The Eyes of Tammy Faye

I was born in 1985. PTL was only on the air until 1989, so I never saw an episode. I'm from Charlotte, NC, so growing up I thought I knew all the basics about the "scandal".

I didn't meet Tammy Faye until 2000. 15 years after she fell from Grace in the court of public opinion.

We met when I was working at Stein Mart in Matthews, NC. I was a 15 year old cashier. She came into my line one day, and I said "Hi Tammy Faye". She looked shocked, and said I was too young to know who she was. I told her she knew my mom, told her my mom's name, and she instantly remembered her. She met my mom when my mom was the teenager who worked customer service who ordered her custom eyelashes for her from a local store called Jamco. My mom eventually became head teller at the bank that PTL had it's accounts with, so she interacted with Tammy for years.

After that day anytime Tammy would come in we'd talk. Sometimes for a couple minutes, and sometimes longer. Tammy became my own personal Dolly Patron. Her personality was larger than life. We were kindred spirits. We both share a love of makeup, clothes, and shoes. We both never left the house without makeup. We just instantly clicked.

I never heard Tammy ever speak a negative word about anyone. She was the most genuinely kind person I have ever met. I grew to love her almost immediately. Her spirit was contagious. She had almost a child like quality about her. Being around her made you feel good. She radiated pure love, and empathy.

The last time I saw Tammy she had cancer. She was so frail I almost didn't recognize her, but she had her hair and makeup done as always. She introduced me to her son who was with her. What I respect most about her is that she went through cancer on her terms. She never let it change who she was as a person. I asked how she was, and she told me she was at peace with whatever the outcome would be for her because it was in God's hands. A couple weeks later I heard the news that she had died. The world got a little darker that day without the light of Tammy Faye in it. I will always believe she was one of the best people that I have ever been fortune enough to meet, and get to know.

I was lucky enough to be cast as an extra in the film "The Eyes of Tammy Faye" you'll see me quite a few times in a bubble gum pink dress, sunglasses, and hideous beige hat.

I was scared that this would be just one more round of bashing Tammy. As soon as I stepped on set I saw the love and care that the entire cast and crew was pouring into the movie. The first time I heard Jessica laugh portraying Tammy I did a double take because I thought it was her. Jessica embodied Tammy completely. It was like Tammy reached down from Heaven, and took up residence in Jessica's body. It was the most incredible thing I've ever witnessed. Watching Jessica embody Tammy in person was like having my friend back for a couple of days.

The movie does an excellent job of telling the truth. Tammy was naive. Tammy was trusting. She was those things still long after the PTL scandal. She was the most devout Christian who I have ever met. She had absolutely unwavering faith in God through everything she had been through.

Tammy was honest, but she was not cruel or mean spirited. Her honesty always came from a place of love, and she was the first to be honest about her own failings and shortcomings. I believe Jim knew he didn't have the personality to make his vision a reality. He saw things in Tammy that he knew he could never be. He needed a face for his empire, and Tammy was the perfect mascot. It was blatantly obvious that he later became insanely jealous of the fact that she got more attention than he did. She believed she was helping others while Jim was always, and to this day still is helping himself.

There is a reason why Tammy was never charged, and Jim was over the PTL mismanagement. Someone can be innocent in the eyes of the law, and still crucified in the court of public opinion fueled entirely by the media.

Was Tammy perfect, no. She was human, and would be the first to tell you that. Was Tammy a good person? Without a doubt. She was the best of us.

Thank you to Jessica for fighting so hard to give Tammy a voice. She would have been thrilled at the way you portrayed her on film. I feel like Tammy was finally given a bit of the justice, and respect she so deserves. You absolutely deserve an Oscar for your performance.

Thank you to the rest of the cast, and crew for being so kind to us extras. You all helped to capture Tammy's spirit, and remind me how fortunate I was to know her in my own small way. I hope the world can finally see just a little bit of the incredible person who I knew.