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Halloween (1978)
An overrated masterpiece with way too many sequels
This is a slasher flick that runs completely on testosterone. It's overhyped, by far. It's marginally enjoyable, objectively. I've seen a lot of slashers, and this one was better than average, but it just wasn't that crazy. Jamie Lee Curtis is passable, and Donald Pleasance is pretty interesting but not mesmerizing. I've seen so many better (aesthetically) slasher films than this. The jump scares are quite lacking, and the cinematography holds onto par. However, it is doable. John Carpenter has had visions for horror movies: Prince of Darkness, The Thing, In the Mouth of Madness. But this one was just like a cash grab. His direction was hardly needed, and the movie could have held together with its script by many of the other slasher no-name directors. The sequels to this really were unnecessary too. Overall, I like it, but people make it out to be an absolute classic, and it's not. Black Christmas was simply better at the genre and predates it. However, there are good points to the movie that stand out as intriguingly complex, such as the soundtrack choices.
The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)
Pretentious without substance
This movie tries hard to be high-brow but ends up pretentious. It's definitely not scary. Anya Taylor-Joy is mildly talented, and I've liked her in a couple of movies, but other movies have sucked. The dialog in this one is a petty stab at sounding eloquent but is mostly washed up with religious references. I recently watched the entire Deadwood series and thought the idea of having a period piece have good dialog was promising but was wrong with this one. Thy hath smited too much. The first scenes of the witch killing the baby also seemed promising with gore and effects, but it was a letdown when the entire movie revolved around the family arguing. All of the smaller children were pretty annoying, and so was the mother. The film claims to be derived from folklores, but none of it is based in reality, which is another misleading part about it. All-in-all I can't call it absolutely horrible, but it was pretty dumb.
Biosphere (2022)
Team-up of Duplass and Sterling K. Brown ignites conversations
This movie was pretty well done and definitely did a good job of taking a subject matter that would be seen as sensitive to many people and making it tangible yet watchable (barely). The realism of the end-of-the-world scenario is done pretty well, and the two leads are very enjoyable. Both Mark Duplass and Sterling K. Brown shine, individually, and can lean on each other's performances well. The foreshadowing is done intriguingly in some parts yet leaves the viewer off with many questions in other parts. While the wrap-up is conclusive, the journey to get to it is definitely a bumpy ride. The movie is brave for tackling the subject matter of men becoming unwilling transgenders and deserves some credit. However, by leaving the ending completely open for interpretation, it sort of deliberately misses its mark. Mark Duplass has masterminded many projects in his career, and this is a good example of how interesting his projects can be. Sterling K. Brown, on the other hand, has filled roles with inspiring acting which balances fun levity, serious gravity, and sharp brevity that makes his characters always eye-catching. Overall, this was a good movie, but clearly not for everyone to enjoy the same way.
The People's Joker (2022)
Self-indulgent to extremes, not funny, barely memorable
I was intrigued by the inclusion of Bob Odenkirk, Tim Heidecker, and Scott Aukerman in this movie, but was let down so bad. Vera Drew did work on On Cinema at the Cinema and Comedy Bang Bang, so I thought this would be interesting. I feel misled by a lot of the promotions for this movie. What put me off was the lack of sets, the cheesy acting, and the non-funny storyline. It's mostly a monologue about the hardships of being trans. I understand the lifestyle of a transgender person is hard, but this was severely wrongly marketed as a film that would appeal to audiences who wanted to see comedy and comic book action. It had neither. The comedians were horrible, to put it lightly, and the unsatisfactory comic book action was mostly done with bad animation and/or action figure stop motion. It was nauseatingly bad. I don't even think it qualifies as comic book knowledge with the references; it was more like pop culture knowledge. While I don't think comic books are that cool to begin with (I like the ones from the 40s and 50s the most), this movie made them seem lamer. Bob Odenkirk, Tim Heidecker, and Scott Aukerman are voice-only in tiny, miniscule parts. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone except trans people who might love comic book movies. The editing was alright, and the energy of some of the lead actors was alright, but everything else was terrible.
The Hitcher (1986)
Barely okay for about 90% of the runtime
This is a cut and clear case of one of those movies that starts out as a horror and devolves into action. It's marginally entertaining as it begins, and gains traction with the appearance of Jennifer Jason Leigh, before it falls apart because of Rutger Hauer. Hauer is basically a b-level actor, and he isn't bringing the Robert Englund level of authenticity that this movie needs. C Thomas Howell is kind of interesting and doesn't fall apart until the script does, much later than you'd think. Then, Leigh is used for some plot devices but is generally underappreciated. Some of the action is tense, but other parts are bogus. The way the movie ends is basically stupid. I wouldn't call it a horrible movie, at all, and it held my attention, but it could have been so much better in so many ways.
The Dead (2010)
Great African Zombie flick worth not skipping, check it out
Yes, parts of this were strangely treated with the easiest escapes from reality. The slow-moving zombies continued to pour forth from country sides devoid of life, the American engineer/soldier had no motive to be in the country for any reason, the country itself was unnamed and nonexistent... But the majority of this movie worked so well that it overcame the obstacles. It was a tad bit too long, but only by a smidge. The subplot becoming full plot technique was semi-interesting. The main actors were both barely par and barely par by fact of English as a second language. But yet, it was a truly engaging movie. The jump scares were earned and provoked through thoughtfulness on the circumstances, the blood and gore were super realistic and grisly, and the entire premise was definitely intriguing (third world stricken by zombies). The sequel to this was definitely sub-par and not as good, even though it tackled an entirely different culture and region of the world. But I recommend this movie to fans of Romero, for sure. It really gives a slice of the zombie apocalypse not often explored by its subgenre.
D-War (2007)
Not a really great movie, but way better than people say it is
People who rate this movie poorly are hard-headed dumb dumbs. I'm not a particularly big fan of action movies, and even I knew the stakes for this story were super high and the effort was vast by Korea. I was pretty dumbfoundedly captivated by the romantic aspects, astounded by the special effects, and intrigued by the entire story. In a time when all Marvel movies feature such overacting and stupid, repetitive plots, this movie stands out by far. While even Robert Downey Jr. (supporting actor by the Oscars) is an idiot onscreen as Iron Man, Chris Hemsworth ruins the Thor franchise, Robert Pattinson reenacts a brooding tween as Batman, and Heath Ledger oozes overachieving try-hard into every shot, everyone wants to complain about acting in movies like this and others that strive for wholesome adventure with lesser-known actors. Take a chill pill next time you cry about The Dark Knight or Spider-Man. Movies like this are the backbone of an action genre that maintains high budgets with no thought input. Is it truly fantastic? Not to me. But I have an unrelatable high standard for action movies.
Hood of Horror (2006)
Who would've thought goofy Snoop Dogg could pull off great horror?
This was as good as you could possibly hope for from a horror anthology, and way better than you would possibly expect from a Snoop Dogg helmed horror anthology. None of the stories were boring (which is common for horror anthologies), they were all original ideas (or at least executed originally), the practical effects screamed creativity (in each of the presented stories), and the spontaneity of the host was totally refreshing for the horror genre. Many people compare it with Tales from the Hood but miss the nuance of the animated segues and strokes of brilliance that make it special. Some compare it with Tales from the Crypt, which is a heck of a compliment. If you are one of the closed numbers of horror fans who seek blood and gore alongside cartoonishly captivating storylines, this is the movie for you. I highly recommend.
Dagon (2001)
A must-see for all horror fans because of writing and direction
This was a riotous adaptation of Lovecraft by master horror filmmaker Stuart Gordon. The acting was barely on par, the graphics were holding on by a thread (even the practical ones), and the overall plot was so far-fetched it would be called a foul ball in anyone else's hands. But the grandiose story careens through suspenseful parts so confidently, it's very easy to be swept away in the contagious rhythm of the movie. As a Lovecraft fan, it's enormously fun to see his stories come to such vibrant life on the screen. As a Lovecraft critic, it's even more fun to see a translation that understands its own inherent goofiness and rides it out to the point of full-circle frightening entertainment. I wouldn't call this a great movie, but it's truly a must-see for all horror fans.
A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)
More of a movie about a cat than about monsters
Overall, this movie has more in common with The Incredible Journey than the monster movie subgenre of horror. Indeed, Krasinski's masterclass in horror steps in new directions with this sequel while managing to create its own world for new viewers. If you like cats, this is a movie for you. If you crave cutting edge disruptions to A Quiet Place, not so much. As a cat-lover, I was on the edge of my seat the entire duration, literally praying that everything turned out okay. But if I was allergic to cats, I wouldn't give two craps about this movie, in general. I was also intrigued by the decision to have the main character be a disabled person and intrigued further by her having a dependency on medication. So again, this movie pulled the horror genre into directions that weren't particularly treaded to death in other sequels to other franchises. Krasinski definitely passed the torch to a worthy successor in the director. Sure, we are left with many still unanswered questions about the monsters, but is that a weakness or strength of the series? After all, it's a pretty silly premise, seemingly built around a plot device that could imaginably become boring after a couple sequels. The cat, himself, was pretty awesome. He was an amazing actor, although he was a little too quiet even for a cat. My cat liked the movie, too.
Bullet Train (2022)
Hidden talents deliver surprises on a thrill ride
This was one of my most anticipated movies of 2022, after I saw an exciting trailer in a 2021 theater experience, and when I finally saw it, I was very satisfied. Directed by hidden talent David Leitch of Deadpool and Fast and Furious sequel fame and John Wick non-credited credits, it's a solid example of a director who knows all about stunts going on to direct a movie that relishes physical action. His 2024 flop, The Fall Guy, really emphasizes his love of stunts, but this movie jam-packs more action and blood than you could ever expect. Other hidden talent appears as cameos throughout the movie; Sandra Bullock, Bad Bunny, and others pump up the star-quality. The real flaw of the movie is that it's a little too long, especially in certain parts with longer pan shots that could have been left out. But performances by Brian Henry and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, as well as Hiroyuki Sanada and Michael Shannon are pretty brilliant. Brad Pitt still steals the show. It was based on a Japanese book series and is well thought-out as far as surprises, plot, and dialog; all of which are really entertaining. It's a great action flick.
Camp Blood (2000)
Incompetent to the point of enjoyability
This is an example of a movie that deserves a much lower score than I even award it, yet salvages so much in its own self-absorbed try-harding that it manages to achieve slightly better results. The actors range from god-awful (Tim Young) to nearly interesting (Michael Taylor). Instead of simply over-relying on horror tropes like running through the woods, it runs them into the dirt and creates a world of its own. I can probably safely assume that even from here, the director's following movies went downhill, as it must be hard to recreate such blatant non-awareness in a movie. Shot on video and redundant with camera work, it still manages to get exciting in certain scenes beyond its own admitted capabilities with stupid sound effects and non-climactic special effects. The first scene has boobies, which doesn't come across as gross as often could be done in these kinds of movies, and some actually witty dialog in it that scene sort of works to lead the viewer's expectations. Just a little subversion of the usual predictions throughout the movie really labors at making it entertaining. It's really, really bad, but totally sit-throughable, and almost not a complete waste of time. I enjoyed myself watching it, but it wasn't enjoyable. By the way, if you want plot synopsis; it's essentially a ridiculously no-budget Friday the 13th, without any cabins (nor reason to call the wilderness tract it takes place on a "camp" at all), an entirely not scary clown mask instead of a hockey helmet, and almost zero creativity in the kills.
Stake Land (2010)
ZOMBIELAND meets 28 DAYS LATER
The question you need to ask before watching Stake Land is how similar is it to Zombieland? The answer: Very similar, but strikingly different in many ways. It may have more in common with 28 Days Later, with the onset of the premise. But it has an imagination of its own, to be sure. As most of it takes place in the Adirondack mountains, the scenery is lush throughout most of the film. The cinematography is quite good, which helps support the framework. The acting is definitely on or slightly above par, especially from Connor Paolo who went on to have bit parts in some other movies. Paolo is mildly entertaining as the youngster who latches on to the older Mister character, deeply reminiscent of Eisenberg and Harrelson in Zombieland. Having come out a year later than Zombieland, it's clear the influence. Even the title, "Stake Land" is uttered in a clear voice-over inspired by the previous movie's success. There are really three types of vampire movies: those that focus on the victims, such as I Am Legend, those that focus on the vampires, such as Interview with a Vampire, and those that divvy up both sides, such as From Dusk Til Dawn. This movie falls in the victims category, with mostly one-dimensional monsters as the vampires until they start to evolve later in the movie into more of a From Dusk Til Dawn version. Zombieland minus the humor, 28 Days Later with vampires, or a dumbed down From Dusk Til Dawn, anyway you cut it, this movie uses other vampire movies as its stock and blends the components only semi-competently. Entertaining? Yes. Enough to write home about? Barely.
Zombieland (2009)
Outstanding melting pot of subgenres
Zombieland was groundbreaking in many ways. It replicated the comedic aspects of the zombedy sub-genre from previous movies such as Shaun of the Dead and Peter Jackson's Braindead but moved it into a more self-aware direction. Even though it was hilarious with its monologues and dialog, it seemed to borrow more aesthetically from Grindhouse's Planet Terror with its gore and action, which made it a melting pot of previous zombie movies that satisfied the viewer with adventures and intelligent plot. The acting was groundbreaking too. Woody Harrelson was a brilliant choice, harnessing his wildness from Natural Born Killers, but taming it with the buddy-cop sentimentality of movies like Lethal Weapon alongside Jesse Eisenberg. Eisenberg delivers a breakthrough performance, and probably his most relatable and inspiring. Emma Stone appears in a similarly interesting role. The movie's surprise cameo is well-known now but suffice to say it reestablished one of comedy's greatest actors as a household name. Overall, this movie was such a joy to see, and as much as it borrowed from movies and subgenres from the past, it remains nonreplicable by its followers.
Men (2022)
Don't believe what other reviewers say - Let me explain
Of what I've read from other reviewers, almost all are horribly misinterpreting this film. In it, Alex Garland returns to his British roots and goes for a supernatural body-horror with spins from both ancient mythologies and modern woke-ism. Reviewers condemn the movie for its use of anti-manliness, pro-womanhood, and fear of masculinity. Do any of them know what the film is actually about? It's about The Green Man, from ancient Pagan mythology (Wikipedia: Green_Man). He was a pre-historic god of fertility and rebirth, as showcased in the last scenes of the movie. In the movie, he is portrayed as at first a mischievous, then threatening, then moral-ground-testing supernatural being. Most reviewers interpret his presence completely wrong and see the film as though the main protagonist (a woman) is being attacked by the men in the world who surround her. Her husband's outrage is almost relatable until he hits her, and the men she runs into are mysteriously sinister, but not violent. Only when she has to defend herself does the movie become about physical violence. In reality, The Green Man is mimicking the bodies of the men in her life and manifesting them for her judgment. Alex Garland's Annihilation was great, and Civil War was outstanding, but this is an often overlooked and misunderstood movie in his catalog. I, personally, took off some points from my score because of how it was bogged down by interpretations of the men in the movie, as well because I prefer more blood in my body-horrors. But it was a pretty good movie, nonetheless.
Snack Shack (2024)
If DAZED AND CONFUSED met STAND BY ME during the 90s
This movie felt like the director knew what he was going for and drove right for it. The dialog is mile-a-minute and saturated, the acting is at 100%, the plot is full of little surprises, and the soundtrack is pumping. Even though the story takes some hits in realistic feeling, it by no means misses the mark. Reminiscent of Linklater, Adam Rehmeier grabs the viewer's soul and doesn't stop shaking it until you feel the momentum of the movie. At almost two hours, it's long, but worth it. The dialog, unlike Linklater, stretches the imagination in ways that make you want to rewind to figure out what you've missed. Instead of being a tear-jerker, it takes you on a ride that is full of emotions, but helmed by the same teenage energies that it portrays. It reminds me of my own youth in the 90s; having a job at a young age and stacking too much money to know what to do with, chasing girlfriends who were more promiscuous than dependable, partying with older crowds behind my parents backs, the stresses of smoking which were perpendicular rather than parallel to the stresses of being an adult, and having friends who could be close enough to hug even after a fight. A true time capsule of a movie, one of the best I've seen in years.
Primal Rage (2018)
PREDATOR meets DELIVERANCE meets TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE meets HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS
I thought this movie started out silly (rock-throwing goons in the beginning and character developing that seemed over-the-top,) built up momentum quickly into a Deliverance style narrative, then transitioned quickly into a Predator 1 & 2 knockoff, before transforming completely into a Texas Chainsaw Massacre type of premise. The acting was dull but was accentuated by the exposed bodies of the lead actors throughout the first two acts and made more fun with try-to-hard dialog and goofy sub-characters. It also moved through the aforementioned titles' plot styles pretty seamlessly. Almost all of the Native American parts were a little off-putting, and the third act was tied together way too quickly, with little explanation, but the rest of the sequences were engaging and interesting. The kills were super-gory and bloody and were the highlight of the film. I never thought I'd like a bigfoot movie besides Harry and the Hendersons!
Dune: Part Two (2024)
A really fun and very engaging addition to the Dune series
I saw this opening weekend in 4DX at Regal Theaters (the theater where the seats move, water sprays in the air, air blasts you, the theater fills with smoke, lightning flashes, etc.) I had a completely amazing experience with the movie. Denis Villeneuve is one of my least favorite directors. I thought Prisoners sucked, Blade Runner sucked, and Arrival sucked. But his vision came to completion with this installment of the Dune series. His first Dune movie, in 2021, was rather bland all-around. This one was filled with action sequences to the brim. I also commend him with his efforts in artistic cinema with the black and white Harkonnen world. Austin Butler was really great, as was Zendaya. There are many flaws in the movie such as where it skips parts of the books or changes them, mechanics of some of the sci-fi elements, and some of the actors' lack of commitment to their roles. But overall, it was a really fun and entertaining movie that impressed me a lot. Riding the 4DX seats while they were riding the sandworms was a blast!
Zombeavers (2014)
Funny scenes combined with jump scares
This was a really great low budget new horror film riding a wave of resurgence of the genre. Despite actively rooting for each of the main characters to die because of their inherent unlikability, it rounded out a nice cast of actors to fill the screentime. The practical effects were very goofy, but there was still room for ample jump scares. It was really cool to see Bill Burr make an appearance, too. It follows tropes of the zombie subgenre but breaks away enough from the norm to still be unique and watch-worthy. The plot was scatter-brained but comes full-circle and made sense. It was definitely a funny and comedic attempt at zombie flicks.
WolfCop (2014)
Practical effects worth seeing
This movie was good on many levels which harkened back to the golden days of horror filmmaking. Practical effects galore, it was a low budget gore-fest which brought good acting and plenty of entertaining scenes. Through watching the low budget display of practical effects, the viewer is sucked in to the screentime. Willie was one of the best supporting actors in a horror film whose comedic acting was a delight to watch. Even though it dragged a bit in some of the scenes around the drunken main character, the storyline kept it moving quickly enough to make it worth it. While I wouldn't recommend this as one of the best of the genre, it was definitely worth seeking out.
...E tu vivrai nel terrore! L'aldilà (1981)
Lucio Fulci was a one-of-a-kind genius of all time
The Beyond reaches beyond the stereotypical tropes of horror and is an outstanding and visionary masterpiece. It is multi-layered and contains not only gore and jump scares but also tense and permeating supernatural auras which grip the viewer in terror. Inserted as the second of the Gates of Hell Trilogy by Lucio Fulci, it is one of the best horror films of all time. The first in the Gates of Hell Trilogy is not nearly as well thought-out, but the third stands out as a solid sequel even if it is almost completely unrelated. It is almost better to regard The Beyond as a standalone film and appreciate its many assets as an orchestrated piece. The last scenes are grisly and grinding, while the first scenes are startling and shocking. Fulci was a genius without comparison.
American Fiction (2023)
Not too high-brow but very in-depth view of modern American struggles
This is a really wonderful movie about the struggles of writing and with being a black person in modern society. Instead of giving in to the woke world which surrounds us all the time now, it bucks against it. Rather than feeling like you were watching an internalized story about people from other communities, you could feel involved in the story. I have been a long-time fan of Sterling Brown and his performance in this film was well done, through-and-through. I actually first really noticed Jeffrey Wright in Asteroid City, which was directed by Wes Anderson last year, and remarked in my review how he delivered a strong performance. But Wright's unique ability really shone through in this one and he was a delight to watch. Being a writer can be very frustrating, and this film truly showed what kinds of anxieties and problems can arise in the creation of art. I really enjoyed it.
Scream (2015)
Better than the SCREAM movie series
Scream: The TV Series did what the movie series could not in many ways. It created a giallo-esque atmosphere of murders and mayhem which are nearly impossible to figure out for the audience, with great acting and beautiful screenwriting. It also did without the meta- involvement of the movies, which gave it a much more authentic and realistic feel to the series which was lacking in the movies. Many people will complain about season 3, but I personally didn't see too much difference to make it as completely unenjoyable as they all seem to think it was. Seasons 1 & 2 take place in the same timeline with the same actors, and certainly does well to stretch the writing and make it not only believable but also interesting to watch. Season 3 is seen as a reboot, wherein the cast are mostly black actors and actresses, and I think it was better than decent, and was in fact pretty good on its own. When I first sat down to watch the third season, I felt like it wouldn't live up to the first two, and put it off for a couple years before I revisited it. I was happily rewarded with a good story and hard-to-figure-out plot twists. It seemed slightly more involved with the meta- aspects which are overbearing in the movie series, but not so much to be distracting. Overall I loved this series, it's one of the best thrillers/horrors ever to be released. The slow draw of the series will be difficult to imitate for all time.
Mother! (2017)
Psychological horror at its finest
This was a film which divided audiences and spoke to people's intelligences quite frankly. It's an abstract view of motherhood as seen from the view of a woman trapped in purgatory with the devil. Purgatory, in the Christian sense, is of course a place where unbaptized babies go in limbo of being sent to heaven or hell. Yet, in mother!, there is a brooding sense of nightmarish qualities to her life's descent into "living" hell, and terrorization as manifested from her husband (the sympathizing antagonist.) She is sent to purgatory with pregnancy with neglect and shunning as her punishment. This juxtaposes the traditional definitions on many interlinked levels. The acting is superb from Javier Bardem and well underplayed by Jennifer Lawrence. The supporting cast such as Ed Harris do a magnificent job exacerbating the scenes of mayhem for the viewer. Darren Aronofsky is truly a visionary director, taking a YA novel which was the basis for the movie, and melding a world which slowly and gradually creates an unbreakable anxiety all the way to the ending.
Cape Fear (1991)
John D. MacDonald and Martin Scorsese are a dream team
Movies about the police and lawyers generally are a blind spot for me, as I can't stand police procedurals and courtroom dramas. I got into this movie because of the author of the book it's based on, John D. MacDonald. I found out about him when I read a collection of short stories called "Pulp Masters," after reading a collection of Oxford mysteries, and was so enamored with his storytelling that I sought out several of his books which were amazing. He truly was a master story-smith with an astounding amount of knowledge about a bewildering array of topics. He also was from Utica, where my father grew up, and attended Syracuse University where my mother is alumni. He died in 1986, five years before the filming of Cape Fear. I also had written a novella (unpublished) which centered around the area surrounding Cape Fear in North Carolina, and even involves a hike along the boardwalk of its titular waterway. The acting in this is impeccable from Nick Nolte, Juliet Lewis, and Robert De Niro. De Niro's performance is truly cringe-worthy and was difficult for me to watch and enjoy. The writing was top-notch, and although I haven't read the book it was based on, 'The Executioners,' I'm sure it was riveting. For the reasons that I don't enjoy this kind of story on screen, I don't give the movie super-high praise, even though it was by the affluential Martin Scorsese's direction. It was rattling and unsettling to see the characters' actions and motives play out, and I would have preferred to try to read the book. Good movie, overall, but not my cup of tea. I think it would be great to see more screen translations of MacDonald's books.