Reviews
Breakin' (1984)
as a kid in the theater, 10. 20-some years later, 2 (+1 for nostalgia)
Man, oh man. I remember seeing this movie when I was about six with my mom and thinking "Turbo is the coolest thing EVER." Of course, my friends and I were break dancing outside (with or without cardboard) for the next several months. Spiked bracelets and adidas ruled the day. My wife and I rented the movie a year ago and it completely stunk. Where the hell do Ozone and Turbo live, in a garage? They're two grown men; to whose home is their garage attached? Why does Turbo dislike Special K? Is it because she becomes lovey-dovey with Ozone? Is the reason for the hatred at all related to the flamingly gay dude with the pink leotard that shows up EVERYWHERE Ozone and Turbo go? It's great to watch this movie to recall the good ol' days and maybe to see some pretty good breakin, but as a film it truly sucks b*lls.
Nora's Hair Salon (2004)
AMAZINGLY bad
This movie is so terrible that I had to purchase it. Are you serious?! Is Bobby Brown REALLY involved? Is Lil' Kim really on the title screen of the DVD as if her 45 seconds could save the film (certainly not without the purple pasties)? The Korean lady was so stereotypical, the only line she missed was "Me suckie-suckie." The gay dudes were ASTONISHINGLY flaming, the plot was super-ridiculous... did I mention that Bobby Brown is involved? This is absolutely one of the worst movies of all time. I cannot imagine watching this film and saying to myself, "This is almost tolerable." To be truthful, the best part of the DVD is the "The Making of" segment, where the Jean-Claude Whatever explains how this film is TRULY great. According to this dude, Jenifer Lewis is a better actress than Angela Bassett. I DEFY you to rent this movie and find out who he says is a better actor than DeNiro, Pacino, and Denzel.
School Daze (1988)
It's not a good movie because you didn't go to a Black school?
So what if you went to Harvard and not Hampton, this film is still well-shot, well-acted and damn funny. If you can't understand the light vs. dark, town vs. gown, Greeks vs. GDI conflicts, maybe you don't... under... stand... English... well. I never saw the movie in its entirety until I was about 20 (and pledging at an HBCU, but that's another story) but it just got better as I got older. This movie is like many of Spike's: it's for a group of people (Black ones) that rarely get to tell their own stories. If other people get it, super. On a sidenote, what's so "universal" about Dirty Dancing? I've never had to drop out of a contest because of my botched abortion that Lenny from Law & Order had to come help me out with. I've also never been a small, Jewish man in New York City, but people seem to find Woody Allen's movies "universal" enough. Why don't these issues come up with movies made by whi... (ahem) other filmmakers?
Boomerang (1992)
Just a Classic
I can't say that I've seen this movie less than 50 times since I saw it in the theater. This is CLEARLY one of the funniest movies of all time. We'll never see a comedic ensemble of this caliber again. It's Eddie (albeit before he became unfunny), pre-coke Martin, pre-toothjob Chris Rock, Eartha Kitt(!), the dude that played Punjab in "Annie..." Forget that some of these people are now some of the biggest stars in Hollywood, this film is HILARIOUS. Eddie even shows a little acting range with the romantic scenes. From the establishment of Murphy's character as a player to the classic conversation at the Thanksgiving table, this picture delivers from beginning to end. The jokes were funny when I was a kid and they're still funny now that I'm grown. By the way, Tisha Campbell manages to be the funniest character in the film, which boggles the mind. And the soundtrack was great... and Grace Jones was funny as sh*t... and why don't the Hudlin Brothers make more movies?