) had the characters worked better and the film was played straight. They didn't and it wasn't though and, in the end, instead of finding myself mildly entertained with a cool time-waster, I was bored to tears by "just plain bad." I wish I could say that it got better at some point but it didn't.
If you're all about dumb-as-rocks sci-fi comedies like Pluto Nash and Galaxy Quest then you may find this only a little disappointing. Everybody else though should steer clear unless you're a glutton for cinematic punishment, like me.
Enter the Void (2009)
Gorgeous!
It's hard to adequately describe a film like Enter The Void to people unfamiliar with modern day transgressive cinema; the combination of sacred and profane rarely elicits excitement from the average viewer even when they are remotely aware of what it is. To tell someone that ETV is a "visually arresting and deeply disturbing film" doesn't quite seem to do the film justice but that is exactly how I'm inclined to describe it. Filmmaker Gaspar Noé has created a work of stunning beauty but not far beneath the swirling, multi-colored surface lies an ugly reality filled with the pointless lives of incredibly damaged characters.
Without the dazzling effects, Enter The Void might have been just another grimy drama with creative camera-work but Noé seems determined to show us something unique and unexpected. Shot in first-person and occasionally disorienting, we see what the main actor Oscar sees and even hear his thoughts right up until his "out-of-body experience" begins, which really marks the beginning of the film and our wild ride through Oscar's past and the colorful streets of Tokyo. When not confronted with beautiful DMT hallucinations and painful memories, we're swooping through ceilings and walls, spying on the most intimate dealings of Oscar's younger sister Linda.
Just as one begins to wonder where the film is heading and where our host is leading us, a clear pattern emerges and with it an understanding of Oscar's new purpose.
For every one exquisite sequence of inspiration (and there are many) there seems to be an equally disturbing counterpart. One such sequence that I found myself genuinely moved by features two bloody children in a car, screaming and desperately trying to exit and escape the mutilated bodies of their parents. Another sequence literally puts us in front row seats and forces us to watch an unnerving abortion and Oscar's close-up fascination with the discarded fetus, a scene sure to turn stomachs. It's hard not to be affected by the things Noé shows us.
Enter The Void isn't the kind of film you can watch and walk away from, it will stick with you long after the initial viewing is over. I cannot recommend it enough to those seeking a unique filmmaking experience but readers should be aware that this isn't going to be for everybody. The acting, dialog, character arcs, none of that matters, it all takes second to concept and delivery. In my opinion, this is a rare gem and outstanding film and one I proudly own.
Faster (2010)
Action Cinema Lives!
Action revenge cinema lives! I'm not at all a fan of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's work, to be honest, but his increased stature (the man is a monster) combined with a roaring muscle car, thunderous hand-cannon and "man of few words" character create a truly imposing anti-hero one can't help but admire. Instead of dazzling us with Johnson's athleticism and razor-sharp comedic timing or mucking things up with cheesy eyebrow gags, director Tillman Jr. opts instead to let Johnson's stone-faced brutality do the talking and Faster benefits greatly from that.
Certainly there's very little to go on here, Faster is tragically predictable, but what do plot, story and character arcs have to do with plain old revenge seasoned with gun powder and the pathetic groveling of the wicked? What this film offers, it delivers on in spades and that's what good revenge cinema is all about. Frankly I'm a bit surprised this barely made its production budget back because I found it to be great fun, very entertaining, violent stuff and I just can't imagine most action fans disliking this.
I can't say I loved this film, I did have a few small gripes in which I felt they dropped the ball with Johnson's character, but I'll be damned if I won't be picking this up when I get the chance. The cinematography was clean, the action/revenge in-your-face and brutal (like good action/revenge cinema should be) and the soundtrack featuring composer Clint Mansell, Kenny Rogers, Iggy Pop and legendary Italian composers Guido and Maurizio De Angelis was outstandingly groovy! "In the know" listeners will notice the De Angelis track is "Goodbye My Friend" from Enzo G. Castellari's poliziottesco classic, Street Law. Way to score points with the cult cinema geeks! Action films come and go, most aren't worth watching twice these days but there are a few that have put a smile on this jaded fan's face. I was thoroughly entertained, hopefully you will be too.
La posesión de Emma Evans (2010)
Demonic Possession With a Twist
Exorcismus, not surprisingly, starts off fairly predictable, following in the footsteps of pretty much every other possession film out there, but toward about the midway point things suddenly change course, leading you in an original and disturbing direction. While most films seem only interested in patterning themselves on Friedkin's The Exorcist, Carballo introduces us to a "not-so-innocent" young girl with dark secrets, constantly locking horns with her progressive parents. Instead of jumping right into the possession, the director leads us to wonder whether Emma's malady is nothing more than the calculated tantrum tactics of a conniving teenager. This, of course, keeps us guessing while tension slowly builds and the signs of possession become evident.
The film occasionally has a documentary feel, thanks to the cinematography of Javier (Romasanta) Salmones, successfully bringing you closer to the characters without forcing you to participate, like The Possession of David O'Reilly. Naturally that only works when you're given genuine characters to connect with and in my opinion the actors all did a wonderful job, with 19-year-old Sophie (Resident Evil: Apocalypse) Vavasseur turning in the most impressive, and probably physically exhausting, performance as Emma.
Bottom line, when you watch a possession film you want to see some actual demonic possession, whether that's bending backwards, walking on walls, vomiting pea soup or using foul language. In the case of this film, the director could have kept things ambiguous without ever showing us anything supernatural but, thankfully, he didn't go that route. Exorcismus doesn't depend on wild CGI possession gags but they are used and when they are its to great effect as they're never over-the-top.
Written by David (The Devil's Backbone) Muñoz, Exorcismus features capable actors, solid CGI and some thrilling sequences that ooze tension and terror. This film is definitely worth checking out but be sure to rent first.
Alien degli abissi (1989)
Balls! Balls!
Antonio Margheriti's Alien from the Deep is a gonzo Aliens rip-off, to be sure, and one not to be missed by fans of Margheriti's work as well as Italian exploitation cinema! Any film featuring Charles Napier as the tough-talking, no-nonsense, get-it-done military type is worth checking out but only Aliens from the Deep features Luciano Pigozzi doing his best impression of Lucio Fulci and an alien so outrageous, so comedic, that you will never look at crustaceous meals the same way again. There's no denying that Alien from the Deep is an uneven film, it starts out as an action adventure film with cheesy B-movie potential and then steadily declines into an unintentionally hilarious sci-fi horror film featuring a massive crab's claw swinging back and forth.
As I mentioned above, cult actors like Charles Napier, Luciano Pigozzi and Robert Marius star in this delightful stinker so expect good to adequate acting. Hit or miss acting aside, there's no denying the quality of the production values in this film, I was greatly impressed with the colors, sets and costumes, despite the low budget. It boggles the mind how far some of these Italian filmmakers were able to go in order to stretch their dollars to get a certain "look" and "feel," even if the film itself was a bomb.
Aliens from the Deep is one of those films that you shouldn't over-think, it is what it is and you just have to kick back and enjoy the ride. For me two things really stood out in this production and that was the forehead-slappingly bad creature and the painful dialog. The minute you see the alien tooling about like a remote control car, wildly swinging its claw and, eventually, standing up to reveal its Rickets-riddled legs, you'll fall in love with this film. Before you get to the "good stuff" though you'll be forced to suffer through the dialog which mainly consists of the actors each getting a turn saying, "Balls!" Carpi must have had a rough time writing this gem! From beginning to end, I enjoyed this film. No need to polish a turd, my review is pretty clear. You're either going to be entertained or you won't be. I recommend giving it a rental.
5 Dead on the Crimson Canvas (1996)
Low Budget Neo-Giallo Gold
If you're a fan of Italian Gialli
grab the film. This is a stylishly shot low budget film that really attempts to deliver that old sleazy Giallo craziness without being a spoof. This is no comedy, Parda and the cast take the material very seriously.
While some may find the quality of the movie distracting, I found the grain and soft detail quite endearing. It was almost as if I was back in the eighties watching a 6th generation VHS bootleg of Deep Red! The guys behind 5 Dead on the Crimson Canvas even made sure to dub the film slightly off! I laughed my damn ass off as I watched. I kept thinking, "They had to of done this purposely!" and I'm fairly certain they did. It really lent a bit of authenticity to the film. I never feel quite right watching Italian horror films and Gialli with subtitles. It's gotta be dubbed for The Horror Pimp! Granted, it had issues. Which low budget film doesn't, right? One such issue was the soundtrack which fluctuated at times and threatened to drown out the actors vocals. Aside from that it was a decent soundtrack. I would have liked to have heard a soundtrack better resembling something like Goblin but you get what you get.
Another issue I feel worth noting is the dialog. It was extremely stiff at times. Now, I know that's sometimes a trademark of some Gialli, but it felt a bit too stiff in this film. Once again, you get what you get though and it's a minor gripe.
My hat is off to these gentlemen for making such a cool little film. It had a real story, outrageously twisted, interesting characters, tits, day glow blood and even a beatnik poet. Could a Giallo fan ask for anything more?
Seven Mummies (2006)
Pass!
Vincent is here strictly as eye candy and though I could stare at her assets all day long, they just couldn't make up for this tedious flick. It went in and out of Hip Hop and rap-core metal which totally takes you out of the southwestern setting and era. Those of you out there that like your horror "rap artist free" may also want to beware as N.O.R.E., of "Oye Mi Canto" fame, stars in this mess. The two ethnic characters will literally make you want to cut off your ears off as they sling slang like monkey's hurl poopy diapers. Some of their dialog sounds so silly you'll swear it was improvised! I really don't know what else to say about this film but steer clear. The story was bad and the whole film completely falls apart toward the middle. Character's actions just don't make sense and actors either barely act or are barely seen. Trejo and Drago were truly wasted talent.
Kung Fu Jesuit mummies cannot make up for this train wreck. Somebody point me to the nearest opium den because I've got a major headache.
13 Tzameti (2005)
Truly Disturbing
13 Tzameti is brilliant; the cinematography was exceptional and the characters were all well written and engaging. I cannot recommend this film enough.
Those of you interested in checking it out should be sure to hit the special features for an absolutely hilarious little short film entitled Sunday's Game. It was a witty little gore-fest featuring a group of adorable little old ladies gossiping, sipping tea and playing an ultra bloody game of Russian Roulette! Brains and doilies never looked so good! If you're thirsting for something new and different and you're able to watch black and white films with subtitling than look no further than 13 Tzameti. I know many people out there don't do B&W nor are they fond of subtitles but I highly recommend giving this film a shot. I don't think you'll disappointed with this fantastic bit of French / Russian cinema.
20-seiki shônen: Honkaku kagaku bôken eiga (2008)
Big Time Fun!
20th Century Boys has more twists and turns than you can count and it pulls no punches when it comes to waving "Bye-bye-bye" to main characters. Unfortunately, in my opinion, that was one of this film's drawbacks, the characters. There was at least a dozen characters to keep track of and it becomes a bit daunting figuring out which friend is which and who is who. It wasn't physics or anything but careful attention to the film will be required.
Outside of that, 20th Century Boys was thrilling and the production design fantastic, my 11-year-old loved it and I was thoroughly entertained. Decent dialog? Check. Meaningful character arcs? Check. Heartwarming moments? Check.
After having the privilege of watching the first and second films in this series, I'd say I'm a fan of the 20th Century Boys series and I'm undoubtedly looking forward to the third installment slated for fall. This first installment can indeed be a slippery beast if you don't pay attention but if attention span isn't a problem for you and a bevy of "Who the hell was that again?" characters don't bother you, you're in for some major entertainment! I honestly couldn't find anything that I didn't like about this film, really. Sure there were quite a few "childhood flashbacks" but they're necessary so suck it up, plug it in and have a ball! Hopefully when this hits the states it's not trimmed down by an hour for the ADHD crowd.
20-seiki shônen: Dai 2 shô - Saigo no kibô (2009)
The Fun Continues!
The second film in the 20th Century Boys series is just as exciting, gripping and delightfully entertaining as the first film. I had a ball watching the story unfold as the old prophecies, written by Kenji as a child, are replaced with a book of NEW prophecies written by the mysterious Friend as a child. Who is Friend? Why is he so obsessed with Kenji, his club of friends and the book of prophecies? I really do love these films and I can't wait for the third film, coming toward the end of 2009. The production values are fantastic, the acting solid, the direction tight and the story itself is complicated enough to intrigued adults yet easy enough for kids to follow. While I certainly wouldn't call the 20th Century Boys films "kiddie flicks," they are based on Manga and safe for the entire family.
20th Century Boys 2 was really exciting, I enjoyed every single minute of it just as much as the first film despite the lack of giant robots. Hey, I can always hope for more giant rampaging robots in part three, right? Seriously though, I cannot recommend these films enough. The copy I watched looked to be ripped straight from the original film source so there were reel breaks and all sorts of things but it was still a privilege. If you were able to attend the Philly Film Festival and check this out, I'm sure you're just as excited about this film series as I am. When these films hit stateside, check 'em out!
300 (2006)
100% Mantertainment
300 is an adrenaline fueled fantasy classic! I cannot recommend this film enough to those of you looking for some hard-hitting eye candy and no-holds-barred battle action. I gotta admit I was totally blown away by the visuals in this. For a film shot entirely on a green screen, it's breathtaking. There were a few sequences that felt a bit too "two dimensional" for me but I truly believe 300 is a revolutionary film. There's really only been a handful of films out there that have been shot entirely green screen before and this is without a doubt one of the best in my opinion. I figure we'll be seeing more and more just like this as time goes on. Hopefully they learn to utilize the technology in a way that opens the environments up a bit more. Don't take this as whining or anything but the film occasionally felt claustrophobic.
The acting in 300 was fantastically over-the-top and why the hell shouldn't it be?!! This is war baby! We get all manner of grunts, screams, roars, hissing and whispering. Without a doubt, Gerard Butler takes the cake for being the baddest bad ass from Bangor to Bangladesh! His intensity could melt a Hyundai! The second runner up for coolest mother-trucker would definitely go to Rodrigo Santoro's terrifyingly creepy turn as transvestite-ish warrior king, Xerxes.
Folks, I won't bog the review down by nitpicking the he-man dialog or gay-bashing hypocrisy of the Spartans
plain and simple
this is mantertainment. This should, no MUST, be watched with only one thing in mind
ENTERTAINMENT. It won't raise your I.Q. and it may even offend some viewers' sensibilities. That happens. You know what I did while watching this? I guzzled down a 6-pack of Mojo India Pale Ale, kicked my feet up and hollered my head off. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun watching fantasy.
If you've already seen this film and haven't purchased it yet
grab the 2-disc special edition. If you haven't seen this yet and you're planning on purchasing be sure to spend a few extra bones and go for the gusto. The one disc release is bare bones aside from an audio commentary. Bare bones just doesn't do this film justice. Unfortunately, I'm reviewing the single disc release as a rental so I was forced to give it a lesser overall rating. otherwise this would have received five stars all across the board.
1408 (2007)
King Continues to Score Big
1408 is one of the best damn Stephen King films I've seen in years and that's saying something considering there's been quite a few! If ever a body of work demanded remakes all across the board, King's adaptations would be at the top of that list! It was just incredibly refreshing to be able to sit down and watch a competent, mature horror film directed by a highly capable director like Mikael (Derailed) Håfström as well as starring a talented, and likable, actor like John Cusack. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a small part of me that yearned to hear a New England accent or see King himself in a goofy little cameo but that's just my love for cheese rearing its tacky head as it so often does. Despite the film's PG-13 rating, it takes itself dead serious and never once caters to the teeny bopper crowd by dragging out clichéd scare tactics or torturous "pop chic" dialog.
Truthfully, this movie probably could have worked just as well with some other actor but John Cusack was perfect for the role of Mike Enslin. He did a wonderful job of portraying a damaged husband and grieving father, one could hardly fault the guy for wanting to prove to the world there's no fairytale afterlife awaiting us
no promise of Heaven
no God to protect us. I wouldn't say Cusack has an incredible range when it comes to acting; he seems to be the same character in every film he's in (like Christopher Walken). Nevertheless he pulled it off and that's all that counts.
If you're a King fan, this will definitely impress you. If you're a Cusack fan, I'd say this film makes up for Serendipity. If you're just looking for some original horror that doesn't rely on gore, sex or CG than you've definitely gotta give this film a shot! Solid flick indeed.
1990: I guerrieri del Bronx (1982)
The Future Never Looked Cooler
1990: Bronx Warrior is pure post-apocalyptic Italian exploitation fun and, for me, it never gets old
that's just me though. The comparisons between this film and the films it steals from will be obvious to anybody remotely familiar with 70's & 80's post-apocalyptic biker/gang cinema so I won't bother going into all that. There's a good chance many of you will find this film extremely cheesy though and rightly so because it is. The minute you get a load of Mark Gregory's waxed chest, girlie walk & Maneloe (Man Camel Toe) you'll know right away this wasn't meant to be taken too seriously. It's one of those "switch your brain off" type entertaining testosterone flicks you smile and kick your feet up to.
1990: Bronx Warriors isn't all that bad, the dialog wasn't as ridiculous as it tends to be in Italian exploitation cinema and the action/fight sequences were passable. Williamson's pimp king, The Ogre, was slick as hell and sported a perfectly styled mustache I'd beat a Red Cross worker down for and Vic Morrow's Hammer was so thoroughly over-the-top (especially during the finale) that the words "chewing scene while on speed" would be a huge understatement. Anybody out there wishing' we could have gotten a quick peek at Stefania Girolami's ass? Sorry Enzo but your daughter had a nasty fine can! Interested viewers will find some decent special features on the Media Blasters disc and that's all well and good but I would have been more appreciative had they slapped the sequel, Escape from the Bronx, on as an extra instead. Oh well, I'll live. Check this out when you've got time!
2001 Maniacs (2005)
Goofy Remake
We get blood, boobs, gore, comedy, guys chasing sheep, kids killing cats and super hottie cousins "boning" each other! The comedy is actually funny
the gore is actually
well
gory! The T&A is top notch (its Christa Campbell guys!) and the acting was excellent.
Not only do we get a damn good horror film but we get a DVD that actually puts most "Special Editions" to shame! This release is packed with extras! I would like to point out to readers though that no matter how hard a DVD company tries to convince you
subtitles and closed captions are not bonus features.
I'd like to point out a few facts as well
for starters; Eli Roth is back to reprise his role from Cabin Fever as wonky drifter Justin (Eli Roth) and his good buddy Dr. Mambo (the dog) is back as well! Eagle eyed viewers may also spot Tim Sullivan hammering on a coffin and Scott Spiegel (Evil Dead 1 & 2, The Dead Next Door) as one of the hillbilly banjo singers that constantly wander about the movie! So, for those of you looking for a damn good film, run, don't walk, to your nearest Best Buy and purchase 2001 Maniacs. Don't hesitate!
See prang (2008)
Mildly Entertaining
4Bia, actually title PHOBIA, is a pretty predictable Asian horror anthology, I was mildly entertained but there were no surprises here; those well-versed in Asian horror will see most of the "shocking twists" coming from a mile away. Now that doesn't necessarily mean the film is bad, it just means Thailand has the same problem we do
played-out predictability sells well in theaters. If this were to have been released in the U.S., it would have ended up going straight-to-DVD. This isn't a bad flick, I actually enjoyed "Tit for Tat" and it's stylish CG and the goofy horror comedy of "In The Middle" but nothing really jumped out at me as original or different. It's all pretty average, a "been there, done this" experience indeed.
3 Dead Girls! (2007)
CAB Touched Me There!
Christopher Alan Broadstone's short films are exactly what one might expect to see coming from an auteur-in-the-making. His story, colors & dialog set him apart from the usual dreary horror "filmmaking" herd we've become too familiar (and bored) with. Words like "visionary," "savage" and "arthouse exploitation" immediately come to mind when watching CAB's shorts. He has an eye for color like Argento's Suspiria, a taste for the disturbing like Craven's Last House on the Left and an understanding of claustrophobic tension like Polanski's Repulsion.
One question kept echoing in my mind over and over again while watching 3 Dead Girls is, "Why the hell hasn't somebody given this guy a shot and a budget?" While CAB deserves every bit of praise and credit for these minor masterpieces, actor Tony Simmons, prominently featured in each short, is without a doubt one of the most versatile actors I've seen in years. Bravo! Honorable mention should definitely be given to cinematographers Stewart M. Eastman & Schwarz Nipfargen for their fantastic work on these shorts. They were able to capture the colors, lightning and imagery perfectly.