Reviews
Zone of the Dead (2009)
Oh dear...
Firstly the good news. Ken Foree is an absolute legend and it's great to see him returning to the zombie horror genre.
And now for the bad news, which is absolutely everything else. Having read some good reviews on this film, I decided to give it a go as I'm a big fan of zombie flicks even bad ones. It isn't often that I can't watch a film to the end (The Country Bears being the last one - I even made it through the Squeakquel) but at the half way mark I felt like eating my own head. Around two thirds of the way through I couldn't take any more and fast forwarded through the rest, stopping every so often to see if it improved. It didn't.
Allow me to list off some of the things that made this the worst movie I have ever seen.
1. The dubbing. At least I hope it was all dubbed. If these idiots really speak like this, they should all be shot.
2. The acting. OMG! Where did they get these muppets from? Everything was wrong and I do realise that zombie movies rarely get Oscar nominations. The body language was completely wooden - not one person (including Ken) managed to look like they really were in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. They looked like they were taking part in a primary school play and a bad one at that.
3. The plot. Seems like the same terrible primary school did the screen writing as well. If you were responsible for the script then you should be ashamed. Never, ever write anything again. I mean it. Put the pen down. Bite your fingers off. You'll be doing us all a favour.
If I can prevent one person from ever having to go through watching this drivel, then I can rest easy knowing my sacrifice wasn't in vain.
You've been warned...
The Eye (2008)
Mediocre Horror
OK, so it isn't the best horror movie ever made, but it also isn't the worst.
The premise is reasonable (for a horror) and despite a few plot holes the film manages to build the suspense. Alba's acting is not exactly award winning, but she does enough to avoid you disbelieving the character.
The biggest gripe I have is that the ending is a bit of an anticlimax. After the build up (I think there should have been a bit more with the apartment residents) it just fizzled out.
Overall I wouldn't rush out to buy the DVD, but if there isn't anything else on, you could do worse.
The Cat in the Hat (2003)
Could have been much worse
I must say that I was pleasantly surprised. It probably helped that I expected this to be utterly awful and was tempted to leave the car running to make a quick getaway from the theatre. Granted, it is not a classic, but the kids (a 5 year old, a 4 year old and a 33 year old) enjoyed it immensely.
Myers plays the role a tad too close to his Austin Powers/Dr Evil characters, but I'll forgive him since he is a brilliant comic actor. The rest of the cast are good, if not exceptional, aside from Alec Baldwin who is excellent in his part as the annoying prospective husband.
All in all, not the disaster it could have been. I can see why US voters who were brought up to revere Dr Seuss, may have a real issue with Myers' portrayal, but if you take the films as a piece of light entertainment for kids I don't think you will be too disappointed.
6/10