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The Babysitter (2017)
Wow, just wow! I'm blown away with how good this was!
I expected The Babysitter to be just a typical horror comedy. But it's very different in the fact that it's extremely clever, suspenseful, horrific, fun, and even sort of original. All the characters, good and bad, are likable, and I was rooting for all of them. It's extremely engaging. I was on the edge of my chair for most of it.
I'd compare it to Piranha. Except it's way better.
Hot babysitter. 12-year-old wuss. Cult. Guns. Knives. Firecrackers. Miniature tarantulas. What in the actual...
Can't tell you the last time I had this much fun watching a movie. Pleasantly surprised is putting it lightly. Please, do yourself a favor and watch this!
The Neon Demon (2016)
The end credits were my favorite part
What an awful movie. There is no sensible thing that happens here. No explanation for anything, no rhyme or rhythm. Super slow paced. Main characters lack depth. We don't care about them at all. All we do is sit there and watch nothing, and I mean, absolutely nothing, happen. The final act is very strange, but still uninteresting. My favorite part was the end credits. Not only because the movie was finally over, but because Sia was singing. And the sunset was nice. 1/10.
The Wilds (2020)
Blah...
Would be good. If it didn't have that darn present time/flashback flip-flop storyline. Holy cow that's annoying. It's impossible to focus on the story when it goes from flashback to present time every five minutes. It has to be the same person who wrote this that wrote the movie Adrift. Same exact format as that. Takes what would be enjoyable and completely ruins it. One episode and I'm done. Can't stand this format.
Piranha 3DD (2012)
Utterly ridiculous...But fun nonetheless
A dumb horror comedy that has no reason, depth, story, or plot. You don't care if the characters live or die. It's unrealistic. Dumb. Shake-your-head kind of dumb. But one can't help but sit back and enjoy this flick. It has blood, boobs, and David Hasselhoff. I mean who can argue with that logic.
Sausage Party (2016)
Has some monstrous laughs...but for the most part falls flat
Over the top is putting it lightly. Sausage Party is nothing but crude, vulgar, gross, and mostly unfunny. Granted, there are a few clever elements that are extremely funny (Gum as Stephen Hawking), but for the most part it's a senseless sex comedy that tries really hard but ultimately falls flat. The plot is ridiculous, humans being evil gods for eating (or rather "killing" the food), and they can enter the 4th dimension and understand and interact with the food when they get high on bath salts. The main character Frank the sausage wants to find out the truth about what actually happens when food leaves the grocery store. Is it paradise, or will they die? The other villain besides humans is the douchebag. LOL. I tried to enjoy it, I really did, but I was just sitting there asking myself WHY? What is the film trying to achieve? I get that the different foods represent different cultures and ethnic groups. So what? The climax is nothing but a fight against the humans in the grocery store. How dare the humans eat (kill) food? This is a movie, yes. Completely implausible, yes. Pointless? Absoutely. It would have been way better as a 30 minute short. Could have gotten the same message across and I wouldn't have gotten as bored.
Back to the Future Part II (1989)
Almost a 10, but has a large plot hole
Back to the Future is a fantastic series, however this sequel has a gaping plot hole. There would be no need to travel into the future to stop Marty's son from committing a crime. They could simply wait until it happens over the natural course of time, and address it before it happens. This is always bothered me when watching this film. It takes something away from it. However there's so many good parts it's still well worth watching. Don't think I'm writing a negative review because I'm not. I just wish their reason for traveling to the Future was a little more believable.
The Last House on the Left (1972)
A few scares...but mostly boring and annoying
I don't know why this movie is so well liked. It's not scary. Mostly it's people running around in the woods while nothing happens except loud music plays. Not scary music, random annoying music. Very little of the plot makes any sense. The acting is terrible. Don't bother with this one. It's one yawn after another.
White Bird in a Blizzard (2014)
Predictable, gloomy, and boring.
Kat's mother up and disappears. Kat immediately starts sleeping with the detective on the case. There are flashbacks where we see Kat's mother treating her like a pet "cat" and being a cold hearted bitch to her father. Kat has dreams of walking through a snowstorm and her mother calling her name. Kat's boyfriend acts suspiciously when Kat comes home from college. There is a flashback scene when the freezer in the basement becomes unplugged by accident and stinks up the house. As soon as this scene occurs, the ending is obvious. The snowstorm represents the inside of the freezer, where Kat's mother's body is. Her dad killed her mother and hid the body in the freezer. Except we have no sympathy for Kat, who tells her therapist that she doesn't miss her mother at all, and just wants to sleep with guys. Nor any for her mother, who right from the start, like stated earlier, is just a cold hearted bitch. And of course, there has to be a homosexual element to the story, as every single movie and TV show has these days. Skip this movie. It's a waste of 90 minutes.
American Wedding (2003)
The worst "American Pie" of the series
This bland installment of American Pie should only be watched to see Stifler in action, with his usual hilarious shenanigans. Other than that, the jokes are few and far in between, there is no real plot, and worst of all, half the main cast is missing. No Oz, Heather, Vicky, or Nadia. Stifler and Finch are in more scenes than Jim. Maybe that's a good thing. Jim doesn't offers little humor to the movie. He's just the guy that's getting married. Michelle has few lines, and isn't her band geek self. Very forgettable film. I rewatched it for the first time since American Reunion came out (much better movie) and had forgotten most of it. Reunion really got everything back on track. Happy to see that at least. Wedding gets a 5/10, only for Stifler and Finch. 1/10 for the remainder.
Demolition Man (1993)
"I'm good at subtle."
Demolition Man is an action classic. Great characters, and actors that fit them perfectly, good sets and futuristic scenery, hilarious dialogue all throughout (as per my title), great interesting plot with very few holes, and never a boring moment. Plenty of action, violence, laughs, and even romance. Stallone and Snipes are great as cop-villain enemies. Haven't watched this in many years but gave it a view tonight and thought it was well worth a review. Few movies do I have no complaints about, and this is one of them. Excellent film.
The Visit (2015)
Delivers a few scares, but mostly an expensive Paranormal Activity ripoff
The Visit is a pretty bad movie. That said, there are a few good scary moments, and a decent plot twist, considering there isn't much of a plot in the first place. The most major thing that annoyed me is the flippy, bouncy camera work. Most of us have seen Paranormal Activity, and in my mind this movie is nothing but a bigger budget version of that film. Only PA had me sitting on the edge of my seat all the way through, while Visit only had 3 or 4 moments like that. Acting was bad. Characters are not likable. Lots of errors. One that stuck out for me was one minute there's a foot of snow on the ground, the next there is none. I hate when I feel like I wasted my time watching a movie, and Visit did just that. 3/10 stars.
Need for Speed (2014)
All you haters...Shut up.
I wasn't going to write a review but I feel there needs to be a positive review amongst the many negative ones. Need for Speed is a great movie. Of course it's cheesy, you pricks. It's based on a racing video game! What were you people expecting? I watched this expecting street racing and action, and that's what I got! Not much of a plot, but the small one that exists is a decent one. Not an Oscar winner here. Mostly a fun movie that is fast paced all the way through and never falls off that course. Don't listen to all the hatred going on here. This is an extremely fun and enjoyable flick. Fast expensive cars, hot women, action, comedy, a little drama. What else do you want from a film that's based on a video game? Come on people, lighten up a bit. 9/10
50 First Dates (2004)
In a word...Excellent!
I'm not usually into romantic comedies, yet this one decided to work its way into my top favorite movies. I am a big fan of Sandler. His movies seem to be getting better as time goes on. 50 First Dates is about a man who falls in love with a woman whose brain damage causes her to forget him every night, and therefore he must make her fall in love with him each and every day. Despite its tragic plot, the comedic elements make the mood light and fun. The story fits together perfectly, the characters are great, and the ending is not quite what you would expect. It pulled at my heartstrings several times, as it will yours. It's one of the better movies out there. See it. 10/10
EuroTrip (2004)
Fun and entertaining, yet predictable and lacks plot
EuroTrip has the things you would expect from a college comedy. Sex, drugs, crude humor, romance. The plot is a basic and predictable love story. Guy falls in love with a pen pal who he's never met, and travels to Europe with his friends to meet her and tell her he loves her. That's it. Only the first 20 minutes and the last 10 have anything to do with that story. There is no other story line, the middle hour of the movie is just four teens wandering around Europe getting into misadventures. There are many funny parts, and others miss the mark. The movie has good heart. It does what it's supposed to. Entertain and amuse. No award winning here, but a good way to pass 90 minutes. 7/10
The Office (2005)
Better without Carell
Steve Carell is a comedic genius, however The Office makes him extremely annoying at times. The humor is pretty hit and miss in seasons 1-7 while he is office manager at Dunder Mifflin. All other aspects of the show are funny, but Michael Scott is a bit much. After he leaves to be with his woman out of state, the show gets way better. James Spader is brought in as sort of a replacement for Carell, although gets much less screen time. I wish he had as much screen time as Carell, as he is great as CEO Robert California. All the other characters are good throughout the series - Jim, Dwight, Pam, Erin, Andy, Oscar, Kevin, and others. Seasons 8 and 9 are much better than 1-7 in my opinion. 8/10
Jurassic World (2015)
Visually stunning, action packed fun! Lacks depth, characters, and plot.
Jurassic Park is one of my all-time favorite films. The Lost World and JP3 were good follow- ups, but nowhere near the quality of the original. Yes, I said Jurassic Park 3 was good, all you haters out there. It was not a great movie, but short, fun, and to the point. It did not deserve all the hate that it got. The fourth entry in the series ties the second and third movies, in my opinion. Better in certain aspects, worse in others. It is a fun-filled action romp, but lacks depth, character development, and plot. It far surpasses any of the first three films in terms of visual effects, as it should, I mean we are in 2015, not 1993. That, and the fact this movie cost twice as much to make as any of the others. The plot is stupid, to say the least. If you can call it a plot. A theme park is reopened after the disaster 20 years before, with the same results, just worse, with a much higher death toll. Villain Hoskins wants to use tamed raptors for the military. Workaholic hero Claire doesn't spend enough time with her family. Raptor tamer Owen is the only one who sees the storm coming when Claire announces the new hybrid dinosaur, Indominus Rex. Oh yeah, and Owen and Claire have a love-affair-sort-of thing going on. Claire's two nephews are visiting the park, and are upset about their parents divorcing, which by the way we never find anything out about in the end. That being said, this is great fun to watch. Dinosaurs stomping around causing mayhem and destruction while enjoying chasing and feasting on the 20,000 plus park visitors. The final showdown between the Indominus, the raptors and the T-rex is EPIC! I'm sure since this movie broke records already in its first week at the box office, there will be more sequels to follow. Which is fine. I'll just go into them expecting nothing more than a typical Hollywood film- carnage and mayhem, overtaking plot and characters.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Wonderful Christmas movie
I don't get why this only has a 6.0/10 rating. Despite a few corny elements, this live action adaption of the most famous Seuss classic is not only a wonderful Christmas film, it's a comedic gem. This in my opinion is one of Jim Carrey's best films, he is so darn funny and a comic genius. The film is obviously big-budget, but it works tremendously, especially the set design and the hairstyles of the Who's. It has a lot of humorous dialogue, and you don't catch it all until you see it a few times. The soundtrack is great, the acting is good, the scenery is spectacular. The storyline sticks to the original, and adds a lot of new elements, such as The Grinch's family backstory, a young girl who befriends him, and the evil Mayor of Whoville. I see this movie at least once if not twice every Christmas season, and it's just as great each time.
Godzilla (2014)
In a word...EPIC!
I wasn't going to review this film, however, after reading mostly negative reviews, I felt I needed to put in my two cents worth. I am definitely in the minority on this one. I loved this film. It captured my attention instantly and held it for the entire two hours. Sure, the plot is familiar, but anyone who expects a new plot for one of the oldest, most famous monsters ever, is nothing but kidding themselves. This is a new version of some of the old "Godzilla vs....." movies. Not similar to the 1998 film in which one monster stomps around and destroys the city. Sure, that also happens here, but not without an epic battle between Godzilla and other radioactive monsters. Yes, most reviewers are complaining that Godzilla only appears for 10 minutes in the movie. This is true, as the other monsters have more screen time, but most of the film is built on suspense, and in my opinion it works very well. There is still plenty of chaos and destruction for the action buffs. The human story (about Ford Brody and his family) is quite weak and almost non-existent. But that does not take anything away from this epic monster movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it, it is VERY entertaining. 10/10
Alien (1979)
What is all the hype about?
Despite all the good reviews of Alien, in my opinion it is no better than any other low-budget, let's-run-through-dark-tunnels being-chased-by-a-monster-that-we-never-see movie. This movie is not terrible by any means, but it's also not as good as everyone says. It's one of those that is built on suspense and suspense only, and if you scare really easy, then I guess you'd really like it. I've seen a hundred movies more suspenseful than this. The "heartbeat" rhythm that plays throughout the film adds to the suspense, but not much. Not once did I gasp, jump, or even sit close to the edge of my seat. I watched this movie ten years ago, and forgot the entire thing. Very forgettable story, empty characters, only about ten minutes of the film do you get to even see the alien. I have not seen any of the sequels, perhaps they are better. I don't plan to find out. How is this film rated so high? I guess because it's considered a classic, the outer space version of Jaws, which by the way is no better. My rating, 5/10.
Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014)
Life is way too short.
The Sharknado series has to be one of the dumbest of all time. I don't understand what all the hype is about. People are saying they love this movie. Anyone who says that has obviously never seen a good movie. The first one was bad. The second one was almost as bad. The acting, the dialogue, the characters, the sharks, the story, the whole concept. They all suck.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for horror flicks that don't take themselves seriously. Piranha, for example. Or the Feast trilogy. Stupid, yet entertaining. Sharknado 2 is just plain stupid, as is the original.
Life is too short to waste on trash like this.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
Very good
Let me start by saying that I love the X-Men series. However, i have not nor do I intend to read the comics. Comics aren't my thing, so I'm reviewing this strictly as a film fan, not a comic fan. I don't understand why this movie has a bad rap. It's got a good story, good acting, and great action sequences. It tells the backstory of Logan/Wolverine and his evil brother Victor, before Logan became part of the X-Men. This movie isn't perfect. But it's far better than X3, which has some pretty major flaws, but is good nonetheless. It's a close second to X2 and First Class, which to me are the best two in the series. I have not yet seen Days of Future Past so I can't compare it to that. This movie is worth a view, it's entertaining and fun, and Hugh Jackman is great as Wolverine, they couldn't have picked anyone better to play him. Liev Schreiber is also very good in this, as Logan's half-brother and nemesis, Victor. 9/10 stars
Silent Hill (2006)
Strange...but good
Silent Hill is one oddball movie. That said, it's creepy, suspenseful, horrific at times, and all in all, enjoyable. It's very slow paced, but that's OK, as it keeps you on the edge of your seat waiting for what will happen next. The final scene is very bloody and awesome. You just want to see that religious bitch get it from the first moment she's on screen, and boy when she does, it's well worth the wait.
I have played the video game, but didn't complete it, as I got stuck in a loop and couldn't get out of it, and got extremely frustrated. That's why I didn't see the movie right away, I was kind of annoyed with Silent Hill.
This is typically not my type of movie. Yes, I like horror flicks, but this is so far-fetched and unrealistic that normally I would steer clear. But I just so happened to watch this one, and it was not bad at all. Worth a view. 7/10
The Island (2005)
An excellent movie with a familiar plot
Having just watched "The Island" for the first time, I have to say it is one of the most entertaining movies I have seen in a long time. I found the plot to be very similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger's "The 6th Day," although "Island" far surpasses its mediocre twin.
A cloning company that sells "insurance policies" to rich people (the Sponsors) to add 70 years onto their life has human clones believing there was a worldwide contamination that rendered the world uninhabitable, and their only hope of happiness is winning the "Lottery" and leaving the containment area to go live in peace on the Island, which doesn't actually exist, in reality, they are taken to be killed, and their organs removed to be used when their Sponsors need surgery.
This movie captured my attention instantly and didn't let go until the end credits rolled. Unlike many movies of its kind, the plot was not terribly complicated, and I followed it easily. Great action sequences, particularly the chase scene where Lincoln rolls the giant iron reels off the semi and takes out the entire force chasing them. Ewan McGregor is good in his role, and I always enjoy seeing Steve Buscemi. I've always been a fan of Scarlett Johannsen, and she really shines in this role.
Check out this movie, it is quite lengthy, but it's well worth your time. 10/10
Bates Motel (2013)
Great show! Let's keep it going!
Bates Motel is a very good TV series. I didn't start watching it until the premiere of season 2, but watched 3 episodes from the end of season 1 before the season 2 premiere came on. Just bought season 1 on DVD and am all caught up now. It's very creepy and engaging, the mother- son relationship between Norma and Norman is played perfectly between Vera Farmiga and Freddie Highmore. One of my favorite elements of the show is the addition of Dylan Massett, Norman's half brother. Dylan is an interesting and engaging character, as he works for the drug industry that fuels the small town's economy, and at the same time juggles conflicts between Norman and their mother. Bad luck seems to follow the Bates family, as missing persons, murders, scandals, and the building of a new bypass route that will destroy their business, all coincide.
I hope this series continues for many more seasons. It has a lot of potential, as long as it can keep the ratings. Watch it!
Fast & Furious (2009)
A good reboot to the franchise.
The Fast and the Furious series got really weak when the first sequel came out without Vin Diesel. Paul Walker is great, but can't carry the series alone. The franchise completely died when Tokyo Drift came out. It was an OK movie, but a sign to everyone that Fast and the Furious was done. We were proved wrong, as Fast and Furious 4 is a good reboot to the series. Plenty of action and excitement. Also the original cast has returned. I thought it was the best of the series...that is until I saw Fast and Furious 6. I'm very curious to see how they fit Paul Walker's death into Brian's character. The studio just announced they would use his already completed scenes for Fast and Furious 7 that comes out in 2015. This series has been getting better with each sequel that comes out, which is the exact opposite of what usually happens. Looking forward to the next one!