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Reviews
Devil's Triangle (2021)
A Study in Bad Acting
Atlantis. Sharks. A Mean Ass Hydra with three heads. What could possibly go wrong with this movie?
Turns out, just about everything.
There are so, so many failures of filmmaking craft in this hot mess (starting of course with the writing and directing), but I have to give top (bottom?) honors to the young and inexperienced actors in this film who own the poorly written dialogue like a self-taught troupe of 6th grade thespians.
FYI, I 100% supported our members of SAG during their recent strike (and I still do), though the actors' performances in this film do give me a much better understanding of why Hollywood studios would want AI to replace them in the first place.
Journey to the Center of the Earth (1988)
Why? Why? Why?
Did someone actually attempt to make a movie worse than The Room? (They didn't succeed, but this came damn close.)
Thanks to some interesting set designs and costumes (well, some of them anyway), this could've actually been worse. Cinematography is okay too.
But...
The acting, writing, directing, editing, music, continuity...! Oh my!
I just had to see this after reading other reviews, but sadly this film's incompetent production is not as humorous as I'd hoped, so it still gets a "1" from me. Note to wannabe B-movie filmmakers - if you're making a terrible movie, make it so very bad we can laugh at it!
Clash of the Titans (2010)
Perseus had a good barber!
Worthington's Perseus boasts a very close haircut throughout the entire film that must have cost him much magic. Either that, or the film's wardrobe/makeup department failed miserably in allowing the actor to grossly stand out admist his scraggly, long-haired co-stars.
My review is supposedly too short, so here it is again -
Worthington's Perseus boasts a very close haircut throughout the entire film that must have cost him much magic. Either that, or the wardrobe/makeup department failed miserably in allowing the actor to grossly stand out amidst his scraggly, long-haired co-stars.
I know it's a little thing, but if you're going to do a period piece, by the Gods, get it right!!
Bright (2017)
Corny and Too Long!
Intriguing premise, but the execution is pretty bad and unoriginal. I laughed when seeing the orc crime boss wearing a shirt with his name on it! The fight and chase scenes just seem to go on forever - did they fire the editor to save money for the special FX?
Johnny Mnemonic (1995)
Can't Decide What's The Worst!
Okay, to be fair, I just watched this in 2022, almost 30 years after this film was made, and a year after its dystopian future world of 2021 has passed. I think I've avoided this film for so long due to its negative reviews, but I like Keanu Reeves. Still, those negative were not unfounded.
The screenplay by internet icon Gibson is terrible, forcing Reeves, Meyer, and other actors to come off as stilted and unnatural; unfortunately, this deficit is not overcome by either the actors nor the weak direction. The special effects are truly special, and not in a good way. I'm still debating with myself whether the screenwriter's character of a dolphin, or the director's depiction of a dolphin was worse.
Dune World (2021)
Comedic Genius!
I've never before seen a movie rated so poorly on IMDB, so I simply HAD to watch this. This is truly a deliberate and sublime attempt to make the worst movie ever. To that end, the filmmakers earned a 10 - but I won't spoil their race to the bottom by giving this film that score. I particularly enjoyed the hand puppet alien, the "robot" with a beer belly who wears a MMA mask, and the spaceship's engine comprised of a Marantz stereo rack. Oh, and lest anyone think that this silly film was not deliberately designed to be terrible, check out the mismatched patches on the crew's jackets that read ""Air Force", "Space Shuttle", and "Super Hero" among others. Brilliantly bad! Tommy Wiseau, watch out!