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Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)
Winnie the pooh to dark for you
The start of the movie is easily the highlight, they could of made a 10-15min short film and absolutely blown it out of the park, but they went a different, more muddled, poorly written and edited path..
Other highlights include discount English Lindsay Lohan getting the always great and realistic mid-fight disrobing and fed into a woodchipper, and the girl with the Cumbrellas run in with Pooh's car...
The one thing all the characters had in common was the lack of will to survive... literally none of them put up any fight and basically just laid down and died...
Other than that it was filmed way to dark to be able to see half of what was going on, no real story or cohesion, but some pretty good kills sprinkled throughout the movie.
Costumes were quite cool, Pooh's was better than Piglet's but still both looked good.
Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)
Crowdaddy vs CGI
More like a Asylum Films rip off than a Jeepers Creepers franchise installment.
The very few redeeming features were the couple of throwbacks to the original... but other than that.. man oh man what a horrendous dumpster fire this was.
For the love of all things remotely good do not bother wasting your precious time on this crap.
The scenery was all CGI.. and I mean all CGI! What's wrong with filming in a busted old house?!? Get some actual character into the movie not greenscreen the whole thing..
Acting was atrocious on the most part..
Story was barely present at all.. like the thought the Halloween fun fair was a cool setting and just strung a few random ideas together to get to a ending.. more plot holes and conveniences than a Convenient Plot Hole Convention.
Another good franchise ruined. Hate it.
Gone in the Night (2022)
all hail the blood cow
Enjoyable lunch break watch.
Interesting little flick with some good acting and good dialogue, was even able to hear what they where saying which is a great change from most of the horrors nowadays.. even though this is more a drama/thriller than horror.
Worth a watch if you cant decide on anything else.
Allegoria (2022)
where's grandmas hearing aids..
Had to turn on subtitles.. the talking was whisper quiet compared to the blaring, speaker destroying soundtrack.
Some of the stories worked well... others were a bit long winded with no real payoff, nicely linked through out though.
Kinda spooky, mostly boring.
V/H/S (2012)
hit and miss
Some really good short stories and some not so good.
Great bit of Nork in these so that's a plus..
not a real fan of the found footage genre but I do like these movies.
The Northman (2022)
Live action Vinland Saga
Like the title says movie is just a live action Vinland Saga, without the character development...
Weird cutaways for seemingly no reason... trying to be a epic but never really getting there at all.. even the final boss battle was lackluster, hard to see and overly self indulgent.
Nowhere near the movie I had hoped it to be, but watchable if you have a spare 7 hours.
Men (2022)
what a laborious ending...
Visually stunning, yet absolutely confusing.
I had no idea what this movie was trying to portray but it was still a good watch... until the weird as ending.
Don't Breathe 2 (2021)
She left the dog behind!! hopefully its the dog hunting her in the 3rd movie.
Not sure why we were supposed to root for this guy.. only redeeming feature he has is his love for dogs.. still a kidnapping, murdering, rapist.. its like making a movie on that fritzell guy and trying to make him the hero. It just doesn't work. Feel sorry for the little girl, but then she left the dog behind so she should of died too.
This movie is one of those times they didn't need to make a sequel just because the original was great and made money.
Deathgasm (2015)
8 Foot Sativa on the soundtrack!
Was pretty funny, had some nice norks, a spattering of DnD, waterPISStols, and metal..
Practical effects were good, some great dildo related kills..
defs worth a watch.
Pahanhautoja (2022)
Meth Addict Big Bird Gets Clean
One of the best practically done monsters we have had the pleasure to watch in a long, long, long time.
Beautifully scenery, outstanding performances from all involved, apart from Tero, his shoddy chandelier hanging skills cost the family a glass table... but we all know why he was hired anyway...
Am a little upset Matias got out of it unscathed, that smarmy little son of cuck was the only one who deserved his eyes pecked out.
Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)
Glorious Gore Galore
Well the body horror was on point!
So many gross moments of gore and pus and squelchy noises and blood and oozing wounds and a punchbowl of urine...
not really sure what else you could want in a Cabin Fever movie...
Well maybe less boils and pustules on the very few Norks we get to see.
Funny, and gross.. Good fun for the whole family.
Umma (2022)
Bring your Nightvision Goggles...
Holy Korean batman this movie was darker than my sense of humor!
Like the entire thing was shot through a piece of black black cardboard.
The few times it had some light was very good looking, but those 3minutes where lost in a sea of darkness where you could hear something happening but not see it.
Predictable and chock full of clichés and tropes, but the cast was good for the most part, from what I heard anyway...
Spontaneous (2020)
balloon people
Good way to spend a hour n a half, funny, bloody and the lead actress is undeniably attractive.
Wasnt as teen drama as I expected.. which was a pleasant surpise.
Suicide for Beginners (2022)
Monkey Cake
Rick the pizza guy is the best part of this movie, bloody funny. The rest of the cast were good but he was the standout.
Just a good casual movie with a lot of laughs that doesn't take itself to seriously.
Highly recommend.
Ku bei (2021)
Got her eye juice drying on my...
Beautifully, brutally horrific.
Masterfully crafted tapestry of violent gore and the worst humans can offer, the special effects in this where the absolute stand out!
So Many Golden Chainsaws!!
Was tough to watch yet tough to turn away from.
Was really hoping that this was somehow related to the Happiness show on Netflix as it is quite similar.. (still hoping)
The House of the Devil (2009)
longest phone cord in history
2nd film we have watched by Ti West after seeing the excellent X movie, can tell that 80's Horror has a special place in his heart as these too movies encapsulate them perfectly. Will be definitely keeping and eye out for his future work and digging up his other work.
Lots of suspense and intrigue, blood, crappy American pizza and hooded cloaks.
Great stuff.
X (2022)
Nips out for the Geriatrics
It has everything you could want in a slasher!
Norks, Gore, Gators, Old People, Norks, Cools Death Scenes...
A Nostalgic throwback to when we weren't afraid to show some nips and swinging dongs in our horror.
A good time for the whole family.
V/H/S/94 (2021)
nostalgic gore
Really fun gory watch.
The 4 mini stories are great, the thread of a story that tried to hold them together has a bit lame, but the individual stories more than made up for it.
Really wanted to see old mate put his hand in the vege-masher though...
would recommend!
The Night House (2020)
shapes are people too
Not sure why this doesn't have a higher rating...
Really good story with some very clever camera work, great casting and atmosphere.
Would definitely recommend this to anyone who enjoyed movies like Hereditary..
little bit drawn out but probably one of the best movies I have seen since Crabs!
Werewolves Within (2021)
Beaverfield has no fields or Beavers...
Good fun.
The characters were great, dialogue was entertaining, the werewolf cgi was a little lackluster but otherwise a very good way to waste a slow afternoon at work.
Student Body (2022)
bland, boring, custard excuse for a movie
Soccer is the most boring sport in the world... and yet the most action packed part of this movie is a small clip of one of the teens team losing a game of soccer.
Just another mediocre, gore less, teen "horror" filled with dumb, unlikable characters making dumb decisions to make the dumb plot get to its dumb predictable conclusion.
The mascots mask was ok as far as slasher masks go..
just "meh". But dumb as well... dumbmeh.. dont know this movie lowered my IQ.
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)
Finally Faithful
I really enjoyed it.
For the first ResEvil movie (and I have watched quite a few) that actually follows the game, I was really impressed.
I liked the cgi touches that where almost taken straight out of the games cut scenes.
Cant wait for the 2nd installment.
Tethered (2022)
The Rope Will Guide You
Its a slow burn that is for sure.
There was a lot that could of been answered or explained to give the movie a bit more coherence but was still very watchable. The main actor did a great job with the little he had.
I feel the pay off at the end did not match up to the length of the film, there was a lot of build up and suspense for a very predictable finale.
I think if you lke this film go and watch the 2020 film Hunter Hunter.
Very similar in pace and setting but with a better ending.
Crabs! (2021)
The Legend of RADU!!
WOW!! As far as Gremlins rip-offs go, this is up there with the best!
Radu is not the character 2022 wanted but the character that 2022 needed!
What a absolute gem of a man, he can sing, swing swords and buy women with wrenches while making us laugh, cry and feel things we never thought we would feel ever again.
HIs ninja skills, drill using abilities and encouragement single handedly won the war! Like a god sent from the heavens he carried this film on his back like some kind of shell.
Oh and there was some crabs in it somewhere...
Till Death (2021)
Fanplastic Mrs Fox stars in Plastic doesn't Freeze
Whoever directed this movie has little to know idea of how temperatures work.
Former attractive actress, turned playdough model Megan Fox tries her best to act in this film without the use of facial expressions.
As with most big movies this year, we step away from story telling to instead push the female superiority agenda.
After draggin a body around in freezing conditions, nearly naked for a day, The Plastic wrapped Megan showed absolutely no signs of exhaustion or hypothermia and was able to overpower her attackers, and then survive a prolonged swim under ice...
Absolute garbage ending, which completely ruined the few half decent moments they managed to scrape together. If FanPlastic Mrs Fox had of died at the end atleast we could of have reality in this travesty disguised as a movie.
This movie ruined my Christmas holiday.
Save your time and watch Jennifer's Body instead.