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Reviews
The Ipcress File (2022)
Embarrassing
I like the attempt to flesh out palmers character and background. I like the idea of being more faithful to the book. Unfortunately I cannot take the lead actor seriously. He looks like Joe 90 and is about as animated. You cannot make a series of a classic book with a main actor who literally makes the audience cringe. To add insult to injury the opening scenes are similar to the opening of the 60s movie which just invites direct comparison between Joe Cole and Michael Caine. Comparison which is not favourable to Mr Cole.
The 355 (2022)
Cheap mission impossible rip off
Jessica Chasrain supposedly turned down a role in the Tom Cruise Mission Impossible film series so it is easy to see where the idea comes from for the 355. Chastain tries to rectify her error by being involved in the creation of this wannabe franchise.
Unfortunately for her the film is a perfect example of bland. The pacing is pedestrian, the plot non existent and the characters, for the most part, cypher. Chastain, as the main character, is the least interesting character and is far less charismatic than Lupita, Cruz and Kruger.
All this could be compensated for if the film had spectacular action scenes like those performed by Tom Cruise in the Mission Impossible series. The action is unimaginative and the exciting bits are obviously performed by stunt doubles. When the actors.
Killer High (2018)
I've seen better film on teeth
Awful. This is a lazy cynical cash grab which I suspect didn't grab any cash.
Budget is microscopic, writing is horrible, acting is cringeworthy and the director either didn't care or has no talent. Probably both.
It's not even rubbish in an entertaining way. It's just a drag.
Day of the Dead (2021)
Even the zombies look bored
The zombie genre has been milked more than dry over the years and this derivative, lazy offering brings nothing new to the table. Sloppy writing, workmanlike acting and perfunctory direction. The place is so slow it's glacial.
One to skip.
No Time to Die (2021)
Disappointed. Doesn't sustain its almost three hour runtime
This is the final film for Daniel Craig.
Like Matt Damon as Jason Bourne his story was over by the end of the third film. Everything after that, for both characters, is redundant.
Craig is too old for the part now and it shows. He really should have left at the end of Skyfall.
He has no rapport with any of the two main actresses in the film. He does spark with Ana de armas, but sadly she is not in the movie for long.
The scenes in Cuba seem to show Craig having fun with the role, which is the first time in all of his five films. It's also the last time anyone has fun in this grim depressing overlong movie.
Lea Seydoux was wooden in Spectre. She's slightly better here but still not very good.
Lashana Lynch is miscast. She doesn't have the presence or charm to pull off the role of 007.
Rami Malek is genuinely forgettable as the villain. I have nothing to say about him.
The standout performance of the film is de armas who is funny, light hearted and sexy. She takes us back to a time when Bond movies were fun.
The cinematographer does a great job. The stunts are mostly good.
The main problems are the writing and the relentless grimness and depression. The dark tone wears you down in a movie that's already far too long.
The writing is ridiculous. No one can be a distinct random person. Everyone has to have some relationships to the other characters. It's like star wars.
Not recommended.
Now that the Craig run of films is over can we go back to stand alone missions with a classic Bond. Henry Cavill would be my first choice.
No Time to Die (2021)
Disappointed. Doesn't sustain its almost three hour runtime
This is the final film for Daniel Craig.
Like Matt Damon as Jason Bourne his story was over by the end of the third film. Everything after that, for both characters, is redundant.
Craig is too old for the part now and it shows. He really should have left at the end of Skyfall.
He has no rapport with any of the two main actresses in the film. He does spark with Ana de armas, but sadly she is not in the movie for long.
The scenes in Cuba seem to show Craig having fun with the role, which is the first time in all of his five films. It's also the last time anyone has fun in this grim depressing overlong movie.
Lea Seydoux was wooden in Spectre. She's slightly better here but still not very good.
Lashana Lynch is miscast. She doesn't have the presence or charm to pull off the role of 007.
Rami Malek is genuinely forgettable as the villain. I have nothing to say about him.
The standout performance of the film is de armas who is funny, light hearted and sexy. She takes us back to a time when Bond movies were fun.
The cinematographer does a great job. The stunts are mostly good.
The main problems are the writing and the relentless grimness and depression. The dark tone wears you down in a movie that's already far too long.
The writing is ridiculous. No one can be a distinct random person. Everyone has to have some relationships to the other characters. It's like star wars.
Not recommended.
Now that the Craig run of films is over can we go back to stand alone missions with a classic Bond. Henry Cavill would be my first choice.
Vagrant Queen (2020)
Don't waste your time
Thee is nothing original here. The series has nothing to say. It is presumably to attempt to hide this deficiency that the series looks and feels like a Joel Schumacher batman movie. Overblown, overwraught, badly directed and genuinely irritating to watch.
Treat the glowing reviews with a pinch of salt.
Knives Out (2019)
an honest review
I don't know what motivates the people who give this a 10/10 review or claim that it is the best movie ever. To be honest the movie is below average, and I found it more annoying than entertaining.
Daniel Craig's accent is ridiculous and he can't do comedy, although in fairness to him the attempts at comedy in the film are universally poor.
I was bored/irritated. Wait to see it at home.
Black '47 (2018)
Bizarre revenge film divorced from reality
The film is hard to pigeonhole, in that it attempts to be a sentimental account of Irish suffering and a violent revenge fantasy. It fails to convince as either. Like the dead broke poor man's braveheart it is so over the top it is hard to take it seriously.
Of course the Irish love any excuse to wave the victim card but the comic strip approach to the subject matter is laughable. I was genuinely surprised that the British characters didn't have horns. Steven Seagal level stupidity and an appearance by Stephen Rea make this one to miss.
Karen's Room (2013)
Poor acting lets down the film
There is the germ of a good idea in this film but the amateurish performances prevents the project from engaging the audience. There seems to be no consensus of opinion on the tone of the piece between the director and cast. Lauren Shotton is completely artificial in everything she does on screen, making even this brief running time something of a chore. I was not involved in the short and found the entire thing somewhat tiresome. Production values don't jar, despite the obviously tiny budget because the director wisely uses a readily available location, no special effects or action sequences.I am prepared to accept the possibility that the writer and director might have a future in the industry, but he needs to get a better overview of his work and stop casting incompetent performers to bring his work to life.
Jason Bourne (2016)
no plot, shaky camera work ruins the film
The Bourne films have always suffered from director Greengrass' inability to shoot a coherent action sequence, but in Jason Bourne (2016)the problem increases tenfold.
All of the action is almost unwatchable, and literally impossible to follow,in fact even scenes of dialogue only- and there are LOTS of long scenes of dialogue- are spoiled by the directors insistence on randomly zooming in and out of the film.
Even more than this, Jason Bourne (the film) suffers because Jason Bourne ( the character) has completed his story.The Bourne Ultimatum concluded the Bourne trilogy very satisfyingly.
This film just seems like a petulant insult to Tony Gilroy ( Greengrass and Gilroy famously don't get on), or a cynical cash grab. Probably both.
Everything in this feels like deja vu: you've seen it all before in other Bourne films.
Alicia Vikander is the stand out acting wise. Damon does his usual schtick. Vincent Cassel does nothing and Julia Stiles embarrasses herself.
Wait for it on TV
Captain America: Civil War (2016)
meh
I have tried to avoid spoilers in this review to the best of my ability.
While there are several good things about Captain America Civil War,including one terrific action sequence, it suffers from the same faults as Age of Ultron.
That is to say that the characters don't engage the audience. Their flippant irreverence is amusing at first, but it is impossible to care what happens to them. They all remain plot devices who bicker and make up as the whims of the plot demand, but none of them seem to have a life beyond what is presented on screen. There are too many of them now with characters that I found it impossible to care about. If the directors decided to thin out the herd by killing a few off I wouldn't mind.
Not that there seems to be much danger of that happening. Whatever is going on there never seems to be any jeopardy for the characters among all the CGI.
In this regard Civil War, is a retrograde step from Winter Soldier.
To be honest I doubt that Civil War will be the movie that bursts the superhero bubble at the box office, but I think it is probably a step closer.
Spectre (2015)
now we know that c stands for crap
What a terrible let down and waste of some.fine actors and a classic character.The plot twist is absolutely moronic. bond is not a superhero he doesn't,the need to be at the centre of his own universe, and he doesn't need a Lex Luther type character. Who knows him personally. The brilliance of the Bond villains is that they don't even know who 007 is.
Some of the acting is dubious-step forward Andrew Scott. Worse Craig looks bored and this leads to a further disconnect from a film that isn't very engaging in the first place. There is never any sense of peril or threat and the action, although nicely shot is dull. It is hard to remember the last time there was a really original stunt in Bond. Music is awful most of the good actors are wasted. Sadly this is Bond's nadir. I
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
superb
I really enjoyed this movie.The cast were perfectly cast, the humour was fantastic, the soundtrack unforgettable and the costumes dreamy. The movie is said to recreate the 1960s,which were before my time. It did create a gorgeous fantasy world far nicer than our drab one.
I think this movie is easily as good as kinsman or rogue nation, and it deserves to be a big hit.
I am only slightly familiar with the TV series but it has been well served by this imaginative and quirky remake. I look forward to seeing how uncle develops, and if it matches the international unit from television.
I would love to see a sequel or two and will be buying the bluray.
Last Passenger (2013)
What happened to Dougray Scott's career?
I have been forced to repost this review ( with alterations) after someone connected to the film reported it.The original broke no rules and neither does this.
(This review was deleted by IMDb based on an abuse report filed by another user) OK I was never particularly optimistic about the chances for this film but when the chance to see it presented itself, I thought I'd give it a shot.
My expectations were low when it took so long with no sign of release. Unfortunately my expectations weren't low enough. I can certainly see why this has not been released in any cinemas or broadcast anywhere. Its strictly B movie fodder, and that is being generous. The budget isn't adequate to realise a thriller like this.
Dougray Scott is good as usual and gives a performance far better than this tripe deserves. Lindsey Duncan obviously needed a paycheck. The fact that dyslexic Dawn from Eastenders is the female lead speaks volumes. The sooner she gives up acting for full time modelling or reality TV the better.
Production values are variable. Plot has an idea or two but is full of holes.
I notice there are 4 glowing reviews on the message boards for this movie. None of the 4 have reviewed anything else, 3 of them have never posted before or since and 2 of them joined the IMDb very shortly before ..
Traveller (2013)
I hated it
Traveller is a by the numbers "Gypsy thriller" with little to recommend it. Its incredibly clichéd,resorting to gangster movie clichés and poorly staged fistfights for punctuation.
The script is awful ( i haven't read the book upon which it is based but as the same writer wrote both I would not be optimistic).
performances vary massively but no-one is impressive. This may be because of benjamin F John's lacklustre direction. This is John's only directing credit, and it feels like a contractual obligation.
perhaps it is a generational thing but I can't see the appeal of David essex. I realise that he was successful in the 1970's but he has no appeal to my age group.
I was bored by this and wished I hadn't bothered. Avoid.
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)
I enjoyed it
Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit is an entertaining modern thriller. It is beautifully shot, well paced and quite diverting.
The script is a little linear when compared to Clancy's novels but this criticism is made redundant by the suspense, action and glamour the film provides.
I wasn't sure about Chris Pine as Jack. My initial reservations were eased once I saw the direction that the script, and the reboot in general, were taking with the character.
Kiera Knightley is fine as usual and its nice to see her in a contemporary action thriller at last.
Kevin Costner's career resurgence continues. It is ironic that he was the first actor considered to play Jack when The Hunt For Red October was being filmed.
The best performance is that of Kenneth Branagh as the villain. He also directs with panache, which is a welcome relief after his awful remake of Sleuth.
Worth watching.
World War Z (2013)
world war stupid
I hate movies like this. Joyless, unashamed cash grabs that just cobble a few derivative scenes together with little sense or characterisation. The pacing is terrible, and with the exception of Brad Pitt, no effort is made to create characters that the audience can care about. They are merely cyphers to provide support to, or conveniently die to make way for, Brad Pitt and his ego.
Plot wise the movie is based on a best selling book. I haven't read the book but its hard to imagine a best seller being as idiotic as this film.
Pitt is a retired medico ( because Pitt still sees himself as some kind of rebel) who is the back up to a UN expert travelling the world searching for the cure to a zombie outbreak. Obviously Pitt won't play second fiddle to anyone so the UN genius conveniently falls over and shoots himself in the head. I'm serious. That is the level of writing.
Pitt travels the globe like a scruffy jinx, everywhere he goes is overrun by zombies almost immediately.
Unfortunately the ending is utterly moronic. It makes no sense whatever and is completely anti-climactic. Apparently the ending was reshot, which may explain why the movie's resolution takes place in Wales.
The end suggests the possibility of a sequel. If they make one I won't watch it.
Dredd (2012)
great fun
Dredd is an uncompromising vision of Judge Dredd's world and adventures.
There is no hesitation in any aspect of the film. The script, performances and direction are all first rate. Karl Urban is excellent as Dredd to the extent that Sylvester Stallone's campy buffoonish take on the character is forgotten. Lena Headey is typically excellent as MAma and Olivia Thirlby is both vulnerable and tough as rookie Anderson.
I'm delighted that I own this bluray and I hope that we get a chance for a sequel. Easily one of the best sci fi action movies in years.
Deranged (2012)
dismal
I wasn't very optimistic going into this. Neil Jones directed the dreadful THE REVEREND, produced the truly abysmal ZOMBIE KING. Natalie Celino starred in the laughable UMBRAGE and Victoria Broom starred in the dire ZOMBIE WOMEN OF Satan.
THe movie begins well enough. It is at least technically competent, unlike Jones' last cheap effort ZOMBIE KING which looked like it was filmed on a camcorder.
The signs that the movie will disappoint are clear from early on. The score denotes suspense when nothing is happening, merely a car driving through the countryside. Victoria Broom's habit of laughing after every "amusing " line is irritating and when the other girls tell her to shut up I knew how they felt.
THe lead actress Marcia DaValez is striking looking with her peroxide cropped hair and eurasian looks. She has an accent that is, at times, impenetrable.
Victoria Broom plays the "saucy" one. Her character is irritating, which is not her fault, and unconvincingly acted , which is.
Natalie Celino was utterly wooden in UMBRAGE but gives a decent performance here, so she has either taken acting lessons in the meantime or the director of UMBRAGE failed to get a performance out of her.
Craig Fairbrass stars in a lot of these zero budget efforts but seldom seems to acknowledge or promote them.
The script is unsatisfying and makes little sense and there is little suspense or horror to be found.
I wouldn't bother.
The Zombie King (2013)
an honest review
The Zombie King is obviously extremely low budget. I was prepared to make allowances because of this. However the film has numerous flaws that no amount of money could improve.
The script is supposed to be a comedy horror story. Unfortunately its neither scary or amusing. It drags from the earliest moment and never seems to pick up.
The acting is embarrassingly amateurish. Nobody in this film is going to win an Oscar. THe two "names" add nothing.
Bizarrely even the make up fails entirely. The zombies look like nothing more than what they are. Bad actors in poorly applied make up.
I hope my feelings on this movie are entirely clear.
A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)
rubbish from start to finish
The fourth pointless sequel to the superb Eighties thriller Die Hard hits a new low. Die Hard ( I suppose this film must be reference to as the original or Die hard One nowadays) was a brilliantly made action movie with an amazing performance by Alan Rickman. It didn't require or invite sequels. The sequel in the airport (DH2) was rubbish , the third one was an improvement on the second, the fourth was OK but not needed and the fifth is just a shameless cash grab.
Nothing in Die Hard 5 works. The plot is non existent and idiotically thought out, the acting is appalling ( Willis sleepwalks through his role and Jai Courtenay- who I liked in Jack Reacher- is out of his depth here. he is not capable of carrying a franchise).
John Moore directs- a phrase guaranteed to send a shudder through every film buff. Moore is as crappy here as his reputation would suggest. With a Die hard film Moore could have turned his career around but he merely proves once again that he has no talent.
The action scenes use Greengrass style shakycam- unless they hired Michael J Fox as DOP- which means even they are unwatchable. Do not waste your time on this.
The Bourne Legacy (2012)
i liked it
The reviews that slate this film confuse me. I can't understand the hate.
I thought Tony Gilroy was a much better director than Paul Greengrass. Thankfully there was no shakycam.
Jeremy Renner was good in the role of Aaron Cross. Rachel Weisz was far better than Julia Stiles or Franke Polenta or whoever, Renner had real chemistry between them. Their relationship was well written, well played. I cared about them.
There was plenty of action. I particularly liked the action scene in the house. The scene with the doctor in the lab on a rampage was one of the most suspenseful things I've seen on film.
Will buy the DVD and hope for another film with Renner, Weisz and Greengrass.
Umbrage (2009)
dull as ditchwater
I can think of very little good to say about this movie.
It is hard to follow,poorly acted and lacking in suspense,horror or gore. The story doesn't make sense to begin with and characters who keep turning up add nothing.
The actors do their best- which isn't much. In fairness to them Alan Rickman, Tim Dalton, Vanessa Redgrave couldn't make this interesting.
There are no special fx to speak of and the special voices in one scene are impossible to understand.
The most offensive thing is that there is a graphic rape scene played for laughs. There is no excuse for this type of insensitivity. Not even worth a download.
A Day of Violence (2010)
hated it!
I don't know if I've ever seen a worse film than this. I can't remember one.
The title says it all..it's just plot less, pointless violence. Given that the film opens with a main character dead on a slab we know how it will end which robs the film of any potential twists or suspense it might have had.
There are no twists in the writing and the direction is pathetic. The acting is downright embarrassing. No-one involved can act. None of the characters are likable.
The dialogue is awful and consists mainly of profanity. I am not easily offended and swear a lot in real life, but used constantly profanity becomes repetitive and irritating.
I can't think of any reason to watch this. Don't waste your money.