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Everybody's Everything (2019)

Who??

Going into this, I had no idea who this guy was. I still don't. Just another, self-entitled kid from the suburbs who appears to have grown up in a typical American family. He strings together a few words that rhyme and this is considered talent? "I FALL INTO THE ABYSS, HOW DID I END UP LIKE THIS?" I just came up with that. Now am I the next great rapper? No!! Everything I heard from this guy sounded like "BLAH BLAH BLAH, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH". Gone are the days of real rap, people who told of true hardship, PAC, NWA, WU-TANG, BODY COUNT. After watching this drivel, I looked further into this guy and his work. This is not rap, it's just some normal kid from the suburbs rhythmically talking, about nothing. To me, this is just another dead junkie who had opportunities in life and threw it all away because he just wanted to get wasted with his friends. Who f@#king cares??

Lazarat (2019)

Typical Good Guy Bad Guy Crap

I rate every movie I watch, but seldom review them. This one, well, it contains almost everything that is wrong with crime movies. We have the old, stale, story of a crime boss hunted by the super cops. I say super cops because, like so many movies of this kind, they are indestructible. Thousands of machine gun fired bullets and not one hits them. Oh sure, the random, regular, nameless cops get taken out with ease, but not our few super cops. And they have those magical guns that can fire thousands of bullets without ever having to reload. As far as the acting, if you are going to make an English speaking movie, ensure all of your actors speak it clearly. I understand the desire to be authentic and cast actors from the region, but if their English is poor, we can't understand them. Add to that, so many of today's substandard actors feel mumbling their lines adds dramatic effect. It doesn't! SPEAK UP AND SPEAK CLEARLY. After 3,742 movies have been made using this same story line, why did these film makers feel the world needed to see the same crap. Just because you have a camera, it doesn't mean you should make movies.

Glass (2019)

Some got it, some didn't.

After reading the reviews here and seeing the extreme high and low ratings, it looks to me that some people understood the ending and some did not. In my home, I got it, while my wife didn't, I rated it high, while she did not. Could this conclusion result in a new generation of this franchise? Those who got it will likely say yes, those who did not get will likely say no.

In the Tall Grass (2019)

Typical Recent Stephen King

I keep watching these modern Stephen King story based movies. Why won't I learn?? In his early days he was the master of the macabre. Brilliant stories from start to finish. But that all faded away. This movie followed the typical path of King's more recent stories. Promising beginning, muddled middle, disappointing ending (who will ever forget the movie with Pierce Brosnan kung fu fighting against a tree?)

Bad Kids Go to Hell (2012)

Scooby Doo

I don't know enough about the person who made this to determine if they are an actual film maker. But, as I watched this, I found a movie that didn't know what it wanted to be.

This was a complete mess. It tried to be suspense, then, in the end, it tried for horror movie gore. If you watched this, think really hard about the end. It made no sense at all. Timelines were messed up, no resolution to the story, just a garbled mess.

I will refrain from the so obvious comparisons to BREAKFAST CLUB, and focus on SCOOBY DOO.

It looked like a very very weak version of a BREAKFAST CLUB knockoff with some suspense. It ended up looking like an episode of SCOOBY DOO.

There was a good concept hidden in this movie, but the maker appeared to work very very hard at burying that concept.

I don't know who made this movie. If it was a high school film class project, it was OK. If it was meant to be a real movie...........it was truly horrible. I didn't even mention the terribly weak attempts at slapstick humour.

This movie had no business being made.

Hidden 3D (2011)

Are you kidding me?

OK, beyond the terrible acting, I am left to ask one question. It can be read in the title.

First off, there is one character who i s a short pudgy Jewish guy. And he is the greedy, money hungry guy. What asshole wrote that part??

Then we have a bunch of teenagers. The main character looks to be mid 30's. Who are these kids? I get that you need people to kill off, but we never actually even know who these kids are and why they hooked up with this older man.

Nothing in this movie even makes sense. There is a trophy girl with a big rack linked to the money hungry, chubby, Jewish guy. Really? Who decided that this movie should typecast the Jewish guy? Sure, no where in the movie does it mention he is Jewish but the actor has been cast to fill every Jewish stereotype there is.

Again, I ask, who the hell are all the teenagers? Why does this 30 something guy have all these teen friends? Is he a pedophile??

To sum up this movie, well, in my life I have seen hundreds of horror movies. The worst of which were either Bunnyman or Microwave Massacre. But sweet crap, this has taken the crown. Everything about this movie is insulting and horrible.

Money that could have fed the hungry went to making this piece of garbage. I would love to meet to writer some day and give him a piece of my mind.

I voted a 1/10, only because there was no zero option.

Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)

Weak and predictable.

• This could have been so much bigger. Yes, the story is old and we all know the outcome, but the budget could have built an epic of this.

• Having said that, my biggest issue is the casting. Charlize Theron is possibly the most naturally beautiful woman of this area. Diane Lane being the crown holder from the 80's and 90's.

• Then we have the always sour and grumpy looking Kristen Stewart. Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the blandest of them all. Perhaps Mila Kunis could have been cast in this role. But Kristen Stewart???

• I won't get into the story, that info can be found on the movie's page. But it seemed to try to be more than it was. I'm sorry, I just can't get past the idea of Kristen Stewart being more beautiful than Charlize Theron. I'm sorry, I just can't get passed that.

Grave Encounters 2 (2012)

Bloody awful.

• I watched the first one and thoroughly enjoyed it. This was obviously an attempt at a quick sequel cash grab.

• The first third of the movie is focused on adolescences getting wasted and partying. Amongst the hot partiers is the cliché dork. We are not sure how, but after vomit riddled kid parties, he managed to convince his 'beautiful people' friends to join him on this film class project.

• So much of the early parts of the movie try to build story and character, that everything else just seems rushed and forced. The strength of the original was the build up of suspense. This movie did away with that and chose to focus on building the wooden characters.

• This movie represented everything that is wrong with sequels. Nothing more than a very weak attempt at a cash grab. I hope the film makers lost their shirts on this. They took something that was entertaining and followed it up with this pathetic schlock. Can you say "Sell-Out"?

• Awful, bloody awful.

Grave Encounters (2011)

Not bad for what it is.

• As a Canadian who has seen a vast number of dreadful, low budget, Canadian movies, I was not expecting much from this. Yes, it does use the found footage and hand-held camera perspective made popular by The Blair Witch Project. But that has become a mainstream technique for movie making. I think it has gone from annoying to accepted.

• The movie itself is about a ghost hunting reality show. The lead character does a good job coming off as the typical cheesy reality show host. Building false drama, setting up fake contributions to the program to make it more interesting, etc.

• The concept of the movie is rather interesting. You can read about it in the synopsis. The special effects were restrained, but tasteful. After all, it was a low budget movie. There were not many 'scare' scenes, but rather a general eerie, creepy air about the movie.

• Don't go into this movie expecting a thrill ride horror, go into it knowing it is low budget, with some flaws. Overall I enjoyed this movie because I didn't expect much and was pleasantly surprised.

The Last Will and Testament of Rosalind Leigh (2012)

Not a horror movie.

As a Canadian, I have seen hundreds of Canadian made movies, using billions in tax dollar grants. Almost every one of those movies, that I have seen, has been a major disappointment. This film is just the latest letdown.

It is billed as a horror, but it really is just about an elderly woman who passed away and her sadness due to her son having not shared her faith and never came to see her anymore.

There is a weird angel cult reference throughout the movie and an odd little monster which brought out more chuckles than gasps of horror.

I waited and waited and waited for some semblance of horror, then the end credits were rolling and I realized there was not going to be any real horror. A few little predictable, silly attempts at shock, but really nothing.

This movie had more of an artsy feel about it. The type of movie the pretentious artsy crowd would fawn over. But as a horror buff, I was greatly disappointed. There was potential to do so much more with the angel cult thing, the Jesus freaks, the little monster representing the dark side, but it fell so far short that it was little more than a bore.

The Sacred (2012)

Horror??

This was billed as a horror. Really? So much of the story had been done before. Possessed doll. Cabin in the woods. Etc.

Now if you are looking for topless women and some lesbian action, this is the movie.

A poor attempt at horror, a mediocre attempt at soft core porn.

I did give it a 3 because the camera work was pretty good. The story, acting and weak attempts at horror were all quite poor.

If you get to watch this for free, go ahead, but don't pay hard earned money for it.

We need some more creativity in horrors out of Hollywood.

The Disappeared (2012)

Oh my.

I have made the following comment a few times: "This movie did not need to be made". Sweet almighty, that sentiment applies here. OK, I get the whole survivalist struggle. If this were some time in the 1940's, this might be new and innovative. I am watching this in 2014. It is, yet another dismal Canadian film. I am Canadian and I am so tired of our government doling out our tax dollars to make such movies.

We have the same old 'man's fight to survive' cliché. Old fishermen (portrayed by terrible, unknown actors) cast away in life boats. Their struggle to battle hunger and madness. Yawn. It's been done, ad nausea. If my fellow Canadian countrymen can not come up with an original idea and some real funding, please stop spending millions in tax payer dollars to make movies that 127 people will see. We have starving children, homeless single Mothers, etc, yet my government keeps dishing out millions to amateur film makers to make poor knock offs of movies that have already been made.

I think the few positive reviews I read on here were from cast members, crew, or family members.

This is truly an awful movie and waste of film.

Independence Daysaster (2013)

Ouch!!

*** POSSIBLE SPOILERS ***

What happens when you take the movies INDEPENDENCE DAY and WAR OF THE WORLDS, mix in some poor CGI, weak actors and a dozen film school level sci-fi clichés? You get this disaster.

This is just another one of the low budget Canadian sci-fi movies that are churned out on a seemingly weekly basis. The movie makers should be sued for ripping off the two aforementioned movies. And ripping them off poorly.

I am a firm believer that some movies just don't need to be made and this one is high on that list. It also seems that the same theme is used in all cheap Canadian sci-fi movies. A rugged man and an attractive woman team up to save the world. Enough already. Either come up with some original ideas, or stop wasting the taxpayer grants you get to make these regurgitated movies from the Canadian film industry bargain bin of ideas.

Elysium (2013)

Too many holes.

*** POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT ***

Visually, this movie came off as almost believable. The CGI was not too over-the-top. The story was not bad either, though many aspects of it looked like other movies (i.e. District 9).

It really feel apart for me in the last 30 minutes or so. Max gets into the lab, albeit by force. Then he escapes. For the next half an hour, he is running through hallways, rooms, corridors, elevators, etc. Not one single person any where, except for the mercenaries. Really? Was the fair in town and everyone was at the cotton candy vendor?

Then, this facility has incredibly high tech equipment, yet Spider's ship lands and no one notices? No cops, guards, droids? Oh yeah, I forgot, everyone was at the fair. (Kidding, there wasn't really a fair, at least none was ever mentioned). *LOL*.

I went into this hoping for a strong sci-fi with all the usual bells and whistles. Sadly, to me, it came off the rails.

The Theatre Bizarre (2011)

Odd, but interesting.

The summary gives a pretty good run down of what this movie is about. It is a series of short stories, all shown in a run down theatre.

Though the acting is marginal, it works as the stories are brief.

There is plenty of gore if that is your thing. But what I liked was all of the stories were unique and they all were played out within a story.

If you need a movie that develops characters, this isn't it. They are short stories, quick and to the point. But there were some clever stories, played out well in the short time frame.

This movie is a true B-movie. Low budget, relatively unknown actors, etc. But there were some scenes that would make the most hardened biker a little squeamish.

For a B-movie, I actually kind of enjoyed it, and there isn't much I really enjoy on film. If you have a movie package with your cable plan and this movie is there, give it a watch.

13 Eerie (2013)

My tax dollars hard at work.

As a Canadian, I am so sick and tired of my government dropping huge amounts of money to fund terrible, cookie cutter movies.

This is no exception. The only thing I found of quality about this was the camera work. It was centred and in focus.

In an age where zombie movies have been done to death, some epic con artist found a way to convince my government to put out the funds to create this piece of crap. We have starving people in Canada, yet vast amounts of money get dumped into something this bad. And it happens every day.

This movie is terrible. Plain and simple. I will not waste any more of my time typing. It is obvious that people involved in the movie, in some way, tried to load it with high praise. The movie is low end, low budget, and simply awful.

Evil Dead (2013)

Comedy??

My and my lady put this on. The acting was dismal, but we thought we would just carry on through the movie. We thought we were watching a horror, but we were laughing throughout. The silly elements of this movie made us think we were watching a parody comedy. like Scary Movie. When I came here to write a review, I was shocked to read that this was rated as a horror.

We honestly thought this was a comedy. Everything was so cliché, typical horror stuff, and so weakly portrayed, that we laughed through the whole movie, like one of the Chucky movies.

Really? This is a horror?? Young people in a cabin in the woods, trapped with an evil entity. Hmmm, that sounds original.

We thought it was OK as a horror/comedy like Scary Movie. But as a true horror movie?? All we can say is *LOL*.

The Perfect Boss (2013)

Kill me now.

As a Canadian, I am used to seeing these awful movies that our tax payer dollars pay for.

But after my 47 years on this earth, I don't think I have ever seen a movie worse than this.

Everything is bad. The main characters are abysmal actors. And the supporting cast is even worse.

At first this felt like an after school special meets a soap opera. But then it just got worse.

It isn't even visually pleasing. The main character looks like a squinting duck. And she is cast as the attractive one.

What enrages me is that my tax dollars went to make this visual abortion. I clicked on 1 star, only because that was the lowest I could rate this. I don't know how this movie could have been worse. It is the poster child of how not to make a movie. I want to meet the film maker, and beat him. My tax dollars made this. Why???????

I am disgusted that my tax dollars went to make something worse than a high school production.

House at the End of the Street (2012)

Let down.

Going into this, I was hoping for a true horror. Not a slasher film, but something that could actually send a chill or two into a seasoned horror buff. Sadly that never happened. At no point did I find anything that made me say 'Wow, didn't see that coming'.

This movie should be dubbed as a thriller, not a horror. Had I gone into it expecting a thriller, I may not have been so let down. This might be thought a horror movie by the 13 year old girl MTV crowd, but for the rest of us, it was a long, drawn out drama, leading to a few minor suspense scenes.

A decent movie to rent on video, but not worth inflated movie theater pricing.

Silent House (2011)

Was this trying to be soft core porn?

I don't know where to start. Twenty minutes in and I have been scratching my head. We have seen outside several times and it is daylight. Why is it pitch black in the house? It is daylight in my home right now, I have the drapes open and it is blazing bright in here. Why are they walking around with lanterns? I know why, the director needs to find cheap ways to build suspense and thinks the viewer is a moron. Open the drapes.

Now to the porn question. We have seen more of the female star's cleavage than her face. Don't get me wrong, I did like what I saw, but it was so gratuitous that it left me thinking again, the director has no idea how to captivate an audience, so go for cheap tricks. Keep it dark and show a lot of cleavage.

Don't get me started on the calibre of acting. I am Canadian and my country produces copious amounts of video garbage. This movie made me think it was Canadian.

OPEN THE DAMN DRAPES!! I CAN'T SEE WHAT'S GOING ON!!

Haywire (2011)

Really?

OK, who the hell is Gina Carano? In a movie that actually had a decent storyline, This Gina person completely ruined the movie for me. I have always felt that Channing Tatum is a dismal actor, but to watch a movie where he was not the worst actor really pained me.

It took me 3 tries to get through this movie. I am just glad I did not have to pay to see it. I feel like Simon on American Idol, dashing out the painful truth, without tact. Gina Carano's acting performance in this movie was HORRIBLE. To build a movie around her is box office suicide. Maybe the producers only had $127 for casting, I don't know, but this was a potentially good movie, completely destroyed by an awful acting performance. Hey, Channing Tatum was bad in this, but he was not the worst element of the film. Watch at your own peril.

Immortals (2011)

Bloody Awful

I struggled through this entire movie. I love a well done, warrior movie. This was just the opposite of that. I would like to mention one positive to this movie, but I saw none.

Here is an example, the evil leader says to the captured hero: "Tomorrow, I release the Titans". Release them now, while you have the hero captured. Better yet, kill the hero. This evil leader killed everyone he saw in the movie, even his aides. But he lets the hero live?? AHHHHHHH AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL.

I still struggle to see any part of this film that is not awful. Acting=awful. Script=awful. Cinematography=awful. Plot=awful. HOW DO I GET MY EIGHT BUCKS BACK?????

Why is the lowest rating I can enter only 1? AAAHHHHHHHHH. It just keeps getting worse. Make it stop.

The Tree of Life (2011)

Is there a movie in here somewhere?

SPOILER ALERT. I am a movie buff. There is really only one genre of film that I do not like. That would be the 'artsy' film. I have had people telling me their take on symbolisms in certain artsy movies. I understand the symbolism, I just don't enjoy it in a movie.

For the first 15 minutes or so, it was a movie, with people. A vague, cloaked story seemed to be lurking in there, somewhere. Then, out of the blue, we were hit with an array of odd imagery and classical music and opera. This went on for a bit, then we had several nature scenes. Then, are you ready for it? ......... Dinosaurs. Yes, dinosaurs. Then imagery from space. OK, we are now roughly 35 minutes in. Where did the cast go? I felt like it was now a different movie, but I don't remember changing it. Oh, now we are back to seeing the cast again. So we had a half an hour of something that would be at home on the Discovery Channel. Oh, wait, OK, well, not sure what that was all about. Now we see a leaf on the ground. Then it blows away. I guess that's it for the leaf. Hmmm, alright, now it seems we are watching a child growing up. Still waiting for some relevant dialogue. Well we are now 45 minutes in, the end is drawing near. WHAT???? This is over 2 hours long? Oh sweet lord NOOOOO!!!!!

I realize some people find this type of film riveting and haunting. Which may explain it's high star rating. Myself, I'm afraid I simply can not give it more than a 2. There may have been a good movie in there, but I found it got lost amongst the odd scenes. Remember, there were scenes with dinosaurs.

Paul (2011)

Forced Vulgarity

I really enjoyed most aspects of this movie. It was a fun alien romp. However, I am not a fan of Seth Rogen. I find most of his films force vulgar language where it isn't needed.

Yes, vulgar language is a part of our lives and it has a place in cinema. But it's as if they forced vulgar language into scenes in this movie that just sounded forced. Natural vulgarity adds to the realism of a film, but here, there was just too much that added nothing.

As far as the movie itself, I rather enjoyed it. Nothing epic, nothing Oscar worthy, but a fun film to watch.

I rated a 6, but if the forced vulgarity was kept to a normal amount, I could have given it a 7.

Fatal Performance (2013)

Bloody Awful

As a Canadian, I cringe when I see a movie is Canadian. Our government, therefore, my tax dollars, go towards grants for these movies. Every week, dozens of these awful movies are churned out. I watch my tax dollars continue to fund these terrible movies. I write to my government officials, but they don't care.

If you watch this, I really hope you didn't pay for it. Movies like this are evidence that anyone can be an actor. Acting skill not required.

I can not find one thing about this movie to say was even OK. Everything was dismal. Even something as simple as the camera-work, all bad. I am just saddened that I can not rate below a 1 star.

This is just another example of a movie that shouldn't have been made and another massive waste of my Canadian tax dollars.