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JACK-296
Reviews
2012 (2009)
Irwin Allen Where are you?
I have been a fan of disaster movies since I first saw "The Poseidon Adventure" on television when I was five years old. I love everything about them, the great music, the terrific effects, the gathering of actors who you get to see meet their demise in very cool ways. What happened to all of that? Today's disaster movies are just terrible.
2012 is no exception. Cool effects but you never really feel that anyone is in any type of danger. The characters are cardboard, the plot thin, far too many comedic moments. If I want to see a comedy I will go see a comedy not a disaster film. "The Poseidon Adventure" had lighthearted moments in it but you never felt as though the situation they were in was nothing but grave.
Roland Emmerich should sit down and watch a few of the late, great Irwin Allen's disaster films such as "The Poseidon Adventure" and the incredibly awesome "The Towering Inferno." Note to Hollywood, go back to making movies and not video games.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART WHATEVER: TIRED, OLD AND VERY STUPID
I don't know why I continue to waste my money going to see these horrible movies. I have been a big fan of Friday the 13th since Betsy Palmer's first stalked Camp Crystal Lake. However this series has not been good since 1984 with Friday the 13th Part 4: the Final Chapter and since New Line has raped the franchise it has gone from bad to terrible.
The latest installment puts freddy from the equally bad " Nightmare On Elm Street " movies against Jason Voorhees. The characters in this movie are pathetic. There is no plot. It is so bloody it is comical. The supposedly frightening moments are so predictable that it is the only thing scary about this piece of trash. I don't need to see Freddy Fighting Jason. What I need to see is some dark creepy woods with Jason stalking campers. Less gore more creepy atmosphere and stop please please stop trying to be comical. Either end this series or go back to it's original roots.
Empire of the Ants (1977)
It's A film produced by Samuel Z Arkoff. What did you expect "Schindler's List"?
I must say I am amazed by the people who review these films and do not understand the types of films that they are reviewing. This ( " Empire Of The Ants")is a low budget horror film made by a guy who directed " The Amazing Colossal Man". You must know what to expect when you see these films. They are low budget, and yes purposely campy horror films. Excluding the wardrobe which at the time " Empire Of The Ants " was made was considered stylish, the rest of the effects and plot in this film are purposely campy. I'm sure that Bert I Gordon knew the type of film that he was making. Basically a campy horror film with bad effects, and bad writing and he ran with it, and did a good job at it for that matter.
I also get very angered when people review these types of films and compare them to the movies of today. When reviewing a film you should take into account the time period that the film came from, and if you are going to compare this film to another it be best if you compared it to another film that came out during the same time. Not one that came out last year. I'd like to meet the snobs that review these films. They obviously should not being watching films or reviewing films like " Empire Of The Ants". Stick to watching films like " Forrest Gump" and keep out of the horror movie genre until you get a better understanding of it.
Aftershock: Earthquake in New York (1999)
Watch Charlton Heston's EarthQuake (1974) Much Better!!!
The disaster films of the 1990's excluding of course " Volcano" (1997 Tommy Lee Jones.) are just downright bad the special effects are horrible and the characters are pathetic. If you are going to make a disaster film you need to make them epic. If you are going to make a movie about an Eartthquake in new York then for god's sake show New York getting destroyed. The Earthquake sequence in this movie leaves you feeling jipped when it is all over with, and then it leaves you with pathetic characters that you don't care much about for the rest of the film. Another major problem with this film and most of the disaster films of the 90's is that there is absolutely no build up what so ever. If you watch the disaster films of the 1970's there was always a feeling for the first twenty minutes or so of those films that something really bad was going to happen, an impending doom that got you more involved in those films. That is certainly not the case nowadays and especially with " Earthquake In New York". If you want to see a good disaster film most definetly watch " The Towering Inferno" or " Earthquake" and if you are interested in a more updated disaster film catch " Volcano" with Tommy Lee Jones that movie truly delivers the goods.
Planet of the Apes (2001)
PLANET OF THE PLOTLESS, ANNOYING, UNENJOYABLE PIECE OF GARBAGE
I am growing so very tired of Hollywood and the junk that they have been putting out. This movie certainly was not worth my time or my money. The only thing good about this movie is Danny Elfman's theme and that's it. The make up effects are down right horrible as well as the acting and what little of a screenplay there is is absolutely disgraceful. The ending, which I will not give away so not to ruin it for the poor souls who are still considering seeing this piece of garbage is absolutely pointless and adds nothing to the movie. In fact the ending makes absolutely no sense and feels as though it was a last minute ending that was added on a week before the movie was released.
This movie will also be very offensive to a certain minority group. A lot of what I guess Hollywood executives think are funny little inside jokes are actually extrmely racist and serve no purpose in a film like this. Yes the Planet Of The Apes films have always reflected the racial tensions in this country but they certainly never made a joke of it.
I think it is time for Richard Zanuck to retire being he hasn't made a good film since Jaws and Tim Burton should stick to making films like Ed Wood which showcased a lot more of his talent than this piece of garbage.