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jorgito2001
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Godforsaken (2019)
A Cussing Christian movie with too many subplots!
If you've ever wondered what it would be like to watch 12 different movies at the same time, this overly long, crappy, and very confusing a movie is for you!
They should've called this one "Subplot Apocalypse", you get drug dealers, gang bangers, Brazilian Carnival goers, pregnant women in Greece, old ladies in Idaho, Darth Vader sounding demons, cringey music numbers, many uses of the underused phrase "beloved brother" & a finale straight out of "Solid Gold"..its total pandemonium.
I think this is supposed to be some kind of "Christian" movie given the final title card...Never seen one with quite so many profanities in it! Weird! Just WEIRD!
Departing Seniors (2023)
Fun little slasher, in the vein of "Happy Death Day"
Every once in a while you find a horror gem among tons and tons of crap on the various TV streamers and this one is a good one for sure! The direction is on point and the acting is surprisingly good. Plenty of twists and turns throughout the story will keep you guessing. Saying anything else to avoid spoilers, but has "Happy Death Day" vibes with the better elements of "Scream".
Some Gory Gore hounds may be disappointed by the lack of blood and guts, and I doubt this one will be winning horror film of the year, but it doesn't detract from a fun "whodunnit?" teen slasher on a non-Hollywood budget.
The Lake (2022)
3.7 as of this writing?! Geez..its not THAT bad!
Fortunately, I was able to watch this with original Thai Language (it defaulted to English dub on Prime Video and 30 seconds of THAT and I knew I HAD to switch). Sure, the story is pretty generic, with small slices of Jurassic Park (1993), The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) and The Host (2006) and the character development is almost non-existent. But the monster has a cool design and the CGI and practical fx are pretty impressive for what, I'm assuming, is a smaller budgeted giant monster film. The acting is above average and the film is well-photographed, save for some quick cuts in the shrubs early in the movie. Overall, its not as bad as most "The Asylum" creature features you'll catch on SyFy & nowhere near as bad as its current IMDB rating makes it out to be. I enjoyed it, but urge folks to seek out the film in original Thai language, as I imagine the crappy English dub gives it an unintended "campy" tone.
Veneciafrenia (2021)
Not Iglesia's Best, but delivers what it sets out to do!
As a huge fan of Alex De La Iglesia, I've had this film on my radar ever since I saw the "coming soon" trailer for this in a theater in Valencia, Spain back in early 2022...I waited and waited, hoping it would drop on a streamer in the U. S.... Finally the digital showed up on sale and had to snag it..mannnn, its about time!
Though nowhere near as great as some of my fav Iglesia flicks, like Day of the Beast (1995), The Last Circus (2010) or The Bar (2017), this Cult-sploitation/Slasher film delivers on a capable cast, a perfectly recognizable location (gorgeous Venice), eerie old building locations & plenty of blood & gore! The opening credits and final shot is reminiscent of a 60s/70s Giallo film. One of the final kills was especially creative (no spoilers). Sure, you've seen plenty of "annoying young people getting killed one by one" before, and the final FINAL act goes on a little too long, but Iglesia manages to put a hip, stylistic flare that I still enjoyed! No regrets blind buying this one!
Rage (2020)
Cape Town Chainsaw Massacre!
...or at least that's the vibe I get after watching this 2020 slasher. "Rage" is touted as the first horror film released as a Showmax original, and is directed by Jaco Bouwer. Like "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", it follows five teenagers who have landed in a small coastal town, but instead of a concert, it is for a huge rave called "Rage". What starts as a drug and alcohol-filled romp turns into a nightmare-fueled battle for survival as they find themselves hunted by some odd locals, intent on using them for a dark and underlying purpose. The film is directed well, the acting is good, successfully builds upon its dread filled, sometimes psychedelic atmosphere, and isn't afraid of getting gory when the need calls for its (fun times with a drill seems to be the ongoing theme). Good premise, but as any horror fan would attest, doesn't bring anything "new" or "unique" to the genre. Still, at a short hour and 25 minutes, I'd say it's worth checking out.
Cobweb (2023)
Moody, Creepy, Atmospheric and Halloween Time! I Loved it!
The sole season of the Netflix show Marianne way back in 2019 B. C. (Before Covid) genuinely creeped me out & going on IMDB, it bugged me after watching that director Samuel Bodin hasn't done much since...but as the horror Gods would have it, "Cobweb" suddenly popped up on Sam's "Upcoming" projects on IMDB, I was happy! Then released theatrically, seemingly out of nowhere with not much fanfare, much less a trailer or web ad, but I KNEW, I had to see this asap! Director Samuel Bodin knows what he's doing when it comes to conveying creepiness, genuine forboding atmosphere, and just outright SCARES without the use of gore (seldom seen nowadays, only Directors that I can name off the top of my head that pulled this off are Tobe Hooper and James Wan). I don't wanna give away too much of the plot points, but URGE folks to watch this if you're in the "spooky" mood for a creepy, atmospheric Halloween movie! (who doesn't love Halloween?!) If I had to convey some minor complaints, its some weak fx (expected from low budget films) and an "untidy" ending. But horror films should be made to tell a story, entertain & scare and this accomplishes ALL that! Now can someone in Hollywood, or better yet, smaller studios like A24 call up Mr. Samuel Bodin and offer him some much needed work? I need to see much more from this filmmaker ASAP!!
The Haunting Hour: Don't Think About It (2007)
It's actually more of a 7/10, but this one is special!
This little gem from Halloween season 2007 has a special place in me and my family's black little hearts. I'm the "dad" raised on 1980's horror and, in 2007, and now a dad of 2 kids too young (at the time) to see some of my 70s, 80s and 90s horror favorite, was looking for alternative "family horror". Sure, there's Hocus Pocus, Halloweentown and many others, but I wanted something a little more relevant and newer for the time. Once I saw the ads for an "R. L. Stine Halloween" movie premiering on Cartoon Network! We watched it when it aired (early September mind you) and INSTANTLY, my kids wanted to watch it again! It played all throughout the season that year and it became a household favorite repeated many times the way some grew up watching "Lion King" or "Aladdin" over and over again. Now, with my kids in their very early 20s, we revisited this and, despite some things being outdated ("am I being punk'd?") it was still pure, nostalgic fun! Its got some heavy horror hitters for the creature fx (KNB fx), Tobin Bell (Saw) and Chris Hajian's music is especially eerie with a main opening theme that comes off like a creepy music box (reminded me of Dead Silence, also released in 2007). As a "starter horror" for the younger ones, its slightly more intense then the movies I mentioned above, but PERFECT for some brave kids come Halloween time!!
Trinket Box (2023)
Dull effort from 2 novice filmmakers
Starts out semi-decent, Candyman origin lite. Then quickly goes into STINKER territory. Cheesy scares, boring couple drama, dull "walking through the house" scenes that go nowhere and one of the "cleanest" sex scene for an R rated flick ever! This could've been edited down to a thirty minute short film and still accomplished...whatever it set out to do...which I assume is to bore the 💩 out of the audience. There's even an epilogue scene that seems to go on FOREVER. The filmmakers never heard of an editor apparently. My faith in "Tubi Original" films is equaling "The Asylum" and "Gravitas Ventures"...a guaranteed film TURD! Avoid if possible.
Achoura (2018)
Plot looks awful familiar!
A group of kids defeat a demon years ago. They get back together, now as adults, to fight said demon again, in a dilapidated mansion no less. Some are successful adults, 1 is in a "bad place" and is the "keeper of the evil", a childhood romance is rekindled. The entity goes by different names in different regions..now where have I seen and heard all this before???? Sounds awful familiar, doesn't it? Well, if you guessed Stephen King's IT, you would be correct. This is basically a Moroccan/French IT copycat. 2 pros Ill give it: the creature was legit creepy looking and the music score is grand and rivals scores coming out of Hollywood. Still, can't really recommend this, go see the IT films instead!
Tales from the Darkside (1983)
Just binged the entirety of all 90+ episodes over a month...
I purchased the entire series on sale on DVD around Black Friday 2022, I hadn't seen an episode in several years, having recorded some on VHS when I was 9-10 years old alongside episodes of "Amazing Stories" and "Transformers" (I'm saying I'm an 80s child without saying I'm an 80s child..haha). As a kid, you remember things so much more grand, exciting, and scary! Revisiting "Darkside" made me realize how most episodes are hilariously "cheap" looking with poor production value. I even spotted visible boom mics and crew casting shadows in some episodes. But whereas the networks' anthology series frequently spent $1 million per episode or more (Ex. Amazing Stories), each 20+ minute episode of ''Darkside'' is filmed on a puny $125K budget average! Some episodes are throwaways, but I'd say for every 2 bad episodes, there are some phenomenal ones! Some have stuck with me through the years & are still every bit as good as I remember! My Top 10 in no particular order are, "Seasons of Belief", Monsters In My Room", "Inside the Closet", "Halloween Candy", "The Cutty Black Sow", "The Last Car", "The Devil's Advocate", "Sorry, Right Number", "Family Reunion" and of course, the brilliant pilot, "Trick or Treat"! This may not be as remembered as "Twilight Zone", or as high budgeted, yet fantastic as "Amazing Stories", or even as scary or graphic as "Tales from the Crypt", but "Tales From the Darkside" was a great little horror/fantasy show and definitely cements its legacy in classic 1980s Television and in my little horror loving heart!!
Menéndez. Parte 1: El día del Señor (2020)
Falls well short of being a GOOD Demon Possession horror!
For the record, I'm seeing what looks like, tons of fake reviews, some going so far as saying those that didn't like it is due to culture being "lost" for certain audiences, I strongly disagree as I am of Latin descent and speak fluent Spanish, so nothing was lost in translation here. I figure I'd chime in with a quick review of PROS and CONS of this movie. PROS: Its has the dark atmosphere nailed and at times can be genuinely creepy. The actors are great and the acting is good enough to keep you invested in the characters, especially Priest Menendez himself. CONS: A weak story that could've been told in a 30 minute anthology series. The movie takes itself WAY too seriously given the material and, certain...situations...presented later in the film. Some of the dialogue is downright laughable! Also didn't know a good old fashioned beat down was part of the exorcism ritual, but here it is, unnecessarily brutal and long. As far as exorcism films, this isn't the worst (I hate how the term "worst movie ever" gets thrown around
so easily), but there's also plenty better out there. If you need a quick 90 minute possession horror film, I strongly recommend the superior Mexican/Venezuelan production, "The Exorcism of God (2021)".
Deep Fear (2022)
It's OK, but its missing a little something, something!
It had the right atmosphere, dark, chilling foreboding Catacombs of Paris, it had the mysterious baddie (unfortunately, the trailer gives this away), the acting isn't bad, and yet, it misses the mark. The main actors are just carbon cutouts of every other "victim" list in horror we've seen elsewhere. In the short time we DO get to know them, they're not all that likeable. Once it reaches the final climax it seems it rushes to the finish line and then...end credits! Not a TERRIBLE film, but I strongly recommend watching the similarly themed "As Above, So Below" for a better overall Catacombs horror film!
The Haunting of the Tower of London (2022)
A Great title card, ominous music and creepy ghost silhouettes, then goes downhill quickly!
Seems the director didn't know what tone to stick with, because it goes from Creepy Castle Ghost Story to Torture Porn by the final act. Also some mumbo jumbo about a psychic that's trying to decipher a message from 2 murdered princes...its just not well executed enough to keep the viewer invested. Too bad, because with an awesome (real) castle setting & better filmmakers, this could've been a GREAT horror film, instead it is below average! Best to avoid!
Amazing Stories: Go to the Head of the Class (1986)
Arguably my favorite episode of the series!! Had this recorded on VHS
Recorded on SP speed too (the GOOD quality...lol) I must've seen this episode countless times as a kid! For its time it was pure cinematic quality! Robert Zemeckis at the helm with music by Alan Silvestri (this team won BIG 8 years later at the Oscars with Forrest Gump), a great cast, especially a villianous Chris Lloyd! The chase finale is as good as any 80s slasher at the time! Definitely a highlight episode!
Amazing Stories: Welcome to My Nightmare (1986)
What "Amazing Stories" was all about in my youth!
Sure the main geek is annoying, but being bullied, his love for horror and using films as an escape definitely reminded me of.... ME...in the early 80s! A fantastic homage to Psycho as well! Its a scary, but funny episode of this classic series!
The Found Footage Phenomenon (2021)
Pretty good doc! Not too long, not too short!
I have a weak spot for Halloween themed (holiday) films as well as Found Footage films and this was a documentary that was right up my alley. It discusses everything from the genre's origins with films like Mondo Cane (1962) and Cannibal Holocaust (1980) to foreign Found Footage films like Noroi: The Curse (2005) and Trollhunter (2010) to the Found Footage "craze" a little movie called Blair Witch Project (1999) created and everything else in-between. Even helped me add a few films to my "watchlist" I haven't seen yet (Afflicted and Apt 143). At a little over an hour and a half, it has a good pace and is never boring! I highly recommend it!
Night's End (2022)
Very slow paced, but I've seen worse!
Watched on Shudder on a dark, rainy morning & can't thank Shudder enough for the 15 second fwd button. Lol. As others have mentioned, the pacing is slowwww, there are some scenes that just drag on too long with nothing going on. Most of it takes place on a zoom-type call (guessing this was filmed during the pandemic) and yes, Michael Shannon is in it, though not very much. Probably helps he's married in real life to the woman playing Kate. Its easy to criticize "the bad", I'll focus on some of the good here: The atmosphere in the dark apartment is downright creepy, I've lived in NYC & something about living alone, hearing loud noises and hard knocks on your door is pretty scary. The acting is also good. What DOES get a 9/10 vote is CoastalDive's creepy synth music, straight out of the 80s, LOVE IT! That said, I probably did this movie in an hour (thanks to previously mentioned 15 second fwd button) and it would've worked better
with a sharper screenplay and better pacing. Director Jennifer Reeder is known for short horror films, so I'll chalk it up to inexperience
making full length films.
Ukraine on Fire (2016)
Too much name dropping & some items left out for "convenience"
My Ex-wife recommended I watch this to learn a little more background on why things are happening between Russia & Ukraine currently & have to say...this doc is not that well done. Too much information and too small a time and some key items left out...biggest example, YES, the monster Stepan Bandera WAS granted a "Hero of Ukraine" award...what's never mentioned in this doc is in 2011 that award was ANNULLED and Former President Yushchenko called the annulment "a gross error". Hmmm. Overall this doc is very one-sided & name drops way too much, often never to mentioned again. Its borderline Propaganda! Avoid!
Mariah's Christmas: The Magic Continues (2021)
2 songs and an interview!
Subject says it all! You get a great opener with Khalid & Kirk Franklin, then about 10 minutes of interview about her special LAST year, then closes with "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)". Great production value and very pretty to look at, but too short and the interview killed the flow!
So This Is Christmas (2013)
NOT a Christmas Movie! Makes Die Hard look like A Christmas Carol!
...its not Christmas til the end of the film for all of a minute or so...til then, you need to sit through very poorly-acted family drama involving drugs and violence that makes this a very NON-Family oriented film! At 2 hours, its TOO long, drawn out & BORING! I also think it attempts to go the "Christian film" route at the end. As a Christmas, Christian OR any kind of "entertaining" film, it fails in every category. Vivica Fox deserves better then this dreck! Avoid Avoid Avoid!
Halloween Party (2019)
Boring! Way too talky to even be remotely interesting!
I watched this as part of my 31 Days of Halloween 2021 with MUCH regret! Tons of fake 7-9 reviews, assuming from the cast and crew creating IMDB accounts! More then an hour in and there were literally 2 cheaply CGI'd "jump" scares that are cut so quickly, if you blink, you'll miss them (obviously cut quickly so as to not show how cheap and laughable they look). For a "Halloween" movie there is barely any "Halloween" theming of any kind in this Production, outside of the amateur looking email-virus going around (incorrectly called a "meme"...how old was the filmmaker?! Do they even know what a meme is?) The aforementioned Halloween Party in the title...WHOA...is NOT a party at all! This very long, boring and drawn out movie could've been cut down by an hour and served as part of some cheap horror TV anthology! Budget was NO excuse for poor pacing & storytelling! Or should I mention the minutes long scene with "scary" pipe noises while one of the college guys takes a dump?! No, its not done tongue-in-cheek or for laughs, no matter how you try to sell it! Also a
"climax" ripped off of REC/Quarantine. If there is one saving grace, the acting is pretty decent, but good acting alone doesn't save a borefest of a "Halloween horror" movie! I watched this back-to-back with "Black Pumpkin (2018)" & this made THAT movie look like John Carpenter's classic "Halloween" in comparison. If you're looking for a good Halloween film, look elsewhere and avoid this POS!
Bad Candy (2020)
Started off strong, but turned "average" quickly
The first few stories started off with a bang! LOVED the visuals and production design. They captured the overall Halloween "feel" 100%, the Jack 'O Lanterns, the fog, the decorated houses! Great job design team! Problem is it quickly went south less then halfway through. The necrophilia story, a gorgeous, sexy, tatted woman that nobody likes....riiiiight. The writing just got a little lazy with this and the next story (the home invasion by the Trump supporters..lol). Also the wrap-around starring Zach Galligan & Corey Taylor didn't quite connect well with the stories. Overall, this COULD'VE been a good compliment to the likes of Michael Dougherty's "Trick 'R Treat" as an every
Halloween watch, but the lazily written stories make it a mixed Halloween bag of good and bad treats.
El Chata (2018)
Great first feature from a 1st time director!
Gustavo Ramos Perales did a great job for his first feature film. I'm of Puerto Rican descent and lived there for 3 years, so this is kinda like our "urban/street" movie...though the film is not without its flaws. Some of the characters (such as the wife & the boxing gym owner) could've been fleshed out a little more and the runtime was too short, but outside of that a moving film. Hope to see more from this filmmaker! Boricuaaaaaa!!!!
La Casa (2019)
Amateur Hour!
The movie is an amateur effort at best. The first 20+ minutes getting to the house is minutes on end of the cop driving to the house..a nice "back of his head" shot, with nothing else going on but Spooky music. The use of basic strobe and flood lights is also very obvious! Done on the cheap! I don't mind a low budget effort, but MAKE an effort rather then pad the runtime. On a positive note, the ghosts ARE creepy when they start showing up..but it's too little, too late and can't save this borefest. Avoid it!
Free Guy (2021)
Lego Movie did this first...and better!
It seems audiences forget very easily in a short time frame OR simply dismissed Lego Movie as a "kids movie" 7 years ago, but it pretty much takes all the same beats as that movie, but with more of a "gamer" twist. Don't get me wrong, its entertaining enough, never boring, but really is not as "amazing" nor "unique" as so many of these 9s & 10s are touting. Plus Ryan Reynolds playing...well...Ryan Reynolds doing his "Ryan Reynoldsy" act is starting to wear a little thin for this movie goer. You're better off watching Lego Movie! Has more heart!