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Reviews
I'm Thinking of Ending Things (2020)
Trippy view of...whatever interpretation you make of it
Wow, this was really a thought provoking view of (insert topic here). In the beginning the film comes off as a pseudo-intellectual jousting between the two members of a newly formed couple, but the settings and dialogue become so multi layered and nuanced that you almost think in three dimensions. I felt like my brain was a sponge being wrung out as I tried to decipher the meaning of what I was seeing and hearing. I know what *I* interpreted as I watched but the point may be the journey. Paying attention is crucial to follow along. I've seen it three times so far and pick up on more each time as I noticed more about the characters who flow in and out, and the significance of the setting of where she, or anyone, is speaking. I'm trying to be vague so you can make your own decision. The production quality is excellent as well as the acting. I highly recommend this if you're in the mood to almost feel like you're on acid as you're watching a film. And in general :)
The Black Phone (2021)
Missed potential in spades
Oh boy. The acting is so bad. Ethan Hawke of course is an exception. Just like other reviewers said, there are multiple sub-stories that are never explained or just glossed over. This results in limited character development because you don't see the characters in different situations, or interacting with more than one or two people for the entire movie. So there's that. But let us get to the story. The concept of the black phone is unique and interesting but again the development was so hodgepodge that you didn't understand how the story worked, nor did you care because of that your limited background knowledge. The production value is very high so that is where my score of a five came from. I didn't feel right and giving it a 6 because of the aforementioned issues, plus it was completely boring. A few schticks held my attention for...ten seconds apiece? And then nothing. If you are bored, sure watch this it will pass the time but just know it is NOT what I would call a quality horror film.
You Again (2010)
I'm only five minutes in and I know this movie already
So, this movie would be great if you were 11 or 12. But if you're over that age you are out of luck. It's over acted, formulaic, and just plain not interesting. Which is so, so, sad because there's so much wasted talent here! But it's super perky, almost like a Disney movie on Adderall. Too many clichés just keep coming. Now I'm 45 minutes in and calling it a night.
Faking a Murderer (2020)
I suspect the glowing reviews are fake
I suspect the glowing reviews are fake... because those accounts have only reviewed one movie, this one. And boy oh boy, this is a smug trying-to-be-screwball ride of a movie. I couldn't finish it so you may not find this review helpful, but the two main actors were so irritating I had to bail with 20 min to go. Good luck to you.
The House Bunny (2008)
I can watch this over and over!!!
I think this is such a sweet funny movie with a good message, I think I've seen it 20 times. It's one of those movies like the Godfather that you can just put on a loop and watch it all day Saturday. I read it at nine because I can't believe it rated lower than a six so I balanced it out :)
Epic Yellowstone (2019)
Gorgeous and Moving
The filming of this documentary feels like you are walking through Yellowstone alone and observing the wildlife. Moving, because you get invested in the animals' struggle to survive and persist in their home of Yellowstone. Bill Pullman as the narrator is perfect casting! So much interesting information about the park and it's inhabitants is woven into the story being told that you feel compelled to watch all of the episodes just to learn more. Highly recommend.
Coming 2 America (2021)
Disney version of what this movie SHOULD be
Oh boy. The first thing I noticed were the sound effects every time someone was speaking, I guess to show a "mood"? Since this isn't a musical, it really stood out. What movies sound like this? It hit me, Disney movie. Then more similarities started popping up, the way everything was clichéd, That there were moral lessons with it in, etc. etc. The movie was a toned down version of what it should've been, which is a shame.
What Keeps You Alive (2018)
Flat, predictable, pointless
Oh brother. So sad this had a lot of potential. But a simple predictable script, no tension, no character development, no real plot development leads to a very boring watch. It just kind of plops you into a story in a way that you don't care about figuring it out. Because the script was so one-dimensional the two lead actors couldn't carry it. Oh well, I couldn't finish it. I read the synopsis on here and so shocking, it was exactly what I would've predicted. So, yeah. Just don't.
The Rental (2020)
Scary and Creepy...but, why?
Spoiler-free. I like the new trend of thrillers and horror movies digging into relationships (Midsommar etc.) as the focus of the plot line. This story of a weekend rental for two couples that goes seriously awry due to their own faulty choices and relationship tension is beautifully shot, well produced, and has a thought-provoking undercurrent especially at the end. I'm giving this a higher rating as it's not formulaic, the story is realistic, and the theme is very current. Plus I was completely freaked out and had to fast forward through one part. To me that earns a higher rating since I am an accomplished horror movie lover and am a tad jaded. HOWEVER, just why? The ending (last third of the film) was like having a mediocre dessert at the end of a great meal. The meal was so good, but you're let down and a little disappointed at the end. But, you still had a good meal. That experience is this movie.
Gangs of London (2020)
The Sopranos of London
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Solid acting, emotional story, male focused, racially and ethnically diverse, and a mystery about who knows what and who did what. And lots of illegal dealings and violence. Underneath it is family drama and the power struggles in business and family as the young or the new regime tries rise up to take control. Just gripping.
Big Fat Liar (2002)
So...I'm 50 and I watched the entire movie?
Well that should tell you something. It's silly, and kind of stupid, and has a bunch of cameos from 90s actors...and it's pretty damn funny. It's just a silly movie that's made for I would say, the preteen age, but what do I know... I'm too old? I did really like the story and Paul Giamatti is just hilarious! I didn't know he had such a range! This speaks to the kid in all of us!
Triple Dog (2010)
Fake reviews, this movie is a stinker
This is a movie scripted by a middle-aged cat lady after watching a bunch of Disney shows, thinking that she knows teen culture and how teens think, act, and speak. Is that true? I don't know but I'm 99.9% certain that this is how this movie happened. Or someone's kid (emphasis on the kid...think 15 at the oldest) whose parent is in the film business green-lit this horrible project. You've already read what the plot is. The wooden acting... UGH. And there's the obvious problem of the actors. It's a shame because there were a few decent actors good sets, you can tell money and thought went into this. Then, the thinking stopped and the script and dialog started. Wow. It's bad. Don't let the fake reviews get you.
Late Night (2019)
Disappointing
Just by reading a synopsis, you could've written the script for this. The jokes are obvious and fall flat, there really isn't any energy about the script, and the characters are just stereotypes from other movies. It's just such a waste of a good cast. If Mindy hired someone to punch up the script this could've been a great movie. But alas it is not.
What/If (2019)
I can't stop watching this "exquisite binge-worthy trash"!!!
Quote from Indie Wire above. The only reason this doesn't have 10 stars is because only Melrose Place deserves that. It's f ing perfect! Everyone is a train wreck, have secrets, are emotional nightmares...but are somehow connected. It IS a 2019 Melrose Place, now that I think about it. Cheesy dialogue, improbable situations, over the top everything. It's JUICY. Oh and the Basic Instinct soundtrack (all the music actually) in the most perfect moments-you'll see what I mean-nice touch! Netflix please a second season! PS Renee you give us a polished nuanced Amanda Woodward. That is the highest compliment I can give you :) just changed this to 10 stars.
Isn't It Romantic (2019)
I actually left halfway through...
It was well produced, shot, had a great cast...but was boring. No real story or character development, it goes nowhere and you don't care if it ever finds its way. I went home and watched Top Chef instead. Disappointing, I live Rebel Wilson! But this ones a clunker.
Crashing (2017)
More absurdly and realistically funny...
So I watched this because I love Artie from Howard, and I didn't know anything else about the cast. For me I had to watch a few episodes then it all gelled-like any other sitcom. However, unlike other sitcoms it's not, laugh joke laugh talk a little laugh joke laugh joke. No lsugh track and no obvious playing for the laugh like an act. It's like spying on real life of comedians and all the convoluted situations that arise. It grew on me and I would have binged the whole thing if I didn't have to walk the dog.
The Maladjusted (2013)
Oh boy. Not good.
First-look at the dates on the previous reviews, all in July 2013. That should be your first clue. Unfortunately the production value of this film is very low. For example the camera is too close in close ups, cutting off the actors' heads. Constantly. It is almost like it was shot using an iPhone. The apparent age discrepancy between the make/female actors makes this story feel "off". Besides that the movie is just boring. You can't follow who is who because they just sit around drinking talking about relationships, no one stands out. Because there isn't any character development you aren't invested. Which is a shame because I have such high hopes for films like these and really root for indies, but skip this one.
Hunting (2015)
Positive reviews?
I think the positive reviews are written by people involved in the movie.
It's a gorgeous Saturday and I am actually motivated...yet I am writing this review to warn the others, who go by IMDb reviews to choose movies. Yes I trusted the system. And, it failed me. I digress. Stop here if you don't want the spoiler, it has to do with timing and not specific plot points. So stop here!
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So the movie is what the plot summaries say it is until the plot twist comes. At the LAST 9 MINUTES. So re-read the the plot summary, and that is the movie for over an hour and ten minutes. Which was fine for the first 15 minutes. I was so mind numbed after the monotony of an hour plus of watching the same thing and having the same mundane situations happen, that I turned the movie off before the plot twist came to fruition. And didn't give it another thought until I started writing this, not a good sign. It was written in another (somewhere else) review that the lack of acting finesse was "refreshing" and the unscripted ad- libbing added "reality" to the movie. Um, we watch movies because THEY AREN'T REAL? And yes, that's what I look for in a band too-just a bunch of untrained people banging away on instruments without following any plan. Larry David can improvise, he has earned that right after x years of perfecting his craft, you people aren't there yet. And the situations in this film do not lend themselves well to improvisation like in Blair Witch Project, which mainly were reactions to events so there it was appropriate. Sigh. The acting was wooden and sophomoric, and there wasn't enough character development for the two characters for you to truly care and be invested. As for the lead actress, maybe following a script would help next time. She has future projects lined up so it will be interesting to compare.
About Last Night (2014)
Trying too hard to be like the original...
Trying to capture the original doesn't let this movie go to where it could have gone. It has that same 80's young feel (Lowe and Moore were in their 20's) but because these characters are older, and it is a much different age, the movie just doesn't work as a true remake. The movie tries to capture the naiveté and awkwardness of a first serious love like the original, but these actors are MUCH older and have been around the block. The goofy "misunderstandings" and doubting of the relationship - they actually say that whomever says "I love you" first loves the person more (sigh) - wouldn't happen over 30. For more of us it's 25. So if they took more liberties with the acting it have been so much better. And that is so disappointing! Kevin Hart plays the same character he does in every movie - and if of course hysterical. It's so sad because these actors are all great but what they are portraying doesn't work. Besides that, it was a cute movie. I was hoping for another Act Like a Man, but alas no.
Bachelorette (2012)
You have to live/have lived a certain lifestyle to get this film
If you: have indiscriminate sex, do drugs (or have close friend who do) are always in trouble, but fall in love the right way and pick really good friends, this movie is for you. If you don't? This movie will horrify you. I've watched it twice and a girlfriend is coming over so that will be time number three. I am not going to summarize the story, because you can find that information yourself, but who hasn't made some really bad decisions and had to pay for them while dragging your friends down too (cringe)...then miraculously recovered? And then they actually forgive you? Well it is usually because they will return the favor. However technical issues are a little apparent in this film, some scene jumping happens a few times but overall it flows.To sum it up, this is a brusque comedy about modern female dysfunctional friendships that you may or may not have experienced - and that experience will impact your enjoyment of the film.
N-Secure (2010)
All over the place...
...and implausible. I can't even figure out what the movie is really supposed to be about, because what the summary stated isn't in this movie. That is a psychological profile/thriller. But the characters aren't developed enough to have a feeling either way about them. Hmm. But I watched the whole thing just so I could accurately comment. The dialogue was horrible, and some of the acting (not all) was...there are no words. It's a shame because I have seen these actors in other films - they deserve better. But another user summed it up saying that Lifetime had better movies, and they were correct. I just reread this review, and it is isn't very clear. Kinda like this movie.
Nine Dead (2009)
May want to pass on this one if you are looking for a hard core suspense movie, however it is a rainy day pick.
If you are like me and read IMDb reviews to decide what to download, and you are looking for a hard-core suspense or horror movie, you may want to pass on this one. The unfortunate part (and isn't this the truth about most of the movies out today) is that it COULD have been a good thriller. If not for the terrible script and stereotypical characters. A black guy, Chinese woman that doesn't speak English, cop, lawyer, priest, gay child molester/possible murderer...it is like the Noah's ark to re-populate the planet in case of nuclear war. The acting, set and backgrounds were actually decent. The story: Nine separate unrelated people are abducted, then chained to metal poles in a cement basement room. They are then then given 90 minutes to figure out their relationship to each other. In the meantime, every 10 minutes (counted down by an old school flip clock mounted on the wall) without an answer to that question a person will die. After informing the 9 of this task the hooded masked jailer dumps a pile of colored chalk on the floor to help them figure out their dilemma, locking the door behind him. Interesting concept. Too bad the movie jumps right into the story without sitting up the premise. For example they don't start right away to try to figure out their connection. Instead - because they have all the time in the world - they talk about how fake this must be, and there is laughing within 5 minutes. Laughing... by 9 people doomed to die, who don't know each other. And they have petty arguments after seeing the first victim gunned down in front of them (poor guy gets a part in this movie for like, 10 minutes), call their hooded jailer an "a**hole", and then try to reason with him. Sigh. As the movie continues the prisoners discover that to answer the question they must disclose all of their deepest darkest secrets to each other. In the process relationships between some of the nine start to surface, and others remain vague and only become clear right before the question is answered. About a third of the way in is where you start to get interested in the characters and why they are there, and who might want to kill them. You almost start rooting for some of them before the end. And the others you just hope will be next. Because solving the puzzle involves hearing information from the characters, there is no way a viewer (like you) can figure out the conclusion of the movie. So it isn't predictable, a good thing. Summary: if you hang in there you will get absorbed. I rate it a 5 because it is actually IS a rainy day today and I watched the entire thing without fast forwarding or changing the channel. So, as a bonus, you may be seeing the vehicle that launched MJH's new direction in acting as a cold hearted b****. If you watch it it to the very end you will be thinking the same thing.
Deadline (2009)
Snore.
A writer Alice (Brittany Murphy) gets dropped off by a friend at a spooky Victorian house, to be alone for a week to write. Her friend drives off leaving Alice alone to explore the house and as she does she finds mini video cassettes of the former residents, a young couple, going about their daily lives. The rest of the movie jumps between the present, the author in the house, and the past, what is happening to the couple's lives by watching the tapes. Even with the dual story line there is no character development, at all. There isn't a reason to even care about what happens to them. You don't know what their goals or hopes are, or their past. Except in a the simplest of references. Like: "He had a history of depression". So when the movie jumps between past and present you don't even want to even bother to try to and figure it out. And Brittany Murphy has the complete inability to keep her mouth closed. As in, lips together, so it looks like she is gasping for air like a fish out of water. She wanders through the entire movie with eyes bugged out and lips apart, brow furrowed (not literally of course with the advent of Botox) and saying nothing because this takes place in an empty house there really isn't a lot of dialogue. I am wondering what the point of this movie was. I really am. No conflict, mute fish-like characters, no plot really or story...hmm. I gave it a 4 because the camera work and production was decent and the bad acting was due to a sophomoric script. This isn't even a good rainy day desperation I will watch this, because nothing is on cable type movie. And Thora Birch was in this so I mistakenly thought it would improve. There is a last gasp at the end to try to scare you but seriously. After an hour and 10 minutes of nothing it is kind of hard to recover. And these movies with the tired plot line of people who are mentally ill and/or on medication is so old. EVERYONE IS ON MEDICATION. Statistically 50% of the US is, so why this should be significant to any plot is beyond me. In short, watch this only if you run out of Ambien.
A Perfect Getaway (2009)
Met all of my criteria for a good thriller...
They are a) I don't hit my mental fast forward even once, or start thinking about something else b) I don't see the twist coming (RARE) and c) I have to look away at least 3 times and/or hide my face because I can't take the suspense. This one had me riveted to the end. The VERY end. A theatrical masterpiece, no. A good thriller? Yes. Drags a bit in the beginning but that is just the setting up of the plot. I was hesitant to watch this because hasn't the "hunted in the jungle" theme been done to death? And, I am picky. If I don't like it in 10 minutes forget it. But good story with solid acting. The juxtaposition of the different relationships in the movie, and the addition of the movie camera, also poses the question of what a "real" romantic relationship is. I don't know if anyone else caught that (and that is not a spoiler - just an observation). Good entertaining flick!
Paranormal Activity (2007)
Coulda Shoulda Woulda...
This COULD have been a good movie. I was hooked until about the 15 minute mark...then, my mind started to wander. The wooden acting and terrible line delivery and over-acting, I felt like I was watching 2 junior high drama nerds. In a movie written by a NYU film student - BEFORE they got in. And subsequently kicked out because NYU has high standards. Something that the investors in this project (American Express and Mastercard) do NOT. No wonder they couldn't get funding. No character development, and the movie wavers between nothing happening, then BAM action. The, nothing. Yawn. The reviewers commenting on the acting must have been in another theater. Or, planet. You watch the couple that the movie is about on screen the entire movie, you would think the writers would have made them interesting. And gee I wonder why they cast the female lead, in every shot you see cleavage. You basically watch a couple, in their suburban house, for 86 minutes. Please think of another movie that does that. Hmmm...still thinking? Because it is BORING! In Poltergeist at least they had people coming and going and they went outside. So consider yourself warned. Just so you know, right when the ouija board caught on fire is where it jumped the shark, and you will be thinking as you leave the theater, damn! Mitzi was right! PS And to all the other reviewers who compare this to Blair Witch: Sir (and madams)...this is no Blair Witch!