Reviews
Ocean's Twelve (2004)
Got it all...
A film brimming with all-star acting talent from both the US and Europe seems to have missed the mark with many viewers. However, this movie, while offering something very different than "Oceans 11," is arguably as good as (and in my opinion -better-) than the first.
Introducing Frenchman Vincent Cassel as François Toulour, aka the Night Fox, the Oceans series take on some serious international flair as the Ocean's team battle it out for the Faberge Egg on Toulour's home turf. Cassel plays up Frech snobbery to a fine art as he seems to crush Ocean's efforts at every turn with attitude and astonishing acrobatics.
Meanwhile, the entire Ocean's Eleven are back, with an important role for the 12th Ocean, Tess (Julia Roberts), this time.
What makes this film succeed is excellent plot twists that hinge on the whirl-wind tour of European locations that host the film. The actors seems to be having genuine fun throughout, and while they might be criticized for playing it light, this keeps the film light and humorous and viewers ready for laughter in every scene.
Drive In Massacre (1976)
I've seen worse...
OK, just finished watching the awful transfer of this film on a $1 DVD. I prepared myself to be shatteringly disappointed by reading the reviews here before I started. And... drum roll please... I didn't think it was nearly as bad as everyone says.
That being said, let's get the really awful aspects out into the open; the music really is pretty uninspired. Think Radio Shack electronic workshop - imagine a 9 year old plugging and unplugging wires and pushing buttons on a flimsy bit of PC board. Got it? OK, bring it down a notch. There are also some awkward transitions in the plot. Consider a story you might tell a child, the kind you make up as you go along. When the child asks why the plot of your story contradicts itself, you just wave off their questions with a shake of your hand and say, "Keep listening!" This movie does that... kind of a lot. And, alas, sometimes the murdered dead look like dummies - and that never happens in any film and it should absolutely not be forgiven under any circumstances... ;) But what about the good? How about some really excellent acting on the part of Douglas Gudbye as "Germy" and his counterpart, Newton Naushaus, "Mr Johnson." Gudbye's skill on the screen made me pause the movie to check his filmography, hoping he had matured into a great success. Saddly, his role here was his first and last. Gudbye puts Dustin Hoffman to shame in acting out the role of a mentally handicapped. Naushaus, also appearing here in his only film role, was the embodiment of the anal-retentive schmuck we all endured at our first summer job. Also good? The sets - always authentic but never in the way.
Bearing in mind that the film was intended for drive-in audiences, the plot, the ending, and the characters all make perfect sense and contribute to what would have been, if seen in the proper environment, a genuinely unnerving film.
I'm sorry for those who really think this is the worst film ever. I'm always on a quest for the Holy Grail of Hokiness, the Ark of Awful... but it won't be found here.
Az prijde kocour (1963)
Dollar-Store Diamond
I'm impressed that 66 other IMDb users have seen this movie and felt strongly enough about it to vote here. I found this disk in the bottom of a jumbled bin of $1 disks in a mangled cardboard sleeve, with at least seven different price labels stuck and re-stuck, the highest only $5.99. In my opinion, these are the best films - the ones that are missed by the masses and leave you, the viewer, with a unique experience.
This film is unique; in my experience, entirely unique. Several elements were entirely new to me, including an English-dubbed soundtrack that was not only bearable but hilarious. The story was also lighthearted and well paced without pandering to the 'kids in the audience.' While I agree that children probably will enjoy this film, I'm not sure I think it was entirely aimed at children. I think it was aimed more at adults who are struggling to identify their 'inner child' in the midst of the (perceived) weightiness of their lives.
Nearly every character in this film had a perception of themselves undone by the Cat. As a viewer, we identify with the love and lies that color all these characters as readily as we identify with the lovers and liars in our own lives - including ourselves. The driving force of this film is the idea that love and honesty are values in life that make life fun and keep us young.
Comments on the quality of the DVD disc, the digital transfer or other marginal inaccuracies only reveal that a viewer is "blue" - here's hoping this film left you "yellow."
The Amityville Horror (2005)
The Un-happy marriage
It really is an unhappy marriage of an old story with the worst of modern Hollywood slop.
Purists should know the 2005 AH departs from both the book and the original film significantly. These changes introduce clichéd and over-used climactic elements to achieve a cheap thrill without creativity or originality. While the original film thrilled viewers with an authentic-feeling, voyeuristic observation of one haunted family, the new version simply shocks with blood and gore, sudden shunts of otherwise unexplained noise and light, and a "New for '05!" sub-plot stolen (without the slightest deviation) from Jeepers Creepers. Copious elements of Kubric's version of "The Shining" were added to complement an otherwise aimless and brain-dead retelling of the original Amityville story.
Throughout the film, I wondered if this was not, primarily, a retelling of one of my favorite horror flicks, but instead a diatribe on the horrors of a bad marriage. Symbolic elements, probably left subconsciously by a miserable production staff, hint at a psychotic hatred for marriage and family. This -was- scary, but not worth analyzing here.
I really expect that anyone who has seen and enjoyed the original AH will be deeply disappointed, while the curious teenager might get a good jump and a squeeze from their date. Enjoy it if you can.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Unreal Football Tailgate Party
One of the finest examples of how horrible this film <Matrix Reloaded-induced vaguery mode: ON> comes after some people in a space ship came through a tunnel and killed a bunch of bad things with a bolt of lighting. Then all the people were happy and threw their arms up, Whoopee! because they didn't die.
Honestly, after my life has been saved, I expect to show somewhat more enthusiasm than is usually summoned by a base-hit at a mid-season Expos game. But the 'people,' (I have no clue who anyone is or where they are or what they are trying to accomplish in this film) do little more to celebrate the salvation of their race than a weak-hearted 'Ole!'
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)
Painfully funny
Concerning the DVD Version of Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
This film is gut-wrenchingly hilarious. Steve Odekerk has redefined absurdity in this work of comic genius, destined to become a classic.
Ok, that's my New York Times-esque one line review.
More to the point, I'm just startled that this movie was so poorly received by IMDB users. Obviously, it's not for everyone, but what on earth would impulse someone unprepared for stupid humor to watch this film? And those who have an appetite for such film, did you fail to laugh, if nothing else, at the Neosporin?
While the film isn't deeply intellectual, I wonder if it was so poorly received becasue most people simply didn't "get it." The basic concept of the film is totally original and acheives its goal with the minimum amount of production, leaving the comedy of the film to reign supreme.
I entirely missed the film in the cinema and didn't know it existed until a friend pointed it out to me in the bargain rack at Super-Mart. It's widely available now, and the DVD provides almost endless amusement as the film can be watched in one of six different audio tracks (even non-Francophones should appreciate certain select jokes from the French track). Especially amusing is the "What Are They Really Saying" audio track. Additionally, there is a healty supplement of out takes, alternate versions and other silliness captureed on film.
But as I finish my remarks, I am still troubled that viewers of this film have generally disliked it so. I'd be thrilled to know more about what it lacked, in the opinion of others.