After being ridden by obnoxious child Lunchbox (Teague Shaw), sentient carousel unicorn Duke (voiced by Steve Rimpici) loses his cool and embarks on a bloody rampage. Can amusement park mascot Cowboy Cool (Frank Sidebottom's relation from across the pond?) save the day?
Sounds dumb, eh? And it is. Very, very dumb. And writer/director Steve Rudzinski clearly knows this. He doesn't allow dreadful acting and terrible humour stop him from committing his crazy vision to digital video. He doesn't let a budget amounting to little more than most films' toilet paper allowance to stop the fun. And I don't believe he gives two hoots what amateur reviewers like me think of the results. He's having fun with his fellow film-makers and that's all that matters to Steve.
I watched just to see how Rudzinski would bring his unicorn to life. The short answer is 'he doesn't', the thing remaining inanimate the whole time. I guess that's part of the joke. Sadly, the sheer stupidity of the basic premise can only go so far, and the rest of the film, which focuses on a group of friends having a party, unaware that the gaily-painted wooden unicorn poses a threat, is pretty tiresome, comedy not exactly being Rudzinski's forte. The humour is grating and the characters -- Preston (Chris Proud), a cut-rate Stifler wannabe; Lunchbox's social-media obsessed sister Laurie (Sé Marie); an incestuous Canadian brother and sister; and pizza delivery guy Joe (Rudzinski himself), who would rather be paid than have sex with Laurie -- are annoying.
The film is at its most fun when it's being gloriously trashy, the best bits being the laughably OTT kills and a spot of brief but welcome nudity: I particularly enjoyed the part where a guy gets the top of his head knocked off by a well-aimed unicorn kick, the juicy throat ripping, the melting head scene, and indie horror cutie Haley Madison, as unicorn obsessed Sarah, taking off her top to have sex with Duke. I wish that Rudzinski had given us more gore and T&A and less comedy; that said, I did giggle at the sight of the killer unicorn successfully disguising itself as a lamp.
My rating: 3/10. Not a very high score, I grant you, but that still makes it my second favourite killer unicorn film after The Cabin In The Woods.
