Change Your Image
Joe S.
Reviews
Xenogears (1998)
Really Good, but Not at the Top of My List
*SPOILER NOTICE*
I just want to say that all though I will sound highly critical, I did enjoy this game. The main story was amazing how it took so many elements that seemed like simple piling on and brought them all together very well. However, many many people have praised this endlessly and I just can't say this has been the great experience that many others have had.
My biggest problem comes with some things the designers did to make the game "bigger" outside of the story line. Sure, people can give estimates anywhere from 50-100 hours of gameplay, but in many ways, that means little if they're not quality hours. Just because a movie's three hours doesn't immediately make it a masterpiece. Do I need to bring Pearl Harbor into this? There are many things that could've been cut straight out of the game without anyone missing anything. The biggest example is the time spent in Kislev. There's more than eight hours spent in an area made up of mostly browns and boringness. Eight hours. That's a full day's work spent just to get one character in your party and to establish another. And spending at least a fourth of that time in a sewer is just too much (sewers have to be the absolute worst places to be installed into RPGs since they overdid the 3-D areas in the late 80s and early 90s). Plus, there are times when they are about to reveal key secrets to the game and they pull the "But first.... HERE'S THE MOST COMPLICATED PLACE KNOWN TO MAN WITH THE HARDEST ENEMIES YOU'LL FIND!" Krelian's lab and the final area of the game are good examples. I know it's a game and challenge is required, but come on, there's a point between anxious anticipation and aggrivation that this game crossed a few times with me. And the constant fights don't help either. I don't care what battle system you have. They get irritating after a long time (except for FF Tactics, because battles were the whole point!) As for the religious references, for the record I am a Christian, but since a lot of games have the "conquering of God" theme (there's a well-known series of game whose recent entry follows along the same lines, but that's all I'll say about that). For the most part, I'm OK with with it, but there are times when they grow too much of an ego. I don't know if it's just one of many translational problems this game had or what, but I hate it when they highlight some of the references like they do with *ABEL*. It's like they're saying, "Look, we made a Biblical reference! Aren't we the most brilliant people on Earth!" Modesty, ladies and gentlemen. Modesty. Also, I didn't appreciate the scene where they crucified some characters for no apparent reason! Now, maybe I missed something, but just sending people to the cross without the slightest idea of how that fits into the mythology of the game is just wrong! I mean, it's going fine with high-brow criticism and then it brings something which is offensive and worse, offesnsive without any reason to be! If it was a full-blown allegory, I'd understand, but it isn't. It makes religious references and makes some characters like character from different religions, but they aren't full-blown depictions.
I personally prefer Breath fo Fire II's criticism where it has a monster that creates a Christian-like religion and uses the prayers of people to drain their energy and their souls. It shocks into realizing that most people are using tools of prayer for personal greed and that simply makes us empty, and that sets in. I'm just lukewarm to this one, simply because it sometimes acts as self-rightious as the people they're attacking. And they perhaps add too much fantasy aspects that it distances itself from the things it criticizes. The Catholic Church has been accused of a lot of things, but I don't think it ever did human experimentation, turning people into blood-sucking zombies. In my mind, that's probably the LAST thing they'd do, judging from their stance on stem-cell research and the like, but hey, maybe it's a metaphor.
As for other parts of the game, I used to dislike the music, but it's grown on me. The main reason I didn't like it is that they overuse and overuse certain tracks until you'd rather put a gun to your head than listen to it again (ex. Yggdrasil and Aveh's theme). I mean Mitsuda's work is wonderful, but I don't think it's right for the repeatitive listening game music requires. Chrono Chross is a much better use of Mitsuda's work as game music even though the game is inferior. The anime cut scenes aside from the opener don't add much. There are times when I wondered why they put one in at all. Also the inclusion of CG isn't all that seamless. Sometimes, it looks like they're mixing Reboot with a comic book. For an example of this done people, try the Lunar Complete series for the PSX. While Xenogears may have been rushed and the Lunar games were given plenty of production times, still, we have to judge the finished project as the finished project. As for the regular graphics, the graphics sometimes make it hard to tell where people are and sometimes WHO people are. Also, sometimes it leaves you somewhere without a goal and you must spend at least an hour rummaging around listening to the same villagers and their dry, commoner dialogue to figure where to go and what to do (Aveh again). Plus, the translation problems make some odd conspiracy theories. In reading some internet articles regarding the referencees made, many of them said that some harsh religious references existed but were less noticable because of misspellings. Now, I'm sure it's probably a case of mistaking some letters, and with working with such a massive work, it's hard to check. However, some people who are finger-pointing censorphobes may beg to differ. It would've been better to get it right. Overall, the game is really good as far as plot goes. However, the framing of it is something that at times, makes it difficult for me to be gripped into the game. But there's very little I'm truly angry at. In fact, the only thing I'm angry at is that they blatently ripped off the movie Soylent Green and don't fess up. Instead, they integrate it completely in like there's nothing wrong. And it distracts those who get the reference too. I was yanked clean out of the game by the roots because of it. However, for most of you who weren't even born when Soylent Green came out, there should be no problem. In the end, I'm glad I own it, but, as an avid Opera buffo, there's no topping FF VI in my mind.
The Siege (1998)
A Good Movie With Recent Implications Though a Lot of Hollywood
The Siege is a very strange movie, made even stranger by preceding events I don't think I have to remind you about. There is so much that seemed to predict the future, yet there were also many flaws that were revealed by the recent terrorist attacks.
****Slight spoilers ahead****
The biggest eye soar is the how security forces reacted after the initial bus explosion. Now, after a terrorist attack, it would make sense that an opera house full of a who's who list of New York celeberties would be under heavy guard and have constant safety checks. This didn't seem to be the case in the movie.
That said, the movie is a mostly effective look at terrorism and the complications that come with it. It's good that some people remember this movie and that its box-office failure didn't cause it to be completely forgotten. Some people call it leftist, saying that we are the attackers and they were the victims. I personally don't feel that's the case. To me, it seems to state that, "there's a whole lot more to this." That we aren't completely innocent and "they" aren't all villains. Yes, the piling of people into Shea Stadium was heavy-handed, but at least they didn't put them into Yankee Stadium and make the symbolism outrageous!
The acting is good. Denzel Washington adds a human side to what normally would be a badge-flashing fed just looking for the facts. Tony Shalhoub is great in a supporting role as Denzil's partner. However, I'm not sure of what to think about Annette Bening's character. I don't know whether it's miscasting or poor writing, but I have absolutely no idea of who she is. One thing's for sure, though; she seems a little ditzy for someone who's been in and out of all of the nooks and crannies of Mid East military movements. The story moves about very well until the final act. There are very effective scenes such as a meeting of important government figures being interrupted by an erruption of pager and cell phone noise. However, when the last third of the movie develops, it is handled in a sloppy way to tie it all together. One person is killed for no apparent reason other than to give another character reason to be arrested later. The movie leaned heavily on some conventions and scenes that seemed way out of place. Its steel temperment wore down.
Overall, it was fascinating to watch before and it's even more so today. Many of things said have happened. It is especially relevant to note that the government has passed some anti-terrorist laws that are somewhat exploiting one certain ethnic group as an aftershock, so the twists of persecution aren't just bad dreams that are born from the imaginations of liberals. Still, one can't ignore some it is a little too over-the-top.
Scary Movie 2 (2001)
Falls Flat on Its Face
OK, unlike many others who have shamed the original Scary Movie like those would curse the plague, I enjoyed my one viewing of it. It was a packed theater and everyone in it had a good time, though I don't feel the need to ever see it again. However, this is horrible.
I don't ask much from spoofs. I even liked Wrongfully Accused even though it was more than apparent no one was really putting their full effort into it. However, when a spoof is not funny, it fails horribly. What's to go back on? Plot? No. Character development? No. Uh, acting? Nope.
This movie is simply not funny. Nothing in this movie is funny. Chris Elliot's character is not funny, not one of the spoofs on any movie is funny, and added to that, I didn't even get that it was a spoof on M:I 2 until the scene was almost over! The Wayans said they researched through tons of movies to make this one. All it proves is that they've wasted their time watching movies rather than actually MAKING one!
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)
The Worst Movie I've Ever Seen!
Dear me, I was a regular viewer of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I've seen really bad movies before. But nothing, NOTHING as horrible as this! I wouldn't call the original a classic by any means, but it was semi-stylistically done and had at least some decent execution. Here, everything fails. Did New Line bank-roll this? It's looks like an S & M kung-fu movie made by a film group of a college campus! I mean, Community Theaters have better costuming than this! And then they get rid of the two best elements of the original: Johnny Cage and Christopher Lambert (if you can't even lure Christopher Lambert back for a sequal, stop making your movie IMMEDIATELY!). Just what were they thinking?! WERE they thinking?!
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
A visual delight, though I'm finding few people agree
I understood the plot of the original movie, though it would take too many words on here to explain. However, the movie was too locked into a European coffee-house look that may work great for an intellectual character study, but drains the excitement from a spy thriller. What immediately makes this movie better is the location. Australia is a breath of fresh air from most cramped in hotel room espionage games, though the conventional car chase and horse race present themselves here-and-there. The plot is a bit simple, but then again, it isn't completely spelled out either. Exciting action sequences are laced throughout the movie, especially one break-in sequence that while not having as large of a scope of the original's break-in, provides astounding visuals especially of downtown Sydney. The parts in between may have been a complete bore (and to some, they were), but two things saved them for me. The first is John Woo's visual style. While some may say it's self-centered direction, the movie provides many stunning visuals to push the emotional levels. A scene where Agent Hunt first meets a female thief who must be recruiting for the mission, the camera plays tricks with their gazes and the spinning of Spanish dancers. While too flashy for some tastes, it breathes life into a scene that by any other director's hands would be simply two people looking at each other. The second is Hans Zimmer's wonderful score. Though sometimes falling to the "give the people what they want" flair of Lalo Schifrin's Mission:Impossible theme, the rest of score is surprisingly emotional. Since there are some points that lack chemistry between the characters, the music is key to the success of the movie. The sensual yet rousing themes make the audience care about the characters without pushing the them into it. Put it all together and it's an exciting movie that kept me involved from beginning to end, even if the lack of just one of above elements would make the movie fall apart.
Magnum Force (1973)
Worst of the Dirty Harry movies, but has some redeeming qualities.
Magnum Force is a jigsaw puzzle of a movie that has some great points to think about, but leaves the viewer a little dissapointed. Clint Eastwood plays Harry Callahan once again as only Eastwood can. However, the movie's plot throws in an unneeded twist involving a gangster, while simply baiting the audience with the big theme. The movie also fails to drum up excitement for more than 5 seconds of excitement and the ending chase scenes meanders around too long. Still, something to think about and Lalo Schifrin's score still rocks.
The Cider House Rules (1999)
Was I supposed to like anyone in this movie?
Really, was I supposed to like ANYONE in this movie? The sentimental tone tells me so. Unfortunately, everyone here is in a delusional consequence-free world where "if it makes you feel good no matter if it's wrong, do it." OK, maybe I liked the orphan girl maybe I did feel sorry for Air Force pilot who was a nice guy who got dealed with behind his back, but if this is in any way supposed to be a feel-good movie, it failed. There's one scene in particular where we're supposed to feel sorry for two characters actions towards each other because they're "human." Well, one was a murderer and the other a monster, so I felt nothing for either of them. If Stanley Kubrick had directed the same material, it would have been complete sarcastic satire. Even the beautiful shots couldn't drag me away from the sheer horridness of the characters involved.
Wing Commander (1999)
In the words of Bill Murray in Scrooged, "Wow, did THAT suck!"
I can't believe what I'm hearing. People giving sympathy to this environmental waste of a movie! I understand how people could feel sorry for some of the crew involved. Jürgen Prochow was in Das Boot and Lillard's had his moments, but frankly, a movie whose selling point was the Episode One trailer has no business even being in existence! OK, the plot was all sci-fi movies, Top Gun, and other various genre films grinded up in a blender and served as a bitter drink to help some studio execs sober up. The space ships were trashy WWII Aces, if that. Every moment was predictable and even the time stop that had given a few "Wows" in the "Lost in Space" movie was put to waste. At least that had some campy fun in it. This movie isn't Ed Wood so-bad-it's good stuff. It's all for the paychecks. As it compares to other movies to games? Well, when a movie makes me yearn to watch "Super Mario Bros," it's bad. Even "Double Dragon" had a stronger female protagonist! This movie dipped below the worst expectations and has descended in the 13th level of Cinema Hell next to "Spice World" and "Invaders from Neptune"
The Last Boy Scout (1991)
Just ignore the fact that C-4 doesn't explode when you shoot it, and you'll have a great time.
OK, watching this movie is one of my most guilty pleasures. (That and seeing "Fight Club.") However, one cannot deny such a well-made and thoroughly entertaining movie. I really wasn't a fan of the "Lethal Weapon" series because it was just so happy at the end of the first and the more crowd-pleasing sequels. This shows a more realistic action and a prediction of things to come for professional sports. (Except for the small fact that LA doesn't have a team anymore) Right Wing conspirators lay off; this is true blood-pumping entertainment despite foul-mouth, gun toting heroes and villains. The story takes place in gloomy, smog-covered LA where football players are willing to kill to make the point spread. Here, Detective Joseph Halenbeck (Willis) and former pro Jimmie Dicks (Damon Wayens) are fighting cops, corruption, and nafarious punks in cheap suits. Stacked against them is a Jerry Jones-ish owner named Shelley Marcone, slimey henchgoon Milo who has a habit of calling people by their full names, and other various enemies from every walk of life from a pimp-lookin' guy who loves "Yo Mama" jokes to an ill-tempered punk with a rather extensive vocabulary, and even Joe's family life has its problems. What makes this movie really explode is the chemistry and certain believable aspects of the movie. All the characters, especially Joe and Jimmy, interact perfectly and give the maximum quality of Shane Black's one-liners. Listening to this makes me feel that maybe buddy action movies aren't so brain dead after all. (Then I watch Wild Wild West. That snaps me back into place.) Also, while the action is a stretch, many of the events themselves are believable. Rather than having the seriously warped backstory (Mel in Lethal Weapon just happened to be connected with South African terrorism?! Riiiiiiiiiiight.), the movie has Joe as an ex-secret service agent at the right place at the right time. It's still hard to swallow, but hey, it's a movie, OK?! What can I say? The movie's exciting, funny, ravenous, and cool. The best buddy movie if I have anything to say about it.
The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
Should be retitled "Matt Damon Staring Curiously for Two and a Half Hours!"
Hey, I like long movies. Meet Joe Black was great for me, I enjoyed a sit through of Eyes Wide Shut, but this movie is an example of why some books should never be made into movies. The first hour was great. I was intrigued with the jazz-filled locales and mysterious characters. Then I was shocked at how the movie dumps the most interesting character, eliminates the jazz and stoops to a boring game of imitate and evade. Matt Damon has his moments, but they're wasted on account that there is really no way to get into Ripley's mind. Words would describe the scenes way better than any stares by Damon. Also, the other characters seem to be there just make Ripley paranoid. Really, was Paltrow there just to blow the whistle for Ripley's impersonation of Dickie? Only Jude Law's great performance keeps this from being a movie of boring people walking around. Oh well, some points for the beautiful shots of Venice.
Anastasia (1997)
The most wonderful animated film since The Little Mermaid
Yes, I am a teenage male, and I truly loved this movie. The look is truly elegant and masterfully done. I loved watching every moment of this film. The songs may not be the best, but they were great none-the-less. The plot may not be right as rain with the history books, but hey, it's better than the screwed-up versions of literary characters Disney makes. Also shining is Hank Azaria as Bartok and Meg Ryan as Anya. They truly made their characters. As for the plot, predictable children's fair, but I enjoyed every minute of it! Pure fun all the way!
The Phantom Planet (1961)
Really bad, but...
Phantom Planet was a horrendous B-Movie, but I did like the co-pilots one line. It was flowery, stupid, and innappropriate, sure, but it was funny it made the movie enjoyable for oh, 5 seconds. Other than that, logicless crap. I mean, did they really think humans could shrink with increased gravity? Odds are, they'd just be crushed under the full pressure.
GoldenEye (1995)
One of the most underrated films of the Series
Goldeneye was Bond at its truly edgiest. Not because the movie has a revenge scheme to it, but because so much was riding on it. MGM, United Artists, and everyone involved in the Bond series save Connery himself was at risk of going under. In the words of many a secret agent, failure is not an option. So comes probably the one of the greatest efforts of the studio in quite awhile. Brosnan didn't act like the smug, "I am Bond" attitude, but did everything he could to do the job right. And so he did. The movie was fun, exciting. The action sequences were bone-jarring, the characters interesting, and please, ladies and gentlemen, the plot wasn't as complicated than at first glance. It may have been an act of desperation but it was a great one.
True Lies (1994)
Schwartzennegger trying to be stealthy? Yeah, right!
Here's the immediate problem I have with this movie: Ah-nold trying to be a spy. Sure, he can handle the tough-stuff, but I highly doubt he could sneak around that well. As for the rest, rehashing of James Bond stuff with a annoying Tom Arnold on back-up and a totally taste-less strip scene that makes the movie even longer. Bond movies get to the point in normally two hours. That's all that should be required.
Time Chasers (1994)
The feel bad movie of the millennium!
You know, with better casting, more exotic locations, a larger budget, a major screenplay overhaul, a new movie studio, a new director, a new plot, and less techno-cheese, this movie wouldn't have been that bad! As for other comments, may the Giancola family look at what a sin of a bad movie they've made!
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
A twisting Ballet for the mind
Those who have a patient and open mind one will find it fascinating and thought-provoking. I understand that some people don't have such patience for a slow-moving movie but for those who do, it's a twisted look at what happens and what we think happened. Don't throw the movie away for a rated porno just because it has one extremely odd scene of nudity. It's responsible filmmaking. Trust me.
Fight Club (1999)
Relentless, dark, unflinching.... I LOVE IT!!
Easily the best film of 1999, director David Fincher takes a powerful tour-de-force through society as it stands today. Almost every line drips with social satire, Norton makes one of the most convincing performances of the decade as a data analyst plunged into a dark underworld by Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), who opens him up to a new world where there is more than print, colate, and fax. It's thought-provoking, hilarious, and heart-breaking all at once. A modern masterpiece by all means.